Good Mom/Bad Mom…why aren’t you reading it now?

WOLVERINES!

This morning I wrote a post for the Chronicle about Wolverine blow-jobs and then right after that I twittered: “You know what would be awesome? If for no reason at all we all just randomly screamed “WOLVERINES!” once today. That would be awesome.” And then suddenly eleventy billion people tweeted back “WOLVERINES!!!!!” And it wasContinue reading “WOLVERINES!”

UPDATED: Tell me a cat wearing a sandwich board wouldn’t be entertaining. You can’t.

I was going to post this post over here, but I couldn’t because I think it’s against my blogher ad contract so instead I posted it on the Chronicle, but I had to delete all the curse words because it goes against the Chronicle’s terms of service. Also, my font is too small here and I can’t fixContinue reading “UPDATED: Tell me a cat wearing a sandwich board wouldn’t be entertaining. You can’t.”

FatSuck 2008!

So this week I got my fat sucked out of me. For real. It’s totally as disgusting as it sounds and you should go and read it now because I’m not sure I can actually call someone a bitch on the Houston Chronicle so this might be my last post there ever. I’m reasonably sureContinue reading “FatSuck 2008!”

I'm famous(ly stupid)

So my friends Jason and (his special lady) Tiffany are throwing a Houston Big Lebowski Bash on Saturday and Jason put this call out on his blog: Fellow Achievers, Fox news would like to do story on us and our party live in their studio. So if you have a Lebowski theme costume and would like to be onContinue reading “I'm famous(ly stupid)”

50 things is 49 to many

My friend Arianne said I should write 50 things I like about myself to make myself feel better about having just been totally dissed by all of my friends and several construction workers who just saw me naked which would possibly be really easy to do if I hadn’t just been dissed by all of my friendsContinue reading “50 things is 49 to many”

Crap on a crap cracker

A word of advice from me to you: Don’t upgrade your wordpress blog to the new version because you won’t be able to upload pictures and you’ll get VD and the world will explode. I’m not certain about the last two but definitely the first. So while technical support (Victor and some autobots who are tryingContinue reading “Crap on a crap cracker”