God I hope this is spam

I don’t even know what to say here

Every month or so I log into google analytics to see what people are searching for when they find my blog. It’s always entertaining, often perplexing and occasionally even terrifying. Here’s a screen shot of the 25th most popular keyword search for this blog: So that’s 89 separate visits of people who found this blogContinue reading “I don’t even know what to say here”

I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care what you do with semen.

I installed Google Analytics on my blog about a year ago and it’s awesome unsettling because it tells you which google searches are bringing people to your blog and you get wonderful disturbing reports like this: Awesome. And what’s even sadder is how many fewer people are searching for Jesus than are searching for some good old elephant p0rn. And evenContinue reading “I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care *what* you do with semen.”

How not to market to pretty much anybody

So I was going through my email and found this spam… …which looks innocent enough until you highlight the body and that’s when I discovered it was actually an invisible, secret code… More specifically? It’s an invisible, secret code calling me an “asshead”. Repeatedly. Awesome. It’s like the Da Vinci Code. Except, way more insulting. And also? Why exactly am I still getting billionsContinue reading “How not to market to pretty much anybody”

I’m more confused than insulted

Oh Tony, you win and I didn’t even know we were having a competition. Worst. spam comment. ever: Comment of the day: What a coincidence! I found your blog the exact same way! The strangest one for my blog was “my puppy has meat hanging out his butt”. I don’t even know what to sayContinue reading “I’m more confused than insulted”

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