UPDATED! An open letter to the King of Germany who might actually only be a Prince. I didn’t really research it. But we’re at war now so you’ll probably hear about it on the news.

Dear Mr. King of Germany: It has been brought to my attention that your daughter is either impersonating me or mocking me in her royal portrait.  Exhibit A: I’ve been rockin’ this look for years so I can only assume this is an act of aggression on her part.  That’s why this morning I declaredContinue reading “UPDATED! An open letter to the King of Germany who might actually only be a Prince. I didn’t really research it. But we’re at war now so you’ll probably hear about it on the news.”

I. Quit.

Warning:  This is a real, not-very-funny and slightly angsty post.  If you want to skip it and read FMyLife instead I understand completely.  You asshole. So something happened recently that I haven’t posted about because honestly it scares the shit out of me to say it out loud. I was talking to my friend Erica about how writing isContinue reading “I. Quit.”

%d bloggers like this: