Nothing Rhymes With Peculiar.

me: Is there any accent that I can use where “peculiar” and “tubercular” will rhyme?

Victor: I already regret asking this, but…why?

me: I’m trying to write a poem but I’m having problems with the meter.  And the rhythm.  And the rhyming.

Victor: Are you sure you’re writing a poem?

me: It’s more of a limerick really.

Victor: Limericks have to rhyme.  That’s sort of the whole point of limericks.

me: I suppose it could be an essay.  A very short, dirty essay.

Victor: Good luck with that.

PS.  I finally finished my poem and I couldn’t get it to work as a limerick or an essay or anything else, so I changed it up completely but I still like it.

A limerick not dirty and a harpy not mean:

These are things that I’ve never seen.

A tumor for fun and a beautiful cyst:

These are things that just don’t exist.

A nipple, a knife, and something much worse:

These are the things that I have in my purse.

194 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Just wanted to mention that VIDA came out with their “Dudeville” list of major mags that have many more male than female reviewers (and review many more male than female books).

    Not fair to women writers who get less sunshine in the press.

    Like

  2. This confirms what I already knew in my heart..I need a fucking purse. And you are Yoda-like in your wisdom. Maybe thinking need I Yoda purse perhaps hmmmm?

    Like

    thetattootourist recently posted Seconds in Seattle; Coffee, Faeries, Fado’s n More….

  3. You can cheat next time and use Rhyme Zone – http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=peculiar&typeofrhyme=perfect&org1=syl&org2=l&org3=y
    Your purse is scary, it makes me wonder what you would carry in a backpack….

    Like

    susielindau recently posted The Boob Report – Sex and Yes! Sex!.

  4. What kind of nipple?

    Like

  5. Lol… I love what you ended up with. Uhm… why do you have a nipple in your purse? o.O

    (I always have a nipple in my purse. You never know when you’ll need another nipple. http://thebloggess.com/2012/04/i-have-three-nipples/ ~ Jenny)

    Like

    Jessica @ Just a Mum? recently posted There's a Second Bathroom Too!.

  6. Something much worse . . . worse than a nipple and a knife? Hmmm. I promise now that I will never ask you if you have gum in your purse.

    Like

  7. Did you consider a haiku?

    Like

  8. I pity the fool that steals that purse.

    Like

  9. BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! and I thought I was strange with my lucky severed head in the purse.

    Like

  10. A nipple in your purse? What is this Silence of the Lambs? It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again.

    Like

    The Dose of Reality recently posted Would You Rather: Sochi Problems Edition.

  11. I lost my nipples to a knife earlier this year. true story.

    Like

  12. Just a quick poem. About purses & nips. Lady, you are Texas brilliance!
    Pure art and soul. Whenever you have a ‘down’ day, remember that you have people reading your work.
    I made the comment about the Jesus Horse on twitter, but only bc I was raised Evangelical and infused with the wisdom of the uneducated.

    Like

  13. I’m worried about you.

    Like

    lisarpetty recently posted How You Will Know I am Dying.

  14. A good ‘ol Free Verse!!

    Like

  15. how exactly do you get a nipple in your purse?

    Like

  16. well, yeppers, that is a poem…and I so totally get it…especially the purse part but don’t tell my kids….they are my toys not theirs!…not sure if that makes me scary or really cool…Both?

    Like

    Dawn aka BusyMom recently posted When Is a Pain In the Neck...Not?.

  17. Um, is there some sort of implied relationship between the knife and the nipple?

    I’m okay with either by itself. It’s having them both that’s giving the piece a sort of serial killer trophy taking vibe.

    Or maybe that’s what you’re going for. Never really did “get” poetry all that well.

    Like

  18. @Dominic – a haiku is a 5-7-5 syllable count. Like so:

    A limerick not dirty
    and a harpy is not mean:
    things I’ve never seen.

    Jenny’s is far better than haiku.

    Like

  19. I’m still laughing my ass off.

    Like

  20. 20
    Juliet Holden

    So where was the word “peculiar” going to be relevant?

    Like

  21. I think you have created a new form. We could call it the tumorick.

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Apple & Oranges.

  22. Disappointed more people didn’t get the allusion to your body…of work. See what I did there?! http://thebloggess.com/2012/04/i-have-three-nipples/

    Like

  23. “I have a nipple in their purse.” is a line you don’t hear very often, and one I would only believe coming out of your mouth. And that’s why I love you.

    Like

  24. You should pair up with Billy Collins. that would be quite the work of poetry.

    Like

  25. Someone was trying to steal my wallet once in a store before an employee came and intervened. In it I carry a nipple too, and I would have been very upset had I lost it. Not my nipple mind you, a New Kids on the Block trading card with Jordan Knight flashing his nipple that I use for comic relief and in case I ever run into him at the grocery store, pediatrician or dry cleaners. Anyway, I love the poem, and I’m also relieved someone else has nipples in their purse.

    Like

  26. It’s not a perfect rhyme, but “Ferris Bueller” is pretty darn close to “peculiar.”

    Like

  27. The best I can come up with are “familiar” and “nuclear”.

    Like

  28. I’m dying to know what the “something much worse” is. It’s like a cliffhanger.

    Like

    Jess recently posted Ramona and Her Father.

  29. 29
    candyolivares

    Next project- Book of Poetry by The Bloggess:)

    Like

  30. I would like that poem needlepointed on a pillow. Or maybe a sampler.

    Like

  31. Huh. I have no nipples in my purse, but I do have a tooth-whitening-mouthguard. Which is pretty goddamned weird, if you ask me.

    Like

    Jess @ No Pithy Phrase recently posted Random Bits: Xena, Lazy Eyed Lispy Dogs, Belly Dance. These items are unrelated..

  32. You have a nipple in your purse???? I’m thinking the knife had something to do with it?

    Like

  33. aaaaand i love you. seriously. love. a few years ago as i waited in the parking lot with my sister for my baby shower to start (allowing the guests to think they were surprising me), i found not one, not two but three clementines in my purse.

    Like

    melissa recently posted A crappy parent does crafting.

  34. I’m trying to decide what is much worse than having a nipple in your purse – some guy’s penis that you cut off with the knife? I feel a rough night of nightmares coming on ….

    Like

    manuregurl recently posted Embassy Suites owes me a new dream!.

  35. Love it!

    Like

    Steph recently posted It Could Be Me..

  36. And now I’m going to be thinking of a word to rhyme with peculiar all day.

    Like

  37. Brilliant. A purse, a purse, my kingdom for a purse.

    Like

    Shari recently posted Behind the Closet Door.

  38. I’ve had some pretty weird things in my purse, though I can’t say I’ve ever had any severed body parts in there. Guess I need to aim higher?

    Oh wait! Do little kids’ teeth count??

    Like

  39. It reminds me of the poetry of Edward Gorey. Or his books. Or his illustrations. I’m trying to say that your poem is delightfully creepy, and I love it.

    Like

  40. Laughs and giggles
    Smirks by the dozen
    Oh how I wish
    That you were my cousin

    Have a beautiful day! Thanks for brightening mine:)

    Like

  41. For some reason, after reading this, I just can’t stop thinking about Sweeney Todd (knife) meets Alice in Wonderland (the purse). Y’know Sweeney accidentally walking along and falling down in Wonderland and messing everything up in their world. Sweeney Todd would have a knife fight with The Queen and she would end up beheading him and all the other characters would be sent on a journey half way around the world searching for that gem of a nipple.

    Like

  42. 42
    Mary, Fairy Godmother

    I love it! But I thought I was the rhymer (yes that’s a word…..in my world) of this relationship!

    Like

  43. Nuk. Playtex. Avent.
    People. Why do we jump to these conclusions?
    Well, yeah–Jenny–
    but that’s profiling and profiling is wrong.

    Like

  44. Oh, Jenny…
    Life with you must be like walking around beside a man with a rabid beaver strapped to his back: You never know when that animal will strike but you know it will be one helluva show when it does….
    You rock, Jenny. Thank you for lighting up what has been an otherwise ridiculously dark birthday.

    Like

    The Hook recently posted Titles Are Hard….

  45. I spent much of the morning getting sad while sorting through old family pictures I am taking to the kids this weekend , but then I read your poem and now I feel much better. No more sorting pictures until I am with the kids. You do good work. Nick

    Like

  46. Seems like a legit piece of literary work.

    Like

  47. I have a Mary Poppins-sized bag so I have room for FIVE nipples in my purse.

    Like

    Jillian recently posted Officer Fighter Pilot.

  48. I wish this nipple to be from the boob-shroom. In my mind it shall be.

    Like

  49. Why does it have to be a real word Jenny? Why? smaculiar. you’re welcome.:)

    Like

  50. Have you been pilfering things from the set of Game of Thrones again?

    Like

  51. That poem would win awards

    Like

  52. I once had a beautiful cyst, on my eyebrow. But every time my dad saw me he would ask if I got into a fight becuase he thought my eye was swollen even though I’d had it since I was born, that jackass. I got it removed when I was 17, the only cosmetic surgery to date.Hopefully the only cosmetic surgery I will ever get.

    Like

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  53. But who has tuberculosis?

    Like

    Marianne recently posted Romance.

  54. BTW, psychosis rhymes with tuberculosis.

    Like

    Marianne recently posted Romance.

  55. You’re off your rocker. And that’s why we’re friends. (I secretly consider you my friend. Not in a stalkerey way, just in a we both have social anxiety and will never meet probably because of that but if we did we would be totally friends sort of way. That wasn’t real English. Carry on.)

    Like

    Ashleigh recently posted Drowning and Depression.

  56. Wonderfully Dorothy Parker-uliar! xoxo

    Like

  57. Love the poem– and the purse contents! Reminds me when I was 12 and babysitting for this little kid. When the Dad came home, I explained, “He finally went to sleep but he was crying and crying because he couldn’t find his nipple.” The Dad just looked at me strangely like “Why was my son looking for his nipple?” and “IS his nipple MISSING?” On the way home, I realized I meant to say “pacifier” not “nipple!” Argh! (embarrassing)

    Like

  58. If only Bilbo had led off with this limerick for a riddle he would have had a much easier time with that pesky Gollum.
    What does it have in it’s pursesss that’s much worsesss?

    Like

  59. Keeping a spare nipple in your purse is just smart.

    Like

    nancytex2013 recently posted clarity, peace and joy.

  60. if someone can find something to rhyme with nantucket, the options are endless

    Like

  61. You could maybe get it to rhyme with jugular

    Like

  62. I often want to add a reply, then read the other ones & begin to feel unworthy. I’m powering through that today:)
    I think you could do a sister site as The Poetess. I would follow that one, too.
    Love you!

    Like

  63. to me it sounds like the disease that took my mother and many other women…i hope i misunderstood the poem

    Like

  64. 64
    that Tehtimmah guy

    remind me to never look in your purse, ever…..EVER

    Like

  65. The doctor had said he could cure her,
    Of a tubercular cyst most peculiar,
    She went under the knife,
    But still lost her life,
    A malignant, but beautiful tumor.

    Like

  66. I would have said “Ferris Bueller”

    Like

  67. That is some high-quality procrastinating!

    Like

  68. “Vesuvular.” Meaning: pertaining to or like mount Vesuvius. As in, “her temper is, like, Vesuvular violent.” I may or may not have made this up. Either way, you can rhyme it with “peculiar.”

    You’re welcome.

    Like

  69. Now I really want to know what Victor thought of your poem!

    Like

  70. I need a nipple for my purse…

    Like

  71. A peculiar nipple

    Like

    Michelle recently posted You Say It’s Your Birthday.

  72. You’re like a mix of Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss

    Like

  73. Dorothy Parker for the 21st century.

    Like

  74. Isn’t it peculiar;
    That there’s no rhyme for peculiar?
    Fish

    There, you’re welcome.

    Like

  75. Have you read some of Shel Silverstein’s work geared for adults? Me thinks you’d love it…

    Like

    KLY recently posted Tricking the Muse – How to beat Writer’s Block.

  76. Ridiculous poetry is the best kind.

    Like

    Jenny Williams recently posted Platonic Love: Playing With Solids.

  77. You have a nipple in your purse? I found an old rolo in mine yesterday. Not exciting as a nipple but probably more delicious.

    Like

    cellulitelooksbettertan recently posted Naked Selfies: The New Little Black Dress.

  78. A tumor for fun! That’s what I’d like to see. Tumors that cause healthy weight loss and bouts of serious joy, along with not taking over your whole body and killing you. That’s the kind of tumor I could get behind.

    Also, why do you have a nipple in your purse? Just asking.

    Like

  79. Much better than Vogon poetry.

    Like

  80. peculiar – failure – pasture – temperature – vehicular – I could go on.

    Like

  81. 81
    Jenn teh Froggeh

    I kinda feel bad that one of the only things I am getting from this is that you have a NIPPLE in your PURSE!!!! Why does one carry a NIPPLE around in their PURSE? I must doing something incredibly wrong!

    Like

  82. I honestly hope you don’t have a tumor in your purse.
    But that could be awesome if you cut it out of someone.

    Like

    Psychobabble recently posted Have the lambs stopped screaming yet, Clarice?.

  83. bwhahahaha…you’ve learned a “rule” in poetry: when you can’t rhyme it, change it. The other is make it fit, anyway. Why? Because poetry has no rules, despite all those English scholars cringing. Now, all you need is for Robin Williams to read it out loud and boom…you’re set for viral.😀

    Like

  84. Guys, I think the better question is why don’t all of you have a nipple in YOUR purse?! I can think of several uses: What if you find a random baby sloth and have only 10 minutes to nurse it back to to health? Just think how far ahead you’d be if you already had the nipple handy! Or if someone was robbing you and your only chance of survival was to squirt them in the eye with hot sauce? HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT WITH OUT A SPARE NIPPLE?!?!?!?! It seems pretty legit to me.

    Like

  85. 85
    Minnesota Red

    Both words are slant rhymes — they come near to rhyming but do not really rhyme– and would totally work in a limerick as I shall demonstrate, having spent many of my years writing dirtier and better ones than this.

    In the midst of a poweful suck
    I choked when he started to buck.
    “Do you think it’s peculiar
    to feel so tubercular?”
    he asked, hoping not to get stuck.

    Like

  86. I must make sure my response is not a bore,
    So you don’t nipple me with your nipple,
    and take my life with your knife.

    Like

  87. 87
    Aqiyl Aniys | Natural Life Energy

    You are riot! I am keeping arms distance of you and your purse! LOL!

    Like

  88. 88
    jojodancingbear

    You should rewrite the lyrics to “My Favorite Things”. I kinda wanted to sing your writy thing you wrote, non-limerick whatever to the tune of “My Favorite Things” Go Jen

    Like

  89. A nipple? LOL! Why do you have a nipple in your purse? What kind of nipple is it?

    Like

  90. I was sort of wondering about the nipple thing, too…But then I’m starting to think like Victor. Sometimes it’s better not to ask.

    Like

    karenmpeterson recently posted The Legacy of Harold Ramis.

  91. 91
    ocularnervosa

    Wow, you’re a poet and totally aware of the situation.

    Like

  92. I love it.
    I also love that Patrick Rothfuss just reviewed your book on Goodreads.

    Like

  93. That’s what those poems are for where nothing rhymes, or makes sense…
    I feel peculiar
    You seem tubercular
    It’s sunny out
    And crows are calling

    The End

    Yeah. Edgar Allen and me. Exactly the same.

    Like

    stef recently posted I'm Turning into My Mom. Only With Less Wheat Germ.

  94. Hi Jenny, your poem concerns me (and not for the usual humorous reasons). I hope everything is OK, and that I am reading more into your verse than you intend (yes, I am a Mom, so we worry about everything and everyone). Just in case – sending prayers and good thoughts your way!

    Like

  95. Those are the things you have in your purse? Really?

    Like

  96. Soda will sting when it enters your nose
    so be careful when reading the Bloggess’s prose

    And if she doubles down, by writing in rhyme
    it’ll happens again,for the hundredth time.

    Like

  97. The contents of a woman’s purse are sacred and I feel ever so blessed that you have shared what those contents are with us! We’re not worthy…we’re not worthy!😀

    Like

    TheFakeGourmet recently posted If you make Blackberry Mocha Cheesecake, always stash some extra filling in the fridge!.

  98. 98
    Jim the Shrink.

    I read your brief opus, what you called a verse
    It’s not really bad, I’ve read a lot worse
    But I worry a bit about what’s in your purse;
    You should see a doctor, or maybe a nurse.

    Like

  99. The only thing I’m surprised by is that some of these people are surprised you have a nipple in your purse. Also, I’m pretty sure peculiar rhymes with orange.

    Like

  100. I see a marketing opportunity here, so I will now offer an excerpt from my new book, called Something Smells Like Pee (no, seriously, I really did name it that):

    Forks
    This drawer was once full of forks
    but now there are only three
    What ever happened to the rest
    is a fucking mystery.

    (cursties) (slowly backs off stage)

    Like

    bejewell recently posted I Hate My Book.

  101. Your poem belongs in a new edition of “The Moon is Shining Bright as Day” , perhaps the best collection ever of amusing verse for the young at heart. Every child should have his/her own copy. Nick

    Like

  102. Sweet baby Zeus,

    Please tell me the nipple in your purse goes on a baby bottle.

    😳

    Like

  103. Jenny, I’m hoping it’s not opposite day at your house, and that this post isn’t really about the opposite of what it’s saying. Please let us know how it goes once you can talk about it, if I’m right. No one fights alone, not for (potential) breast cancer or for depression and anxiety. Hugs and love to you.

    Like

  104. Have you been reading Dorothy Parker? This sounds like one of hers.

    Like

  105. I wrote a lot of poetry from the 7th grade until I graduated from college when for whatever reason it was like I could no longer write them ever again. I had written somewhere around 5 to 10 poems a day for several years, all different. Even in the 7th grade teachers were telling my parents my poetry was so good they thought it could be published and not as a children’s poetry. When I was in high school some of my teachers got worried about me because I guess they weren’t used to high school students being able to write in voices other than their own and some of my poems were about subjects I had never experienced but seemed so realistic that concerns had been raised. I told them I simply wrote what I thought I was seeing on the faces of those around me, none of the poems I wrote were ever about me, it was almost like I didn’t have any experiences to write one about myself. I managed one more, to my husband, before we got married over five years ago, which was around 7 years after the last one had been written. I haven’t been able to write another one since. I really miss writing them.

    Anyway, I can safely say that poetry does not have to rhyme at all if you don’t want to, very little of mine ever did, but then I always wrote in free verse.

    Like

    Elizabeth recently posted Music as Medicine: Brave by Sara Bareilles.

  106. 106
    Midwest Mama

    So now I’m wondering what’s worse than a nipple and a knife in your purse?

    Like

  107. .
    .

    “Inventory”
    by Dorothy Parker

    Four be the things I am wiser to know:
    Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

    Four be the things I’d been better without:
    Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

    Three be the things I shall never attain:
    Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

    Three be the things I shall have till I die:
    Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

    .
    .

    “Inventory”
    by Dorothy Parker

    Four be the things I am wiser to know:
    Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

    Four be the things I’d been better without:
    Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

    Three be the things I shall never attain:
    Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

    Three be the things I shall have till I die:
    Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

    Like

  108. Right, woman. I feel I can be over-familiar because a) I don’t know you, and b) I have drunk JUST enough wine to feel confident to post here. I sense a disturbance in the Force. I also don’t have, y’know, oomph, in blogging circles. It’s witchcraft wot has led me astray for many a year… Yeeeeeesssss… Witchcraft. With the writey, and the bloggy. Well, I made something, courtesy of my door (thank you, door) which, I thought, you might like. HOW DO I MAKE IT POST?! Bollocks. There is no door-posty-my-door-knob-IS-Princess-Leia-button! Curse you, internets. I try to love this woman and THIS is what you reduce me to. I will find a way mutters. In other news, I’m British, so I’m allowed to say bollocks. Especially when tipsy. Which means drunk. Rat arsed big bollocks drunk. I love you. In a non-threatening way. Feel free to use the somehow forthcoming Leia Doorknob image FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL DELECTATION. Sorry for shouting. I think. I’ll be gibbering over in THAT bit of chefs pace. CYPBERSPACE. BOLLOCKING AUTOCORRECT.

    Like

  109. Excellent poem! Next time you need a word that rhymes with ‘peculiar’ look no farther than ‘mule-ier’ (more stubborn or ass-like).

    Like

    christineespeer recently posted I should have added a cowboy! My failed career as a romance author.

  110. Mewlier. Describes a cat which is more perturbed than the baseline cat. You’re welcome.

    Like

  111. When my daughter doesn’t know what to say she says “potato”. Seems like it might work for you…

    Like

  112. Yeah, that’s what I’m sayin, V Power.

    Like

  113. I’m worried. Did you have a scary mammogram experience?

    Like

  114. 114
    Boulder girl

    you can borrow my accent … peculiar and tubercular seem to rhyme in my head.

    Like

  115. so, I thought you might be interested in the Dinosaur comics-inspired song/video about things that do not exist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T7ZbV-AFWo
    They do not, however, mention purse-contained nipples.

    Like

  116. YOU HAVE A NIPPLE IN YOUR PURSE? [Runs screaming out of the room.]

    Like

  117. I have to take issue with this issue of rhyme;
    I’ve found it will work from time to time;
    To make up my own words, though it may seem unrulier;
    And though it may seem, to some, quite peculiar.

    Knock knock, motherf#####!

    Like

  118. Why do people find it peculiar,
    to like furniture made of old fur.
    For my nightstands a sheep,
    and though prices are steep,
    It was bought in the buff from my ‘puter.

    Like

  119. It felt a bit rappish. I could feel the sway beginning to unleash as I read on…Fingers snappin now. Slightly naughty, I like it.

    Like

  120. I hope you’re well.

    Like

  121. 121
    Little Blue Horse

    Maybe I’m reading it all wrong, but I’m really confused as to how the majority of the comments are taking this as light-hearted nonense verse – this seems pretty dark (and still beautiful) to me. Keeping things in a purse seems to symbolise keeping something close and by your side at all times, the contents of a woman’s purse being sacred and all. I hope everything is all right xx

    Like

  122. I totally don’t have cancer, you guys. Seriously, I’m fine. It’s just a poem. Although I did write this while waiting for results from an iffy mammogram, so maybe some of that leaked into my subconscious. I’m totally fine though. Aside from dense breast tissue that gives you some weird scares but then ends up being totally benign. Sorry if that’s too much information. This is why I shouldn’t write poetry.

    Like

  123. Since I couldn’t figure out how peculiar and tubercular wouldn’t rhyme, I think West Coast Canadian is the accent you’re looking for.

    Like

  124. I think its a list of things to find in an Edward Gorey inspired I Spy book.

    Like

  125. It would take a very brave man to open your purse.

    Possibly a Navy SEAL or an exorcist.

    Like

    HogsAteMySister recently posted A Whimpering Old Woman.

  126. @jojo, yes, I too am firmly convinced that Jenny is attempting to pass off as her own the lyrics of the banned songs from “The Sound of Music.” Then again, in that musical, “peculiar” probably rhymed with “Fuhrer.” Let’s just try not to think about it.

    Like

  127. I find it to be most peculiar
    How limerick writers will fool yer.
    You promise us ditties
    Of bollocks and titties
    And never deliver, ya tool, yer.

    (the trick is that a rhyme has to link the last stressed syllable in the line)

    Like

  128. Waiting for a script at CVS
    Without my wine
    I’m a hot mess.

    Your poem made me LOL so second L that the people sitting next to me left.
    Thanks for helping to lessen the suck of CVS.

    Like

  129. What you must do to rhyme peculiar
    Is sentence-break, like this: Spicule, your
    Jets of gas astound and awe me,
    Like Icarus, I want my mommy.

    Like

  130. Lol, “schmeculiar” rhymes with peculiar! puffpuff with weed, pass (book reference ftw!)

    Like

  131. If you used the phrase ‘two things’ or ‘three things’you would have the meter spot on.

    Like

  132. Please tell us what else is in your purse. Because my imagination is running away with me and I’m needed here.

    Like

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  133. dude, even i don’t have a nipple in my purse.

    Like

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  134. Sometimes there are beautiful cysts, for pathologists. And benign tumours are usually “just for fun”.

    Like

    read.robin recently posted Psych.

  135. I don’t think anyone could compete with you in the “What’s in my purse right now” prompt.

    Like

    Sandy the Fearless Scribe recently posted He speaks in movie quotes and I couldn't be prouder.

  136. I don’t know why I want to know what ‘something worse’ in your purse could possibly be, but I do. The suspense is making me want to eat a lot of ice cream. And I have none. So thanks for that!

    Like

    Marie recently posted S01E06: Sloth-like Reflexes.

  137. Clues, more clues as to what is worse in your purse.
    I thought you had put the boob mushrrom in a jar to carry with you.

    Like

  138. hugs

    Like

  139. Is that a mushroom in your purse or are you just happy to see me?

    Like

  140. I see Tom Ellis beat me to it with “unrulier.”

    Like

  141. Could the something much worse be last week’s lunch or something I can’t even imagine? I’m intrigued…

    Like

    jasteck recently posted Sharing Incredible Moments.

  142. Possible duplicate post.. A SIX LINE POEM OR STANZA IS CALLED A ‘HEXASTICH’ and end part rhymes with stick. You must be the reason i stumbled across thus word last week. Awesome.

    Like

  143. I write poetry too. One time I wrote a zombie romance poem. It was one of the most romantic things I have ever written.

    Like

  144. Undulier? As in, more unduly. So what if the spellchecker objects.

    Like

  145. Considering I can’t find a reason why peculiar and tubercular don’t rhyme, I think a western Canadian accent may be the one you’re looking for.

    Like

    kosturcompose76 recently posted Idiot in Training.

  146. Love your poem!! Strange enough I wrote a parody the other night.
    https://monsooninparadise.squarespace.com/home/2014/2/24/just-a-little-insight-into-my-head

    Like

    Bromley recently posted Don't Wake Me Up.

  147. A nipple and a knife in your purse? I hope there will be a subsequent more explanatory post.
    LOL I pee too much when I read this blog.

    Like

  148. I like Minnesota Red’s poem – awesome!! Actually I haven’t had time to read all the responses but my first thought for what rhymes with peculiar is Bloggess!!

    Like

  149. I worry about a knife in your purse. I can cut myself getting a knife out of a drawer. If I was digging around in my purse I might come out without a hand.

    Like

  150. I read your poem aloud at work. Everyone was entranced.

    Like

    Kassandra recently posted a little bit famous.

  151. I love reading your blog. It’s amazing.

    I’m almost afraid to ask: Why is there a nipple in your purse? The knife I get, but the nipple has me a bit confused.

    Like

    Cindy McMillan recently posted Last 2 Weeks.

  152. Was the knife in your purse the one you used to gain the nipple?

    I don’t know why I want to know that, all I know is that I do.

    Like

    Plumsauce10 recently posted Wind Back Wednesdays: The time I was a vampire.

  153. Look out, Shel Silverstein!

    Like

  154. Fried whimsy on a slice of life. That’s what I call a poem.

    Like

    Burns the Fire recently posted Shine the Light.

  155. Funicular?

    Like

  156. What a poem. I agree that there’s never been a pretty tumour or cyst. (Not that I have ever heard of, at least)…a nipple a knife and something else. . . hmm, that one leaves me thinking. ~Catherine

    Like

  157. As a mom I understand to never question what is in purse (there is ALWAYS a reason) but I must admit you have me wondering about the story behind the nipple, knife, and something else.

    Like

  158. Poetic license is everything.

    Like

  159. There once was a blogger from Wall
    Who was no good at rhyming at all
    But there’s a knife in her purse
    And I’ve a fear of the nurse
    So I’ll critique her poem come fall.

    But here’s where it gets peculiah
    (And the last thing I’d try is to fool ya)
    There’s a nipple in there
    So I’m wondering where
    Could be the left boob of Julia?

    (Hey, cut me some slack, I’m an IT guy.)

    Like

  160. ah…I wondered why you were writing poetry….http://www.psfk.com/2014/02/porn-search-term-poems.html

    Like

  161. You are a bard like no other.
    And I am grateful.

    Like

    Momma Bird recently posted Frozen shoulder. Yes it is an actual thing and has nothing to do with winter..

  162. I hate to trouble you, but I need something that rhymes with ‘W’

    Like

  163. ::::Standing up slow clap, scratch right nipple, sit back down::::: I enjoyed it.
    I thought about you when I went to Elliott Bay Bookstore on Saturday, I looked up to the top of the stairs where you stood and I pointed and said to my friend, “Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess stood right there.” And she said, “You tell me that every time we come here, really get over it you are acting like a 12 year Bieber fan.” I love she said Beaver Fan and I said “I said 12 is a little early for a Lesbian to know she likes ….you know…isn’t it?” She walked away from me. Bieber does sound like BEAVER and we are gay, it was a logical mistake. I just need someone to back me up here.

    Like

  164. I approve!

    Like

  165. I can’t claim to have any knowledge of poetry whatsoever because I never “got it” but for what its worth I think its really quite clever! Very good.

    Like

    kellml289 recently posted So this is my brain. Beware..

  166. I cannot possibly match the cleverness of the previous messages, but I’m pretty sure I can help Steve (164). Obviously, bubble-poo. You’re welcome, Steve.

    Like

  167. As I read this I cant help but to start singing: "...And these are a few of my favorite things." Its a new age verse for the old classic Sound of Music!!

    Like

    housewiveofblogdom recently posted Bloglovin’.

  168. Thanks, LisaJ……….trouble……….you……..

    Like

  169. I would buy a book of Bloggess poetry in a hot minute.:) No one else could use the word “nipple” with such beauty.

    Like

  170. I am confused… is it your nipple or did the knife somehow take another’s persons nipple..

    and this something else… could it be an antidote?

    Like

  171. Love the poem! I see a new book in the future…..:)

    Like

    Brenna recently posted A look back.

  172. Have you heard of those ovarian cysts that have hair and teeth in them? Yeah, not too beautiful.

    Like

    Diane Holcomb recently posted Should We Outlaw In-Laws?.

  173. Does funicular rhyme?

    Like

  174. I vote for follicular. Not even close, is it. Crap.

    This is why I hate poetry.

    Like

  175. That woman extraordinaire, our Bloggess
    found poecizing a cause of some stress
    She showed Victor some verse
    His response was quite terse
    Leaving Bloggess to digress quite rhyme-less.

    Like

    The Wifely Person recently posted Kids Just Wanna Have Fun.

  176. I know I’m late in the game but I found this helpful site / link http://www.visualrhymes.com/114716/peculiar

    Like

    Lauren recently posted Tell Me What You Want (what you really really want).

  177. Dear Bloggess. I’m super shitty at rhyming so have this instead: http://telegramsfromdownton.tumblr.com
    In the event that you already knew of it – “Isn’t this awesome?!”
    In the event that you are only now discovering it – “You’re welcome.”
    Yours sincerely,
    The Very English Miss Atherley

    Like

  178. …that’s so Dorothy Parker of you. Well done!

    Like

  179. Boobular…tubular? I don’t know. But the b on my laptop is broken so this was really hard to type.

    Like

  180. 182
    Melinda Talley

    I found something that made me think of your blog: http://imgur.com/a/mNcEQ
    Or google “we have a lawn dinosaur”…OMG FUNNY. Like almost as good as Beartram funny.

    Like

  181. You should be the Poet Laureate of America.

    Like

  182. Victor’s wrong. You really don’t need meter or rhythm or rhyme for something to be a poem, necessarily. Poems can be anything, so long as the structure adds at least some significance.

    Like

  183. I wrote a rap about my kids to Busta Rhymes “pass the corvoisaier” (crap spellchecker isn’t registering corvoissuierrr as a word so its spelled wrong) anyways. I tweeted. Instagramed and Facebooked it. Rappers follow me on Twitter bc they think im an up and coming rapper. They r goimg to PISSED when they realize im from coastal maine. I wear kim rogers floral pjs to bed. Anyhoo. I think u got mad skillz brah.

    Like

  184. College girls follow like lemmings. College boys use to much Axe. Grown up girls want clothes that are slimming. Grown up boys…don’t exist.

    Oh wait. We’re doing poetry? You talked about true things in your life, so I talked about the true things in mine, such as a typical day at work. Damn. I always do this wrong.

    Like

    Shelley J recently posted My grocery store understands Intelligent Design better than Wikipedia does.

  185. Pirate. Try it in Pirate.

    Like

  186. Peculiar and Tubercular Rhyme in the Great KYWVOH Area. Would have liked to have read that limerick!

    Like

  187. Somehow, turning your usual way of thinking into poetry produces truly horrifying results. It’s like you let a maniacal clown on a tricycle recite your thoughts.
    That was a compliment. I think:)

    Like

  188. I can’t help but picture that nipple all covered in lint and other gunk like an old lifesaver.

    Like

    veronica recently posted Frankenchicken.

  189. Julia rhymes with peculiar, but only if you have an awesome Aussie accent. By a funny coincidence our former Prime Minister’s name is Julia, so you could write a poem about her. While still in office she delivered the best misogyny smackdown EVER to our current PM, aka Tony The Phony Baloney.

    Like

  190. You’re a fucking genius. I’m gonna make that my screen saver.

    Like

  191. So very Dorothy Parker

    Like

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