(Updated) Warning – These are NOT gummi bears

1.  You guys are the sweetest, most wonderful people ever.  I get mauled by a dog and I get the most comments I think I’ve gotten on The Bloggess, ever.  Next week I plan on being pummeled by wild boars.  I’m going to be the most popular blogger ever!  Screw you, Wil Wheaton!*

2.  So you have to go over to Mama Drama so you can read the details of my horrific dog attack.  Also, you can call me a dumb-ass and I can’t fight back.

3. 

not-gummies.jpg

I saw this thumbnail on yahoo pictures listed as one of the most awesome pictures of the year and I was all “OMG are those raspberry gummi bears?!  That IS awesome!” but turns out it’s just a couple of tiny babie’s feet which are just “kinda” awesome but not at all delicious except in that slightly creepy metaphoric sort of way.

Disappointing.

Updated to add:  Okay people, these are not dismembered dead baby feet.  These are the feet of the tiniest miracle preemie to survive and she’s a year old now and she’s doing great.   No matter how terribly dark my sense of humor is, I will never assault you with pictures of dead baby parts no matter how funny they may be.  That’s a promise you can take to the bank. 

God.  I don’t even want to think of the google search hits I’m going to get from this disclaimer.

*You know I truly love and adore you, Wil Wheaton. But I will stab you if you get in my way.

37 replies. read them below or add one

  1. LMAO.

    I don’t know if I’m disturbed or disturbed at myself for laughing 😉

    Your Mama Drama post was kick butt. What kind of dogs were they? I’m guessing large labs, blood hound, or Mastiff (which I’ve been bit by…NOT fun).

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  2. I totally thought they were leeches and then I thought, “Why are leeches so cool?” Baby feet (or gummi bears) are way cooler than leeches.

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  3. Plus leeches taste worse than baby feet. (One would assume.)

    I’m not really sure what kind of dogs they were. The looked german shepardish but it was hard to tell. One was chowish I think. I’m not good at canine profiling.

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  4. Are you freakin’ kidding me? Those are feet? Holy crap. I think I would’ve prefered the gummy bears. This is even more fascinating than your dog attack. Sorry ;0)

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  5. Um…not so funny. Sorry.

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  6. I guess that is what happens when you fall asleep in the Fountain of Youth.

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  7. You scared the crap out of me. I thought those little feet were detached at first!

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  8. Really? You’re okay with homemade porn, my blasphemous tagline and threats to amputate my cat, but mistaking feet of the youngest living preemie for gummi’s is too far?

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  9. Okay, I just read Jeff’s comment and yes, showing a picture of detached baby feet would be slightly over the top.

    I’ll give you that one.

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  10. Aw sweet little gummy bears baby feet. (I don’t know if that strikethrough is going to work, so excuse the mess if it don’t.

    I like both baby feet and gummy bears.

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  11. I will never be able to look at gummie bears the same way again.

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  12. I thought they looked like leeches.

    So a dog attack is the way to get more visitors to my site, huh? What if I just get a finger chopped off in the snowblower or something?

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  13. omg. How good would raspberry gummi bears be?! Now I’m hungry.

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  14. I’m off to read the attack story.

    Those baby feet freak me out. Its amazing that something that small could survive out of the womb.

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  15. FWIW, leeches DO taste worse than baby feet. but with some margarita salt you can spruce up a leech pate

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  16. You *so* deserve a margarita.

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  17. Yikes…those feet kind of freak me out. I wish they were gummy bears…sweeter and fewer nightmares.

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  18. Wow! How premature is that baby?

    Oh wait, is that the one from Miami where the mom lied by two weeks or so when she went into labor so they’d at least try to save the baby?

    Looks like it worked, if that’s that baby and she’s headed home. Yay!

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  19. Jenny. I am…verklempt. Attacking dogs. Raspberry gummy feet…oh, no..wait, a real baby’s real feet.

    Julie
    Using My Words

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  20. Say, are those feet raspberry?

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  21. The wild dog attack seems like a lot to go through for some comments. Stay away from dogs and we’ll just keep commenting. Deal?

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  22. Chris – Let’s see if I can get my money back on the boars first, okay?

    Ali – The baby was 22 weeks old when born. She’s a year old now (technically) and seems to be going strong. She had some problems but the doctors don’t think there will be any long-term damage. Miracle baby…for real.

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  23. OK, dude. At first I was thinking “why in the hell are decapitated baby feet FUNNY?” Doh. Click on the link and read the damn article, Steph.

    Are you recovering OK? Still drugged? Will you have scars? Did you give the dog Parvo? Inquiring minds want to know.

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  24. how do you feel about kitties?

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  25. That depends. You thinking about quitting blogging?

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  26. moi? no. por quoi? kitties might be safer.

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  27. I’ve seen baby feet that small before and they are not at all delicious…but I have to say – I totally thought they were gummy bears when I saw the picture. Too funny.

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  28. I love cats b/c they don’t attack unsuspecting mothers who came home for the holidays to visit, eat KFC for Thanksgiving and win some new trinkets for the house at the Ozona Bingo-Rama.

    Glad to read you’re okay.

    At least now we know what happened to Michael Vick’s dogs that lived.

    Hugs,
    Justy

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  29. Mmmmm… baby feet. *drool*

    And since I missed out on the dog-attack fun, I’ll just have to say it here: Are you just a human target or what?!? Ok, you have now officially used up the “bad things are happening” credits that you were given at birth. Go forth and be mauled no more!

    Sheesh, we finally get to see you with your shirt off and we gotta deal with stitches and owies? … feh, it was worth it.

    Sorry for all the trauma!

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  30. I can’t help staring at that picture! First they looked like gummies, then when you said “feet” they totally looked dismembered, then I read your dicslaimer and I see that they aren’t but they’re still damn freaky!! Wow.

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  31. Ugh. I try to so hard to be liberal but when I see pics like that the hidden pro-lifer in me comes roaring out.

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  32. Wow. Sorry that you even had to add that disclaimer.

    So much for us being sweet and wonderful.

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  33. Nah. You guys are still sweet and wonderful.

    Just also twisted and a little unstable. Which is preferable, really.

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  34. oh my god, Jenny.

    you are so fucking funny. you make me wretched with envy and pleasure all at once.

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  35. I meant to add that it’s like a good cocktail, that mix. only, could you please add just a smidge more alcohol? I like my envy and pleasure boozy.

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  36. “I don’t even want to think of the google search hits I’m going to get from this disclaimer.”

    But, you will share them with us… right?

    ~EdT.

    Like

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