I’m unplugging

in I pronounce it Pwerto Rrrreeeko, Random Crap, this blog cures cancer

Puerto Rico,
You lovely island . . .
Island of tropical breezes.
Always the pineapples growing,
Always the coffee blossoms blowing . . .
~West Side Story

Is that true about Puerto Rico?  I’ve no idea.  But I’m going to find out.

I’ll be back in a few days.  Feel free to use the comment section for lurid propositions and dangerous rough-housing.

PS.  Burglars?  My house will be protected by my large, bohemian father who is frighteningly unpredictable and likes to shoot things for fun. 

scaring-the-crap-out-of-his-grandkids1.jpg

And yes.  That really is my father.  And yes.  He really will kill all of you.

PS.  So far there’s only one real bid on my child’s quilted-vibrator-for-charity-art-piece.  Really?  You guys are going to let Oh My Stinkin Heck walk away with this gem for 5 bucks?  Shocking. 

Comment of the day:  You suck.  Don’t have fun. ~ Immoral Matriarch

71 thoughts on “I’m unplugging”

Read comments below or add one.

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  11. Dude… not only will Jenny’s father shoot you, he will stuff you and leave you as a present for when Jenny gets home.

    BTW – I’ve never been to PR, but I have relatives from there. Forever longing to return.

    Sayre’s last blog post..Up in the Air

  14. AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    Read THIS as an appetizer to your trip! Are you staying on the coast or venturing into Old San Juan? Cause you HAVE.TO. go to OSJ. YOU MUST!

    Crap…IT’S AMAZING AND I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON, but I won’t. Go see the stuff I mentioned. Walk a lot. It’s one of the most beautiful cities on the planet (and while I really haven’t visited many cities on the planet, I KNOW this to be true!)! The people there have so much PRIDE in their home–they LOVE to talk to you about it (even if you can’t understand a word sometimes).

    I cannot wait to hear what you think after the fact…call me, we’ll chat.

    Oh……and I just upped your kid’s art. It CAN’T go for $5 on my watch.

    🙂

    PENSIEVE’s last blog post..Standing sentry, Doctor’s top

  15. You mean unplugging in the theoretical sense right? Because ACTUALLY unplugging would be CRAZINESS. How does one survive without the lifeblood of the Internet? 😉

    Kyla’s last blog post..Unofficially.

  16. I guess you didn’t listen to the rest of that song…

    Puerto Rico . . .
    You ugly island . . .
    Island of tropic diseases.
    Always the hurricanes blowing,
    Always the population growing . . .

    Have a lovely time! Don’t come back with jungle rot!

    The Introvert’s last blog post..open letter to proactiv

  20. dude, your daddy has really nice teeth!
    enjoy PR and bring back lots of pictures and stories!

    jac’s last blog post..snip.

  21. when she says he’s bohemian, she really means it. err…at least that is what the holographic image of Jenny told me.

  24. let us hope your trip does not resemble the second verse of the West Side Story “America.”

    Puerto Rico, you ugly island,
    island of tropic diseases,
    always the hurricanes blowing,
    always the population growing,
    and the children crying,
    and the bullets flying.

    That would suck.

    I’m just jealous…kick ass Puerto Rico. Your dad looks like he would be fun to rob a bank with. You’d be all

    – c’mon Pa, it’s time to vaminos.

    and he’d be all up in a bank tellers face like,

    – Do you believe in heaven son?

    Awesome! I bet he is a very sweet man.

  25. Puerto Rico’s amazing! Was there last September and had a great time! Be sure and visit the forts because they’re incredible. Can’t wait to see the crazy posts that are going to come from the trip. You know we’re expecting them!

    Maybe your dad will catch that leprechaun for you and stuff it while you’re gone.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Hump Day Humor: Adventures Off the Pill

  27. Dad’s cute. I suppose he’s taken by Mom. *eyeroll* isn’t that always the way? PR is hot and gorgeous. Ramble around old town and go to the fortress, pretend you’re Bloggess of the world and not just the internet.

    Kimberlee’s last blog post..blogophobe to blogaholic.

  28. Have fun!!! Drink lots of rum!!! Run around in the sun!!! Don’t swim when they’re throwing chum!!! (Because it attracts sharks.)

    Those are all the “uhs” I can think of.

    ali’s last blog post..A BLATANT CHALLENGE

  31. Think how much you could get for that collage if you could only see the Virgin Mary somewhere in it.

    Although the art in itself might have taken care of the Virgin part.

    Jennifer H’s last blog post..Fireflies

  35. Dude! I am so jealous. Not about the Puerto Rico thing (because when I was there I was bitten, oh, 96,000 times by these awful no-see-um bugs and I scratched my legs to a pulp – awesome) but about the “your Dad could be a pirate” thing!

    My Dad could never be a pirate. Unless pirates suddenly becamse mild-mannered republicans.

    Wait, that’s even scarier than regular pirates! Argh!

    Hey did you ever hear the one about what the pirate said at his birthday party?

    “Aye matey!” (Pronounced I’m Eighty)

    Best. Joke. Ever.

    Sensitiva McFeelingsly’s last blog post..Weekend Update

  38. Spent a good chunk of my childhood in Puerto Rico. San Juan to be exact. Wish they still had bull fights. I only have one bad memory, but don’t think it is likely that you will be bit by a shark. My advice: swim where it is crowded.

    clickmom’s last blog post..dear kitty kitty

  39. The kid’s got to start somewhere. You should give her one of her actual vibrators and let her decopage (no friggin’ clue how to spell that…probably ‘cuz I’ve never doen it…it’s v-i-b-r-a-t-o-r rigt…what did you think I meant?)

    Greta’s last blog post..Biggest Loser Final Three

  40. Oh trust me, if they offered a Platinum Ticket I’d have bought it, especially if it offered a private date with Oliver. The twins give a lot of the money they make to charity so I’d be doing it for the kids!

    Yeah, right.

    Have a fruity-umbrella drink for me. Oh hell, just hit the rum.

    warcrygirl’s last blog post..Well, it IS called Phelps Anonymous?

  46. awww..you’re leaving without me again? What am I to do now? Think I can buy your dad off with cookies? >;-]
    *sings to you on your way out*
    “I like to be in A-mer-i-ca! okay by me in America! everything free in America!…for a small fee in America!” 😀

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..Fun With Letters – A Game for all

  50. Have fun! I’ve always wanted to go there, but have never known anyone who’s actually gone. Let us know if it’s all that’s it’s cracked up to be. Hubby owes me a vacation without kids.

    shuttle mom’s last blog post..Spring Cleaning Time

  54. I’ll miss you.

    Don’t stay away too long or despair will set in, the skies will grow dark and the dinosaurs will become extinct.

    What?

    They are already?

    Oh, well, have a great trip I guess.

    MammaLoves’s last blog post..The Lesser of Two Evils

  58. Hey, didn’t i see you at Peter Pan at the Miller Outdoor Theatre yesterday? I thought you were in Pureto Rico sippin’ cuba libras through phallyc shaped silly straws!!!

    pookie confused.

  59. I am incredibly jealous of 1) your vacation to Puerto Rico and 2) your ability to create such an interesting conversation among your commenters.

    This is entertainment.

    Sara’s last blog post..I Could Date A Doctor

  61. Checking out your dad again – he looks suspiciously like my cousin Stan. Complete with hat. If I didn’t know better, I’d say we were related (through my randy grandpa). Hmmm… maybe I don’t know better. That guy’s been just about everywhere. Who knows how many relatives I’ve got?

    Sayre’s last blog post..Thank God It’s Over

  62. Jenny, I am a master bidder. I’m not going to tip my hand early. I want this thing cheap.

    Then again, anything that includes your autographed vuh jay jay is worth a lot to me, er, I mean, to the charity to which I will be donating it. I’ll pay out the nose. For the kids. Or for the earth. What the hell is this for again?

    Velveteen Mind – Megan’s last blog post..Mommybloggers, Business, and why Parents Magazine hasn’t hired me. Yet.

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