UPDATED: Leg Three!

Updated:  The Chicago stop sold out so they’re adding another one.  I’ll have details soon.

Leg three of my book tour starts in a few weeks and I have nothing witty to say here.

Leg three
But in spite of my lack of witticisms I would LOVE it if you’d come to see me on my last week on the road.  Here’s where I’ll be in two weeks:

Wednesday, June 6 at 7pm ~ Montclair, NJ

Thursday, June 7th ~ Blogworld NY

Friday, June 8th at 7pm ~ Brookline, MA

Sunday, June 10th at 2pm ~ Chicago, IL

**********

In non-related news, my friend (Kara) knit me a Gryffindor scarf for Ron Weasely.  And he also got a red wig.

A ridiculous, ridiculous red wig.

It might need trimming for historical accuracy.

IMG_2465

**********

Still nothing witty to add.  I apologize.  I’m not quite myself today.  I blame Ron Weasely’s wig.  To make it up to you I’m giving away a few copies of the Australian, UK  and audio versions of my book.  Just leave a comment telling me which one you want, y’all.

1,117 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Not yourself today? Is there just one version of you we’re supposed to have??? I’m going to have an audio book one day regardless of if you send it to me or if I use my own damn gumption to get it. Have a wonderful Wednesday lovely lady!

  2. I wish your tour were swinging closer. I’ll keep my eye out!

    Amanda recently posted Chopped....

  3. I would love the UK version. I have the ebook and love it!!! By the way, when I was a kid my mom also made us wear breadbags over our shoes, but only when it snowed. I know, crazy, right?

  4. AUDIO! AUDIO! AUDIO! I can’t read while I’ve got the laughter-tears streaming down my face!

  5. It is acceptable to have days of non wittyness! We do not see it as a poor reflection on you as a person.

    Sweety Darlin recently posted I wanna trade pink hard hats and work boots for heals and skirts!.

  6. Australian. I want to hear about squirrel corpse puppets in an Australian voice.. in my head. K, thanks.

    Rebekah recently posted Girl's Night (because it's just me).

  7. I love all things British so I’d take the UK version.

    And holy cow…I’m already setting up child care so my friend & I can road trip and see you in Montclair.

    Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife recently posted The Military & My Marriage: Difficult Choices.

  8. OH dear god…Ron Weasely looks like Carrot Top.

    Erin recently posted The Benefits of Mulch- Why Tiny Bits of Wood are One of my Favorite Things..

  9. Glad to see Ron is rocking the crimped hair. Represent the 80’s proudly dear weasel!

    Nicole recently posted It's about to get steamy in here....

  10. Still no Seattle. DRAT!

    theyamqueen recently posted Baby Meets Boob: Breastfeeding in the First 24 Hours.

  11. 11
    BdoubleOM

    Fear not, dearest Bloggess, you need not be pithy every moment of every day. That would just become tired and unbelievable. You rock, regardless of your updating status. And if I had my druthers, I’d choose the UK version, if that is an option. Don’t feel like you have to send it. Just if you wanna…

  12. I would very much love an audiobook version. Also, please come to Nashville. Please?

    Brandi recently posted I'm not fat, I'm just big uterused..

  13. I would love the UK version!!!

    Heather recently posted KROD May 2012: Edwin sings Europe!.

  14. Oh, Any version would be AWESOME!!! What’s the rest of the tour look like?

  15. Audio book! Already read the book but I want to hear you tell the stories!

    Karen @ Books Beside My Bed recently posted Shadows on the Moon by Zoë Marriott.

  16. Audio! :) Hope you’re back to feeling more like yourself soon, Jenny!

    L-Kat recently posted The post where I (the terminally single one) give advice to future brides.

  17. That wig is fucking serious, man.

  18. audio, audio, audio! The only thing better than this book would be you reading it! :)

  19. 19
    Shiloh walker

    Oh, that’s cute. I love the little doll in the right back hand corner

    Shiloh walker recently posted A rather lovely post about the Hunter books…and Netgalley news.

  20. UK version sounds swell :)

    Cheryl Harrison recently posted Upcoming Central Ohio Homebrewing Competitions.

  21. The wig just made me spit diet coke. I needed that. Thanks!

    Queen of All Things Good recently posted Ghost Porn - Only At My House.

  22. UK version, please. :)
    Hope you’re feeling yourself soon…as opposed to going round feeling up other people…’cause if they didn’t consent then it becomes a bit tricky for you…
    …just ask first, K?

    Claire J recently posted Postcard from Prague.

  23. 23
    meaniemariska

    UK! I’ve already had to order 3 copies of your book for family members. :)

  24. I would love an audio book!

  25. So excited about Boston! (Brookline, whatever)

  26. It’s like Carrot Top and Ron Weasley somehow conceived a rodent love child with an affinity for 80s hair bands.

    Oh…and I’d love the audio version!

    Katrina recently posted Produce Anxiety.

  27. I always look forward to reading your blog during the day. It’s like that ray of sunshine you wait for after the terrible down pour of reality. I would love the audio book. I have a 16 month old son and by the time I attempt to read at night I am so completely exhausted that my eyes can’t even stay propped up. I have an hour commute every day and listening to your book would make that drive a happy trails adventure with all my imaginary car poolers.

  28. 28
    Jennifer Shrader

    UK version. You rock!

  29. Audio, please! You are a genius – woman!!!!! ;)

  30. Hope you feel better soon! And I wish you’d come back to LA. I couldn’t make your signing when you came out here. I was working that night. :(

    I’d love to toss my hat in the ring for the audio book!

    <3,
    -J

    Jess Haines recently posted Book Review – DREADFUL BEGINNINGS.

  31. Ron looks like one of Ron & Hermonie’s kids.

    Karen W recently posted I have a really good excuse this time ....

  32. I would adore an audio copy of your book. I have been reading parts of your book to my friends and family so it would be amazing to hear it in your voice! :)

  33. Audio! I have the book, but I so want to have you read it to me! Plus, OUT TAKES! I’ll end up buying it if I don’t win it. Either way, I must hear it!

  34. I’m still waiting for you to announce your Canadian tour :D

  35. Oh Jenny, you just posted a photo of a Ron Weasely wearing some kind of 80s hair metal wig, you may be tired and wrung out but you are still totally you.

    I wouldn’t say no to the Aus version but (and I feel like a cruel bitch asking this of you when you are clearly exhausted from being on the road…) I would much rather see you in person in Toronto. Pretty please…you can sleep through it and I’ll do the reading pretending to be you…and everyone would buy you donuts from Tim Hortons. Though I guess since I’d be doing the reading and everyone would think I was you, and think that the real you was just some narcoleptic fan then I would be getting the donuts, but I would share.

    I don’t think I’m quite myself today either.

    Kimbo recently posted The beautiful trillium. The official flower of the province of....

  36. Yee-haw, here’s to Texas and books!

    Aging Gal recently posted Is it Okay to NOT Want to be Famous?.

  37. I would LOVE a UK version of your book! Just to hear it in an English accent would be so amazingly hilarious! And I love Ron’s wig. he should have rocked that look in the movie. <3

  38. I’d LOVE the UK version! :)

  39. Audio! Please so I can listen in my car and laugh my ass off while the folks next to me stare and think I’m insane!

    Sarah recently posted Liar,liar,.... you know the rest..

  40. It may be the weather. I find that it the weather sucks my creativity dry, like some sort of creativity sucking vampire, only it’s the weather and I’m me. Anyhow, I’d take an audio version, because I already have it in awesome book format, if I were to win (which is highly unlikely due to my rather remarkable skill at losing). YAY! RAMBLY!

    Kim recently posted The Cupcake Ring by manicmetals.

  41. I would love the audio. You must do something with Ron’s hair.

  42. I still see no Pittsburgh stop. Ridonkulous.

    Jim W. recently posted Walk Day!.

  43. UK!

  44. Who cares what version it is? I just have to get my hands on it. Hope you get to feeling better

    emily recently posted Fifteen choices for Fifty.

  45. Just starting the book… Makes me laugh in that evil genius kind of way!!!

    TheFeelGoodDepot recently posted It Must Be Friday – 17 Dolla Gansta – The Feel Good Depot Way.

  46. I would love the audio version because it’s hard to read on my phone while I’ve got a glass of wine in one hand & I’m chasing the toddler (who causes me to need wine) around the house!!!

    Stephanie recently posted Omelette aux Fines Herbes.

  47. I’d love the audiobook, but either one would be awesome.

    In any case, how about going back home from Chicago going through Kansas City and Oklahoma? I just added OK to bribe you, since Dr Pants are there. But of course I can offer you something special here in Kansas, of course.

    Carol recently posted Drained of all energy.

  48. Love Love the cover art on the UK version! Chin up, dearie (that was my best brit type-ccent!). xoxox

  49. Ooh, audio please! I’m on the hold list at my library, but they haven’t even purchased it yet, alas.

    Ron Weasely looks very dashing with his new accoutrements!

    ashpags recently posted Shiny New Needles!.

  50. Ron Weasely is looking a little Herminone-weasely in that wig, yo. I’d love a UK version of your book for my British ex-pat hubz, who sadly did not go to Hogwarts.

  51. i would LOVE an audio copy of your book. even though you aren’t feeling yourself you are still awesome ;) good luck on the third leg of your tour!

    oh and the wig kinda makes ron weasely look like he is trying to be in an 80s rock/hair band. just saying :D

  52. UK version please!!! The cover is so pretty! And, Ron Weasely’s wig is enough to make anyone have an off day :)

  53. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaudio!

    I missed you when you were in MD because my ankle won’t let me drive for more than 20 minutes right now (sprained it roller skating) but I heard you were hilarious and the only problem was that it should have been longer ;)

    Mels recently posted Quickie.

  54. You have three legs! Amazeballs! If you get a fourth one, could it be in the UK? Ok thanks.

  55. 55
    Melissa Barnum

    PLEASE come to Seattle!!!! :) Ron is rockin’ the Carrot Top look fur sure! ;)

  56. I want to read the Aussie version and find out if goats get switched to dingos and if it’s Stanley, the Magic Wallaby instead.

  57. Noooooo…Chicago is so close to Minneapolis, yet so far…

    Jess recently posted Sluts and Harlots: The Moms Need Feminist Education.

  58. Audio version PLEASE!

  59. AUDIO! i have the book and reading along with you would be tremendous. :)

    hello haha narf recently posted WP.

  60. Pick up 30 cases of self tanner while in Montclair. Because in New Jersey, the rivers run bronze!
    But I’m pretty sure that’s only due to all of the dead guidos dumped in them.

    Christine recently posted Amazon Knows Too Much About Your Loneliness.

  61. Fell Better- I’m sure you are exhusted! We all love what you are doing fo us- Going all over the country so your crazy fans can have you sign prescription bottles, boobs, have 911 called (Dallas, cough, cough)!

    UK Audio Version Please :)
    (Wouldnt it be great if you did it all in your worst English accent! ha)

  62. Audioooooo! Please. And now I have to figure out how to get to Boston in June. I’m thinking you’ll still be too far away for this time of year (end of school). Western NY. Western NY. Western NY. Please?

    heidi recently posted Photo A Day May.

  63. I’d still like an audio, and the center part in that red wig is very chic. I will TRY to get to Brookline. To bring my book that’s already signed. So you can add punctuation, or a smiley face, or bitemarks, or something…

    Stephanie recently posted Greeting Cards for the Domestically Confined.

  64. 64
    rdbabygrl

    Audio! The book was hilarious!

  65. I would love an audio book!

  66. I will gladly trim your weasel’s wig for you. <— Man if I had a nickel for every time I said that! I'd have like, 5 cents.

    Does your Aussie audiobook have you doing an Australian accent? Because I would put ALL the shrimps on the barbie for that awesomeness.

    Suzanne recently posted Cinnamon Rolls.

  67. I would LOVE an audio copy. I pre-ordered the print version, laughed until I peed while reading it, then laughed even harder at your signing in Atlanta.
    Not that you would remember but you signed my Copernicus shirt and you kindly told me I am photogenic. But really, you are the beautiful one….inside and out!
    Thank you for this blog…the offer of your sudio version has prompted me to come out of lurk-dom and make my first comment.

  68. 68
    Leigh Parlier

    audio please! :)

  69. ANY VERSION FOR ME, PLEASE!!!

    And I am highly dissappointed that Orlando is STILL not part of your book tour. We aren’t THAT far from TX, you know….

  70. I blame Ron’s wig as well. Perhaps a potion class has gone awry. Or maybe he’s been caught trying on Ermione’s wig. Perhaps he’s questioning some of his life choices. Maybe he’s just a little overwhelmed and a giant red wig is his version of a red dress.

    Some days are giant red wig days.

    (Also, UK version for the purdy.)

    Miss D recently posted And sometimes, I wish I were Catholic..

  71. 72
    Debby Phillips

    I would love to hear your tome read to me in your dulcet tones.

  72. Got the print, need the audio!

  73. You so need to come to Ohio! Until then I guess an audio book could keep me company. :)

    Krista C. recently posted Sometimes....

  74. As a friend noted: it’s like Molly Weasley had an affair with Dee Snider.

    Audio if I win :-)

    Enrique Gomez recently posted Call me Logan.

  75. Chicago …. That’s getting closer to Minnesota :) so I still have hope! I’d love a chance for audio version of your book :)

  76. Audio s’il vous plait. I guess there’s no chance your tour will hit the far north in Canada? I’d send you a stuffed moose or black bear to encourage a visit but where would you put it? Wouldn’t want to overshadow Beyonce… and also I imagine the shipping costs would be prohibitive. Thanks for your book!
    (we call our vultures “mosquitos” up here. they are the same size, look it up, it’s true, I swear)
    Tracy

  77. WOOHOO East Coast!!!

    Mayor Gia recently posted Boyfriend is My Hero.

  78. I got all excited because I thought that said, ‘Three Legs.’

    Cathy D. recently posted May 5 declared OSV Centennial Day in Huntington.

  79. Audio, please! It’s the least you can do for not coming to San Diego!!! =)

  80. Oh. No. Ron Weasely IS Aubrey O’Day OR Pippi Longstocking without the braids. I need consider this over a shot of vodka. Either way – genius.

    Dumb {Squared} recently posted My texts often go unappreciated.

  81. OOh, I can haz audio version? Also, I very much appreciate knowing what Ron Weasley would look like as a hippy, uh, weasel.

  82. 84
    Dana Frank

    Please give Ron a haircut. He’s dangerously close to being mistaken for Carrot Top.
    Oh, and if I’m the lucky winner, winner, chicken dinner, i wouldst greatly appreciate the Audio Book.
    I’m pretty sure I have your voice in my head, I just wanna do a cross check for verification.

  83. UK please. I hope you have a fun time in the New England area. The weather up here is rather fickle so you might want to bring shorts for one day and then a snow jacket for the next. :) So far it’s been grand outside, but I’m used to the mild weather.
    -Red

  84. Audio, pleeeeez!

  85. For some reason I interpreted that as if you had made UK and Australian audiobook versions of your book, presumably with you recording it with a different fake accent for each. Not only did I think that was perfectly normal, but my first reaction was to wonder if you were planning on recording a Canadian version as well. How aboot it ,eh? So, yes, please send me a Canadian audiobook version.

  86. Audio please! Hearing you read it out loud would be all kinds of awesome. Though maybe not as much fun as hearing you read it out loud while watching your police escort try to keep a straight face was. That rocked sideways.

    FishyGirl recently posted A Beautiful Day Is Any Day You Hear A Favorite Author Speak.

  87. The uk version ! Im trying to make it to your book tour !!!

  88. Totally Audio so I can hear how awesome you were at pretending you were awesome at recording audio books :)

  89. I am reading the book right now. It is hilarious and difficult to find a stopping point! Good luck on the rest of your book tour. I am confident that you will think of funny things to say.

  90. Brookline? I might just have to take you up on that.

    Heretic Husband recently posted Hugo Schwyzer, my father-in-law, and the problem of grace.

  91. Audio version please!! PLEEEEASE!!

  92. I recently ordered your book online (the paper version in case there is a pole shift or an EMP or for some reason the world goes to hell, I will still be laughing) but I’d LOVE to hear the audio :)

  93. I’d like, love, adore, sleep with, make out with, any or all versions. Thank you.

    mumple recently posted Pied Piper.

  94. Brookline! Yay!!!

    I think I’d like the audio book, too, even if I do find the UK cover of the book to be deliciously creepy, in an Edward Gorey kind of way (that’s not disparaging – I love me some Edward Gorey).

  95. I’d be happy with any of them, but if I really have to choose, the UK. Thank you so much for doing what you do, from bringing awareness to depression and anxiety to making people smile through all of your stories.

  96. Audio! I can laugh out loud at work and everyone will think I love my job!

  97. 99
    Ron Collins

    The audio version would be awesome, because then I could follow along in the book while you read it to me. In your own voice! (I’m still cracking up from the scam phone call I got regarding a “problem with the Windows computer”. The guy told me I could see the problem on screen with my own eyes! I asked him who else’s he thought I might use.)

    By the way, I have seen your book in the wild at a Chapters book store in Newfoundland, Canada. Just thought you’d like to know.

  98. 100
    Jennifer Uribe

    I would LOVE the audio book.

    I hope you feel better soon!

  99. Today, I won a MAJOR battle in my ongoing war with depression and anxiety. In addition to my parents, loved ones and doctors I also wanted to tell you, because you have been such a beacon of hope to me in this last year. You are inspiring, you are amazing, and you have given me strength when I needed it most. If you just wanted to put the cherry on this epic sundae of a day, I’d be thrilled with an audiobook or a UK version, but seriously, this day is already amazing. I now feel the need to make a taco medal for myself. Oh, PS, I’m the weirdo who gave you a taco medal in Houston ; )

  100. 102
    MissusMoose

    AUDIO! I sure do hope you get back to feelin’ like yourself really soon!!!! xoxox

  101. I would love to have an Australian copy of your book. I have my Kindle version, but there’s nothing like holding a real book in your hands…especially an Australian copy! It’d be a first for me. Thank you for writing and blogging. You’ve inspired me to continue on with my blogging; even if only a handful of friends and family read.

  102. UK version for sure. I have an Australian Boss that has turned me off to all Aussies. Probably for the rest of my life.

    Kelli @ Howdy from NYC recently posted Wedding Wednesday: Getting a Veil.

  103. 105
    Michelle Bailey

    I do believe that Ron stole his wig from one of the Ronettes. (groan. I sincerely apologize for that.) Also, I would dearly love an audio copy of the book. I have read 3/4 of the book so far, and am saving the last little bit as a treat to myself.

  104. Ron’s fur is already red enough. I think the wig needs to go on Ermione.

    Average Jane recently posted Average Jane Starts Walking...Again.

  105. Dang! I’m coming home from Chicago one day before you are there. Bummer. Come to Memphis, TN. We have a great independent bookstore called Burke’s Books (small place, but it’s cool & in my awesome neighborhood of Cooper-Young.) I can get you their info. if you like…just email me.
    Oh, I already have the audiobook, but if you were coming to town, I’d get a hard copy too just to meet you and have you sign it. :-D

  106. I would like anything, then I can say Jenny Lawson gave me something, something special!

  107. 109
    Abby Knoblauch

    Audio audio audio. When I was little, I used to say video video video really fast to my little brother who, for some reason, found it terrifying. He’s in his 30s now and laughs about it. Until I start doing it again. And then he asks me to stop.

    Try it: saying video over and over fast. It’s fun. It makes your mouth do fun things and it’s wildly annoying and distracting for those around you, which I see as a bonus.

  108. I don’t want one. What I DO want is a Tribe Jenny shirt. Or Bloggess Tribe. Or well.. I’m sure you get the picture. Now see? You’ve got a distraction. Back to your old self in no time.

    I genuflect in your general direction… (south west), Chief Jenny.

    Me like’um. Heap big.

    Later, Doll….

  109. Audio version, please! It would complement my print version oh so nicely! I almost said “video,” which then put the Kidd Video theme song into my head. Anyone remember Kidd Video? Back when Saturday mornings were the only time cartoons were on tv. Kidd was so cute, real and cartoon versions.

  110. Audio, please!! The wig is a nice thought, but it’s a bit of a beast. It’d get me down too. Have fun bringing your version of reality to the East Coast!!

  111. 113
    Amy Breshears

    Wish you were coming through Charlotte, NC! I would love to have a copy of the audio book.

  112. I’m still holding my breath and hoping you’ll completely lose your mind and come to Phoenix in Summer so I can meet you. That said I’d love a copy of the audio version. I wanna hear those outtakes!

    Ami F recently posted French Peasant Soup.

  113. UK version for me pretty please!! :D

    Hope you are feeling yourself soon. I understand how you feel….

  114. Any chance you’ll be coming to Canada??? Like to Toronto, Ottawa or Montreal? Pretty, pretty please!? (I can’t make it if it’s in Vancouver, BC ’cause that’s like a 7 hour plane ride away… Hubs says it’s too expensive… jerk.)

    Karine recently posted Wacky Wonder Woman.

  115. That is a pretty magnificent wig .. maybe Ronald Weasely is just channeling his inner Fabio. I’d love to get any of the print versions of your book! It looks beyond funny.

    radioactivegan recently posted An evolution of desserts.

  116. When I’m not feeling myself these days, I read your book. (So the audio version would double my options!)

  117. I SO want the UK version, because I love the curly letters on the front. Or the audiobook, because I want to hear you read it. Or the Australian version, because then I’d imagine you reading it in an Australian accent with Texan undertones. Any of those would make me ecstatic.

    A friend of mine recommended your blog to me a few months ago. It was hilarious. So I had to read every entry in order, starting with June 2007. I just got up to date. That same friend is waiting for me to do something for him, but I haven’t had time, since I’ve been working and, um, reading your blog. He has nobody to blame but himself, because he really should have known that this would happen.

  118. I would love to have the UK edition of your book. The cover is fantastic.
    Glad your tour is going well, and hope you feel more like yourself soon!

    OnlyAverageMom recently posted Stop Bullying.

  119. Hey – you could take the train (The City of New Orleans) straight down from Chicago. It’s an overnight trip…get a sleeper car and byob. Seriously…it’s kinda on your way back home…

  120. I would kill for an audio version! Not literally, of course, but if necessary I can be talked into all kinds of things! It was SO amazing hearing just that one chapter in your own voice in MD, and I totally already hear it in your voice in my own head. Which is ALMOST as much fun as having it, but not quite.

    Feel more like yourself (or somebody else, whatever floats your boat), get your relax on, and have an awesome time on your next leg!

  121. Chicago!!!! I can get to Chicago. But there is a stuffed lioness in a Ramada lobby here in Milwaukee that you really should see. PLUS the first diorama for natural history display is here too. The famed muskrat display. You must come to Milwaukee! In the name of taxidermy you must come to Milwaukee!

    Korinthia recently posted Crazy Mixed-Up World.

  122. I’d love the UK version. I also cannot think of anything witty to say today. :)

  123. I’d love the UK version…pretty please with sugar on top!!

    p.s. Come to Fort Wayne, Indiana on your next tour!!! I can guarantee you that all the girls in my office will flock to see you! That’s 5 people–it’s all you need. Think about it…

  124. Audio book please. Though I’m not sure I will be able to handle what I imagine will be the pain in your voice while reading the dead babies chapter. I almost didn’t make it through.

    cassie recently posted wordless wednesday.

  125. 128
    Michelle

    AUDIO! Hearing you read the book will definitely help keep me awake on my long drive home after late classes!!!

  126. I’d love the UK or Australian version. Though audio would be cool, too. I’m not picky.

  127. YEAH, finally! So awesome, can’t wait! Hope you get some rest in between those legs! Wait, that didn’t sound right… ;)

    Robin recently posted What’s Better Than Ironic Mustache Wednesday?????.

  128. I love the wig! But, uh, did your friend confuse Ron Weasely with CarrotTop because that is some serious hair action going on! I been dying to buy your book, so thank you for giving me something to read on the plane to our honeymoon!

  129. The audio version. So that I can share your book with my husband. Who won’t read a book to save his life. (But his drawings and sense of humor are crazy awesome!)

  130. I’d love an UK version, so I could read it with Ron Weseal-y accuracy.

  131. A. DAMN, no Denver
    B. Audio!

    Mary recently posted Shuga’s.

  132. The red wig needs to go on Ermione!!!

    Melissa recently posted Spell check doesn’t know how to spell ‘mammaries.’ True story..

  133. Any version would be fantastic :)

    PS just got my tickets to see you in Chicago! Yay!

  134. I’d love the audiobook!

    Julie recently posted Baking soda and chia seeds.

  135. Aussie Aussie Aussie – Oi Oi Oi

  136. 139
    Dolores Gonzalez

    Audio. Thanks!

  137. I would love one of the UK books! Are you going to try to find a tiny frog for Ron like he had on the train when he met Harry? :)

  138. I would love the audiobook. Laughed out loud when I heard the clip, people around me were wondering what was going on.

    Chrissy.B recently posted Still alive, just busy..

  139. 142
    Yvonne Davis

    Uk version please! :) Loved it on my Kindle, would love a real book to hold and share!

  140. I’m in New Zealand so would love the Australian version. Please, pretty please ;-)

    Sue at Wub Boo Mummy recently posted The toddler cat food diet.

  141. Looking forward to meeting you on the 8th of June! My fiancee and I have been anxiously awaiting your book tour’s swing up this way!

  142. 145
    Stephanie

    I love the wig. You rock! :)

  143. I would love a print copy any print copy please :) and as for your tour you are going 1 town over from where i grew up :( I wish with all my heart I could be there. Maybe for leg 4 some where in central or north Florida? Jacksonville, Orlando, Gainesville, St. Augustine? somewhere not 6 hours away.

  144. 148
    Terri Queen

    Ron Weasley’s wig makes him look a little too much like Carrot Top, I think. A strange mash-up, to be sure.

    oh, and AUDIO

    <3

  145. Wittiness seems to come and go. Mine is currently out of commission as well, which is what apparently happens when you transcribe and code interviews for research. But if I were to get your audio book, I’d have something funny to listen to that I won’t need to transcribe since I already have the transcript in hardcover. :)

  146. 151
    Jennifer Vandale

    Aussie please, I love everything that has the tiniest hint of Oz attached to it :)

  147. So few people have stuffed weasels with nice wigs. And that scarf is just lovely. Exactly what the well-dressed weasels are wearing this season.

    Teresa Hill recently posted Five Days Grace.

  148. 153
    Angeerah

    I would love an audio version but what would be even better is an audio version with you doing a really bad British accent. Is that possible? Because that would be awesome. But yeah, audio please.

  149. 154
    Kathleen Smith

    I would love any of those versions!! I am curious to know the difference from the US version. I assume the Australian one is printed upside down.

  150. Holy shit, leg three, you have three legs? Are you kidding? Are you a child of thalidomide or something? Oh, I kid I kid, I can see you’re having a wonderful time.

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  151. I would love to hear your inflections to these stories – audio version for sure.

  152. How is the “historical accuracy” comment not witty? Would love love love the audio version.

  153. That looks more like Ermione’s wig to me!

  154. Oh, I would love the audio version, for sure! I have finished you book (fan-freaking-tastic), but I would love to hear it in your own words/voice!

  155. Audio please! <3 I'm so glad I got to see you in Gaithersburg. You were of course, amazing as always! <3

    Lesley recently posted Fairy Tales: And Then The Spider Almost KILLED Me. True Story..

  156. I want the U.K. version of your book.

    The print version in the Queen’s English.

    Where Beyonce is named Pip and your Dad only stuffs Royals.

    And I want Ron’s red wig.

    Or a stuffed Royal in the red wig.

    Preferably Charles.

    hogsatemysister recently posted Awesome Leaves Must Fall.

  157. Since I’m living in the UK: that one, please! Ron’s gone a bit Rebekah Brooks, hasn’t he? (e.g. http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/may/15/rebekah-brooks-charged-perverting-course-justice)

  158. WHOOPEE!!!! You’re coming to MA. You are SO on my calendar, girl! Will you sign my arm? (since your book is on my kindle… ;-) )

  159. I’d love the audio version. I’m planning on referring to your book when I teach a course on humor writing later this year… I already have the hardcover.

    Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted A Poem I Wrote When I Was 10.

  160. Audio version, please! And I still think you should come to Nashville!

    Elaine recently posted Dancing Queen.

  161. Good luck with the 3rd leg of your tour! I’m bummed I didn’t get to go see you when you were out here in LA, but such is life. And by the way, Ron Weasely looks like he’s channeling the awesome redheaded girl from Pixar’s new movie ‘Brave’.

    And ps. a UK edition of your book would be fantastic… just sayin’.

  162. 167
    Jennifer

    Any version of you is still a great version of you! Buck up buttercup….or some other witty saying that won’t do anything but make you annoyed or think on buttercups and what they are exactly. I mean butter is good. So’s a cup. How do you drink without one? So does that make a buttercup good? Hmm. Anyway, I’d love a UK audio version.

  163. Audio, please. I heard you speak in Annapolis, but I want the entire experience in your very own voice. (Psst, I’m STILL not really a stalker. I realize my case is getting weaker and weaker on this point).

    Misty recently posted At Least It’s Not Towels.

  164. Audio please. Love you no matter which self you are today :-)

  165. I’m not myself either; now that I realize I won’t see you on tour…

    I reckon you’re just going to have to come to visit for the weekend.

    Amo recently posted Deuce's Mother's Day Gift Guide.

  166. I’m so furiously happy that you are coming to Boston!
    And I would love an audio version, please!

  167. I’m totally bummed you’re not coming to Denver. It’s a really nice place, and it’s not too far from Boulder, so you’re guaranteed to have people come to see you who are weirder than you could ever imagine.

    I already have your book, so if you pick my name, please give the book to the next homeless person you see. Their signs always say “anything helps,” and a book is smack-dab in the middle of that category.

    Barbara recently posted If I Wanted America to Fail.

  168. I would love a copy of either Australia or UK. I will do my best to come to Brookline.

  169. So excited you are coming to Massachusetts. Both my mother and I are huge fans of the blog and book so we will be there!

  170. I’d love an audio. Pretty please with sugar on top?

  171. Yay! Brookline! I live right down the street from the Booksmith! Unfortunately I’ll be out of the country when you are there :-( I think the audio book would make up for me not being able to see you live.

  172. 177
    Pat Higgins

    After looking forward to having you visit my town, Annapols, I ended up missing the chance to come see you. Thanks Mom for making me take you to the ER and spending the night in the hospital…Don’t let that influence your decision though, unless it does, then audio book please :)

  173. Audio Version please

    cynicalbuddha recently posted The APO.

  174. Audio! Please please please! Haven’t been able to afford any version yet and an audiobook I could listen to during my delivery job would be AMAZING and make work infinitely more cheerful!

    Amy recently posted amy_leigh89: @KennethDH or a cutesie noun....

  175. I came to leave a comment about your tour and lookie I get to be in a drawing for AUDIO VERSION please.

    ok now then.. I *knew* you’d so be here for Boston Pride week! You are in Brookline on the 8th, the Boston Pride march is on June 9th. Come. Ride. With. Us!!!

    eastcoastbikerchicks.com :)

    we lead the parade and I’ll be on my Harley!

    comecomecomecomecomecomecome.please? I’m coming to the signing, you can’t miss me. butch. grey hair. non-blending material. and if it’s nice I’ll be on the bike.
    think it over until then. :)

  176. I’d love the U.K version please. I could hear you using a Texas/English accent as I read it. Sweet!
    I’m proud of your success. Attagirl!

    David recently posted Thought.

  177. I would love, love, LOVE the audio version since you’re the narrator.

  178. I would love the UK version. So unhappy I missed you in Houston.

  179. So excited you are coming somewhere not too far from where Im at in Kenosha. Will you be bringing Hamlet von Schnitzel with? Cant wait to meet you!

  180. Audio please, and I will take you any way I can get you. Wait, I didn’t mean that…well, I meant that, but not the way it sounded. Okay, maybe the way it sounded but I certainly didn’t mean to say it out loud. Pass the hooch.

  181. A copy of the audiobook would be delightful. Also, perhaps one day you’ll visit Pittsburgh on a book tour. =) You’ve definitely got some fans in the Steel City!

    Amy Lynn recently posted 2001: A Space Odyssey.

  182. Audio, Please, Thank You, and BlessYerHeart.

  183. Audio would be cool! I have your book on hold at the library, but would love to listen to it. Maybe it would teach my 18-month old some choice new words?!
    Also, come to Portland!
    Oregon, that is.
    We love you.

    Kylie recently posted Into the Mouth of Babes.

  184. 189
    Cassandra

    I’d be grateful for any version you would be willing to send me. It looks like everyone is pretty stoked about the UK & Audio versions, so I’d be more than happy to take an Australian version off your hands!

  185. 190
    over the hill mom

    So does that mean you put on an accent for the different countries? I am totally confused but would sooo love to win.

  186. UK! Oddly, your lack of wit still seemed witty. Huh….

  187. UK Version. The script on the UK front cover is making my font-nerdy heart squee.

  188. Could I please have the UK version? Haven’t been able to find your book in the U.S. yet.

  189. OOh! Audio version, please. Much love!

  190. It’s ok to not be witty sometimes. Can’t let the bar get too high, because then… you can’t reach the whiskey? I don’t know where I was going with that. Anywhoo, I’ve read the book twice now, so I’m gonna ask for the audio because I want to hear it how YOU read it, not the people in my head. THANK YOU for being you, witty or not!

  191. So jealous.

    I’d love to have a third leg.

    Jumping would be so much easier.

    moooooog35 recently posted 50 Shades of what?.

  192. 197
    Julianne Terrill

    Rest…rest is the answer to all things

  193. 198
    Sarah Furlo

    I would love the audio version!

  194. Audio version all the way! It’s probably the only way I’d manage to get my bestie to “read” your book. She’s anti-words or something. Maybe anti-paper. I can’t be sure.

    NewMommyConfessions (@NewMommyConfess) recently posted Themed Care Package Fun - Mess Deck Survival Kit.

  195. I just finished the book and immediately lent it to my sister, who is already well into it. I would love to actually hear it read via audio-book!

  196. 201
    Patricia West

    I would LOVE to have an audio version!

  197. 202
    Elizabeth B

    I would love to have the audiobook please and thanks!

  198. Audio!! :-)

  199. audio version please!!!! :)

    megan recently posted remembering how to ride.

  200. Audio version, definitely! I wish I could’ve attended your Gaithersburg event, but life got in the way :( Good luck with the 3rd leg of your tour!

    Colleen recently posted Pinnably delicious.

  201. Audio version, please please! Oh the wig!

  202. So at some point in the tour we need to get thee more south of Annapolis, more north of any part of VA, to be smack dab in DC. AND THEN I’M THERE!

    Also, I want either the audio or physical version. I’m begging and beggars cannot be choosy, as my mother says. Well, she’s actually wrong (as usual); they can be: the homeless woman outside the Metro who declined food when her sign clearly read “Hungry. Will die tonight without some sort of food” said “I don’t eat that shit” when offered a sandwich someone had from home.

    Arnebya recently posted This Is How I Feel.

  203. I would love either the audio version or Australian. Because they have wombats in Australia and a disturbing lack of waffles.

  204. 209
    Christine M

    Ron’s wig makes him look like Merida from that new Pixar movie Brave. Just saying.

    And the audio version would be awesome if you pick me :)

  205. I would love the UK version!

  206. It’s the Monday blahs. You have photos of taxidermied animals wearing scarves. There is no truly OFF day for you, imo.

    Karen Sanders recently posted Support, Not In a D-cup Way.

  207. I’d like the audio version since I’ve already purchased the book. Plus I can fall asleep to the sound of your voice… er uhm… insert something less creepy here.

  208. I wish you were coming all the way up to Milwaukee, I’ll have to try to get my butt to your Chicago stop!
    If I were to win, I’d take the UK version.

  209. 214
    fussybritches

    Oh yay! You’ll be here for the Printer’s Row Lit Fest! (Wow, I just realized that’s one letter away from a WHOLE different kind of festival…though no less fun, I’m sure.) See you there!

    I’d opt for audio since I’ve already bought two print copies (one for me, one for my mom so she’d give me mine back).

  210. 215
    Jennifer Fink

    OMG – I would LOVE an audio version! You reading the Series of helpful post it notes for my husband would be priceless!

  211. UK version please…this way it’s a few degrees closer to Doctor Who too :)

    Natalie recently posted Rising 3L.

  212. Yay! I love giveaways! I wish you were coming to Seattle though. Or have you? I’m not myself today either.

    At any rate, if I’m lucky enough to win, I’ll take an audio version, please.

  213. 218
    michelle

    UK please?! You’ve given us enough wit for several more days, I think… enjoy the tour!

  214. The UK version would be most lovely if you happen to choose me. triple thanks in advance.

    And Ron’s wig looks amazing, that’s how I’d imagine he’d look in the book,you know, if he were in a heavy metal band. Or something.

    Rebekah Mae recently posted There's a strong chance that I'm moving to New England in the Fall.

  215. Why no Pacific NW leg?!

  216. 221
    TamaraPaints

    I’d love an audio version!! It was so awesome when you came to Atlanta btw!

  217. 222
    c8h10n4o2

    Audio! I can’t listen to music when I’m walking the dog because it throws off my stride, and since we kind of live in the ghetto, laughing hysterically for no reason helps keep the muggers from bothering to try and steal my poop bags.

  218. 223
    Heather Rivet

    Wish your tour was going to bring you to the great white north up here in Canada!! I suppose my hurt could be soothed with a copy of the audio book! :)

    P.S. That’s how I imagine Ron Weasley would look during his 80s hair band phase….

  219. 224
    Jamie A.

    Audio please. I saw you in Atlanta and you were awesome. I wish I could be as awesome as you.

    Seriously.

    I may have a tiny lesbian crush on you. Maybe.

  220. I want to hear you, so I prefer audio!
    connie
    Ps, If you aren’t quite you, who else are you?

  221. Would love a hard copy of the book! Wish you were coming to CT!

    kt recently posted Job Offer.

  222. I wants a book. Gives me one of those “you have to turn the pages and read it” type books or the “stick it in and push play” kind. I am not picky. = )

    p.s. I have been officially upgraded from homeless to a home on wheels. My dog Rupert and I bought our very first car today. It was so scary and exciting. Yay! us. Maybe next time you go on tour I can drive somewhere and find you and wave from a distance because I will be too nervous to come up and say hi.

    “Don’t Leave” … bestest advice ever!

  223. I would LOVE a copy of the audiobook. Especially since I will be going to Boston in June and plane travel makes me extremely anxious but it must be done because I am officiating at a wedding and it would be awesome to have you reading to me on the plane.

    I gave my Mom a copy of your book for Mother’s Day. I haven’t really heard from her since then. I don’t know if this means she’s not speaking to me or laughed herself hoarse (or, God Forbid, to death). She told me she expected to get some insight into my psyche from reading the book, since I tell her all the time how well I relate to what you write about.

    MsDarkstar recently posted Summoned.

  224. 229
    Melzora Towne

    Audio version so I can listen to it in the car and hopefully run into jogger who regrets eating a cookie, then I have an excuse I can blame it on laughing too hard to see the skinny bitch. The cops would understand that… right???

  225. Seeing you in Charlotte was wonderful last week! Thanks so much for signing my metal chicken! I would LOVE to have the audio version of your book!

  226. I wish you could come to Klagenfurt, Austria so that I could have you sign my book! You are my favorite woman in the world second only to Condoleeza Rice (I mean c’mon with that bad ass name (I am only judging based on names – to make my favorite woman in the world contest fair)). I am probably going to rig the intercom of my German speaking school and make them all listen to me read it to them, they will be unwilling at first but they would become enamored with you, erecting Jenny Lawson statues, and then attempting to find you. All of Austria would become obsessed with you and nominate you to rule their country in a communistic style.
    It will benefit you greatly.

    Morgan B. recently posted Death Train.

  227. 232
    Kristi Amick

    Still no Denver?!? *sob* A copy of the audio book might help make up for that oversight. Maybe.

  228. UK version. Or any of them. Why is the UK cover so much more whimsical and lovely on the cover than the US version? Are Brits more open to whimsy than we are?

  229. For all y’all who can get to a reading, DO IT. I am still appreciating hearing your material, Jenny, in your own voice a few weeks ago when you were over here in the paradise that is the San Francisco Bay Area. I don’t need an audio book, just wanted to say damn, you’re awesome. XO

    Ariane recently posted Taking the time it takes.

  230. Take a break. Eat some every flavor beans.

    If I were to win an audio book, I’d be very happy.

  231. You have three legs?

    Also, I’d like the audiobook please!

  232. Uk! I have to say, I think Ron Weasley looks a lot more like Hermione now! What with the length and texture!

  233. I would so so so SO LOVE an audiobook!!
    Again, need something to keep me sane-ish in the lab. Or at least make me giggle until I don’t care. Either will work.

    Brenna recently posted Where/When the hell am I?.

  234. Audio book! My eight year old son has already picked up the book with the cute mouse on the front and started reading.

  235. –>Does Ron’s carpet match the drapes? I’m asking for a friend.

    WebSavvyMom recently posted Wordless Wednesday - Not for the Squeamish.

  236. That wig is awesome! And, if I were to win I would love the audio version!

    Kristin recently posted Mother's Day.

  237. Would be grateful for an audio copy. My husband and I love your blog! He brought me a double unicorn success club t-shirt for me for mother’s day. You are touching lots of lives, I hope you know.

  238. I would love an audio copy of your book. I wish me of your dates was in Ontario so I could be close enough to come and see you.

  239. 244
    J. Martin

    UK edition..plz?

  240. Audio! And I’m still sad you aren’t coming to Seattle. I don’t even know you and I miss you. Sigh.

    Adrasteia recently posted How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways..

  241. One. One of your dates.

  242. 247
    NotNatalie

    Jenny! I’m so disappointed! The day you’ll be in Boston I’ll be in New York visiting my Swiss friend. Any chance you’ll be coming back? Life is so unfair.

  243. OH MY GOSH! I’m so excited you will be in Brookline!! Can’t wait to see you!

    And please may I have the UK version of your book? That would be jolly badass!

    Accio Jenny!

    Megan recently posted Roxy’s Grilled Cheese.

  244. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE the book!!!

    Lori recently posted Mother's Day Weekend.

  245. I would love an audio version! Or UK. Or Aussie. But audio is my first choice.

    Skerrib recently posted Homebirth-A-Go-Go 2012--Part II....

  246. Any of the above. I haven’t been able to fit one into the budget yet and my “new book” change jar keeps getting raided by my teenagers. The wait is killing me! Well, maybe not killing me but it is definately making me twitch.

  247. I’m not picky, just pick-me!! :)

  248. 253
    Jammie C

    Please Please Please come to Washington!! We NEED you here! I will even buy a hardcopy (already got my kindle version) of your book for you to sign!

  249. I’m thrilled I might get to see you in Montclair AND at the Blog Expo in NYC!

    (Hoping for the audio book.)

    Cris recently posted In Which I Remember to Think First.

  250. the audio please!!

  251. I would love any version of your books. :-) I still think you’re absolutely amazing for doing this tour. Way to be a rock star.

    Ron looks like he’s gone all hippie, with a permanent wave. But it all strangely fits in with the dolls in the background.

    Kelly at Cibatarian recently posted I'm back...sort of...well, getting there.

  252. 257
    Cuntress

    Do you have UK or Australian versions of the audio book? Cause that would be pretty sweet if you read the whole book to us in an accent. If not, I would still like an audio book in your lovely voice. Wish you were coming to Seattle! Next book?

  253. Audio please please please!!

  254. Any would be fine with me!

  255. 260
    Jammie C

    PS I would LOVE the audio version!

  256. 261
    FieryPinkGirl

    You mustn’t cut his hair! Like Samson, he’ll lose all his power!

    BTW, Audio me!

  257. 262
    Elizabeth M.

    HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHITYOU’RECOMINGTOCHICAGOANDIT’SREAL

    HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT

    Oh, if I win, audio, but I don’t need to win because I’m already winning because OMG YOU’RE COMING TO CHICAGO AND IT’S REAL OMG.

  258. 263
    Stephanie

    The Weasely wig is more like “Sideshow Bob”–imagine the Simpsons episode in which he sings the whole score to HMS Pinafore to Bart for the best contextualisation…

  259. I desperately want the audio book. I’ve heard from all my bloggy friends who have been lucky enough to see you on your book tour that your book is even funnier when you read it. Besides, it will make the lives of truckers more exciting if I listen to your book while driving down the interstate…laughing and crying.

    Kitten Thunder's Girl recently posted Kitten Cute Fest.

  260. I’d love an audio version! (p.s. was sooooo bummed I didn’t get a chance to come see you last weekend in G’burg!! Darn kids mucked everything up!)

    Kyra recently posted My heart smiles..

  261. Actually, if we’re talking Ron Weasley circa Goblet of Fire, the wig is accurate… he could’ve given Ariel a run for her money with that hair.

    Rachel recently posted Obviously it's some kind of conspiracy.

  262. Uk Version for sure! It’s full of whimsy!

    Michelle recently posted Not Exactly Politically Correct.

  263. I welcome Ron’s copper tresses to the redhead collective.
    Also – were you so inclined an audiobook would be spiffy (as I already own and have read the hardcover).
    I really enjoyed the short audio clip you shared with a few weeks ago.
    Also – still waiting for the Northwest leg of your tour. ;-)

    John Lewis recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  264. Just ordered your book. So glad it’s available in a Dutch bookstore. Looking forward to reading it. Love your blog.

  265. I would adore the audio version. Almost as much as I adore you. But since it’s you reading it… Does that mean I’d adore it all the more?

  266. 271
    hi_desertgirl

    JUNE 8–are you kidding me? The one day I can absolutely NOT be there because of middle school graduation???? Come on! Karma–you ARE a bitch and I HATE you!!!

  267. OoOoOOOooooh! I’d love to win the audio version. You’re kind of my hero.

    Teresa recently posted It’s Not all Fun & Dildos….

  268. 273
    Fuchsia Groan

    I, Too have nothing witty to say. I do know that a UK version of your audio book would make driving to my PGCE placement a lot more enjoyable.

  269. Oh, audio, without question :)
    But, you can add questions if you like :) :)

  270. Ron Weasely looks like Carrot Top. Hide your steroids.

  271. 276
    Traci Tolan

    I just may have to come see you in Chicago. I would love the audio tape book.

  272. Audio would be awesome!

  273. I would love the audio!

  274. Audio Book, please! I would love to be able to hear your expressions with all of your stories. You rocked it in Gaithersburg last weekend!!

  275. I want the Australian version, because my Australian best friend is about to move back to her home country and abandon me – your book might make her absence a little easier to bear.

    btw, congrats on all your success!!!

  276. You started a sentence with “Leg Three” and couldn’t come up with a joke for that? IT’S A THIRD LEG, JENNY!!

    I’m worried.

    Should we send help?

  277. I saw “Leg Three” and thought this would be about imaginary friends. *sigh*

    Morgan Eckstein recently posted My current project list.

  278. Audio please! Hoping to make it to Montclair in a couple of weeks!!!

  279. 284
    Naomi Harris

    These are the moments when you seem so very real and unapologetically human to me. These are the moments, when your tempo changes for no specific reason, that I see myself in. Where I know that every part of me, the ups, downs, and all arounds, are pretty fabulous too in their own way. No reason or excuse necessary. Thanks for sharing all of you with all of us.

  280. 285
    Kathleen

    Audio please and thank you!

  281. So sorry you are not feeling quite yourself today. Feel better soon.. I would love any version of your book, prefer hands on.

  282. Ooh! Sign me up for the audio book! I hope you find yourself soon – your wit is missed! :)

  283. Always okay to be just who you are. It helps, though, if who you are is a renowned bestselling author :) I’m happy with anything free you want to throw at me. Though, I guess I would choose the audio because it would probably hurt less when it hit me in the face.

  284. I would love the Australian or UK version. Thanks for making me laugh!

  285. 290
    Heather Muns

    I would love the audio version! :) Hope you are feeling back to your normal self soon.

  286. I heard you/met you in San Angelo, Tx and encourage everyone to make an effort if you are anywhere close. An experience not to be missed. I would love the audio book so I could keep you in my car for when I need a good laugh/pick-me-up!

  287. I am still hoping for the audio version. My library isn’t carrying the audio and I would LOVE to listen to it.

  288. I would love, love, LOVE the UK version of the book!!! Please oh please oh please!

  289. 294
    Courtney Lawrenz

    Audio version please. The author reading her own story is awesome!
    Thanks for being you; you bring smiles to many, many faces.

  290. 295
    Susan Davis

    Audio, please!

  291. 296
    Elena Roberts

    Audio please — I want to hear if the reading of it by someone outside my head is as funny as the words I hear in my head!

  292. 297
    Stephanie Edwards

    The Audio Version! You’re great!

  293. 298
    Victoria

    That wig is hideously awesome. ;)

    An audio version would be so cool!

  294. The UK version. It’s got a pretty front-page font :D

    Alyssa recently posted Hurry Up!.

  295. My first thought when I saw that picture was, “Why is Ron cross-dressing as Hermione?” That wig would be PERFECT for her, if it were a little more brown. :o)

    And if I’m lucky enough to get picked – UK version please! Or the audio. :o)

  296. M.U.S.T. H.A.V.E. A.U.D.I.O. V.E.R.S.I.O.N. *If you had the audio version of me reading my comment, I would sound like a zombie. It is a gateway to the apocalypse. There honestly is no other way to read it. In fact, you just read it in your own zombie voice and can feel a certain apocalyptic breeze through the crack under the door. I’m sorry.

  297. Audio version, please, for the hard of seeing.

  298. 303
    Melissa L.

    I would LOVE an audio book!
    When you coming to Cleveland, OH???? You have no tour dates here and i’m seriously sad!!!

  299. Ron Weasley’s wig will need the hair straightened as well – or a story about why he suddenly has curls!

    I would love the UK version, I think the more whimsical cover is adorable.

    Cocoonivus recently posted Old Girls, Golden Girls.

  300. AUDIO please! I must hear your voice telling me your stories as I hear your voice in my head as I read anyway! BTW…could you add just ONE more leg to your tour…the Pacific Northwest LOVES you, and if you came to, say, Walla Walla, Washington or La Grande, Oregon, I GUARANTEE at least two people would show up! ;-)

  301. UK audio please!

    *crosses fingers*

    *and toes*

    The String Empire recently posted Sew Mama Sew Giveaway day.

  302. Audio version, but only if read by you.

  303. Lit fest? In Chicago? OH, the possibilities.

    PS I’d love the audiobook.

    Suniverse recently posted It's Movie Time.

  304. I’d love to have the UK version, I love the cover for that one.

  305. And I really need to remember that text emoticons change into images here as my “smile” comes out as a surprised face! :)

  306. I am coming to Chicago!!!!

    (and I would LOVE to hear the singing on the audio book! please, please!!!)

  307. I’d adore an audio version!

  308. Ron’s accessories are fabulous! I’d love a UK copy if you are so inclined. :)

  309. 314
    Michele E.

    UK version pretty please….

  310. Aww maybe you’ll come to CT on leg 4?? Wait, does that mean your book tour will take on some sort of animal persona then (4 legs…)?

    I’m going to be taking a 10 hour road trip next month, I’d love the audio version to help pass the time driving!

  311. Audio if I didn’t miss the boat.

  312. Good lord, Ron Weasely made me giggle.

    Jaime recently posted Motherhood & More: Life wears you down, love keeps you going*.

  313. The wig is awesome. I don’t think it needs a thing done to it.

    Courtney recently posted Photo.

  314. OPLEASEOPLEASEOPLEASE pick me! I need to hear you sing the titles on the audiobook! (but if that’s already gone, I’ll take the whimsicle UK edition!)

  315. OMG!! There’s a possibility I can come see you at Printer’s Row! Wooeee!!!

    Also, where is the picture of you with 3 legs?

    Kathleen recently posted Saloon Girl.

  316. Audio version for sure!

  317. Your book is on my list of many to read and/or listen to! Would love the audio version!

  318. I wish you were going to be in the Phoenix Area. I would love to pick up you book directly from you! I would like to UK version if i win :)

  319. 324
    Gia Caldera

    PLEASE, for the love of God and all things holy, please bestow an audiobook to me!! I’m whimsy, I swear I am!! :)

  320. UK version… audio version… ARGH. @.@

    Sad thing is my parents asked what present I want for my Nameday tomorrow and everything I want would have to be bought online from abroad and they’re just not able to do it ARGH.

  321. 326
    Meredith R.

    I would love the UK version with the cool cover!

  322. Love the UK version. Ummm? Please? Pretty Please?

    hellpellet recently posted shut up.

  323. 328
    Michelle

    The audio version of your book would officially make me the coolest person I know!

  324. 329
    Kara Rosales

    Audio, please, please, please!

  325. I would love to have the audio book. But more importantly, I wish I could get you a “Harry Otter” for your collection. But when I looked up taxidery otters…well the price was a bit steep. But my heart was in the right place!

  326. Pretty please can I have the audio version. We are driving to NOLA this summer and that would rule. Because I love you!

  327. Cannot wait until you come to Massachusetts!! I’m halfway through your book, but I fully plan on being finished with it by June 8th. If you’re giving away audio books, I’d love one of those because I won’t lie – I dislike reading, but you’re book is just too freaking awesome to NOT read (hence why I caved and am reading it). See you in 2.5 weeks! I’ll have to start thinking of some strange, yet notable, gift to give you……

  328. Audio would be lovely then I can make my boyfriend listen to it in the car on long trips (like maybe to Chicago to see you on the last week of your tour!) and we can hear it waaaaaaay too much together!
    We’ll bond, it’ll be wonderful!

  329. Hi Jenny, I would LOVE a copy of the Australian version!

    Just wanted to say too how great it is to hear updates on the tour and how fabulously well your book is doing!! :)

  330. I would be up for the Audio version. I’ll still be at your Chicago signing to buy a book and get it autographed!

  331. Audiobook …for our road trip this summer!

  332. i would like the UK or Australia version because I spent half my honeymoon reading my kindle version on the toilet bowl

  333. I would like the audio version of your book please. Or the UK copy of the book, either would be cool. :)

    In case the sob story will help my chances, both my remaining grandparents just died in the past 10 days and I could use a laugh, so the book would really help me not be a miserable git right now.

  334. That wig is seriously some shawn white sh*t!! UK version please

  335. 340
    David S. Perry

    I’d love the audio book!
    Always beware the 3rd leg!

  336. OMG, OMG, OMG, you’re coming to my neighborhood! I’m all a-flutter. I get to meet the funniest person on the Internet in actual person in Montclair, NJ. I’m so excited. You don’t have to give me any kind of free book because I need to buy one at Watchung Booksellers in Montclair. (I think I’ll buy the US version, eh?) I will need you to sign it for me because I totally lack the imagination to come up with something unique for you to sign.

  337. I don’t care which one I get if I win – just pick me!

  338. uk version please! that red wig is awesome. ron’s a very lucky weasel!

  339. 344
    Bianca Hawk

    I’d love the audio version! You’re the best!

  340. 345
    Lauren G.

    Audio audio! Your voice is so weird!

  341. UK version PLEASEEEEEEE

  342. Audio, please. (Love Ron’s new scarf!)

  343. dudeeeeeeeeeee is it in an aussie accent??? I want that otherwise plain old english :D anyway ron looks like ginny so watch out for hairy otter cause he might have ummmmm ideas :D

  344. Audio! To make up for the fact that you didn’t come to Seattle so I didn’t get to hear you in person. :)

    Roozal recently posted Elder Care Supplies | Senior Care Products | BeverlysDaughter.com.

  345. 350
    Stephanie R.

    AUDIO! And I pray you used an accent with it too!!!

    Also, Ron’s wig looks like it belongs to Ms. Grangers, I say dye it! I’ll keep my eyes open for a perfect Ron wig!

  346. UK version please. Or audio. Whichever.

  347. 352
    Angela Johnson

    Audio, yo.

  348. 353
    Kathleen

    I would LOVE an audio version!

  349. I would love the UK version of the book! I’m nearly fluent in British, you know.

  350. 355
    Count Megula

    I feel, quite strongly, that you should come to Canada on your tour! Specifically, Vancouver, BC. Please and thank you (see? we are *really* polite). Also, this whole “third leg” of your tour – is that some sort of thinly veiled penis reference? As in, leg one was the right one. Leg two was the left. And now there’s the mysterious third leg… I’m just sayin’ ;)

    ps. Audio book please! I’m not sure if it’s possible, but I think you’re book might be funnier with your vocal intonation. Although, since I’d be listening to it while driving it might not be safe. That’s a chance I’m willing to take though. That’s how brave of a fan I am.

    pps. Penis.

  351. UK version please! So I guess your trip is called “Tripod” eh?

    Tiffany recently posted 12 Classics in 1 Year.

  352. I’m soooooooo sad that you are not coming to Louisiana! :( Of course, I’ll take ANY version.

  353. 358
    Stephanie R.

    I think you should choose me just for pure idioticy, I’m not ev en sure that’s a word!
    BUT I just realized that I didn’t add Australian to my comment!!!!

  354. I have the UK book already thanks, I’ve read it cover to cover and loved it. But why did they change the cover? It has the ugliest title in weird lettering.

  355. Dear madam,

    I would greatly appreciate the whimsy of the UK version of your fantastic book.
    And it deserves high praise because my friends, who dislike reading, are being forced to read your book by yours truly, and they now love it.

    Thank you for your contribution to the I’m-Going-To-Make-Them-Read-Even-If-It’s-The-Last-Thing-I-do Organization.

    Zena Zee recently posted Karate Shall Kill Me.

  356. 361
    Murf Mensch

    I want the UK or Aussie Audio book in which you fake their accent as badly as possible.

  357. audiobook would rock!

  358. 363
    Deanne Ramirez

    Ooooh, AUDIOBOOK! AUDIOBOOK!

  359. I’d love to have an audiobook…. I’d like to hear your telling of the story.

    Jaime recently posted the fate of the world..

  360. Book! Love the real mckoy!

  361. Audio version please!

  362. Everybody has off days :) I know I would be a hot mess after being on the road for as long as you have been now. I would love an audio version of your book since I so rarely have time to read with my 3 y/o and 4 y/o around. I would also kill for some of your super awesome animals in costume…but I would settle for a book

    Heidi recently posted My Mommy has boobies!!!.

  363. UK version!

    Di recently posted Hey look! It’s a post!.

  364. So cute! I would love the audio version!

  365. I would love to have the audiobook, but I’d take any of ‘em! I wish I could have come see you in Annapolis, but alas, I have anxiety issues & couldn’t have faced the crowd. : (

  366. Audio please!

  367. I’m off today too. It’s been a weird one. Hope we’re both back to our usual selves soon.
    I would very much like the UK version.

  368. I’d love a copy of the audio book. I’d also love to hear you on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. I’d also love a mint chocolate chip ice cream bar.

  369. I want the one with the funky tree root font!!! Just because I think it’s spoooooooky and cool. (kind of like you)

  370. I love the red wig and I would love the audiobook.

  371. I’d love the UK version. Hope you feel better!! And sad you never made it to Portland OR – we need you here. :)

  372. Audio! Audio! I’d love to hear you say douchecanoe. It’s kinda my dream.

  373. 378
    TehTimmah

    Ron and ‘Emione need wands. Epic sparkly wands.

  374. Audio Pah-leaze!!!

  375. Audio book please! I’m almost through reading the book (It’s amazing!) but I can only imagine how hearing it in your narration would be, laugh out loud funny I’m sure!

    Maria D. recently posted Keeping It Real.

  376. I would love the audio!! I hope you feel better!

    Jenn recently posted Dear Grandma,.

  377. I would appreciate any – Australian (I am DownUnder, after all. Just not in Australia, I’m across the Ditch), UK or audio.

    And let’s face it, sometimes trying to be witty sucks. Especially if you’re not in the mood. I’ll take the Bloggess in whichever mood she’s in ;)

  378. Although I have already bought a copy, I would love to not have to read your book! I’d rather listen!

  379. Audio would be awesome.
    Thanks for making the rounds on the tour.

  380. Audio, please, please, pretty please?

    Does it bump up my chances if I promise to make my friend meet me in Chicago for your signing?

  381. I’m reading your book now, and wanted you to know I’ve almost peed myself several times. Oh, and the book is funny, too!

    I’d love an audio copy, if I win. :)

  382. 387
    Michelle from Missouri

    I would love the audio version! Thanks!

  383. I would LOVE an audio book! :) Thanks for inspiring me not to be afraid of my own misfit voice.

  384. I want that red wig. That is all.

    "Susan Says..." recently posted High Anxiety.

  385. Audio please! Well, actually any of them would be fine :)

  386. That UK cover makes me furiously happy. It’s absolutely the one I’d pick…unless you are planning on doing a British- or Aussie-accented audiobook. That would totally rock too!

  387. When you have three legs do you buy two sets of the same shoes or opt to give the third leg its own different shoe?

    I’d like to win an audio version.

    alaina recently posted Cleavage Evolution..

  388. The audio book would be my choice, please! :)

  389. I would love to listen to the audio book! your readings on your tour have been amazing!

  390. I would love the audio book! Thanks so much for coming to Maryland and signing my actual book. <3

  391. 396
    Kara Juhlin

    Oh dear, Ron Weasely looks kinda like carrot top. I love it, though, and the scarf is awesome! I just finished reading my friend’s copy of your book, and I loved it! I would love the audio book, though!

  392. 397
    Wendy Howard

    Would love a copy of your book for my small community library, here in Kaiwaka, New Zealand! Not fussy on which edition, any would be welcome. The library is run by volunteers, on a very small budget.

    I’ve been a fan of your blog since a friend posted on Facebook about the giant metal chicken, and I pass it on to friends every chance I get. And respect your posts about mental health – they’ve been an eye-opener to me, and they’ve given me new perspective on life, the universe, and everything. Thank you for that!

  393. I’d love a copy of the audiobook!

  394. 399
    Liz the Insane

    I have nothing witty to say either (must be something in the air!) so I will just note that the UK version would be whimsilicious!

  395. 400
    Darlene B

    I desperately need a copy of your audio book. I drove 167 miles to see you in (near) Miami. Very well worth it. I have read your book twice (twice, I say!!) now and absolutely HAVE to hear you read it. Sorry I’m not very witty, I leave that to the experts like you!

  396. 401
    Sam Marlow

    Trapped by the silver ribbon loved your book and have a few stories to top yours, like when I climbed to the the top of the pyrimid of the sun – and why isn’t human sacifice legal, cause when I’m in a mood I can think of a few people to try it on. Please send me Australian audio versions of the book although I am a Doctor fan.

  397. 402
    Michelle

    I would love a UK version of your book. I sort of collect them because they seem so much cooler than the US versions. And I read them with a British accent in my head. FYI, Anthony Bourdain sounds really funny with a British accent.

  398. I want Juanita… Oh did you men a book? I’ll take a hard bound version please….

  399. 404
    Sam Marlow

    Or the time I played Dracula and pasted out at the sight of blood and made national news wire (AP)

  400. Is it too late to beg for an Australian copy of the book? The Bloggess the first website that I open at work every morning to get my day off to a good start. If I have the book, I could get everything off to a good start. Pretty please?

  401. Either of the paper editions would be a joy, seeing as they don’t sell your book at my local bookstore. They must be strictly anti-deer sweater. It’s the only plausible explanation.

  402. Being Aussie, I’d love the Australian version of your book! I keep forgetting to order it, then my kids do annoying things like eat all the food so I have no money again. One day I will just let them starve and order it. They can survive off laughter for a week :)

  403. I’ll have you know this is the first time EVER I have commented on someone’s blog. Yes, I like you THAT much. I’d love any type of copy of your book, but more importantly, I want to know WHY you aren’t coming to the most amazing state of Colorado?!? I’d love to meet you and possibly even bring you a taxidermied animal of sorts. Consider making another leg of your journey and include CO–everyone here loves you!

  404. Laughed so hard I had tears running down my face! Awesome. I’m happy you’ll be coming to Chicago. My sister just got tickets ordered to see you! If you get a chance to come to Peoria, IL, I will be able to come see you. I’m happy she can go and take pics. I’m so jealous:) I hope you are having a good week!

  405. 410
    Jerri DesJarlais

    uk version…please, please, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  406. Audio book please!! I’m SO EXCITED you’re coming to Chicago, I’ll see you there!!

  407. I’d love the Australian one! Given that I live in Australia, and all.

    Margaret recently posted Yes, this means the Guild booster is a no-brainer despite considering that somewhat problematic, too.

  408. 413
    Merete Sorum

    the audio version for for real make this year.

  409. Audiooooooo! I am dying to hear you read to me!

    Gesci recently posted How to Save Lives and Love Your Pets.

  410. historical accuracy is for suckers. long, flowing red locks are for the ron we all wished he would be in our heart of hearts. seriously he looks just like my scottish lumberjack first boyfriend. once, i braided his hair around straightened clothes-hangers and he looked just like pippi longstocking. it was fabu. ….if that is your definition of fabu: a male pippi. apparently it’s mine.

    audio version, please!

    michele recently posted Magnetic Fridge Words of the Day: Till Sex Cat Grass.

  411. Its hard to choose between the Uk version and the audio….How about if I let you pick?
    Thanks!

  412. Audio version!

    I was reading your book in bed around 1:00am, because that’s what I do. I started laughing so hard at your story of taking too many laxatives and thinking a rapist slipped a note under the bathroom door that I shook the bed with my convulsions, waking up my other half. He mistook my laughter and enjoyment as having some sort of mental break/panic attack (not out of the realm of possibities at 1am) and started consoling me. I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to tell him it was a good thing. Thanks for everything you’ve written – past, present, and future.

  413. I think Ron looks a bit to much like “carrot top” for his own safety.

  414. I love the cover on the UK version, but since I already have the US edition, I’d go for the audio book.

  415. Audio! (Since I already bought two copies of The Book. lol)

    Kim recently posted My chat with a psychic....

  416. 421
    Sheridan

    Australian version please!!!
    And of you want to deliver it in person, you can totally stay with us in suburban Melbourne.
    It’s almost exactly like where you live, except for all the nature. And bobcats. I don’t think we have bobcats here. But we do have an assortment of deadly snakes and spiders so it’s still always an adventure!

  417. 1. Yay for having a third leg! Not many people have one of those.
    2. That wig is epic-ly… epic. I have no words.
    3. I hope you start to feel better. I’ve been more myself this week than I have in the past month and it’s been a breath of fresh air. I hope your break between legs (would that be a crotch?)… Whatever it is… I hope it’s relaxing.
    4. If you need someone to talk to, you can always call me. I’m a great friend. I’ll send you pie.

    Keaven Neely recently posted My Babies Made Me Crazy.

  418. I’d love an audio or UK copy please!

    Dana recently posted New Journey Art.

  419. Ooh! Ooh! Aussie version please!!

    Hannah O'Brien recently posted Want to change your life? First, change your story..

  420. Audio!!!!!! Please.

  421. 426
    Jeanette

    I would love a copy of the audio book!

  422. Do the UK and Australian versions come with their respective regional accents?! If so, I want the UK version…

    But really, I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED the audio book!!!!

  423. I’d love the UK version – I like the title font better. Or…..if you read the audio version yourself, then I guess I’d prefer that. How’s that for indecision?

  424. No request as we already have the audio book…which is awesome. I am glad that your publisher overlords paid attention to my comment a while back about you coming to Chicago. I assume it was that and not something insubstantial like sales data or purchaser demographics. It’s how most PR decisions are made, by consulting my comments on other people’s blogs.

    Pissed Off Type One Diabetic recently posted Iced Irish Creamed Almond Coffee.

  425. tomorrow is my birthday. i’m not having dinner with you, but my husband, who isn’t as funny or witty as you are.

    I’ll take an audio book, please. I drive from raleigh to philadelphia a few times a year and your audio book will remind me that SOMEONE BRINGS ME JOY AND LAUGHTER.

  426. I dont like his new wig. he’s trying too hard.

    *audio book please*

  427. come to Sacramento CA!!!

  428. 433
    Andrea in Kansas

    Audio! Will you be coming to Kansas?

  429. Aussie.

  430. I would love any version in English that I can get. i would especially like the audio version as I listen to them everyday on my bike rides along the beach in Santa Monica, Ca.

  431. 436
    MIchelle

    If you could use a handholder, or crowd mananger I can yell “back off” with them best of them, fetch you shushies and whatever else you would deem for me to do. I love books but am coming downtown for you to sign mine and would love to hang out!

  432. And are you ever coming to the beach in Santa Monica, Ca.?

  433. 438
    Anonymous

    I love Ron weasly and his historically inaccurate wig and I love that you have people that make clothes for your friends!

  434. …hope you enjoy your 3rd leg! I’d LOVE an audio book… I just got my copy from Amazon–pre ordered but just arrived, I live in the Canadian Arctic so postage takes awhile!
    :) Sarah

  435. I would love an audio version of your book. It would give me something amazing to listen to while I’m not feeling well enough to sit up :)

    The Nice Lady recently posted Spring Migration.

  436. I would love a UK version, that way I can imagine the Doctor saw it in a book store and sent it to me. :)

  437. I would LOVE any of the versions of your book, but as I already own the hardcopy – the audio version would be my pick. Hope you get some much needed rest. That tour has to be brutal – fun – but exhausting. We miss you in Texas. Think about coming to College Station? My crazy friends and I would LOVE to hang out with you. We’ll bring the wine.

  438. 443
    Kimberly

    You rock! I would love an audio copy of your book :)

  439. That Ron Weaseley wig is making me laugh so freakin hard! He has bigger hair than I did in the 80’s and that is saying A LOT!!!!

    Would love to win an audio version of the book!

    karen recently posted Road Trip to Charlotte tomorrow....meeting The Bloggess!.

  440. I’m thinking the Chicago reading is going to be jam-packed, because hello SUNDAY? Not only am I buying fake followers to roadtrip with me and my imaginary friends, but I imagine 2/3 of the midwest will as well.
    So, wait, if that’s all imaginary…will that drink/hair braidy offer apply? I’ll have to get extensions if so.

  441. 446
    Peachy Girl

    Don’t need the book. I downloaded and read it on my IPhone…just wanted to say that I LOVED IT! I found out too late that you were in Atlanta, otherwise I’d have been there. I might have even had you sign my boob!

  442. I love Ron Weasel-y’s confidence wig. Could there be a Professor Snake in his future?

    P.S. See you in Boston!

    alonewithcats recently posted Jenny Lawson’s book, I AM IN YOU.

  443. 448
    Rhiannon

    Audio!!!!! Please. Thank you.

  444. 449
    Sweet Caroline

    Even if I don’t win the UK version of your book, I am going to get a copy because the description of the UK cover includes the word “whimsical”. I’m not sure why; I like it anyway. And the cover is way more like what I thought it SHOULD than the American cover. And I’m an American.

  445. St. Louis is on your way home from Chicago. Could you please pretty please stop here? My friend saw you in Atlanta and I’m so jealous.

    Otherwise I guess I’ll have to settle for the audio version of your book.

  446. 451
    the diva

    I would love the audio book, so I can be the coolest Mom at school pickup and maybe they will all want to sit in my car while we’re waiting for our kids when they see me laughing hysterically. Or maybe they will stay far, far away because they think I am insane and laughing at the maniacal voices in my head. Whatever. Either way, the audio book would still ROCK!!!

  447. Welcome back, y’all!

    I would love an audio version, I’ve got to hear the bloopers. Picked up the hard-copy last night, couldn’t put it down and now fear for my sanity.

    Carolyn recently posted Please don't Google it.

  448. I would LOVE the UK book version. I would be the coolest person I know if I held that in my hands, for even a moment.

  449. I would love any of them. The audio version might be dangerous while driving my son to daycare but since the school year is almost over and I’ll be out for the summer, I can just listen while I drive around the block a few times for Me Time.

  450. I’m going to agree with you on the hair.

    Corey Feldman recently posted General Update on Depression and Egret Series.

  451. Can I have the Canadian version?

  452. Loving the wig, do they make those in grown up sizes?? So I would like any of the above mentioned copies. I like the UK one a bunch, but I’m not picky!

    KaraB recently posted Well hello there....

  453. As I have a copy I won’t be greedy and try to get an audio book (wait… is that an oxymoron?) but I wanted to tell you that you are seriously one of the funniest people on the planet and I am a tough audience. I like Ron’s wig. He looks very Rapunzel. You need the entire cast of Harry Potter. You could do one of those stop-action movies with all your creatures.

  454. I would love an Aussie audio book to go with the hard copy I got that was totally THE BEST Mother’s day IN THE WORLD!!! <3

  455. Audio please! Your voice is kind of adorable. <3

  456. I’d love an audiobook.

  457. 462
    Brandon Michael

    Would love the Audio Version!

  458. Any chance we’ll see you up in Canada? Vancouver is a lovely city to visit this time of year…. I’ll be getting the audiobook either way, but if you wanted to send it, I wouldn’t object. :)

    Reanna recently posted Are You a Fucking Doctor?.

  459. If I won a copy of the book, I would just lend it out to all the people I love who need to laugh.

    (and thank you for all the Don’t Move To Texas advice…. cow vagina, scorpions, foxes & snakes…. makes our 10 feet of snow seem so safe)

  460. As my mother is the head Zookeeper of the Australian exhibit at the Ft. Wayne IN Children’s Zoo(I grew up with Kangaroos in the house). I would be remiss if I didn’t ask for an Aussie version.

  461. Oooh, in honor of Ron’s lovely new scarf and wig, I’ll take the UK version.

  462. 467
    Legotech

    I would love a copy of the UK version along with a bit of Ron’s wig to use as a book mark :)

  463. 468
    miggsy1812

    I would love an audiobook version!

  464. Audio version! Because every time I listen to it, I will not only hear your book, but I’ll hear Neil’s advice for you: “Pretend you’re good at it.”

    Julia Grace recently posted Diving into Competition.

  465. I really wish that you were coming to the Philadelphia area. My P.O.S. car can’t be trusted to make the trip to the nearest areas you’re going to be.

    I would love the UK version of your book.

    Jess recently posted Creatively stumped.

  466. If you can provide an audio version read by you, then audio.

    If not, UK version of the book would be awesome.

    erosan recently posted Sigue aprendiendo.

  467. Audio……. I’d love to hear the entire memoir in YOUR voice!!! So sad I can’t make it to Brookline- but I have to bring my kids to Warwick RI to celebrate the colonists burning a British ship that got stuck in the harbor at low tide…… one of the acts that led to the revolution…..AND they go in full 1770-something garb!!! Woohoo! (maybe I will not get stuck in the middle of a 5k that no one warned me about this time!)

  468. I live in NH, and I see that you will be in Brookline MA for your tour. Will you be doing a book signing? Because I have your book as an ebook :(

    Amy recently posted Leg Three!.

  469. 474
    Michelle May

    Ron Weasely’s wig looks a little “Carrot Top-y” to me.

  470. UK version, pretty pretty please! And then I can have you sign it – when you come to Massachusetts!!!!!!! So excited :)

    Katy recently posted Cock-a-doodle-doo!.

  471. I live in NH, and I see that you will be in Brookline Ma, on June 8th. Which is the closest tour to me. Will there be a book signing? I have your book as an eBook right now :(

    Amy recently posted Leg Three!.

  472. Ron Weasely = Carrot Top!

  473. 478
    Jennifer

    Audio, please. Thank you.

  474. Audio would be awesome! Hearing motherfucker with a Texas twang makes it seem more authentic somehow.

  475. Definitely audiobook. It would make my early morning drive to work much more fun.

  476. I would love the audio copy of the book! It would be great to hear you tell the stories. Although, I’d treasure any of them!

    So sad, I can’t get to any locations of your book signings. I’m so glad to see that you are thriving with the tour though. The love and support of your fans is truly inspirational. You really are an awesome person.

  477. 482
    Angelina

    Audio version for me, please! I have your book but would love to hear your little kid voice :)

  478. I would love the UK version. I absolutely LOVED your book!

  479. BTW, I would love to see Juanita in the Ron Weasely wig, with the caption, “That’s not the color I wanted!” : )

  480. I would love the audio version. I have already read the uk version cover to cover and loved it! I’ve now passed it on to a friend who couldn’t afford their own copy and think it would be even better ( if its possible) to hear it in your voice instead of the little voice in my head, plus it would totally annoy my partner!

  481. I’d love to hear the audio book!

  482. I already have the audio version and a hard copy :). So I think the Australian version would be fun! You rock!!! Wish you would come to Phoenix!

  483. Audio. I heard a sample of it on some website and it sounds so awesome…

  484. Ron is totally wearing his confidence wig in that picture! Ermionie must be trying to get him to cast spells again!

  485. You know I want them both. Just flip me a coin. Thanks.

    tokenblogger recently posted The Darling Husband….

  486. OMG Jenny – that link to your Chicago event is tretcherous! I almost died trying to find out where to come see you on the dasterdly intranets. Like it’s a secret and you really don’t want us to come stalk, I mean meet you? Hmmmm. Well I figured it out anyway, muh-ha-ha ( my evil laugh) but others might give up because it really was a needle in a haystach search. Can’t wait to laugh my ass off with you in person!

  487. I would like an audio book please. Sorry you’re not yourself today. :-(

    The red wig rocks though.

    Maggi recently posted Waiting....

  488. 493
    Rebecca R.

    I think Ron Weasely’s wig would work in an alternate-reality version of Hairy Potter (my name for the all-taxidermy version of Harry Potter).

    Were I so lucky as to win, an audiobook would be preferred.

  489. Oh! Oh! I want to hear you read the book. I tried to read some out loud for a friend, but I was laughing too hard to finish. Audiobook? Problem solved.

    unmitigated me recently posted Reality.

  490. Audio book please! After hearing just your snippet you posted of your audio book I’ve been dying to get it! Of course I was very very drunk when I heard said snippet post wine tasting festival.

    Stephanie H recently posted The Sickly Herbivore.

  491. Can you come to Minneapolis?

    And audio would be amazing!

  492. Audio please! I would also blame Ron Weasely’s wig for any problems you may have this week – it’s frightening!

    Nichole recently posted Officially Moved But Not Unpacked.

  493. I’m probably confused as to whether you mean an audio book read in an Australian accent, or a book given to an Australian. So since I’m from Australia (G’day mate, chuck a shrimp on the barbie cobber! and all that) I would LOVE a book!!! Not sure I could listen to one read in an Aussie accent though, we tend to cringe when we hear ourselves talk!

  494. 499
    Stephanie B

    I can haz Audio? I am so in love with your book and I hate so much that I wasn’t able to see you in Charlotte. My aunt who introduced me to you wasn’t able to go, due to lack of a sitter, and I couldn’t go without her. I did however listen to you on Bob & Sheri that morning. You sound like a wonderful woman and hopefully when you write the next book I can fangirl at your feet.
    Also, your Zombie theories are totally legit.

  495. I would totally dig the audiobook, and can I just say how bummed I am to not catch you when you are in Beantown?? and you’re event is on my Anniversary to boot!!

    Erica B recently posted unintentional.

  496. Being an Australian, I’d love a copy of the Astralian version of your book :-)

  497. Aussie Aussie Aussie, oi oi oi!

  498. Audio would be awesome! Also, I’m sure you are hearing this kind of thing non-stop, but I was so sad not to see Seattle on that list. I mean, yes, it rains here non-stop. I get it. But it was still sad :-(

    (I still have high hopes for Book II’s tour.)

    The Weed recently posted Birthday Recap UPDATED.

  499. I think Ron’s wig is spot on. It’s for Ron- the later years when Ron goes through a mid-life crisis and is trying to be hip and cool but Hermione won’t let him buy that new Nimbus 6,000 he wants so he grows his hair out and gets an earring.

    Also, if you’re giving out books, I’d LOVE the audio version. I was, after all, the last person standing in line for your Atlanta book signing.

  500. Aussie version mate, ta.

    x

  501. 506
    Brenda Jane Fierce

    Ear Candy Audio!! >.<

  502. I’d love to get my hands on either hardcopy version!

  503. I’d love an Australian copy of the book – does that mean that you’ve changed all the slang in the book? Are their references to Cossies?

    Deidre recently posted I'm weird....

  504. I would like the audio book please.

  505. 510
    Lacey B.

    Totally the audio version. And I highly recommend you make a british and australian version of the audio, complete with fake accents.

  506. 511
    veggiekitty

    any version would be awesome, really!

  507. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the audio version! Nothing would be better to hear your story in your voice!

  508. 513
    Genevieve

    I love his scarf and the ridiculous wig. My friend just posted a picture from a book signing she went to and I’m so green with envy it’s not even funny.

    I would love the UK version!

  509. I’m sorry that you were in San Francisco when I was not there. I want an audio version like nothing else. Does the reader have a british accent?

    Dianimal recently posted Practical Horse Quiz.

  510. Australian copy of the book please! I’m curious as to what makes it Australian, though…does it come with added flies?

  511. I hope you come back to Texas!

    Holly from 300 Pounds Down recently posted My brother: 400 Pounds to Triathlete.

  512. Australian, please. You’re my hero!!!!

  513. AUDIO. still need to bloggess-ize my hubby. also, i was thinking of sending on my hard copy to someone who cant afford their own and they can do the same. kinda like the red dress but with your book. when someone is done they can write a little note in the pages and pass it on. then after maybe 10 or so it can come back to me. not sure how that would work, cause i totally want it back after those who want to read it have. off to ponder this one.

    Heather

  514. I’d love the UK version. I’m looking to pimp you out to some people for Christmas, especially the ones who work HR and have been privy to penile pictures. I think it will help them to work through the trauma.

  515. Well the audio version would make my trek up to Mi from NC fun…I’m gonna have to say on of the books..the font on the UK version is kick ass…but who am I kidding, I would be happy with any of them.

  516. UK please. I think the scroll-y letters are beautiful. And, you’re hilarious. So you, in a pretty book… what more could I ask for?

  517. Come to SoCal. Would love to see you.

  518. Audio pretty please! I love your book :-)

    Also, I too know the pain of herniating a disc on your neck by brushing your hair, washing your face, brushing your teeth, sneezing, and just standing there.

  519. Audio for me please! I would love to hear your hilarity. Thanks!

  520. Dear Bloggess,
    I thought I was the only one! I too had pet duck(s). Though you only had one, I had 2. Their names were Cocoa and Krispy. I don’t remember them, but I blame that on classic Freudian repression. I was informed a few years ago upon stumbling upon a photo (I am now 34) that we had ducks, and “you loved them” and then “Grandma ate them.”
    PS: I want an audio copy of your book, it seems only right since reading it makes me laugh out loud and an audio version would be more enjoyable to all the people around me who think that I’m insane. Technically, their right, but they dont need to know that.

  521. Ooooh, Australian version puhlease!!
    You should also come down here and personally deliver it…I’ll try and find you a stuffed possum or something…

  522. Oh. That is a *lovely* shade of red!

    I would love any version of your book…… How about the audio? Does it come in 8-track?

    xo

    Daffodil Campbell recently posted My kid just asked me if "teabagging" was a real thing..

  523. Audio, please!

  524. Would LOVE an audiobook…but if I don’t win one I will most likely buy one. Hearing you read aloud in Annapolis made the book even funnier than when I read it.

  525. UK version would be great…wouldn’t even seem foreign here in Canada. :)

  526. Audio! Hope to see you in jersey!

  527. I’d love the Aussie version!
    If only your tour were coming here! I can think of a bunch of cane toad paraphernalia you could add to your taxidermy collection!
    Stuffed toads holding bottle of liquor anyone? http://www.flickr.com/photos/87791108@N00/2170444145/
    They’re classy toads though, see their little canes?
    There’s always kangaroo scrotum coin pouches too…

  528. I really want the UK version (my Dad’s a Liverpudlian) -since I bought not 1 but 2 books on Amazon -before it was even on sale, y’all!!!! But I’d take the Aussie too (my Dad’s uncle immigrated there about a century ago). And to hear your voice in my delicate ears would totally f@cking rock too, so Audio would be awesome too. whatever you want to send. or deliver, when you add Savannah, GA “the Hostess City of the South” to your book tour. We really do read here! And I’ll take you out to lunch at what we affectionately call “Taxidermy Barbeque” because in the rural county directly west of Savannah, where we used to live, there really, honest to f@cking God and St. Agatha too, is a barbeque restaurant that’s decorated in taxidermy. So you feel closer to your food, kind of like a farmer’s market, only with road kill hanging on the wall above your booth. Seriously, my treat if you come to town. Love the book, made me feel sane for the first time every in my life!

  529. I have my tickets for the Chicago appearance, and listed “Unicorn Success Club” as my Organization

  530. Surprise me. And I still can’t believe you aren’t coming to Salt Lake City….surely there is an underground market here for “alternative” bloggers (that’s what we call folks with potty mouths…or those who live in Texas).

    Lala recently posted The Candy Man.

  531. I always love it when people say they aren’t themselves. I always wonder what it would be like to not be myself and that would be cool in a way but kind of scary. Hope you are back to yourself soon! Or if not maybe you can be someone really cool like Hermione! I’d love to be her just once. She is bad ass. :)

    I’d love to have your audio book. I want to hear you tell your story. I am in love with your book and was in the airport the other day reading it. The lady next to me needed to know why I was having seizures while reading this book. I showed her the cover and she knew of this book! I was shocked because she was about 70 years old. I had no idea you had the following of the older generations too! I’m impressed and a little sad to think that maybe I’m not as hip as I thought I was. :) Or maybe this little older lady was just too hip for her generation. :) Anyways. I was reading about you being attacked by a bear and I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably while reading. And then it just kept going and I couldn’t stop. Good thing my plane was delayed for an hour so I could get some more reading in!

    LeAnnWoo recently posted Insanity - Week 3 DONE!.

  532. I suspect that wig perfectly represents what the hair of Ron and Hermione’s children would look like.

  533. I definitely want to get the audio version. And I’ve put the Brookline date on my OFFICIAL WORK CALENDAR.

    Susan Foster recently posted What's going on.

  534. 539
    Christa Irell

    Jenny- you need to come to DENVER!!!!!! I would love to win ANY of the copies you are giving away- you are so generous! As well as wonderfully witty and awesome- I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your book, even though it made my hubby slightly crazy with me as I snorted, guffawed, giggled, and downright laughed till I cried while reading it! XO

  535. I’d love a copy of the audio book. I wanted to buy it from Audible, but they said I couldn’t, because I’m in Australia, which makes absolutly no sense to me. They even contacted your publishers, who replied something like “We don’t care about people in Australia, they are not worthy”. (I paraphrased that) You don’t have to give me a copy of the audio book – but pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese make it legal for me to buy it here.

    Sharon recently posted Nothing Turbulant about these.

  536. 541
    Heather M

    oi, guv’nah, the UK version would be crackin’!

  537. Wow! I was bummed I didn’t get to make to into NY to see you, and now you’re coming to my local bookstore, a 3 minute walk from home. Life is good.
    Quick primer for your visit- Montclair is in no way related to the Jersey Shore. Do not expect fist pumping or orange people. Montclair is very liberal, very diverse, often very quirky. Along those lines, it is home to Yogi Berra, Stephen Colbert, and the Russian spies who were arrested last year. Also, Dr. Leo Sternbach, who invented the precursor for valium, was born here. Whoo.

  538. Aw, skip Chicago and come to St. Louis!

    (Also, I’d take anything you were willing to give!)

    a recently posted First Captcha, now Wordpress.

  539. 544
    Nadine Mathews

    I just (Saturday) had my second baby and no longer have time for an actual physical book., so I would love an audio copy that I could listen to on the run! I am sooo excited that you scheduled a stop in MA!!

  540. 545
    CassidyAthena

    I can’t believe you will be at the town next door, Montclair, and I won’t be able to attend because I already own the book (I preordered, and can’t really afford to get a second one right now, been unemployed for 3 years)! And they called you “Miss” Lawson — it’s like they don’t even know you!

  541. 546
    Lisa-Marie

    I am so in love.. thanks for the smile, I needed one so bad after the worst day ever.. I just want to go throw up and then hide…. and maybe repeat..

    Audio pretty pretty please…

  542. ZOMG CHICAGO CHICAGO!!

    Hot damn that is the day after my husband graduates grad school and thank GOD because I’d hate to be all “I’m busy that day, honey, sorry”.

    I will seeeeeeeee you! With eyeballs!!

    Very excited! Would love a book but will be happy just to hug you with my eyes.

    K

  543. 548
    Minnesota Red

    Wow, Ron’s wig is my very own hair color. Lucky weasel!
    UK paperback please!

  544. I’m in Australia, I love your blog and the first chicken I ever owned was called Beyonce. No joke. And that was well before your Beyonce came along.

    I had two chooks called Beyonce and Bjork, I got them as tiny chicks. Beyonce had bootie, thus the name. They were incredibly affectionate but sadly after a week in Bali I came home to find they had started crowing. I was devastated. They also started to get very possessive, to the point where Beyonce attacked my Ugg Boot as she was clearly jealous of the affection and warmth it gave my toes.

    After a labourious search, and several complaints from my neighbours, I found the two pop stars a new home at a free range farm where they could find groupies and live happily ever after.

    Of course, because you then named a chicken Beyonce, it’s like we’re sisters. So I would like the book please ;-)

  545. I would love an audio book!

  546. Audio, please!

  547. audio please! :)

  548. I would love a copy of the UK version of ‘Let’s Pretend This Never Happened’, please! In theory, there is a copyright library (to which I have access!) in my town, but, like many theories, this one is but a lie (though I do indeed have access to the library that is theoretically a copyright library. Sadly this does not make the absence of a copy of ‘Let’s Pretend This Never Happened’ in my town any easier to handle).

  549. AUDIO! Because I have your book and read it and laughed so hard my husband was afraid I’d ruptured something and I would love to hear your voice and emphases…emphasises…whatever as you read your hilarious wonderful book!

  550. I have the nook version – would love the audio book!

    Natalie @natalie419 recently posted Toto.

  551. haha I love it!!!

    Jes recently posted Kids Say....

  552. Ooh ooh ooh love audio books (and Ron’s scarf) I listen while I melt glass with a torch (and try not to burn myself when laughing!)

  553. i would be thrilled with anything you sent my way. but most especially the aussie version.

  554. I would love the audio version….another too hip for her generation older lady!

  555. Darn!! I’m going to Chicago on the 15th!!!!! I’m going to miss you by 5 days!!!

  556. I’d love an audiobook!!
    I have the hardcopy, and just about died laughing, but I have a feeling it’ll be even better to hear the crazy stories in your voice!

  557. 562
    Rachel H

    I would KILL for an Aussie version. Well, not you. I wouldn’t kill you. This seems like a poor choice of words. Let’s start over. Ahem….

    I would LOVE an Aussie version! Being on the very farthest side of the world makes me miss America sometimes. Thank goodness for the interwebs.

  558. CHICAGO! Oh I’m so glad you’re coming here! I’ve already got a copy of the book, and I’ve already laughed myself into an asthma fit and nearly peed myself, but an audio would be pretty awesome.
    About the wig though- leave it alone and just say it’s in homage to the fluffy hair in the fourth movie when all the kids looked like the Beatles.

    Giuseppi Giraffe recently posted Something I will never want, and also something I want.

  559. Heard you speak in Gaithersburg, MD. Would love to hear you again and again on audio. Though it is easy to read in your voice now that I have had the opportunity to hear you at length, besides odd bits on youtube! It was a treat to have you in our neck of the woods!

  560. 565
    Kristin D

    Jenny, You are my savior! I read your blog relentlessly, and whilst reading I always vow to create my own blog in hopes of slightly resembling your amazingness. But then, I realize I can never compare because you are so freaking hilarious! I would absolutely love a copy of your audiobook so I can listen to your hilariousness while driving to work! Also, can you please come to Pennsylvania on another leg of your tour?!

    I love that you are so open about your struggles with depression, and reading your posts helps me cope with my daily struggles with depression and anxiety.

  561. I would really, really love an audio book! I am a teacher and I drive an hour each way to and from the school, and I am poor as sin, so it would be phenomenal! I would even mail it to someone else when I am done with it!

  562. Audio!

    Ginger wigs are awesome.

  563. 568
    Denise Rivers

    I would love the UK version! I am the friend Katie Granju got your autograph for!!! My friend Philip plotzed.

  564. Audiobook! for my long long commutess….

  565. the uk version please – that font is crazy! :)

  566. I’d gladly take the Australian or the UK version! I really wish your tour would bring you to San Diego.

    Linz recently posted Double Dragon, I can’t quit you….

  567. I’d like an audio version of you reading with an Australian accent, or British, I’m not picky. Please tell me this is a four legged tour that includes Minneapolis?!?

  568. It’s Rasta Ron Weasely, mon!

  569. Yikes!…yikes yikes! Ron Weasely is looking like the illegitimate wizard rodent offspring of carrot top :-o A hair cut is definitely in order there!

    PS I’m still waiting for Seattle!

    Canoncowgirl recently posted Turtle Burgers = Night Terrors.

  570. I would love the audio version :) Thanks!

  571. Oh and I’d love the audio version of your book!!

    Canoncowgirl recently posted Turtle Burgers = Night Terrors.

  572. Just got my Chicago tickets!! Can’t wait. UK book!!

  573. Audio! I have read the book twice already but after your reading in Atlanta (hilarious!) I would love to have you read me the whole book. :-)

  574. The audio book! I would love to have seen you when you were out in Cali but I was out of town. :( Maybe for your next book!

  575. I’m so glad you are coming to Chicago! Lit Fest is fantastic anf you will make it the best!

  576. 581
    purplepenguin

    Oh no!!!!! You are coming close in NJ, but I will be away!!!!! How about coming to PA? There are lots of people who love you here. You could do Pittsburgh, lots of college students there. How about a smaller space, like the Lehigh Valley? There’s the new Arts Quest Space in Bethlehem, you would love it. An we have Peeps! Please????????????????

  577. UK. Please, please, please, please, please, pleaeaaaasssseeeeeee!

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

    Pick me?

  578. will you come to portland?? the one in oregon, that is.

  579. I just finished reading your book, and I would love the audio version.

  580. Id love a copy of the audiobook!

  581. you’re coming to brookline! so happy :-)

  582. Wow, Ron’s hair is… impressive. Epic even.

    I’ll take your audio book if you have an extra handy, if not I’ll just fangirl you when I see you in Brookline. I’ve already figured out what I want you to sign. I’m very excited.

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted I guess we’re continuing with the theme.

  583. 588
    Barbara Snow

    Minneapolis is only one stop over from Chicago. C’mon up north, girl – we’ll show up in droves.
    Fondly,
    Barb in Minnesota

  584. 589
    Caitlyn D

    Audio pleeeeease!!!! :D

  585. I want a UK audiobook because I loved the book and soooo want to hear it read by you… and because I’m going to be visiting Texas next year and want to ask if you’d sign it. :)

  586. UK please!

  587. Audio! Especially since I can’t go to anything on your tour (I live in Ohio. You don’t want to come here. Really. I won’t even beg you. That wouldn’t be nice).

  588. AUDIOBOOK! My mother and I are about to take a roadtrip for her sister’s funeral and it’s the only way I can imagine getting through it.

    Midianite Manna recently posted I did it, you stupid m----r f-----r!.

  589. 594
    Tracy B.

    Audio book please!! Also, if you haven’t seen the awesomeness of the taxidermy stuff on this blog I have a feeling you might love some of the stuff!! http://www.reidpeppard.blogspot.com/

  590. Oh, Jenny, you almost always make me laugh. Unless you’re trying to be serious, then you don’t. But you’re awesome either way. The wig and scarf look great. And I’m so happy you have a third leg. When are you coming to Cincinnati?!?

    Julie Nemitz recently posted My poor butt and IHSW.

  591. All I can say is WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO Montclair!!! I’m going to appropriately try like crazy to be there!!!!!!

  592. I love Ron Weasely’s wig, however I feel I should point out that it kind of looks exactly like Ermione Grangers hair too (except ginger). What that means is that at present they could share the wig depending on who felt most follicularly challenged on a given day, if Ermione could tolerate being a red head and Ron could tolerate such a lustrous wealth. But for authenticity, and to stop Ermione from being jealous, it might need a trim!
    If you aren’t yourself, who are you? PLEASE say Professor McGonagall!!! :D

    UK version if its me.

  593. 598
    Anonymous

    I’d love to hear you read your work! I’m planning my first day of vacation around reading my copy.

  594. LOL That wig. I want the UK Version please!!! It’s so fancy.

  595. 600
    Miss Kitti

    Feel like you soon. And good luck w the last leg. Audiobook please.

  596. Wow! i would LOVE the Australian audio book! i only recently discovered your blog and its freakin hilarious, i cant wait to hear/read the book! I’d have to listen to it at home though; lately ive been reading your blog while on the bus, and people keep shooting me odd looks when i randomly start laughing at pictures of taxidermied animals…

  597. Though I’m not technically in Australia, I’d love the Aussie version even though I’m a die-hard New Zealander.
    We tend to get forgotten about, being such a small country. We get missed off maps, hardly ever get our own versions of things and 99% of the planet either doesn’t know our country exists or things we are Australia’s other island… so, so, so, so wrong!
    It’s no wonder I shout and cheer out loud every time we are finally mentioned in passing in a movie, tv programme or book produced outside our country.

    Paula Lynne recently posted Circle Journal - 2012 Part 3.

  598. 603
    Mary Ellen

    Audio, please. You do know that you could be that sexy librarian in that eye glass commercial, right?

  599. I’m an Aussie but would love the UK version.

    Oh watch out we’ve got a badass over here.

    Congrats again on all your hard earned success.

    beccaann recently posted Movie Inspired Outfit – 500 Days of Summer.

  600. Tour in Portland. I will buy you a maple bacon donut. You can’t resist that.

  601. Audio! I am super bummed that I won’t be able to make it to the Brookline, MA reading. I have plans with a long-lost friend that evening. :(

  602. You really need to bring the book tour to Tucson, AZ. I know it’s hot here, but you can totally use my pool. Also, I make a mean wine slushy…and I hardly ever clean deer in the house anymore, honest.

  603. I would love any of them! You are AMAZING!

  604. 609
    Karen Song

    I just need you to know how much I love reading your blog. I am living in Thailand and had my books taken from me in China due to crazy fees for the luggage that I wasn’t willing to pay. I would LOVE an audio book from you, as you rock! Either version would be fine.

  605. You’re coming to chicago??! YayYAYyay!! I’m totally putting on my hawt bra then! (For the giveaway, I’m totally gunning for the UK printing, for extra fanciness. Honestly, though, I just really wanted to voice my enthusiasm over you making it to Illinois)

    Oh heck yes, peoples- this party is ON!m

  606. Booksmith in Brookline! Yes!!! I’ll be there!!!!!

  607. Australian! or Audio! Please! Thankyou!!!

  608. Is the audio the UK or Australian Audio, and if so do you use an accent? B/c the only thing that would make your book better is possibly a british accent. or cake.

    Renee recently posted transcription attempt.

  609. 614
    Betty Boop

    I still want you to come to Minnesota and to give me an audio copy!!! It will be even better hearing the book in your voice.

  610. I would absolutely love an audio version! I just put an rss reader on new phone and have loved catching up with you. For old time’s sake I looked up the original Beyonce chicken story, and laughed until I cried. And my husband thought I was nutso. I had a rough day. And Beyonce made it better. Oh, and what are the chances you’ll be on Ohio?

  611. I’d love a copy of the Australian version, as my taxidermied lookouts have not yet reported it’s arrival into my local bookstore.

  612. I’d LOVE to get the audio version. And I love Ron Weasely’s new accessories!

    Brenna recently posted A talent nobody really wants.

  613. Would love an Audio version to go with the written one I have…

  614. You will be in Jersey soon… Preparations must be made!!

    ALERT THE CARNIES AND START THE BONFIRES! SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    Valerie recently posted Harry Potter Land is my Jerusalem.

  615. Audiobookplease! Dying to hear the extras- I hear they are. Hilarious!

  616. AUDIO, please!

    And Ron Weasley’s flowing ginger locks are super sexy… and a little ridiculous.

    JRose recently posted New News is Good News.

  617. I don’t want anything from you, my life is already plenty weird enough. I just want to know if your book tour is coming back through the south anytime ever? I only recently found your blog, and I AM IN LOVE. In a non-creepy way, of course. Yeah, definately non-creepy.

  618. 623
    Gretchen

    Audio, read in an Australian accent with British thrown in at random, unexpected moments…

  619. UK version. Love that accent. Plus they have Guy Fawkes day and you never know when you might need an emergency Guy Fawkes present.

    Eileen recently posted Random Research Monday.

  620. I’d like the audio version, please. And I expect to win one of them because I’m pretty awesome and deserve it. And I’d love to sit at the neighborhood pool listening to your book on speaker so I can get strange looks from my neighbors. It’d be worth it! Pick me, pick me :)

  621. Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!

    Sheri Bomb recently posted A Stitch In Time: Retro Repro!.

  622. Audio, and you are hilarious even on your off days!

  623. 628
    K Robertson

    Would LOVE an audio or a UK version – I am not picky, although the UK version would go well with my UK versions of Harry Potter, no? I missed you in Atlanta, coaching got in the way (I coach swimming), but have wanted your book for ages. Please??

  624. Ron’s too sexy for his red wig….
    Audio, please

  625. Audio audio audio oh please please let me have the audio! I’ll trade a wonderful passive aggressive story for it! The laugh so hard you pee you pants kind of story….at least that is what my friend said but then again she’s had four munchkins and things aren’t quite in place the way they were….but please choose me!

  626. Audio sweetie! Love to hear you read your own words!!

  627. Ron’s too sexy for his red wig…

    Audio, please !

  628. 633
    Joanne C

    I wish we could see you in Seattle!

    I’d love the audio version, please. :)

  629. I would SO love an audio copy of your book (already bought the e-book.) Unfortunately, I spend a large amount of time commuting in the car (and for some reason, people frown at you from their vehicles if they see you balancing an iPad on your steering wheel and trying to read whilst hurtling down the highway) so an audiobook would help me enjoy my Bloggess fix safely. (As long as I don’t double over, attempting to laugh up a kidney.)

    You didn’t happen to read the audiobook in a British accent, did you? Because that could be even funnier. AND more awesome.

  630. I would love the UK version.
    You should come to Seattle. They’d love you here!

  631. I’d love the UK version!

  632. 637
    ReneeReader

    Audiobook, pretty please.
    You were fab at the Gaithersburg book festival near DC. The merriment at your pavilion could be heard several tents away! Well done with the crowds.

  633. 638
    Christie

    i’m sorry you’re out of sorts today.
    really, really.

    i would love the uk version, or an audio version of you reading your awesomesauce book in a fake english accent.

  634. Ron’s wig looks like it belongs on Ermine. A trim is definitely in order.

    Audio book!

  635. 640
    Mark Fryerparts

    Audio version for me… although truthfully, I would not be picky. Mostly, I just want to hear you describe the pictures in the book (since y’know, they can’t be seen in the audio version). Because I never would’ve believe dthe Jams-wearing raccoon without proof.

  636. Our library system has multiple copies of your book available! Not so many that people won’t need to actually buy a copy, though, but I thought it was exciting that you’ll be in the library. When I look at the catalog listing, there is a link to Goodreads.com, and apparently over 900 people have rated your book and give it an average of 4.5 out of 5 stars. That’s awesome. Congrats on a job well done.

  637. I’m the 597th comment – like what chance do I have of winning the UK version? Like slim, right? But it’s worth a try. It’s that or win the lottery to get to the States and hear you on tour.

    scriptorsenex recently posted Meandering around on a Wednesday.

  638. 643
    g33kling

    Anything read by you would be awesome.

  639. 644
    Cheryll Fochtmann

    Please oh please oh please talented one…I would love to have an audio copy of your book. I have a wonderful hardback copy but dream, yes dream of having you read it to me.

  640. Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oy Oy Oy!
    :D

    Brigón recently posted Hello world!.

  641. 646
    reba lynn

    I still can’t get on board with the whole dead animal thing. UK Coming to Cleveland, OH?

  642. 647
    Natalie K.

    Audio! Spending too much time in the car.

  643. UK! I’m digging Ron’s hair…definitely how I pictured it.

  644. Yes, I wish you would come to Seattle also! :) I’d take the Australian version. So, it will be read in an Australian accent, right?

    Marisa @ Where's the party? recently posted Strawberries? Yes, please!.

  645. Doh! “Sold Out” for Chicago. I’m driving 1200 miles just to see you. (Okay, I lied, I’m visiting my aged parents but I’d stop by to say hi.) Anyway, are you going to do any signing, book signing that is and not American Sign Language signing, but that’s cool, too?

  646. 651
    JCfromNC

    I would love, love, love to have the audio version of your book. Reading it while trying to imagine your voice just isn’t the same. :)

  647. That wig is amazingly crazy.

    And the audio, definitely the audio!!

  648. Audio please. And thank you.

  649. I would love to get the UK or Australian copy of your book! I just picked your book up from the library today and am eager to start it! I was on the wait list waaaaay too long. And I know I’m going to want to have my own copy to read when ever I want C=

  650. Audio all the way! Thanks for the giveaway and all my best on your continued tour and book success! :)

  651. audio!

  652. An Australian addition would be nice – that way I can pass it on to family and friends. I’ve got my copy already on the kindle! I heard someone on TV here in little old Tassie talking about her lady garden (she is an advertising person) and I laughed so hard. Wonder where she got it from ;) – Love the hysterical (historical?) wig!

    Susan Hogan recently posted Am I ambidextrous?.

  653. Please please please [shameless begging] I would love a copy of your book!!! I’d rather have one I can hold in my hands than an audio book, though. I’m old-fashioned that way…

    Deanna recently posted Snowy Goats.

  654. I’ve been anxiously waiting an appearance in my area! What I did NOT anticipate was that Watchung Booksellers would be charging “admission” in the form of the purchase of your book- which most fans (including myself) have already acquired. Worse, they’ll only offer autographs to books that were sold by Watchung Booksellers? How about first come, first served or some other vaguely fair system?

    You have a lot of fans that weren’t waiting for your appearance to purchase and read your debut. Shame on Watchung Booksellers for trying to take advantage and for being so unabashedly tacky. You are fantastic, but I will unfortunately have to miss you. Note to self: don’t patronize the grubby, grub-fest that is Watchung Booksellers.

    Abby Bean recently posted Does Starbucks Hate Vegans?.

  655. Things should have an even number of legs… 2, 4, 6, 8.

    3….Three is just tragic. Reminds me of my friend’s dog that lost a back leg to a raccoon (it was a really small dog). His name was Rexy. After the ‘incident’, everyone just called him tripod. Isnt that awful?! He did “ok” with only 3 legs; he hopped instead of walked, and he was still cute…. In my opinion though, a prosthetic leg would have made his life way easier, and let’s be honest here, a total badass! It sucks to have to hop EVERYWHERE. I mean seriously, try that for five minutes and you’ll be all “wow, this is way more aerobic than necessary and I … Screw this, I need a drink” See???

    Rexy was really missing that fourth leg, sure he got by and all, but that fourth leg was where he carried his mojo, his awesome, his swagger. His real leg was ripped out of his hip socket, but a fake one would have turned that story from sad to glad my friend. Your book tour is not dissimilar… It NEEDS to have four legs. And your missing leg is here in Canada. We are your book tour’s badass prosthetic. You need to come strap that bitch on.

  656. I love you, Jenny Lawson. That is all.

  657. So close to Minneapolis! I suppose that’s the same reason I should go to Chicago. But really, today was a great day, I quit my job and to celebrate bought your book. Burned dinner because I was laughing. Kids and husband asked “are you reading about that lady again?” if I had the audio book, I’d be able to feed my family. Seriously, I never burn dinner.

  658. uk version please! and also, please come back to san antonio. i just moved here, and was so sad that i missed your san antonio date by weeks! also, i found james garfield’s brother winston pinkerton III in a coffee shop in colorado. the pictures were…misplaced…in my move. but you will have them as soon as i find them again!

  659. Audio, pretty please with sugar and mushroom boobies on top!

  660. Oh, I’d LOVE to hear your stories done with an aussie accent!

  661. Audio! And I so wish you were making it out to the west coast!

  662. 667
    Donna in Austin

    No need to be witty. I imagine you are exhausted from your tour. If you have a spare book in any form I would love it. Thanks

  663. UK version, please!

  664. I would be thrilled with the audio verson!

  665. Oh please don’t trim the wig. It makes me laugh almost as hard as Juanita. Almost. :) Audio. And I will see you in Boston! YAY!

  666. ANY OF THEM! I want ANY version of your book I can possibly get! I would accept a free BRAILLE version and I have NO IDEA how to read braille! But I would learn if it meant I could have your book for free!

  667. P.S. Your pictures of Ron Weasely and Ermine Granger make me so happy! When are you getting a Harry Otter?

  668. Audio!

  669. Audio book! Also, that wig HAD to be that big so that it could hold all of the awesome that belongs to it.

  670. Would love the audio version! Because I know there are swear words in it and my kids need to learn some new words, or at least learn that other people swear too!
    You are awesome!

  671. Also nothing witty here. Audio, please.

    Also, Leg Four, Las Vegas? Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase.

  672. Would love the Aus version as we are down under. Thanks for he laughs and sharing your world!

  673. UK version please. Love the book!

  674. Somebody prolly already told you that with that wig Ron Weasely looks more like Ginny Weasely, but if they didn’t – you’re welcome.

    Also I noticed you are STILL not coming anywhere near Utah. *SIGH*

  675. O.M.G. I totally knew it was you! You bought MY bug cemetary!
    I had been lusting after it for weeks and was trying to describe it to my friend Sheryl. And she said, “the bloggess must have made it” and I’m all “who is the bloggess?” and she says “you know, Juanita weasel!” and I’m all “huh?”. So she shows me your blog on Juanita, but THEN I read your blog on Copernicus and it was all I could think about or talk about for days. So I told everyone, “I am totally in love with this woman, because can you even imagine what it’s like in her head.” which made me start thinking that I really could stand for it to be more exciting in my head. So, I determined that I would treat myself to the bug cemetary I had been lusting after for months. But time passes and I hadn’t gotten back to Pasadena for awhile. THEN, my friend Sheryl calls me one day and said “the bloggess is writing about your bug dioramas, you have to go get the cemetary!” so I called the shop right then and I said ” I know there is going to be a run on bug dioramas so pleeeease hold the cemetary for me,” and she told me it had just been sold…..
    I was devastated, and I KNEW it was you. I KNEW it was you! But, then we thought, well, wouldn’t she have put up a picture of it? But my friend Sheryl, who is really the absolute best friend a person could have said she would help me make my own bug cemetary. So we started looking for what one might need to do so. And finally decided that what we would make would be so much better–a bug circus! So this weekend we went to a bug fair with Irina (I put my Copernicus poster in her office since mine is a little too public) and learned that you don’t really need appendage relaxing fluid, you can relax bugs quite easily with routine household chemicals and water (I figured you’d want to know that) and we got bugs and beetles and dragon flies for the circus. It may take a while, but it will be way cooler than your silly graveyard! And the ring master’s tails and top hat will be way cooler than the widow caterpillar’s little black veil and you will be so jealous!
    But I really can’t begrudge you the cemetary too much, because in a way, the cemetary is really what introduced you to me ( in a very indirect manner) so enjoy! And now I’ll have my own circus anyway!
    But I do think I at least deserve an Australian audio tape since you did totally rip off my bug cemetary after all!

  676. Oh, and I’ll take any version you are willing to give me, but would really appreciate the audio version. Please?

  677. When will the European leg of the book tour be?

  678. I’m reading your book now, and I never want it to end.

    (I would pick the UK version!)

  679. Have a good time on the last leg of your tour! Enjoy!

    Cheryl D. recently posted Atrocity!.

  680. Soooo, is your daughter in therapy yet? She is going to have awesome stories to tell when she is older.

  681. I thought this post was called “Leg Tree!” but it’s still SUPER funny as-is. Are the UK and AU versions the same as ENG, just with things like “theatre” and “straight away” ? If so, sign me up for one of those. Or the audio one. I’m not picky.

    Melisa Lunt recently posted once upon a time our neighbors liked us. then we got a rooster. and now they don’t. the end..

  682. UK version – because I like the front cover font waaaaaaaaay better than the US (aka boring) version.

  683. COME TO CANADA!! I have your book on hold at the library and there are hundreds of people ahead of me – Canadians love you! I’d love the UK version, what with our common usage of “u” in those special words like “colourful” and “favourite” and “well-hung”… No, wait… ;)

  684. audio

    And I hope you’ll return to LA – I missed it! : (

  685. Would love a copy of the Aussie version. Don’t suppose you’d come over and do a supporting tour? ;)

  686. Any version would be lovely :)

  687. Australian! Because I am! :-)

  688. I’d still love the audio version because nobody else ever talks to me. For realz! I only communicate with peeps online, the only person who EVER really *speaks* to me is my husband and you do don’t want that to be anyone’s fate. At least not if you know my husband or aren’t a sadist.

  689. Love your blog!
    Love your book!
    So any version of the audiobook would be great, but would prefer UK-version if it ever came to that. :-)

  690. Please please please I would love love love an AUSSIE one! Seriously, your blog posts make me laugh out loud so much that I can read them during my staff meetings anymore…it has made for many an AWKWARD moment.

  691. UK version – I can’t wait to hear the bathroom-rape story in a posh British accent. (Did you record the three audio books in accents yourself? Because that would make them even better!)
    (If you didn’t, you should really think about doing it!)

  692. audio, please! <3 <3 <3

  693. Audio!!!

    Jodi recently posted TIPA Awards 2012.

  694. UK Audio Oh Lovely person you.

    Then I can play it at my house when I’m in work so the out of work abandoned imaginary friends can be entertained.

    You know what happens if they are left to entertain themselves, yup, lost legs!!!

    GreatGothNinja recently posted World Goth Day 2012.

  695. UK! UK! I deserve a book because I want to come see you and give you creepy cupcakes with rabbit’s feet and try to hug you before you escape to the bathroom and tweet everyone about the weird creeper who just tried to grab you, but I can’t because I live in Europe and you have selfishly neglected to expand your tour over here.

    We have bathrooms too, you know! And I’d even lend you a security wig. (You’d have the choice between the electric blue shaggy high ponytail one, the platinum blonde “down to my ass” one, or the boring black shoulder-length do. The purple bob is all mine.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s