Why yes, actually, I do turn everything to shit.

August 10, 2011

I’m a little addicted to pinterest, but I find myself even more addicted to taking the sweet posters that are pinned there and horribly fucking with them. It probably says something very unflattering about my personality.

Case in point, the very first poster I found on pinterest. And the two others I made to go with it.

I have a problem. I realize that.

(The first poster was unsourced.  If you know who made it let me know and I'll credit them.)

Ps. I’m still in Alaska and spent the day watching whales. Then I was attacked by a bear on a cruiseship. I’d write more but I keep losing my internet connection. Probably from all the blood on this laptop.

More soon…probably.

{ 162 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kez August 10, 2011 at 3:00 am: Hahahaha. Those cheesy posters deserve it.
Kez recently posted..Modern Day Etiquette: What advice would YOU give?
2 Guineapigdude August 10, 2011 at 3:04 am: more blood on the laptop, or posts?
Also, i have relatives in Alaska, its really nice, try out the Alaska sea life center, they have a bunch of awesome exhibits. heres the link http://www.alaskasealife.org/New/visitors/index.php?page=firstpage.php to the website, can’t remember where it was though, it was a long drive from anchorage.

And yes, i actually have been there, there is also the saturday sunday sale in anchorage.
http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/North_America/United_States_of_America/Alaska/Anchorage-737634/Things_To_Do-Anchorage-Saturday_Market-BR-1.html
you can even get reindeer hotdogs!
3 HNtG August 10, 2011 at 3:08 am: Why would you let a bear attack you on a cruise ship? I mean, if you stumbled upon it in the bathroom, I could understand. Bears are very territorial, and we all know bathrooms are like honey to bears… Okay I think I got off my point. Anyway, pro tip: don’t let bears attack you on a cruise ship. There’s plenty of time for that in Alaska. Booze+bleeding=bad.
HNtG recently posted..Taken the Rift to Telara: Levels 1-20
4 HNtG August 10, 2011 at 3:18 am: Wait… Maybe we need to hear the whole story. Were you attacked by a bear on your own cruise ship, or were you attacked by a rival cruise ship captained by a bear? Because, I could totally see how that wasn’t your fault.
HNtG recently posted..Taken the Rift to Telara: Levels 1-20
5 Guineapigdude August 10, 2011 at 3:24 am: did you fend off the bear with you’r laptop?
6 Brenda August 10, 2011 at 3:27 am: I remember once seeing this cute little poster that had a picture of a flower with the text, “If friends were flowers, I’d pick you.” I immediately thought, “But you KILL flowers when you pick them!”‘

I definitely like the way you think.
7 craig @09thehippy August 10, 2011 at 3:45 am: Probably best to stay in Alaska for a while. Texas is in the grip of a heat wave and the economy has collapsed. Also Lisa Galaviz lost her mind for a bit during some sort of existential crisis about the universe or something. Whoremonger is offering her support.
8 Gigi August 10, 2011 at 3:47 am: Somehow, I’m not surprised.
Gigi recently posted..Mulling over office politics…..and sucking you into it, by default
9 Veronica August 10, 2011 at 3:57 am: Being attacked by a bear sounds bad.
Veronica recently posted..Huh, would seem that the Jordan River is a little flooded
10 @OutofGoldStars August 10, 2011 at 4:02 am: I think I would like a set to hang in my bedroom. nothing says romanace like a little verbal slap.

also, how many times have people told you, don’t steal the baby bear from the mama bear. I know you like to collect interesting animals and all, but jeez. maybe copernicus needs to step in and *hug* someone.
@OutofGoldStars recently posted..this is a poop post
11 Lynn from For Love or Funny August 10, 2011 at 4:18 am: I bet that bear was just trying to get away from all those whales.
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..Time to panic, because I haven’t found a Martian yet.
12 LadyV August 10, 2011 at 4:32 am: Not so much to The Bloggess, but wonderful and mysterious craig@09thehippy…. what? Now I have to google supportive whoremonger and that’s not exactly going to fancy up my internet history. Plus I probably won’t find it at all. Why do you not have links to something?
LadyV recently posted..Maniacally rubbing my kitchen counters
13 Astragali August 10, 2011 at 4:46 am: LadyV, given that I don’t personally care about my own browsing history, I chose to take the bullet for you.

Perhaps this link might be a good starting point: http://twitter.com/#!/lgalaviz/status/84265747047649280
14 Doug August 10, 2011 at 5:26 am: I can’t wait to find out how the bear ends up being the center of a disagreement with Victor…
15 Stephanie Smirnov August 10, 2011 at 5:35 am: Hoping you vanquish the bear and that there’s a shipboard taxidermist around — like Doc, except with sawdust. What an addition to your collection a bear would be.
Stephanie Smirnov recently posted..Matryoshka Monday: “Russian Dolls” Edition
16 craig @09thehippy August 10, 2011 at 5:35 am: @ LadyV
Hahaha. Sorry to mess with your internet history. You know that is how Santa checks to see if you have been naughty or nice. You can find both @Lgalaviz and @Whoremongers on twitter. And probably Santa. He is very 2.0 that way.
17 Tiffany August 10, 2011 at 5:36 am: Need this as my profile picture.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany
Tiffany recently posted..I Joined A Cult
18 Denise August 10, 2011 at 5:38 am: You have the most awesome evil mind in the world. I bow down to your evilness.
Denise recently posted..Sunday Random Round-Up
19 LeeAnn August 10, 2011 at 5:51 am: And be careful of the “attack moose” which are well known in Alaska. Once they smell the blood from the bear attack…..well, it’s only a matter of time.
20 rachel August 10, 2011 at 5:56 am: Pinterest is another way judge your friends tastes…. I love it!
21 If I Were God... August 10, 2011 at 6:11 am: Are you sure it was a bear? There’s a lot of fat, smelly, hairy passengers on cruise ships ya know.
If I Were God… recently posted..Apparently "best of wife spanks husband" LEADS TO ME
22 katiekates August 10, 2011 at 6:17 am: I wanted to take the poster with the runner saying “you will regret eating that cookie you will not regret running that mile” and photoshop some zombies in the background. I think that would really send a better message home.
23 carolyn August 10, 2011 at 6:20 am: Love the poster series. I’d like to order them for my husband’s office. He is a Certified Financial Planner. I’m his alcoholic trophy wife with fake boobs.

Not all of that is true, but it makes it sound a lot more interesting, doesn’t it?

And aren’t you glad it wasn’t a chupacabra? I bet they carry germs. And rabies. Good thing it was only a bear.
24 carolyn August 10, 2011 at 6:21 am: Love the poster series. I’d like to order them for my husband’s office. He is a Certified Financial Planner. I’m his alcoholic trophy wife with fake boobs.

Not all of that is true, but it makes it sound a lot more interesting, doesn’t it?

And aren’t you glad it wasn’t a chupacabra? I bet they carry germs. And rabies. Good thing it was only a bear.

PS – Yes. I entered this twice. Because I didn’t type in my own blog address correctly. And now I bet you know which part of my story above is correct. . .
25 carolyn August 10, 2011 at 6:22 am: Yep. Definininitely know now. sigh hic
carolyn recently posted..Let’s Face It – The Following Website is *Brilliant*…
26 Elly Lou August 10, 2011 at 6:24 am: You’re on a gay cruise?
Elly Lou recently posted..Sometimes Customer Service Rocks
27 Tattoo My Heart August 10, 2011 at 6:26 am: lol
Love it! It’s exactly the way I felt yesterday. I think you may have tapped into my mind somehow…creeeeepy.
Tattoo My Heart recently posted..Hard Day to Be Alone
28 Jaime August 10, 2011 at 6:27 am: I’d say it’s an improvement on that particular poster, actually.
Jaime recently posted..When he starts kindergarten I’ll probably have to be committed
29 stacey@Havoc&Mayhem August 10, 2011 at 6:31 am: I had to pin this. Just cuz.
stacey@Havoc&Mayhem recently posted..Wordy Wednesday
30 Jules August 10, 2011 at 6:44 am: I also have a Pinterest addiction AND may need to buy those prints you just made.

Also, tell Sarah Palin hi.

Kidding. I hate her.
Jules recently posted..I Left BlogHer with Six Pack Abs
31 Momma Teacher Lady August 10, 2011 at 6:50 am: Not even three years ago, I launched a major campaign to keep bears off of cruise ships. Not just because they smell like shit (literally) but because they’re always up late, partying, making noise, and being generally destructive.
32 drbubbles August 10, 2011 at 6:55 am: May you be lucky enough to see something like this while watching whales: http://animalsbeingdicks.com/post/8426793570/high-five
33 Momma Teacher Lady August 10, 2011 at 6:56 am: Forgot to add that I’m taking the campaign up again. This is just getting out of control. Out. of. fucking. control.
Momma Teacher Lady recently posted..No More Movies, Kid
34 Amanda @FancyOatmeal August 10, 2011 at 6:56 am: LOLOLOLOLOL I love it! Great fix!
Amanda @FancyOatmeal recently posted..Finally Getting It Out
35 Vinobaby August 10, 2011 at 7:00 am: My cousin is actually on a cruise ship in Alaska right now…and is is a big as a fucking bear. If he attacked you, I apologize, but damn you better abandon ship when his wife finds out.
Vinobaby recently posted..Summer Fun: Gone Wild and Retro
36 Lady B August 10, 2011 at 7:07 am: It always makes me intensely happy to see other people as annoyed as I am at cheesy overly sentimental quotes/posters/tweets.

I think I’ve unfollowed about 100 people because or their incessant posting about how amazing life is and how happy they are to have air and birds and jesus.

I keep a list of their names so I can backhand them one day and then see if they still tweet about how amazing it is to connect with people.
Lady B recently posted..I’m freaking out about debt ceilings and stock markets.
37 Clarissa August 10, 2011 at 7:10 am: Oh – such a novice. You didn’t pack that spray to repel bears. It’s in the same aisle as the one for mosquitos. Or you could wear a Sarah Palin mask. They are terrified of her up there.
Clarissa recently posted..Cleaning – really?!
38 SisterMerryHellish August 10, 2011 at 7:29 am: Since when is awesomeness a problem?

Seriously, you should make that into a greeting card or somethnig in your store!
SisterMerryHellish recently posted..Lying To Pants
39 Ed Adams August 10, 2011 at 7:36 am: Becareful.

Laptop bears are deadly.
Ed Adams recently posted..DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTERS: Parental Chat Edition
40 Abby August 10, 2011 at 7:45 am: Went to Alaska last summer…saw lots of bears and whales…but what REALLY scared me were the moose…er mooses….moosi??? Whatever you call them, I just remember they were WAY bigger than I had originally anticipated. Like Clydesdale horses on stilts. And they got a kick out of playing chicken in downhill traffic on the mountainside. BEWARE THE MOOSI!!
41 WebSavvyMom August 10, 2011 at 7:46 am: –>I would add to the first poster, “You’re the barf in my toilet.”

http://www.WebSavvyMom.com
WebSavvyMom recently posted..10 Guarantees about Teenagers in my House
42 moooooog35 August 10, 2011 at 7:47 am: SURVIVAL TIP:

Throw peanuts and milk at the bear when he attacks – you never know if he’s allergic or lactose intolerant.
moooooog35 recently posted..Ummm….Did I Do That?
43 Julie August 10, 2011 at 7:48 am: You are the ointment to my breakout, the toilet to my projectile vomit and the Glade spray to my flatulence.

Julie
ilikebeerandbabies.com
Julie recently posted..Testes, Testes. One, two…three?
44 The Escrow Goddess August 10, 2011 at 7:49 am: They have bears on the cruise ships?! That ends my decision making over Bahamas or Alaskan Cruise…Were taking the Alaska Cruise! Awesome!
The Escrow Goddess recently posted..Retirement for White Dog and Introducing Replacement Dog
45 Stephanie August 10, 2011 at 7:51 am: Tell me you were on the cruise ship that almost had a glacier fall on it. Please. <3
Stephanie recently posted..I’m Tweeting! I’m Tweeting!
46 Stephanie August 10, 2011 at 7:52 am: Also, for reference for those who don’t know what I am talking about:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2024106/Moment-collapsing-glacier-nearly-swept-away-tourist-boat.html
Stephanie recently posted..I’m Tweeting! I’m Tweeting!
47 Jamie August 10, 2011 at 7:58 am: I need this in my living room!!! My best friend is lactose intolerant and allergic to peanuts. She would love it!
48 Allison August 10, 2011 at 8:08 am: That sounds like something I would do. I respect your irreverence. Also, I hope you that the first poster isn’t super-copywrited, because that would make an awesome tri-fold card. For like, a bar mitzvah or something.

Are peanuts kosher?
Allison recently posted..Revising, Rewriting, and Banging My Head Against a Wall
49 Kristen August 10, 2011 at 8:18 am: What kind of bear? Was it a panda bear? Pandas are my favorite.
Kristen recently posted..Pieces.
50 tokenblogger August 10, 2011 at 8:23 am: Blood on the laptop? I don’t think taking the battery out and then setting the laptop deep into a bowl of rice is the best solution here. Are there vampires on that ship?
tokenblogger recently posted..More chocolate than chocolate…
51 Kitten Thunder's Girl August 10, 2011 at 8:24 am: If you had a vampire laptop this wouldn’t be a problem. I’m just saying maybe you should think about being more prepared for these things.
Kitten Thunder’s Girl recently posted..Sheri’s Cafe
52 Bodaciousboomer August 10, 2011 at 8:27 am: Glad you’re still away from all the unrelenting heat in these parts. Out son in Austin says “It’s hot as balls..” Not really sure what that means, but I think he’s right; and according to what I just heard there’s no rain predicted for any of us til October.
Bodaciousboomer recently posted..She coulda been a lady Tarzan
53 Johi August 10, 2011 at 8:27 am: Man, I hate it when I am on a cruise ship and a bear attacks. That is the kind of crap that can really ruin your day.
Johi recently posted..Injuring myself without the fun of Adrenaline
54 kettletop August 10, 2011 at 8:29 am: Finally I have a place to properly display my Breakfast Cthulu picture!
kettletop recently posted..Hello Darkness
55 Shalottlilly August 10, 2011 at 8:39 am: How lucky you are! Attacked by a bear??? How romantic, what Alaska should be about….oh wait…why was a bear on a cruise ship??
56 Maria@La_Piattini August 10, 2011 at 8:45 am: Hey, you’re just saying what you need to say and being honest! Hope the bear didn’t maul you too bad….
57 Erica August 10, 2011 at 8:50 am: Fuck the bear
Erica recently posted..How to Look Sexy at the Beach
58 Kaley August 10, 2011 at 8:58 am: Yeah. The inspirational word image things that take over my pin wall make me gag at times. Also, some of them I really like. But I refuse to give into the quote boards and get one of my own! Hard-headed 4 eva.
Kaley recently posted..Guest Post – Emma’s Stateside Travels
59 Jonah Gibson August 10, 2011 at 9:00 am: Bears only board cruise ships for Vicodin and vodka. To placate, you must medicate.
Jonah Gibson recently posted..Fiddlin’
60 [SMASH] at Sweat. Style. Swoon. August 10, 2011 at 9:10 am: Those are beyond fantastic.
[SMASH] at Sweat. Style. Swoon. recently posted..[SWOON] What I’m Loving Wednesday!
61 Michelle August 10, 2011 at 9:21 am: How on earth did you go on a cruise without Copernicus? I am sure one look at him and a bear would have been afraid of whatever makes his face do that…

He could have been the life saving life taking leprosy monkey after that. It would have added to his awesomeness !
Michelle recently posted..What were they thinking?
62 Pauline August 10, 2011 at 9:34 am: Don’t say I didn’t warn you about the bears. My daughters and I are going school shopping this week so of course I’ll be packing on that trip. Because, you know; all the bears roaming the malls. Most of them are fine if they’ve had their coffee but there’s always a rogue. Or two…
Pauline recently posted..People: Brave Benbow
63 Betty Fokker August 10, 2011 at 9:43 am: Bears mauling are increasing on cruise ships every year and yet the failed Obama administration is doing NOTHING about the ursine problem!
Betty Fokker recently posted..More proof diets suck goats
64 Nikki August 10, 2011 at 9:45 am: I have a terrible addiction to Pinterest. I may go to rehab soon.

I am insanely jealous of you being in cool weather. At 8:45 this morning it was 95 degrees and 100% humidity. Gotta love southeast texas
Nikki recently posted..The Catfish Whisperer
65 Teacher Girl August 10, 2011 at 10:01 am: I am lactose intolerant and deathly allergic to peanuts and I love it! I sort of want to hang these as a series in my house.
Teacher Girl recently posted..Just do it already
66 Carri August 10, 2011 at 10:08 am: That’s it. I’m joining pinterest just so I can see what kind of fucked up things you’re finding.
Carri recently posted..And That’s The Reason My Name Sucks
67 Tabitha@ life of the chefs wife August 10, 2011 at 10:08 am: Love it!!!
You are the best to my friend… better then breast to my chest I guess.
Tabitha@ life of the chefs wife recently posted..What you should know about Us.
68 Julie the Wife August 10, 2011 at 10:27 am: Perhaps you accidentally took a cruise on a bear ship.
I’ve missed you terribly. Hiding in your house isn’t the same without you here.
Julie the Wife recently posted..Day 9 – Meh.
69 andi August 10, 2011 at 10:30 am: I just got back from Alaska! Tell the bears I said hi. And I want my fingers back.
andi recently posted..Launching Rockets with Gravity Groms
70 Stephen August 10, 2011 at 10:47 am: located the source: http://www.etsy.com/listing/66370338/love-quote-you-are-the-peanut-to-my
Stephen recently posted..whaaa..??
71 Rachel August 10, 2011 at 10:53 am: I’m pinning you shit, so you don’t have to break pinterest etiquette and pin your own shit. Also, I’m just pinning it because it’s made of awesome.

You’re welcome.
Rachel recently posted..Is the end near??? Did I miss the memo?
72 Rebecca August 10, 2011 at 10:54 am: No, not a sickness.

Some folks just need the maudlin sentimentality beat out of them with a hammer of sarcasm.

Or a cruiseship mangling bear.

Whatever is most convenient.
Rebecca recently posted..Advice from a Wedding Coordinator:
73 Teresa M. Owen August 10, 2011 at 11:05 am: Between facebooking, googling, tweeting, and pinning, I rarely have time for working.
Teresa M. Owen recently posted..I Married A Critter Whisperer
74 Polish Mama on the Prairie August 10, 2011 at 11:07 am: What happened? Were you eating salmon and they got all mad?

I tried Pinterest but just don’t get it.
Polish Mama on the Prairie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Infant Jesus of Prague Statue Tradition
75 Cheryl M. August 10, 2011 at 11:21 am: Oh, come on now…you’ve got it backwards. You turn shit to complete awesomeness!
Cheryl M. recently posted..30 Day Blog Challenge – #11 Put Your iPod on Shuffle and List the Top 10 Songs
76 Cathy August 10, 2011 at 11:25 am: Oh awesome. I recently jumped on the pinterest bandwagon but i haven’t been able to figure out what the hell to do with it.

Now I know.
Cathy recently posted..Awkward Photojournalism
77 Jen August 10, 2011 at 11:37 am: Oh. Em. Gee. I hope the bear survived the ass-kicking that Copernicus rained down on its ass! Unless you’re talking about a big, hairy gay guy, then I hope he’s your new Best! Friend! Ever! Or, at least, your best cruise friend. Because no cruise is complete without a big, hairy gay guy to watch the crappy Vegas wanna-be shows with.
Jen recently posted..Ants Are Nasty Ass Bastards But This Time It Wasn’t Dan’s Fault
78 Craftwhack August 10, 2011 at 11:46 am: I hope by more soon… you meant signs. That’s funny. LOLOLZ I am completely and utterly addicted to Pinterest. It makes me want to get up in the morning.
Craftwhack recently posted..The Little Mister
79 "Susan Says..." August 10, 2011 at 12:04 pm: I am not sure why blood on the laptop is a problem but whatever….
“Susan Says…” recently posted..There Are No Boobs Mentioned At All in Today’s Post (It’s Just Another One About My Kids, Cats and Politics)
80 Pip August 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm: Pinterest is my new crack which replaced my old crack, Facebook. Which replaced my old old crack, yahoo chat rooms. Which replaced my old old old crack, crack.
81 Cathy St C. August 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm: Where was his boyfriend? Just sayin. I would hate for you to get in the middle of a spat between a man and his bear. Plus, hello, I don’t know any bears on the fence. What was he doing nibbling on you? You have too many outtie-parts.
82 Mads August 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm: And this is exactly why I follow you on Pinterest.
Mads recently posted..Family Favorite Recipe: Pesto
83 Sally August 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm: Pinterest is a dangerous place. Possibly more dangerous than facebook, because you can never run out of new stuff to search for.
Sally recently posted..Cleaning
84 Jenna August 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm: Really hoping you survive your cruise, but if you don’t, I’d bet that your blog from the grave would be just as good if not better.

Jenna
momofmanyhats.blogspot.com
Jenna recently posted..It took me two weeks to wrap my mind around this.
85 Emily @ Living & Learning August 10, 2011 at 1:20 pm: hahaha – your posts always seem to brighten my day.

have fun in alaskaaaa
Emily @ Living & Learning recently posted..Oldies but Goodies
86 kat @ paper doll theory August 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm: did you try to hug the bear? or dance with it? bears don’t like to be hugged or danced with
87 Anna August 10, 2011 at 2:50 pm: I’m pretty sure the only reason for posting something creative online, is so that others are open and free to mock it.
Anna recently posted..Minion 2 Mows The Lawn
88 Becca August 10, 2011 at 2:55 pm: God Damn I knew I was using that Pinterest website all wrong. I wanted to “PIN” a picture of an elephant pooping the other day but couldn’t decide what category to put it under. Sigh. Life’s little details.
Becca recently posted..FuCk YoU Nun Nazi, FUCK YOU.
89 riky August 10, 2011 at 3:06 pm: If you are going through Seattle on your way back to Texas, can I buy you a drink? A co-worker introduced me to your blog and it’s not my favorite obsession!

I sent the post about Beyonce to my boyfriend who proceeded to send it to his entire office. His co-worker bought her own lifesized Beyonce and took a picture to pass around. It’s now my screen saver
90 Alexandra August 10, 2011 at 3:11 pm: Hey, have to tell you: you were the kindest, most genuine person to everyone that waited in line to meet you at The People’s Party.

I can’t imagine what that feels like: to see person after person just waiting for two seconds with you.

And you never lost your sparkle with every one. They’d wait, and you’d treat them like they were the first one you met.

I have no words for you, you’re so genuine: that it brings a lump to my throat.

You are something.
Alexandra recently posted..I Went To BlogHer and Got Some Sexy Healthy Oh!Shoes
91 Louise S. August 10, 2011 at 3:31 pm: If you happened to be disembarking out of Seattle on your return…AND you feel the need to get away from the family for an hour or two after being cooped up with them in crowded boat/tiny room, my gal friends and I would love to host you to drinks – you can be assured of lots of fawning (and free wine) – we are big fans of your blog.
92 Mike August 10, 2011 at 3:36 pm: OMG you’re HILARIOUS!! I totally happened upon you by accident and now I can’t get enough of your blog; thanks for turning a horribly boring day of lease review (yawn) into a laugh fest…
93 Tazer Warrior Princess August 10, 2011 at 3:38 pm: Holy hell bears on a motherfucking cruise!?!

It’s like the Alaskan version of Snakes on a Plane, but with more teeth. And claws. And legs.
94 Rixie August 10, 2011 at 3:39 pm: Yeah! A new hobby for me! I don’t have to wait for a friend to slip up and post crap like that on facebook so that I’ll have something to make fun of.
Rixie recently posted..Positive Deviant
95 Tazer Warrior Princess August 10, 2011 at 3:39 pm: Oops, got modded.

Holy hell, bears on a cruise!?!

It’s like the Alaskan version of Snakes on a Plane, but with more teeth. And claws. And legs. If only Sarah Palin was spotted it’d be perfect.
Tazer Warrior Princess recently posted..Aimless wanderings and pointless musing
96 Julie E August 10, 2011 at 3:48 pm: See! This is what you get for leaving Beyonce at home! He would have protected you from that bear.
Hmm if the bear got to you, Victor wasn’t much of a human shield was he??
Julie E recently posted..Obsessively Oblivious
97 Stacy August 10, 2011 at 4:42 pm: hahaha you made my day
98 jacqui August 10, 2011 at 4:45 pm: This is exactly why they shouldn’t let bears on cruise ships in the first place. But nobody ever listens to me.
jacqui recently posted..Get A Real Job…
99 Dom August 10, 2011 at 5:04 pm: UGH. Instead of messing with people’s posters, I always have snarky remarks in my head, usually revolving around your mom, your face, and last night.

Example conference call:
client: I really love the way you did this!
internal monologue: Your mom really loved the way I did this. LAST NIGHT!

Boss: I don’t like how this looks, (pointing at my monitor)
internal monologue: I don’t like the way YOUR FACE LOOKS.

*sigh*
100 riky August 10, 2011 at 5:11 pm: I meant to put “now”. Not “not”. That’s just rude.
101 della August 10, 2011 at 5:39 pm: mynd you, moose bites are pretti nasti…
102 Jane August 10, 2011 at 6:13 pm: I can always count on a good snort when I visit you! Thanks. For the snort. The legal kind, that is. (Have a great trip!)
Jane recently posted..Mom’s First Day Of School Jitters
103 virginia August 10, 2011 at 6:58 pm: You make my day.
V
virginia recently posted..Une promenade dans le jardin
104 Kirsten August 10, 2011 at 8:06 pm: Get a damp washcloth and scrub away the blood – you have to soldier on and report on the Great North Wilderness.

-from Seattle, the Great Northwest Wilderness
Kirsten recently posted..Sometimes I don’t let things go
105 Maniacal Mom August 10, 2011 at 8:11 pm: Was Canada prepared for you to arrive…because after all…I am a Canadian and I would totally pee myself if you dropped in for high tea…just saying!
106 Karen Hawks August 10, 2011 at 9:11 pm: My friend owns a hunting and fishing business in Juneau. I’m sure he could help you with the bear. Our minds are one with the signs. I <3 you.
107 angelica August 10, 2011 at 9:47 pm: I’m waiting for the sarah palin pun before opening my mouth… it’s coming, we both know it, the bears are just to throw us off
angelica recently posted..it is what it is (on photography and passion)
108 Brenna August 10, 2011 at 9:56 pm: YAY for whale watching but boo for being bear bait. Hope you survive this trip and come back with great stories!
Brenna recently posted..I sucked at parallel parking in drivers ed
109 Unbeliever August 10, 2011 at 10:29 pm: Shouldn’t it be I’m lactose intolerant and deathly allergic to peanuts?
110 allpointswhole August 11, 2011 at 5:44 am: absolutely love it! thanks for always making me laugh!
allpointswhole recently posted..Sowing My Wild Oats: Why I love communal living and want to buy a big piece of land and have all my friends live there
111 Nicole @ myIdeaLife August 11, 2011 at 6:07 am: I can spend hours on Pinterest and I have you to blame – I followed one of your links there and now instead of writing a post I end up just searching through all the beautiful images – there seems to be a run of zombie ones lately which you’d appreciate. Hope the bear didn’t eat one of your hands, not sure what I’d do if you couldn’t type…. (seriously have fun in Alaska ! we’ll live if you take a break….maybe)

Nicole x
Nicole @ myIdeaLife recently posted..Did you by any chance see some brain tissue in that placenta?
112 Plano Mom August 11, 2011 at 8:52 am: Is that bear blood or your blood? Somehow I can’t picture a woman as prepared for the zombie apocalypse as you being caught off guard by a silly bear.
113 Alexandra August 11, 2011 at 8:52 am: I LOVE Alaska. Alaska is the humpback to my whales. The panning to my gold. The husky to my dog. The melting to my glaciar. The global to my warming. The Holland to my America.

Shall I go on?
Alexandra recently posted..PhyzCon
114 debi9kids August 11, 2011 at 9:48 am: I’m horribly addicted to Pinterest. Horrible.
But, must say I am nowhere near as clever with those silly posters. I just usually read them, gag, and move on.
(you’ve inspired me to do more
debi9kids recently posted..The Most Versatile Cake You’ll EVER Make. I Promise!
115 Rebecca August 11, 2011 at 11:05 am: Yeah – when everything you touch turns to crap, that’s called the “Anti-Midas touch.”
116 RachelJoy August 11, 2011 at 11:14 am: You don’t have a problem, you’re just brutally honest.

Cool Beans!
RachelJoy recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Fruitopia
117 Corinne August 11, 2011 at 1:04 pm: I 17th the hopes that there will be a Victor/taxidermy story to this trip somewhere.
Corinne recently posted..Things I am thankful for
118 SparkleBella August 11, 2011 at 1:59 pm: I’m betting the bear is now a rug on your cabin floor. Problem solved. Until his relatives show up.

Poster perfect – that triptych should be sold everywhere. Hallmark is calling you right now – unless they’ve already ripped you off. Again.

Watch out for the buffets on the cruise ship. They’re statistically deadlier than the bears.
119 IslandBlue August 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm: Glad you are meeting the whales and bears. Just so you know, the bears on cruise ships are paid actors, that’s not the way real bears live in Alaska. If you are in the Juneau area, you should know that it doesn’t always rain here and its quite beautiful when the sun shines. But I guess you get enough sunshine at home, so soak up some rain and enjoy! And yes, we laugh at tourists who wear transparent ponchos and rain scarves. If you happen to raft down the Mendenhall River, wave at the gray house on the bend with three pugs barking at you.

Oh, and thanks for the Pinterest addicition. I’m unable to stop myself!

Rhonda
120 Brittany Blackman August 11, 2011 at 2:24 pm: Whenever I hear about bears and Alaska, I think about having a sess on top of a bear made in to a rug. In central florida, in 103 degree weather, that’s what we fantasize about. Cold weather hook ups.
Brittany Blackman recently posted..The most epic goose ever…
121 That Uncomfortable Itch August 11, 2011 at 2:29 pm: You really had no other choice than to go the route you did with that first picture. The Peanut to my Butter? Milk to my cookie? One can only be cruel or obscene with drivel like that.

I don’t get Pinterest. It stresses me out and makes me very nervous.
That Uncomfortable Itch recently posted..I compensate with cheese
122 stephanie a August 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm: well thank goodness you are a fan of bathrooms, because bears don’t need toilets so you’ll probably be safe in there…
123 Beth August 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm: A) I am too lazy to read all the other comments, so if someone else already said this….forgive me

B) When you said “Bear”….I didn’t think large territorial animal, I thought “large hairy gay man”

C) My best friend is gay so don’t be hatin’ on me …..
Beth recently posted..Day 8: Use Water
124 Rico Swaff August 11, 2011 at 4:03 pm: My facebook status a few weeks ago was, ” You know what would be scary as shit? Being chased in knee-high snow by a polar bear.” If you are still alive to write of this occurrence, I am assuming you won the battle. I wonder which tactics you used to defeat the polar bear.
Rico Swaff recently posted..Ridin’ Ghetto Part 3
125 Cat August 11, 2011 at 4:24 pm: Pinterest like everything else on the internets is a black hole but such a lovely, entertaining, beautiful and funny black hole. I really need to get back to work….oh pin that…!
126 Kerry Kenney August 11, 2011 at 5:02 pm: My friend Jon wrote a great book about a bear eating people on a cruise ship. It would make the best movie. I think you should read it. I know this is an internet plug but I hope you take it in the spirit of bears eating people on a cruise ship way that I meant. His book is called The Inside Passage. You can get it on Amazon.
127 tori nelson August 11, 2011 at 7:12 pm: Peanut to my butter? Totally asking for it.
tori nelson recently posted..Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend. Bridesmaids Aren’t Bad Either.
128 Meredith August 11, 2011 at 8:04 pm: I guess there’s a fine line between “bear hugs” and strangling too.
Meredith recently posted..Cock-a-doodle, Oink
129 nica August 11, 2011 at 10:31 pm: Very pintresting. Very pintresting, indeed.
130 kim at allconsuming August 12, 2011 at 1:48 am: You know I have a pinterest page titled ‘things that shit me’. If I was remotely more technologically capable I would so do this type of thing.
131 waghthedad August 12, 2011 at 4:11 am: OK, so go to pinterest and check out the “I’m The Shit” thing with the dad and the kid. And thanks, kim for making me spend 5 minutes looking at pinterest “Shit” shit.
waghthedad recently posted..You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Sleeping
132 Becky August 12, 2011 at 5:39 am: I’ve ordered your posters. They will be placed next to my Zazzle-fied Beyonce purchase.
Becky recently posted..Real Food. It’s What’s for Dinner. Once a Year.
133 Liz August 12, 2011 at 5:56 am: sigh. be bear aware. srsly.
http://fakescience.tumblr.com/post/8785235458/be-bear-aware
134 Theresa August 12, 2011 at 6:06 am: I just saw some folks on an Alaskan cruise on TV. They made part of a glacier fall into the sea and then taped it. I think they were using metal chicken to chip away at the ice. Are you behind this?
Theresa recently posted..Mr. Mom… {Leave the Nest Momma}
135 Paula @ thewilyweez August 12, 2011 at 9:11 am: Haha! I want that as a T-shirt!
Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted..Someone Is Missing From This Picture…And It’s Not Me…Or The Dog
136 If I Were God... August 12, 2011 at 11:17 am: You see what they put up, and then you come back with something better.
So you’re what they call in boxing ‘a counterpuncher’.
Who’s maybe a little punch-drunk. Maybe on a counter?
A counter-punch-drunk?

Will nobody stop me already!?
If I Were God… recently posted..So I was on Fox News today
137 The Revolving Diet August 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm: I just stumbled (not drunk – I wish but seems it’s a little too early in the day…plus I’m at work) just a link from a link to another link and there you were.

There apparently seems to be A.LOT. of us that think alike! I loved your James the Warthog story(I think i peed a little while laughing)….maybe you would like my Marcus Van Chipensburg story?

http://www.therevolvingdiet.com/marcus-von-chipensburg/
OR…..the groundhogs…..
http://www.therevolvingdiet.com/2011/08/good-morning-bunny.html
OR….even my site….I blog about dieting (the good, the bad and yes the going off it too!)

Will make your blog a regular!
Enjoy Alaska!
The Revolving Diet recently posted..Day 203.2 ~ 8/11/11
138 Gates August 12, 2011 at 4:01 pm: I TOTALLY read that as ” I spent the day catching whales…”

In all honesty, I wasn’t a bit surprised. Then I realized that you were merely watching them. I was a little saddened by how mundane your day was. But at least you were attacked by a bear, so there’s that.

By bear, you mean a big fuzzy gay guy, right? Because once again, that’s how *I* read that.
Gates recently posted..Been there, done that, was at the funeral.
139 Nakita August 12, 2011 at 6:13 pm: So, I’m on bedrest and your blog has been the reason the time is flying by. I’ve read 27 pages of your blog and you make me laugh so hard! Thanks for being so awesome! And making bedrest not boring at all!
Nakita recently posted..Things I’ve Learned Wearing My Arm Sling
140 RunawayDragons August 12, 2011 at 6:54 pm: Your posters pretty much sum up my life. Thank you!

And it’s not unflattering, it’s being an individual, which is a rarity in this modern world. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little crazy. Right? >.>
141 Amy August 12, 2011 at 10:31 pm: I’m laughing and can’t wait to get to Alaska one day!
142 Dr. Cynicism August 13, 2011 at 7:55 am: If by shit you mean utter hilarity, then yes… total agreement
Dr. Cynicism recently posted..One Word Caption
143 Lorca Damon August 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm: If they die from the peanut butter allergy, there will be more pinterest to go around. Survival of the pinterestest.
Lorca Damon recently posted..MILF: It Does A Body Good
144 Zena Zee August 13, 2011 at 6:07 pm: If you could see yourself, just for a day, you’d see how everyone else sees you. And my god, you are fucking beautiful.
145 Anna August 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm: Hoping you enjoyed the polar bear sex shows, and got some great photos to share!
Anna recently posted..So, you think you want to give birth..
146 TheSuze August 14, 2011 at 1:06 am: bwahahaha. “Exactly” is my favorite.
TheSuze recently posted..The Last Crusade…is a good night’s sleep
147 rehabilitationrandomness August 14, 2011 at 2:57 pm: Hilarious!
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148 yvonne@attractedtoshinythings August 14, 2011 at 6:48 pm: Not to tell you how to run your blog or anything, but wouldn’t it be funnier if the 2nd poster said, “But *I’m* lactose intolerant. And deathly allergic to peanuts.”. Then the third one could say, “THANK YOU”. Now that the OCD in me rewrote your blog, the socially anxious part of me APOLOGIZES PROFUSELY.
149 Rebecca - Soap Deli News Blog August 14, 2011 at 8:13 pm: Great series. I am insanely in lust with pinterest. It forces me to keep batteries on hand.
Rebecca – Soap Deli News Blog recently posted..Household Ideas for Pinching Pennies and Stretching Your Dime
150 Kristin August 15, 2011 at 12:14 am: You are brilliantly, wickedly funny and I have a picture of you with Beanis, the crocheted Penis on my blog.
151 Nakita August 15, 2011 at 2:31 am: Have you seen Whale Man? I’m both extremely confused and amazed. I also want a whale suit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZKb_-MwM0w&feature=player_embedded
Nakita recently posted..Brilliant!
152 Outdoor Kitchen Equipment August 15, 2011 at 2:42 am: Awww that was ridiculous and freaky to know that you have attacked by a bear,i am curious to know that ARE YOU ALL RIGHT NOW??….That blood thing was really not good.Any ways i liked those posters,really meaningful and touchy.Thanks for sharing them.

Good Luck and God Bless!!

With Regards!
Samuel Joshua.
Outdoor Kitchen Equipment recently posted..Outdoor Kitchen Equipment
153 Lizzie August 15, 2011 at 6:04 am: hope you heal from the bear attack soon!!!
Lizzie recently posted..30 Days About Me (Somewhere I’d Love to Travel)
154 Dawn August 15, 2011 at 7:17 am: hahaha!!! I love you!! you have the best sense of humor!!
155 Stacy August 15, 2011 at 8:49 am: I want someone to make a sign that reads:

“All because Adam and Eve did the nasty.”
156 subWOW August 15, 2011 at 9:44 am: BEST REASON for me to check out Pintrest. They really should hire you as a resident creator and curator.
subWOW recently posted..Repost: My Problems with “The Help”
157 melody August 15, 2011 at 9:50 am: You’re so hilarious.. LOL! I can’t stop myself from laughing .. I love the poster! Wish you got some funny photos.. I’m interested in knowing the full story about the bear attack.. Have a entertaining trip to Alaska..
158 hannamay August 15, 2011 at 9:52 am: You’re so hilarious.. LOL! I can’t stop myself from laughing .. I love the poster! Wish you got some funny photos.. I’m interested in knowing the full story about the bear attack.. Have a entertaining trip to Alaska..
hannamay recently posted..Luxury Chalet Rentals
159 Teh Evil Penguin August 15, 2011 at 10:16 am: Cracking open a bear on vacation on a cruise ship. You’re more of a man than I think I’ll ever be.
Teh Evil Penguin recently posted..TEP on Writer’s Block
160 Francesca August 15, 2011 at 11:48 pm: i found the “peanut to my butter” screen print on etsy.com through the shop “IScreenYouScreen”.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/66370338/love-quote-you-are-the-peanut-to-my
161 Suniverse August 16, 2011 at 7:37 pm: I can see those hanging as a triptych in my living room. Or maybe a nice gift for that friend who thinks she’s better than me. Either way, awesome.
Suniverse recently posted..GUEST POST: Acting AS IF
162 Rebel Chick Jenn August 17, 2011 at 9:33 am: You are so funny that it makes me jealous. Just a few short lines and my cheeks hurt from smiling.
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