I installed Google Analytics on my blog about a year ago and it’s awesome unsettling because it tells you which google searches are bringing people to your blog and you get wonderful disturbing reports like this:
Awesome. And what’s even sadder is how many fewer people are searching for Jesus than are searching for some good old elephant p0rn. And even more disturbing? The actual Jesus searches that led you here.
Jesus-related Google Searches that ended up at The Bloggess:
On a somewhat unrelated note, number of times the word “vagina” was mentioned in yesterday’s post? One hundred and nine. Honestly, it’s hard not to be proud.
Also unrelated and possibly a message from God? This word captcha I just got. Awesome.
Comment of the day: True Story: There is a canadian made movie entitled “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter” where Jesus comes back to fight a) Vampires, b) Lesbian Vampires, and c) a mexican wrestler. ~ Trista
128 thoughts on “I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t care *what* you do with semen.”
Read comments below or add one.
I’m sure Jesus would be ok with me licking you.
Cat’s last blog post..Is It Just Me? Or Was It a Bad Day?
I’m certainly not surprised that you get more people searching for elephant porn than for Jesus. Because it’s unlikely that Jesus would contemplate naming his dog My Vagina, while the elephant porn seekers definitely would. Not that I’m saying that Jesus is humorless, but maybe just a tad bit more mature…
The saying is true! Great minds do think alike!! Not because of the weird “Is Jesus ok with me drinking my husband’s semen” searches but because I just did a post today on searches that bring people to my blog. Weird.
Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Hump Day Humor: Get in Shape
People looking to find Jesus wind up here? Oh, Lord. Think of all the people you’ve corrupted!
Ok CommentLuv didn’t pick up my Analytics post but I swear it’s there. Damn you CommentLuv for making me look like a liar!!
Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Hump Day Humor: Get in Shape
I think the inclusion of Sasquatch into a mentioning of Jesus just adds the right degree of class to the blog.
You said “semen”.
Kurt’s last blog post..On Being a Fancy Gentleman
What kind of people go to Google for “spiritual” counseling? Everyone knows you go to “Yahoo Answers”.DUH!
IB’s last blog post..48 is the New 73
Drinking sperm? Like in a smoothie? Even Jesus has to draw the line somewhere.
Marinka’s last blog post..I’ll Just Sit Here and Look Pretty
Actually, I was searching the term Elephant Prong and was sent here by Google.
Melissa Pierce’s last blog post..Stop Collaborate & Listen, I’m giving Away A Wikinomics Zappos Edition
Say what you will, but I too am interested in the whole “Jesus the Zombie” issue. Maybe he was just a really smart zombie. Anybody think of THAT??
girmonkey’s last blog post..I’m doing this thing!!
Dude, I had no idea Jesus was against faxing cats. And I was just staying late at work yesterday to do just that!
Kristine’s last blog post..Was there a recall on yesterday that I missed?
Inquiring minds want to know.
that girl’s last blog post..Out of the Closet
Wow, I didn’t know Jesus was into so much stuff. Those must be all the lost gospels. If I had known he was that freaky, I might have paid more attention in church.
Jim’s last blog post..The Ride
This was enlightening, Jenny. As always.
Kyla’s last blog post..Sniffy tickles
I’m jealous! I’ll swap my “dry-humping Mormon prophets” for your “Jesus died for Myspace.”
Really you’d be crazy not to accept. Who doesn’t want to be the proud owner of some dry-humping?
Wait…so no one else found this blog by searching for Jesus’ guest appearance in an elephant porn?
I am pretty sure Jesus resurrected himself just so he could die AGAIN when MySpace was created.
Petra’s last blog post..Award From My BFF
True Story: There is a canadian made movie entitled “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter” where Jesus comes back to fight a) Vampires, b) Lesbian Vampires, and c) a mexican wrestler.
Trista’s last blog post..Who Knew Deer Could Be So Cruel
This is why I never look at Google Analytics.
Sprite’s Keeper’s last blog post..Spin Cycle: What if the Spins are coming in?
Jesus said not to fax any cats?
Well, fuck. I was going to fax my whole ad campaign for cat piercing. Because everybody knows cats don’t read teh interwebs.
Keely’s last blog post..10 things I honestly don’t give a crap about
I’m okay with Jesus being anti-catfaxing because frankly those things jam the fax machine up pretty good.
This list certainly makes me feel better about the multiple search hits i’ve gotten from “Billy Mays is a whore” though.
Dani’s last blog post..No officer, i swear i was just trying to take the pants back…
I think that is totally interesting! I might add Google Analytical to mine. I got like 3 readers! But it would be interesting to see what words people search that causes my blog to come up. I got a blog called Panty Attack that I bet gets some hits.
I really need to stop reading your blog while I’m in class.
Angelita’s last blog post..angiewa: I just did my first Criminal Law read. The case was on cannibalism. This class is so going to rock.
The answer to the question of whether Jesus would be OK for a wife drinking her husband’s semen is: well, it depends, if she’s saving it and drinking it in a mug for breakfast, then probably no.
Robin’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Ooh, I think that last search is a typo. There is a lolcat picture called, “Jesus Christ, it’s a lion”.
Wow, I had no idea jesus was so weird. And do people still fax?
I’m surprised you didn’t get any searches about
“jesus kicked me in the vagina”.
Mari’s last blog post..This makes me laugh…
See … I like the fact that people come to you with questions about religion. It makes you sphynx-like. Maybe you really ARE a religion. You know – like a sphynx with a vagina. Hawt.
trannyhead’s last blog post..There’s Nothing Like a Swift Kick in the Kidney to Start Your Day Right
Maybe I should buy http://www.elephantporn.com.
Sher’s last blog post..Blog Envy
Obviously, Jesus Christ is trying to lead your readers to Heaven. Or to your vagina. Which may be the same thing. I wouldn’t know. Because you’ve never given me pie.
I so just added “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter” to my Netflix queue. Sounds like a great date night movie!
feathermaye’s last blog post..Maybe I Should Just Always Write About Porn
I am the Internet’s never-ending source for all things monkey porn related.
Well, personally, I am not a monkey porn expert, though I’ve do watch the Discovery Channel, but my blog apparently is like wikipedia for that crap.
Also, do you think that search should read as “Vampires! JESUS CHRIST!!” or “Vampire Jesus!! CHRIST!”
for a different kind of girl (FADKOG)’s last blog post..a random collection of items with a propensity to suck
I keep getting searches on my blog for “smoking cinnamon sticks gets you high” and “my mom helps me jack off” and “how do I jack off with no hands.”
It always leads them to an entry I wrote about carving pumpkins. Go figure!
Elephant porn!? If I’d only known! Oh…Dumbo… Ew. I felt dirty just typing that.
Captain Dumbass’s last blog post..Untitled
All I know is 1) I didn’t even realize there *was* elephant porn, and 2) I DO NOT WANT TO SEE IT.
Lesley’s last blog post..This Post Has Moses The Cat, Brain-Eating Zombies, My Friend MC And A Ridiculous Amount Of Hats (It Also Has NEXT TO NO POINT AT ALL) (Seriously…There’s No Reason To Even Read This)
Hilarious as usual! I wonder if Jesus really cares about anything we do sometimes? 🙂 He might care more about semen than he would say a vagina since he was/is a man!
I can always count on you for a laugh.
Aruni’s last blog post..Please, Please, Please Vote To Send Me To Tobago
Is Jesus okay with me faxing cats while drinking semen? ‘Cause that could totally happen by accident. I just want to be sure, just in case.
Miss Yvonne’s last blog post..American Idol…..Paula and Kara Showdown
Nobody found your blog looking for “dead hobo finger”?
Um hello, Jesus is totally leading people to you. It’s like you’re the promised land or something. I’m pretty sure this would be pretty significant to the people at your office. Cause, you know, they would get it.
Also, I’m really hoping there is such a thing as a black jesus action figure and when you pull it’s string it yells GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE in a real 1970s black jesus type of way.
And I’m pretty sure that person that was looking for divine confirmation that it’s OK to drink semen was horrified when she landed here.
For my last also of the day, the term “drinking semen” makes me think of milkshakes and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at vanilla milkshakes the same way again. Although I was really just waiting for something to push me over that edge.
So I totally get how you wound up with the Jesus Sasquatch search… and even the semen swallowing one; I mean, it totally sounds like a search you’d perform on your 15 minute break, for fun… but ummm Jesus said don’t fax any cats? The net is the real, and scary, Twilight Zone, isn’t it? And capchat calling you a whoretwat was just mean… Jesus isn’t happy with the fact that his father laughs his ass off reading your blog, huh?
Aria’z Ink’s last blog post..Florence, and I Don’t Mean Italy
I dunno…I’m about 98% sure that Jesus would have to be considered a zombie (instead of brains, he craves souls – maybe it’s some kind of zombie diet. No brains for me today, thanks, I’m watching my figure.)
Kate’s last blog post..How To Go To A Doctor’s Appointment Without Looking Like A Douschebag In 6 Easy Steps:
Hmm, I really have nothing to say to this post.
So this comment does not exist. It’s like a ninja.
Kylie’s last blog post..A Young, Female Gulliver
I’m kind of surprised by these search results, because I have always thought your blog contained an alarmingly small amount of elephant porn.
I also wonder if they’re looking for a painting that depicts Jesus as a Sasquatch, or if they’re more interested in seeing Jesus just kind of standing beside a Sasquatch. Either way … AWESOME!
Momma Trish’s last blog post..Who do you love?
You think that captcha is weird? Look what I once got http://www.flickr.com/photos/rhirhi/2806373061/
!!!!
Rhi’s last blog post..My Blog, My Rules
The Gospel According to John Cleese tells us that Jesus does indeed care what we do with our semen.
And Elephant Porn makes my bottom hurt.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..Double Whammy
was this a real post? What would Jesus do? Read the Bloggess everyday for guidance, what else?
I told my Queen about your post about BJ/My Vagina. We spent hours and hours coming up with MyVagina jokes. Like her favorite, …my vagina likes to hang out the window and drool when I drive.
Thanks to the Bloggess, my wife and I had an evening of quality time. Of course, when the kiddies were around we would just say, “My (pause) likes to chew on the legs of the table” (x 10 bazillion udder jokes)
reeky’s last blog post..Commission is Completed
this is why I never look at that crap and why I changed my post about my neighbors who where wrestling in the street with nothing on but t h o n g s. It’s a total mind fuck.
Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..5 Days and Counting
In all honesty, I did write about an elephant porn post years ago but it was about how much he HATED porn. Those people were probably very disappointed.
Well I for one am glad that the confused lost souls out there have a safe haven of Bloggess land to come to with all of their Jesus zombie squirrel type google quests.
Saint Jenny to the rescue!
Summer’s last blog post..Dating Like A Man
Of course you realize you’ve just exacerbated the problem by throwing “Jesus” and “semen” into your blog post title. So…have fun with THAT.
Margaret (Nanny Goats)’s last blog post..Honky Without the Tonk
Well your elephant porn & Jesus inquiries surely beat the “Does LeeAnn Womack smell?” inquiries that lead people to my blog.
Domestic extraordinaire’s last blog post..It’s Tuesday again!
Hey……why ISN’T Jesus a zombie? I’m going to go Google that right now.
Swistle’s last blog post..Do-Over!
I totally have to get Google Analytics.
I have a friend writing a novel in which Jesus is a vampire. It actually fits surprisingly well with general vampire mythology.
Cynical Nymph’s last blog post..Mercury Retrograde: Communicative Swan-Dive Off The High Board
elephant porn is what killed houdini you know
furiousBall’s last blog post..energy conversion
I definitely come to this blog for all things Jesus. Without a doubt.
the mama bird diaries’s last blog post..yup, we’re no longer virgins
There’s this place in my heart that just gets warm every time I read a new Bloggess post. It’s really a beautiful thing.
jesus.christ.IS.a.lion.
Miss Grace’s last blog post..The DMV totally steals babies and resells them as midget slaves.
Zombie Jesus got a few hits to my site too. I still haven’t quite figured out why.
I think Jesus should turn all semen into wine. There is no part of that that wouldn’t be awesome.
Hugs
Anna xxx
Anna Russell’s last blog post..Things To Do When You Can’t Sleep
I keep getting people searching for Resident Evil Sex Therapist.
Does that have anything to do with zombie porn?
Betsey Booms’s last blog post..Reviewing My Performance and Other Things That Will Get Me Fired
I’m pretty sure our Jesus are friends. My Jesus is an action figure we hide in various places in the house and then yell “BOO” when someone mentions masturbating or, conversely, comes to “save” us.
On another unrelated note, I once dated a man with the last name Seaman. He was churchy. Also, ironically, a virgin.
(What the fuck is the plural of Jesus? Jesus’? Jesuses? Thy Holy Svaiors? Jesus. Christ.)
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..On Resolutions
um…even though I’ve completed the 12 step process to post-evangelicalness…my old ways are kind of scaring me into thinking that I may just possibly be struck down for interacting the people whose google searches led them here…..”Jesus who’s fingernails and hair grows…” I don’t wanna know….wait…I actually, kind of do.
Off to google weird Jesus things and see if they lead to your blog! I’ll keep you posted!
Jessica’s last blog post..Shuttle Train
Your blog has led me into a whole new world, and I’m a bit confused but I think I like it.
Daphne’s last blog post..My Mother Joins Something
Your Jesus sounds like my kind of guy.
I read somewhere that Jesus also recently installed Google Analytics to see what brought people to him.
Turns out the phrase “That Jenny Bloggess girl is fucking hilarious. Am I going to hell now?” is the 7th most popular search. Right between “Is Carrot Top the AntiChrist?” and “I sent George W. Bush a rabid gerbil as a going away present. Is that a sin?”
i’m sure it would be considered sacrilege, but i can’t help but wonder how you manage to get jesus AND your vagina into one post.
and please note, i know how to spell sacrilege. yes, you can kiss my ring now.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Stupid is as stupid does
I’m sorry, I can’t stop it.
“How much would it cost to get My Vagina dipped for fleas?”
The Catholic Church would likely disagree with you on Jesus’ concern for your (well, not your) semen. But I don’t think it’s in the Bible, it might have been the Council of Trent, or maybe the First Council of Nicaea. If I had to put money on it, I’d guess the Second Council of the Lateran. You know someone out there knows when they got together to discuss Jesus’ stance on semen.
Semen has mind control properties, did you know that? My husband told me about it and I totally believe him and actually find it alluring.
Thanks for your vote by the way though I am still getting my sorry ass kicked.
Oh, and totally a heavenly sign from the Great One.
annie’s last blog post..Midori by Moonlight – Wendy Nelson Tokunaga
This is actually my favorite periodic feature on my blog: our roughly monthly review of the search logs. These are a few of my favorite searches:
forcibly sodomized man: Worst. Superhero. Ever.
“Is my man gay because he prefers doggystyle?” Depends. Does he say “Oh, Heath!” while he’s doing it?
scientology own the police! oh s**t! [sic] Wow.
mutant dicks: Yeah, they can be kind of obnoxious. Burning this, twisted limbs that, wah wah everyone recoils from me. Shut up!
Ken’s last blog post..MontalBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!
For years one of the most common google searches that ended up on my site was “olsen twins feet”. It disturbed me greatly. I don’t remember what I had blogged about that matched that but I’m fairly confident that it had nothing to do with what people searching for “olsen twins feet” were searching for. I’m not sure if it’ll be as effective anymore (you’ll find out soon enough), now that they’ve gone from pedophile fetish objects to post-pubescent drug addled has-beens.
This post is more twisted than Pee Wee Herman. So are your searchers.
Father Muskrat’s last blog post..a conversation with winnie the dog
Fuckin’ A that word captcha is awesome.
I get loads of image searches related to big uteruses (uteri?). I didn’t realize there were so many women with that problem.
The bible says it’s wrong to spill the seed. So if she doesn’t let any dribble down her chin, she should be ok.
phd in yogurtry’s last blog post..d.i.v.o.r.c.e.
OMG, I love the search phrases. And I bet you get the best ones. obviously.
Rhea’s last blog post..Hobo Code
Oh, wait! IS there a black Jesus action figure? Next time I think you should provide actual helpful links to the searches.
hoortuat Nice! That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. hee hee
Jen @ Mommay’s Mayhem’s last blog post..Bedtime is my nightmare!
One time I blogged about a beauty contest for Catholic nuns so Google Analytics kept showing me all these searches about naughty nuns that lead to my site. Well, then I posted about the searches and now I am getting things like, “Nuns Who Eat Snatch.” Really, who wants to watch nuns eat snatch?
“Why is Jesus not a zombie”
He is, the question is, Why does Jesus not crave the brains?
Or perhaps he did and they decided that it was best not mentioned in the story…
Brandy’s last blog post..Its My Turn To Rule The World! Saweeeet!
This blog rocks! Can’t stop chuckling…
[F]oxymoron’s last blog post..Folks, It Is A Cow Jam
Almost none of the searches for my site are Jesus related. Actually, the only one I could find was Lucille Lopez Jesus towel. Most of the searches involve Rene Magritte, for some reason.
Steve’s last blog post..Chocolate Fudge Pop Tart Bacon Sandwich
Mine are much more respectable:
-how does an endoskeleton benefit a meerkat
-i think i was drugged with a small pink pill at a party
-dreaming of stabbing a dog in the face
-ww.dog porn.it
A Free Man’s last blog post..Every single one of them named Jennifer
Damn it!!! I have been up and down this site and I still can’t find the elephant porn. Can someone help me out already??
This blog is like a Google search scavenger hunt for stuff I had no idea existed like tentacle sex. Please tell me elephant porn isn’t like tentacle sex.
Dear Baby Jesus, I promise not to fax any cats. Amen.
You know, typing p0rn or pron brings more freakshow searches than just plain old porn.
Seems the freaks are on to us. Or us. Or whatever.
On a totally unrealated note, do you know anyone in China? Cause I wanna know if our blogs and their subject mattery thingies are banned there. Cause that would be totally awesome.
Kelley’s last blog post..At least I am not as stupid as her. I know what an Ewok is. I had one stuck to my shoe the other day.
Seriously, if Jesus isn’t upset by you sticking his penis IN your mouth, I’m sure he doesn’t care if you swallow. I’m sure he’d appreciate the courteous lack of mess.
Anissa@hope4peyton’s last blog post..Should I cut her ear off NOW?
Oh, when I saw the header for today’s post, I thought you were referring to this:
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/strangest-new-food-concept-cooking-with-semen-347495/
Disappointed to learn … not.
i’m moving “vampire jesus christ” to the top of my netflix queue now that i’m done watching “monster truck moses.”
And I thought God didn’t make people who cared about the morality of blowjobs anymore . . .
ps: thanks for the commentluv.
Cynthia Lindeman’s last blog post..What Your Mom Should’ve Taught You: 4 Ways a Jerk Will Hook You
You have kicked off my weekend with just the right touch — I think. Thank you?
Cathy’s last blog post..Scarves
analytics is awesome. i get lots of porn and weirdo searches too. except i pretty much almost never talk about that stuff. so they people who click on me are probably crazy disappointed.
MommyNamedApril’s last blog post..Just In Case You Were Wondering…
Reading your blog made me realize I really do not use the word Vagina enough or Jesus or Vagina and Jesus in the same sentence. Oddly enough we talk about Elephant Porn every day at work, lol.
Jenn’s last blog post..I Have No Boogers
I’m always amazed by the searches that bring people to my blog but the most frequent one is a Google Images search of a picture of a Rolls Royce that I “borrowed” from their website last year. Who even knew Rolls Royce was that popular any more? It’s astonishing really.
kendall’s last blog post..More Karaoke News–New Save the Date
When Barnaby Jones {ie my vagina} has puppies you have to name one of them “douche”.
Paida’s last blog post..Even Iowa Has Total Nutjobs
Jesus was all.. “drink my blood and eat my flesh for everlasting life”…I am sure he would be okay with a little semen.
For that matter I think it should be part of the wedding vows. to love, honor, cherish, swallow.
William’s last blog post..Best Ever
Faxing cats. Faxed cats. Fax a cat.
The mind boggles.
magpie’s last blog post..Fierce
How many angels can dance in an elephant’s vagina?
You are being featured on Five Star Friday! http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/01/five-star-friday-edition-37.html
OMG. Your word capture just had me in TEARS!
Carrie’s last blog post..PUKEFEST 2.0
I think Jesus is more concerned with what you *dont* do with semen…I mean how awesome would that be if semen was the cure for, like, broken puppies, and here we are drinking it… If I were Jesus I would be pretty pissed.
I’ve always wondered: What Would Jesus Google? Assuming of course those weren’t some of his searchers that led to your blog.
T.M. Lindsey’s last blog post..Chasing the American Dream: Winning a “Late Show with David Letterman” T-Shirt (part 1)
Love your blog. So glad my search for “Jesus cat ate my semen” led me here.
As a newbie I must ask. Is there any reason why your post are so damn small that they can only be read 4″ from the screen, but everyone’s comments are large enough to be read across the street?
that’s weird. It looks fine in my browser. Anyone else seeing it like that? I’m the last person in the world still on Internet explorer so maybe it’s me.
I don’t know what I find more disturbing, that there are over 60,000 hits for jesus sasquatch painting or that yours are the top two.
Steve’s last blog post..Perspective
I want to be just like you when I grow up
coffeejitters (Judy Haley)’s last blog post..Crossing the 520 Floating Bridge on a Windy Day
Jenny, it doesn’t matter what God or Jesus think of all this, because you’re taking care of My Vagina, and that’s what really counts in the end.
LiteralDan’s last blog post..Macaroni-and-Death in the Garden of Good and Edam
Guess what Jenny! I just did a search for “Jesus Come My Vagina” and guess who’s blog came up numero uno!? Yours did, sister. It has to mean something. Like maybe you will immaculately conceive the next Messiah. Only more people will listen to the Messiah this time. Cause it will be a girl. And she’ll be really funny. Is your daughter displaying any Messiah-like traits yet?
PS Keep your Pug away from any Lab gangs. I’m pretty sure they swing both ways. And with those sexy dreidel earrings and tats, he’s dogmeat.
Queen B’s last blog post..Too Bad Locks of Love Doesn’t Collect Body Hair
Is it me or is Kate Hudson really flat chested… Like borderline boy flat chested which is off topic from all the elephant porn and Jesus vaginas but I was just sitting here and thinking about it since I was watching The Soup and they were showing her bikini picture. Yeah, so what was I saying?
Gretchen’s last blog post..Random Thoughts…
NO! Someone DID NOT ask if Jesus was OK with her drinking her husband’s semen. That is just CRAZY!! Why would someone even care about that if they are already doing it?? FUNNY!
Shoegirl’s last blog post..The Year in Review- Blog Entries
Yeah I get some pretty off the wall search results too.
Oh…and the word verification? Awesome!
Mad Woman’s last blog post..Remarkable Powers of Restraint
“that’s weird. It looks fine in my browser. Anyone else seeing it like that?”
I’m using Firefox on Ubuntu and it looks OK to me.
Steve’s last blog post..Perspective
O-M-G hon, thank you SO much for a morning funny! I’ve got to download that bad boy and see what kind of crazy shit is leading people to me…probably nuttin but hey, a girl’s gotta get her kicks somehow!
Kim’s last blog post..Yes! Put One Up for the Good Guys!
“Jesus died for myspace.”
I expect tomorrow I’ll see that on a bumper sticker.
Stacey’s last blog post..Assorted Randomness
When I asked Jesus what he thought of that issue he said, “Only if he asks you first.”
Kim @ Ponytaildiaries.com’s last blog post..Time well wasted?
DUHhhhhh . . . isn’t “Get That Shit Out Of Here, Black Jesus Action Figure” a fair synopsis of most of your postings…?
I mean, stating the obvious.
All that semen drinking is just besides the point . . .
Just a note to tell you I’m not no stinkin’ robot.
🙂
Vodkamom’s last blog post..Pass me that shotgun over there….
wait, that did not sound as funny on paper as it was in my head.
Vodkamom’s last blog post..Pass me that shotgun over there….
From now on, every post you write should have Jesus in the title:
“Named my New Dog Jesus”,
“Jesus Smells Like Fish”,
“I Found Jesus at Chipotle”…
slag’s last blog post..Not "If." But "How?": Dispensing Karmic Justice in the Age of Obama
Someone just landed on my blog with an image search for velociraptor nazi.
Steve’s last blog post..Perspective
I am going to be honest. I purposely take the most pervy words from all your post and immediately google them after reading said post so it will come up in your analytics and make you feel like a total pervert…..
Why, you ask? Misery loves company 🙁
Angelita’s last blog post..angiewa: OMG! He just bit me and it hurt like hell. Undoubtedly robot teeth.
Would you call an Elephant that stared in a porn movie “My BIG Vagina”?
I’m not even gonna ask if Jesus would watch it…
Is it worse to be followed by a crowd of zombies or a bunch of robots?
So, I’m new to your blog, and I’m reading through the archives while playing an MMO, and I was on vent, which is a program that lets you talk to other, similarly nerdy people over the internet to coordinate your strategies of how to kill things that are not even real but we fight them to validate our pasty, couch-sitting souls, and I totally started laughing so hard I cried and couldn’t see the screen and couldn’t hear my headset and I made us all die to like a rabbit. Thanks, The Bloggess. Thanks for ruining my cybercareer.
(P.S. nothing is ruined and I love your blog)
I’ll never admit to myself, or anone else, that I visit this blog, you’re crazy, in an
off-the-wall, very funny, way.
Hello,
I was wondering if you could tell me how to install the google analytics (spelling?) on my blog. If you would be so kind as to email me on how to do it, I’d be grateful to you!
Peace!
Lea’s last blog post..And almost better!
The word capture is AWESOME.
amy @ milk breath and margaritas’s last blog post..Computer Cookies