My fame is awesome/humbling/nonexistent in the real world

I was totally shocked when Michael informed me that I’d been entered into the annals of history by way of the Urban Dictionary:

dictionary.jpg

And I, of course, giggled and blushed and decreed that my coworkers begin walking 3-5 feet behind me to demonstrate their inferiority to me. 

Then I clicked on one of the tags Michael included in the definition and discovered this:

dictionary2.jpg

Touché, Willowtree.  

And just like that, my over-inflated ego collapsed and the world went on much the same as always. 

But I’m still going to need all of you to start referring to me with an honorific title like “your excellency”.  Or if we’ve gotten drunk together, something less formal like “The Dread Lady of Blogsylvania”. 

Also, no eye contact.

PS.  If you look up “Bloggessed” in the “real” dictionary it gives you this as the closest match:

dictionary3.jpg

Insulting and scarily fitting.

Comment of the day:  Back in 1974, when I was the karate champ of Flitners Corner, Wyoming (I actually moved to Flitners Corner solely for the reason that there was no karate studios in the area and the relatively low population, figured I could become the champ once I created the contest and lightly (aka light as in not) advertised). I became the subject of similar such notoriety. The only contestant I had to defeat, Lyle P. Ligonberry became the victim of the very first Scrotal Tornado. What happened (mostly by accident), was my toe got caught in his wrestling singlet (Lyle apparently thought wrestling was karate) and I fell. I flipped over snapping back into action. In the process of doing so, I had started torquing his nutsack into something resembling a flesh colored twister lollipops. Ergo, my toe and your mind have a lot in common – both famous and both excellent at twisting nutsacks. ~furiousball

67 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Willowtree: always one step ahead of being two steps behind.

    mark’s last blog post..Is the House on Fire?

    Like

  2. Wow, I feel like I am brushing with celebrity just commenting here! My god.

    Also, is that where the British slang “bollocks” came from?

    Jess’s last blog post..The Flower Saga, Part… I’ve Lost Count

    Like

  3. Heh. You said “annals.”

    Toni’s last blog post..I’m Too Sexy for My Penguin

    Like

  4. I am truly humbled to be in your shadow…

    and a little afraid after the fuss you made over Herpes.

    Houston’s last blog post..Morning Lunchbags!

    Like

  5. I’m not even worthy of commenting.

    Maria’s last blog post..Dun duh duh da!!! Super Ant!!

    Like

  6. I’m surprised you and the term “bloggessed” weren’t already in urban dictionary.

    imelda’s last blog post..Twitter in Plain English

    Like

  7. The Dread Lady of Blogsylvania it is then.

    Kyla’s last blog post..Questions!

    Like

  8. You have always been Her Excellency of Blogsylvania to me.

    *sigh* (I kiss so much ass)

    The Introvert’s last blog post..the good ol’ days

    Like

  9. Oh. My. God.

    So, uh are your britches feelin snug? Nah? Good, baby cuz I know you’re not too big for ’em ;p

    you crack me up

    flutter’s last blog post..Light through the blinds

    Like

  10. The “real” dictionary definition sounds pretty right on. And I mean that in the best way possible.

    Like

  11. *snort*

    I love you guys. You build me up and tear me down in the most amazing ways.

    Like

  12. I thought these references were just clever photoshopping on your part, so I went to urbandictionary.com to find out. Now I must apologize for my doubt.

    On a side note, a blogfuck refers to
    when a blog entry refers to several other blogging individuals, often in the act of reminiscing about shared escapades the night before.

    You know, like M.D. Con Queso II.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Shower the people

    Like

  13. All hail and now bow down to Her Highness.

    Treasia’s last blog post..Getting to the bottom of it

    Like

  14. Back in 1974, when I was the karate champ of Flitners Corner, Wyoming (I actually moved to Flitners Corner solely for the reason that there was no karate studios in the area and the relatively low population, figured I could become the champ once I created the contest and lightly (aka light as in not) advertised). I became the subject of similar such notoriety. The only contestant I had to defeat, Lyle P. Ligonberry became the victim of the very first Scrotal Tornado. What happened (mostly by accident), was my toe got caught in his wrestling singlet (Lyle apparently thought wrestling was karate) and I fell. I flipped over snapping back into action. In the process of doing so, I had started torquing his nutsack into something resembling a flesh colored twister lollipops. Ergo, my toe and your mind have a lot in common – both famous and both excellent at twisting nutsacks.

    furiousball’s last blog post..my $heart = ?;

    Like

  15. Dictionaries make my brain hurt. Math is hard. Let’s go shopping.

    Spamboy’s last blog post..Updates for March 9, 2008

    Like

  16. “Scrotal Tornado”

    That one wins… I wonder if I can steal that and write it into my 100 word story this week?

    Houston’s last blog post..Morning Lunchbags!

    Like

  17. damnitt! hot coffee through the nose is not pleasant.

    can’t. stop. laughing. singed nose hairs and all…

    biddy’s last blog post..CALM YOURSELVES, PEOPLE!!

    Like

  18. you know, rose petals thrown at your feet as you walk would really enhance your exaltedness, I’m just sayin’.

    Maggie’s last blog post..Such a serious boy

    Like

  19. I want some of whatever furiousball is on.

    The Introvert’s last blog post..the good ol’ days

    Like

  20. p.s. i totally just got written up on the system for trying to go to urban dictionary because it’s “obscene”

    if i lose my job i’m totally coming to live with you

    biddy’s last blog post..CALM YOURSELVES, PEOPLE!!

    Like

  21. Okay, well I guess this would explain all the hits I’m getting from here. Frankly I’m surprised it’s even in there, I got a message saying it was cancelled before it was reviewed by the editors. I just assumed even the Urban Dictionary people were scared of you too.

    Willowtree’s last blog post..Not another pet clip?!

    Like

  22. All hail the Blogess!

    Carrie’s last blog post..People are People

    Like

  23. Looks like Maria and I will be slowly and silently following 3 paces behind together…

    …snickering all the way.

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..An American Idol Party

    Like

  24. The worst is when the quack doctor manages to bollox the botox. Then you end up kinda wide eyed and bushy tailed. Or something.

    zenmomma’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #18 – The Liberal Store

    Like

  25. Ooh! I’ve been bloggessed, and I liked it!

    Melessa’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: I Made This!

    Like

  26. Too funny!

    Ginny’s last blog post..Oyster Funny + some facts

    Like

  27. Oh mercy, it’s a wonder your head still fits through the doorway these days…or does it?! 😉

    *picture it: a big ballooned head on your little body* It’s almost like reverse Jenny Craig before shot…or is that after…hmm. 😀

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..Take me out the ball game

    Like

  28. I promise not to look in your eyes, but not walk 5 steps behind. I’m a fast walker, hey! 😉

    Z’s last blog post..Like I didn’t know already

    Like

  29. I routinely to you are Her Highness The Bloggess.

    Honestly I do, her Majesty.

    Emily’s last blog post..The Perfect Workout

    Like

  30. I feel the accusation about you “killing your cat” for blog fodder is horribly unfair. I say this whilst not looking you directly in the eyes. Kinda like Harry Hamlin’s character in “Clash of the Titans”…but not because I’m afraid you’ll turn me to stone.

    AB’s last blog post..Don’t make me color with “Asparagus”.

    Like

  31. 31
    ThatGreenyFlower

    May I kiss the Royal hand? No? How ’bout the Royal heinie?

    Like

  32. Hahahahahahaha.
    Fabulous. I am so not worthy.

    theotherbear’s last blog post..Brief Hiatus

    Like

  33. I always wondered where that “grow a pair of bollocks” expression came from. Though I always preferred the Latin “huevos” instead. How did I turn this comment into being all about testicles?

    Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..Mommy and Me Music Class

    Like

  34. I’m coming home next week. Where are you having a partay for bloggy peeps? Cause I want to Kawasaki you or something.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Powerball Lottery

    Like

  35. If I had known when I met you how famous you were I would have licked you more.

    Chicky Chicky Baby’s last blog post..Chicky is a Punk

    Like

  36. Well, I gotta tell you Jenny, if someone tells me they got Blogessed, what I’m really thinking is that they got *lucky*. Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!

    Like

  37. Bolloxed is still better than Botoxed.

    Sandy’s last blog post..Thankful Thursday – my child

    Like

  38. WOW! I feel so honored to be “blogessed.” Hey! I entered my son’s definition of “starbucksing” into the Urban Dictionary. Of course he doesn’t drink coffee, just chocolate milk.

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..School’s Out for Spring Break! Already!

    Like

  39. I will let you borrow my tiara if you promise not to let it clash with your shoes. Better still, send me photos of your shoes and I will let you know which to wear with the tiara or suggest where to purchase proper shoes.

    Do Bloggesseseseses’s whatever, even wear tiaras?

    Kelley’s last blog post..Hello Kitty. Well, Hello Kitty!!

    Like

  40. OMG, Jenny is going all annal on us now…

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: a change in perspective

    Like

  41. I find it fitting somehow that the closest you get to a real definition is being testicles.

    Your Highness.

    markira’s last blog post..Behold, I Stand At The Door And Knock

    Like

  42. Oh my God, Greta. You rock.

    Also, there should be a word for being too intimidated to comment on your own blog.

    Because I totally have that.

    Like

  43. what the? how did? Greta, I’m buying you a pizza.

    furiousball’s last blog post..And you folks in South Dakota? let’s go

    Like

  44. Mmmmmmm….pizza!!!!!!!!!

    Perhaps the “awesomest” part was that the Urban Dictionary username Greta was already taken. FatGreta is also my twitter name.

    Greta’s last blog post..Scales of Justice II: The Walk of Shame

    Like

  45. I have never been Bloggessed. However, I have often been referred to as a Bloglodyte.

    …yeah, I know it’s not a good thing.

    Like

  46. I wish I could post an awesome comment that would cause people to spit coffee out their noses. But I can’t top the awesomeness of Furiousball. Seriously. What’s better than Scrotal Tornado?

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..LOST S4ep7

    Like

  47. Your Majesty, I humbly thank you for giving me credit. I’m not sure what it’s called when your name appears in an actual POST by Her Highness Herself, the exalted Bloggess, but it’s probably worth a lot. I can probably skate on this one for about 3 weeks!

    I’ll leave you now, curtsying as I slowly back away with my eyes to the ground. And yes, even though I am a man, I prefer the curtsy to the bow, it just seems more elegant.

    Michael’s last blog post..TT # blah! 13 things I do, other than work.

    Like

  48. You killed my cat by means of human parvo?!?

    Hottdog’s last blog post..What in the H E L L is wrong with you people?

    Like

  49. Will you sign your name on my left boob with a Sharpie?

    Sonia’s last blog post..Happy Blank, Dumb Dora!

    Like

  50. WTF???

    Because I a)have no life, and b)am a textbook example of narcissism, I just clicked on the link you gave to my blog, all I can say is “why you dirty….“, some day I’ll get you.

    Willowtree’s last blog post..Not another pet clip?!

    Like

  51. Hey, I just realised I’ve been Bloggessed, and not in a good way either.

    Willowtree’s last blog post..Not another pet clip?!

    Like

  52. No one is ever Bloggessed in a good way. It’s like being probed by aliens. Even if it’s enjoyable you still feel dirty afterward.

    Like

  53. you’ll always be nonexistent to me, babe.

    kissy-phone kiss.

    lildb’s last blog post..blog poo.

    Like

  54. p.s. you say that last thing like feeling dirty is bad.

    nooooon.

    lildb’s last blog post..blog poo.

    Like

  55. HEY! You said my skinny ankles were the new black! Now you’re saying “Kawasakied” is the new black! LOL!

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..I Am a Domestic Diva

    Like

  56. Ok … I totally want to be bloggessed. But I’m thinking MY definition is different and somewhat dirtier than that of Urban Dictionary.

    Like

  57. That’s hilarious. I want one.

    diesel’s last blog post..Iron Man Caption Contest Winners

    Like

  58. All right you, Dread Lady of Blogsylvania, I feel so blessed now. I can say that I knew you when. When what? I don’t know.

    Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..Our Newest Family Member

    Like

  59. so since you stopped by and commented on my blog…can I say I’ve been officially “bloggessed” I feel like I’m in the presence of a rock starlet…

    Amy Castellano’s last blog post..just look at those dimples….

    Like

  60. You. Are. The. Coolest. Seriously.

    white trash mom’s last blog post..Tampon Crafts: Easter Bunny

    Like

  61. Do you have like a “I’ve been Bloggessed” badge I can sport on my blog?… Oh hell, you know I’m gonna ask this eventually so let’s skip the formalities already and tattoo it on my bum.

    BusyDad’s last blog post..I Would So Rock the Interview

    Like

  62. Pray tell, did you look up Willowtree?
    Meh, the last, brutal leg of this pregnancy is making me snarky.

    amanda’s last blog post..Gurgles

    Like

  63. You are so wrong for that!

    Like

  64. 65
    Jerseygirl89

    Your excellency,
    I’ve got nothing to compare to your coolness. And I think being Bloggessed sounds cooler than be Kawasakied.

    Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen

    Like

  65. Blogfuck. I’m still stuck on that one. If I can be a blogwhore AND get a blogfuck in the process, life would be, like, WOAH, totally perfect. 🙂

    Claudia’s last blog post..What the HELL are we doing?

    Like

  66. Bolloxed is also a lovely way of saying ‘Woo! Too much booze/ weed/ tamazepam for me, I need to go to bed’ – at least in England anyway, y’know, when we aren’t drinking tea and that.

    x

    Little Kid’s last blog post..Joe Abercrombie Review

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.