Random threats of violence and other stuff

The gorgeous Lady M sent me a link to this purse


…which looks like a sewer cover so that if you drop it it will blend in with the ground and no thieves will notice it.  Which is awesome, especially if you’re going for that sexy, just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-grabbed-your-sewer-cover look.  I’m buying one because there’s a running joke around my office that I always accidentally leave my purse all over our department because I subconsciously want it to get stolen  So if I use this purse it’ll just look like it’s a normal old manhole cover.  On the floor of our office.  Which happens to be on the 18th floor.  No one will suspect a thing.



I got awarded the Schmooze award recently, once by the luscious Kyla and once by the entirely lickable Mayberry Mom, which is both awesome and puzzling.    Apparently the Schmooze Award recognizes people who “get around all over the blogosphere”.  Which is pretty much just a nice way of saying that I’m a great big slut.  So, um…thank you?

I usually don’t pass these awards on because I’m very lazy, but miss the opportunity to call people sluts?  I don’t think so.  Marmite Breath, Willowtree, Harry Von Hufflepuff, Julie, Jeff, Ed T. and Bossy?  Congratulations!  Y’all are all gigantic whores. 


Also, just so you know I’m serious about yesterday’s post:


Brought to you by The Council To Stop Blog Suicide By Threatening To De-Toe My Cat.

28 thoughts on “Random threats of violence and other stuff

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Ewww…count me in for the bag! Out here in the country, no one will notice either. Don’t gravel roads have manhole covers too?

    Department, office? And no workspace. Now I am suspicious ;0(

    Two words, poor cat.

  2. What else did you say? Something about you got an award for being a Ho?

    I can’t read for the tears rolling out of my eyes as I laugh hysterically at the look of sad “rescue me, please” resignation your cat is sending out whilst wearing blue daisy flip flops.

    Using My Words

  3. The purse is beyond words. I can totally see you toting that thing around. You’ll fit right in with the PTA crowd.

    Love the flip flops!!!

  4. Dude. How did you get your cat to sit still for that?

    That purse. Yeah, no one would suspect. Plus, if you were planning to, you know, actually put anything in it, a lumpy man hole cover might be a bit suspicious. Just a bit.

  5. Ok, do you remember that movie C.H.U.D: Cannabalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers?

    Because I’m really scared now that they can accessorize.

  6. You know, to this day, whenever I hear people talk about HUD housing I think of those CHUD cannibals. It’s a frightening association.

    PS. Posey has either 10 or 20 toes, depending on your definition of “toes”.

  7. Dude, don’t threaten Posey! He is a sweetie and if he loses any toes, I’ll just have to come get him…..poorest Posey…..

  8. OH yeah – that purse is really realistic – particularly once you have all your crap in it. Never seen a bulging sewer cover before.

    And I just have to say – putting flipflops on your cat is much more sadistic than a Wendy’s hair wig.

  9. Great purse…what kind of shmoes do you work with? Why would you subconsciously want your purse stolen?

    And back away from the toes…thanks for the laughs.

  10. In light of my temporary inability to muster up any sort of diplomacy, I’m even more honored to receive an award for schmoozing.

    And to think I was considering quitting blogging…

  11. Posey… listen up toots…these threats of toe removal, they’re no good for the family rep. But I’ve got some inside stuff on the braud – she hates the squid. You want me to drop her a “message” on her pillow tonight? Meet me by the docks at midnight and we’ll talk business…


  12. Toes are yucky, anyhow. But I love the expression on her face.

    I have seen doormats that look like manhole covers, which I was awafully tempted by…

  13. So, she who made this photo

    is calling me a blog ho? And a GIGANTIC one at that!?

    Of course, I can think of another use for that manhole cover, looking at aforementioned photo…



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