Victor’s been out of town since Monday but he called me this morning to check in.
Victor: So what’s going on today?
me: Not much. Sarah Palin’s yelling at cartoons again.
Victor: …huh.
me: Kind of a slow news day, I guess.
Victor: Yeah, I actually meant ‘What’s going on at our home?”
me: Oh. Well, you should have been more specific.
Victor: And why did you say Sarah Palin was yelling at cartoon characters “again“?
me: I dunno. It just sounded funnier that way. She seems like the kind of person who yells at cartoons all the time.
Victor: *sigh*
me: Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want the Republican version of what’s going on today? Because we can start over if that’s what you want. I’m hanging up now. Call me back and I’ll tell you about how Barack Obama doesn’t have a birth certificate because he’s actually a bunch of meerkats.
Then I hung up and Victor NEVER CALLED ME BACK. Probably because he’d already heard all of the Republican news earlier. Which makes me wonder why he even bothered to call me at all. In all fairness though, he’s probably wondering that too.
Comment of the day: In all fairness, if I were American I probably would have voted for Bush in the first election, but that was during my “vote for whoever would look better on money” phase and sad as it is, Bush had Gore beat. That was NOT a good looking election. ~ Robynn
{ 1 trackback }
{ 101 comments… read them below or add one }
This week a new baby meerkat was born at London’s Paradise Wildlife Park. If what you say about Obama is true, this could mean a major bastard-child scandal.
Mr. Paul Maul´s last blog ..MR. MAUL REQUESTS YOUR INPUT ON THE COMING APOCALYPSE
You ROCK!! that is all.
Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me´s last blog ..Valentine’s Day
I would think that Victor would no longer be surprised by anything you say.
Apparently I’m wrong about that.
Bin Laden’s half-brother’s cousin’s mom’s neighbor.
Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Hump Day Humor: Orbit
Well shit. I meant to write…
Wait. I thought Obama was Bin Laden’s half-brother’s cousin’s mom’s neighbor.
There. That’s better.
Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Hump Day Humor: Orbit
My prediction: Sarah Palin runs against Mitt Romney and Mitt wins the Republican ticket. Obama runs again, against Hillary, Hillary wins the ticket for the Dems. End result: Everyone becomes mormon or socialist. Lol.
Gabrielle Valentine´s last blog ..Not So Wordless Wednesday. (PS: I love him more than I can express here, even though he’ll never, ever love me back. That way, anyway.)
Wow! An exasperated sigh??? No yelling??? Aaaaawwweeee…. he really does love and understand you!
And since he never called you back that just means he doesn’t want the republican version. Smart man.
Nice to know I’m not the only one having such brief conversations with my spouse. That oughta be roughly how my telephonic communication goes during my impending stay in your hometown during Mom 2.0 … right down to the “meerkats” part.
Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..Y? Because I’m a basket case!
This is an Official Petition to visit your brain…I’m serious. Let’s just Magic School Bus me in there.
He’s probably trying to come up with a logical explanation. Stress on “logical”.
OMG……are you a Socialist?
Maybe he’ll call tomorrow, since you let the whole Meerkat Obama thing outta the bag.
domestic extraordinaire´s last blog ..My heart is overcome with bliss
Meerkat? Is that all? Our Prime Minister is a Balloon and all his minions are cats and Dogs! Australia FTW!!!
With Barry coming to Ozzieland soon, maybe @firstdogonmoon can draw him as his meerkat heritage
Franksting´s last blog ..Open Internet
And people say that Sarah Palin isn’t fit to run your country. Bah! I would be more worried about a potential presidential candidate for your country who DOESN’T yell at cartoons.
Our “leader” sings Beatles tunes with Yo Yo Ma.
melistress´s last blog ..The Day My Dream of Being An Olympic Figure Skater Died a Nasty and Painful Death
A bunch of ISLAMIC meerkats, you mean. Let’s keep our facts straight.
pjwaldron´s last blog ..Must Remember Talking Points
He must not be interested in current events or Family Guy, either way he knew what he was getting into
habanerogal´s last blog ..On Resolutions
I thought Obama was a muslin…you know the stuff that rips hot wax off of you vagina? I am so confused and I have a headache.
A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: Signs
My husband stopped returning my calls and texts specifically because of conversations exactly like this.
Bejewell´s last blog ..A Plug for Something Else I Wrote, Cleverly Disguised as a List of Random Bullshit
I thought it was mongooses. Mongooses are known for their presidential impersonations. Plus they’re from Hawaii.
How can you possibly write *anything* politically related without the word ‘stab’?
I.
Am.
Shocked.
WildlyBland´s last blog ..Freaky Friday: Fire Woman, You’re To Blame…
You’re right. Sarah Palin yells at cartoons every day. Her family.
Stephanie´s last blog ..When life gives you lemons, don’t make me lemonade. It’s gross.
Wow. My mom told me that Barack Obama hates Jesus and is really from Africa. Also, he might be the antiChrist. I didn’t know he is also a bunch of meercats.
Windsor Grace´s last blog ..Taryn P Rocks
hilarious analogy for the husband-wife disconnect!
Patty Punker´s last blog ..my dirty little secret
This made me laugh out loud. I’m going to say that next time someone asks me what’s up.
You got it a tiny bit wrong. Sarah Palin is actually a bunch of cartoons. You can let Victor know the next time he calls.
jenn´s last blog ..Counting Down to the Teen Years
I hear the Republican News every day at lunch. Did you know that Barry’s to blame for everything that’s wrong with our country? Like there isn’t a Senate or Congress that has anything to do with anything. Clearly, Obama has them all hypnotized to do his will muahahahahahaha.
Don’t show this to my aunt, you’ll make her brain explode. She gets so excited about CLEARLY UNTRUE information about Obama. Then she can email me more about how Obama sells ice cream laced with poisonous darts to children because he’s actually a mentally handicapped gay russian spy.
Jamie´s last blog ..lady, lady! there’s a bear in your car!
It’s ok. I sorta look like Sarah Palin, even though I voted for Obama, once.
juliejulie´s last blog ..The One About Swimming
How did you and Victor get together? On a dare?
musbert´s last blog ..Sisyphus and Cassandra
Never been shocked by anything you’ve written until today. You voted for Bush?
I heart meerkats. Where do I vote?
mr farty´s last blog ..Scientists Hate Cats
You know, I am a Republican, and I find ALL OF THIS funny. I find the Obama jokes funny, I find the Palin jokes funny, and I laughed my ass off during Family Guy on Sunday.
Untypically Jia´s last blog ..The Invention of Lying: How a short, fat writer with a snub nose got to have Jennifer Garner as his love interest
Umm…Wow
I read the article about the “R-Word” flap and I realized something: Sarah Palin in f’ing brilliant! She had the foresight to give birth to a Down Syndrome child just before being thrust into the national spotlight, and milked those mommy photo ops to the max. And now, rather than fading into obscurity, she can thrust herself into the public eye every time ANY celebrity, movie, TV show or cartoon character makes any references to “retard” or “retarded.” Which happens, what? Fifty times a day? Wow. This will get her elected President in 2012, mark my words.
I love the show. They (MacFarlane) make fun of everybody….I ROFFL at the stereotypical black jokes, gay jokes, pedophile jokes (that dirty old man always wanting to get in Chris’ pants) ….I say “GROW A PAIR SARAH”!!
Roschelle´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
Gotta wonder sometimes if he’s ever really met you.
Paula´s last blog ..Miss you, Spring Chicken (Memory Lane #19)
What was Victor expecting? A soliloquy on the number of times the furnace has gone on in the last 2 days?
a´s last blog ..Equations
Why is Sarah Palin shouting at cartoons? I don’t watch the news, and I have different news which doesn’t help. I’d have thought you meant in the world and generally whats happening in the worlk is more entertaining, oooh NCIS just started
In Sarah’s defense, cartoon characters yell at her first.
MayoPie´s last blog ..My Sister Enjoys Your Children’s Pain
Did I just say in Sarah’s defense? Sorry, I meant “Beer Pong”. I always get those confused.
MayoPie´s last blog ..My Sister Enjoys Your Children’s Pain
I’m still upset that I didn’t think of the Sarah Palin coloring book. HELLO?! No brainer.
http://www.amazon.com/Going-Rouge-Sarah-Coloring-Activity/dp/0615332773/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266440895&sr=8-1
Love it. I’ve always said that good communication is the most important ingredient in a healthy relationship.
As long as you’ve been repentant since 2000, I can forgive you.
By the way, I’m impressed on how you keep up with republican and democratic news. Reading your blog is like reading “The Economist”, only funnier. I feel better informed as a result.
Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Nana and Papa
Do the meerkats have birth certificates? You know, there’s a huge problem with undocumented meerkats sneaking into America to raid birdfeeders and pitch their own reality shows to the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet and MTV (soon to be MEERKAT TV).
I’m concerned. If you see any meerkats in Texas, send them to Oklahoma wearing Texas A & M t-shirts. That will “solve” the meerkat problem in this country. Oh yeah.
V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios´s last blog ..February doldrums
I for one am very torn by this blog post. Torn because, I am not a big fan of President Obama, but now I learn he is actually a bunch of meerkats….and I love Meerkats. They have their own manor and this really cool exhibit at the zoo which is always surrounded by tortured artists with meerkat covered sketchbooks. I am really torn, y’all. I am not sure what to do. I really love those little rodents(sniff-sniff) and now I may have to turn my back on them. Damn you meerkats. Damn you.
Amy (aka TheMom)´s last blog ..Ice Skating, Sparkles and Bob Costas?
Victor needs to lighten the eff up
singlemomma_cc´s last blog ..If only….
Victor’s no retard.
Didn’t he know when he married you that you were a multi-tasker? Geesh, Victor… duh!
MiddleAgedWomanBlogging´s last blog ..While I’m Getting Ready For The Travel Channel To Find Me….
When i met The Spouse, he had the official portrait of (then) President Reagan and VP Bush (senior) on his wall. I thought he was joking. Turns out he wasn’t. But Iran-Contra broke his heart. He was a Hilary fan in the last election.
P.S. George P Bush (the hottie nephew and son of JEB) stayed with us once for two weeks in Argentina. He really attractive, smart, and sweet as can be (read to my daughter). The Argentines were rather suspicious of him (he is rather dark complected) until they figured out who he was. That was sort of funny.
The Expatresse´s last blog ..I Can’t Get Over How Easy This Is
wait. you live in Texas right? That means you have to think that sparkle sun rays are emitted from Sarah Palin’s eyes and ears.
MODG´s last blog ..Meet the rest of the MODG family. FULL OF LOVE AND SPARKLES AND NO HATE. except a little.
It’s a good thing Sarah Palin wasn’t around my house this weekend. We had a business associate and his wife over for some cocktails and I was talking about the dumbassness that is my dog, just general cocktail conversation and I said, “My dog is a gay retard.” (No offense to anyone, especially my dog, but she is. Facts are facts.) And as soon as those words flew out of my mouth, I remembered they have a Downs Syndrome child and I wished at that moment that a meerkat would have swallowed me whole if that is, in fact, what meerkats do. I have no idea.
joann mannix´s last blog ..A Fox Is A Fox Is A Fox
Who doesn’t yell at cartoons?
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I Haiku. Do you?
Ok..I totally think that comment 27 should get comment of the day. That is pure gold! If you don’t put it up, then I will put it up on my blog and it won’t be related to anything and then I might get taken away in a van driven by men in white coats which is NOT COOL because it is my daughter’s birthday and NO ONE should have mommy committed on their birthday.
melistress´s last blog ..In which I begin to lose my goddamned mind…
I am pretty sure Sarah Palin is not real. No. No, I got that wrong, I just hope it.
Ninja´s last blog ..The hours
Meercats are so dreamy…..
Miss Grace´s last blog ..Diptych – Cold
I’ll be over with Victor watching the Republican News.
Ed Adams´s last blog ..Walmart update.
Meerkats? That’s Madagascar. Republicans clearly need to brush up on their cartoons.
annie´s last blog ..Bacon or Sex?
As soon as they making meerkat Obama cartoons, I will start paying attention to politics
mrsblogalot´s last blog ..The 9 to 5 Lesbian
You are brilliant. That is all I want to say right now.
Fishy´s last blog ..The Evening Class – Winslet Bosom
You know who else seems like a cartoon-yeller? Dr. Phil.
I’m just sayin.
Ells´s last blog ..Face plant
Actually, I can’t believe this !!!
This column is really amazing!!——–it is really quite amazing that Sarah Palin is currently visiting me and we’re enjoying a lovely grilled meerkat.
How did you know . . . you psychic or sumpthin’?
. . .are you watching my house?
WTF ?!??
Meerkats! That’s it! I knew something was going on up there. Oh well. Even a Meerkat is better than Sarah Palin. That chick scares me…
Michelle´s last blog ..Drunken Laughter
I like Sarah Palin, but in a “laugh-at-her” and not a “laugh-with-her” kind of way. I hope she yells at South Park next.
Julie, The Wife´s last blog ..Every Tuesday is Fat Tuesday in My Pants
Oh Jenny, how could you? I’ll try to blame it on Texas… blame it all on Texas…
Bekka´s last blog ..Jewelry
My fave part of the whole “Sarah Palin is offended by ‘retards,’ the word, not the people” is the fact that she completely defended Rush Limbaugh’s repeated use of the word ‘retards.’ And she seemed so completely, girlishly charmed by him, so now all I can do is picture Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh on a date at a soda fountain, flirting and blushing over a shared milkshake and some tongue-in-cheek racist jokes.
Sarah P´s last blog ..Gettin’ Dirty at Church: Freaking Out the Methodists.
Yeah…I like to mess with my hubs too. But usually it is less political and more about what I’m not wearing. It’s mean, but so much more fun than admitting I’m in the same black track suit. Holly:)
I’m jealous of Victor in some ways and yet I feel so very sorry for him (but only on Tuesdays or every third Wednesday). And, I realize in both instances it’s wrong on so many levels.
pssssst…..don’t tell anyone but i heard our president is a black person and Palin has a book out or something.
Fivehead´s last blog ..Explain ‘dem bones, holy homey
my husband doesn’t call me when I am home anymore.
Probably for that reason.
He emails me instead, says ‘How you doin’?’ in the subject line and then nothing else. I let out a rant about washing powder or fucknuckles I met at the supermarket and he NEVER REPLIES!
By then I have it all out of my system and I am a whole lot less crazier when he comes home.
Wait! I think I am being played here… do not let Victor read this comment.
Have you seen today’s Oddly Specific?
http://oddlyspecific.com/2010/02/funny-signs-stabbing-prohibited/
Sharon Rose´s last blog ..Sick of me yet?
First guns, and now you tell me you voted for Bush….curiouser and curiouser.
I still love you.
From,
Your Canadian Friend.
I’ll trade you husbands for a while if you want. Heath can see I’m not the only one like me and Victor can learn that “because it’s Wednesday” is a perfectly acceptable reason for wearing Daisy Dukes and a cowboy hat in the dead of winter.
In all fairness, if I were American I probably would have voted for Bush in the first election, but that was during my “vote for whoever would look better on money” phase and sad as it is, Bush had Gore beat. That was NOT a good looking election.
Robynn´s last blog ..And so, I had Botox…
OMG, Comment 51. I have put my foot in my mouth many, many times, but I think that was the greatest oops of all time. OF ALL TIME.
Is Victor actually paying attention to you at all?! I mean doesn’t he know what kind of conversation he’s going to have BEFORE he calls? What’s with the *sigh*? Maybe he knows, but just like, hopes or something. Seriously, you rock. I was LOL’in in the RL. He should learn to appreciate you keeping him up to date with the news and shit….saves him reading the paper! Now that’s love. x
Mesina´s last blog ..I totally ninja’d this post
“And, for becoming President of the United States of America despite being born a bunch of meerkats, the Nobel Peace prize goes to… Barack Obama”.
Stanley´s last blog ..Cock-a-doodle-do
I can’t wait for the birthday/anniversary/New Year’s/Tuesday when you and all of your commenting fans throw me that surprise party and I get to just roll around in the awesomeness of you all. I think that’s what heaven is like.
If my wife would discuss Family Guy or Sarah Palin, I would probably call her more often. Unfortunately for me, she gets her news and current events from Entertainment Tonight.
Mo´s last blog ..An Open Letter to RDU
I voted for McCain because jackalope trumps meerkat EVERY TIME even if said jackalope has a hairless cat as a running mate. It’s in the cartoon rulebook but they only tell you that shit if you yell at them.
I don’t even know who I am anymore.
moooooog35´s last blog ..How to Clamscape Using the Disney Method
I yell at those damn cartoons in The New Yorker all the damn time. There’s an awful lot of, “BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!” while I’m sitting on the can.
Elly Lou´s last blog ..Enough. With. The. Fucking. Snow.
Victor’s a republican?
Karen´s last blog ..Random Thoughts for Ash Wednesday
Victor is obviously tres jealous. And, like I remind all my friends, guys are stoopid. He probably didn’t understand, or something. He might be retarded? I know my husband is.
Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..The List, Or How To Do Toronto Real Good With Lots And Lots Of Puke and Poop
You know what I love? Blogs I can read.
I can’t read this one any more. Who was it that decided grey, light grey, and even lighter grey would be trendy color schemes for type? I’d like to slap them. A lot.
Bloggess, I love you dearly, but this can’t go on.
Well, now I’m worried. Since we have a 5 year old, I travel with a plastic lizard and a meerkat in the oversized bag of doom, and whip them out to avoid spazziness in public places. Should I alert the Secret Service that I might have part of the POTUS in a grimy handbag? And when we play, “Pretend the lizard killed Hakuna Matata (what my stepdaughter calls him,” is that an act of sedition? And maybe we shouldn’t take the meerkat to Waffle House every weekend- our President deserves finer cuisine once in a while. The implications are making me need a vodka, and it’s only 10:30. Damn meerkats.
If I could ask only one question it would have to be:
Mr President, is that a meerkat in your pants or are you just excited about winning the Nobel prize?
You are probably the first Bush-voting person I am going to declare my undying love for.
p.s. To whoever out there reading this, if you think I may be your daughter-in-law… NO I am really NOT!
submom´s last blog ..Raising Boys
Well *of course* he heard all the Republican news earlier. We send all our news out via telepathy. He gets it downloaded at night while he sleeps. Like those tapes that help you stop smoking – but not like that at all – more like how to kill all the democrats. It’s pretty brilliant if you ask me.
MinivanSoapbox´s last blog ..Stop Punching Me
Two words: Me too.
mommica´s last blog ..Crooked hearts
I just can’t believe you actually admitted that you voted for Bush.
Jane´s last blog ..To Are Or Not To Are – THAT Is The Question
agreed tamela (comment #30). a hero has fallen.
not really….i once voted for harry browne without knowing anything about him other than he would pay anyone $1 million dollars to shoot any dictator and kill them. and he was a libertarian. thought it sounded very forward thinking. altho, i’m not sure it was even true.
what can i say? i just wanted to smoke dope all the time and he was a means to an end.
Oh, my! How did I just stumble on to your blog? Really? Love it!!
well, you could have gotten a voice mail like the ones I usually get:
“Dawn, Dad.”
Which I think means I’m supposed to call him back.
Or the ones from HeMan Hubby:
“Just saying hi.”
Then he doesn’t actually say Hi!
Maybe because neither one of them actually wants to hear what I have to say…
Guess they both know me pretty well too… kinda like Victor knows when NOT to call back:)
Dawn´s last blog ..Life is like a box of chocolates…. and my kids ate all mine! (it’s a competitive thing)
Meerkats. Sweet. I would love it if the White House were filled with meerkats. A Bo-Meerkat photo op would be the best. Meerkats could charge little children at the Easter Egg Roll. That would be so great…
Rebekah´s last blog ..Surrender is Not an Option. Or is it?
i can’t think of a clever comment so i’m just not going to leave one.
melissa´s last blog ..My Son, His Dad And Nightmares Released
My husband would have hung up on me and defintely not called back!
Sadie at heyMamas
Sadie at heyMamas´s last blog ..Snowmen, snow day part deux
Hey There…Im following from Tiffany…..looking forward to reading more…I also love hanging up on the hubs..it makes me feel better and keeps him on his toes….
Dude Sarah Palin totally ruined my catch phrase, i used to say “You Betcha” all the time…..
Wait no that wasen’t me that was some crazy lady in Alaska.
mountainmomma18´s last blog ..With a wimper and a bang….
I want in on your brain too!
angelica´s last blog ..What the Internet is doing to your brain
You know what! If the “President” doesn’t want us to think he’s a “Meerkat” then he needs to provide proof of species.
If he’s human, whats the big deal?
Houston´s last blog ..More Evil Things Bush Has Done #1
This just in: The actress who played the cartoon character has Down’s too. And says that Sarah Palin has no sense of humor.
That is far better than any snatchy retort I could come up with.
Just gotta say that it’s not really a “Republican” thing to be a so-called “birther” – it’s a wacko-nut-job thing. Yes, I realize you are just being funny and you’re not trying to get into some kind of political debate – neither am I. Trust me!
You should probably have some sort of warning on your blog that it is not the best idea to read it in a quiet waiting room. By the time they called me back, I had tears running down my face from holding my laughter in. Did you know silent laughing makes you cry? Weird. Anyway, they were all being super nice to me, like “oh, poor crazy girl that was crying in the waiting room”. I didn’t want to spoil it and tell them I wasn’t actually, like, sad. So I told them my dog died. I don’t even have a dog! Now I’m a crazy, dogless liar. Thaks for that.
Rachel´s last blog ..Things I am thinking about right now.
Well obviously he didn’t want to hear the “republican news” because there isn’t any. Just made up shit.
So nice to see/hear/read whateverthefuck you get political.
I donated by the way, and I love pimping for my blog, but that’s not why I did it. Hence. I’m telling you here.
Meerkat.
Well Read Hostess´s last blog ..My Home and Native Land