So apparently a plane flew over this uncontacted Amazon tribe to take pictures of them and to not contact them at all except to scare the shit out of them and possibly give them untreatable Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But that isn’t the big news. This is the big news:
Bingo. The second tiny sasquatch sighting in one week. I think God is trying to tell me something. Possibly that I’m being punished for letting Hailey play with the tiny Jesus action figure I bought as a joke. I totally told her it was Jesus though so I should get points for that. Not my fault that she’s under the impression that Jesus is a superhero who can fly and uses “his accessories” to deflect lazer beams shot at him from the Wonder Pets.
Clarification: When I say “his accessories” I mean his tiny plastic bowl filled with miniature loaves and fishes which…actually is pretty funny. Very clever, tiny-Jesus-producers. I bet when you read “his accessories” you thought I meant his ballsack. I would never talk about Jesus’ ballsack, people. It’s called “decorum”. I have a little.
PS. This is where I lose all of my new Christian readers. I know. You’re all “You don’t have any Christian readers” but yeah, I actually do. This super popular Christian guy wrote about me and now The Bloggess keeps showing up on Christian blogrolls wedged between “For His Glory” and “The Lord, He is risen”. It’s shocking and awesome. Much like one of the Christian blogs that I clicked on that had a bunch of dead baby pictures. Which was not actually awesome at all. Just horribly, horribly disturbing. But now that I think about it, in comparison to the dead baby pictures this blog is probably not so shocking to Christians. Except for the tiny sasquatch stuff. That shit is mind-blowing.