why the terrorists hate us

There are a lot of machine guns on this vacation

Disclaimer: I’m still incredibly sick and feverish with what I can only imagine is Dengue Fever so this post is probably missing entire paragraphs because of it. Sorry about that. Last week Victor and I went to Central America for the weekend and if I don’t write it all down now I’m going to forgetContinue reading “There are a lot of machine guns on this vacation”

Random Ramblings of an Insomniac: Boobquakes, dangerous squirrels, things we already knew about men

I have insomnia so I’m getting a head-start on National #Boobquake Day; a day when women are encouraged to wear their most immodest outfit to see if immodest women do, in fact, cause earthquakes as reported by Iranian media. Apparently this is a real concern. So I put on my most low-cut corset and used myContinue reading “Random Ramblings of an Insomniac: Boobquakes, dangerous squirrels, things we already knew about men”

Dear Google: Stop trying to help. You’re making it worse.

This morning someone asked me why there are 12 days of Christmas. And honestly, I have no fucking idea. So I decided to google it and then I stabbed myself in the head. Why? Because I don’t want to live in a world where so many people are asking Google ridiculous questions that Google is allContinue reading “Dear Google: Stop trying to help. You’re making it worse.”

UPDATED X 5: Why voter-driven awards are fundamentally flawed.

I just got a bunch of emails from people telling me I was on the front page of the Shorty Awards, which I’d never even heard of but apparently it’s some sort of People’s Choice contest for Twitter so I clicked the link to check it out and found out that I’m currently in 5th place…Continue reading “UPDATED X 5: Why voter-driven awards are fundamentally flawed.”

Canadian money is pretty much useless

Yesterday someone mailed me cash for a James Garfield ChrisKwanzaaKahRfield card but instead of real money they sent me a Canadian $10 bill. Which is kind of fucked up because 1) I wasn’t aware that Canada had different money than normal people and 2) I don’t even know what Canadian money is supposed to lookContinue reading “Canadian money is pretty much useless”

Japan, part 2 (ish): Tommy Lee Jones needs to mind his own business

OMG, you guys. I actually published a “part 2” to a post that I labeled “Part 1”. I think that’s the first time that’s ever happened. Is there a medal for this, or some sort of ribbon? If so, please mail one to me. Unless it’s that bullshit white participant ribbon. No one wants thatContinue reading “Japan, part 2 (ish): Tommy Lee Jones needs to mind his own business”