I’m unplugging

Puerto Rico,
You lovely island . . .
Island of tropical breezes.
Always the pineapples growing,
Always the coffee blossoms blowing . . .
~West Side Story

Is that true about Puerto Rico?  I’ve no idea.  But I’m going to find out.

I’ll be back in a few days.  Feel free to use the comment section for lurid propositions and dangerous rough-housing.

PS.  Burglars?  My house will be protected by my large, bohemian father who is frighteningly unpredictable and likes to shoot things for fun. 


And yes.  That really is my father.  And yes.  He really will kill all of you.

PS.  So far there’s only one real bid on my child’s quilted-vibrator-for-charity-art-piece.  Really?  You guys are going to let Oh My Stinkin Heck walk away with this gem for 5 bucks?  Shocking. 

Comment of the day:  You suck.  Don’t have fun. ~ Immoral Matriarch

71 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Your dad is hot. Maybe we could go shoot prairie dogs together?

    Tonya’s last blog post..The Downside of Child Labor

  2. I’m with Tonya, your dad is a hottie! How does he feel about neurotic redheads??

    Hairy Weisenheimmer’s last blog post..One Good Chair

  3. Yeah, your dad looks like a lot of fun! Are you only giving out your address to burglars?

    Jill/Twipply Skwood’s last blog post..Just Call Me Martha

  4. What is this “unplugging” you speak of?

    I don’t get it.

    Maggie, dammit’s last blog post..Am I doing it all wrong?

  5. You suck.
    Don’t have fun.

    Maria’s last blog post..Move Bitch!

  6. Wordless Wednesday…

    By Jenny (toddler mom) Yes, this is a fantastically old photo but it fits well today because right now I’m packing for a little vacation which I need desperately…….

  7. Awesome! Have fun! And if there are coffee blossoms blowing around….mail me some! 😉

    Chris’s last blog post..Because after 11 years What else would you text about?

  8. Re: PR
    Yes, the first three lines are accurate.

  9. puerto rico. nice work if you can get it.

    pookie addams’s last blog post..Dixie Chicks “Not Ready To Make Nice” at Grammy Awards 2007

  10. Pwerto Rrrrico? On my list. Someday.

    Have a wonderful time. Don’t forget your bikini!

  11. Dude… not only will Jenny’s father shoot you, he will stuff you and leave you as a present for when Jenny gets home.

    BTW – I’ve never been to PR, but I have relatives from there. Forever longing to return.

    Sayre’s last blog post..Up in the Air

  12. Oh he doesn’t stuff people. Only animals.

    (He can’t get the eyes right on people.)

  13. Have fun in Puerto Rico and by “Have fun in Puerto Rico” I mean that I want you to have fun in Puerto Rico.

    furiousball’s last blog post..There’s plenty of fish in the oh go fuck yourself

  14. AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    Read THIS as an appetizer to your trip! Are you staying on the coast or venturing into Old San Juan? Cause you HAVE.TO. go to OSJ. YOU MUST!

    Crap…IT’S AMAZING AND I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON, but I won’t. Go see the stuff I mentioned. Walk a lot. It’s one of the most beautiful cities on the planet (and while I really haven’t visited many cities on the planet, I KNOW this to be true!)! The people there have so much PRIDE in their home–they LOVE to talk to you about it (even if you can’t understand a word sometimes).

    I cannot wait to hear what you think after the fact…call me, we’ll chat.

    Oh……and I just upped your kid’s art. It CAN’T go for $5 on my watch.


    PENSIEVE’s last blog post..Standing sentry, Doctor’s top

  15. You mean unplugging in the theoretical sense right? Because ACTUALLY unplugging would be CRAZINESS. How does one survive without the lifeblood of the Internet? 😉

    Kyla’s last blog post..Unofficially.

  16. I guess you didn’t listen to the rest of that song…

    Puerto Rico . . .
    You ugly island . . .
    Island of tropic diseases.
    Always the hurricanes blowing,
    Always the population growing . . .

    Have a lovely time! Don’t come back with jungle rot!

    The Introvert’s last blog post..open letter to proactiv

  17. Tonya….

    No discussions of “Prairie Dogging” please.


    Houston’s last blog post..Rangers Losing (Suprise)

  18. You are SO lucky to get to go on vacation. I SO need one of those. Have a great trip!

    imelda’s last blog post..links for 2008-04-15

  19. We have the same dad? Weird.

  20. dude, your daddy has really nice teeth!
    enjoy PR and bring back lots of pictures and stories!

    jac’s last blog post..snip.

  21. when she says he’s bohemian, she really means it. err…at least that is what the holographic image of Jenny told me.

  22. He scares me. And I don’t scare easily.

    Jen O.’s last blog post..4:30 a.m.

  23. You Go Girl!

    Enjoy your break and have an extra beverage for me!

    Johanna’s last blog post..Lessons from Elementary School

  24. let us hope your trip does not resemble the second verse of the West Side Story “America.”

    Puerto Rico, you ugly island,
    island of tropic diseases,
    always the hurricanes blowing,
    always the population growing,
    and the children crying,
    and the bullets flying.

    That would suck.

    I’m just jealous…kick ass Puerto Rico. Your dad looks like he would be fun to rob a bank with. You’d be all

    – c’mon Pa, it’s time to vaminos.

    and he’d be all up in a bank tellers face like,

    – Do you believe in heaven son?

    Awesome! I bet he is a very sweet man.

  25. Puerto Rico’s amazing! Was there last September and had a great time! Be sure and visit the forts because they’re incredible. Can’t wait to see the crazy posts that are going to come from the trip. You know we’re expecting them!

    Maybe your dad will catch that leprechaun for you and stuff it while you’re gone.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Hump Day Humor: Adventures Off the Pill

  26. That quilted vibrator could be the next Flat Stanley, mailed out to mommybloggers everywhere and we all take pics and stuff.

    Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Mixed Feelings

  27. Dad’s cute. I suppose he’s taken by Mom. *eyeroll* isn’t that always the way? PR is hot and gorgeous. Ramble around old town and go to the fortress, pretend you’re Bloggess of the world and not just the internet.

    Kimberlee’s last blog post..blogophobe to blogaholic.

  28. Have fun!!! Drink lots of rum!!! Run around in the sun!!! Don’t swim when they’re throwing chum!!! (Because it attracts sharks.)

    Those are all the “uhs” I can think of.

    ali’s last blog post..A BLATANT CHALLENGE

  29. The burglars DESERVE to have fucked up eyes. Besides, THEY don’t know Daddy doesn’t do people…

    Sayre’s last blog post..Up in the Air

  30. What? I’m not good enough for the hodge podge penis?

    OMSH’s last blog post..So much to say…all the time in the world to say it.

  31. Think how much you could get for that collage if you could only see the Virgin Mary somewhere in it.

    Although the art in itself might have taken care of the Virgin part.

    Jennifer H’s last blog post..Fireflies

  32. Have a great time in Puerto Rico . . . totally jealous!

    Carrie’s last blog post..Baby on Board

  33. I love Texas! We get to have fun with guns & everyone supports us.

    Puerto Rico, huh? Dirty whore. I’m freaking jealous as all get out.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Where’s Mr. Roper?

  34. Why are you not taking us with you? You no love us?

    anne nahm’s last blog post..Pregnaphobia

  35. Dude! I am so jealous. Not about the Puerto Rico thing (because when I was there I was bitten, oh, 96,000 times by these awful no-see-um bugs and I scratched my legs to a pulp – awesome) but about the “your Dad could be a pirate” thing!

    My Dad could never be a pirate. Unless pirates suddenly becamse mild-mannered republicans.

    Wait, that’s even scarier than regular pirates! Argh!

    Hey did you ever hear the one about what the pirate said at his birthday party?

    “Aye matey!” (Pronounced I’m Eighty)

    Best. Joke. Ever.

    Sensitiva McFeelingsly’s last blog post..Weekend Update

  36. I would SO not screw with your dad

    flutter’s last blog post..I want it

  37. Is he bringing the dogs? Maybe I’ll send a few people I hate on over to your house….

    Now how the heck are you going to stalk Jen from PR? Oh wait, is she going too?

    Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..Who’s Going to BlogHer?

  38. Spent a good chunk of my childhood in Puerto Rico. San Juan to be exact. Wish they still had bull fights. I only have one bad memory, but don’t think it is likely that you will be bit by a shark. My advice: swim where it is crowded.

    clickmom’s last blog post..dear kitty kitty

  39. The kid’s got to start somewhere. You should give her one of her actual vibrators and let her decopage (no friggin’ clue how to spell that…probably ‘cuz I’ve never doen it…it’s v-i-b-r-a-t-o-r rigt…what did you think I meant?)

    Greta’s last blog post..Biggest Loser Final Three

  40. Oh trust me, if they offered a Platinum Ticket I’d have bought it, especially if it offered a private date with Oliver. The twins give a lot of the money they make to charity so I’d be doing it for the kids!

    Yeah, right.

    Have a fruity-umbrella drink for me. Oh hell, just hit the rum.

    warcrygirl’s last blog post..Well, it IS called Phelps Anonymous?

  41. Is PR ready for the Bloggess? Enjoy!

    Mr Farty’s last blog post..Religion, Politics, Stupidity

  42. Enjoy your holiday 🙂

    Jenty’s last blog post..Seaside here we come!

  43. i hate you.

    take me with you?!

    who is up for wild sex on jenny’s desk while she’s gone!?

    Biddy’s last blog post..it’s probably a good thing i’m not catholic…

  44. p.s. how do you feel about me being your step mom? just curious 😉

    Biddy’s last blog post..it’s probably a good thing i’m not catholic…

  45. This is Kevin’s auto-robot commenting system. You are awesome.

    Message complete.

  46. awww..you’re leaving without me again? What am I to do now? Think I can buy your dad off with cookies? >;-]
    *sings to you on your way out*
    “I like to be in A-mer-i-ca! okay by me in America! everything free in America!…for a small fee in America!” 😀

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..Fun With Letters – A Game for all

  47. and after he kills you, he will stuff you! or save you for Hailey’s first science project…

    Sandy’s last blog post..Fun Monday – The Nekked Edition

  48. 48

    Have fun!! Have a drink (or two) for me!!

  49. Puerto Rico…because of a trip I made in middle school, will always carry with it, for me, a soundtrack of Jody Whatley.

    Ok, because of the trup and because I am a big ass dork.

    amanda’s last blog post..Public Service Announcement, or Bitchy Pregnancy Rant

  50. Have fun! I’ve always wanted to go there, but have never known anyone who’s actually gone. Let us know if it’s all that’s it’s cracked up to be. Hubby owes me a vacation without kids.

    shuttle mom’s last blog post..Spring Cleaning Time

  51. I think your dad was my philosophy professor in college.

    I think I am violently jealous that you are in Puerto Rico.

    I think I’m sad that I have nothing lurid to say.

    Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Coming Soon To A Playground Near Me

  52. I pronounce it Pwerto Rrrreeeko too! Have fun!

    Holly’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  53. Then he stuffs and mounts. I’m not burglarizing anything, thats fur shur.

    Pamela’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday -Cherry Blossom Blizzard

  54. I’ll miss you.

    Don’t stay away too long or despair will set in, the skies will grow dark and the dinosaurs will become extinct.


    They are already?

    Oh, well, have a great trip I guess.

    MammaLoves’s last blog post..The Lesser of Two Evils

  55. Yeah. He definitely looks like a piss collector. I can see it.

    Tiffany’s last blog post..Shut the F**k up already!

  56. Have a good trip, and don’t mind what everyone else says. Stay gone as long as you want. It will give the rest of us a chance to take over the blog world:).

    Kylie’s last blog post..Wow! Is it Wordless Wednesday already?

  57. your dad is awesome, can i share him with you? is he worthy?

    i love his parenting style, i strive for this myself.

    piglet’s last blog post..this is ira glass, isn’t he a peach?

  58. Hey, didn’t i see you at Peter Pan at the Miller Outdoor Theatre yesterday? I thought you were in Pureto Rico sippin’ cuba libras through phallyc shaped silly straws!!!

    pookie confused.

  59. I am incredibly jealous of 1) your vacation to Puerto Rico and 2) your ability to create such an interesting conversation among your commenters.

    This is entertainment.

    Sara’s last blog post..I Could Date A Doctor

  60. I am so jealous. I only get to go to South Padre in a few weeks.

    shuttle mom’s last blog post..At middle age +, I haven’t seen it all, until now

  61. Checking out your dad again – he looks suspiciously like my cousin Stan. Complete with hat. If I didn’t know better, I’d say we were related (through my randy grandpa). Hmmm… maybe I don’t know better. That guy’s been just about everywhere. Who knows how many relatives I’ve got?

    Sayre’s last blog post..Thank God It’s Over

  62. Jenny, I am a master bidder. I’m not going to tip my hand early. I want this thing cheap.

    Then again, anything that includes your autographed vuh jay jay is worth a lot to me, er, I mean, to the charity to which I will be donating it. I’ll pay out the nose. For the kids. Or for the earth. What the hell is this for again?

    Velveteen Mind – Megan’s last blog post..Mommybloggers, Business, and why Parents Magazine hasn’t hired me. Yet.

  63. Dude its totally you as #2 on Boobs, injuries, and Dr.Pepper’s 80’s contest. I’m right right? Tell me Im right. It looks like your commenting on the photo so im just throwing it out here. Ya Im right.

    Is it still a link when all you know how to do is copy and paste?


    [jenny! jenny! jenny!]


    [echo! echo! echo!]


    Maggie, dammit’s last blog post..Honk if you?re an egomaniac!

  65. Lurid propositions and rough housing, I have been waiting for an invitation like that! Love your site. Have a great trip! It will give me a chance to read back. Thanks Maggie, dammit for the referal…

    Eighty eight’s last blog post..Confession – I have a blog crush

  66. C.H.U.D.

    pookie addams’s last blog post..Praise The Sweet Baby Jesus.

  67. i am loitering in your comment section. malingering. skulking. lurking. lollygagging. doing something close to nothing but, different from the day before. being a bit too leisurely.

    pookie addams’s last blog post..Praise The Sweet Baby Jesus.

  68. Jennnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

    Come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack, you saucy minx, you!

    Marmite Breath’s last blog post..Stuck Damn Record


    Love that picture of your daddy!

  70. get your ass back already. i’m lonely.

    jen’s last blog post..adieu (the path)

  71. Girl Power…

    A couple of truths: 1. The real health care decision making is made by women. 2. Women are way more apt to tell folks about the value of your service thru word of mouth marketing than men. 3. Women are……

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