The Bloggess

A few weeks ago I was in California and I still have to write about it but I haven’t yet because I came back and fell into a depression followed by the flu (GO GET YOUR FLU SHOT). But when I was in California my friend Jenny sent me a dm to see if I wanted her to give me an insider hookup since she’d worked in Monterey for a decade. And I didn’t see that message at all because I suck at checking messages and then a week later I saw it and responded, “I am literally just seeing this now. Jesus. wtf, me?” and I expected to her to say, “Well, my friend, you suck, obviously.” But she didn’t because turns out she’d just gone into hospice for the cancer she’s been fighting. But Jenny is a bad-ass who has been fighting cancer for 8 years. She almost died three times last year and always came back like a fucking champ so I sent her another message telling her how much I love her.

Sent. Not read.

And today she is gone.

I took this picture of her 16 years ago at a Blogher Convention. That was the night we discovered Chambord and we poured it into every drink we had. We called it “Unicorn Period” because it seemed magical and also because the name made others queasy and so no one asked us to share it. Jenny was the kind of person who would give you the shirt off her back, but mostly to show you the enormous Wear the Wild Things Are tattoo across her entire back. She sent me a Christmas card with her beautiful family on it every year (including this one) even though she knew that I never sent cards or even had the energy to put up a tree some years. Some people would really hate a memorium like this, filled with tattoos and hoarded unicorn menstruation, but not Jenny. And that’s why I loved her and why I will miss her and why I will forever wish that I’d told her all this earlier…even though I know that she knew it.

But maybe you are reading here and you don’t know it, so I will tell you now. I love you. If I have met you in real life, I love you. If we were close but then drifted a little because I’m afraid to leave the house or use the phone, I love you. If we’ve never met but you are here, I love you. If I blocked you on facebook because you wrote some crazy-ass shit, I love you. If you’re reading this, I love you.

I’m sorry. I should have said it sooner.

*********

If you want to support Jenny’s family this is the best place to do it.

I was sending an email when a little magic wand popped up that said “Polish” and I thought that was weird because why would I want to translate my email into Polish?

I tried to click on it to make it go away but instead it changed the entire email because apparently it was saying that it needed to “polish” my email because I guess I’m too unsophisticated to use words:

There is no way in hell anyone who knows me would get that email and not think I’d been abducted so I deleted the suggested rewrite and updated my email:

But after I added the update gmail was like, “YOU’RE STILL DOING IT WRONG, IDIOT?” and the polish thing came up again and I was like, “Are you trying to AI fix a paragraph where I say how much I don’t want AI to fix shit?” And turns out, yeah, that exactly what it meant because it gave me this:

Jesus. Y’all, if you get an email from me it will be signed with HUGS, LOVE, FIGHT THE PATRIARCHY, DOWN WITH POWDERED GRAVY or SORRY I SUCK SO MUCH. It will be filled with typos and rambling parentheticals and apologies for answering several months too late. This is how you know it’s me and not a robot. My only hope is that my constant declining of the suggestions will make the AI learn from me and spread my terrible etiquette throughout the world.

Also, I just realized when I tried to insert these pictures into this blog about how much I hate AI my blog was suddenly like, “HEY I KNOW YOU JUST CLICKED A BUTTOM SAYING YOU WANT TO ADD A SPECIFIC PICTURE BUT HOW ABOUT WE JUST MAKE AI IMAGES FOR YOU INSTEAD?” AM I ON CANDID CAMERA? It’s like my whole computer is a toddler screaming “LET ME DO IT!” every time I try to create something.

And as much as I hate AI, I had to see what the program thought it could do so much better than me so I gave it the prompt “please stop giving me AI” and…all apologies. Clearly I did need help because…fucking wow. Nailed it:

Anyway…this sucks.

Worst regards,

Jenny

Every so often I write something on my newsletter about art that I think you might want to read even if art is not for you. Today may be one of those so I’m sharing it here just in case:

It’s a hard time to be an empath out here, y’all. 

I suspect many of you are also feeling too much of the darkness of the world, which can be especially dangerous for those who already stand too close to the edge of the abyss. It can be easy to burn with anger at hypocrisy and hate and chaos, but here is what I have learned…and what I keep telling myself:

You can use that heat as fuel to create change, to promote kindness, to protect yourself and those who are most vulnerable…to keep you warm when the world seems too cold. But, that burning anger can also be dangerous. It can exhaust you. It can pull the oxygen from the room. It can cause you to lash out in fear at those who want to help. The smoke obscures how much good and joy is out there. And those who thrive on turmoil and hate are so happy to see you lost in it…to see your precious energy drained putting out the fires they scatter about just to keep you too busy to live.

Don’t let the world burn you to ashes. 

Protecting your fragile heart can be an act of rebellion. Don’t be afraid to love and laugh and find joy and silliness even in the hard times. 

Especially in the hard times. 

Don’t underestimate the beautiful works of love and kindness and help that you put out into the world. You may do them loudly or you may do them quietly, but they are invaluable in ways you may never see.

Today’s doodle is inspired by one of my favorite Czech artists, Alphonse Mucha, who came from the same land that my father’s family immigrated from.

“NOT. GIVING. UP.”

Most people know Mucha from his flowy art-nouveau posters and cigarette ads but my favorites of his came at the end of his life, when he used his art to explore both the pain and the beauty of life. This one, Woman With a Burning Candle, stays with me:

It was painted during the rise of Nazism…a slavic woman tending to a candle…keeping the light in the dark going, but watching as it slowly burns down…unsure as to what would come next but still focused on the glowing illumination. He painted about enlightenment, love and knowledge in a time when all that seemed to be threatened and was an act of revolution. The day after Prague was stormed by Nazi’s, Mucha was arrested and while in custody he contracted the pneumonia that would kill him. He never lived to see the victory over the darkness, but even in that darkness and uncertainty he created light that we can still see today. He still found beauty and joy. He found a way to celebrate life and enlightenment and humanity in his own way. 

He didn’t give up. 

I’m not going to either.

I super-crazy love you.

~ Jenny

PS. If you ever want to feel bad about your doodles you should follow one up with a painting by an actual master because…wow. Lesson learned.

(Sorry I’ve been MIA. This week has been really hard. Sending love to anyone struggling.)

Last week we got a letter from our HOA chiding us that our Halloween decorations should have been removed in November, and that we would be fined if we didn’t remedy the 12-foot skeleton on our porch by today.

So we reluctantly got out the ladder and did the hard thing.

Although probably not the hard thing that they expected.

PS. Originally we hung two of the pink circles on Bone Crawford’s chest, but from a distance they looked like nipples with enormous areolas. I thought it was fine and very body positive but Victor wasn’t as convinced so I removed one and now I’m second-guessing my capitulation because if the HOA was still furious then I could generously offer to remove the nipples to meet in the middle of “appropriateness” but I can’t convince Victor to bring the ladder back out just so we could add negotiating nipples to the 12 foot skeleton on the porch. These are the arguments you never expect to have when you get married.

Last week I shared my list of books I read in 2024 and someone asked me my favorite, which I can’t do because that’s like picking my favorite child. Except harder because I only have one child. But if you see it here on this video, I liked it. I don’t review books I don’t like.

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A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess)

What were your favorite books of last year?

And speaking of books…so many amazing books coming out this year and my January bookclub picks are a fun way to start. (AND WELCOME TO ALL THE NEW MEMBERS OF MY BOOK CLUBS! WHOOP!)

If you’re a member of the Fantastic Strangelings Book Club I’m sending you…

Water Moon by Samantha Sotto Yambao. It’s like a Studio Ghibli movie came to life inside my damn head.

A quick taste: A woman inherits a pawnshop where you can sell your regrets, and then embarks on a magical quest when a charming young physicist wanders into the shop, in this dreamlike fantasy novel set in Tokyo. Cozy, dark escapism and fantastic world-building. So good.

And if your tastes lie in darker territories and you have decided to join the Nightmares from Nowhere Book Club then you are getting…

Our Winter Monster by Dennis A. Mahoney. It’s a chilling (literally) horror tale about a troubled couple running from their problems straight into the maw of a terrifying beast. Strange psychological suspense that will haunt you.

And if you need more than one book to keep you busy, here are some other January releases I loved:

Witchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady Hendrix – Mix a home for pregnant wayward girls in 1970 with an occult book about witchcraft and see what happens. FABULOUS BOOK. (This is where I would promote his live event with us but the tickets sold out almost immediately because he’s amazing.)

Tartufo by Kira Jane Buxton – author of Hollow Kingdom returns with another fantastical and funny story featuring a cast of colorful characters in a dying Italian village and a giant truffle that changes their fate forever. So freaking charming.

We Do Not Part by Han Kang – Tells the story of a friendship between two women while powerfully reckoning with a hidden chapter of Korean history. Poignant, suspenseful, traumatic. Couldn’t put it down.

Dirtbag Queen by Andy Corren – Hilarious, heartbreaking, unhinged. This book is weird af and is everything you want in a memoir. I liked it so much I blurbed it.

Wake Up and Open Your Eyes by Clay McLeod Chapman – What happens when extreme right-wing news turns your family into literal zombies?

Old Soul by Susan Barker – The woman never goes by the same name. She never stays in the same place too long. She never ages. She never dies. But those around her do. 

The Sinners All Bow: Two Authors, One Murder and the Real Hester Prynne by Kate Winkler Dawson –  the chilling true story of a young woman whose scandalous life was rumored to be Nathaniel Hawthorne’s inspiration for The Scarlet Letter—and whose shocking death inspired the first true-crime book published in America.  Kate will be at the store Feb 8th where I’ll be talking to her about the book. Come join us!

Happy reading!

A few decades ago I met my husband in a bookstore where he picked me up by convincing me to go to his dorm room to lend me the books I was looking at so I didn’t have to buy them.

Over a decade ago I started writing strange books about our lives that somehow became bestsellers.

5 years ago we opened a sweet indie bookstore called Nowhere Bookshop. Victor and I considered adding our footprints in front of the witchy section because that’s where our story started, but we didn’t because we move the shelves too much. But they are there in spirit.

5 years ago Vicky became one of our very first Nowhere team members, and is now our amazing events coordinator. And then later Emily joined Nowhere and eventually became our fantastic bar manager. And sometime after meeting at Nowhere, they fell in love.

This week we closed the store a little early so that Vicky and Emily could get married right here at Nowhere, in front of friends and family (and a gorgeous backdrop they made out of wooden pallets, books and fairy lights).

These are the stories I hold close to my heart as we move into a new year.

Sending love to the happy couple and to everyone reading this.

The story never ends.