The gorgeous Lady M sent me a link to this purse…
…which looks like a sewer cover so that if you drop it it will blend in with the ground and no thieves will notice it. Which is awesome, especially if you’re going for that sexy, just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-grabbed-your-sewer-cover look. I’m buying one because there’s a running joke around my office that I always accidentally leave my purse all over our department because I subconsciously want it to get stolen So if I use this purse it’ll just look like it’s a normal old manhole cover. On the floor of our office. Which happens to be on the 18th floor. No one will suspect a thing.
I got awarded the Schmooze award recently, once by the luscious Kyla and once by the entirely lickable Mayberry Mom, which is both awesome and puzzling. Apparently the Schmooze Award recognizes people who “get around all over the blogosphere”. Which is pretty much just a nice way of saying that I’m a great big slut. So, um…thank you?
I usually don’t pass these awards on because I’m very lazy, but miss the opportunity to call people sluts? I don’t think so. Marmite Breath, Willowtree, Harry Von Hufflepuff, Julie, Jeff, Ed T. and Bossy? Congratulations! Y’all are all gigantic whores.
Also, just so you know I’m serious about yesterday’s post:
Brought to you by The Council To Stop Blog Suicide By Threatening To De-Toe My Cat.
28 thoughts on “Random threats of violence and other stuff”
Read comments below or add one.
Oh, the toes. I am loving the whole toes thing.
HA! Cat flip flops. Poor, poor kitty will have to wear sandals.
That’s like my hot woman in a bikini body t-shirt i like to wear while playing pick-up basketball at the local gym
Ewww…count me in for the bag! Out here in the country, no one will notice either. Don’t gravel roads have manhole covers too?
Department, office? And no workspace. Now I am suspicious ;0(
Two words, poor cat.
Um… thank you?
It’s true I “get around,” but I ALWAYS wear protection!
What else did you say? Something about you got an award for being a Ho?
I can’t read for the tears rolling out of my eyes as I laugh hysterically at the look of sad “rescue me, please” resignation your cat is sending out whilst wearing blue daisy flip flops.
Using My Words
The purse is beyond words. I can totally see you toting that thing around. You’ll fit right in with the PTA crowd.
Love the flip flops!!!
The New York Times had an article on this subject. The inventions are not limited to purses, but include full disguises as well. Like, say, a skirt that unfolds into a soda machine. You know, to protect you from bullies. Yep.
Dude. How did you get your cat to sit still for that?
That purse. Yeah, no one would suspect. Plus, if you were planning to, you know, actually put anything in it, a lumpy man hole cover might be a bit suspicious. Just a bit.
Aw, that photo is priceless!
Thank you for bringing to light the issue of blog suicide. A domain is a terrible thing to waste…
Poor Posey’s toesies.
LawyerMama beat me to it. How could you actually carry anything?
I don’t think anyone would notice a manhole on the 18th floor. Of course the word manhole and 18th floor bring up different connotations….
Congratulations on your award!
Ok, do you remember that movie C.H.U.D: Cannabalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers?
Because I’m really scared now that they can accessorize.
You know, to this day, whenever I hear people talk about HUD housing I think of those CHUD cannibals. It’s a frightening association.
PS. Posey has either 10 or 20 toes, depending on your definition of “toes”.
Dude, don’t threaten Posey! He is a sweetie and if he loses any toes, I’ll just have to come get him…..poorest Posey…..
OH yeah – that purse is really realistic – particularly once you have all your crap in it. Never seen a bulging sewer cover before.
And I just have to say – putting flipflops on your cat is much more sadistic than a Wendy’s hair wig.
Great purse…what kind of shmoes do you work with? Why would you subconsciously want your purse stolen?
And back away from the toes…thanks for the laughs.
In light of my temporary inability to muster up any sort of diplomacy, I’m even more honored to receive an award for schmoozing.
And to think I was considering quitting blogging…
wait whoa, THAT is the purpose of that purse? I thought it was just to be chic. Crap. My fucking mind is like, blown.
contrats on the slutitude award!! 🙂
Hey. You are the one that invited me to your hotel room and started pouring wine.
Posey… listen up toots…these threats of toe removal, they’re no good for the family rep. But I’ve got some inside stuff on the braud – she hates the squid. You want me to drop her a “message” on her pillow tonight? Meet me by the docks at midnight and we’ll talk business…
IM IN UR BLOGZ, NOIN YOUR FOBIAZ 🙂
Toes are yucky, anyhow. But I love the expression on her face.
I have seen doormats that look like manhole covers, which I was awafully tempted by…
I always heard that Pluto was fucking Goofy, and I thought that to be very reprehensible. Cheers!!
So, she who made this photo
is calling me a blog ho? And a GIGANTIC one at that!?
Of course, I can think of another use for that manhole cover, looking at aforementioned photo…
OK it appears IMG tags are stripped from comments, so let me just put the link to the photo here:
Touche, Ed. Touche.