bizarre – Page 2 – The Bloggess

Let me be frank.

This week I spoke at frank in Florida and it was lovely. Click here to see the glorious magnificence of my hotel room. I highly recommend checking out all of the speeches but if you have 30 minutes and want to see mine you can check it out here. You have to fast-forward to the endContinue reading “Let me be frank.”

You are the best Godzilla ever.

Hello! This is a disjointed post as my is family here for an early Christmas since my dad will be manning his taxidermy shop on actual Christmas. Because nothing says “Happy birthday, Jesus!” like being elbow-deep in a warm deer. I just want to say such an enormous thank you to everyone who asked for or offered help thisContinue reading “You are the best Godzilla ever.”

Your essence is DELICIOUS.

Conversation at an estate sale filled with extremely questionable things: Me: I’m pretty sure I need this doll. Victor: Nope. Nope. Nope. All of my nopes. me: Sir, how much is the doll with no eyeballs? Estate sale guy: It’s $75. me: Seems pricey. But, hang on…does that include all the human souls trapped inside it?Continue reading “Your essence is DELICIOUS.”

Search terms that make me question what’s going on in your life.

Every so often I look at the things people were searching for on the internet that brought them to this blog. Then I shake my head at humanity. Then I copy the least offensive but most baffling searches and share them here with you. Because I’m a giver. What people were searching for on theContinue reading “Search terms that make me question what’s going on in your life.”

I’m insulted in several ways.

I think most cats technically already have great mustaches, but you just can’t tell because we don’t shave the rest of their bodies, and I think that’s probably very sad for them because they can’t show off their dapper kitty facial hair. Or at least, that was the reason that I gave Victor when heContinue reading “I’m insulted in several ways.”

Someone’s gonna need a tetanus shot.

Yesterday we went to a flea market, which is always filled with equal part awesomeness and creepiness and a fair amount of people who maybe shouldn’t be allowed to park their own cars. But my favorite part of the day was when I came across this box being sold by a very sweet older couple:Continue reading “Someone’s gonna need a tetanus shot.”