Oh, there I am.

So there’s this strange thing that happens to me where when I’m in a depression it literally affects my sight. The deeper I get into a depression the more I get literal tunnel vision, with all of the edges seeming hazy and dark…it’s as if I am looking up through the bottom of a well or looking through binoculars that don’t work.

And today…there’s a little light. It’s as if someone turned on a lamp in a room that I hadn’t realized was so very dark. And I feel like I can think almost straight and my basic words don’t run from me. And it is such a relief to feel this and remind myself again that depression makes you feel like you’ve been there forever…that you are at the end. So I’m writing this now to remind myself that it’s not, in case I start to fall down that well again sooner rather than later. And I’m taking advantage of this bit of energy to update you on fun stuff I’ve wanted to write about but didn’t have the energy for. YAY.

First up, I’m speaking at the National Book Festival at the Library of Congress next month. Whoop! Tickets are free! Come join me!

Second, Nowhere Bookshop was voted BEST BOOKSTORE OF SAN ANTONIO and that is a very big deal because there are a lot of great bookstores in this city. Also, clearly we need to make a “BRAINY MISFIT” t-shirt because that is pretty darn accurate and I would certainly wear one myself.

Hailey had their wisdom teeth removed yesterday. My doctors wouldn’t let me keep my wisdom teeth so I asked if we could keep Hailey’s and the drs thought that was very weird but they allowed it, except that when they woke up Hailey said that they needed boil their teeth to make a “teeth tea” because “that’s where all the vitamins are” and the nurse whispered to me “Don’t let them drink their teeth” and I was like, “Of course not. We’ll make them into jewelry like normal people do.” But the weird thing is that Hailey’s wisdom teeth roots were curved so much that they looked like tiny gnome hats. I would show you but they’re still quite bloody and I don’t want to gross you out. But like this, except teeth:

Anyway, Hailey is doing very well today and last time I looked in on them they looked like a beautiful but consumptive Victorian child, mixed with the ghost of Jacob Marley. (Yes, I have their permission to share.)

Small note here. I double checked that reference before posting and I’m glad I did because my fuzzy brain had told me I meant the ghost of Bob Cratchit and google was like, “No, that’s Tiny Tim’s dad. You mean Marley” and I was like, “Right. The ghost of Bob Marley. Wait…isn’t it weird that two people in A Christmas Carol have the same first name? Why would Charles Dickens have so many Bobs?” and so I looked that up and google was like, “Have you been taking Hailey’s pain meds? Because it’s Jacob Marley” and then I was like, “That sounds right but I would have sworn there was a Bob Marley. Is this one of those Mandela Effects?” and so I googled Bob Marley and was vindicated for a half of a second until I was reminded that Bob Marley is a reggae singer who I literally own multiple cds of, and that’s when I realized that maybe some of the depression brain fog is actually still hanging on.

BUT…it’s dissipated enough that I laughed out loud at my own stupidity and had the energy to explain it all here and that is a very good sign. For me, that is. Possibly not for you who had to read my ramblings. Sorry.

Fourth, I don’t remember what the fourth thing was.