more than meets the eye – Page 4

I’m struggling.

So many of you have reached out because you’ve noticed I’ve gone missing for a week on social media and that’s never happened before. I’m so sorry I worried you. This week has been the hardest of my entire life. I’ve struggled with what to say because I don’t know what to say. I amContinue reading “I’m struggling.”

My amazing daughter. Alternate title: I don’t think you’ll have a problem with this at all but if you do you can fuck all the way off.

A few years ago when Hailey was 12 she announced that she had something to tell me over breakfast. “I’m gay.” I responded with “Okay. But could you hand me the syrup?” I suspect she was disappointed in my reaction because it was scary for her to say out loud but it didn’t really affectContinue reading “My amazing daughter. Alternate title: I don’t think you’ll have a problem with this at all but if you do you can fuck all the way off.”

Is this how it’s supposed to be?

Happiness. Every day I have it drilled in my head…figuratively. And now sort of literally. My 15th session of transcranial magnetic stimulation was yesterday. My 16th, 17th, 18th and 19th this week. Another 20 lay ahead. They still hurt a little, the magnets drilling and tapping so loudly I have to wear earplugs. MyContinue reading “Is this how it’s supposed to be?”

22 years ago today…

It’s like trepanation but not at all.

So. Yesterday I started rTMS (repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) and if you’re confused then you missed my post explaining it and you need to go back and read it. I am currently in a depression so my head isn’t working perfectly but if I don’t write it down I’ll forget so let’s do this. FirstContinue reading “It’s like trepanation but not at all.”

I don’t even know how to spell the thing that I’m going to do to myself but I still feel good about it so don’t freak me out, okay?

So if you read here you already know that I deal with a host of mental issues and you can probably tell that it’s gotten a bit worse lately and that sucks. I go to sleep not knowing if I’ll wake up depressed or “normal” and when I do feel normal I’m so damn jealousContinue reading “I don’t even know how to spell the thing that I’m going to do to myself but I still feel good about it so don’t freak me out, okay?”