Shut up, cats

I’m alive.  Barely.  I can hear cats whispering blocks away.  That’s how much my head hurts right now.  It’s probably from all the Puerto Rican sun and not from the fact that I drank half my weight in rum.

I swear I have amazing stories for you but right now I just need to lay my head down for a few minutes.

 Someone shut those fucking cats up.

A few pictures here if you just can’t wait.

PS.  I’m not a drug addict.  Thanks for asking.

Comment of the day:  Dude, when I’m in your position, I can hear people eating marshmallows.  Those marshmallow eating bastards are loud.  ~Type (little) a

31 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Glad you’re back, safe and sound.

    I could hear the cats on Saturday.

    Now… Go drink a glass of water, take two excedrin and two tums, and lay down!

    Gretchen’s last blog post..First Quilt

  2. I’m glad/surprised no one voted you off the island.

    furiousball’s last blog post..shark canoe

  3. Dude, when I’m in your position, I can hear people eating marshmallows.

    Damn those marshmallow eating bastards are LOUD.

    Welcome back.

    Type (little) a’s last blog post..Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  4. Isn’t it funny how rum makes for cats but vodka makes for crying babies, and wine makes for bees buzzing? That’s why I stick to whiskey: it’s more like a white noise.

    Noelle’s last blog post..Shelby was right, it looks like a brown football helmet

  5. Yay! You’re home. Now I can stop stalking your website and just hit refresh eleven billionty times. Kidding, I kid.
    Did you happen to bring home any extra rum with you? Because last night my f-i-l tried to kill me with a pork chop. And now I think I’m in mah last hours. Alcohol would probably help.

    FabGirl’s last blog post..And to Think We Let him Watch Our Kids (to this day*)

  6. We like to tempt my sister with the skin from cold oatmeal when she’s hungover. That, or the skin from gravy. Or runny eggs. Once, in Vegas, we made her go through the buffet line at a shift change at the Excalibur as punishment for getting trashed and flashing her tits at everyone in front of Caesar’s Palace instead of being at our niece’s rehearsal dinner.

    Mary’s last blog post..Bad TV Flashback

  7. Welcome back. So did you successfully broker the Puerto Rico Free Trade Act (PRFTA) while there, or did you forget that item on your agenda?

    Spamboy’s last blog post..I Am a Nasally Non-Nosferatu

  8. Glad you’re back! I’ve been sitting in the corner quietly crying because I missed you. Now I’m standing here waiting patiently for drunken Puerto Rican stories. Whenever you wake up…

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..I’m dreaming of a white April

  9. That’s too bad you’re not a drug addict because then we could be addicts together.

    Nikki’s last blog post..Yep, it’s another Fun Monday!

  10. So, I take it your cabbie didn’t drive you past the same “drugstore” ours did?

    Welcome home…I know you were happy to see your dildo artist.

    PENSIEVE’s last blog post..Recesses of Time

  11. screw you. i think i’ll go to spain with tex this weekend.

  12. I know the call of that rum…it is practically irresistible. Good thing you don’t live in my neighborhood. My cat is the world’s most annoying cat even when you’re completely sober. Thinks he’s Pavarotti, but he can’t sing. Try anointing yourself with lots of B complex and water. Feel better soon. Incredible pictures, by the way.

    Kat’s last blog post..The Arboretum

  13. Glad you’re back. Now I won’t have to feel like a loser going back through the archives to find a laugh. Or try to self-medicate because the daughter is getting too.grown-up.already. (Seriously. She went to prom. I can’t get past this. Oh, sorry. This blog is all about you. My bad.)

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..You Asked For It, You Got It *

  14. You drank 40 pounds of rum?

    Avitable’s last blog post..Embarrassing myself

  15. [quote]Now I’m standing here waiting patiently for drunken Puerto Rican stories.[/quote]

    Then you should probably move to New York City. They have more Puerto Ricans than Puerto Rico ever had, before they all moved to NYC.

  16. I’d feel bad for you about the headache and the cats, except for where you were. Ok, maybe I do feel a bit bad for you. But seriously, I’d kill for a vacation. Hey want some dead cats in trade for taking me in your suitcase next time?

    Kidding….sort of.

    Phoenix’s last blog post..5 Things and six words

  17. 17
    Just A. Reader

    We’re so glad you’re back! You don’t know what it’s like to have Bloggess withdrawals. Because you never leave yourself. Well, maybe, depending on how much drum you rink.

  18. I hope your head feels better soon, and that the cats shut the hell up.

    Mrs. G.’s last blog post..Liberation

  19. Oh good. So you took $y “lots of rum” suggestion and ran with it. Serves you right for going to PR when I was stuck at Passover with my in-laws. Ass****.

    Welcome back, and don’t let the cats get too brutal. I heard they were making fun of your drunken limbo.

    ali’s last blog post..The one where I piss off all the religious people

  20. I’m glad you’re finally back. I was having trouble finding ways to waste my time.

    The Introvert’s last blog post..who needs designers?

  21. i am glad you are home. the world is just a little bit righter now.


    pookIE Addams’s last blog post..Goodnight Melvin In Memorium

  22. Why don’t you try putting rum in the cat’s dish? I don’t know if it will help your head, but maybe the cats will know how you feel. They’ll be all…can someone shut Jenny the hell up? Meow.

    Greta’s last blog post..Maybe My Body is Trying to Tell Me Something?Mouthy Bi#@!

  23. I am surprised you managed to type, usually the sound y little metallic keyboard is enough to make me hurl. If I was there I’d bring you a Gatorade and some KFC. xx

  24. Welcome back. Rum is a fat old dirty whore. I think I am finally recovered from an experience I had with her OVER A WEEK AGO.

    I’m so glad you’ve finally been outed as a drug addict as I have a flatbed full of horse tranq with your name on it.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..In Other News…

  25. Freaking whispering cats. They are Ninjas you realise. They will sneak into your house with there freaky little ninja moves, wearing their little masks and crap in your shoes.

    Stupid freaking ninja cats whispering… the only way to defeat them is more rum.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Do. Not. Want.

  26. Cats are such bitches.

    Maggie, dammit’s last blog post..Just another dead kid to remember on my runs *(updated at bottom)*

  27. When I have migraines I can hear my cats walking.


    In the livingroom.

    Through closed doors.

    Migraines suck.

    I imagine that hangovers suck, too, but at least you got to have fun first. Welcome back!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..A Musical Interlude

  28. Since you quoted West Side Story before…Is it better here in Amare-Eee-Ka?

    Bueno writing, btw.

    stephanie’s last blog post..adventure girl around vegas

  29. Ummm, wait~ I’m only here because liv ASSURED me you were a drug addict? Mebee she meant alcoholic? If so, I’m in like Flynn for BlogHer – woohoo!

    qt’s last blog post..Trail Names & Totems

  30. Hey not to go off topic but can anyone give me overview of. New York Car Insurance Reform 295 Greenwich St, New York, NY 10007 (646) 351-0824 They can be down the block from me. I was wondering if they were a good insurance agency. I need to find coverage, it is regulations you know, but I need to have a good price price plus I’d prefer friendly service.

  31. 31
    Lady Penelope

    … when you can actually hear yourself blink and you lie and wait for the marshmallow eating bastards to come finish you off.

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