So apparently this is what the scientists are working on now instead of a cure for herpes. The kiss phone:
Basically it’s a cell phone that you kiss and it detects and sends your kiss to your partners’ kiss-phone and vice-versa. It’s like kissing someone through a pair of giant wax lips, which is almost as hot as making out with drywall, or a puddle. I totally want one of these just so I can be making out with my husband over the phone and suddenly say “Ha! You’ve been making out with the cat, you sicko!” And then he’ll be all “Yeah? Well the cat’s been kissing my butt for the last 5 minutes.” And then I’ll be like “Ew. The cat was only on the phone for the last 30 seconds.” And then we get a divorce. Thanks a lot, kiss phone. Now I’m divorced and I have no cure for herpes.
PS. I don’t really have herpes. I have that disease you get from kissing your cat after it kisses someone’s butt through plastic lips. “Depression”, I think it’s called.
Comment of the day: We still have things like AIDS and stroke victims, right? Can you really call someone who invents a kiss phone a scientist? When the s**t hits the fan and AIDS becomes airborne and the cure for cancer takes a turn and makes everyone zombies and we have only to rely on a ripped-up Will Smith to save us by choking his dog, at least we will have f**king kissy phones. Thanks alot “scientists,” my money’s on the zombies. ~DiscoJamboree