Tomorrow is Independent Bookstore Day and I’m pretty sure that should be a national holiday.

So! Tomorrow (Saturday) is Independent Bookstore Day and that means lots of bookstores all over America will be giving out free Broken Oracle Decks (inspired by Broken and illustrated by Katie Gamb).

Here’s a map of participating indie book stores. They each have their own sort of celebration and have lots of different offerings and many are offering virtual experiences and things because a lot of us can’t leave the house. It can be hard as hell to be a bookstore, and the pandemic made it even weirder, so thank you a million times for any support you’re able to give them.

Can’t leave your house or don’t have a participating bookstore nearby? Click here for a virtual deck you can use right now. (Thank you to my publisher for making this possible.)

Nowhere Bookshop still hasn’t technically opened it’s doors but we’re getting closer and on Saturday we’re going to have a sidewalk sale and give out Broken decks to the first customers and we’ll have some lovely surprises and it will be the closest we’ve ever gotten to seeing customers (unless you count waving to them and their dogs through the glass when they pick up curbside orders, which we totally do.) I can’t personally mingle too much since not everyone in my house is fully vaccinated but I plan to sneak in for a bit and if you see a strange women waving wildly through the glass it is totally me. And for those of you outside of San Antonio or who support us virtually we have some wonderful free Nowhere giveaways just for you if you shop from us online tomorrow (including the possibility of oracle cards dropped into your orders!) so just click here for all the details. And if you haven’t picked up your copy of Broken (in the best possible way) or want to buy some as gifts I’ve just signed a whole bunch at Nowhere and also drawn little kitty faces on them because I like to doodle and am easily distracted.

Wednesday was my last official day on virtual book tour and I can’t thank you enough for your support because it was amazing and also Broken is #8 on the NYT bestseller list! Whoop! I know that a bunch of you weren’t able to get tickets so sometime in the next month (when I recover a little) I’ll do a free, live virtual tour stop for everyone who couldn’t get in or who came to one before and wants to hang out again. It’ll probably be live on my instagram since zoom has limits on how many people can come. I’ll keep you posted.

And now if you’ll excuse me, the glamorous work of catching up on four weeks of laundry is calling to me. And by “calling to me” I mean “I can’t walk though the kitchen without tripping over it and the cats keep climbing it like Mt. Everest and then ending up under the ensuing laundry avalanche and also why am I the only person in the house that can see it?”

It’s going to be okay.

First of all, a reminder that I’m doing my last virtual book tour stop with Christopher Moore tonight, which should be lots of fun and more than slightly ridiculous.

And secondly, OMG, I got a deck of the Broken Oracle Cards and they make me so happy.

You can look here to find participating indie bookstores but keep in mind that some are only open online and all might have different things that they’re giving away or doing to celebrate. Nowhere Bookshop will have a bunch (and also other fun gifts!) so just follow us on instagram to find out how we’re going to give them all away.

And I have an extra deck right now so if you want it just let me know in the comments and I’ll drop it in the mail on Saturday.

Thank you for supporting independent bookshops, everyone!

Well that was unexpected

So a few days ago I found out that Broken debuted at #3 on the NYT bestseller list, which was a total shock because a TON of great books came out the same week as mine and I’m not really doing a lot of publicity stuff because I’m afraid of people and my entire book tour has taken place inside my house in my pajamas. And I was going to write about it but then I started having panic attacks and it seems weird to have panic attacks after being relieved about something you’ve been worried about but technically that’s how my panic attacks often work. They wait until I feel safe enough and then they pounce, which is always unsettling, especially because a panic attack without any direct cause feels very much like a heart attack and then you panic about dying and then you take some xanax and realize it’s just your brain fucking with you. But then you deal with the exhaustion that comes after a panic attack and you don’t have energy to do things that you want to do and then you recognize (once again) that your weirdo brain is in charge and that sometimes you have to just go with it even when it’s fucking crazy.

So all that to say that BROKEN IS A BESTSELLER AND I’M SO HAPPY AND I OWE YOU A MILLION THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND I’M SORRY I’M WRITING THIS DAYS LATER BUT MY BRAIN IS AN ASSHOLE.

In better news, it’s been 24 hours since the last of my cycling panic attacks and (fingers crossed) I think my brain has finally worked out all of the nervous energy it’s been saving up. That seems like a weird thing to celebrate but weird is what I do best, so I guess it works.

This Wednesday is the last stop of my virtual book tour and there are still a few tickets left if you want to join me and Christopher Moore as we talk about taxidermy and humor and the importance of embracing your weirdness. It’s hosted by Books Inc, and you can get tickets right here.

I’ve been sharing some of the lovely images that Katie Gamb created for the tiny Broken Oracle Deck and today’s is a personal favorite that works whether you’ve read the book or not.

For real, thank you. Thank you for listening to me and supporting me and for reading my books and sending them to others who need them and for laughing out loud as you read them on the train because it is sort of incredible the number of people who find me because they saw someone else trying to choke down laughter or tears while holding one of my books. Thank you for seeing something in me that I don’t always see in myself. Thank you for everything.

Hello, Canada!

So tonight I’m in Canada with the amazing Samantha Irby but also we’re really hiding in our houses because this tour is virtual and we are home-bodies. It looks like tickets with a signed copy of the book are sold out for tonight, but tickets with an unsigned copy are still available if you want to hang out with us.

In lightly related news, want to see another Broken Oracle deck card (painted by Katie Gamb)?

It’s Squeaker (missing the end of his tail) eating a cherry starburst and I realize this doesn’t make a lot of sense to people who haven’t read the book yet but I assure you it will make sense when you do. Probably.

PS. Last night Judy Blume told me that Broken is number 4 on the Indie Bestseller List and then I may have gotten a bit overwhelmed and started rambling about merkins. That happened only hours after this:

A woman and her toddler sort of stared at me because I guess it’s weird to see a lady crying alone in Target while recording ads on her phone but then I was like, “THAT WAS ME” and the lady looked confused but her kid was like, “Yay!” and then I ran away because I was overwhelmed and that was the adventure of “the first time I’ve been in Target in over a year” and also “the first time I’ve ever left Target without buying anything”.

This whole week had been surreal and I can’t get my head around it. AND Victor and I are now fully vaccinated and Hailey has had her first shot and my parents are vaccinated and that means we might actually be able to see them in real life one day soon.

Feeling very grateful right now.

Thank you.

How is this real life?

So I’m halfway through with my virtual book tour and it’s been so fantastic that I don’t think I can ever go back to the old ways of traveling on planes and wearing clothes than aren’t pajamas.

Last week I got to spend time with Luvvie Ajayi Jones and Neil Gaiman and Felicia Day.

Tonight I’m hanging out with Judy Blume. WTF. And tomorrow Samantha Irby and next week Christopher Moore. INSANE.

A few of the events sold out but then they added more spots so if you thought you missed out earlier you can check again right here.

And in related news…want to see another Broken Oracle card? This is one of my very favorites.

Katie Gamb nailed it, y’all.

Peppa Pig is kind of a bitch, y’all

Since we’re still stuck in the plague years we’ve started doing a lot of virtual escape rooms and murder mystery boxes and recently I bought Hailey, Victor and I all copies of this book that’s filled with trivia and brain teasers and when we’re bored we pull them out and see who can do each page faster. Last night Hailey and I were doing a few pages together and she was complaining that all the questions were made for old people but then we finally hit this one that I didn’t know the answer to (identifying famous quotes):

And Hailey was like, “OMG, finally one I knew that you didn’t. It’s Peppa Pig.” And then I never stopped laughing and she was like, “FOR REAL, DUDE. Hang on.” And then she pulled up the internet and showed me this:

Ten points for House Hailey.

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