Conversation with a friend whose real name is not actually “DiscoJamboree”:
DiscoJamboree: Your kid is so cute it’s ridiculous.
Me: I know. Sometimes she’s so damned blonde and dimply it almost makes me mad. She’s like a caricature of adorableness.
DiscoJamboree: Doesn’t it just piss you off sometimes?
Me: Yeah, I’m all “It comes so easy for you, doesn’t it? You think you’re better than me?” And then I just want to push her down. But then I feel really bad about it.
DiscoJamboree: Meh. I asked my brother-in-law how my niece is doing and he was all ”Oh, she’s two so she’s kind of being a dick right now.” I think it’s pretty natural to not like your kid sometimes.
Moral: It’s awesome to have friends who won’t call you a monster when you tell them your toddler would totally be perfect for a Hitler-youth poster.
****************************************
Speaking of DiscoJamboree, after much prodding from me he finally got a blog.
Email from DiscoJamboree: So I’m calling my blog DiscoJamboree.com.
Me: I loveDiscoJamboree. It reminds me of the double-dutch-disco-tech-tv-hottie line from “Loose Lips”. Except I have a problem spelling jamboree. I always want to add a “u” to it.
DiscoJamboree: ME TOO! Spell check on word totally set me straight…stupid paperclip.
Me:
DiscoJambouree: How did you do that?
Me: Image generator. It’s addictive.
DiscoJamboree: You are my new favorite person. Don’t tell my girlfriend or Jesus.
Me: Don’t you mean ‘favourite’?
DiscoJamboree: Yes. Yes I dou.
PS. Remember how I quit Mama Drama to start a new blog? I think I just quit that one too.
Comment of the day: Can I photoshop kittens in her armpits and rainbow brite giving her a hug? I promise not to draw a hitler mustache on rainbow brite this time. ~ furiousball
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DiscoJambouree is a great name. Not as funny as “pants weasel” or “trouser monkey,” but by far better than “rat butt.”
Tell your friend I applaud their choice and highly endorse their product and/or service.
Hailey is really just too cute. Does pushing her down help with that? Gets her a little dirty maybe?
Sayre’s last blog post..Fun Monday – Words to Live By
!
I challenge you to a cute off!
No NOT ME!
My adorable little girl verses your adorable little girl. Kind of like a “Zoolander” pose off, only funny!
Houston’s last blog post..OW! OW! OW! OW!
You as a political pundeet? Too funny. Although I don’t know if I should take issue for you calling me a WHIG! (US History teacher in me wants to conduct a lesson on the parties!)
Wanting to put your kid on an SS poster cracked my ass up. And, Discojamboree makes me want to pull out my vinyl of Disco Duck singing the tunes.
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..I Pity the Fool
Oh, you would so love my latest. I thought you might like to read it. It’s great to torment the spouses, right?
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..I Pity the Fool
I think that from now on every comment and email that I send to you will include this: WRITE A BOOK.
Please write a book, funniest person I know. That would make me very happy.
Fuzzball’s last blog post..Allo Tuesday. Pip pip cheerio and all that rot.
My sister’s kids are also that blonde and cute, too. Since we’re letting it all hang out this morning, I think it’s totally not fair that she got the kids who looked like they stepped out of a cereal commercial when I’m the pretty one!
p.s. my daughter is freakin adorable, but not in that take-her-to-auditions-and-make-tons-of-money-on-her way. KWIM?
p.p.s. Commentluv doesn’t work on my crappy blog. It only finds my first post ever. Don’t let that deter you from visiting my crappy mommy blog.
Anne’s last blog post..You are a bad parent to somebody!
And with this, ladies in gentlemen, The Bloggess just knocked Min down for the title of “Bad Mom”. At the very least, devil horns just sprouted through the halo.
Wicked campaign that has “success” written all over it.
Robin’s last blog post..Verbal inspirations ~ Fun Monday
I want in on this. I hate my 15 year old. People please tell me that’s ok. The two year old I can deal with…….
Lala’s last blog post..# 908
It’s okay, Lala. I hate your 15 year old too.
can i photoshop kittens in her armpits and rainbow brite giving her a hug? i promise not to draw a hitler mustache on rainbow brite this time.
furiousball’s last blog post..is this about the vibrating lady with the donuts?
Jenny you are my favourite person for the day. Seriously loving the smartass paper clip and the pretentious use of ‘u’. Can I take you home with me? Pretty please? I promise you can be the cute political pundeet!
Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Tuesday Trivia: Academy Awards
and I was feeling guilty about deleting Mama Drama as one of my ‘favourite’ sites. Where can I purchase one of your Hitler Youth posters?
My kid also looks like a Hitler youth. I feel your pain – when I walk down the street with him, it’s like I’m invisible walking next to a celebrity. I’m just the entity that pushes the stroller. Or I guess, strollur. *sigh*
Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..I Have FIVE T.I.T.s: Tennessee
That paper clip is a know-it-all bitch, right?
You, on the other hand, are hilarious.
Kyla’s last blog post..Where I’m not.
Too freakin hilariouus. Yes, I meant the extra “u”. I had forgotten about the paperclip because my husband had taken him out in the back yard and shot him some time ago. Louved it!
Sabrina’s last blog post..Houston recommendations?
Great, nouw I have tou spell everything with a ‘u’, stalk discojambouree and get image geneurator…after I push my kid for being so cute and a dick all at once…
But I have to pick her up from schoul first!
~JJ!’s last blog post..Opening my eyes
I need to go back and edit my recent blog posts.
There are not NEARLY enough superfluous u’s.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..Confessions of a Has-Been Blogger
Jenny-
You just made my day.
Really.
Gretchen’s last blog post..For the love of all…
Hitler poster child was not the first thing that came to mind, but yes, she is a cutey.
Sara’s last blog post..Dating with STDs
Anything “jamboree” sounds fun. It’s “gymboree” that makes me want to gag.
magpie’s last blog post..Peeling Eggs
You’re bloody well the most ADHD chick on the internet. Thank you for that.
Sonia’s last blog post..I Want to Know About Your Ass!
Hmmmm tasty. W/ my five year old…I just want to take a bite out of her. How many WW points in five year old armpits? Just checkin’. No reason.
Greta’s last blog post..Commenters at the Wheel
She is ridiculously cute. Cash in on that action, and pimp her out to Mattel. Maybe stick her in a Life Cereal commercial.
The Introvert’s last blog post..welcome!
That damn paper clip stole my line.
If you spell it with a u, you can say words like whilst and lovely and bugger off and bloody ‘ell.
Your girl should be in cereal commercials. Or you should.
Jennifer H’s last blog post..I need a name for this feeling
Okay, I get it. But you are adorable too.
What I think is really funny is when really ugly people have an adorable kid. Imagine what they must be thinking . . .
Carrie’s last blog post..Space Invaders
That useless paperclip is sometimes the only one who will talk to me.
HRH’s last blog post..IKEA: The animated adventure…
how is this that you know all the neat toyz?! it’s not fair. marsha, marsha, marsha, except it’s all jenny, jenny, jenny!
maybe our mothers wouldn’t have needed so many “helpers” if they could just speak honestly and say they hated us every now and again.
piglet’s last blog post..another fine example of how i’m not as smart as i think i am
HA. I was recently considering doing a post on those times that I really don’t like my children. But I was afraid I might get boycotted. Or Lynched. Lynchcotted.
I’m glad you said it.
She is so cute.
Julie Pippert’s last blog post..The United States: it’s okay, it’s an easy mistake to make
She is cuter than two puppies sliding down a rainbow. The only problem is, when you push her down she will start crying and she probably has a cute cry face and THEN you have to buy her ice cream…now I want an ice cream…damn you beautiful Nazi child.
OOHHH! I want to learn how to use image generator. How come you know so much about so much?? Do you really have a day job? Hmmm… I’m starting to suspect that you don’t.
And yes, God played a bad trick on us making our kids cuter than us. It’s his way of laughing at us.
Shoegirl’s last blog post..Amy Tan & My Year to Publish
I do have a day job but I goof off a fair amount there. Then I have to take my work home with me to catch up and Victor gets all bitchy about how I need a raise because I’m working so hard. And I nod. Because I need the sympathy.
Done
I’m not really sure why Lenny and Squiggy are in this. Probably need to ask rainbow brite or the kitten armpits
furiousball’s last blog post..is this about the vibrating lady with the donuts?
Holy mother of God. How do I order that in poster size?
You find the best damn internet toys!
ali’s last blog post..RAINN and Sexology – pt. 1
I love Image Generator, and now I think I love Disco Jamboree. This is my first time on the site, I’ll have to see if I love other things as well.
Noelle’s last blog post..It’s raining bullet points
Jenny – I know, that would totally kick ass right next to my Dio Holy Diver poster… holy shit, did I just admit to having a Dio poster on my wall?
furiousball’s last blog post..is this about the vibrating lady with the donuts?
kodak cuteness incarnate. she is.
Have I mentioned to you, at any time that you are exactly the kind of mess that I like to call “friend”? Ok, cause you totally are.
flutter’s last blog post..On being a survivor
Hoot!
Love the picture, love the Hitler-youth idea, love all of it.
Love.
It.
Period.
Redundancies are my life!
Sensitiva McFeelingsly’s last blog post..So Far Away…
It’s like an afterschool special here some days. Both of my girls are vastly hipper than I am and, I fear, that had we been in school at the same time, I would have watched them longingly from across the street on the walk home wishing I could be that cool. Then there would be the pitying looks, sigh, and despair.
amanda’s last blog post..I said, “Highlights” and she bleached my head.
She really is sprite-like. Mine has the same angelic face I did at her age, but now of course, I’ve grown out of it. So it makes me go – just wait, kid! (Yeah, three’s been tough around here, so I get you!)
And I do like the name, but my first thought was, “Is that from Marcy playground? No, that was Disco Lemonade.” Which, actually, I like even better. Maybe I should steal that…
kittenpie’s last blog post..7:00 am Fashion Emergency
you know, there’s a lot going on today here at this blawg, and yet all i can think is: jenny is a fucking quitter!
If my kids weren’t cute they would be dead meat. Sometimes I think it’s my superficial love of their beautiful looks that keeps me from giving them away to the neighbors.
Lotta’s last blog post..PTSBS: Post Traumatic Spring Break Syndrome
Holy Bloggess, you are a fricking gineous! Loved the stoopid paperclip.
You might want to check your transatlantic spelling in my Merkan-English Dictionary. Or not.
Mr Farty’s last blog post..LOLHORSE
Calling a two-year-old a dick is about the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Genius.
Your girl is obnoxiously adorable. Make her stop.
stephanie’s last blog post..i’m pregnant…*
I worked with (only) British people for about a year and a half, and I still have to fight the urge to add in extra u’s, l’s, me’s, etc. (As in my favourite travelling programme…)
Such is life.
I puffy heart your paper clip generator.
Or, as they say in French, generatour.
Kelley’s last blog post..Road Love
She is SO cute. I have to admit that it’s not when my kids are being adorable that I want to push them down. In fact, I’m pretty sure the adorable factor is what stops me from pushing them down.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..I’m Sorry
HA. I love that you can talk about disliking your kid sometimes. I dislike mine too sometimes, and I talk about it, but not in such a humourous way.
I think I’m now a regular reader. Thank you for making my life a little lighter.
L the D’s last blog post..I Take It All Back
God. I so hate that paperclip.
DiscoJamboree sounds like fun!
Shades’s last blog post..Yesterday, I fell on my ass.
Crap. I am officially out of your league, cuz I’m not funny. But I HAVE to know- do you say “month of Sundays”? Because my husband is in Houston at one of his frat brother’s houses and the guy just said “month of Sundays” to me. Do people really talk like that? Does that mean every day is Sunday for a month? That’s just too much church and too much Sundayness for me. Yuck.
Hey Ninja, I think maybe we’re on the same pain meds, armpits.
Simply Jenn’s last blog post..Fun Monday, Pensieve style
We totally say “month of Sundays” but none of us knows what it means.
My god with all these comments. I haven’t even posted on my blog in, like, a month and here you are kicking some major ass and getting stalked now by the entire blogosphere.
It kinda makes me want to push YOU down. And makes me want you even more. So, um…hi…whatchu doin’ later?
Chase’s last blog post..A Gift To Myself
“DiscoJamboree: You are my new favorite person. Don’t tell my girlfriend or Jesus.”
Dying here!!! LOL!
CC’s last blog post..April is Autism Awareness month
you’re a co-co-nut! a very hilarious co-co-nut!
jac’s last blog post..nanosecond.
Soooo cute! With a gorgeous smile like her mama.
Lady M’s last blog post..My Sister is Totally a Hero
…and even her armpit is cute. Is that even possible? Mutant child.
Kelley’s last blog post..‘Pay it forward’ winner review THE HOTFESSIONAL
See, that is the good thing about being a mom. You can be totally irritated at your child and want to give them away, but you still love them with all your heart.
Jacki’s last blog post..Seeds of Hope
I love any blogger who starts out with a title like “My Butt Is Sore Today.”
Or should that be louve?
Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..April Fool’s Day Isn’t Funny
I LOVE IT! I LOVE that I am not the only one who doesn’t like their kids all the time:). My five year old is really getting to me right now.
Oh, and my kids are/were all that blond too and DH and I are REALLY not and people ALWAYS ask where they get the blond hair. One particularly funny answer was from a friend of ours who faux whispered, “Shh, Dylan doesn’t like people to ask that question.”
Kylie’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
You totally CRACK ME UP!! First I just LAUGHED at the title.. and I had to say I loved the entire post!
Have a great day!
OMG, this is my new favoUrite blog – partly because you’re wicked and hilarious, partly because you have a friend whose brother called his two-year-old “a dick” (which made me actually laugh out loud, all alone in my bedroom) and a lot because you’re in HOUSTON!! Woot for the metro moms!
Seriously – love it.
You know, I bet she’s cuter after you push her down. Kids are always adorable with little smudges of dirt on their nose. Also: ever thought of child acting? You could exploit the cute and eventually turn her into a teenage rehab patient all in one fell swoop.
Captain Steve’s last blog post..The Best Ringtone in the World
If his whole blogging thing doesn’t work out for you, I think you definitely have a future as a stand up comic.
I for one would never call my kid a dick!
A little pain in the ass or a little shit, but never a dick. Please. A girl has to have standards.
Blue Momma’s last blog post..ME101 – Who is Blue Momma?
I think you’d make an excellent Pundeet!
And having friends that understand that while you may love your children you don’t always have to like them? Keepers!
The funny thing about the half white/half black thing is that that is how it goes. If you are white + any other minority, you default to that minority. Except that to people within that minority, you are often not a high enough percentage of that minority to qualify for membership. Yup, I know all about this one. Sigh.
Then? When you don’t look like anyone’s idea of either racial group? Oh the confusion!
Hatchet’s last blog post..Growing Challenge: Unusual Plants
DJ is a friend of mine, and we’ve had a similar conversation about my little hitlerite. (Described in detail at kathrynsmoore.wordpress.com in the blog Cotton Candy and a Snow Cone.) There’s nothing I like better than honesty, especially when it comes to talking about parenting. And besides I figure I’m helping him prepare for his own little bundle of joy, which is no doubt only a few short years away.
Katy’s last blog post..English 101
So then, not so much with the quitting? I hate April Fools Day.
Candy’s last blog post..And Not A Moment Too Soon
Not so much with the quitting but I think I’m still going to be a political pundeet. You know, just for kicks.
Just knowing that you could totally take them in a fight makes you feel better about the fact that our kids are cuter and more attention-getting than we will ever be.
BusyDad’s last blog post..Removing “Landscaping” From My CareerBuilder.com Search
I love U!
kelly’s last blog post..When Love Is Complicated
*LOL* at the Hitler youth poster. My son has blue eyes, blond hair, and fair skin, too. When random guys with tattoos comment on how cute your son is…yeah, he’s cute.
avonlea’s last blog post..His vocabulary just keeps growing!
You’re so rad.
Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..Senseo. I’ll Give You a Hint: It’s not a Ninja
Is it wrong that you are my new role model for being a mother?
andrea’s last blog post..Lucky Thirteen
That’s why when people see a cute kid, they announce how much they would love to squeeze the little bugger or pinch their cheeks. It’s because they can’t walk up to a little kid with ringlets and pink cheeks and push them. I mean, I guess you can, but that might be weird.
Heather B.’s last blog post..Clingy
I seriously don’t know how I’ve lived this long *without* the image generator. My life is now complete.
To Think Is To Create’s last blog post..Eye Contact For The Soul
There is no way you could possibly be winning if we are fighting. No. Way.
In other news, are we fighting?
In yet still other news, Izzy and I need to talk to you…
Oh, The Joys’s last blog post..Pulitzer Prize for Drama