I just spent an hour keeping my feet very still as I typed at my desk because my cat was sleeping on my foot, but then I started to get a foot cramp and so I slowly slid my foot out while saying “It’s okay. Don’t move. I just need to wiggle my toes.” Then I backed out my chair to see under my desk properly so I could slide my foot under my cat again and that’s when I realized that I’d mistaken my cat for a jacket. So basically I’d just spent an hour being very quiet and still and then I comforted MY JACKET as I removed my foot from it. The cat was laying right next to it. Watching all of this occur. Now I feel stupid for embarrassing myself in front of the cat who now thinks that I think my jacket is alive.
This is my whole life.
In unrelated news, it’s like 2 weeks too late for my weekly wrap-up and I don’t even know what year it is anymore.
What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- HAPPY EVERYTHING. (Perfect for any holiday, birthday, funeral regular day that you forgot was special.)
What you missed on the internets:
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is sponsored by the fabulous Jethro Collins, author of It Takes A Village To Kill Your Husband, a campy tale featuring a delightfully psychotic HGTV hostess who decides to do away with her cheating bastard husband which incorporates new uses for designer shoes, vaginas that smell like magical Chick-Fil-A waffle fries, sexy carpenters and lots of other inappropriateness. Minivans. Murder. Pancakes. The usual.