Second Annual Booksgiving!

Hello and welcome to the second annual Booksgiving Day!  What is “Booksgiving Day?”  It’s day to celebrate the joy of reading and giving and llamas, but without any actual llamas unless you’ve brought your own.

Basically, last February I wanted to thank you guys for all of your support by giving out 30 copies of Furiously Happy, which I did, but then everyone else was like, “I WANT TO GIVE BOOKS TO PEOPLE TOO” so we set up a day where you could ask for one book from a stranger using an Amazon wishlist and if someone wanted to give it to you they would.  And they did.  Some people asked for a book for their child.  Some asked for a book to escape life for a bit.  Some asked just to have a reminder that they exist and matter, and then they went back in and bought a book for someone else.  And people found friends (and really good book recommendations) by looking at the particular book that each person really wanted.  And it was lovely.

So today we’re doing it again and if you want to ask for a book (or give a book) the details are all here.  I’m giving out 30 of my own books for those of you who are part of the community but haven’t been able to buy one, but you can pick any book at all and leave it in the comments and I’ll probably give out others once I hit my 30.  Furiously Happy is out in paperback today, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is still in print and YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds comes out in a few weeks (tour info coming soon!) so those are the 30 books I’m giving out first.

bookplateforfuriouslyhappy

Here are the rules:

  1.  If you’re in a rough place and need a book to transport you somewhere else make A BRAND NEW wish list with nothing on it but the book you want.  (Exception: If you have a kid who needs a book you can add that too.)
  2. Here’s how you make a wish list:  Under “Accounts and Lists” on the right, top side of Amazon select “Create a list”.  Choose “Wish list” and name it something like “The book I really need right now” and choose “Public”.  Then click “Create list”.  Now add a book to your list by going to the book and clicking the “add to list” button on the bottom right of that page.  Make sure you assign it to the new wishlist.  Now here’s the most important thing that everyone forgets to do.  You have to assign a shipping address to that specific wish list or it won’t go to you.  EVERY new wishlist has to be assigned an address or you won’t get your stuff.  So click on your wish list and click on “public” and it’ll take you to “List settings”.  Click “view details” and where it says “shipping address” add yours.  (Your city will be shown to others, but not your full address.)  Then save changes.  Now leave a comment with a link to your wish list.  Click here for my sample wish list so you’ll know what one looks like.  I have about 20 books listed on it for inspiration if you don’t know exactly what you want.  In your comment say which book you want in case someone specifically wants to buy you that book.  Also, if you’re not in America put that in the comment so we can match people better by location and not have crazy shipping fees.   Feel happy.
  3. Here’s how you buy a book for a stranger.  Click on their link.  Choose a book.  Select their name so it goes to their address.  If it doesn’t give you the option of picking their name it means they didn’t add a shipping address so delete what’s in your cart and go to the next person.  Send a story to someone in need.  Feel happy.

The only rule is that this is just for books.  No gift cards or clothes or anything else because it gets out of hand really quickly.  Just a simple book to take you away from the world and help you find new ones.

And as always, thank you.  Thank you for supporting my words and listening and passing them on to others.  I’m in the middle of writing book 4 right now and you’re giving me strength to keep writing even when I doubt myself.  I owe you one.  Or 30.

UPDATED: Here are screen shots of what you should see while making a wishlist and add a shipping destination because it’s less complicated if you have pictures to walk you through:

Create a list under “Your lists”.

 

Make it a wish list, name it and make it public.

Screen Shot 2016-02-02 at 1.40.30 PM

After you click “create list” click on the “public” button below:

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Click “view details” to add your shipping address to this wish list:

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Choose a shipping address and save changes.

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Now you’re ready to add something to your list.  Pick a book and choose the “add to list” button on bottom right side:

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If you have another wish list set as your default (like I always do) then you’ll need to click “move to another list.”

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Just click the list you’re going to share here.

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Now go to the wish list and copy the link and then paste it into the comments.  Done!  There might be a better way of doing it but that’s how I do it.

PS.  If you click on a wish list that says it’s empty that’s because the book has already been bought for them.  🙂  That is a very good thing.

PPS.  I love you guys.  Now I’m off to buy books.

LOOK WHAT JUST CAME IN THE MAIL.

So, last week I asked my editor if I could get the paperback version of Furiously Happy so I could see what the new cover is going to look like and they were all, “No problem” but when I got the package I was like, “Well, this is a very small book” but that’s because it was literally just the cover, which was ridiculous but also sort of cool because I’ve never seen what a cover looks like before it’s been wrapped around a paperback book and now I know.

It looks like this:

The front

The front

The inside

The inside

But then today I went through the mail and this was in it!

3

It’s very thick, I assure you.

YAY!  It comes out day after tomorrow.  A few places you can get it:

Leave a comment if you want one and I’ll give away a few as a preview to Booksgiving, which we’re going to do in a few days.  More to come, y’all.

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And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!

bloggess sid

 

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

 

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Am I broken?

 

So yesterday I read about someone “twiddling their thumbs” and I wondered what that would look like so I did what I imagine that is but it looked ridiculous and so instead I decided to twiddle my other fingers and that’s when I realized that my hand is broken.

Not the whole hand, but my ring fingers.  When I put my hands together like I’m praying I can move all of my fingers except my ring fingers which are totally glued together by witchcraft.  I thought maybe everyone was like that but then I asked Victor and Hailey and they could both move their ring fingers and now I don’t know if they’re very gifted or I’m super broken so I’m asking you, internets.

PS.  This is hard to explain so let me see if I can get a video.

Here:

I needed a video to demonstrate. Rolly: I'M HELPING.

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

Is it just me?

UPDATED!  Okay, several of you sent me tricks to help and one of them actually worked!  See below.  And then stopped working.  And now I’m just as confused as before.

There's a trick!

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

Updated:  If you’re not following me on twitter you are seriously missing out on the magic of weird body parts.  Click here for the storify.

WTF, Google?

So, I need to attach something to a tree but I thought that a nail might do damage to the tree so I went to the internet to see if they had any ideas and I was like, “Can I glue something to-” and Google was like “LET ME JUST STOP YOU THERE.  YOU WANT TO STICK SOMETHING IN YOUR URETHRA, RIGHT?”  And I was all, “Jesus, Google.  WTF.”  Because first of all, ow.  And secondly, no.  And third, WHY ARE YOU AUTO-SUGGESTING THAT?

No, seriously:

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This is not help, Google. This is a recipe for infection.

And then I was like, “You know what?  I’m just going to ignore this.”  And so I kept writing “Can I glue something to a tre-” and at this point you’d think it would autosuggest “tree”, right?  Because I’m doing all I can here.  But no.

screen-shot-2017-01-31-at-3-56-35-pm

me: “Can I glue something to a tre-” Google: “IS IT A T-REX?  YOU NEED TO GLUE SOMETHING TO A T-REX, RIGHT?  I’M HELPING!”

Are that many people sticking things up their urethra and gluing things to dinosaurs that google now thinks these are the most popular options?  All  I wanted to do was hang up a birdhouse like a goddam normal person and now I feel like I’ve stumbled onto an entire subculture that I never knew existed.

Thanks Google.  I feel very informed.  Too much so.  And also, I still don’t know how to attach something to a tree.


I am mostly sausage

Someone in the comments just responded with “Oh Jenny, you sausage” and this is now my favorite term of endearment because it makes me laugh and also, I am mostly sausage.  And so are you.  Even if you’re vegan. Because sausage is made of ground up meat parts and organs and bones and intestines and things better left unmentioned and I’m made of all of that too.  Except I’m not ground up yet.  Although one day when I’m cremated I will be ground up so technically I think that means I’m future sausage.  Or will be future sausage?  I’m not sure which tense to use when it comes to sausage of the future.

I tried to explain all of this to Victor and he just stared at me like I was crazy so I explained how sausage is made and apparently he didn’t want to hear it but I’m a sharer and what I have to share is knowledge, Victor.  And sausage.  If I have any.  And we used to have freezers full of it because my grandparents made piles of it once a year and I honestly thought that everyone’s grandparents ground up gross crap and stuffed it into intestine skins on their kitchen table but apparently it’s just a bohemian thing?  But then Victor made me doubt that it had ever happened at all so I googled it and google was like, “You are totally right.  As usual.  Also, can we interest you in some edible collagen or some natural beef bung?”  And no, google, you can’t.  Stop it.  We were cool and you made it weird.

screen-shot-2017-01-24-at-10-24-19-pm

No, really. I’m full.

Aaaanyway, I guess that’s why people always say “you don’t want to watch the sausage being made” because if I’m sausage that means you’d be watching me being made, which I think would mean watching me being conceived and no one needs that.  I forgot where I was going with this but that’s to be expected because, hello? I’m mostly made of sausage.

*******

And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!

bloggess sid

 

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

  • Ballerina Death Squad.  It’s a long story.  No death or ballerinas involved.  Look at the page for the explanation.  You’re in if you want to be.

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Nurturea small woman-owned business. (The small woman is Annie.) The Nurture body care line is plant based, and everything is scented only with essential oils. While Nurture believes in the psychological benefits of essential oils, we don’t claim our products will cure cancer. Well, since a portion of sales of It’ll Be OK Calm Balm benefit St. Baldrick’s Foundation, and they fund pediatric cancer research, maybe that one. One can hope.

Nurture yourself. Nurture others. Be Kind. And read the instructions – they’re usually good for a laugh.

You need this.

You know when you have something you’re really excited about but you don’t want to say it out loud because what if it goes away and then everyone is disappointed in you because you fucked it all up?  But you still want to be like, RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING IS GOOD AND MY BROKEN BRAIN IS COOPERATING AND I’M MAKING THIS THING THAT HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE ALL OF A SUDDEN AND KEPT ME UP WORKING UNTIL 3AM AND I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU BUT AAAAHHHHHH!  That.  That is me today.  So I’m vague-posting and I fucking hate it when people do that, but know that I’m just doing it because I really want to share with you but I’m afraid if I say it out loud my brain will get constipated again.  I’ll give you a hint though:

Fiction.

‘Nuff said.

PS. Since this isn’t a real post I’m going to  share with you two things I saw today that made me laugh.

One old.  One new.  Both ridiculous.

Gotta go get back to work.

Independent Bookstore Day is coming!

Do you know about Independent Bookstore Day?  Because you should.  It’s a great way to support your local Indie shop and I’ll be there.  Well, sort of.

Every year, participating independent book stores encourage readers to come in for IBD and they offer kick-ass things that you can’t get anywhere else.  I’ve seen what’s coming this year and it’s bad-ass and I am incredibly proud to be included in the celebration.

I drew this specifically for Indie Bookstore Day and the only place it will be sold is at independent book stores on Saturday, April 29th.

youarehere-ibd

It’ll be printed on archival matte paper and it’s 16X20 and (just like with any of my drawings) you can either color it or leave it black and white.  There will be only 2,500 available and they’re all personally signed by me.  It’s not in my new book, YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual For Dangerous Minds, so it’s exclusive to indie bookstores.  They’re first-come-first served so call your local indie store to see if they’ll be carrying it.  I realize that many of you are like me, in that I would rather eat a bag of glass than make a phone call or leave the house, but there is a special exception to this because bookstores are safe, magical places full of sanctuary and escape.  They’re like church, but with less eating Jesus.

I’m not sure if I even make anything from the sale of the prints but anything I get I’ll use to buy books for people in this community because I know not everyone can easily afford them and books are the best medicine that exists in the world.  THE END.

Wait…not the end.  I forgot the details.  You can only get them in person at independent bookstores in America on the day of IBD but if there are any left the next day they might be available to buy online or over the phone.  I’ll remind you of all of this stuff again later because you’re probably as forgetful as I am.

I hope you like it.  I hope you like the book.  I hope I’m good enough for you.

Inhuman is the new pretty.

There’s this new camera app called meitu that everyone on the internet is using because it takes your picture and turns it into a sort of glossy, anime version of yourself.

meitu-bloggess

Edited to add:  Looks like there are some privacy concerns about the app so be careful out there,  okay?

*******

And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!

bloggess sid

 

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Deb Newmyer’s Moms for Hire, a stylish, eight-step guidebook for moms who want to kick their careers back into gear and amp up their professional mojo.  41% of moms choose to stay at home for significant amounts of time after having children and for many moms this is the most rewarding and important work of their lives. But what happens when kids are older, need less attention, and mom decides to go back to work?
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This week is hard, y’all.

Hey.  This week is full of angst and anxiety for a lot of us but I just want to tell you what I want to hear myself: It’s going to be okay.  Whether you are protesting in the street or hiding in bed or trying to be positive or you’re confused or scared or angry…it’s going to be okay.

We’re going to be okay.  It might take work but work is being done.  In small ways and large ways and quiet ways you may never know about.

This week is full of scary shit and much smarter people than me have written more eloquently about it so instead I’m just going to share a few silly things that I think are pertinent.

First, know that it’s okay to not be okay:

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People love you and want to offer comfort.  Sometimes we’re just really, really bad at it.

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But the thought is there, even if it’s scary to reach out.

raw-4

Know that even when it’s overwhelming you aren’t alone.

200w_d

You are loved.

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And bunnies still exist.

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And cats.

raw-8

And cake.

tenor

We’re going to be okay.

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Get in here.

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And if you still feel scared, watch this:

raw-1

Keep breathing.

Google knows me better than I know myself.

Last time I googled “Jenny Lawson likes” google auto-suggested “to fart for you” but those auto-suggestions change every few weeks based on what people are searching for so I thought I’d check to see what Google is thinking about me at the moment.

I thought I’d check “Jenny Lawson was” but before I even finished google gave me this:

f

JENNY LAWSON WASTELAND.  I’m not sure if this is a place or an insult.

d

Wow.  Straight to the lady garden.

c

Aw.  Apparently Google knows me after all.

PS.  Hang on. I just remembered that last time I didn’t use my last name.  Let’s try it again:

d

Well at least I’m consistent.