wow that’s good to know

So where do we go from here?

This post peppered with medicinal kittens because smarter people are writing better things so I’m doing this instead. This was a lot of us the night of the election: If you’re like me you’ve been spending the last days feeling helpless and uncertain what to do. Some things are easy, like donating to causes that you feelContinue reading “So where do we go from here?”

“Simmer down now” ~ Back-up Buddy Bobcat

Conversation at the thrift store: me: Dude. I think I might need that stuffed bobcat. Victor: Just keep walking. me: Look at his paw. It’s like he’s saying, “YOU GUYS? TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH, OK? JUST SIMMER DOWN.” Victor: Hm. me: We could carry him around in the trunk and you could pull him out toContinue reading ““Simmer down now” ~ Back-up Buddy Bobcat”

Your zombie armor has some serious design flaws.

My friend Shauna sent me a link to this: It’s basically a nightstand that doubles as a shield and bat for fighting zombies. And it will totally fucking get you killed. I mean, I applaud the concept but as soon as you pull out the bat you’re left with a giant exposed nail sticking outContinue reading “Your zombie armor has some serious design flaws.”

Men don’t understand science.

This was supposed to be a post about how awesome towels are but then my cat Rolly fucked it all up. I was going to share my discovery about how if you wrap your hair up in a tight towel-turban when you’re upside down after a shower it pulls your face-skin back so it’s all tautContinue reading “Men don’t understand science.”

My biggest qualification for writing an advice column is the fact that someone gave me an advice column.

Holy crap, y’all. I have my first real writing gig. Writing an advice column. That just happened. It’s for this company called PNN and I think it’s like CNN for chicks. I’m afraid to ask what the P stands for. All I know is that in spite of many, many emails letting them know what a horrible mistake theyContinue reading “My biggest qualification for writing an advice column is the fact that someone gave me an advice column.”

Saving the world is hard, y’all

I know this might come as a shock to some of you but last night I had a revelation and it will change the way I write. I was outside contemplating the sunset when I realized the pure perfection of the world and my place in it. That’s why starting today I will no longer be usingContinue reading “Saving the world is hard, y’all”