Category Archives: Marketing gone bad

UPDATED: SHOCKING PICTURES OF LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS HOLDING WATER.

This week I was flooded with uncomfortably awkward blog pitches.  Most were robotic form-letters attempting to get a product mentioned in exchange for a high-res photo of something that no one would ever want a high-res photo of.  For instance, an hour ago I got an email from a pr chick (named Bridget) asking ifContinue reading “UPDATED: SHOCKING PICTURES OF LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS HOLDING WATER.”

And then they asked if I’d like to interview Santa Claus. That happened.

A few days ago a PR agency asked if I’d like to do a live video interview with Santa and was like “You have obviously never read me. OF COURSE I’LL DO A LIVE, UNSCRIPTED INTERVIEW WITH SANTA CLAUS WHERE I CAN ASK HIM ANYTHING WITH NO REPERCUSSIONS” and then I felt a little badContinue reading “And then they asked if I’d like to interview Santa Claus. That happened.”

UPDATED: That last one was a bluff so it’s probably good that they passed. I can’t even keep a dog alive, much less a sasquatch.

Paraphrased email between me and a marketer.  The sad thing is that this is only slightly paraphrased: Them: We would like to buy a text ad on your blog. me: Ok. It’s $75. Them: We will write a guest post on your blog with 4 embedded links to our product. We will give you $15.Continue reading “UPDATED: That last one was a bluff so it’s probably good that they passed. I can’t even keep a dog alive, much less a sasquatch.”

It’s possible that Misty is just fucking with me, but I really doubt it.

Wow. I could not even make this shit up y’all. You know how whenever I get a particularly terrible form-letter PR pitch I fuck with the marketer for as long as possible because I’m a terrible person and it’s entertaining to me?  Well, I do.   90% of the time I never get a responseContinue reading “It’s possible that Misty is just fucking with me, but I really doubt it.”

*sigh*

My travails with marketers have been widely documented but sometimes they really outdo themselves. Email I recieved today: I did, of course, respond. Otherwise, how will they learn?

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