terrible titles – The Bloggess

Just tell me I don’t have Frankenstein.

Today Victor and I were driving home and I said, “The other day I saw an iguana sunning himself on our neighbors fence” and Victor looked at me like I was crazy but I know what I saw. And when we turned it I was like, “THERE IT FUCKING IS! DO YOU NOT SEE THATContinue reading “Just tell me I don’t have Frankenstein.”

UPDATED: Don’t let my hands falling off be in vain.

This isn’t a real post. It’s just a quick update. Last week I looked at my list of people who’d signed up for one of the free 5,000 bookplates I’d autographed and I found out that there were actually 6,000 people signed up. Then I sighed deeply and called my publisher and asked if theyContinue reading “UPDATED: Don’t let my hands falling off be in vain.”

This isn’t a real post. It’s just something cool I liked.

Many years ago, my friend (Rachael) painted a portrait of my pug, Barnaby Jones Pickles. Several years later he was killed by a rattlesnake, but I’m pretty sure those two things are unrelated. At least, I hope they are, because Rachael’s now doing Day of the Dead art and she just surprised me with myContinue reading “This isn’t a real post. It’s just something cool I liked.”

Victor ruins everything and also probably hates America

Conversation I had with Victor after I decided we needed to start having game night… me: I’m signing us up for sign language classes so we’ll be really good at charades on game night. Victor: First off, I don’t do “game night”. Secondly, that’s not how charades works. me: I’m pretty sure it is, butContinue reading “Victor ruins everything and also probably hates America”

I can’t think of a proper title for this.

I’m two weeks behind on the wrap-up again because I suck. But I have a good reason because Victor’s still dealing with his broken arm (see: “Man Cold” X 80 billion). He’s having a plate put in it next week, which is nice because that means that he’ll have to be frisked through every airportContinue reading “I can’t think of a proper title for this.”

UPDATED: SHOCKING PICTURES OF LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS HOLDING WATER.

This week I was flooded with uncomfortably awkward blog pitches. Most were robotic form-letters attempting to get a product mentioned in exchange for a high-res photo of something that no one would ever want a high-res photo of. For instance, an hour ago I got an email from a pr chick (named Bridget) asking ifContinue reading “UPDATED: SHOCKING PICTURES OF LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS HOLDING WATER.”