I’m not even sure who the enemy is anymore.

Yesterday I was an hour late for an appointment because Victor changed the time on my clocks to be correct, even though he knows I intentionally refuse to “spring forward” during Daylight Savings Time because that’s the way I silently protest having to wake up earlier than ever.  I realize it’s a silent protest that affects no one, but I just can’t bring myself to re-set my clocks, because that would be like admitting that Daylight Savings Time is right.  Instead I keep my clocks the same and just remember that it’s an hour off, and then a half-year later when time changes back I’m like, “That’s right, asshole.  I waited you out and YOU changed.  I didn’t.  I WIN AND YOU LOSE.  AGAIN.”  And then I laugh maniacally and Victor shakes his head because he doesn’t understand the importance of celebrating victories against inanimate objects or ideas.  And that’s probably why he got so defensive when I yelled at him for reseting my car clock without telling me and making me late, and he was like “It’s my fault because I fixed something that was broken?” and I yelled, “YOU CAVED TO THE MAN, VICTOR” and he said “YOU CAN’T FIGHT TIME MOVING FORWARD BY SIMPLY IGNORING CLOCKS.”  And he might have a point (one deeper than I care to admit at the moment) but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still exhausted from the time change and that I don’t understand why Daylight Savings Time is still relevant in today’s world.  If anything, I think we should have Daylight Savings Week, where we set the calendar back a week every six months so that everyone can catch up on TV and get a one week extension on all deadlines.  Victor pointed out that this would totally fuck up the calendar, but I countered that we could just fast-forward through September each year because most people hate September anyway.  If I was President this would totally happen.  And also I’d give tax breaks to people who are kind to animals, or who use their blinkers correctly.  Double tax breaks for people who take dogs for car rides just for fun, or who gently shake the world for the better, or who invent new kinds of cake.

Victor says if I was President the world would turn into anarchy in the first year.

I think Victor is seriously underestimating me.

****************

And in other news, it’s Sunday, which means it’s time for the weekly wrap-up:

Painting courtesy of @fattieart (J Rose)

What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by SilkWords, which is like a choose-your-own-adventure story, but with less death and more adult erotica.  Today you can check out a new story for free.  It’s quite fascinating, but I can’t help but think that most of my real choices would be “Stay home and eat a bag of tator tots” or “Laugh inappropriately during the 0rgy.”  This is probably why fantasy stories are better.  Speaking of which, when I first saw the banner for this story I was like “Is that dude vacuuming?  Wow.  That is kinda sexy” but then I looked closer and turns out it’s a whip.  I like the vacuuming idea though.  “Make the shirtless man vacuum while you eat Doritos.”  I would totally choose that every time.   

168 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I want a new kind of cake. And I hate springing forward. I shouldn’t lose an hour of my weekend. I take it back by reading your blog at work.

    Michelle recently posted Mr. Pink, Harry Potter, Nirvana, and The Internet.

  2. 2
    ocularnervosa

    Yeah, I hate DST. Darn you Ben Franklin!!!!!

  3. I could really get behind this Daylight Savings Week. Someone make this happen.

    karifur recently posted One small step for a man, one giant leap for me.

  4. I am soooo in favor of setting the calendar back one week every year? Jenny why aren’t you president?! Jenny for President!

    Jane Ryan recently posted The Evolution of Tit Pics.

  5. Yep, we have that same type of conversation here, except instead of Daylight Savings Time (which as a native of Indiana, where DST didn’t exist until a few years ago, I don’t understand) my entire platform is based around people doing stupid things while driving.

  6. This is why I love living in Arizona. P.S. Now I want cake.

    ~C3 recently posted Blessing/Curse.

  7. Kinda hard to blame someone for making the clocks accurate, isn’t it? Just saying….

    Although I would love to see you as Presidnet for a week or two… man that would make politics way more fun. and less nasty. and with more stuffed animals. and less closet case Republicans…. do it!

  8. DST is the bane of my existence. I feel like you could achieve anarchy is less than a week.

    The Dose of Reality recently posted Pinterest Nightmare #384: The UroClub.

  9. Let’s start a campaign. Jenny for president, everyone. Running under the Unicorn party with a platform based on Doritos and overthrowing the calendar. I like it! :) Also, I probably need that clipboard for campaigning purposes. I’m not buying it for myself; it’s for your campaign. And everyone will benefit from you winning and becoming president, so really it’s the most unselfish thing ever to buy a clipboard. It might even bring world peace. Wow, I’m such a giver.

  10. Isn’t Unicron Success Club for Transformers only?

    (Best typo ever. ~ Jenny)

  11. It would appear time itself is your enemy, Jenny. Victor is merely a pawn… the poor bugger.
    Hang in there, things are bound to get… stranger, for certain.

    The Hook recently posted Why I Shouldn’t Have Access To A Video Camera.

  12. One word, Jenny: TARDIS.
    You’d never be late again…

  13. I appear to be on a comment spree.
    Someone stop me!

    The Hook recently posted Why I Shouldn’t Have Access To A Video Camera.

  14. Okay, I’m good… I think.
    I’m going to go lie down, which is going to be a challenge since I’m at work.

    The Hook recently posted Why I Shouldn’t Have Access To A Video Camera.

  15. I would totally vote for you. It might be anarchy, but your followers at least would probably be happy with it. Maybe not Victor, though.

    Jess recently posted BSC 27: Jessi and the Superbrat.

  16. It takes me months to get used to DTS then it changes back. Just stop with the ‘but we get an hours more sunlight’ because no we don’t its the same amount no matter what time the clock says. Leave the clock alone and I will be a happier person. Does this mean I hate change?

  17. I have so many cake ideas!! Bloggess for president!

    Mayor Gia recently posted Podcast 22: Boyfriend's Life Was Just Like That 70's Show.

  18. “As expected, the reverse angle reveals a cobra.”

    Yes. I completely… expected there to be a cobra on the other side of that dog. Wholly and totally.

  19. I don’t mind falling back, but springing forward is the worst. The. Worst.

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted 10 Years Ago Today.

  20. Hasn’t Victor learned by now to set his clocks, but not yours? That seems like a no-brainer to me.

    I don’t care for DST either, but this year I managed not to kill anybody: http://www.nottalkingtomyself.com/2014/03/i-am-freaking-humanitarian-practically.html

    Shelley J recently posted Throwback Thursday - Procrastination Edition.

  21. I wonder why we lose an hour of sleep…. why can’t we lose an hour of work? I vote for Friday afternoon.

  22. I use daylight savings time as an excuse for tardiness for at least three months after it happens. Then I blame it on the kids.

    bethmarkley recently posted Guest Post: Simple Ways to Stay Fit This Spring.

  23. And who is the jerk who decided we have to spring forward this early in the year???

  24. The problem is that Victor does not understand that time is not linear, but is made up of Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey…stuff. Or he’s a Weeping Angel in disguise. Either way, try not to blink around him.

  25. That drawing of you in The Red Dress is gorgeousness itself!!

    Jamie Graham recently posted Majorité Opprimée.

  26. OMG, I totally had a dream about tater tots last night. I had one of those paper bowl/tray things filled with three different kind of tater tots, and they were all delicious. I spent the entire dream savoring each one of those tater tots. And I was very sad when I woke up. So, yeah, I get your choices on your adventure story.

  27. Totally agreed. And isn’t it funny that when it “falls back” I still am never, ever EVER an hour early for anything. Ever. huh.

    RachRiot recently posted B.I.T.C.H. It's Real..

  28. I would vote for you. You had me at “tax breaks for people who use their blinkers correctly.” People who don’t use blinkers deserve all the irrational rage and pus-filled boils the world can throw at them. Is my safety not worth the energy it takes to move your fingers two inches, you assholes?

    Katy Bug recently posted Oh, Yarn. You Deceptive Devil..

  29. I had a DST fuck up this morning – I thought my ph wouldn’t reset itself (‘cos it hadn’t with previous time changes) so I set my alarm an hour early. But, of course, it did re-set itself so I actually got up two hours earlier than I normally would. Fail!

    Eleanorjane recently posted How to put on a show.

  30. I would totally vote for you!

  31. 31
    Shawn Anderson

    I love in Arizona, where the whole state said Fuck the man and we don’t “do” daylight savings time. Ever. When everyone else has to set their clocks, I just sleep.

    Sleep. The best thing, ever.

  32. I always set the clock in my car seven minutes fast. Then when I’m driving to an appointment and having a panic attack about being late I remind myself that I really have another seven minutes and it makes me calm down. It makes my husband irritated every time he’s in my car, he doesn’t understand my logic.

  33. I ordered some of those work out pee pads from a previous post. I’ll let you know how they work as soon as I decide to work out again. It might be a while, though.

  34. I have to readjust clocks again (almost typoed that to be readjust cocks again) because my kids flipped the main breaker. But score, good idea. If you become President, I am starting a petition on your website to set our cocks back one hour each fall.

    dribblesngrits recently posted It's the Little Things of Parenting.. that make you go insane.

  35. I’m sure it’s a vacuum cleaner. And I’d rather have a dust free bedroom so I don’t sneeze when bedtime-playtime reaches a critical level, than be chased around the house with something that makes me think I’m in the 18th century Navy.

  36. I think you should read my blog.

  37. HELL YES!!! Just say NO to DST!!!!!!!!!!!!! start the revolution!!

  38. I WANT TO LICK JOHN BARROWMAN!!! Seriously, I do not believe you can “pray away the gay,” but damn it! I want the chance to try and make him straight! At the very least, he will have a hell of a good time with me. lol

    Shan recently posted Book: The LAST Snowman Review And Giveaway.

  39. I think you are aiming way too low, Jenny. Why be President, when you could be Supreme Goddess of the Universe? That way, you wouldn’t have to negotiate, compromise, or worry about voters — you could just proclaim it to be so, and it would be!

    Jana recently posted Like Condoms and Cameras.

  40. I live in Queensland, Australia – the ONLY state that does NOT have daylight savings. AND IT IS AWESOME!!!! Although I could do with an extra week right now. I’d be more than happy to skip one, or even a few, later in the year. Fabulous idea Jenny! Lol

  41. Let’s face it — Victor doesn’t want you to be President because he doesn’t want to be seen in public wearing a sweater-set, does he? (We all know a well fitting sweater-set key to being First Lady. And good arms.)

  42. OMG, I totally used to take my ex’s dogs for a car ride every Sat! I’d go get a Diet Coke for myself & they’d split a Slim Jim. So fun!

    The Glitzy Faery recently posted Adorable Little Shamrock.

  43. I hate to spring forwart, so I’m totally with you. But, fast forward through September? I beg you not to do this if you ever become President, because September is my birth month, and I would hate to not have birthday and presents and everything anymore :D

  44. I’d vote for you to be president…..if I was American, that is. If you become Canadian and run to be prime minister, I’ll be all over that!!

    Kat recently posted A step into fiction.

  45. You never change another persons clock. Never ever Victor!!! What is wrong with you, you silly man? Jenny- you’d make a good president, so what if the world would go to crap– it’s kind of crappy now– but I think you would bring a fun kind of crap and that would make things less crappy. Make sense? probably to you it does– just not Victor, he doesn’t get anything.

    YourMotherIsADirtyGirl recently posted Vagina, Vagina, Vagina – It’s just a word!.

  46. We feel bad when our dog thinks he’s getting a car ride but he wasn’t. He gets so excited. So we drive him around the block. He thinks it is like a full car ride.

  47. Please run for president. I will vote for you. I will even serve on your cabinet in any capacity you see fit. I am planning to take my dog for a drive in the morning. She will have you to thank. :)

    lisarpetty recently posted Finter, Winter, Sprinter, and Summer, oh my!.

  48. “I’d give tax breaks to people who are kind to animals, or who use their blinkers correctly. Double tax breaks for people who take dogs for car rides just for fun, or who gently shake the world for the better, or who invent new kinds of cake.”

    Run on this platform. I’d vote for you!

  49. I totally need a week, right now. Can someone help me out with that? Any Time Lords here?

    Steph recently posted I Won’t Run From a Six-Year-Old. (Cause they are fast as hell.).

  50. What about introducing people who use their blinkers correctly to people who invent new kinds of cake? Inevitably there would be offspring and the first steps towards a better world of cake-making blinker-users.

    Jenn recently posted What I read today March 27th.

  51. Your only option is to move to Canada; Saskatchewan to be exact. We don’t do daylight saving time. Our clocks don’t change and we stubbornly insist the rest of the continent is wrong.

    It almost makes up for the fact that it is snowing right now. Seriously. Snowing

  52. 52
    Maggi Oswald

    I don’t change the clock forward until about 4 in the afternoon. That way, you don’t lose any sleep and by 4 pm, you’re glad it 5 so you can start drinking. And I like birthday cake. Store bought birthday cake with day-glo icing. Even when it’s not my birthday

  53. I’m still off from the time change. It seems like such a waste. When you get elected President, please don’t do away with September. I love the fall when I can still travel and not face all the kids at my favorite spots. :)

    jasteck recently posted Music on the Red Rocks.

  54. Oh, Jenny, I’m right there with you on most things and this one tops the list! There are no words to truly describe how much I hate Daylight Stupid Time. If I ruled the world, peace and the end to hunger would have to wait, ending Daylight Stupid Time would come first. Then I’d have the energy to work on the other stuff. But since I don’t rule the world, I’m willing to negotiate. It’s truly the annual adjustment to the change (which never really happens) that makes it horrific. I’d prefer standard time, but I think I could adjust to year round stupid time eventually. It’s almost tolerable by the time w go back to real time. Pick a time and stick with it. How about splitting the difference? It can’t be that hard to change the master clocks, can it?

  55. Move to Saskatchewan. They don’t do time changes there! lol

  56. The dog grooming is inspiring, but we have no dog. If we join Dogs on Deployment, do you think owners would mind if I honed my skills?

  57. please dont hate September…..my birthday is in September

  58. I totally do that with all my clocks. They are only right 6 months of the year and I glory in the fact that DST can’t force ME to kowtow!!! Power to the people!

  59. I also do not reset my watch to reflect DST. I look at it as a brain exercise since I hate Sudoko, and every time I look at my watch I have to mentally add one hour. So I’m always saying to myself, “It’s 4 so it’s really 5.” You get it.

    patti gregory recently posted "Dress Thinner by Dinner" and Other Lies.

  60. 60
    Don A in Pennsyltucky

    Set your clocks to UCT & never change them. All you have to do then is ask the person making the appt. “What is that in UCT?” This will confuse them while you make your getaway.

  61. Totally agree. Only one clock (husbands) in this house is correct. I hate DST…..I miss my hour/ I loved my hour/ You have no right to my f…….hour. In six months/ all will be RIGHT with the world. I will have my hour back/ the world will run smoothly and for six months…..I will be the Queen in the house we call Seven Kingdoms.

  62. I’m about to lose daylight savings time and I’m sad, suddenly my long lovely afternoons will be gone and I”ll be scuttling about in the dark like a crab. I wish it was all year, and two hours.

  63. First off, you are right. Daylight savings time is bullshit!

    Second of all (unless it is Victor moderating your blog comments, in which case- Oops!) you should set all the clocks back 2 hours this April fools. Mostly to get him back but also so you can sleep in :)

    It’s an oldie but goodie.

    elliwest2014 recently posted Your Pets Are Not Your Children, They Are Your Grandparents..

  64. P.S. I will totally vote for you twice…

  65. I used to think that daylight saving meant that we were, literally, putting daylight in the bank so that if we needed daylight during some emergency we could draw it out and save the world from the evil V aliens or greedy corporate raiders or whatnot. You can’t blame me though; I was only 24 at the time. –I used to do a lot of drugs.

    Scott Oglesby recently posted Will Everyone Please Shut the Fuck Up About Bacon.

  66. The Puffer Fish handbag reminds me of my friend Ruby’s “puffy vagina.” I can’t personally attest to the fact of her vagina being “puffy” in fact it might simply be “voluminous.” But she prefers “Puffy” as her vagina’s monkier is Puff Vaggy. http://thewomanformerlyknownasbeautiful.com/2014/03/body-image-issues-6.html

  67. My dog always goes for rides just for fun!

  68. I do the same thing. And have the same argument with my husband.

    Alicia recently posted Hairspray.

  69. start a twitter campaign to end daylight savings time – only you can lead the masses!

  70. Ok, so this post caused a 10min argument between me and my “Victor” about whether anyone likes September or not, but we decided that we really need to let the month that disappears be variable based on where you are in the country, because September isn’t bad up here in New England, but March is rather unpleasant, none of the winter fun, none of spring’s warmth.

  71. I would totally have to pay no tax in your world. I steal rescue stray dogs I find on the street and take them for car rides. I invent cakes from whatever ingredients I have in the fridge and put plastic dinosaurs on top. And I loathe daylight savings (it’s more like daylight fuckups).

  72. You’re a special kind of cray cray aren’t ya? And yes, it’s why I follow you.

  73. Wait do you think Victor is underestimating the time it would take the world to turn into anarchy or the general efficacy of your presidency?

  74. Yeah, the time change thing is only so those who sell caffeine can make a killing in the spring when we spring back. I’m fairly certain they’re a very strong lobby and would truly miss the extra money they make when people buy a size bigger for two to three weeks following the time change. It’s a conspiracy against us, I tell ya!

    You find the best stuff on Pinerest! I find some weird things, but you take the cake! I mean that as a compliment. :-)

  75. Can we fast forward through February instead? I know the clocks have been turned back to normal time by then, but I just hate February.

  76. Yeah! I totally take my dogs for rides just for their enjoyment, especially “the old man”. Sam is such a good boy he deserves a ride every day, if only I could do that for him.

  77. 77
    Doug in Oakland

    If we are getting anarchy anyway, why not skip the presidency (which just isn’t as cool as it used to be) and become Anarch?

  78. I don’t know how time works where you live but the clock snafu should have caused you to be an hour early. Yes, I know, I am a douche bag for pointing this out, You’re welcome.

  79. I used to not change my clocks too. I had to stop because it drove everyone in my house bat $HIT crazy. I was all, “fucking deal with it, people.” but finally they just started changing them without telling me and I’d be all screwed up and people would be mad at me. so, yeah. after I had four kids I “caved to the man.” it sucks. fight the good fight, jenny. for all of us that have already lost it.

  80. Some of my clocks are changed, some aren’t. It’s a way to keep my brain agile. And I always take my dogs for rides just because they love it.

  81. Oh, and I have been in a Cold War against inanimate objects for decades. My husband doesn’t get it, either.

  82. I would totally vote for you as president, but just don’t get rid of September please. My birthday is in September and I’m rather fond of it; even if it does mean I’m getting older.

    I think we should just start using a form of a sundial again that tells us that it’s morning or night. Or rather, just let the sun itself tell me that it’s morning or night and let me wake up and go to bed when I want. Then I could do my work when and for how long it fits too.

    AmberLynn Pappas recently posted March Moving Mania.

  83. I love DST and hate standard time. I wish we could just stay on DST all the time. I need a lot of sunlight in my life and I don’t want to have to get up early to get it. I prefer my sunlight at 8 PM in the evening.

  84. I leave my clocks at the right time in my house and car, eventually fall will come and they will be correct again. To bad my mechanic changed my truck clock last week, screwed me up the rest of the day…I vote jenny for president!

  85. Unicron?

  86. I’m with you! I hate daylight savings.

  87. 87
    @shthisisme

    Setting my clock 19 minutes fast got me through college. I’m much better, now, my car’s clock is 9 minutes fast.

  88. My friend Dave insists that Daylight SavingTime saved his life. After changing the clocks a few years ago, he got more and more tired. When he said DST was making him tired, enough people told him he was crazy that he decided to go to the doctor. Found out he had fast-growing prostate cancer, which is now completely gone.

  89. :( my birthday is in September

  90. Oh Dear God Jenny! The more you write, the more I believe we are related!!! I hate, loathe and DETEST daylight savings!!!! We have it for SIX FRICKIN MONTHS here, because some ratfink politician thought that Australia needed it to be on the world sports stage!!!! Frickin Politicians. Frickin Sport. Grrrrr. I think I need to go and stab a plate of chicken……

  91. Ha…so people really like space and time.

  92. DST stayed away from my area until about 4 years ago or something. We were last to go, but we succumbed. I’m so sorry, bloggess. I guess they just wore us down.

    Jane @ The Blue Morpho recently posted See you in June.

  93. Maybe it’s because I’m sleepy right now, but I’m not getting how you were late because the clock was changed without your knowing. Because you were already adding an hour to what you saw on the clock. For example, if you had an 11:00 meeting, saw 9:50 on the clock, and added an hour in your head, because you thought the clock was still set to Standard, then you would say “I have 10 minutes to get there.” But the clock had been changed to DST without your knowing… It really is 9:50! What you think is 10 minutes is actually an hour and 10!

    If you were looking at a clock that you thought was set ahead for DST but wasn’t, then, yes, that would make you an hour late. But I’m not getting that this is the situation you’re talking about.

    Also, Daylight Savings Time, to me, is well worth the few days of being screwed up by the loss of an hour. Without it, it would be getting light out before 5 AM, and that’s just too damn early. Meanwhile, I can keep my lamps off well into the evening, letting my lightbulbs last longer and not having it be all dark outside during valuable awake time. But that’s me.

  94. You are amazing. I love your ideas.

  95. So my late SO (boyfriend sounds lame as I’m over 50 yrs old) totally refuse daylight savings time. We just went to work at 7:00 instead of 8:00 in the summer. That gave us long evenings to enjoy. He had everyone trained to understand this about him. Called in to work? They’d give him both times. The dentist wrote both times on the appointment card. Worked great for him. Drove me crazy for a while. But now, 13 years after he died, I still just change the microwave clock that I use for interaction with the rest of the world. Well, the computer and the phone and basically anything electronic seems to know about DST without my help. There are 2 clocks in my car. I keep one on standard time and one on DST. Never have to get out the book and figure out how to change them twice a year.
    Glad to hear that we aren’t the only ones to refuse this messing with our head thing about time.

  96. I’m okay with September. Could we please fast-forward through February instead? I’m sure there are millions who would be okay with skipping Valentines’ Day, and I know my sister wouldn’t mind skipping her birthday every year. Plus, we wouldn’t have to deal with Leap Year, would we? Although, poor ol’ February has been picked on an awful lot, you know with Augustus Caesar and Julius Caesar stealing days from it. Oh well, once a victim, always a victim.

  97. No daylight savings time in Hawai’i. :D

    Tamara Woods recently posted Homecoming: Living in Appalachia as a Biracial Writer (Guest Post).

  98. Starting to suspect Victor doesn’t like cake. Otherwise he’d be encouraging your presidential bid. By throwing you a party. And getting you a cake.
    And besides, the whole anarchy thing is subjective.

  99. Is a Unicron a scheduled mythical beast? http://www.zazzle.com/unicron_success_club_clipboard-256439425613621449?rf=238233029691800410

    I love the fact unicorns are the national animal of Scotland.

  100. You have my vote!!! Jeeeez Victor…

  101. I wanted to take a minute to thank you. And the current President of the United States. I wouldn’t mind if some day that was one and the same (I take my dog for car rides just to make her happy), The current President made purchasing insurance affordable for me for the first time in 25 years. Your blog gave me the courage to use it to seek medical help for my anxiety and panic attacks. So, that’s my minute. And, Thank you.

  102. I’m from Western Australia – the other Australian state without daylight savings. I tell you what – I’m glad we don’t have it because it’s not just annoying – it’s deadly! http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2014-03-30/heart-attack-spike-follows-daylight-saving-time-study-says/5354546

  103. Whoo Hoo! I’m getting tax breaks! I assume I get automatic extensions because I take my Grandpa cookies every other week?

    Laurie recently posted What I’ll Never Be.

  104. My partner and I had a huge rant about daylight savings yesterday and decided to leave our clocks on GMT. Apart from one, our “outside time” clock to remind us that the rest of the world might be wrong, but we need to remember it’s wrong so we don’t annoy people by showing up late everywhere. I might be nuts, but at least I’m not sitting here disoriented thinking “but it’s only 4AM, why does the clock say 5?” (also, I typo’d “why dotes the clock” which is obviously the start of an epic poem to be or something right?). My best Google-fu couldn’t turn up anyone else who stubbornly refused to change their clocks. Should have guessed I wouldn’t be out of place here :D

  105. I live in a utopia where we ignore the rest of north america and happily keep our own time – the world basically revolves around us and that’s the way we like it (true confession – I have never sprung forward or fallen back in my entire life)…now if we actually had a season other than winter it would be perfect…cheers from Saskatchewan.

  106. Lol, sometime you should tell Victor, “I reject your reality and substitute it with my own.” See what he says :D

    totallyrandomgoodadvice recently posted How to Nail the Most Common Interview Questions.

  107. The dogs…. ummm…. wow.

  108. Daylight Saving Time (no s)

  109. I would think you would be an hour early to your appointment, not an hour late.
    your clock says 2 pm- appointment at 3 pm- you think 2 pm is 3 pm-you reach the doc’s office and it is actually 2 pm and you have an hour until the appontment- did I get this right.

    (You totally did. Truthfully, I wrote the first part of this post last year but I didn’t have a good ending so I just left it in my drafts folder with 800 other unfinished posts and then this week I looked at it again and finished it but forgot that it being more than 6 months old would totally screw with the timing. And once again, Daylight Savings Time has beaten me without even trying. That bastard. ~ Jenny)

  110. I agree im.stilll exhausted from the x chsnge. I ask my husband same kind of questions att. I say we petition the president!!

    Laurie Free recently posted I’m putting the scale in the Bayliner dear..

  111. I had something to say about your post, but then I saw the spray painted dogs…all other thoughts are gone.

    Luna LaBlue recently posted Slightly Eccentric Things I Catch Myself Doing.

  112. Move to Arizona! We don’t do DST here. The time is the time all year long. When it comes time to spring forward or fall back, we just laugh at the rest of the country and don’t change a thing.

  113. Just move to Saskatchewan, Canada. We don’t ever change our clocks!!!! And I LOVE it.

  114. I used to hate the spring time change, until this year because: young children. Mine were already waking up every morning before 6:00 am, but thanks to DST, now it LOOKS like they’re sleeping in an hour later! It’s not exactly a win because I still have to get up god-awful-early but at least I get to pretend we all slept in. Kind of a win (but not really)

    allsortsofawesome recently posted Booktastic.

  115. I LOVE September, thankyouverymuch, but I would totally be ok with just skipping the entire gray slushy cold notyetspring time that is March

  116. 116
    Caitlin Wrycza

    twitter account Craptaxidermy – had to double check to make sure this wasn’t your twitter account.
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/if-you-want-laughs-and-to-feel-a-bit-sick-you-should-follow

  117. The Bloggess 2016! I like your word choice, giving tax breaks to people “…who gently shake the world for the better”. We need more of those types of people! You have my vote =^-^=

    (Oh and I agree; DST is Downright Silliness. Totally!)

  118. Totally off topic here, but knowing your admiration for Wil Wheaton, I just wanted to share this with you. He collates, holds twine, and has an awesome response for this little girl: http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2014/03/30/little-girl-wants-to-know-how-to-deal-with-being-called-a-nerd-wil-wheaton-responds-video/#3DeOVZourgKGasRo.01

    If you (not you, but everyone else, of course) didn’t love him before, this should be a game changer for you.

  119. Jen – if you are not following @CrapTaxidermy on Twitter, well you are missing out…big…time.

    awesomesauciness recently posted I Have No Idea How I Got Here.

  120. I think we should just be on DST all the time and stop going back to Standard time. Because, really, who likes Standard time? No one.

    karenmpeterson recently posted I Love PicMonkey and So Should You.

  121. I hate the time change being so early. Used to be in what, April? What the March change means is that I get to drive east into a blinding sunrise for a week twice (well, not literally, since driving into the sun itself is impossible and would result in my fiery doom, anyway). It’s like the worst do-over ever.

    And I wonder, what about your phone? Do you manually change it so that it sticks with Jenny Standard Time, or do you have to remember that the phone is on DST vs.JST?

    Amanda recently posted Camille Jay Snow, July 5, 1912 to March 17, 2014.

  122. My dogs are getting too old to go on our daily 2 mile walk around the neighborhood so I am contemplating buying a golf cart so I can still take them to all their favorite sniff and roll spots. Can I get a triple tax break because I am buying a vehicle JUST to take my dogs for a ride for fun? (Yes, I am totally wasteful and stupid and I don’t care at all.)

  123. Please youtube ‘ Dont Hug me I’m Scared – Time’

    I think it might freak you out and make your day all at the same time.

    It is time related and will make you realize even more how fucked up time is.

    And me for liking it.

  124. We should start a petition to get rid of daylight savings time!! I hate it with a passion and have a few clocks I rebel with too. I have to say this year the adjustment was much easier because I am now homeschooling so didn’t have to worry about getting the kids up earlier but it still throws me. It seems entirely unnecessary and I just wish it would go away!!! It has also been shown to be detrimental to people’s mental health so there you go.

  125. I was arrested by the phrase “who gently shake the world for the better.” (And now I am in jail.)

    Kathleen recently posted A Little Behind.

  126. I use my blinkers correctly!

    And dear god, those poor dogs!!! Can we make the people who did that to them look like those poor creatures???

  127. @Tourist #63 I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but DST start/stop times moved early/late a couple of years ago and it’s not going back. This wreaks Halloween havoc on neighbors who misjudge when the elementary school kids are going to come trick-or-treating. And on a more personal note, we have to spend too much time on logistics getting together on skype with friends overseas.

    So Jenny for President — do away with DST!

  128. D’oh. Tourist is #23.
    (I’m not blaming this on daylight savings though — it’s entirely the fault of this stupid April Fool’s snowstorm which was so foolish it came on 3/31. It took me three times the normal travel time to get to work, and I even had the opportunity to stand on the interstate and scrape snow off my window. Heck, everyone else around me was doing the same thing as long as we were parked!)

  129. I have always been the same way! Left the car as is and just remembered to add an hour or whatever. This year, I fixed it for the first time ever. I blame being almost 40.

  130. I’d totally vote for you.
    Now if you can hurry up and come into power, then i can hurry up an apply for the role of chief cake taster!

  131. I’m all for tax breaks for animal lovers and actual cash refunds for people to work in animal rescue (i could use some extra money to offset those expenses). However: as an animal lover and owner of horses, I LOVE DST. Now I don’t have to check the horses by flashlight every morning before I go to work. All the city folk get annoyed, but all of us who work on farms and with animals appreciate having the suns company just a little sooner. The world may not revolve around us, but you’d get awful hungry without us — so suck it up and let us have this one little victory.

  132. I always think maybe we should just move till we reach the time zone that I want! Simple-problem solved! Half my clocks are the correct time and half are not…The tricky thingy is to remember which ones are the correct time? However I do love a challenge.

  133. Your clock battle reminds me of this:

    2:05 a.m. — . . . I look longingly at my sofa, not unmindful of the fact that it converts cleverly into a bed. I light a cigarette. I stare at the paper.
    4:50 a.m. — The sofa wins. Another victory for furniture.

    – Fran Lebowitz, “My Day: An Introduction of Sorts”

  134. 135
    Your follower

    I think you should be an hour earlier for your appointment. Based on your statements that you will add an hour to your watch in order to find the correct time. Now, Victor advanced the time one hour on your watch and you don’t know this has happened. As a result, when you look at your watch and add one hour to it, you will be ahead of the correct time by one hour.

  135. I hate daylight savings time too. It’s such BS. I think they should cancel it.

  136. Move to Arizona. The only place that “springs forward” and “falls back” here is the Navajo Reservation. The rest of us just stay right where we are. It does mean you have to pay close attention to what times your shows come on, but that’s what Tivo is for.

  137. I was laughing my arse off about your latest missive so I read it outloud to my husband who says you just lost his vote b/c “my birthday is IN september thank you very much! But in all other respects she’d have my vote.” Personally August would bite the dust for me b/c the weather is always nasty then, except then I’d be dissing my daughters birthday so, perhaps not…

  138. I think, somehow, I’m getting some instant karma for saying that it’s a no-brainer for Victor to leave your clocks alone. I have an old cell phone that I use as an alarm clock (the atomic clock part works as long as I keep it charged). But this morning, when I got up at 7am, it showed 2:59 am. I’m plugging in a new clock and setting four alarms for tomorrow. Just in case.

    Shelley J recently posted Monday seems like a good time for Throwback Thursday..

  139. I f*cking hate time changes. That’s all.

    Oh, running for President would be a great idea and all, why you are at it can you ensure all mom’s receive a mandatory six week vacation each year. Thanks.

    mmaxwellbey recently posted everybody poops… a four year old perspective.

  140. I should get totally extra breaks for inventing all KINDS of new cake. Like 60 combinations, once upon a time, on a website long ago.

    And I’d love to ignore the whole conversation of “so…if we get up at 8 tomorrow, it’s like we’re getting up at….7? 9?…” I never know. Just leave it the SAME, man.

    stef recently posted My Daughter's One of My Favorite Bloggers--AND We Collaborate.

  141. Yo. I’m new here. You make me laugh until I cry. In a good way, and I suffer from depression too, so, really in a good way. Anyway, I rebel against the stupid tyranny that is daylight savings time and I have been thinking of making it my work to get rid of it. Just so you know that you are not alone.
    Also, I think I might be happy in the anarchy that would result from your presidency.

  142. I LOVE the idea of a savings week especially as I have less than 50% of space left on both of my TV planners!

    Sometimes I wish our local dog park was closer to the house but then I see all 4 of my dogs with their heads out of the car windows feeling the wind beneath their hair and realise how much I would miss seeing that.

  143. September is springtime over here so could we choose another suckie insipid month to do away with instead?
    Laughing too hard and spraying snot on my keyboard is not what I had planned for this morning!

    Desire recently posted Too much wine, too much hair and a wheel of cheese.

  144. Came across this today – helps explain living with chronic illness to those that have no idea.
    http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
    Certainly sums up my life!

  145. 146
    Joan Ferrell

    You love dogs, you are therefore wonderful. You hate DLS time, me too, therefore thank you Madam President.

  146. I love the new art, but it looks like you have nothing covering your boobs!

  147. Join my grassroots campaign to get rid of the evil DST! https://www.facebook.com/nomoredst2015

  148. Bah hahaha — No DST in Hawai’i! This and the scenery: my only consolation prizes for living somewhere I can’t afford to actually live…

  149. I would have buckled over laughing at the end of this post if my ankle wasn’t sprained. I’d vote for you! And convince all my friends, too!

    (Can it be FREE new cake? Either way, we’re voting.)

  150. 151
    Suzanna Jordan

    I grew up in the tropics so we didn’t go through this twice-a-year time change nonsense. When I moved to the temperate zone, I was astounded to realize that grown men and women accept something so patently ridiculous with very little protest. Please, just say no to Daylight Savings Time.

  151. Last night as I was selling girl scout cookies with my daughters, someone pulled out of their drive to leave. Then he backed up to ask us what we were selling. He asked his 2 dogs their favorite kids and bought them a box. That man is awesome

  152. Like any sensible person, I find myself deeply inspired by your valiant battle against the evils of DST. In fact, I’ve spent the better part of this past minute or two trying to think of ways I can aid you in this most commendable effort. And now, at long last, I’m happy to say that I’ve come-up with the answer to all of your problems: move. Yes, yes, I understand that by moving away from Texas you threaten the sanctity of your very soul, but you know what they say … desperate times, desperate measures, etc, etc … So let’s see, there’s Arizona and Hawaii and … uh, Rwanda and … ah … well I’m sure there must be other places, too. Anyway, best of luck!

  153. I too stand against DST and refuse to change my clocks, my defense always being “give it 6 months, it’ll be right”. Though realistically I think the fact that we voluntarily add/subtract an hour twice a year is in itself an argument against “time”…Either way, would totally vote for you!

  154. I would vote for you.

  155. Oh my gosh I had the same conversation with the boyfriend twice a year about him changing my car clock without me knowing and making me late/early for something. I was single for this last time change so even though shit is falling down all around me everywhere I can at least rest assured that it is in fact 1 hr after my car says it is.

  156. If we can fast forward through February instead, I’m definitely in. To be honest, I still don’t understand why the idea of making winters darker makes any sense. We can use more light, not less! DST must have been invented by an insomniac looking for ways to get more sleep (which I can totally understand).

    Suzanne Lucas recently posted WW: Social Media for Farmers.

  157. 158
    Sparrowhawk

    “YOU CAN’T FIGHT TIME MOVING FORWARD BY SIMPLY IGNORING CLOCKS.”
    is now my status. Complete with caps.

  158. It’s not just me!!! (I get that a lot here on your blog) I NEVER change the clocks for DST and everyone around me says I’m nuts. Thank you Jenny!!!

  159. Arizona doesn’t do DST. But my TV schedule still gets screwed up because everyone else does.

    Woot! I’m all for the tax break for people who take their dogs for car rides just for fun. Mine just rode with me to the UPS store.

    Sue recently posted Don't offer me a better rate when I call to cancel..

  160. in case you haven’t seen this yet… i am pretty sure you are related to the filmmaker.. there’s no other explanation:
    http://boingboing.net/2014/04/04/1930-stop-motion-movie-of-a-me.html

  161. I am a new follower of your blog, and am scarred for life when I clicked on that final link with the dogs.
    Even sadder is that I cannot spew forth the proper amount of profanity because I gave up cursing for Lent.

  162. First of all, I would like to say that I am a huge fan of your blog. Second of all, if you were president I would never pay taxes again! I just bought a new car for my dogs. My dogs love the car. The commercial for my car, which is why I test drove it in the first place, highlighted all of its dog-friendly features. But, when I finally took the car home, I realized that these people have never met my dogs. My dogs think the car is their personal sheep herding vessel, and they’re pretty much right about that. It didn’t take me long to figure out that it was designed for someone else’s dogs, like the purse traveling kind. Now, I have spent thousands of dollars on an indestructable car that is destroyed, and I don’t have a purse big enough to carry my dogs in…this is why I can’t have nice things. Theblogesss for president, please.

  163. First of all, I’m a huge fan of your blog, and I think you would make an awesome president. I do make new kinds of cake, but no one wants to eat them, trust me. I also bought a new car last week…for my dogs. It was supposed to be indestructible, but the car people have clearly never met my herd. They must have been marketing the car to those dog lovers with purse traveling dogs, because I now own a brand new indestructible car that my dogs have destroyed. My dogs think the new car is their personal sheep herding vessel, and they’re pretty much right about that. I should get a tax break… And you should be president.

    Kristina Harman recently posted Life is Like Apple TV.

  164. Sorry, I didn’t mean to post two comments. I didn’t think the first went through. Maybe I don’t pay enough attention, or maybe I just need a brand new indestructible phone. Either way, that sucks.

  165. I’m SO GLAD I finally went through your store – that mother’s day card is the best thing that’s ever existed. I’m going to send it to my mom with the only message being, “You’re welcome.”

    literalnut recently posted Putting the “Die” in “Diet”, or How Many Calories are in This Water?.

  166. What kind of tax break do I get for taking the NEIGHBOR’S dog for a car ride just for fun?

  167. I hate Daylight Savings Time, too. I used to refuse to change my clocks, but I’d always forget they were wrong, and it totally screwed up my ability to show up anywhere on time. When I was a kid, there was a brief-lived sort of proto-X-Files for kids show called Eerie, Indiana. In one episode, the main character refused to change his clock, and he ended up trapped in some sort of shadow world empty of people who’d switched their clocks. Does anyone else remember this?

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