I just got an email letting me know that some twitter analysis website had named me the number one trendsetter in the category of “I THREATENED TO CUT HER“. Which is odd because I’m the only person listed in this entire category. I’m pretty sure that’s not how trends work. Updated: Oh, hang on. They’veContinue reading “I THREATENED TO CUT HER: The exciting new trend no one is talking about.”
Category Archives: terrible titles
UPDATED: Cats eat babies. Apparently.
I was just on the phone with my friend Karen and I was in the middle of (unsuccessfully) convincing her about the importance of guns on roadtrips and then I heard that hurk-hurk noise of a cat throwing up so I ran over to scootch Posey toward the tile and the vomit was all glitteryContinue reading “UPDATED: Cats eat babies. Apparently.”
Unimportant trivia: Padma was once married to the guy who wrote “The Satanic Verses” (which I always refer to as “The Vampire Diaries” because I’m bad with titles).
Part 1 and part 2 of my Blogher summary are done. Part 3 starts now: I was asked to do a cooking competition at Blogher and I would have said no except that they said that I could create whatever I wanted and that the judge would be Padma from Top Chef so of courseContinue reading “Unimportant trivia: Padma was once married to the guy who wrote “The Satanic Verses” (which I always refer to as “The Vampire Diaries” because I’m bad with titles).”
I don’t have a good title for this.
Facebook just told me that I needed to “reconnect” with my husband. And then they showed me a picture of him just in case I wasn’t sure who he was. Way to make me question my marriage, Facebook. ***************** It’s Sunday so that means it’s time for the weekly wrap-up of shit-I-was-doing-when-I-wasn’t-here comforting my dishwasherContinue reading “I don’t have a good title for this.”
Netflix thinks I’m a religious psychopath
So last week Victor installed Netflix on our Wii and I don’t understand how that works so I just stared at him blankly when he tried to explain it and the entire time I’m like “You are wasting money” but he did it anyway and now I can’t stop watching movies about serial killers. AndContinue reading “Netflix thinks I’m a religious psychopath”
It only took me ten years to become an overnight success. And I’m using the term “overnight success” loosely. And incorrectly. Can you be an overnight success if you plan for it to happen two years from now? Sorry. I’m not great with words.
So. I sold my book. “What book?” you may be asking. You have not been paying attention. Or possibly I haven’t mentioned it. I’m bad with details. Short story? I started a book 10 years ago as a love letter to my completely fucked-up family. It’s a mostly-true memoir called “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”Continue reading “It only took me ten years to become an overnight success. And I’m using the term “overnight success” loosely. And incorrectly. Can you be an overnight success if you plan for it to happen two years from now? Sorry. I’m not great with words.”