Scaring off celebrities

Evil Dwight, the pseudo-editor of my other blog, just let us know that Mama Drama was being touted in the “Moms” section of Alltop.com, a website aggregating “all the top sites on the web”.  

mom.jpg

The Alltop site is the brainchild of Guy Kawasaki who is totally famous for stuff.  I don’t know the details but trust me.  Totally famous.  So I decided to send him an email (subject line: yeehaw):

Jenny@thebloggess.com wrote:

Just wanted to say thank you for including “Mama Drama” on Alltop.  You made our day!

My personal blog, The Bloggess, is not popular enough for the “Ego” section and not momish enough for the “Moms” section.  Have you considered a section for “blogs that inexplicably get lots of hits even though they’re all about offending your ritzy neighbors by taking risque crotch shots in your front lawn and tattooing your half-paralyzed-man-boob cat”?  Because I’m pretty sure I would totally kick ass in that section.

Love and googly eyes,

Jenny

******************************************************

Guy Kawasaki wrote:

Jenny, 

 How many hits do you get?

Thanks! 

Guy

********************************************************

Jenny@thebloggess.com wrote:

According to Google Analytics I get between 25,000 – 35,000 pageviews a
month which is embarassingly small in comparison to big bloggers like you
guys but considering that I only blog about stuff like the time that Magnum PI heard
me vomit, or the joys of artificial cow insemination, or why Amy Sedaris
is legitimately frightened of me it’s really quite astounding. To me.  Nobody else really cares.

PS.  I totally love you.  You’re the guy who invented the motorcycle, right?

~Jenny

Then he stopped responding to me and I can only assume is now desperately deleting Mama Drama from his list. 

Still, the fame was nice while it lasted.

61 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I fucking love you. I would buy your drinks and smooch on you all night long. There’s a deal to Houston this weekend. Are we on?

  2. Liv. We are on like Donkey Kong. Which means we’re on…like a lot. I think.

    Bring your drinking shoes.

  3. He is, no doubt, attempting to concoct a plan regarding you sending him a lock of your hair. But it’s hard to do that without seeming creepy and stalkerish.

    Sunshine’s last blog post..How to Stay Calm in an Emergency

  4. Jenny! Your emails. I am LMAO (which is good since I stressed out and had an ice cream today).

    But…I am so over elitism. It’s like so 1989. For sure.

    25,000-35,000 a month is SMALL BEANS?!?!

    Geez louise.

    I like places that tout the new, small and fresh blogs.

    Like my blog pledges. Which reminds me, I have forgotten to do that for three months in a row.

    Julie Pippert’s last blog post..Is there gender bias on the playground and political field alike?

  5. It’s astounding to me too! For reals.

    Jess’s last blog post..Wedding dress shopping, volume 2

  6. Wow. He’d NEVER want to talk to me, then. Does that make me meaningless and insignificant? ;O

    PunditMom’s last blog post..Tina Fey’s Reason Why Hillary Clinton Should be President

  7. Punditmom – You’re about as meaningless as dinner plates. Like, you could totally get along without them if you had to but why would you want to? Dinner plates kick ass. Much like you.

  8. Oh yeah, just like all the other wannabes, this guy is a wanker too.

    Just to give an example of the relevance this peckerhead has, here is an actual cut and paste of a complete post from one of those in his list.

    “asdfa asfdsilfn iopifj adsifhadsfadjfasdhfk iuas · asdfa asfdsilfn iopifj adsifhadsfadjfasdhfk iuas fiafi afiuads f asdi iiuasdhfiua fi i”

    Yep, that’s some mighty fine prose right there.

    Willowtree’s last blog post..Fun Monday – mastheads and menus

  9. I don’t care what your numbers are, I will always read you, I think you’re awesome! So you will always get at least “1” reader.

    Bunny’s last blog post..Monday’s Stirrings

  10. You are freaking brilliant.

    Jeff’s last blog post..The Most Embarrassing Video Evar

  11. Ah, but Jenny – you ARE a rockstar blogger. At least in my book (and your mom’s). You’re probably way too far above what’s-his-name’s head for him to GET you. We do though! Can I have a lock of your hair? I didn’t know you were giving them away!

    Sayre’s last blog post..Fun Monday – Why I’m Me and What I Like

  12. I’m thinking you should have taken the ‘cute’ route. The cat totally qualifies. If not that then ‘oddities’ would just about cover it.

    That’s why I read here. Sometimes I need a dose of “huh?”

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..Forget the Academy Awards…

  13. Ok,

    This will make no sense if you don’t watch 30 Rock and I totally tried to find a clip of the episode I’m about to refer to on youtube but I’m still traumatized from the time I searched for “zit popping videos” so I could make myself sick to my stomach instead of eating a plate of brownies but…

    Jenny, you remind me of the Tina Fey character when she interviwed w/ the ritzy co-op board.

    Greta’s last blog post..What’s Your Somatotype?

  14. I’m jealous of your big number. I have number envy. Must go buy red sports car to compensate. < Double 3 about your blog, tho.
    :^)

    anne nahm’s last blog post..The Noon O?Clock Laundry Day Interrupting Contest Results are IN!

  15. Just think of yourself as niche!
    Cheers

    Maddy’s last blog post..Idaho or bust!

  16. LOL! Vroom, vroom!

    Thanks for adding my blog to your blogroll, Jenny!

    jody’s last blog post..It is filled with oil

  17. You can email me any time Jenny.

    I’ll invent any damn thing you want me too.

    Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Good Bloggers Gone Bad

  18. Dude, if you want I can tickle your hit count to the tune of oh, I don’t know 100k monthly? I mean, you know, if you’re into hot, girl tickling.

    flutter’s last blog post..as is usually the way

  19. Flutter – I am all kinds of into hot girl tickling regardless of whether it affects my hit count or not. Please get on the same flight as Liv.

  20. Your celebrity encounters are ones that I can actually respect.

    mothergoosemouse’s last blog post..Boob tube

  21. That’s because they all end in me embarrassing myself. Amy, Guy, Magnum, Ken Hoffman, Chloe Dao…all end in me vomiting, cutting my hair off, accidentally destroying their reputation or frightening them. It’s like a gift.

    A horrible, horrible gift.

  22. You might be my favorite person…ever.

    Anna’s last blog post..Throwdown…Bobby Flay Style

  23. You.Are.Awesome.

    Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Why I’m Better Than The Supernanny

  24. I would say that I stand in awe but I’m laughing so hard that if I stand, I will pee!

    Sandy’s last blog post..Fun Monday – a TwoFer

  25. Next time I visit H-town (heaven!), I’m sto telling you. We gotta meet somewhere for a drink. Oh, and that would be Easter. Wanna get rocked so we can hide eggs in places the kids deliberately can’t reach them? 25k. You must be joking, right?

    (I’m in. ~Jenny)

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..No Wire Hangers!!

  26. Note to self: when consuming wine, proofread all comments. Should’ve said: I’m so telling you…but I think you knew that.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..No Wire Hangers!!

  27. Echoing all the gushing about the brilliance of you.

    Seriously.

    Can’t wait to read the next bit.

    amanda’s last blog post..Latte Elitist

  28. Very creative strategy…surely it’s just taking him this long to reply because he’s not sure if he gets it or not..

    Amy Castellano’s last blog post..Fuzzy Logic?

  29. I am thinking all us freaky bloggers should email him on mass. Send him running to his mummy.

    I need a caffeine fulled bitch on wheels category. Or perhaps Mario P0rn, cause that is what most of my google searches are.

    Kelley’s last blog post..What do you discuss at a 1 years old’s birthday party?

  30. Jenny I LOVE YOU. your blog is the greatest and you are a woman after my own heart, can i get on the same flight with Liv too? please please can i???

    Julie’s last blog post..Fun Monday 02/11/08

  31. Absolutely. Bring mixers.

  32. The only question on MY mind is:
    Who IS that dooce person?

    Absolutely Bananas’s last blog post..Make Me Laugh Monday

  33. I’m pretty sure Guy Kawasaki = Guy Smiley.

    Which explains him not appreciating you like he should.

  34. […] the piss but funny anyway – try this email to Guy Kawasaki: Jenny@thebloggess.com […]

  35. I found this blog post because Guy Kawasaki twittered this

    http://twitter.com/guykawasaki/statuses/758926672

    And after reading through the comments, I am now a subscriber!

    Aloha,
    NEENZ

    PS

    With Guy, all you have to do is ask.

    NEENZ’s last blog post..From the Mind of NEENZ: New Look, New Approach

  36. LMAO! I see you’re still on his list.

    Jenty’s last blog post..The boys at one

  37. If you decide to sell tickets to that hot girl tickling thing, I would so pay to watch.

    Also true, alas, were my wife to find out. 😉

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..That Old-Time Photograph

  38. Guy Kawasaki twittered me. *giggle*

    That sounds so dirty. (But not as dirty as the pay-per-view-hot-girl-tickle thing which is totally on as soon as I find a venue.)

  39. I can only dream of becoming as famous in the blog world as you. 😉

    Jacki’s last blog post..No Passport Required: Beaches of Denmark

  40. Jenny,

    Hilarious. Congratulations, even if you don’t quite grok how cool it is to have Guy Kawasaki paying the slightest bit of attention to you.

    I’d say, “You’re not worthy”, except you are, totally.

    Dwight.

  41. Ah, and to think I knew you when. Way back when you didn’t know who this Kawasaki dude was. Like yesterday.

  42. LOL! Hee hee hee…

    I think I love you.

    CircusKelli’s last blog post..Sunday Matinee

  43. I bet they are Dooce-Bags *zinga!*. Seriously, if you were any funnier, my face would explode. If anyone else made the “dooce-bag” joke, I apologize but I did not read all of the comments.

  44. Seriously, people, the power of Jenny is awesome. She fave’d my blog on Technorati and I gained a QUARTER MILLION POINTS in ranking.

    I am afraid and awed by her power. mk

    (of course, I am still ranked like 1.4 million, but hey)

    markira’s last blog post..Haircut

  45. you know what i like better than making fun of bloggers that enjoy their fame too much?

    that’s right, nothing.

    furiousball’s last blog post..do dah do da doooo? charge!

  46. maybe if you sent him a picture of your cat it would help.

    Luann’s last blog post..YEA Me!

  47. I can’t imagine why he stopped corresponding with you. Mr. Kawasaki…muahahaha….

    Candy’s last blog post..Put Down Those Panties!

  48. You’d totally be on my topsites site, if I has such a thing. Of course, being a teeny tiny little blogger (the blog, not me, I’m normal-sized), no on ewould find you that way, anyhow, so keep trying with Mr. Motorcycle Man. Good luck!

    kittenpie’s last blog post..Ease My Troubles, That’s What You Do.

  49. […] is an update on yesterday’s super-exciting post so if you missed it you need to go there and read it first because otherwise you are going to be […]

  50. You are so fuckin hilarious! I still can’t stop laughing.

  51. I’m jealous. It’s too bad I can’t get technorati rankings for not having a blog anymore.

  52. Now see, if I were him and got email replies like that? I would list you first. Just sayin’. Cuz that was some funny shit.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..I Must Confess…It’s Tuesday #5

  53. If it helps at all — I’ve never read Dooce. The name reminded me of a little kid that lived on the street who always had “dooce” in his bottle – and snot smeared all over his face.

    Pamela’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Grandma’s Curlymop

  54. I think he’s just composing his love letter to you and needs some time.

    Lotta’s last blog post..Just Brag’n

  55. No, no, no. I’m sure he’s just getting a restraining order in place first.

    Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..Whirlwind California Trip

  56. […] you missed the Bloggess this week you missed a lot.  Guy Kawasaki became besotted with me,  I made his name into a verb, my cat died, and Ken Hoffman continued to ignore me.  In a […]

  57. you did great! i think i blew it with guy when i told him i couldn’t wait to meet the only guy at blogher. i never did meet him, but i think it’s because he ducked under a table each time i scanned the room looking for him. or maybe it was the fact that i was handing out blog url ‘cards’ scrawled on toilet paper. not sure.

    gwendomama’s last blog post..The Whole Truth

  58. […] give advice on “Google juice.” Guy Kawasaki will engage an emailer in conversation. He loves The Bloggess because she guessed he invented the motorcycle. My personal blog, The Bloggess, is not popular […]

  59. […] Alltop.com first came to my attention after I discovered that two chron.com blogs were on it — Julie Mason’s Beltway Confidential is in the Politics category, while our Mama Drama reader blog makes the Moms list. When I pointed this out to Jenny Lawson of Mama Drama, she contacted Kawasaki to thank him. They appear to have struck up a, um,  “friendship” as a result. […]

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