Ferris Mewler, self-proclaimed Fabio of cats

Today I’m on book tour in Louisville.  Come see me?  Please?

And while I’m gone I’m celebrating here with reminders of the past, aka reruns.  YOU ARE WELCOME.

************

Obligatory pictures of my cat:

Ferris Mewler: "Rowr."

Ferris  Mewler:  “I am trying to seduce you. Is it working?”

me:  “No. It’s not working. Because I’m married.  And you’re a *cat*.”

Ferris Mewler: “You’ll come around eventually.  I’m like a damn Adonis.”

me: “Please stop this.  You’re making us all uncomfortable.”

Ferris Mewler: “I am the Eric Northman of Cats.  Worship me.”

me: “You’re not allowed to watch True Blood anymore.”

"What the FUCK, lady?"

 

UPDATED:  Several of you are not big vampire fans and are confusing True Blood’s Eric Northman with South Park’s Eric Cartman.  Which is ridiculous, because why would my cat pretend to be a cartoon character?  That’s fucking ludicrous, y’all.

It's sort of uncanny. Plus, Ferris' fangs are real. AND he has six nipples. And one time he got into my rainy-day crafts drawer and was covered in glitter for *weeks*. My cat is totally the next sexy vampire.

Someone get my cat an agent.

75 replies. read them below or add one

  1. So funny! Good luck on the book tour today!

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted Where I am Going: Forward Thinking for a More Balanced Life.

  2. Your cat completely does Eric Northman better than Eric Northman. My cat is usually too busy trying to seduce the dog to bother practicing his wiles on me.

    Vanessa recently posted This is why there's always dog snot on my rearview mirror..

  3. Nailed it. Way to go Ferris Mueller…you are clearly the man…or you were based on the pea picture! ;)

    thedoseofreality recently posted You’re Going DOWN, Iceman!.

  4. It always makes me uncomfortable when my pets hit on me as well. Of course, my only pet is a snake, so it’s a little worse.

    Brett Minor (@brettminor) recently posted Test Your Funny Bone #20 - Gansta Easta Bunny.

  5. Is it hot in here……….. ????

    Momma bird recently posted The Best Lotion..

  6. You get full marks, Jenny, for knowing what bags of frozen peas are for.

  7. I live Ferris. He’s like the sexist cat alive. Why is there no nudie calendar of him?!? Get Hugh Hefner on the phone! He needs to produce this!!

  8. Hahahah sexy ferris kitty. Rawr.

    Mayor Gia recently posted Sorry I’m Not Sorry.

  9. I remember this post! Love it!! Good luck on tour, Jenny!! I want to come see you since you are coming reasonably close to me a couple of times, but, alas, mommy duties call. :-(

  10. Your cat really DOES Eric Northman better than Eric Northman… I think my cat is in love with your cat, I’m now suddenly worried she’ll run of and turn vampire :(

    Amelia recently posted Gay (why homosexuals shouldn't raise their voice).

  11. As the agent bursts through the door with a pouch of Tender Vittles (that magically says “Fresh” (yup, I’m THAT old)) saying, “This is my client. Somebody get this pussy some cat.”

    Arnebya recently posted What Do You Remember From Kindergarten?.

  12. ‘Uncatty’

    Cathy D. recently posted 365 Poems: Monday morning edition.

  13. 13
    Nicole O'Kramer

    I’ll be seeing you tonight! Way too excited for a book signing!

  14. This is why dogs are better, no awkward seduction. Cats are so shameless.

    Lisa recently posted This weekend involved lepruchauns. And Jedis..

  15. I have any inexplicable longing for steamed vegetables. What kind of spell has that cat cast over me? I’M A DOG PERSON.

  16. That must be the sexiest cat alive! He is totally awesome.

  17. Why that’s just ridicu– wait, wait, omigosh, YES –
    I AM attracted to your cat — AND Eric Northman — cats AND vampires!
    And maybe even…vampire cats!

    Darcy Perdu recently posted Oh No, You Can’t Expense THAT.

  18. Line forms to the left, ladies.

    Heretic Husband recently posted Dear Mom Judging the Mom on Her Iphone.

  19. Please say you photoshopped the bag of veggies onto the cat. Otherwise, how did you get him to stay there when you placed the veggies on him? My cat would be “awww hell no” followed by some claw swipes at me if I tried that.

    Dawnie recently posted How to ruin your children in one easy step.

  20. I totally wanted to see you in Louisville, it’s only a 2 hour drive for me. But then, like my family and everything…so…have a great time! The River City is awesome. If you’re looking for non-chain food and drinks check out this place. Awesome. http://www.northendcafe.com/

  21. Oh, and they don’t have soup! So there’s that

  22. I wish so badly I could come up to Louisville to see you. HOpe the storms don’t ruin the day today.

    Keaven recently posted Medicated.

  23. Just one more reason I don’t want any cats in my house. I don’t need anybody upstaging me when I’m trying to be all seductive and scandalous.

    LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby? recently posted Sometimes I wake up and think I’m a bear..

  24. Does this qualifies as cat porn? Also, I’m not sure if placing frozen products on cat’s ding a ling is the best idea ever.

    wheresmyweasel recently posted In case you didn’t know…chewing cat hair is relaxing!.

  25. My cat just had his balls chopped off, so he is walking around sporting a zoolander expression.

  26. All the best for your book tour.
    Btw, your cat is doing a great jog of hitting on you. Lovely comparison drawn up

  27. And right after this was taken Ferris tore the bag of frozen veggies to pieces flinging corn all over the damn place. Only to be found months later molded to the floor. Brilliant. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

    Sara recently posted The Liebster Award.

  28. You make me feel all giggly and glittery.

    Kathleen recently posted More Weal, More Woe.

  29. I’m really excited to hear you are in Louisville today, because that means you’ll be in DAYTON tomorrow :):)

  30. Ferris Mewler… You get all the ladies :)

    Emelie recently posted And Then My Dreams Tried to Tell Me That I’m a Dying Lesbian Housewife..

  31. Ferris Mewler, you’re such a trollop.

    At least you don’t have to holler “no humping your brother!! We have company!” Sigh. Dogs are gross creatures.

    Jess recently posted Cancer is more important than duckface..

  32. Ferris, he’s got it going on.
    I posted a goat picture today.
    Maybe you can think of a celebrity
    she resembles?
    It might have to be someone coming out
    of rehab…

    Natalie, the Chickenblogger recently posted Basket Case.

  33. I think Ferris Mewler needs a chain around his neck though. Top it all off.

    Annadanna from Canada recently posted He didn't even lose his shit.

  34. I see what you mean – Eric Northman is simply a pale imitation of Ferris. You are a lucky lady!

    Mary, QoE recently posted We can’t always be good.

  35. I’m coming out to see you tomorrow! You may not remember me, but a year or so ago I invited you to my teepee-burrito rainbow wedding. Bringing my ridiculous husband with me too. So excited!

  36. extra Brownie Points for his name.
    one of my English professors had an Emily Bronte and a Willa Cathair. Emily bit my professor, had a seizure, and died. Her remains were then sent to screened for rabies. Results were negative. my professor got a rabies booster, then another cat.

    Hannah Zhang recently posted i hide my irish well.

  37. That is, indeed, a freakishly accurate likeness. Me-ow.

  38. Nothing like relaxing with frozen vegetables in your crotch. Yep. Yeppers.

    Holly Folly recently posted I Have Purchased Another Vehicle..

  39. Humm . . . Ferris Mewler is slow cooking your vegetables. Clever way to save on electricity.

    Mitzi Sorensen recently posted Irish Shades of Grey.

  40. Reminds me of when I got my cat fixed several years ago. He was… ahem… well-endowed. The nurses at the Vet’s office even said, “Oh, that’s a shame!” when they saw what he would be missing.

  41. DON’T let Ferris Mewler watch Bjork’s Triumph of the Heart video; it will be a seducing, game changer.

  42. There’s an Old Spice commercial in here somewhere…”The cat your cat could smell like”

    Hj recently posted Pack up the car, turn the ignition....

  43. Thank goodness you censored that picture. I would hate to have to tear my eyeballs out just because Ferris Mewler lounges a bit too seductively.

    Mrs. Cap'n Firepants recently posted Some People Impulsively Buy Shoes; I Wrecklessly Purchase Life Jackets for My Bulldog.

  44. Now all my coworkers are wondering why I’m crying over nipples. I assured them they were happy tears.

    Dana the Biped recently posted This is the main difference between me and the rest of the world..

  45. Really, kudos to Ferris Mewler for staying there with frozen veggies on him. Of course, there is that “Stuff on my cat” website…

    Jen recently posted Alpha? No, that's just not how I roll..

  46. Yay, i’m seeing you tonight! I’ll park in the back in case you need a quick place to hide in fear beforehand…

    Stephanie H recently posted One year later....

  47. Ferris Mewler is quite the model…You should enroll him in that show “Next Top Model” ;)

    Jenn recently posted Presenting Satan Dog…When She’s Quiet.

  48. AHH I am seeing you Thursday here in KC…I cant wait…PS your cat is one sexy beast

  49. I like his, “da f#$! you lookin’ at” face.
    I remember a comic that had two frames:
    First was of a dog saying, “He brings me food and water EVERY day. He must be a god.”
    Second was of a cat saying, “he brings me food and water EVERY day. I must be a god.”
    “Nuff said.

    Jason
    The Cheeky Daddy

    Jason recently posted Board Games - Taking It Back A Few Years.

  50. Ferris Mewler needs his own TV show.

    GK Adams recently posted Gizoogle.

  51. Good luck on your tour! That’s one very attractive cat! My cat would never strike a post like that. He’s a nervous ball of twitchy energy.

    Jessica Smock recently posted In Praise of Filth: A Housework Manifesto.

  52. Ferris has taken smizing to a whole new smoldery level with those eyes. Damn cat!

    Did he spend hours practicing Tyra’s techniques after watching a Top Model marathon? Or was he just born a vampirey model?

    PinotNinja recently posted Eleven Reasons Why Cougar Town is the Best Sitcom on TV.

  53. DAMMIT. Now I am picturing Eric Northman with six nipples. (Not that it’s all bad…just distracting.)

    Baddest Mother Ever recently posted Remember 19?.

  54. Cats have no sense of shame.

    Morgan Eckstein recently posted Snow Day 2013 the second time around.

  55. 55
    Lisa Newlin

    Altbough you make some compelling arguments, I still think Eric Northman does a better impression. After all, Ferris has a far too hairy chest and word on the street is he can’t shake the catnip addiction.

    Lisa Newlin recently posted Spanx, but no Spanx.

  56. Especially with that gray suit, your cat looks just like him!

    Punky Coletta recently posted If I go out to our yard in my underwear….

  57. Woo Hoo! Can’t wait to see you tonight! You’re getting me out of working on the remodel of our bathroom … My hubby will be putting tile down without me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  58. I love your re-runs. They’re as fabulous as new posts.

    Kaitlyn recently posted London Journal - From London Bridge to Clapham Common.

  59. Vampire Cats?

    I am locking the door and never coming out.

    Though Ferris is way cute.

    In a Glitter Vampire Boy kind of way.

    HogsAteMySister recently posted The Disconnect of Aging.

  60. BAHAHA! Seriously made monday worth it.

    Kerry :) recently posted …Leprechauns… Agents of Satan.

  61. I’m waiting in line to get my book signed by you- I’m the short chick in the leather jacket that asked about the life-size Beyonces.

    You changed my life. Thank you.

  62. Ha! That is too awesome! I miss True Blood.. agg too long of a wait in between seasons

    Ana recently posted Website Re-Launch Celebration.

  63. ferris mewler uncannily resembles eric in that ‘glamour’ shot.

  64. I think you have it the wrong way around. The bloke is doing an imitation of your cat: such is Ferris’ fame and allure.

  65. Why is this so funny? And why am I kind of turned on by a cat? I like you less for making me think this way…

  66. Jenny, I think I found another couple of taxidermied mice that you need to see. These ones just had a duel, and one of them lost.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/PTCD8

    wolfshades recently posted Winter Shine.

  67. Ferris….

  68. ‘Where’s Bill’

    Cathy recently posted 365 Poems: Come to the light.

  69. The sad thing is, your cat will most likely get an agent long before I do!
    Man, my life sucks at times….

    The Hook recently posted Monday Musings…..

  70. This is exactly why I’m not allowed to have animals. I mean, c’mon, I’ve got 3 kids and the one time I tried to get one to dress up like a dinosaur so I could film a godzilla movie. But nooooo he wouldn’t cooperate. Oh well, I guess that’s what action figures are for, right? You have your dead animals, I have action figures… And firefly ones to boot!

  71. 71
    Allison Burroughs

    You get me.
    It’s like Jerry Maguire…You complete me.
    I don’t know what I would do at work without you…
    I am officially your pimp because of this post. I am pimping you to all that I know…

    Love,
    Your biggest fan

    PS. I need a life size poster of you to go on my wall. Please and thank you.

  72. I feel like he just stares at you spread eagle yelling “LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT AND BASK IN THE GLORY OF BALL-LESS PEEP!”

    Grizzlykitten recently posted Shopping sucks.

  73. Technically, if he has six nipples, he’s a transgender cat. Not sure whether that makes it more or less awkward.

    Timo recently posted Presentation: Social media in emergency response operations.

  74. Hi Jenny! Saw you in Louisville! Great job and thanks for coming t our little city!

  75. Any picture of Eric Northman, cat or otherwise, is an obvious win

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