UPDATED: MISSING.

October 4, 2011

in no one thinks this is funny but me,Random crap

See below for latest updates.

Remember last week when I wrote about the sign I’d put up on my neighborhood bulletin board?

This one:

Well, I checked today to see if anyone else had responded to it, but IT WAS GONE. It had been taken down, presumably by someone who hates snake reunions and happy endings. It was disconcerting.

Luckily, I knew the perfect place to ask for help:

UPDATED: The missing sign lasted less than 24 hours before vanishing. It’s a losing battle, but it’s a losing battle I’m willing to fight. Mainly because I work from home and have an entire ream of copy paper at my disposal. I can do this all damn day, vandals.

{ 475 comments… read them below or add one }

1 C-Rob October 4, 2011 at 8:06 am: That’s why we just can’t have nice things.
2 Charity October 4, 2011 at 8:07 am: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahaha!

Winning.
Charity recently posted..WTF are you guys looking for?!?
3 Lisa Marie Mary October 4, 2011 at 8:08 am: Seriously – your brain – it cracks me up. I don’t even understand how it works, that brain of yours – but it just. cracks. me. up.
Lisa Marie Mary recently posted..Don’t Get Mad…
4 Nikita October 4, 2011 at 8:08 am: ha! Fantastic!
5 Keith October 4, 2011 at 8:08 am: This is the kind of human interest story that makes me reach for the vodka.
6 Julie @ mamamash October 4, 2011 at 8:08 am: Did you just divide by zero? Is this real life?
Julie @ mamamash recently posted..Do Andean flamingos eat their young?
7 Mrs. D-Zo October 4, 2011 at 8:08 am: LOVE. LOVE. LOVE
Mrs. D-Zo recently posted..Lost in Translation
8 Lin October 4, 2011 at 8:09 am: Bwahaha…damn those sign thief’s! Hope they return it soon, I mean who wouldn’t, given the fact they get a snake as a reward
Lin recently posted..Sam’s Club Pink Promotion: $25 Gift Card Giveaway
9 Melinda Wentzel October 4, 2011 at 8:09 am: Sarcasm: It’s what’s for breakfast. ;-D
Melinda Wentzel recently posted..Food for Thought
10 Christy October 4, 2011 at 8:09 am: This is the only appropriate response to a missing sign.
Christy recently posted..First metal show in 4 years
11 bednar October 4, 2011 at 8:09 am: lulz
12 JennyB October 4, 2011 at 8:09 am: LOVE it! I hope you find the culprit!
13 Anna Nonamus October 4, 2011 at 8:10 am: You make my mornings SING, Jenny. SING! And also? These sign stealers should be hunted down, and given rabid paper cuts.
Anna Nonamus recently posted..Sponge Bob Oh My God Shoot Me In The Head Pants
14 Shannon October 4, 2011 at 8:10 am: YOu’re a riot! Taking it to the next level! making shit happen…. entertaining the neighborhood, one neighbor at a time!
15 Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd October 4, 2011 at 8:10 am: You should also leave a sign at every stop sign in the neighborhood so that people can see them coming to and from work. Have you contacted Sting, Quincy Jones, or Bono about possibly writing a “We are the Lost Rattlesnake Sign” song?
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..I accidentally named my blog after a Japanese serial killer.
16 Andrea October 4, 2011 at 8:10 am: You’re such a bitch. You know a war’s coming, right? At least there would be if I was the person who took the sign down. Happy hunting.
Andrea recently posted..The Hungry Goose…A True Story
17 Laura October 4, 2011 at 8:10 am: Very meta of you so early in the morning!
18 Gina aka Slappy October 4, 2011 at 8:10 am: Oh please won’t you be my neighbor?
Gina aka Slappy recently posted..Searching For Sponsors
19 Tanya @ Lovely Greens October 4, 2011 at 8:11 am: LOVE IT!!! HAHAHAHAHA!
Tanya @ Lovely Greens recently posted..Spiced Crab Apple Butter
20 Devan @ Accustomed Chaos October 4, 2011 at 8:11 am: ha – that made me laugh but i really hope you find your snake Perhaps the cleaverness of your awesome sign will help
Devan @ Accustomed Chaos recently posted..7 Dumbest Things Said To Me While Out With the Kids
21 Shannon October 4, 2011 at 8:11 am: you’ve also inspired me to try and do simple posts – not everything has to be a story. I also tried to recreate your Kitty on Head picture for a post called ME AND MY PPD – cat is still pissed! (I might have already told you this, but wine induced comments are not retained)
22 Maura @ evewaspartiallyright October 4, 2011 at 8:11 am: Awesomest Bitch Ever.
23 Theresa G. October 4, 2011 at 8:12 am: lol LOVE YOU!
24 Kitten Thunder's Girl October 4, 2011 at 8:12 am: Oh, I hope they take down this sign so you can put up a sign of the Missing sign. It just goes on and on, my friend.
Kitten Thunder’s Girl recently posted..Cookie Monster
25 Kayla October 4, 2011 at 8:13 am: Every time I read one of your posts I begin to laugh out loud at work and then realize I’m going to get into trouble so I have to pretend to be choking instead. Pretty sure my coworker’s going to try to give me the heimlich one of these days.
Kayla recently posted..Creepy Old Vampires
26 Snooglerat October 4, 2011 at 8:13 am: “gives hugs with mouth” … That is just awesome… bahaaaahhahaha!
Snooglerat recently posted..Mermaidish…
27 Brenna October 4, 2011 at 8:14 am: Brilliant! AS USUAL!
Brenna recently posted..And so it begins
28 Alison October 4, 2011 at 8:14 am: I hope your sign gets returned. You are just too funny. <3
29 erin m October 4, 2011 at 8:14 am: it’s a good thing you got a picture of this. If it mysteriously goes missing, you now have a picture for your lost signs
30 Julie October 4, 2011 at 8:14 am: So the next time my husband asks for a mouth hug, I can just hang him your rattlesnake, yes?
Julie recently posted..Do Andean flamingos eat their young?
31 Andie October 4, 2011 at 8:14 am: I hope you and your sign.. or your snake.. are reunited quickly.
Andie recently posted..When I say ‘back on the horse’ I am in no way referring to smack.
32 Annie October 4, 2011 at 8:14 am: That’s awesome. Post a PETA poster next to it just to rile the animal haters up. Stake out the bulletin board and follow the one responsible. Then give them Tiberious. Like a “drive by”. But with less bullets and more bitey. That’ll teach ‘em.
33 Chris October 4, 2011 at 8:15 am: I think you just blew my mind.
34 Mona Kay October 4, 2011 at 8:15 am: YOU are a God send! I recently jacked up my knee and am stuck in a brace and am on crutches… I HATE being trapped and I’ve always been a fan but now I STALK your site waiting for new blogs…you help me keep my sense of humor…so a very BIG THANK YOU!!!!
35 Lori Beth October 4, 2011 at 8:15 am: hahahahaha.
I should know better then to drink while reading your blog.
…coffee…everywhere!
36 Hannah October 4, 2011 at 8:15 am: The *perfect* response–I do hope the thief claims their reward!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hannah recently posted..Milestone | 09.28.2011
37 Heidi October 4, 2011 at 8:16 am: There’s a really good blowjob joke in there somewhere, but the words aren’t coming.
38 kimicalreaction October 4, 2011 at 8:16 am: Brilliant. Thanks for the awesomeness.
kimicalreaction recently posted..Weekly Photo Challenge: Sunset
39 Jennifer October 4, 2011 at 8:17 am: WOW!!! You have the best neighbours ever!!! I can’t wait to see what you’re going to post in reply!
40 Corie October 4, 2011 at 8:17 am: You make my bad days so much better
41 Natalie October 4, 2011 at 8:18 am: That’s all sorts of funny! I wonder how many people have read it and thought: Huh?
Natalie recently posted..A Typical Conversation With Ethan
42 Stacey October 4, 2011 at 8:19 am: I cant wait for your post! I look forward to them every day! You can make a glum day so much brighter!
xoxo
Stacey recently posted..Death of a Valley Girl
43 Sosie October 4, 2011 at 8:19 am: I seriously envy your limitless brain cleverness. I marvel at your spunky responses to everyday situations
44 Jamie @ See You There! October 4, 2011 at 8:20 am: LOL!!! omg I really hope some people in your neighborhood see this shit and laugh. what percentage do you think understands this is a joke, and which think it’s for real?? I’d say 10/90 hahahahaha!
Jamie @ See You There! recently posted..A Beautiful Preview – Ellie & J.C.
45 Reneesance October 4, 2011 at 8:20 am: GENIUS! I want this to continue to infinities. Tinier and tinier pictures of pictures of signs that have disappeared.
46 Anne October 4, 2011 at 8:21 am: just goes to show, some neighbors are cool, and some need to have the sticks pulled out of their butts . . . or a rattlesnake give them a hug
47 Chuck Baudelaire October 4, 2011 at 8:21 am: Someone doesn’t want that snake to be found. This is where I’d cue the police-procedural-show music if I watched that shit.
Chuck Baudelaire recently posted..Why Does It Have to Be Pink?
48 John B October 4, 2011 at 8:22 am: “Gives hugs with mouth.” Very nice.
John B recently posted..blame tv
49 katka October 4, 2011 at 8:23 am: Maybe this guy coul help
http://scaryduck.blogspot.com/search/label/lost%20cat
50 Jen October 4, 2011 at 8:23 am: I LOVE YOU. I used to think I was funny, witty, and a semi-decent writer until I stumbled upon your blog. The hilarity that bounces around your brain astounds me sometimes! LOL
51 Amalia October 4, 2011 at 8:23 am: Did you check to see if he’s microchipped?
52 TessaLeFae October 4, 2011 at 8:23 am: I love obnoxiousness. Very endearing.
53 Mademoiselle Dave October 4, 2011 at 8:24 am: Mr Scary Duck over here in the UK has a similar long-running battle. I thought you might enjoy this!
http://caversham.tumblr.com/
xx
54 Kim October 4, 2011 at 8:24 am: My favorite part of this story is how no one (not even the commenters here) questions your conclusion that the bitey rattlesnake was someone’s PET….???? Gotta love Texas. Sign stealin’ rattle snake lovers, all of ya.
55 Beth October 4, 2011 at 8:24 am: I give hugs with my mouth too. My boyfriend SO doesn’t like it. Now I can tell him, “Hey, at least I’m not venomous!”
Beth recently posted..I don’t even know what to say right now
56 Koockie October 4, 2011 at 8:25 am: HIL.ARIOUS.
Koockie recently posted..Sometimes I think this is heaven
57 loudlyshy October 4, 2011 at 8:25 am: You know some curmudgeonly person is going to have a total fit when they see what you’ve done after they removed your “waste of space” Found sign.

I…I can’t stop laughing. I can’t believe I didn’t see where you were going with this. You’re a genius.
58 moooooog35 October 4, 2011 at 8:26 am: I’m pretty sure shit like this is how wormholes will eventually be discovered.
moooooog35 recently posted..The Giving Tree…from a different perspective
59 Katrina October 4, 2011 at 8:26 am: FTW! You are so awesome and I LOVE your sense of humor! I would love to have you as my neighbor, so whoever took down the side should go piss off…
60 Stacey October 4, 2011 at 8:31 am: Too funny! I hope you find your lost ad
61 Jeneva October 4, 2011 at 8:32 am: Oh my god, I missed the first signs. That shit is funny.

But the next sign?? That shit is beyond hilarious. I love sarcasm. Especially yours.
62 Jordan @ food, sweat, and beers October 4, 2011 at 8:32 am: I’m still Missing Missy. I bet the rattlesnake ate her.
Jordan @ food, sweat, and beers recently posted..The Great Tour de Pumpkin (Beer): Review of 10 Pumpkin Beers!
63 Tom Stronach October 4, 2011 at 8:32 am: I have a sore back woman have you no compassion in your sole if I laugh I shake if I shake I hurt I should have known bloody better than open up the attachment to your tweet – so pain is therefore self inflicted

My Latest Post Mr Fat an update http://tomstronach.blogspot.com
64 Code marketing October 4, 2011 at 8:32 am: I’m gonna start looking right now. Then later when I get the reward i’ll be so happy i’ll say “i think im seizing”. I waill either be happy for getting the reward or maybe it will be the hug from the snake.
65 Duncan October 4, 2011 at 8:33 am: Kitten Thunder’s Girl — Some people stared sining it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because…
66 Screwed Up Texan October 4, 2011 at 8:33 am: NICE! Someone in my neighborhood plastered all the light poles with “STOLEN: My Trailer” signs. I wanna put another sign next to his saying “PLEASE STEAL MY TRAILER” signs, bc the piece of crap my husband has parked in our driveway is driving me insane.
Screwed Up Texan recently posted..Letters from an Anonymous Friend: De-tech-ified
67 Katie October 4, 2011 at 8:33 am: Too awesome!!!! Love it!
68 Duncan October 4, 2011 at 8:33 am: *started
69 Julie G from Iowa October 4, 2011 at 8:33 am: Awesome. Just awesome.
Won’t you be my neighbor?
70 Gretchen @ Honey, I Shrunk the Gretchen! October 4, 2011 at 8:35 am: Haaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha
Gretchen @ Honey, I Shrunk the Gretchen! recently posted..Viva Italiano!
71 Tara October 4, 2011 at 8:36 am: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I hope you find the sign, and the snake’s owner very soon. He/she is almost certainly missing their “mouth hugs” right about now.
72 Becky Rice October 4, 2011 at 8:37 am: Let me know if I can contribute to the reward fund. Sooooo worth it.
Becky Rice recently posted..I See London, I See France….
73 KS October 4, 2011 at 8:38 am: “snake reunions and happy endings,” eh?
74 TriGirl October 4, 2011 at 8:39 am: It’s really heartbreaking when you discover that the people you have to call neighbours steal the things you love.
TriGirl recently posted..Canadian Cycle Class: It’s American-like but with different-coloured bikes.
75 Angie @ Bigbearswife October 4, 2011 at 8:39 am: hahaha
Angie @ Bigbearswife recently posted..Cookie Dough Ice Cream Bread
76 Jackie October 4, 2011 at 8:40 am: seriously, I want to be your neighbour. You crack me up.
77 Christy October 4, 2011 at 8:40 am: I once lost a coffee mug and considered ordering a new mug with a picture of the old mug on it, with the caption “HAVE YOU SEEN ME??” Sadly, I was too broke at the time to be able to afford such luxuries as custom coffee mugs.
Christy recently posted..“Hey, wait!”
78 Julie | A Clear Sign October 4, 2011 at 8:41 am: You see, this is why we love you. Nothing like fostering a real sense of community!
Julie | A Clear Sign recently posted..Soul Mates, Romance, and Soul Level Appointments
79 Ryan (The Woven Moments) October 4, 2011 at 8:43 am: That is so meta.
Ryan (The Woven Moments) recently posted..How I Turned Old Stuff Into A New Laptop
80 Allyn October 4, 2011 at 8:44 am: Nothing better than a big ol’ mouth hug from a rattler!
Allyn recently posted..Pinterest Rules
81 Rev. Back It On Up 13 October 4, 2011 at 8:45 am: The next thing they’re going to take is the entire pole, and THEN what are you going to hang pictures of the pole on?

Think ahead!
Rev. Back It On Up 13 recently posted..I’m Sorry That I Allowed Cows to be Insulted In Front of That Indian Man
82 Lee October 4, 2011 at 8:45 am: You bring joy into my heart…and tears of laughter in my eyes. This was a great start to my day.
83 Gutmeister October 4, 2011 at 8:47 am: That’s typical in this day and age. Nobody respects anybody else’s things. All you’re trying to do is reunite a pet with its owner and this is the kind of crap you have to endure. Well I for one am proud of your efforts and think you should be commended for selflessly putting yourself out there, regardless of the abuse others wish to heap upon you. Bravo, I say.
Gutmeister recently posted..Age Gracefully, You Bastard
84 Rachel at StimCity October 4, 2011 at 8:50 am: It’s so sad when a Lost and Found case becomes Larceny and/or Kidnapping.

Hope the note is being well cared for.

Cheers -
Rachel at StimCity recently posted..Beyoncé’s Little Brother, Solange
85 Phoenix Rising October 4, 2011 at 8:52 am: BAHHHAAA!!!! I want to move into your neighborhood. “Gives hugs with mouth.” BAHHHAAA!!!!!
Phoenix Rising recently posted..How to Win a War: Stay one step ahead of the competition. Which, clearly, I am not.
86 Julie October 4, 2011 at 8:52 am: Love cuddletime and long walks on the beach.
Julie recently posted..I like boobies.
87 southpaw October 4, 2011 at 8:55 am: Perfect.
southpaw recently posted..I’ve moved.
88 Brian October 4, 2011 at 9:02 am: I can’t wait for the post that will come months from now with a picture of that picture of that picture of that picture of that picture of that picture of that picture of that sign.
Brian recently posted..I would give this dream a title, but I really don’t even know where to start.
89 Erin October 4, 2011 at 9:03 am: Hilarious! I wish I could catch a glimpse inside of your head to see how your brain works. It really is an amazing thing.

Also funny? These comments! They make me laugh too…
90 Bodaciousboomer October 4, 2011 at 9:04 am: There are just way too many killjoys in the world-even in Texas. I find that sad.
Bodaciousboomer recently posted..Hello from the right side of my brain…
91 Elly Lou October 4, 2011 at 9:06 am: Good thing you went with “hugs with mouth” instead of “snake massages always include happy endings.” Otherwise the happy ending hater would have snatched it again.
92 Claudette October 4, 2011 at 9:08 am: Thank you! This gave me a much needed laugh! You are awesome.
93 traci October 4, 2011 at 9:08 am: Oh holy hell, woman, you are a genius! I LOVE it. Thanks for keeping me, and your neighborhood, entertained!
94 Angie October 4, 2011 at 9:09 am: Holy crap you make me laugh so hard! I can’t even tell you how many weird looks I get when I’m reading your blog at work! You’re awesome!
Angie recently posted..My Eternal Sweetheart
95 casey October 4, 2011 at 9:13 am: The facebook post had me nervous that someone had stolen beyonce. I was upset but reading this made me of course sad for your loss, but happy for b. It seems obvious to me that bitey’s original owners don’t want him back anymore so THEY are the ones stealing your sign. Those poor people. They probably don’t have the money to keep him properly clothed. I hope this makes your next mission clear.
96 Kelly Kearney October 4, 2011 at 9:13 am: I bet a follower saw your sign, saw it on the street and decided to keep a momento. It is possible! No I don’t live in Texas, so I’m not it! lol
97 Whitney October 4, 2011 at 9:17 am: Maybe you should enlist the help of the enthusiastic Samuel L Jackson, he hasn’t done anything in a while.. just sayin’
98 Kirsten October 4, 2011 at 9:19 am: I love you!
99 Gina October 4, 2011 at 9:20 am: Goodness, that is disconcerting. This could go on an on…Keep fighting the good fight Bloggess!
Gina recently posted..Lovely meeting you, we’re changing the locks
100 yelling near you October 4, 2011 at 9:21 am: How much deeper does the rabbit hole go, Jenny? My guess: much deeper.

I think you should tout the rattlesnake’s special skills including: fabulous babysitter (built in rattle), guard snake and excellent at cleaning behind furniture.
yelling near you recently posted..Get Your Balls Off My iPad!
101 Lara October 4, 2011 at 9:22 am: My co-workers and I read this every day to get our day started. It is inevitable that my “wheezing” laugh comes out and tears start running down my face. Where are people like you in my life? This kind of humor is priceless! Love it!
102 Brooke October 4, 2011 at 9:22 am: I like the way you roll.
Brooke recently posted..rural iphone photography
103 Anonymous October 4, 2011 at 9:22 am: this is absolutely hilarious.
104 Penbleth October 4, 2011 at 9:27 am: It’s not every day sign thief reporting is rewarded with a slutty snake – you make the magic happen. Like Disney, but less misogynistic and racist.
Penbleth recently posted..How much is fair?
105 Dangerboy October 4, 2011 at 9:29 am: I lost it on “gives hugs with mouth”. Beautiful, just beautiful. I love the way you bring joy to the world!
Dangerboy recently posted..5 Things I Think, October 3rd
106 Janice October 4, 2011 at 9:34 am: Hahahahaha, a missing poster for a missing poster. Awesome.
Janice recently posted..How to pick up a girl, Tip #3
107 Kelly O'Sullivan October 4, 2011 at 9:37 am: And the snake shall set you free…from Beyonce. It could happen. Love it, as always.
108 StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously? October 4, 2011 at 9:40 am: You are fucking hilarious.

And it’s like you really don’t get that you are as hilarious as you are.

*Sigh*

I needed that laugh. We’re realizing our dog is an alcoholic…

_______________________
StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously? recently posted..My Dog Is An Alcoholic
109 Maggi October 4, 2011 at 9:40 am: EPIC! I needed something to lift my spirits this morning. Thank you.
110 StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously? October 4, 2011 at 9:41 am: p.s. I say that mostly because you almost ALWAYS tag hilarious shit like this with:

“no one thinks this is funny but me”.

WRONG!
StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously? recently posted..My Dog Is An Alcoholic
111 Melissa October 4, 2011 at 9:44 am: I need to learn to not drink coffee while I read your posts. hilarious!
Melissa recently posted..Weeding Through the Market
112 Brian the Kwyjibo October 4, 2011 at 9:45 am: Hopefully someone will see the sign about your missing sign and help you get it back. Then you can give away the snake as a reward, and put the original sign back up, about the snake you found… but you won’t have him anymore, because he was a reward, so there’s no need for the original sign. And if there’s no need for it, why are you trying to get it back in the first place?

I’m getting dizzy, and I can’t tell if everything is working out perfectly or if you’re opening a terrifying conundrum. You’d better just keep Mr. Bitey. But get him a collar!
Brian the Kwyjibo recently posted..I’m Like, WAY Behind
113 Lisa October 4, 2011 at 9:47 am: So freakin hilarious i can hardly stand it! I wish i had a friend like you!
114 Ashley October 4, 2011 at 9:47 am: This kind of thing would never happen if people would put collars on their pets. Oh-wait, I feel like that point has been brought up before. If only I had a sign to reference.
Ashley recently posted..Act like a lady, think like a woman, because we all know that’s the smarter option.
115 awesomesauciness October 4, 2011 at 9:51 am: Now they’re stealing signs????

Oh, the huge manatee!!
awesomesauciness recently posted..Mom 911!!!!!!
116 Zenbuffy October 4, 2011 at 9:51 am: Could only be better if it had tiny paper tear off snakes at the bottom
Zenbuffy recently posted..“Don’t forget it was the chemo that cured you”
117 Home CEO October 4, 2011 at 9:58 am: Holy crap i just peed in my pants i laughed so hard. that was stellar.
118 Shan October 4, 2011 at 9:58 am: Bwahahaha..I can’t wait to see what happens next in this saga!
Shan recently posted..Man Of Steel
119 Dana October 4, 2011 at 9:59 am: LOVE it!!!! Can’t wait for the update!
Dana recently posted..Mechanical Pencils and ADHD Don’t Go Together….
120 Nemukins October 4, 2011 at 9:59 am: My god.

Why is this not on a milk carton yet?

Would handing out “Missing” fliers while wearing a Stormtrooper costume help? Cos I can TOTALLY do that. Someone just needs to hook a girl up with an empty Powerade bottle to pee in.
121 Angie Uncovered October 4, 2011 at 9:59 am: haha Love it. Please tell me this will be a recurring theme.
Angie Uncovered recently posted..No Carnival Job For Me: I Can’t Read Minds
122 Kernut the Blond October 4, 2011 at 10:04 am: LMAO! I want to take a R/L picture of this sign for my blog! I can’t wait to get to Texas in my RV. I just know it’s going to be a great state!

Do you know about the Waylon Jennings Museum and Drive-thru Liquor Store in Littlefield, TX? How can you not love a state that has drive-thru liquor store tributes to singers, and people concerned about pet snake posters.
Kernut the Blond recently posted..Mollie Lost Her Nipple In Purgatory But I Found It
123 Emily October 4, 2011 at 10:06 am: Thank goodness my monitor is 2′ away from my face… I just spit coffee from laughing. That’s what I get for reading your blog while consuming a hot beverage. My keyboard wasn’t so lucky. Hilarious!
124 Jenny October 4, 2011 at 10:06 am: Hi Jenny,
Thank You for all of your postings during the past week or so, you have literally kept me in stitches!
I have to remember the next time when one of our pets (we have two hamsters) go missing that you will make our Lost Sign for us:-)
Jenny recently posted..Thank You Dilaudid!!
125 Jennifer October 4, 2011 at 10:07 am: Oh gosh I needed this smile right now.
126 Cathy October 4, 2011 at 10:13 am: I’d be lookin’ for that sign on eBay…
127 Miss Yvonne October 4, 2011 at 10:17 am: “Gives hugs with mouth.”

That’s what people said about me in college. Weird.
Miss Yvonne recently posted..That Dog Is Running With Purpose
128 Parul October 4, 2011 at 10:21 am: Are you sure the rattler isnt related to Copernicus?

The whole hugs with his mouth seems too Copernicusian.
129 Courtney October 4, 2011 at 10:23 am: I don’t even know… what to say… I.WISH.I.HAD.YOUR.BRAIN. haha.
Courtney recently posted..Reason #6: Abs of Steel
130 Nikki October 4, 2011 at 10:25 am: Love
131 Tiffany October 4, 2011 at 10:26 am: LOL, now all we need is someone to take a picture of your sign and post it somewhere.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany
Tiffany recently posted..Are You Ready For An Idiot
132 Ashleen October 4, 2011 at 10:27 am: Horrible sign stealer. But now I must admit to my own stealing of signs.This is so much funnier than the passive aggressive war that I have going with my neighbor. She has apparently decided that unauthorized use of our dumpster is a major issue. Despite the fact that I am pretty sure the problem was a one time thing when someone was moving out. So she has been putting no trespassing signs up on the garbage. Initially written in sharpie on paper towels. Which I thought was ridiculous, so I tore it down. And it went back up. The situation has escalated over the course of three weeks to multiple types of signs taped, glued, and plastered on the dumpster. With significant effort expended to make them indestructible. All of which I have been taking down. I don’t go out of my way, I just get rid of the sign if I happen to notice a new one up when I take the trash out. It has to be driving her crazy. It amuses me, but I do understand that I am a little unbalanced in this situation. She and I have a history of disagreement over much more substantial issues than signs on dumpsters (e.g. mismanagement of condo association funds, calling the police on my plumber and saying he was breaking into the building – she got a ticket from the police for that because they sent multiple police cars with sirens and then she stupidly admitted to knowing exactly who he was and who let him into the building.) So I find this to be a relatively harmless release of my aggression toward her. And it is sneaky, so she can’t actually pin it on me. And start screaming at me. Which she has done before. Maybe one day she will move away…would the snake be interested in a snack? She also has this horrible cat…
133 Charity October 4, 2011 at 10:39 am: Um. I need this Tshirt. That is all.
Charity recently posted..Cuntzilla
134 nicole October 4, 2011 at 10:39 am: you are hysterical!! i want to live in your neighborhood. giant metal chickens, missing rattlesnakes, never a dull moment. i love it!!
135 Abby October 4, 2011 at 10:43 am: That’s some good ole fashion communication right there!
Abby recently posted..MAID OF disHONOR
136 Neeroc October 4, 2011 at 10:44 am: Before you go giving that rattlesnake away can I borrow it to take care of a little mouse problem I might be having? I’m thinking a mouth-hug is exactly what mickey needs. Also – this plan? Foolproof.
Neeroc recently posted..Maybe we’ll just move in to a hotel for the week
137 Justin October 4, 2011 at 10:45 am: (digitally written in letters cut out of online magazines) I have the snake. And the sign. Bring $500,000 in pre-1964 dimes to the corner of Lexington and 5th at midnight on the full moon after next, or I make boots out of the snake and an origami dolphin out of the sign……wait, I have big feet…..do you have another snake?
138 sarah October 4, 2011 at 10:50 am: Just fantastic. And now i can tell my husband he was wrong. Animals do give hugs with their mouths. He was all, ” let it go, it doesn’t like you” Now i know it just likes me better than him. I think I just won.
139 Justin October 4, 2011 at 10:58 am: In case your town doesn’t have a Lexington & 5th, or if it does, but there isnt a corner there, then leave the dimes at the nearest town that does. And make it three full moons from now. I have a dentist appointment the day after the other midnight, and I don’t want to be all tired.
Justin recently posted..Cooking for the Extremely Pregnant: Redux……..I Have No Idea What Redux Means……I’ll Put a Dollar in the DoucheBag Jar
140 Jen October 4, 2011 at 11:00 am: You seriously have no idea how much I look forward to your posts. I always end up laughing out loud and having to share it with others in the office. Thank you for your humor – in a world gone stupidly mad, you are the bright part of an otherwise annoying day.
141 Jenna@CallHerHappy October 4, 2011 at 11:01 am: I found something of Copernicus’ at the Goodwill yesterday. I will make sure I email it to you as soon as I stop forgetting to.

Jenna
callherhappy.com
Jenna@CallHerHappy recently posted..Would You Do Me the Honor?
142 SisterMerryHellish October 4, 2011 at 11:03 am: And THAT’S why you’re the Bloggess and we’re not!

Fucking hilarious!
SisterMerryHellish recently posted..It’s Nippley In Here
143 Heather in Ottawa October 4, 2011 at 11:06 am: What if someone actually returns the sign and you *have* to reward them? Hey – stranger things have happened to you… and you know it.
Heather in Ottawa recently posted..Little (Big) Girl Lost
144 Becky (Ms Batman) October 4, 2011 at 11:07 am: I am sure you just put a huge ass wrinkle in the space time continuum. And please don’t tell me what that means, I think it’s from Back to the Future or something.
Becky (Ms Batman) recently posted..Who wore them better, Me or Johnny Depp?
145 E M Foster October 4, 2011 at 11:07 am: OMG!! I’m glad I’m home alone reading this post! I get looked at strangely when I laugh out loud for seemingly no reason. If they only knew…
146 White Tiger Diva October 4, 2011 at 11:07 am: I love it! You need little snake tongues that you tear off to aid in your search! I mean seriously… Smooches Jenny
147 Josh October 4, 2011 at 11:10 am: Very nice. Reminds me of a “found Alligator” sign that I actually saw in Charlotte one time!
Josh recently posted..7 Wonders Review
148 Tammy October 4, 2011 at 11:24 am: So, do we see a new companion for the three kitties who are the boss of you OR do you have a new pair of snake skinned boots? Great post!
149 XLMIC October 4, 2011 at 11:26 am: I’m with previous commenter Stephanie…clearly you filed this one incorrectly
We’re ALL finding it funny!
XLMIC recently posted..T H E
150 Tina, The Escrow Goddess October 4, 2011 at 11:33 am: Epic!
Tina, The Escrow Goddess recently posted..Zombie Apocalypse Insurance
151 Krista October 4, 2011 at 11:36 am: That is awesome! Part of me hopes someone steals this sign just to see how far this can go!
152 Cassie October 4, 2011 at 11:39 am: “Very friendly. Gives hugs with mouth.” Hysterical!
Cassie recently posted..they need to call it "going dmvish" instead of postal
153 Becca October 4, 2011 at 11:39 am: Please, please, please make me a T-Shirt of the reward poster. Thank you.
Becca recently posted..I Didn’t Quite Cry Like A Little Girl….
154 Paula @ thewilyweez October 4, 2011 at 11:45 am: I have no doubt that if you ever decided to run for president you would win. Not only because you are hilarious and everyone would love you, but because you are the most persistent person I have ever seen and would wear down the opposition through cheery, but slightly homicidal propaganda.
Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted..Nudity, Wizards, and Weddings Oh My!
155 SJ October 4, 2011 at 11:49 am: You need to unite the snake with Copernicus. That would be an awesome pairing.
SJ recently posted..You Are What You Wear
156 JustHeather October 4, 2011 at 11:51 am: LOL! My husband said the rattlesnake plays music too.
JustHeather recently posted..Like a broken record
157 addgirl October 4, 2011 at 11:56 am: I am pretty sure I want the T-shirt for this one. If you find the snake owner- will you interview him (you know it’s a him) just for us? Please?
addgirl recently posted..Becoming American- So I can leave
158 Whitney Soup October 4, 2011 at 11:59 am: it’s sweet of you to care so much about someone else’s sign.
Whitney Soup recently posted..You Know What They Say About Girls With Big Heads
159 Lorca Damon October 4, 2011 at 12:00 pm: Wow. My husband told me lots of people give mouth hugs and I never believed him. Maybe I should be giving more mouth hugs. I mean, if snakes can do it, why can’t I? Right? RIGHT?
Lorca Damon recently posted..Have You Ever Been Tested for Stupid?
160 jacqui October 4, 2011 at 12:00 pm: I really hope you find your sign. People can be so insensitive sometimes.
jacqui recently posted..Achieving the Impossible…
161 Kristy Lynn @ Gastronomical Sovereignty October 4, 2011 at 12:06 pm: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you are very clever. hahaha.. love it!! Thanks for making my morning and soggy cereal so much better.
Kristy Lynn @ Gastronomical Sovereignty recently posted..not my blog but your blog: isavirtue blog swap
162 Distance Chick October 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm: *somebody* needs to form a neighborhood watch program in that damn town…
Distance Chick recently posted..money for boobs…
163 Dani October 4, 2011 at 12:26 pm: Oh my GOD… I hope your sign is okay!! Maybe it just went out for cigarettes and will be right back? I’m sure the lure of a free rattlesnake as a reward will be enough incentive to have it returned safely back to you. I’m praying….
Dani recently posted..When little dogs think they’re alone…
164 Kristin October 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm: I want to live in your neighborhood. Life would never be dull.
165 Lori Stefanac (Lola) October 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm: I TOTALLY lol’d at this one and I do NOT lol in response to blog posts. Really. Like never. And also? People with no sense of humor suck rat balls. That is all.
Lori Stefanac (Lola) recently posted..Lame Ass Lola
166 Anonymous October 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm: That’s just funny.. but….sounds like someone you know. Considering how it hugs…just a thought.
167 Gia October 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm: Hahahahahahaha. This blows. You are too smart.
Gia recently posted..Physical Therapy Assistant
168 Charity October 4, 2011 at 12:45 pm: You should totally buy some rubber snakes and toss them about the neighborhood and hide in the bushes, taking photographs of people slamming on their brakes to RUN OVER the rubber snakes.
Charity recently posted..Cuntzilla
169 Simone October 4, 2011 at 12:55 pm: there are no words for your brilliance.
Simone recently posted..Cats fight way better than women
170 Paula in MN October 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm: Just when I think I can’t laugh any harder, you write a new post. Brilliant!
171 Shelley October 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm: Maybe Rick Perry shot it with his teeny tiny gun.
172 Jen October 4, 2011 at 1:01 pm: That kinda made my brain hurt just a little right now. But that could just be the Red Bull talkin’.
Jen recently posted..6 Degrees of Eating Bacon: Part 2
173 Ladybug Red October 4, 2011 at 1:02 pm: You are going to inspire legions of your minions to post neighborhood signs.

This is a truly beautiful day for earth. And rattlesnakes. And signs.

Bravo!

Let the signage begin!
174 Tyra October 4, 2011 at 1:04 pm: You are awesomeness covered in awesome sauce.
175 the muskrat October 4, 2011 at 1:04 pm: Jenny: 1
Cranky Neighbor: 0
the muskrat recently posted..the last of the kits
176 Beth October 4, 2011 at 1:09 pm: Would you be my neighbor??? No really, the people around me have no personality what-so-ever!! Your antics would be greatly appreciated by me!!
177 Misty October 4, 2011 at 1:09 pm: Now see, this is the problem. You probably should have initially called the ASPCA or PETA instead of informing the bad snake parents that you found their snake. I’m sure it was them that took down the sign since they do not want their child-snake returned to them. Probably because of those excessively loving hugs he is always giving with his mouth. I mean, if you can’t properly care for a lovey mouth hugging snakey-poo, then you should really be reported to the authorities, I say. Plus, they are larcenous bastards as well. Where do you live, Jenny . . . in the ghetto?
Misty recently posted..Bringing it . . . again!
178 Bridgette October 4, 2011 at 1:10 pm: Before I read all the witty comments from your incredibly talented and witty minions, I have to tell you that I LOVE YOU JENNY! You make me smile and then my memories of reading your blog make me smile! My 13 year old son asks every night… “Mom, read me The Bloggess” which is sure to send me to hell (or at least “bad parenting classes”) but I don’t care. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
179 Andrea October 4, 2011 at 1:13 pm: That rocks. Really. It does. I LOL’d.
Andrea recently posted..75 days later.
180 Bennet October 4, 2011 at 1:31 pm: I read this post (and the snake sign one) to my kids. They thought it was hilarious. They will probably be quoting it the rest of the day.
Also, my daughter wants to send you a bunch of rubber snakes so you’ll have something real to give whoever finds your missing sign.
Also also, my kids want to put up their own signs around our neighborhood. This could get interesting.
181 Amber Deschamps October 4, 2011 at 1:31 pm: Mouth hugs are the best!!!!!!
Amber Deschamps recently posted..I am going to stab someone in their ocular orifices with a sharpened cucumber.
182 joshua m. neff October 4, 2011 at 1:37 pm: And this is why I think you’re so fucking awesome. I love you.
joshua m. neff recently posted..The Mellow Man of the Day
183 Jaime October 4, 2011 at 1:45 pm: I hope someone comes forward. I mean, it can be very upsetting when you’ve lost your sign …
Jaime recently posted..Maybe you can come up with your own title. I’m spent.
184 Charity October 4, 2011 at 1:48 pm: I’m telling you guys, I’d buy rubber snakes. And then, in the dead of night, I think I’d go put one on the front porch of every house in the neighborhood.
Charity recently posted..Cuntzilla
185 Kirsten October 4, 2011 at 1:57 pm: FTW.

And it’s your community spirit that makes your neighborhood so happy.
Kirsten recently posted..Not my bag, you can hold it if you want
186 Susan, Super Earthling October 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm: “in no one thinks this is funny but me,Random crap”

Nope. Totally wrong category, Jenny. LOL
Susan, Super Earthling recently posted..Why my Husband’s Avatar Resembles Jesus in a Jumpsuit with Work Boots
187 OldDogNewTits October 4, 2011 at 2:06 pm: Sadly, I think the answer to your question can be found in the original sign. Because we know that the snake (who may or may not be named Tiberious) is “very angry” and comes “from a bad home,” I think HE likely absconded with the sign as he has no interest in returning to this so-called home. Perhaps he is looking to earn his GED and strike out in his own in the world. God, I hope he doesn’t get mixed up in drugs or prostitution. I expect we’ll be seeing the Lifetime Movie soon.
OldDogNewTits recently posted..If Nerds could be Superheroes …
188 Tristen October 4, 2011 at 2:09 pm: That just MADE my entire day! I needed that – thank you! )
Tristen recently posted..October Baby
189 Angela Young October 4, 2011 at 2:20 pm: I SWEAR THAT WE THINK ALIKE!! LOVE IT!!
190 Kathleen October 4, 2011 at 2:45 pm: Oh, what fun. I can’t wait for your block party!
Kathleen recently posted..Cemetery Light
191 Veronica October 4, 2011 at 2:51 pm: I hope everyone who sees that is as amused as I am right now. So cool.
Veronica recently posted..Showcase Tasmania: Anvers Chocolates + giveaway
192 Dawn Marie October 4, 2011 at 2:53 pm: When the sign returns, how will you deliver said snake? The one who “gives hugs with mouth”. I would very much like to see the trade off on that one.
Dawn Marie recently posted..Teaser Tuesdays – The Night Circus
193 Rose October 4, 2011 at 2:55 pm: LURRRRRVE IT!
194 Suzy October 4, 2011 at 3:09 pm: I saw that snake in my agent’s office. He was being cast in Snakes On A Sign.

This town is so unfair to women.
Suzy recently posted..Please Stop Hugging Me
195 Jami October 4, 2011 at 3:11 pm: You should move to a better – or at least a little looser – neighborhood because there are obviously some anal-retentive douche canoes in your neighborhood and they don’t deserve to have you as a neighbor!

Of course, if you stay, this sign will also come down because people who rip down funny signs are just too closed-minded to leave well enough alone and then IT. WILL. BE. ON! and I can’t see it ending any way but badly as the surveillance camera (partly paid for by YOUR homeowner’s association dues) catches “someone wearing a wig” in the act of putting up yet another replacement sign and the rent-a-cop then comes and hauls you off to the county lockup where Victor will have to bail you out. Or maybe that’s not a bad ending after all because it would provide plenty of raw material for your blog and that would make us all laugh. Keep up the good work!
Jami recently posted..Sharing is caring
196 Charity October 4, 2011 at 3:19 pm: Kinda makes you want to try to hug someone with your mouth though, doesn’t it?
Charity recently posted..Cuntzilla
197 hogsatemysister October 4, 2011 at 3:38 pm: Did anyone ever tell you that you could probably get blood from a stone? Or venom from a poster gag? Or possibly rust from a chicken? Because you could.
hogsatemysister recently posted..Maggot-related Moosedawg Dodges Death Sentence
198 Britt October 4, 2011 at 3:49 pm: I’m glad you’re being so proactive.
Someone needs to understand the importance of snake reunions.
Maybe the person who advised to ‘keep collars on your pets’ took the sign after going home only to realize *her/his* snake was missing and was sans-collar. It was likely an act of shame. Snake-reunion hatred and shame.
Britt recently posted..Daytime Television: What a Shitshow.
199 GirltoMom- Heidi October 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm: I have your snake. It’s trying to fuck me. Please advise.
GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted..Prayer Requests Being Taken
200 Terri October 4, 2011 at 4:10 pm: Jenny, just how do your synapses fire?? Too funny…thank you for the laugh, while I spit out my wine…
201 Sara Cate October 4, 2011 at 4:21 pm: I just found your blog today, and I haven’t stopped laughing out loud from your posts (not like hehe lol, but seriously laughing out loud at work – coworker asked if I was alright). Hysterical. Period.
202 Karyn October 4, 2011 at 4:43 pm: Now there’s the Texans Ive come to know and love… the thieving kind! I can’t wait to hear about the reunion with your sign.
Karyn recently posted..Don’t Tell Me, We Don’t Know How To Have A Good Time
203 Jo Denson October 4, 2011 at 5:00 pm: This is why you should put collars on your signs.
Jo Denson recently posted..The Most Fun You Can Have at the Doctor’s
204 Carri October 4, 2011 at 5:01 pm: Does the snake do laundry? Because I just pissed myself.
Carri recently posted..You Have Something on Your Face. Again.
205 MomTwoGirls October 4, 2011 at 5:14 pm: Brilliant!! I almost choked on my popcorn!

Note to self: Reading The Bloggess could be dangerous to your health!! Bah ha ha
In future, I’ll make sure I’m not eating when I open up your Blog.
206 Becky October 4, 2011 at 5:15 pm: Oh how I admire your persistence!
207 Charity October 4, 2011 at 5:17 pm: Heidi, stop letting the snake slither around in your boobs. honestly.
Charity recently posted..WTF are you looking for: Part 2
208 Meg October 4, 2011 at 5:41 pm: Look out for a nasty ransom note…. Be strong Jenny and good luck!
209 GirltoMom- Heidi October 4, 2011 at 5:41 pm: I’m just a girl. Standing in front of a snake. Asking it to face hug me.

People think snakes would be slimy in between your boobs, but nope- silky.
GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted..A Prayer for Jo
210 Brandina October 4, 2011 at 6:16 pm: You know, I was thinking the other day how just totally awesome it would be to meet with you for coffee and hear the things that you would talk about while I try to not choke on my coffee……

but then I realized that I wouldn’t be able to come up with anything funny to say……

This is hilarious….can’t wait to see what ‘the neighbors’ do next.
Brandina recently posted..15 Day Challenge: Day 15
211 Possum October 4, 2011 at 6:55 pm: At this rate you are going to become a tourist destination!
Possum recently posted..Jay walking into the light
212 Thomas October 4, 2011 at 7:18 pm: Quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen all day today. Really. Seriously. I do think this is genuine funny stuff!

(Now to subscribe to your blog… Yay!)
213 Cynthia October 4, 2011 at 7:21 pm: I just love how you spread humor and others pick it up and carry it on. You have me laughing out loud!

Cynthia
http://www.cynthiasblog.com
http://www.theapptutor.com
Cynthia recently posted..10 Reasons I am Buying the New iPhone 4S
214 Charity October 4, 2011 at 7:33 pm: Heidi, did I tell you I dyed my hair red this weekend? Just sayin’.
Charity recently posted..Spangleshield
215 rita October 4, 2011 at 7:49 pm: I like to give mouth hugs, but usually I don’t murder people doing it. LOL
rita recently posted..I sort of have a green thumb.
216 Elicia October 4, 2011 at 7:54 pm: I agree, I think this is *exactly* how wormholes are discovered. It’s like that song little kids sing about the friendship circle that goes round and round with no end. But hilarious. And potentially dangerous. And slightly confusing.
Maybe in the next photo you should have a picture of said “reward snake” positioned in a circle. Make sure he’s wearing a collar. Captioned “Free Wormhole with your Large Rattlesnake Reward”.
Make sure to dump lots of glitter in the center of the snake-circle. Glitter makes magic, just like with vampires.
217 Mary October 4, 2011 at 7:57 pm: I’m taking a wine class right now and I feel that “very bitey angry rattlesnake” may be a component that we pick up in different wines from the Texas wine country. I will suggest this as a flavor in our next wine class.
Mary recently posted..Chateau St. Jean Cabernet 2005
218 melanie October 4, 2011 at 8:06 pm: You are the funniest person on earth. Hands down.
219 Holy City Sinner October 4, 2011 at 8:10 pm: Brilliant
Holy City Sinner recently posted..Help Raise Money for Komen Race for the Cure
220 Paula BeautifulDisaster October 4, 2011 at 8:14 pm: And now: on to milk cartons.
221 eosaja October 4, 2011 at 8:35 pm: you do realize that you are deconstructing the blog and bringing the social network back to the bulletin board? bravo!
eosaja recently posted..aargh
222 C.J. October 4, 2011 at 8:37 pm: Are you sure that’s a bulletin board and not some homeless man’s burlap sack?
C.J. recently posted..Just beat me into unconsciousness already.
223 Jaime October 4, 2011 at 8:40 pm: you’re awesome… nuff said.
Jaime recently posted..for the love of a different view… my passion
224 Kei October 4, 2011 at 8:43 pm: Heeere’s your sign
225 Pam October 4, 2011 at 8:53 pm: You would be my very best friend if you lived in Longboat Key, Florida!
226 Maura @evewaspartiallyright.blogspot.com October 4, 2011 at 8:55 pm: You know its funny when you find yourself coming back periodically not just to see what other people have said – but to read that damn sign again.

*seriously unladylike snort*
Maura @evewaspartiallyright.blogspot.com recently posted..Food Day – October 24th, 2011
227 AmazingGreis October 4, 2011 at 9:09 pm: hahaha!

I heart you!
228 Thomas October 4, 2011 at 9:24 pm: that poor anal bulletin board monitor. Bet they didn’t see that coming.

Do you think we’ll see a posting declaring what postings are appropriate for this bulletin board in the vein of “your wrong/your wrong”?
229 Laine October 4, 2011 at 9:37 pm: Jen, are you simply “blessed” with this comedic brilliance or are you assisted with medicinal aids. And, if Beyonce comes up missing, what would your BOLO poster look like?
230 Trish October 4, 2011 at 9:39 pm: Jenny,
I LOVE you, but I HATE snakes. Thank you for making me laugh, the world would be boring without you.
231 DogsOnDrugs.com October 4, 2011 at 10:03 pm: Cah-lassic.
DogsOnDrugs.com recently posted..Evaluating the 2012 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Nominees
232 Rai October 4, 2011 at 10:04 pm: I was having a really shitty night.
Then I read this.
My night is now wonderful.
Thank you.
Rai recently posted..I’m a fucking humanitarian
233 Shanna October 4, 2011 at 10:15 pm: I think “I might be seizing”……LOL! Best way to end a night, a good seize and a bitey mouth hug! Priceless!
234 Molly October 4, 2011 at 10:36 pm: Srsly. Dying.
235 Ciarra October 4, 2011 at 10:47 pm: Lol, I wish I could put you in my pocket and go on adventures together!
Ciarra recently posted..Rough morning with Dale
236 Vesta Vayne October 4, 2011 at 11:03 pm: Hahaha! Aw, I bet the HOA loves you!
Vesta Vayne recently posted..You can eat off my floor but stay away from the Big Ass Book
237 Sarcasm Goddess October 4, 2011 at 11:10 pm: My love of you has officially grown to the obsessive unhealthy level. Oh who am I kidding, that happened months ago.
Sarcasm Goddess recently posted..Tis the Season to Crap Your Pants…or the Bed
238 Sarcasm Goddess October 4, 2011 at 11:14 pm: You know the feeling when you’re writing a comment and then the computer is all, “PUBLISH” and you’re all, “no no, I wasn’t finished yet, computer” and then it’s all, “too bad, I’m publishing anyway,” and then “you’re all FUCK YOU COMPUTER,” and then you debate whether you should publish another comment with the rest of what you were going to say in the first comment but instead write a comment about a conversation with your computer?

Yeah, me too.
Sarcasm Goddess recently posted..Tis the Season to Crap Your Pants…or the Bed
239 Cheryl D. October 5, 2011 at 12:04 am: No, you didn’t!

Oh, of course you did! That’s why I read this blog! LOL
Cheryl D. recently posted..Put Down that Book!
240 Tracie October 5, 2011 at 1:20 am: Genius. Simply genius.
Tracie recently posted..Breast Cancer: This Is Judy’s Story
241 RebeccaLK October 5, 2011 at 3:21 am: Aww the rattlesnake issue? My husband would find a way to turn that into something sexual. He always does. I think your sign was hysterical! I find it even more hysterical that the person responded. It reminds me of the time I saw a sign in our residential area that said, “Goat For Sale.” I really wanted to check it out… kinda like you do when you are buying a car….lmao
242 Peta October 5, 2011 at 3:45 am: I’ve never lost a sign or a sign about a lost sign. I did loose my air guitar at work. I even got all my team together and asked them if anyone had seen my air guitar. One of them is a smartass, he wanted to know what colour it is. Orange of course, they’d only seen a purple one so obviously that wasn’t mine. I still haven’t found it. I thought that I might find it soon so I rang the local musical instrument shop and asked them how much it would be to get it tuned when I find it because it is lost somewhere in an industrial kitchen and it would probably be greasy or wet.
The guy thought about it for a couple of seconds and then said “Eighty Dollars” and he’d need to keep it for a couple of days. I said “Seriously $80 to tune an air guitar…?”
“yep” he said “$80, it’s a standard fee for air guitars no matter the brand” and laughed.
Just goes to show our boss shouldn’t leave us alone and bored…hang on I am the boss….ummmm.
Peta recently posted..Spring is sprung
243 Indignant Rant October 5, 2011 at 4:02 am: That… that couldn’t be… it looks like my missing sign, but someone has added stuff about a snake and a DIFFERENT sign on it…

It used to say something about a collection of animal figurines I once had for sale.

I, I hardly recognised it, I mean it’s been a while and things changed, how it got all the way over there is beyond me.

Cellulose fibre IS pretty determined I guess…
Indignant Rant recently posted..She also hates babies, apparently.
244 Celestine October 5, 2011 at 4:47 am: Thank you for making me laugh..I hate snake ..I do think this is genuine funny stuff!Keep on posting..I hope many people will like this..
Celestine recently posted..murano glass
245 Lynn from For Love or Funny October 5, 2011 at 5:00 am: What will you do if someone takes the bulletin board?
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..Poor excuses to complain
246 Beth October 5, 2011 at 5:28 am: Aww someone doesn’t love animals! Maybe a few snake hugs will make it better
Beth recently posted..It’s Tuesday and I’m Kinda Nuts
247 EdT. October 5, 2011 at 5:51 am: Can’t wait to see the “Rattlesnake. Very bitey. Gives hugs with mouth” T-shirt in your Zazzle store.

~EdT.
EdT. recently posted..WW: Getting Along
248 Daddy Scratches October 5, 2011 at 7:01 am: If I could vacation anywhere I wanted, I’d pick “Inside Jenny’s brain.” And while I was there, I’d try to steal the secret recipe for Be The Funniest Person Ever.
Daddy Scratches recently posted..Plan B
249 Suniverse October 5, 2011 at 7:04 am: I hope you find your sign.

I remember when I lost my sign. It was the saddest day ever. EVER.
Suniverse recently posted..Midweek Update – Because I Can’t Do Anything Right
250 Charity October 5, 2011 at 7:06 am: I still don’t see this in the zazzle store.
Charity recently posted..A little help from my friends
251 JennyA October 5, 2011 at 7:21 am: Gives hugs with mouth!!!!

I’m going to go light some incense and pray to St. James Garfield for the speedy return of the lost sign.
252 Jenny October 5, 2011 at 7:25 am: The media should report more stories like this one–maybe then they’d get my attention!
Jenny recently posted..Life in the 1800′s
253 Jonah Gibson October 5, 2011 at 7:26 am: I have a link to your blog posted on my blog because I feel that after people have been sufficiently depressed by my rambling drivel they ought to have a place to go for some actual entertainment. You never disappoint. Today, however, I was scanning the titles of linked blog entries and came to yours that said ‘MISSING’, except that, at the instant I saw it, a ginormous floater sailed across my right eye and what I saw instead of ‘MISSING’ was ‘KISSING’. WTF? Was there a rip in the fabric of the space/time continuum? Had the Earth spun off its axis and graves been opened for the start of the Zombie Apocalypse? I can’t tell you how truly frightening this title was. I had a visceral reaction. There might have been some significant scrotum shrinkage. I managed to get the little arrow over the link, but I couldn’t make myself click it until the floater finally drifted to port revealing the lovely ‘M’.
Jonah Gibson recently posted..Conversations with Bean: Sorting the Bitches
254 Anonymous October 5, 2011 at 7:31 am: That is why I have a shovel with me any time I am out in the yard. Live in the country and do not like any snake around my doors to the house.
255 Manon Wilkinson October 5, 2011 at 7:39 am: Holy Hannah!!! I am literally crying from laughing!! You truly are one twisted sister and I adore you for it!!
256 Lisa October 5, 2011 at 7:58 am: I can’t wait to see what kind of response THIS sign gets! Do keep us posted!
Lisa recently posted..Writing? Not Writing? Am I ? Do I ? Should I ?… Egads!
257 Jenni October 5, 2011 at 8:10 am: I am dying. And pissed. You are too funny. : *(
258 Naked Girl in a Dress October 5, 2011 at 8:21 am: Awesome. Can’t wait to hear what happens next.
Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted..The Road to Happiness
259 Gina @ Special Happens October 5, 2011 at 9:37 am: All I can do is laugh…can’t wait to see the response.
Gina @ Special Happens recently posted..“Why My Son With Autism Inspires Me” by Emily Vanek of ColoradoMoms.com – A Guest Post
260 Jennie Jackson October 5, 2011 at 9:46 am: Oh I so want a snake hug with his mouth!
Jennie Jackson recently posted..And that’s why I wear comfortable shoes…
261 Jason October 5, 2011 at 9:57 am: Stop it – you just made me pee my pants from laughing so hard (and I am at work)
262 Susan D. October 5, 2011 at 10:27 am: I heard from a reliable source that Wil Wheaton stole your sign. He’s jealous because you’ve gone so many posts without mentioning him lately. Maybe he would accept a ball of twine in return for your sign?
263 Plano Mom October 5, 2011 at 10:33 am: Awesome idea. Let’s get it on a milk carton too.

Just want you to know that “only the smart people will cringe” shirt is now being worn proudly by my 13-year-old son, at middle school. He’s supposed to be keeping tabs on which teachers cringe.
264 Susan D. October 5, 2011 at 10:36 am: Jenny—you gotta check out this link about signs/guns/and neighbors/ and neighbors who object to signs. You’ll LOVE it.
http://www.northeastshooters.com/vbulletin/threads/82475-The-Next-Door-Neighbor-Hates-GUNS…-Hysterical!!!
265 Wendy October 5, 2011 at 10:37 am: You light up my life. Bwahahahahaha!
Wendy recently posted..Wow! Where have I been for the past 7 months?
266 Charity October 5, 2011 at 10:56 am: I think it’s important to go ahead and call the police. It’s time they put out an APB for the sign. Also, as another commenter posted earlier, *this* is exactly why we can’t have nice things.
Charity recently posted..Holy. Fuck.
267 Susan Says... October 5, 2011 at 11:08 am: But whatever happened to Tiberios? And why do they spell his name like that?
Susan Says… recently posted..Tales From the Road
268 Charity October 5, 2011 at 12:14 pm: LOL @ Susan Says
Charity recently posted..Wow, that’s some really stupid shit!
269 sheryl A. VanVleck October 5, 2011 at 12:39 pm: Have you checked eBay? That’s where I would have it now, if I lived anywhere near you.

Please excuse me if this has already been suggested. You get more comments then I have time to read.
sheryl A. VanVleck recently posted..OMG, MAGGOTS!!!
270 Charity October 5, 2011 at 1:44 pm: Or, you *could* try Craigslist. In the personals…
Charity recently posted..Wow, that’s some really stupid shit!
271 Cat @Breakfast to Bed October 5, 2011 at 3:25 pm: I saw this sign and immediately thought of you. If you lived in BKlyn and not TX.
http://wp.me/p1BXgz-hT
Cat @Breakfast to Bed recently posted..Nuns With Guns.
272 Charity October 5, 2011 at 3:25 pm: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAA!! BRILLLLLIANT!

They are totally going to fine your ass. I can’t WAIT to see hte nasty gram! HAHAH
Charity recently posted..Wow, that’s some really stupid shit!
273 Kerry October 5, 2011 at 3:26 pm: BAHAHAHAHA!! You know what…. I really needed this right now
Kerry recently posted..Somewhere between Guilt and Gratitude… thats where I live.
274 Bad Influence Speaks October 5, 2011 at 3:26 pm: They have severely underestimated your stubbornness and perseverance. I’m going to enjoy watching this battle.

*pulling out popcorn, soda, and a comfy chair*
Bad Influence Speaks recently posted..Haven: The Tides that Bind
275 Terri in SF October 5, 2011 at 3:26 pm: Next thing you know, they’re gonna create rules about posting things in the glass enclosed posting place. And when you break them, they will come for you.
276 LovelyLici1986 October 5, 2011 at 3:27 pm: Ahahahahaha. HILARIOUS
Friggin’ morons. They have NO IDEA what they’re up against. AT all.
277 Christy October 5, 2011 at 3:28 pm: WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO??!!ELEVENTY!?!!
Christy recently posted..Water Wars
278 Alan October 5, 2011 at 3:28 pm: Your brain gives me happies.

Thank you.
279 Emma October 5, 2011 at 3:28 pm: Bloody Brilliant! Couldn’t stop laughing, love the way your brain works please always use your powers for good!
Emma recently posted..40, The gift that keeps on giving!
280 Jessica October 5, 2011 at 3:29 pm: Best missing poster ever.
Jessica recently posted..Doctor Who Block Print TARDIS Linocut Poster 8 x 10 inches Blue Ink
281 Tami October 5, 2011 at 3:29 pm: If I lived in your neighborhood I would definitely be stealing your flyers. Everyone needs a good battle, lol!
282 Jen October 5, 2011 at 3:31 pm: ((s-l-o-w c-l-a-p)) Nathan Fillion would be so proud.
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken by Me and My Friends: Part 3
283 Deacon Blue October 5, 2011 at 3:32 pm: If you keep making these signs much longer, you’ll either have a piece of M.C. Escher artwork on your hands, a portal to Hell, or a rift in the space-time continuum (the last two of which might also lead you to a world ruled by metal chickens)
Deacon Blue recently posted..I’ll Take the Sniper over the Carpet Bombing, Thanks
284 Stephanie October 5, 2011 at 3:32 pm: Kudos to you, woman!! This is TOTALLY something I would do.
Stephanie recently posted..This Post Brought to You by, Well, You. Your Questions Answered!
285 Nichole October 5, 2011 at 3:33 pm: some people have no sense of humor. : /
286 Erica O October 5, 2011 at 3:33 pm: You know, if you start signing your signs, then the vandals can sell them on ebay and your fans will bid on them which will pump money into your community and you’ll be a hero!
287 Ashley October 5, 2011 at 3:33 pm: It’s like Inception but with signs. It’s a sign within a sign.
288 Bad Mama Genny October 5, 2011 at 3:33 pm: I’m going to be really fucking disappointed if someone doesn’t steal this sign now.
289 Erin October 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm: I’m pretty sure no one is taking your signs seriously due to the devastating lack of glitter. At this point you may need to employee puffy paint in addition to shit tons of glitter. Glittery rattle snake drawings = serious business
290 magpie October 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm: I can’t wait to see what’s next.
291 Tom Stronach October 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm: Oh stop it you are probably driving some poor sod to distraction with your antics you deliciously wicked woman
Tom Stronach recently posted..Mr Fat – an update
292 Larry Lourcey October 5, 2011 at 3:35 pm: That is so freakin funny. The best part is you are driving somebody completely nuts. The person who wrote the comment about the collars is pretty funny also .
Larry Lourcey recently posted..Changing Your Perspective
293 Mrs. Mustache October 5, 2011 at 3:36 pm: You forgot to add “Or the Rattlesnake gets it.” You catch more flies with a hammer than honey.
Mrs. Mustache recently posted..I Got A Cold For My Birthday. And Bird Flu, But That’s Something Completely Different.
294 Bill Dorman October 5, 2011 at 3:37 pm: Perseverance, I think you can win…….
Bill Dorman recently posted..Your link bait smells like stink bait
295 Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd October 5, 2011 at 3:37 pm: You should make your next sign, put it in an envelope, and attach it to that sign, and write a note asking the person who steals this sign to go ahead and put up the one in the envelope. I just hate to see you have to waste your time when the inevitable happens.
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..I accidentally named my blog after a Japanese serial killer.
296 Alicia Stavropoulos October 5, 2011 at 3:38 pm: Sarcasm, irony and a good dose of Jenny orneriness at Theo best! What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on that wall to witness the guilty culpret’s face when they see the new signs. You keep me laughing, even on my worst days! Thanks for being you.
297 mousebert October 5, 2011 at 3:41 pm: “Mainly because I work from home and have an entire ream of copy paper at my disposal. I can do this all damn day, vandals.”

You should add that to the next one. Also consider stapling copies on telephone poles, etc.

On the other hand, removing it may be due to frustration since you leave no contact information. Create one on gmail, etc and post it so they can email you.
298 Alicia Stavropoulos October 5, 2011 at 3:41 pm: Sarcasm, irony and a good dose of Jenny orneriness at its best! What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on that wall to witness the guilty culpret’s face when they see the new signs. You keep me laughing, even on my worst days! Thanks for being you.
299 Anne October 5, 2011 at 3:42 pm: This makes me wish you lived in my neighborhood. Provided you left the snakes where they are and didn’t bring them with you, that is.
Anne recently posted..POTTERMORE!
300 AmberSD October 5, 2011 at 3:43 pm: Hilarious….totally something I would do. I have found my new favorite blog. Kindred spirits in futility…
301 Karen October 5, 2011 at 3:43 pm: I love you so much. (and seeing the comment luv thing made me realize I needed to update my blog.
Karen recently posted..Gray hair is an asshole
302 Karen October 5, 2011 at 3:43 pm: I love you so much. (and seeing the comment luv thing made me realize I needed to update my blog.
Karen recently posted..Gray hair is an asshole
303 pinkiepoopoo October 5, 2011 at 3:44 pm: have you considered a stakeout and a snapshot? followed of course by a “Wanted: Sign thief – do you know this person?” poster
304 Abby October 5, 2011 at 3:44 pm: Somewhere…there’s a neighborhood bulletin monitor whose head just exploded.
Abby recently posted..Don, A Girl’s Best Friend?
305 Nicky October 5, 2011 at 3:44 pm: Okay. OKAY. I’ll put them back.
306 Becca October 5, 2011 at 3:45 pm: Somebody, somewhere is just waiting to shank you with pencils probably. I on the other hand would love to have a coffee sized flip book made of this entire thread. I think it would be an epic read.
Becca recently posted..Prep for Q&A Wednesday
307 Signe Friedrichs October 5, 2011 at 3:46 pm: I *heart* your signs.
308 Uber Lurker October 5, 2011 at 3:48 pm: aaahhh-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaa! i bet the buzz-kill that is fucking with the sign has a ‘NO SNAKES’ sign in his/her yard – jerk.
309 Lauren Ritta October 5, 2011 at 3:48 pm: I swear you are the reason I started blogging. Anxious people are always funniest with the right outlet. Clearly yours is community signboards.

how is this not on passiveaggressivenotes.com yet?
310 Angel October 5, 2011 at 3:49 pm: I think you should make a sign that is like lining up two mirrors…..Signs into infinity. Then make a card. For the rooster.
311 Gin October 5, 2011 at 3:52 pm: Rotten sign stealing Bastids!! You’ll outlast them!!
312 Ima October 5, 2011 at 3:52 pm: Hoping the next post will be about camping out at the bulletin board.
313 Kelly October 5, 2011 at 3:52 pm: I so wish I lived in your town…. I have so many fun ideas of what I would put up on the board!!
314 Erin October 5, 2011 at 3:54 pm: I think that there needs to be a sign warning people that you have a monkey named Copernicus and you won’t want to – but you’re not afraid to use him as a watch monkey because it’s a sad, sad world when signs go missing.

And then casually mention that he’s ALMOST as friendly as the missing rattlesnake. And that it’s his personal philosophy that “a hug is like a strangle you haven’t finished yet”.

Game ON.
Erin recently posted..Roller Coaster Ride, For One.
315 hogsatemysister October 5, 2011 at 3:55 pm: This is how the arms race began. But without snakes.
hogsatemysister recently posted..Maggot-related Moosedawg Dodges Death Sentence
316 Heather Greywolf October 5, 2011 at 3:56 pm: Jenny, I love you. You are a whole human-sized parcel of awesomeness.
317 Susan D. October 5, 2011 at 4:03 pm: Totally off subject here but hey, where better? Saw a couple of days ago that Target had about a half a dozen adult sized chicken Halloween costumes at about $77 apiece. Today? All gone. Can’t wait to see if any of them show up with any Beyonce’ style signs on them at the Halloween dance my husband and I attend! I’ll send you pictures if they do. (Durham, NC)
318 Josh October 5, 2011 at 4:14 pm: I feel that this seems like a job for J. Walter Weatherman.

*arm socket oozing blood*

“And that’s why you don’t steal signs from the community message board”
Josh recently posted..Full Frontal Stupidity: Graphic Content
319 Candi October 5, 2011 at 4:16 pm: OMG! I love your neighbors. Even if they are vandal thief assholes?
320 Virginia October 5, 2011 at 4:16 pm: When your updates multiply the funny of the original post exponentially, you know you’re in good shape as a blogger.
Virginia recently posted..Just Be Enough: I know I have to
321 Liz October 5, 2011 at 4:18 pm: “Gives hugs with mouth” hahahaha
Liz recently posted..Zhu Zhu Pets: Quest for Zhu
322 Mindy October 5, 2011 at 4:21 pm: This is easy. Obviously, the people who used to own the snake stole the sign, they were the bad home, that was full of sign thieves…
323 Petra October 5, 2011 at 4:23 pm: That’ll learn them! Entire forests sacrificed for a good cause. Getting in the last word, dammit.
Petra recently posted..Having to much fun in the kitchen
324 Barefoot Liz October 5, 2011 at 4:29 pm: I’m giggling at your update!
Barefoot Liz recently posted..OMG! Surgery has been moved up to October 18th!
325 Micah October 5, 2011 at 4:32 pm: I want to play! I have a lot of time on my hands.
Micah recently posted..moving day
326 GirltoMom- Heidi October 5, 2011 at 4:33 pm: I took your last sign and I’m gonna sell it on Ebay! Oh, and I’m in your yard right now, riding Beyonce.

I hope you don’t mind.

Girl to Mom- Heidi
GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted..A Prayer for Dani
327 maureen October 5, 2011 at 4:43 pm: Holy batballs, this is just like a mirror in front of a mirror in front of a mirror until it disappears into infinity.
I need to be careful, my computer may cross into another pinhole dimension and suck me into the vortex. Damn, and I have towels still in the dryer…
328 maureen October 5, 2011 at 4:45 pm: and of COURSE Angel made a comment halfway up the page like this ALREADY. Just like junior high when I came to school on dress up day NOT dressed up…behind and alone… sniff…
329 Christine October 5, 2011 at 4:47 pm: This was the first post I read from your site. Damn that’s funny!
Christine recently posted..Help for Old Furniture (and Fun for Me!)
330 Helen October 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm: The sign was stolen because it was just SO AWESOME and someone really needed to add some awesomeness to their drab existence. It’s probably framed and hanging over their fireplace!
331 Tracie October 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm: O.M.F.G.! I’m pissing rattlesnakes up here! You are my queen!

Sign thieves should be tanned and made into cowboy boots!
332 gretchen October 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm: lmao!
333 Toe October 5, 2011 at 5:05 pm: They underestimated you. They probably didn’t think you kept a picture of the first sign, or the second sign. But they were WRONG, very, very, wrong. Soon though, it’s going to start looking like when you hold two mirrors facing each other if they keep stealing your signs. A never ending missing sign sign.
334 MH October 5, 2011 at 5:21 pm: You need to combine these posters with your “Be kind or be cut” sign some how.
335 L.A. October 5, 2011 at 5:43 pm: FOUND: sign at grocery store.

It reads:

Lost Dog
Answers to Missy
Not wearing sweater
Probably cold
Call with information at (xxx)xxx-xxxx
REWARD.
336 Cantitbeaboutme October 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm: I would KILL to be at your next HOA meeting. Wait…..do they even have those in Texas?
337 Ariane October 5, 2011 at 5:54 pm: Please let me be half as badass as you when I grow up <3
338 Jane Feebles October 5, 2011 at 6:00 pm: My post office used to give me much joy with 2 slots, one marked ALL MAIL, the other ALL OTHER MAIL.
ALL MAIL was a super professional handmade paper sign and covered the original destination of local post/zip codes. It was up for 2 years, and increased my postal joy with every use. Then one day my brother’s friend got the job managing the post office. First thing he did- you guessed it: ‘fixed up’ those signs. What a fucking dweeb. I switched post offices.
339 Airen October 5, 2011 at 6:31 pm: If only setting up a video camera wasn’t such a pain…. I’d love to see the thief’s reaction every time a new sign appears. This could go on and on and on. I’m picturing it all playing out in old time black and white style with piano music. Dramatic piano music.
340 Nemukins October 5, 2011 at 6:36 pm: Clearly there is some sort of reversed-kidnapping Mafia shit going on here. They KNOW you have Mister Bitey and they’re not letting ANYONE contact you to return him to his home.

This…this could be bad…
341 Romana October 5, 2011 at 6:38 pm: I adore you
342 Chris Peters October 5, 2011 at 6:38 pm: Frickin Hilarious!
Chris Peters recently posted..Checking in, Checking out… ect
343 Jaime October 5, 2011 at 6:45 pm: Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Hilarious!
Jaime recently posted..Maybe you can come up with your own title. I’m spent.
344 Casey (The Bookish Type) October 5, 2011 at 6:57 pm: I so wish I lived in your town, just so I could happen across this fabulousness on a daily basis.
345 Kirsten October 5, 2011 at 7:02 pm: *is laughing*
Kirsten recently posted..My dad just pulled a Sarek of Vulcan
346 Wally October 5, 2011 at 7:18 pm: This is my lucky day! I’m decorating my living room with posters that have to do with found rattlesnakes and also with signs that have to do with those found signs going missing.

Unfucking believable!!! I found 2 of them, and have a line on a third!

SAAAWWWEEETTTT!!!!
347 Bryan October 5, 2011 at 7:34 pm: Uh oh…looks like this is going meta real fast-like…
Bryan recently posted..Are Football Games Worth the Ticket Price?
348 Jennifer October 5, 2011 at 7:51 pm: Perhaps the snake stole it
Jennifer recently posted..Horoscopes for Horses
349 Nick October 5, 2011 at 7:59 pm: This is like the Jenny equivalent of the artwork to Pink Floyd’s Ummagumma. Nice!
Nick recently posted..Behind Bookstore Children: "Are You Being Serious??"
350 J. Martinez October 5, 2011 at 8:10 pm: Absolutely brilliant, to copy the same exact comment I’ve made on/thought about this site a hundred thousand times.
J. Martinez recently posted..i went to seaworld just for the halibut. (i’m sorry.)
351 traci October 5, 2011 at 8:10 pm: Oh My! The best part is that you are driving someone batty! Keep up the good work!
352 Kristin October 5, 2011 at 8:16 pm: I love you. and not in a creepy way, just a stalker way.
353 Amy October 5, 2011 at 8:27 pm: I am praying for your sign.
354 Julie the Wife October 5, 2011 at 8:27 pm: Alan, Post #278, I thought you wrote “Your brain gives me herpes” and I thought, “Well shit, I want to take MY relationship with Jenny to the next level too!”. But then I saw “happies”, and now I just feel all empty inside. And a little ashamed.
Julie the Wife recently posted..All Growed Up
355 Jen October 5, 2011 at 8:32 pm: I love you!!! You rock!!!!!!!!
356 Suza Beth October 5, 2011 at 9:17 pm: I may have to stop reading your blog until after my baby is born. I may crush him from laughing so effing hard! If you are medicated, keep taking the meds. if not, don’t start. Have you thought about using rubber cement to adhere a poster to the pole? It would kinda kill the run you have going, but imagine the consternation of the person trying to take it down….

I can’t thank you enough for your blogs. You’re way better than anti-depressants. Or crack. Not sure about weed though…that would be a hard call…I take that back. If pot heads read your blog, they’d probably die from suffocation because they’re laughing sooo damned hard they can’t breathe.
357 Bitchalittle October 5, 2011 at 9:40 pm: I love it!
358 OldDogNewTits October 5, 2011 at 9:49 pm: I am enjoying this impish sign play as much as the next guy but I think we’ve lost focus here. For the love of God, where in the Sam Hill is poor Tiberious,the bitey, neglected, mouth-hugging snake?!!? He could have slithered halfway to Canada by now.
OldDogNewTits recently posted..Movie Review – 50/50
359 Karen Hawks October 5, 2011 at 9:52 pm: Your creativity and smartassedness is astounding. Bravo.
Karen Hawks recently posted..Overload, Sensory and Other Sorts
360 Charrissa October 5, 2011 at 10:04 pm: you’re my hero
361 Sonja October 5, 2011 at 10:10 pm: You know…If you just applied a bit of glue to the back you wouldn’t lose so many signs. Hard to lose something that won’t come off. I’m just sayin. Also you should get a bunch of different ppl to take shifts and scope out the place to find the culpret and when they go to steal your sign you can ba all, “Ha! Caught ya!” and then write them (cause you’re a writer) a fake ticket for theft. Oh, wait! That’s what I would do. I call dibs on 1st shift!
Sonja recently posted..What was your name again?
362 CCB October 5, 2011 at 10:21 pm: I love the way your mind works!!! Hilarious!
363 Jennie A October 5, 2011 at 10:42 pm: I hate to point this out… When you have a missing snake involved and 2 missing signs It is plain time to call in Dog the Bounty Hunter and Chuck Norris. Dog will Find ‘em and Chuck will .. Well he is Chuck… You should always invite him. Go twitter him now. What better could there possible be to do.

With that being said, I have taken some F’ in good happy pills and this might not make sense.. I hope it does.. It does in my head.
Jennie A recently posted..The Women of Faith conference is Almost HERE!!!
364 Judy N. October 5, 2011 at 10:56 pm: I love how you think! I sit here, alone in my kitchen, laughing out loud (I hope I don’t wake the kids)! I wish you lived on my street and were part of our PTA. We could you a mind like yours!
Judy N. recently posted..The Perimenopause Edition-Mother Nature Can Be a Cruel Bitch
365 Erin October 5, 2011 at 11:05 pm: fantastic. I had a dream about passing these signs last night. A sign about a sign that is a sign of the end of times for sure.
366 Cheryl D. October 6, 2011 at 12:43 am: HAHAHA! This string of posts is never going to end, is it?
Cheryl D. recently posted..Not Yesterday, or the Day Before that, or Even the Day Before That…
367 Beth October 6, 2011 at 2:04 am: Hahaha! Oh, this is great!
Beth recently posted..The Hunt for a Coach Purse…
368 Goradde October 6, 2011 at 2:05 am: LONG LIVE THIS BATTLE!
Goradde recently posted..Whatever it is, it’s all yours.
369 Lorca Damon October 6, 2011 at 4:39 am: I want a Stolen Missing Found sign in my yard.
Lorca Damon recently posted..Epic Spam Fail
370 corie October 6, 2011 at 5:31 am: oh boy. you have quite the life, don’t you?
i love this.
371 Amy October 6, 2011 at 5:36 am: I’m starting to think when your mother told you “pick your battles” you read into that something ENTIRELY different than she probably meant.
Amy recently posted..Everyday Things that Mock Me – Loofa Mitt
372 Bryn October 6, 2011 at 6:24 am: You are totally going to win this. All they have for motivation is common sense, HA, they have no idea how battles are won.
Bryn recently posted..Sorry I was MIA
373 Debbie October 6, 2011 at 6:42 am: I want to live in your neighborhood.
374 E M Foster October 6, 2011 at 6:52 am: I think *they* are fighting a losing battle. I wish my neighborhood had a board like this. Oh the fun I could have…
375 Aren October 6, 2011 at 6:56 am: I showed this to my boyfriend. He was not amused.

I, on the other hand, could not contain my peals of laughter. Why don’t I have friends like you!?
Aren recently posted..It Ain’t Easy Bein’ Green… And Yellow.
376 Alyson October 6, 2011 at 7:24 am: i want to be you when i grow up. does it matter that i’m 33?
377 Paula @ thewilyweez October 6, 2011 at 7:36 am: You should start litering your hood with fake snakes.
Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted..All Of My Childhood Fuckery Finally Came In Handy
378 Charity October 6, 2011 at 8:01 am: Paula, I already suggested that!!
Charity recently posted..I heard The Bloggess got circumcised!
379 Tom Stronach October 6, 2011 at 8:47 am: Said it all earlier, just using you now to point others to my latest blog cos I know you are a kind sharing person, aren’t you? BTW my latest blog was going to be about one book but I ended up commenting on six !!!!!
Tom Stronach recently posted..In Her Name: – A Book Review
380 Rai October 6, 2011 at 8:48 am: Everytime you do this, you should use a bigger piece of paper, until there is a fucking huge paper taking up the entire bulletin board with every sign inside it close to its actual size.
Rai recently posted..I’m a fucking humanitarian
381 EmmaW October 6, 2011 at 8:56 am: How many photos of a missing snake sign that’s gone missing like the original missing snake itself, and of the missing snake sign missing sign that’s also gone missing will it take for the wormhole to open?

I think i just confused myself.
382 bluezchick October 6, 2011 at 8:58 am: this is why all signs should have collars
383 Redneck Hillbillies October 6, 2011 at 9:17 am: You’re gonna push some little old lady over the edge and the bulletin board will be removed, put behind glass, or require pre-approval from someone lacking your twisted sense of humor. Watch for the surveillance cameras and motion lights, they’re next. Sign posters (and sign stealers) will all blame YOU, and come after you with pitchforks and other stabby things.
Redneck Hillbillies recently posted..Redneckeratize it.
384 RFK October 6, 2011 at 9:36 am: Ha! great!
385 Janice October 6, 2011 at 9:37 am: Ahahahaha, I can also read about the missing sign for the missing sign for the missing sign all damn day!
Janice recently posted..How to pick up a girl, Tip #3
386 Jennie Jackson October 6, 2011 at 9:37 am: Way too funny! I’ll just take my snake and go home now.
Jennie Jackson recently posted..And that’s why I wear comfortable shoes…
387 Laurey October 6, 2011 at 10:06 am: Beyonce is even more beloved than I thought!!! Found this on Pinterest:

http://pinterest.com/pin/284390006/

Hotness!
Laurey recently posted..Brussel Sprouts
388 Kande October 6, 2011 at 10:14 am: Question … how do we know Victor isn’t removing the sign as secretly wants to keep Bitey at least until he/she gets hungry enough to eat Beyonce, thus effectively winning that war? Hmmmmm?
389 Swarley October 6, 2011 at 10:18 am: it’s starting to read like the credits of Monty Python and the holy grail…..

The directors of the firm hired to
continue the credits after the other
people had been sacked, wish it to
be known that they have just been
sacked.

The credits have been completed
in an entirely different style at great
expense and at the last minute.
390 TheSuze October 6, 2011 at 10:19 am: bwahahaha… That’s awesome!
TheSuze recently posted..How to politely convince your growing baby that your uterus isn’t big enough for her anymore?
391 Elisabeth October 6, 2011 at 10:23 am: I’m interested to see how long this lasts. I’m thinking of putting up a notice about commen sense missing and it will probably go on as long as yours does, considering our HOA board prez is such a huge douche he could cleanse a whale vagina.
392 Rebecca October 6, 2011 at 10:43 am: IT’S TOTALLY VICTOR.

Next up,
a sign saying, “Have you seen this chicken? [insert picture of Beyonce] Call Victor at: 555-555-0000″
Rebecca recently posted..Hell, Yes:
393 Dani October 6, 2011 at 11:07 am: You should maybe check eBay… I wonder if someone is stealing your signs to sell for some extra spending money so they can buy their OWN copy paper.

Or maybe they’re holding the signs for ransom until you ante up not only the rattlesnack, but also a metal chicken wearing a flying pig for a hat… ??
Dani recently posted..Things Dan Wishes He Hadn’t Done, Part Infinity
394 Brenna October 6, 2011 at 11:08 am: I kind of feel like it’s a mirror looking into a mirror or something.

What would we do without you, Jenny?
Brenna recently posted..The best thing I’ve heard so far today…
395 Marsha October 6, 2011 at 11:19 am: I pee’d a little when I read this! You’re AWESOME
396 Ashley October 6, 2011 at 11:37 am: This made my sucky day a small percentage less sucky. Thanks.
Ashley recently posted..Be who you are and say what you feel. Unless, of course, you aren’t good enough.
397 Brian the Kwyjibo October 6, 2011 at 11:37 am: This is probably the BEST blog post I’ve ever read featuring a stolen sign about a missing sign that’s about a found rattlesnake. Oh, wait–maybe the second best… no, it’s definitely number one.

And Jenny, I just want you to know YOU are one of the reasons I am so far behind on all the “important” stuff.
Brian the Kwyjibo recently posted..I’m Like, WAY Behind
398 Amanda October 6, 2011 at 11:40 am: I’m picturing an old lady in a house coat and curlers, watching you from her window, waiting for you to post another sign so she can march out and tear it down…also, by old lady I mean my grandmother. She’s probably your culprit.
Amanda recently posted..they say you want a revolution…
399 Sarah October 6, 2011 at 12:24 pm: I wish I lived in your neighborhood just so I could be the one to steal yor signs.
Sarah recently posted..I have an honest to goodness TROLL!
400 Nancy P October 6, 2011 at 12:36 pm: This is priceless!
401 Mr Farty October 6, 2011 at 1:14 pm: You need to keep the snake now, to guard the missing sign.
Mr Farty recently posted..When Aliens Attack
402 Krystle October 6, 2011 at 1:18 pm: Hilarious. You just made my day. THANK YOU!!!
Krystle recently posted..About This Place
403 the muskrat October 6, 2011 at 1:25 pm: This is like those old “Choose your own adventure” books, but your version keeps making you flip between two pages, just to fuck with the reader(s).
the muskrat recently posted..when the cat’s away, the mice fuck up
404 ImaJustSaying October 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm: This WILL be the gift that keeps on giving. I agree with Mr Farty above. Use the snake to guard the missing/found/new sign. I would gladly come over to stake out the bulletin board for you armed with a video camera. I would just require some anti-venom in case I get bitten by the guarding snake..
ImaJustSaying recently posted..Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Season 2 Episode 6 – 10.3.11
405 Jen October 6, 2011 at 1:55 pm: YOU are BRILLIANT!
I wish you lived in my neighborhood!

Maybe a sign about a 7 step program for sign stealing hoarders?
406 Charity October 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm: I think we should totally get a big ass cage, and fill it full of fake snakes. *snicker*
Charity recently posted..Who fucked *up* the ladies room?!?
407 Redneck Hillbillies October 6, 2011 at 3:09 pm: I think you should NAIL a freakin fake snake to that bulletin board with some halloween blood with a copy of your missing sign in it’s mouth and tell them you’re through trying to find the real owners, here’s the damn bitey snake. That oughtta get the little old lady in curlers riled up REAL GOOD.
Redneck Hillbillies recently posted..Don’t Judge Me, Beeyotch!
408 Tara October 6, 2011 at 3:18 pm: I love these signs! I wish my neighborhood would be this fun!
Tara recently posted..What is Black, Grey, and really baggy?
409 Carri October 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm: OMFG Now all we need is to do is somehow involve William Shatner.
Carri recently posted..How to Make (and Lose) Friends on Twitter
410 Condo Blues October 6, 2011 at 5:56 pm: This is the infinity mirror of missing signs.
Condo Blues recently posted..Make Pumpkins out of Trash!
411 Kacey October 6, 2011 at 5:59 pm: Thank you for making me laugh so hard I cried. That hasn’t happened in a while and it feels good.
412 Jen October 6, 2011 at 8:58 pm: This exact situation happened to me at work. Someone stole a work poster from my desk so I put up a missing sign with a picture of the poster. Someone then stole the missing sign. So I put up a missing sign of the missing sign. Someone returned the missing sign but not the poster.
Jen recently posted..Environmental Impact of an Election Campaign
413 Casey October 6, 2011 at 9:22 pm: 1. I’m TOTALLY doing this and sending you a picture of it.
2. I think we could be best friends….not in that stalker sort of way where I hide in your bushes and watch you brush your teeth….Texas is too hot for me, but if you moved to SC and were cool with it, I’d definitely be your stalker BFF.
414 Candi October 6, 2011 at 10:13 pm: Girl–you are hilarious!
415 dale in denver October 6, 2011 at 10:43 pm: @Amy #370 – I must have taken away the same lesson as Jenny. What DID our moms mean? lol
416 Martini Girl October 7, 2011 at 12:42 am: I’m seriously dying from laughter after reading that.
Martini Girl recently posted..Rambo and the Rangers
417 Jess October 7, 2011 at 7:39 am: I just found this blog, and stumbled upon this entry.
I have NEVER laughed so hard at a blog entry. NEVER. You my dear are amazing!
418 Grace October 7, 2011 at 7:41 am: Just how many times to you plan to make me shoot coffee out of my nose all over my keyboard with these damn signs?
419 April Thompson October 7, 2011 at 8:08 am: OMG I love your site! You are one hilarious “fucking bitch”. Still can’t get over that huge PR fail, but loved the way you handled it!
April Thompson recently posted..My Favorite Place(s) on Earth
420 Kelly October 7, 2011 at 8:31 am: Let’s hope it keeps getting stolen so you can make repeated posters which will the create a feed-back loop and become a portal to the snake dimensions.

It’s science.
421 Alexandra October 7, 2011 at 8:41 am: LOVe the advice notes.

Collar yer snakes, dere.
Alexandra recently posted..Zero To Funny In One Minute – Friday Funny
422 IgotBupkis, President, United Anarchist Society October 7, 2011 at 8:59 am: You Magnificent Snarky Bastard!!
423 Vanessa October 7, 2011 at 9:58 am: Awesome and hilarious! You = the best!!
424 VPJ October 7, 2011 at 12:51 pm: I think I’ve found my new favorite blogger.
425 Jiya October 7, 2011 at 2:49 pm: Hey, the third handwritten note looks like my brother’s handwriting!

But he’s not an old lady.

And he’s not in Texas.

It does, however, match his wit. Steve, is that you?
426 K-Sizzle October 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm: This made my day! Almost peed my pants!
427 Jenn L @ Peas and Crayons October 7, 2011 at 4:25 pm: I wish this could go on forever =)
Jenn L @ Peas and Crayons recently posted..Dutch Boy Giveaway!
428 Nolie October 7, 2011 at 10:46 pm: AWESOME!! Any updates?
Nolie recently posted..Homosexuality Is Wrong Because The Bible Says So
429 The Spring Mount 6 Pack October 7, 2011 at 11:09 pm: I love love love your sense of humor. It reminds me so much of mine and my husbands. Imagine the embarrasement to my teens, they just shake their heads at this point.
The Spring Mount 6 Pack recently posted..Halloween fun- Clues, Spells, and Curses Scavenger Hunt
430 K-Squared October 8, 2011 at 8:42 am: I just can’t wait for you to post “MISSING: REAM OF PAPER (no photo – not until I can get to OfficeMax to pick up more copy paper)”. LOL
431 Tiffany October 8, 2011 at 10:53 am: WOW, thanks for that. I introduced my husband to you today for the first time and we were both crying from laughing so hard.
PS, do you need a special kind of printer to handle that kind of volume?
432 karen October 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm: If the latest sign disappears, I think you should post a ransom note for “Safe Return of the Sign-Stealing Punk.” It won’t bring back your missing signs (unless you request them), but could you imagine the look on people’s faces (cos for sure they didn’t miss the original “very bitey” sign”) when they see the ransom note?!
karen recently posted..Photo Friday: Peekaboo!
433 Natalie October 8, 2011 at 8:10 pm: I havent laughed this hard in a VERY long time! I adore your sense of humor!
434 evan October 9, 2011 at 3:25 am: I like turtles
435 Lauren October 9, 2011 at 6:56 am: Firstly I want to say thank you because this post made me wet my pants, well it would have if I wasn’t so fucking awesome at pelvic floor exercises, and secondly since discovering your blog, I have slowly been reading back through all your posts, currently page 51 (Hitler’s still alive with only one testicle, thank you Google) but I think I may have over done it because I have these weird conversations in my head that always end with ‘WTF? asshole’ or ‘I’ll stab you’ and I strangely want to go find something taxidermied to hang on my wall and give it an awesome name like Marmaduke.
Oh and lastly I was reading the blog on the toilet the other day and I read for too long and my toes went blue…I blame you if my toes fall off.
Lauren.
436 Mom In Two Cultures October 9, 2011 at 6:19 pm: This is SO much better than Mr. Roger’s neighborhood!
437 Schovillova October 9, 2011 at 9:01 pm: And this is why you’re awesome. No one else would think of doing this. No. One.

Thank you.
438 troy damnit October 10, 2011 at 6:05 am: I stole it to sell on e-bay. Starting bid $500. I need the money for my therapy sessions.
439 Jenny @ Freebie Spot October 10, 2011 at 2:49 pm: Thank you for the virtual LoL
Jenny @ Freebie Spot recently posted..Cold Pitching Works. Don’t Be Scared!
440 heather October 11, 2011 at 11:45 am: i’ve come back to read this every day. it still makes me laugh out loud
441 My Baby Sweetness October 11, 2011 at 12:56 pm: Whenever I’m having one of those types of battles – you know, losing and not all that important to me – when I give up (oh the shame), I quote a good friend and say “not the hill I want to die on.”

With that I say – interesting hill you’ve chosen to die on, Jenny. By rattlesnake bite (unless the True Grit guy comes to suck out the poison I guess).
My Baby Sweetness recently posted..Why Moms should never be proud/boastful
442 The Bored Student October 11, 2011 at 6:54 pm: I was reading this during a lecture and it was sooo hard not to fall out of the chair laughing!
I absolutely love your blog Jenny!!
The Bored Student recently posted..Random First Post
443 Jack the Ripper October 12, 2011 at 9:47 am: most worst joke ever
444 David October 12, 2011 at 11:57 am: Friggin’ Hilarious!
445 Hailey October 13, 2011 at 12:35 am: best. post. ever.
446 Nikki October 13, 2011 at 9:31 am: This is hysterical!!! HAHAHA I love it!
447 Lisa@ChocolatePBCups October 13, 2011 at 11:44 am: hahahha this is hysterical !!
448 the KING October 13, 2011 at 3:48 pm: love big ol’ snakes- all they want to do is find someone to love and wrap around them in an affectionate way, if you find one, you’ve got a friend for life !!
449 Anonymous October 13, 2011 at 7:40 pm: Win.
450 Katie B October 14, 2011 at 7:43 am: This story answers all your question’s. Just thought you should know. http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/kourtney_kardashian_gets_pet_snake_sKG8SCSeqkV7WdbbblRdVL
451 molly October 14, 2011 at 6:43 pm: i don’t even know you and i think we’re supposed to be best friends.
damn.
molly recently posted..Dating Myself
452 Elen October 15, 2011 at 10:42 pm: Please move to Maryland. It’s too goddamned boring up here, and you are Just. The. Gal. I need to help me plot outrageous stunts and pull them off.
453 David October 16, 2011 at 1:20 am: I tried to tell this story in person… and it’s just not the same without the pictures!
454 Bunny Sunday (Randi) October 16, 2011 at 5:21 pm: YEEEESSSSS!!!!! I just read my fiancé this post as well as the mongoose-cobra story. I laughed so hard I cried. He gave me a horrified look and just said, “… oh god…”

I think he likes it.
Bunny Sunday (Randi) recently posted..New Themes: Modern News and Dusk to Dawn
455 Katie October 17, 2011 at 12:12 pm: I laughed hard.
456 Cait Mick October 19, 2011 at 7:01 pm: Where did you find a snake to begin with?
457 Kim October 20, 2011 at 3:53 pm: Okay, I thought your post was hysterical. Then I went back and read the last comment right above mine. WOW. Please tell me you are kidding Cait!
458 Kim October 20, 2011 at 3:54 pm: I nearly spit my drink out of my nose. YOU KILL ME! Love, love, LOVE your blog. Thank you for so many nearly-peed-my-pants moments!
459 IGotBupkis, Unicorn Fart Entrepreneur October 20, 2011 at 4:13 pm: >>> Sarcasm: It’s what’s for breakfast

Ah, this isn’t mere sarcasm. It goes WAAAAaayyyyy beyond sarcasm. It is pure, grade-a unadulterated SNARK, that’s what it is.

And no, it is not a boojum, so no one need fear softly and slowly fading away.
460 natalie November 3, 2011 at 2:44 pm: i noticed a disturbing lack of community bulletin boards a couple months ago when my boyfriend was trying to sell his car.
someone told me it was due to liability issues from people getting scammed on or sexually solicited.

i had no idea there was a snake problem too…
natalie recently posted..halloween (vegan) cupcakes
461 sarah November 6, 2011 at 5:57 pm: You make me laugh until I cry and fall on the floor. Never stop
sarah recently posted..Time to play catch up, part 1
462 Daniel November 29, 2011 at 10:19 am: haha this made me laugh out loud.
463 dave December 8, 2011 at 1:57 pm: i stole that sign JK
464 Cynical Reviews December 20, 2011 at 5:48 am: Brightened up my morning, haha.
Cynical Reviews recently posted..Marger – Evil [Free Download]
465 Alias Wretch January 8, 2012 at 5:37 pm: “Sir, The missing sign of a missing sign of a missing snake was found.”

“WHICH SIGN?!?!”
466 DMajor January 18, 2012 at 10:11 pm: I love you.
467 Sabrina January 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm: LOOK- An Emory student apparently created an ode to your sign:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-sn/427144_556631194994_53301380_31327784_306255191_n.jpg

Nobody said Emory student were creative.
468 Shawna February 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm: Cait, it’s Texas, they find us. In the living room, on the front porch, above your head on the back porch overhang, in the pool, under your car. They’re everywhere. That’s part of the reason we own guns.
469 CANY February 8, 2012 at 9:31 pm: Cracking up over here!! LMFAOOOO….
470 Morgan February 18, 2012 at 6:25 pm: For Sale:
One snakeskin belt.
One baby toy; rattle.
471 Anonymous March 6, 2012 at 10:20 am: like
472 JD March 18, 2012 at 6:10 pm: So much win

That awkward noise you make when throwing priceless jewelry off a boat…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CGl5-blQBE
473 David March 19, 2012 at 8:03 am: I so want to help with this, made my morning.
474 Layla Proudfoot May 18, 2012 at 7:43 am: I think they like to eat rats — just FYI.
475 Meg Mc May 12, 2013 at 8:51 pm: This post is literally killing me. (Seriously…a nebulizer is now involved because I couldn’t breathe…) The hilarious part is that I’ve read it before, but it still wants me dead.
Meg Mc recently posted..It won’t die…

UPDATED: MISSING.

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