This is my whole life

I just spent an hour keeping my feet very still as I typed at my desk because my cat was sleeping on my foot, but then I started to get a foot cramp and so I slowly slid my foot out while saying “It’s okay.  Don’t move.  I just need to wiggle my toes.”  Then I backed out my chair to see under my desk properly so I could slide my foot under my cat again and that’s when I realized that I’d mistaken my cat for a jacket.  So basically I’d just spent an hour being very quiet and still and then I comforted MY JACKET as I removed my foot from it.  The cat was laying right next to it.  Watching all of this occur.  Now I feel stupid for embarrassing myself in front of the cat who now thinks that I think my jacket is alive.

This is my whole life.


In unrelated news, it’s like 2 weeks too late for my weekly wrap-up and I don’t even know what year it is anymore.

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

  • HAPPY EVERYTHING.  (Perfect for any holiday, birthday, funeral regular day that you forgot was special.)

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is sponsored by the fabulous Jethro Collins, author of It Takes A Village To Kill Your Husband, a campy tale featuring delightfully psychotic HGTV hostess who decides to do away with her cheating bastard husband which incorporates new uses for designer shoes, vaginas that smell like magical Chick-Fil-A waffle fries, sexy carpenters and lots of other inappropriateness. Minivans. Murder. Pancakes.  The usual.

154 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Oh, that is definitely something I would do mainly because my cats tend to attack when I disturb them.

    Kattie recently posted Changes.

  2. I frequently run into furniture and then apologize to it. My mom says it’s because I’m a nice person… But I think it’s a sign of a deeper issue… As in: I’m pretty convinced that dresser moved 3 inches into the room on its own and is possibly animate.

  3. I often spend time trying to lure my fluffy black boots to come and sit with me thinking they’re my cats!

  4. I am going to come out of my particular closet and tell you that I too have comforted my jacket, but for totally different reasons. And I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve embarrassed myself in front of the cat.

    Sara recently posted My Prayer for You.

  5. You know all I can think? That if you were Mohammed who cut off his sleeve not to disturb his cat, you would cut off your jacket’s sleeve not to disturb your jacket.

    I’m not at all surprised that you’re the sort of person who doesn’t disturb their cat. Or, er, jacket.
    It’s a nice thing to do. Although neither of them will probably appreciate the that effort much. ;)

    Em recently posted The Light in the Dark Night.

  6. I love how considerate you are of your Furry Creatures :) [and your jacket! – I am sure there is a spot in Fashion Heaven for you one day]


    Pax recently posted Pax and pinking the Marines.

  7. I would have been perfectly still if I thought the cat was on my feet too. Nice warm feet and my ankles are safer if he’s not irritated.

    My Half Assed Life recently posted If You Have A Vagina, You Probably Make Me Nervous.

  8. OMG. So early to be awake and doing things. If you manages to type that out at 6:30 on a Sunday morning then you are otherworldly.
    Ps-jackets need love too. You did the right thing.

    Heather recently posted GET YOUR OWN !@#! BANKIE!!!!!.

  9. 9
    Pat C in Washington

    Well, now I need to buy It Takes a Village to Kill Your Husband, if only to test my theory that it’s a modernization of Murder on the Orient Express, except with the Olsen Twins and a wheelbarrow.

  10. Oliver Sacks’ next book: The Women Who Mistook Her Jacket for a Cat. I would totally read.

    love you!

    Lady Chardonnay recently posted Movement!.

  11. I’ve done that. Only it was a slipper and my brother in law’s foot was still in it. Then I made a complete fool of myself trying to explain it. This is why hubby’s most regular saying to me is: “Things are never as bad as when you start explaining things”

    Love the mysterious tiny rooms. :)

    Cara(Eli) recently posted End of weekend ramble.

  12. I could never get away with this, my cat starts “bitching” the second I move if she’s sleeping on or near me. Currently, she’s griping in her sleeping because my arm is brushing her shoulder as I type this. I’ve long since given up on trying to comfort her when I need to move, I just do it as quickly as possible. Usually it means she ends up getting disgruntle and leaving until I get settled again, then Her Highness returns and settles on me as well.
    We’ve had over 10 years together to work out a system that works for us :)

    Rea recently posted ...he's listening and paying attention to the important things I say too!.

  13. Is it reassuring that I did not find this odd behavior at all?

    Sandy recently posted Comment on Krispy Kremes My Way by Sandy.

  14. Jackets have feelings, too, you know. You can’t just be throwing them around willy-nilly. So, even if you only did it because you thought it was your cat, you made the right call! ;)

    thedoseofreality recently posted Friday Feasts: The Lunch Project and Also… Thank Goodness January Is Almost Over.

  15. Oh that is so hilarious. I wonder how long it will take the cat to realize the jacket isn’t alive, after all.

    Punky Coletta recently posted Keurig Review by a Mega Coffee Snob.

  16. I totally relate to this. I’ve sat on the sofa with a cat on my lap and had to go to the bathroom so badly that I’ve nearly peed my pants. Finally, when you gotta go…sorry, kitty!

  17. That’s nothing. I once spent an hour petting my slipper! ;)

    Kelly recently posted Recipe Review: Summer Vegetable Crepes.

  18. I’ve done that with Tiny while she’s teething. We will fall asleep on the couch and then I need to move… I slide out from under her as slowly as possible usually falling on the floor….I haven’t mistaken her for a jacket….yet.

  19. I used to do the same cat thing except with a blanket instead of a jacket, but Logan weighs 427 lbs now (he’s a Maine Coon, it’s cool) so it’s easy to distinguish him now, what with the crushing weight on my toes and all…

    Adrianne recently posted Apathy is the worst (until something else is).

  20. I’ve done that. HAHA!!!

    Devon S recently posted It's the little things.

  21. “i didnt think oregon trail gifs could sum up my life but well there we go”

    Well I guess having your life summed up by fictional pioneers in a computer game is better than having it summed up by the Donner Reed Party.

    The Suzzzz recently posted Saturday Night Camera Clean Out.

  22. Oh and that’s why I don’t have cats anymore, they are kind of bastards like that.

    The Suzzzz recently posted Saturday Night Camera Clean Out.

  23. Definitely apologized to a pair of my husband’s shoes yesterday for kicking them, thinking they were my cat.

  24. Jenny, thought you would enjoy this article in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:


  25. Just think of how loved you made that jacket feel :)

  26. I would so have done the comforting the cat thing….you made me laugh this morning, and I definitely needed that!!

  27. I think being thoughtful of your sleeping jacket is an under-appreciated form of etiquette these days

    stacey recently posted Theme Thursday: My boobs could have won a 4-H competition.

  28. I am straining my eyes reading (and commenting) on this post on my little iPhone instead of my big iPad because my iPad is in my bedroom 10 feet away …but I am sitting in my comfy chair with my dog sleeping curled up on my shoulder and I don’t want to bother her. My husband has actually offered to bring me my iPad that is in our bedroom 25 feet away from him…but I don’t want to bother him either. I am a goddamn martyr that’s what I am…a goddamn martyr with strained eyeballs. *sigh*

  29. Hahaha your poor toes! It was all for nothing.

    Mayor Gia recently posted Football Season is Coming to an End.

  30. Don’t worry… cat’s think we’re all crazy!!

    He was probably more agitated that your feet were on the jacket and he wasn’t!

    TheFeelGoodDepot recently posted Are You an Awesome Dad?? This Guy Is!! – The Feel Good Depot.

  31. It’s twenty thirteeeeeeeen! *rides unicorn into the sunset*

    Melanie recently posted Of Course I’m Afraid of Nuclear Fallout.

  32. I am getting everyone happy everything stuff. So it shall be done!

    Reneesance recently posted Pirate Hat White Wedding Bridal Hat with Veil and Feathers - Custom Order by Reneesance.

  33. Your cat is probably just thinking how messed up it is that you are sooo considerate of your jacket’s feelings, but the other night you tripped over *him* and just started cursing because he made you stub your little toe … Possibly I’m projecting my own life here. Just a little.

  34. This totally calls for a ‘Happy comfort-your-jacket day!’ card, and starting a new movement. Jackets have feelings too.

    debby recently posted In which I was going to title this post ‘Hurray, I’m still alive’, but then some events made me question that..

  35. Don’t feel alone. I’ve very carefully gotten out of bed so I wouldn’t disturb the dog only to realize I had been laying next to a lump of blanket and the dog was sleeping in another room entirely.

    Sue recently posted I guess I need to walk the dogs separately..

  36. At least your whole life doesn’t consist of serving crazy cougars, hungover frat boys, dried-up hookers and kids hopped-up on Red Bull – all in a single morning!
    Welcome to my world on a Sunday….

  37. It’s Sunday, and you had to mention chic-fil-A? damn you!

  38. I’ve had that case of mistaken cat identity, but it’s usually a pillow.

    The Sadder But Wiser Girl recently posted Just Another Week in January Review.

  39. I think he planned it. Which would pretty much sum of MY life….pets plotting against me.

    Nickie recently posted Best flea market sign ever!.

  40. LOL That’s almost as good as when I sat here for an hour one night thinking that my husband was calling our cat for 40 minutes from bed when he was supposed to be sleeping (the husband sleeping, not the cat). Turns out the noise I was hearing was her snoring, and her snores sound like “whoooooooooo whooooooooo”.

    Dangerous Lilly recently posted Lelo Luna Beads – Noir.

  41. I keep my feet very still so the kitten doesn’t ATTACK. Thankfully the jackets haven’t started doing this. Yet.

    B recently posted Ordinary.

  42. It happens to the best of us.

    Euphoria Girl recently posted Dum Vivimus Vivamus.

  43. Ohmigosh, my husband did something similar when he saw our cat staring at him from the hallway as he cooked dinner, assumed he was trying to use his kitty mind power to get a treat, and was all: “What’s that, Johnny? You want a treat? Too bad, I’m busy. Some of us have to work to get food” (yada yada yada) Only to realize later that he had been talking to the big metal watering can in the hallway. P.S. Sometimes we call the cat watering can for giggles. #neverforget

  44. Our college aged children pointed out that my husband and I spend an inordinate amount of time assisting our elderly, incontinent dog outside. We have the intensity of a commando unit in doing so……One of us helping old dog to his feet while yelling for the other one to “Open the door! Open the door” Yeah, we’re in our 40’s…but this has become the basis of our lives. haha

  45. That’s funny..! Though I’ll see your sentient jacket & raise you 10 minutes looking for my specs only realise that I was wearing them…

  46. At least you didn’t leave a saucer of milk out for it.

    On the bright side, you have a very mellow cat, and, it seems, a very warm jacket.

    thedavidcmurphy recently posted Zombie Virus is Ruining my Morning.

  47. Oh, great. My bathrobe has been reading this over my shoulder and now it’s going to want the same treatment.

    TexasTrailerParkTrash recently posted Ashes to Ashes…Dust to Calif..

  48. I think your cat was just being an asshole and messing with you the whole time by replacing himself with a jacket just to make you feel stupid. It worked.

    Wendy Roberts recently posted I just wanna give you a SMOOCH!!.

  49. I bet your cat has secret conversations with your jacket and he was wondering if you’d overheard them!

    Miss Gee recently posted A Burglary Gone Bust!.

  50. How do you know you’re cat isn’t just leaping off your foot as he replaces himself with your jacket like a stealthy ninja who is also kind of a dick.

  51. I’ve spent 30 minutes trying to get out of bed silently so I don’t wake my husband when it was the pillow I was worried about. I learned my lesson. I now don’t care if I wake my husband.

    Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted Love Is When….

  52. I spend a lot of time lying in bed in an uncomfortable position because if I jostle my older dog she gives me a gut-wrenching look of reproach, then gets off the bed to lie on the floor. Then I have to coax her back onto the bed, because I feel like a monster for disturbing her and making a senior sleep on the floor. And sometimes, she doesn’t want to get back on the bed, but I pick her up and put her there anyway. Sometimes several times if she keeps getting down.

  53. Lmfao @ “Tony Danza is My Opening Act.”

    Rico Swaff recently posted Confession of a Toaster Strudel Frosting Klepto.

  54. The other day in class, I felt something crawling on my arm. I tried to calm myself down before freaking out in a lecture hall of 150 people and glanced down at my arm expecting the worse. Turns out, it was just my own hair…

    Robyn Webb recently posted This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things (How My Sisters and I Destroyed a Five-Star Hotel).

  55. There is some instinct in cat people to NOT disturb them. I wish they had that.

    Karen Sanders recently posted The Audacity of a Title *explicit language*.

  56. As I sit here uncomfortable on the couch with a backache, wanting desperately to move, I persist in this position because my cat is curled up on my legs. She so rarely graces me with her presence that I feel compelled to tolerate the sensation of my legs burning up because she’s too hot…all so that she doesn’t feel rejected.

    I glanced down to double-check and it IS a cat on me, not a jacket, so at least there’s that to feel good about. :)

    downfromtheledge recently posted I want my body back, body back, body back.....

  57. HAHA at least you love your clothes :)

    Ashley recently posted Danger, Danger.

  58. I get that. Last night I felt something touch my hair and I was absolutely convinced someone had gotten in my house and was seconds away from killing me, when I realized it was my cat. I would have rather done it your way :)

    HeatherB recently posted This is TMI-You have been warned!.

  59. I just checked out the ‘mysterious tiny rooms’ link. That was awesome!

  60. Cats are assholes, don’t let their judgment ruin your life. Just remember that you have opposable thumbs and cats do not.

  61. Just think you comforted a dead cow. Soothed it.

    Love, Peace and Chocolate,

  62. Ha! I can’t see without my glasses and one morning I got up and started talking to my cat. Then I went onto the hallway to find my cat looking at me wondering why I was talking to my gym bag.

  63. Ha! I can’t see without my glasses and when got up in the morning I started talking to my cat. I then proceeded to the hall only to find my cat looking at me wondering why I was talking to my gym bag.

  64. Oh the plus side…your jacket give you all the warm cuddliness of cats without their need to be fed/habit of clawing your eyeballs out when you try to take ’em to the vet.
    No vet bills for jackets, either.

    Claire J recently posted Ever Notice How The Air Tastes Sweeter Right After The Thunderstorm?.

  65. My dog thinks I’m stupid and sits on my feet. I don’t know if that’s better or worst.

  66. That sounds like me.. This morning, my boyfriend could not understand why I wouldn’t get up to go pee because the kitten was asleep on my lap. How could I possibly disturb that purring slumber?

  67. OMG so funny! I once apologized to and comforted my son’s sneaker, which I had stepped on in the dark and thought was the cat.

    Cindy Dwyer recently posted Six Sentence Sunday.

  68. What have you named your jacket?

    Some possibilities:

    MWL (pronounced Meowl, stands for My Whole Life)

    Kathleen recently posted O, Wackiness! O, Wolf Moon!.

  69. Cat jackets are hugely popular in many parts of the world.

    Cat socks, too.

    And since your family is into taxidermy?

    There is a HUGE business opportunity to be had.

    And the accessories?

    We’re thinking ferrets.

    Plus also?

    Beyonce Brand Cell Phones.

    I know, right?

    HogsAteMySister recently posted FedExTexMex!.

  70. This is totally something I would do too. Except, it wouldn’t be a jacket, it would be some horrid animal that isn’t my cat. Something that crept into the house!

    sparkling74 recently posted Back In the Saddle Again.

  71. OMG, Jenny! You need to make the Happy EVERYTHING shirt into a card! That would make my life SO much easier :)

  72. I thought that I was the only one that did things like this. I am so happy–I am not alone!

    Morgan Eckstein recently posted Enourgh fibre in diet?.

  73. This makes me wish I had a cat. Right now I just stick my feet under dust bunnies.

    Susannah recently posted The Green Eyed Monster.

  74. No. Dogs. In. Beds. Or on furniture!

  75. Cats are wonderful creatures, but even jackets need to be comforted…

    Deb recently posted Tundra’s Poem.

  76. I can think of some great “bubbles” that I could draw above your cat’s head to show what he/she was thinking about you as you comforted your jacket. Cats are real smart-asses (as you know) and I’m sure yours had some stellar words for you…

    Emily recently posted When I Was Younger, I Tried….

  77. At least you did not cut off your foot (as Mohammed cut off his sleeve) to avoid disturbing the cat. And, don’t worry, cats already have the lowest possible opinion of human intelligence. In their eyes, there’s nothing we can do to descend any further on the IQ scale.

    whatimeant2say recently posted People Who Eat Food From a Farmers Market Are Ignorant.

  78. I tried once to sneak over the 140lb white dog on my bedroom floor (which, when it’s clean, is also white). I misjudged where Chewy was lying, tripped, and faceplanted into his belly. In the dark. While he was sleeping.

    He just looked at me like I’m stupid and went back to sleep. They constantly judge me, I swear.

    Jess recently posted Gerard Butler and Unicorns (or why I haven't blogged in January much).

  79. So embarrassing. Your cat must have been looking at you like you just slammed into a mirror while jumping out of a box.

    Jill Pinnella Corso recently posted Back Home Sitcom, Ep. 3.

  80. I don’t have cats, but I have done something similar thinking my husband is still in bed and I’m trying not to wake him up. I fumble around in the dark while trying to gather my glasses and a book to go read quietly in the living room. Only when I nearly step on him in the bathroom because he’s laying on the cold tile, do I realize that he piled the covers and a pillow in such a way that it only looks in the dark like he’s still in bed. And he wonders why he sometimes wakes up with a pillow over his face. Not really, but it’s been tempting. ;-)

  81. I’ve been giggling about this for over an hour…only because it sound exactly like something I haven’t done yet (but probably will).

  82. ok…I’m just gonna go out on limb here and ask….does everyone keep their jacket under the desk? I feel like I am missing out, although it sounds like a great new use for a jacket when you are not actually ‘wearing’ it outside :)

  83. 84

    You don’t remember what year it is?

    It is “The Year of the Library” remember?

    You declared it to be so!

    Did you forget?

  84. Cats already believe they are superior. This was just confirmation for *your* cat.

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted What Would You Do with Two Hours to Be Completely Self-Indulgent?.

  85. 86
    Minnesota Red

    This year is The Library.

  86. I’m so happy I’m not the only one!! I’ve done that! I’ve spent a really long time not moving so my cat wouldn’t be disturbed and the cat was not even there!

    Carol recently posted Noisy toys in the middle of the night.

  87. I’ve done that with my dog. Not that he would care if I moved. I think it’s just a pet-lover thing. =)

    Kristen Mae recently posted You CAN Meet Your Spouse in a Bar: My Ten Year Wedding Anniversary.

  88. Ha, I misread the part when you said you are two weeks late for your weekly round-up for you being two weeks late (like late late) and I spit my drink out all over my computer screen. Literally. Vodka and coke running down my computer. Good times.

  89. Ok I think my post disappeared into twitter but you may not want to know what year it actually is as you may be phobic from it so could be good also in unrelated new confirm your postal address have awesome Dr Who stuff to send you xxxx

    Karen Hughes recently posted Monthly.

  90. So I am not the only one that feels so loved when one of my cats falls asleep or is lounging on me that I won’t dare move until my bladder is about to bust???!!! LOL!! I really would be in trouble on so many levels if I ever figured out how to pee in a container instead of getting up, inserted a catheter or just wore a diaper in order not to disturb the cats! Scary thing is, on certain days I could sort of imagine me doing that………eek!
    Can you say might need to learn to put myself first????? LMAO ;-)

  91. Don’t worry – I’ve comforted my jackets too. They need love.

    Now it’s time for me to go back into my padded cell.

    Kenna recently posted Asshole of the week goes to....

  92. 93
    Lady Penelope


  93. I have so done that with a pair of jeans.

    Kaitlyn recently posted All you will gain.

  94. 95

    I am in the middle of not moving around for one of my cats right now. She’s definitely not a jacket, but I wouldn’t put trying to confuse me past her. I’d REALLY like to adjust my legs though. *sigh*

    DevonLikesTalking recently posted I’d get a lot more accomplished if I could remember things..

  95. I’ve had this happen as well. If it’s my jeans that are on the couch after I’ve taken them off in favor of a bathrobe, the pants may well contain Sparky, the inquisitive cat, who likes trying to get into my pants. Which is not exactly what it sounds like, except that he DOES spend rather a lot of time trying to mount Buzzy, the hyperactive cat. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, until Buzzy objects, which he does. You know, that hubby was right. It does get worse when you try to explain it.

    For those playing along at home, Sparky likes crawling into my (unoccupied) blue jeans, and tunnelling down the legs one at a time. He does this to the wife’s jeans, too, while she’s still in them, starting at the ankle.

    Sparky’s seduction skills clearly need work. As Buzzy can attest.

  96. I often have to comfort the pieces of my wardrobe, but it’s as I try to put them on. “It’s okay, it’s okay, boy…these pants will totally fit. It’s okay…”

    Lorca Damon recently posted My Illness Level Has Gone to DefCon Pee-When-I-Cough.

  97. Love your cat story. I, unfortunately, have done it in reverse, thinking it was my coat under the wheels of my chair when it was actually the dog’s tail. The silly dog never made a peep!

    Linda Petersen recently posted “All she does is screech and say No! No! No!”.

  98. My cat gets similar preferential treatment. I’m also on a personal crusade to prevent depression in the family hermit crab who just lost it’s partner.
    I have publicly declared that I will consume the dog in the time of the Apocalypse, so I really can’t say what I’d do if I thought he had my feet hostage.

    Cynthia Holt recently posted It's About Time.

  99. I’ve done that! But it’s better than thinking your husband is spooning you, then turning over to see your dog.

    Kim recently posted The crib is outta here! Open the wine!.

  100. Hahaha – this is when I hate how judgmental cats can be.

    Emelie recently posted Dream-Dad, You Know What You’ve Done….

  101. Don’t you mean you’d mistaken a jacket for your cat?

    Yeah I’m being that guy today. :P

    Mark Magness recently posted Crazy Products.

  102. Fret not…I’ve had moments like that a lot! My dogs have never had respect for me so it’s cool, lol.

    Jenn recently posted Six Degress of Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

  103. Holy Crap the stupidity of the facebook posts was mind blowing. I thought I understood how dumb people can be, but I was so wrong.
    Also the tiny mysterious rooms were, well really neat and kinda weird.
    Also I didn’t realize there were so many places to ford rivers in OT. o.O

  104. I think you meant to say that you’d mistaken your jacket for your cat. If you had mistaken your cat for your jacket, you would have swung the cat over your head and tried to insert your arm into its belly. Just sayin’.

    Angela recently posted New patterns and an exciting new (to me, anyway) technique!.

  105. Sorry but I have nothing witty to add to the party. I have just read ‘The best instances of shamefully misidenifying a facebook photo’ and I just can’t get my breath back after the girl “posing with spac from star wars”. I need to find this girl and make her my new BFF.

    Sam Whiteoak recently posted Smile! It’s a Xanax moment…..(alternative title; how to work your way through an entire packet of anti anxiety meds in less than 24 hours..).

  106. Hunter S. Tomcat’s resulting blog post:
    Today, I was highly insulted by the overly affectionate human. She indicated that my worth as a companion is on par with a piece of clothing. I know this was an intentional display on her part, as she checked to make sure I had been watching her actions. In retaliation, I have decided to defecate in the potted plant. Let’s see a jacket do that.

    Call Me Jo recently posted The Middle Of Pregnancy.

  107. This post has nothing to do with your anxiety. Not all your posts do. But I need to talk about mine and don’t have another outlet right now.

    It’s bad. It’s really really bad. It’s so bad that I feel as though the entire world is moving even when I’m sitting perfectly still. My anxiety is health related and I’m pretty sure I’m dying of some terrible disease. Is there anyone out there who understands? Is there anyone out there who gets it? I need to know I’m not alone, that this isn’t me dying but instead it’s just my mind playing tricks on me.

    Please help. I have no one to turn too, no one who understands, just people who mean well but instead tell me to just buck up and get over it. If anyone is out there. Please help.

    Lauren recently posted To my friend Krista and her Zach.

  108. Jakketts needz snuggllllzzz 2!

    uniqueweirdness recently posted Bar Cabinet Project – Trash to Treasure!.

  109. This is like when my dog mistakes my underwear for me and uses those for a bed instead of my lap, right? At least he doesn’t eat the crotch out of them like certain other dogs from my past.

    Allison recently posted My Old Foe: Edits (And Sometimes They Make Me Cry).

  110. As a fellow cat-owner, I empathize with your plight and have suffered in solidarity. You had me cracking up in my chair at work! Everyone was probably wondering what the heck was so freakin’ funny.

    Shari Lopatin: Rogue Writer recently posted The Most Possessive, Jealous Book You’ve Ever Met.

  111. that just made my day. thank you!

  112. I think I enjoy reading the comments on your blog posts just as much as the posts themselves!

    Ashley recently posted Don’t be fooled: the jist of this story is that my legs REALLY hurt..

  113. Did you check for purring at all? ;-) Then again, some jackets purr. Bad idea.

    Crystal recently posted How to Conquer Work From Home Isolation.

  114. That’s hilarious! Totally sounds like something I would do. I say “Excuse Me” when I bump into mannequins!

    Becki Jolly recently posted Movie Review: Beasts of The Southern Wild (2012).

  115. Cats are so damn critical sometimes.

  116. Lauren,

    I understand. I too have health problems and the attendant anxieties. The only way it gets better is to reach out, like you are, and find help. Seeing a doctor and getting treatment for anxiety is part of my life, and I don’t expect the “normal” people in my life to fully understand, and that’s okay. If you are unable to see a doctor and are feeling too isolated, I would look into online support groups for those with chronic/long term illness. We’re out there, and talking about it with others in similar situations help.
    Remember, anxiety and depression lie. You aren’t alone.
    I hope it gets better for you, that you are able to find hope and peace.

    Natalie the Singingfool recently posted Gaslight.

  117. The cat would judge you either way, I suspect. I don’t have a real cat, since I’m horribly allergic. Instead I have a momvoice in my head that criticizes everything I do. It’s much more efficient, but not as furry.

    Otherkin recently posted Endless feedback loops and oneirological exorcisms.

  118. Ok – on a totally unrelated note… I was just sent this article link and thought of you. I would so do this with you.

  119. Don’t you think it’s ironic that we humans will do anything for our pets comfort and they are more than happy to whatever makes them happy and get snippy with us when we need them to move.

  120. It backwards with our pets. My Great Dane would fart, wake up, and look around like I did it. Then I’d do something that made her look at me like I was an idiot. I drive a car with my opposable thumbs you judgmental dog!

    The Cheeky Daddy

    Jason recently posted Communicating With Your Children.

  121. Sweet!
    I once woke up in the middle of the night with a cat sleeping beside me. I still don’t know who that cat was.

    Burns the Fire recently posted Life or Death.

  122. Sometimes I think my cat must be invisible. She’s nowhere in sight, and then I turn around and she’s giving me the stink eye for almost stepping on her.

    Dana the Biped recently posted But At Least I Ordered Great Pizza..

  123. Cat: 1, Jacket: 1, Jenny: 0.

    Melissa recently posted Fanclub is a Four Letter Word.

  124. This is why I love my dogs. Animals who lick their own privates tend to be non-judgemental.

  125. My advice: get rid of the cat and replace him with a python named Fluffy. Then of course you might mistake your boots for Fluff, especially if the fit mysteriously keeps getting tighter.

    Tom recently posted A Cautious Coyote Approaches the Road, Grand Tetons, Wyoming.

  126. OMG. I am dog-sitting for my dad and his crazy beast lies against the base of my desk chair, so I can’t move, and then my dog gets jealous about the proximity and SHE lies on the other side and I can’t move my feet or my chair and it’s exactly like you’re describing. It’s insanity.

    wonkafonka recently posted Woot! Spontaneous pie!.

  127. I once offered my empty purse a piece of pepperoni. Not only did I mistake my purse for my large cat, I was trying to sneak it food.

  128. O

    Dolores recently posted Golden Lush Awards.

  129. Oh, come now…everyone’s done that at least once. Maybe four times. Stop judging me; it was a furry jacket!

    Dolores recently posted Golden Lush Awards.

  130. I had an aunt, while she was laying on the couch, thought she was scratching her dog’s ear, who was laying on the floor. She was scratching him all right, but it wasn’t his ear….

  131. 132
    Shannon Fielding

    OMG! I actually lol’d. This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. And I really needed to laugh. Thanks, Jenny. 3> (boob heart) <3 (real heart)

  132. It’s 2013. You’re welcome.

  133. I would’ve named the jacket.

    Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted Super Bowl Not So Super? 10 Ways To Survive It.

  134. We’ve all been there. I talked to a lump under my comforter for 5 minutes last week thinking it was my diabetic cat trying to coax him out for his daily insulin shot.

    Ellen recently posted Put Them in your Tea and Spill it on your Crotch.

  135. Funny how we all try to be quite and not disturb our cats!

    Angie recently posted Facebook marks my blog as spam!.

  136. I often do weird things like that. Most recently I’ve been jumping to ridiculous conclusions about things. Now my roommate thinks we could make a game out of it and become rich.. who knows what weird quirky things will do for ya!

    Michelle recently posted Which one are you? {Round Two}.

  137. I’d have done the same thing. I was awake last night because my husband was worried I was going to run off with a fake alien from South Africa. You can’t make this shit up.

    Adrasteia recently posted Useful information for bloggers.

  138. Jackets need love too Jenny!

    Tanya recently posted Overdramatic Haiku.

  139. This is hilarious… at least the jacket kept your toes warm

    Mexmom recently posted The field trip.

  140. hahah. Loved the misidentifying facebook photos!

  141. you made me laugh so hard that I had a little donkey “hee-haw” at the end…just so glad MY cats weren’t int he room to hear it!

    Sharona Zee recently posted So Happy I Could….

  142. If it makes you feel better: One time when I was daydreaming, I accidentally petted the vacuum because I thought it was my cat. It wasn’t. She was actually sitting nearby looking at me like she wasn’t even suprised. Because of course the stupid human would pet the vacuum. This is what stupid humans do.

  143. This visual had me laughing so hard–the ‘tears running down my face, almost peeing my pants’ kind. Thank you so much for that–I needed it! My cat rules my life too, so I can totally relate. I’ll think of this post every time my limbs go numb because I dare not disturb His Highness. Too damn funny!

  144. It’s the Year The Must Not Be Named.

    Katja recently posted It’s a Snow Day.

  145. I think, as long as you don’t start turning over the litter box for your jacket, you’re probably okay.

    Lady Jennie recently posted Life in the Trenches – Chapter 4.

  146. LMFAO! Ohhhh man, have I had plenty of those moments myself. This truly made me laugh and I really needed thst today. Thank you!

  147. Every day when I wake up and work for a life coach I think of you and I am inspired. More people should be exactly as they are AND be appreciated for that.

  148. Now the cat is going to need therapy. If you find a few Xanax missing be sure to dust for pawprints. Unless of course your kitty wears gloves. Then you’re really screwed because they’ll never link the cat to the murder weapon. And your murder will go unsolved. And Victor will move on. With that home wrecking cat. You can’t trust cats. You’re better off with the jacket, frankly.

  149. What does it mean to “sponsor” a blog post of yours.

  150. I love that:
    a) So many people have done or would do the same thing. (I would!)
    b) There is a jacket under your desk… I mean, how did it get there? Was it furry?
    c) The cat saw everything and internal judged you.

    Katie W recently posted Midweek Musing.

  151. I do the same thing for my cat! Except he’s usually in my face begging for attention.

    Arianna recently posted 3 Posts in 1 Day....

  152. Too funny

  153. I embarrass myself in front of my cat ALL the time. Except he’s a little monster so if I wasn’t careful he’d bite my ankles off. So I gotta tip toe around him. :)

    Cat recently posted Snowboarding 2013.

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