McDonald’s is stealing my dead weasel and it’s insultingly obvious.

If you are new here and you don’t know Juanita Weasel and all of her wonder then click here to meet her and then go here to bask in her memed glory.

Now that you know the backstory, check out the video below:

Someone get me a copyright lawyer and a small apron for this poor naked thing.

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

You could have just asked me if you wanted replica dead weasels in your happy meals, McDonalds. That’s just Basic Etiquette 101.

 

 

79 replies. read them below or add one

  1. There should be more dead weasels because they may happy meals happy 😂 I love your menagerie of taxidermy love.

    Liked by 1 person

    Gary Lum recently posted MFF0094: Scabies and sexy times.

  2. Hire a lawyer immediately!

    Like

    pokerpilgrim recently posted The Venetian Poker Room Review.

  3. Disgusting!

    Like

  4. Nowhere else on the internet could I read a tweet that included the phrase, “Pretty sure I just found a doppelgänger of my dead weasel…”. Keep it weird 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Wait, there’s a wheel on it’s belly. WHY????

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Whoever is in charge of McDonald’s toy marketing needs better meds and to be fired. Probably in that order.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. When I read your title, I was fairly certain that you were referring to ingredients in their hamburgers. Much relief.

    Liked by 7 people

    becomingcliche recently posted My Husband Is Trying To Kill Me.

  8. That is just all kinds of awesome! Also, I have missed Juanita.

    Like

  9. Do these come in Furiously Happy Meals?

    Liked by 18 people

  10. What have they done to poor Juanita?

    Like

  11. Did the Happy Meal make you happy then? Sounds like the answer is no. They owe you another dollar for not fulfilling their menu promise as well.

    Like

    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted A Mother’s Calendar for December.

  12. Jenny, I adore you and your levity. I’d like to have it on an IV drip.

    Liked by 1 person

    utterimperfection recently posted When Trust Is Shattered In A Marriage, The Way Back To It May Surprise You.

  13. That is a Pokémon…

    https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Yungoos_(Pokémon)

    (YOU’RE A POKEMON! Oh. Sorry. I thought you were trying to insult me. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 6 people

  14. 14
    Melanie Sinclair

    Totally ripping off your dead weasel. Boooooooooooo!

    Like

  15. This is one of those days when I’m so happy I work at home. I just burst out laughing sooooo loud! :o)

    Like

  16. Hey, that’s a Pokemon. So you need to sue Pokemon for copying Juanita, and then sue McDonalds for enabling them.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. My girlfriend, Evil Kitteh, is making some very odd, hyper squeeing noises because you called her a pokemon.

    Thank you, I think!

    Liked by 5 people

  18. Juanita needs a tiny Viking helmet with horns, and a shield and sword, and one of those metal breastplate thingies.

    Liked by 5 people

  19. I’m going with NOPE to that thing masked as a #mchappymealtoy. They failed to capture any of Juanita’s awesomeness, if that helps.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I thought happy meals were already made of dead weasels…

    Liked by 3 people

    theycallmetater recently posted The Serenity of a Snow Day.

  21. FYI, my apron with Juanita on it is ALWAYS the hit at Thanksgving!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. It looks like Juanita’s long lost half brother. Will you dress him in overalls and a top hat to match her apron and pearls, please?

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Wow..I smell a lawsuit at Miky D’s…and it doesn’t smell good…

    Like

    The Hellion recently posted Weird Things I Saw At Work…Part 3.

  24. They stole Glennon Doyle’s “Brutiful” to advertise their Brewtiful coffee, too.

    Like

  25. In an alternate universe, some kid playing Pokémon Go just captured a weasel in an apron.

    Liked by 3 people

    Thomas (MJ) recently posted I’m writing the stage musical as we speak.

  26. OMG! He’s NEKKID! :O

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Is it just me or does it look like Juanita should be in the swiss alps singing?

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Weasel aside, I am so happy to know I’m not the only adult who sometimes gets Happy Meals.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. When I am having a long week, I just come here and find the best stories. Thanks for sharing! I had missed your posts about Juanita previously, and I am dying over here.

    Like

  30. […] get an intriguing title like that delivered to my inbox. So, I click without hesitation and up pops this blog post, which includes a picture from her Instagram […]

    Like

  31. Please tell me this means I’m now able to go to McDonald’s and order a McMotherfucking Ruined Souffle.

    Liked by 3 people

    Christopher recently posted I Liebster And Never Flounder..

  32. I’m laughing at the cat’s “High five! Too slow.”

    Like

  33. Actualy, his evolved form Gumshoos is much more her style. possibly a love match? https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/File:Totem_Gumshoos.png

    Like

  34. Awww..that’s freaking adorable. And before you turned it over, I was thinking of that annoying sabertoothed squirrel from the Ice Age movies. Scrat? I think that’s his name.

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Don’t tell me how to manage my pain.

  35. Your cat just dabbed on you.

    Like

    emilypageart recently posted Oh, Deer.

  36. Fuck, I just have to get in one more med for insomniacs, Saphris. It’s for schizophrenics and Bipolar 1 people HOWEVER it makes 1 in 4 people tired and turns out it makes ME tired. Again, hit me up if you want real world advice

    Like

  37. You need to put a copyright on terrified looking weasels.

    Like

  38. Give Juanita her own wheel–preferably a friction wheel so you can pull her back and she can race across the floor. You could have Matchbox challenges, like it’s a new party game or something. Drinks would be the prize. Wow–I’m on a roll here…

    Like

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 166: Ich Liebster dich, Du Liebster mich.

  39. I willed you’d just get live weasels, Jenny. I will you.

    Like

    nature'sbacklash recently posted Fracking Frackers.

  40. They need to pay you a dollar per you sold! Just think, out in the world right now..millions of children are playing with your weasel!!

    Elizabeth

    (Phrasing. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

  41. I had a dead (at least I hope so) in my freezer for almost a year.I wanted to perform an autopsy but couldn’t find my high school dissection kit. If I had known there was a market for such things…

    Like

  42. weasel. The word weasel is missing from my post. Don’t want anyone to think there was a dead something else in my freezer.

    Like

  43. The big guys are always trying to take away from us little guys – Fight the Power!

    Like

    mindyqs recently posted Goat Cheese and Green Onion Muffins.

  44. OK. All caught up on Juanita. But now totally lost on the whole Nathan Fillion twine thing involving Simon Pegg…. But I am not googling it. Totally keep falling down a Wikipedia hole…

    Like

  45. McDonald’s Corporate Dude: Our Happy Meal needs something special to go with those turd nuggets we pass off as chicken.
    Other McDonald’s Corporate Dude: I just read this blog and saw this picture of a stuffed weasel.
    McDonald’s Corporate Dude: Genius! Put a wheel in it so the kiddies can roll it around the restaurant and annoy other patrons instead of eating the crap food they begged their parents to buy them! And while you’re at it, let’s figure out how to increase the shelf life of a burger by three hundred more years. They’ll be eating McDonald’s at the apocalypse! Muhahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

    Kat recently posted An Obituary, Sort of, Eight Years Later.

  46. I love Juanita and I am also incensed by McD’s clear violation of copyright laws. But, even more, I am impressed with Kitty’s high five!

    Like

  47. That’s the McDonald’s Trump Bobblehead Doll, easy to make the mistake though.

    Like

  48. Omg I don’t know what made me laugh more the post or the comments. Today some a$$ hole attacked me over a limited item (I work in a store) even though I saw he had 20 he bought from other employees (we have a limit 10) but this made everything soooo much better.

    Like

  49. Is that Rolly? (the cat, not the plastic thing)

    (Yep. She’s usually off napping but I think the smell of weasel drew her out. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  50. Love the post (I missed Juanita!), but the comments here are gold! My goodness, no wonder these people like you so much, they have the same weird humor! …. “They”, like I’m not one of them, haha. And is the fluffy poof Rolly? Don’t see him much.

    Like

    heather26r recently posted Reading, and not-writing.

  51. Copyright infringement! And I have to give a thumbs-up to hoosiersista for her “Furiously Happy Meal” comment. Thanks for your link to your Instagram account; I never get enough of Dorothy Barker and all your furry beasts.

    Like

  52. Juanita could only improve the sad, sad affair of a typical happy meal. (And sue the shit out of Mickey Ds, they deserve it!)

    Like

    skullwoman recently posted 642 Tiny Things To Write About: A Guide to Living in the Clouds.

  53. Is McDonalds trying to make a motherfuckin soufflé?

    Like

    recently posted PLAYCAT.

  54. Lord, it’s so good to see a Juanita post again. It’s been far too long since she’s been front and center.

    Like

  55. Having had a few laughs recently about “It’s McDonald’s what did you expect?!” all I can say is “dead weasel” is probably one of the better things I can think of that might show up in your Happy Meal… But on a side note: if you can successfully sue McDonald’s over serving you hot coffee I think you could make a case for the similarities between their weasel and Juanita…. they would probably at least settle out of court anyway!

    Like

    EccentricElena recently posted Why We Need Aunties!.

  56. I like Juanita Weasel and all, but my sentimental favorite is the fragile little alligator with his mouth WIDE open in astonishment / happiness. I adore him.

    Like

  57. 57
    Sarah Sweeney

    That’s a yungoos from Pokemon! I caught one and named it Wanda Weasel. =3

    Like

  58. OK, Jenny, this has nothing whatsoever to do with McDonald’s or weasels or much except that I think you might have to check out this woman’s work just because you should and probably already have. And she has the amazing webname of Rockstardinosaurpirateprincess. And I think you have some things in common. And she has an great little video on tea and sexual consent.

    http://rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com/2016/12/29/introduction-day-by-day-by-day-living-with-mental-ill-health/

    Like

  59. We got the Juanita look alike in a Happy Meal last week and I have been letting my grandson play with her. i am ashamed to admit that I did not realize her true value. She will now go up on the mantle. With a dress on her.

    Like

  60. I’m sure someone has already said this, but does this mean that we can get a happy-meal-size Beyonce Chicken from MaccyDs now?? Is there some sort of loyalty card thing going on? We need to know! xx

    Like

  61. They TOTALLY ripped off Juanita. And if the “Eat More Kale” guy in VT can get sued by Chick-a-fil who thought (years after he started) that he was infringing on their copywrite of “Eat More Khicken”, then why can’t you sue MacDonald’s????

    Like

  62. They need to at least send you a check…. or some Mcdonalds money….or a lifetime supply of happy meals….or a check…
    https://insomniagirl.net/

    Like

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    Like

    recently posted Individuality of your style.

  64. Now I don’t feel crazy for thinking that dumb thing looked slightly familiar when my son got one this week.

    Like

  65. I love your weirdness! I have a dead shark in a jar, I named Diego. Unfortunately, I can’t take him out to dress him up because he’s floating in something that looks like pool water– and he’d be all wet and fall-aparty.

    Like

  66. 67
    Rebecca Baalmann

    I saw your racoon on a list of bad hangover taxidermy.

    Like

  67. God Damn those toys have gotten weird. Give me those 80s and 90s ones back. Ninja turtles or somethin. Donald duck who races off the kitchen table when you pull him backwards to charge up the wheels when you let him go.

    Like

    jennifercoss recently posted Fucking Introduction.

  68. Juanita looks as if she’s saying “Brosephine – if you don’t GTFO., Imma claw those eyes out”. And if you’re not playing the new Animal Crossing Pocket Camp app, then good for you – and you won’t understand where ‘brosephine’ came from.

    Like

    Mamacita recently posted It’s All Fun & Games.

  69. Ha! The weasle pokemon 😂

    Like

  70. Haha!! As wonderful as Juanita Weasel is, maybe MacDonald’s came to Alberta for inspiration. And I can’t believe I am going to share a hidden wonder from my stomping grounds. :o) But, I give you…..The Gopher Hole Museum! http://gopherholemuseum.ca/

    You must check out the Dioramas. :o)

    Like

    Mrs. Completely recently posted I’ve Been Scolded.

  71. I think I need to go buy a Furiously Happy Meal and sew a tiny apron…and yeah, maybe you need a copyright lawyer, yeah, that too.

    Like

  72. I’m pretty sure I got a dead weasel in a happy meal once…. They might owe me a dollar too, or at least a new happy meal.

    Like

  73. I think this may mean that Pokemon owes you a dollar, not McDonald’s.

    Like

  74. Hi Jenny,
    On a completely unrelated note, I was wondering if there was any way i could get a copy of “Let’s pretend this never happened”? signed for my wife (Xmas gift) Thank you.

    Like

  75. Quick question. Did I miss the reason WHY MacDonalds is giving away weasels? Is it a political statement?

    Like

  76. Everyone is talking about the crazy toy thing. Why aren’t we commenting on high five kitty?!?! Seriously, are we that jaded? #saddayforcircuscats

    Like

  77. Ok I’m just catching up but my favorite has to be ‘fuck yeah, I juggle’

    Like

  78. Yungoos is the worst Pokemon, (for the latest games) it can be found everywhere. Then later in the storyline, a little girl asks your character to go after the main villain because he stole her Yungoos. (To be fair he did it just it be a dick.)

    The entire time I was like “little girl you can literally find another one in the weed patch outside your door.”

    Please use the toy to make a scene/diorama where the real weasel fights the Yungoos.

    🙂

    Like

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