Phone conversation with my husband who is trying to destroy me:
Me: Can you watch Hailey this Wednesday?
Victor: Which Wednesday?
Me: This Wednesday.
Victor: ‘This’ Wednesday means the Wednesday of this week which has already passed. Did you mean next Wednesday?
Me: No. I mean THIS Wednesday, like this coming Wednesday. This very next Wednesday.
Victor: Yeah, that’s next Wednesday. This Wednesday was four days ago and no, I can’t watch Hailey four days ago.
Me: THIS wednesday implies that it’s the coming Wednesday. Wednesday four days ago was THAT Wednesday.
Victor: I think someone dropped you on your head when you were a kid.
Me: If it happens this next Wednesday then you call it “next Wednesday”.
Me: Dammit! You’ve mixed me up! I meant you call it ‘THIS Wednesday’. Gah! Can you just fucking watch her this Wednesday?!
Victor: Four days ago?
Me: * violently slamming the phone receiver on the desk *
Me (trying to sound calm): Sorry. Dropped the phone. What exactly do I need to say to have you say ‘Yes’?
Victor: “Next wednesday”.
Me: *Sigh* Can you please watch Hailey…next Wednesday?
Comment of the day: I don’t understand how he lived this long. I killed my husband about a year ago for the same kind of conversation and now his stuffed body sits at his computer and agrees with me ALL THE TIME. MY MARRIAGE ROCKS! ~ Motherbumper