I'm fine. (Updated – No, I'm not.)

in I am totally overrated, mixing medications, stuff better left unpublished

I was just in the office bathroom I saw this folded scrap of toilet paper on the floor and it looked like a perfect little man’s leg.  Like the pant, knee, shoe…the works.  And I was like…”Is it possible that someone made this little origami man leg out of toilet paper and left it here for me to discover?”  And then I thought, “No.  Probably not.”  And that’s how I figured out that my medication was working.

PS.  This post only makes sense if you have been on drugs to make you less crazy and have had that moment of clarity when you realize that what you are thinking is probably kind of crazy and it makes you less crazy for being able to recognize that you are being irrational and realize that some mad toilet-paper-origami-artist probably did not actually leave you a bizarre gift on the bathroom floor and you don’t need to pick it up and bring it to your coworkers so they can see its genius, but that you are still unstable enough to blog about it (in case there really is an artist leaving dismembered limb origami in public bathrooms) and also to write the longest run-on sentence in the history of the world.

So I guess what I’m saying is, you know…yay for slightly-less-crazy.

Yay.

Updated:  Okay, so many of you asked for pictures that I got my camera out of the car to photograph the tiny origami dismembered leg but when I went back in the bathroom it totally looked different so I thought maybe it got kicked into a different position so I’m hunched over, walking around it with a camera trying to find the original angle and then I realize that it’s not even the same piece of toilet paper.  Then I see myself in the mirror standing in a public bathroom with my giant camera, circling a random piece of toilet paper so I can post a picture of it on the internet to prove that it looks like a tiny dismembered leg.  Then someone walks in.  On me.  At my job.  In the bathroom.  With a camera. 

Awesome. 

Thanks, internets.  Now I’m even more fucked up than I was before.

Comment of the day: Didn’t you hear about this tragedy on the news? That origami man had a wide stance, and the lady before you ripped his leg off with her fat foot. He died en route to the hospital of massive urine loss. If only you had picked up that leg and taken it to the hospital, you could have saved his life. ~MommasTantrum

103 thoughts on “I'm fine. (Updated – No, I'm not.)”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Hey, or maybe there’s sort of not-so-secret-but-still-secret-enough-that-you-don’t-know-about-it cannibal hookup signal that involves leaving origami men’s legs on the floor and by not picking it up, you narrowly missed triggering the I’m-volunteering-for-you-to-eat-me signal.

    That was lucky.

    ktjrdn’s last blog post..Dancing Queen

  3. my lexapro has been keeping my emotional chin up and one of the nice side effects has been i now have porn star like stamina in the bedroom. but then my doctor upped my dosage and now, i’m it’s more like bored porn star stamina.

    so i’ve come to the conclusion that mormons have multiple wives because of this. that’s right all mormons are pill-poppin’ fuck machines.

    btw, how do you pronounce ktjrdn? is that swedish or something?

  4. my lexapro has been keeping my emotional chin up and one of the nice side effects has been i now have porn star like stamina in the bedroom. but then my doctor upped my dosage and now, i’m it’s more like bored porn star stamina.

    so i’ve come to the conclusion that mormons have multiple wives because of this. that’s right all mormons are pill-poppin’ fuck machines.

    btw, how do you pronounce ktjrdn? is that swedish or something?

    furiousball’s last blog post..Spoooon!

  6. That’s just what bathroom origami man wants you to think. He’s going to start leaving you a present every day to break you down.

    The Introvert’s last blog post..hail CHS

  7. I’m going to put this in my collection of fabulous run on sentences. Is it obvious that I’m off my meds? No? Just checking.

    witchypoo’s last blog post..The Queen

  8. There are all sorts of levels and plateaus of craziness.

    But did you ever stop and think that maybe you’re crazier for NOT running out of the bathroom with your origami toilet paper and showing everyone, ’cause hey, what sane person would keep such a thing to herself?

    See, my medication, so not working.

  10. I had to recently up my Zoloft. Not sure why. I’m blaming it on the baby weight? Not my baby, who I love, but the weight her womb condo brought along and left like some abandoned trailer. And I’m talking double-wide people.

    What were we talking about?

    Amy in Ohio’s last blog post..Clinton can you hear me?

  11. I am jealous of your slightly-less-crazy. Someday I hope to achieve that nirvana.

    Beware if tiny origami legs start hopping after you when you leave the bathroom.

    markira’s last blog post..Latest Car Woes

  12. Um crazy meds or not, you couldn’t take a picture of the perfect, little, man-pant-leg origami and post it for those of us who aren’t less crazy than you?

    Robin’s last blog post..Friday follies

  14. YAY! if i could make my crazy dreams into movies or even novels, i’d be living the life I so richly deserve. but they would be scary to have to write.

    always, buddy’s last blog post..more dreams

  17. And I was just in the home bathroom, and saw little clods of damp toilet paper slowly decomposing in puddles of water, and a smiling toddler standing above it all with a wet shirt. And I thought to myself, “Is it possible that someone sprinkled water around my bathroom and left me their toddler to find? One that I can give back without drying her off first?” And then I thought “No, probably not.” And I proceeded to clean up the toilet water that was all over the floor and her body and her clothes, without losing my temper. And that’s how I figured out that I still have some mom-patience left.

    PS This is an honest-to-God true story from just an hour ago.

    MommyTime’s last blog post..What the Redwings’ Win Means to Me

  19. Hello?! Next time take a picture, please. You may be nice and rational now, but some of us are still crazy enough to want to see the origami midget-man limb.

    Melissa’s last blog post..Hat Momy

  22. I had a psych professor who once theorized in class that perhaps the only difference between people who have psychotic breaks and those who don’t is the mechanism you just described:

    Everyone has bizarre thought process, but some of us say, “whoa – brain fart.” And let it go.

    While others start the hunt to find the Army of Toilet Paper Men.

    anne nahm’s last blog post..I Have Been Informed I am a Hasshole

  24. My husband is right there with you on the bathroom sighting crazy train.

    At one point, he swore he could see a dog in the bath towel that’s right in front of the toilet. Apparently, it comes back even when we change the towels. So, we have a dog living in our bathroom towels. He is sure he’s seen it.

    I am not blessed with the crazy enough to see it myself.

    Jessica’s last blog post..Ladies and gentlemen, we have a remote.

  26. Hey – after reading your post and all the comments it is nice to find other nearly-crazy-used-to-be-crazy-now-medicated-almost-normal people besides myself! And the fact that you aren’t ashamed to admit this in public is awesome and inspiring! Maybe one day I’ll be ready for that step, but for now it’s a secret…. Run-on sentences are good for the soul.

    Becky’s last blog post..It’s June already!

  27. here’s a scary thought: maybe you’re just delusional enough to believe that you are less crazy because you caught that. Maybe that was all just an illusion and there wasn’t even an origami toilet paper leg there, or that you never went into the bathroom at all.

    Nah.

    Probably it was left there by an origami ninja.

    Maggie’s last blog post..By Contrast…

  31. You know, it’s when I read your posts that I realize I’m not as wordy as I think I am. Because “you’re a frigging RIOT” is pretty much all I can ever come up with as a comment here.

    mary’s last blog post..A tiny bit

  32. great. now I’m worried. I mean, what do you think they did with the rest of his body? or … maybe little origami man has fallen down and can’t get up somewheres because his fake leg fell off and then the janitress swept it so far he couldn’t reach it. Or swept him into the garbage. great. like I don’t have enough to worry about.

    Kimberlee’s last blog post..slightly buggy.

  34. Just started trazodone here. All good except for the waking dreams. Like how I was sitting on the couch next to my husband and we were discussing my dyslexic son and I made some analogy about how helping him read is like having a balloon on it’s last day of helium and you want it to float across the room and you have to blow on it but it keeps sinking lower so you have to blow harder and “regular” people w/out dyslexia don’t need anyone to blow them.

    See…I THOUGHT I said that out loud but really only said it in my head. Oh fuck, wait…

    Greta/Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat’s last blog post..Cheese-Flavored Cockroach…anyone??

  36. I’m pretty sure you’re wrong and that someone did INDEED leave a small severed origami limb for you to find on the bathroom floor. It happens all the time. Random Origami Dismemberment they call it. Those in the know call it ROD.

    mike’s last blog post..TT – Yes, again!

  37. Is this kind of like when I step on an ant and I imagine the little ant community doing a little ant news broadcast about the day, like.. “In other news, today we lost Tom, to the bottom of a tommy hilfiger flip flop. We believe it was a size 8. This is the 657,567,235th squashing this week. Statistics show if this trend continues, we will all have to be on high alert”. Or is that just me?

  38. Did you see PS I Love you? If you didn’t, don’t, you’ll cry. But if you did, the part where Nellie McKay says she wishes she had a dead guy writing to her telling her what to do? Well, I wish I had someone making me little Charmin origami men, truly I do.
    I think, upon rereading this comment, because I am neurotic like that, I ought not comment after a morning entirely alone with nothing but a nursing baby and loads of Starbucks coffee to keep me company. Oh ya, I breastfeed while caffeinated, a little leche ole for the baby.
    Oh. My. God. Ending ridiculous comment now.

    amanda’s last blog post..When words fail

  39. I didn’t have a crush on furiousball until JUST NOW.

    Of course,I’ve always had a crush on you. In fact, it was me. I was the one who left the origami little man. Can’t believe you just freaking left it there.

    Jennifer H’s last blog post..Goodnight Bush

  42. Okay, I just tried to take a picture of it. See the update in the post for details.

    I hope you’re happy.

    PS. I have tears running down my face from some of these comments. Good tears. Mostly.

  47. Yay for less crazy! Although your crazy gives me comfort that I’m not the only crazy. And if I had walked in on you, I totally would have helped you with lighting and picture composition. I’m into bathroom art.

    SassyPants’s last blog post..My Sunshine

  48. That’s some talent your co-workers have there.

    Mine just leave pee droplets all over the seat.

    Jennifer H, Furiosball’s comment just gave his screen-name a whole new meaning now didn’t it?

    Catizhere’s last blog post..He’s going to hate me

  49. What are you taking? And can I have some? Our bathrooms are pretty disgusting so I wouldn’t mind seeing something that interesting. Actually, even seeing something like that outside of a bathroom would totally rock.

    Felicity’s last blog post..Living a privileged life

  51. I know what you’re taking and seriously – do you carry your card with you?

    I didn’t think that was legal in texas.

    btw, that was not origami. it was probably not even toilet paper. i am guessing it was tampon wrapper. which you were leaning over to pick up because you had just run out of rolling papers.

    oh. have i said too much?

    gwendomama’s last blog post..Check Out My Finger Nipple

  53. LOL! That’s freakin’ hilarious. I just totally laughed out loud at my desk, especially after reading the update. Only thing funnier would have been had I walked in on you taking pictures of toilet paper in your work bathroom. I’m sure that would have been great.

    No worries, the medication will kick in EVENTUALLY, and you won’t even notice the toilet paper on the floor. 🙂

    Aunt GiGi’s last blog post..Addicted to eBay…

  55. I have those moments. Like when I, in all honesty, saw my neighbor at the Mexican joint up the road and thought he was stalking me. I, having no control, blurted out “Are you stalking me” and he was all “Um, no, we’re neighbors” and I was all “oh, yeah. That’s right”.

  56. I feel you should know that I saw another tiny sasquatch today. It was in a mock-motivational poster… Not sure what it was doing, but it was definitely a tiny sasquatch.

    I will take my laptop into the bathroom to take a picture with my camera.

    Wait, no I won’t.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Friday Top Takeaways

  57. You can blame your new reputation at work on Robin. Or Robyn. You can tell everybody you were just trying to gather photographic evidence for someone who doesn’t even know which way her name is spelled. Now who’s crazy? Hmmm?

  58. I don’t even know what to say to that. Get your camera right now…go BACK into that bathroom and at the very least get a picture of yourself gazing down at toilet paper. I mean, we need SOMETHING…

    Kathy’s last blog post..PEEPS!!

  60. Oh, we’ve all been there, trying to get the right light so that we can photograph the image of Elvis that miraculously appeared on a piece of toast or something so that we can blog about it.

    Lady M’s last blog post..Poor Impulse Control

  61. If a man were found in the bathroom with a camera, they’d all just shrug and figure he’d parked a gigantic coil that was so monumental it needed photographic documentation.

    They get away with EVERYTHING.

    Mary’s last blog post..My Blog’s Fixin’ to Gradumicate

  64. You really have no idea how much I adore you when you talk like that do you?? You and little Mister Fancy-Pants…less, um, Legless?

    Do you suppose they were slacks or jeans? Slacks would be nice…

  67. I know I shouldn’t laugh at crazy people, its rude and insensitive. But I’m laughing right now – mostly because I see stuff like your origami terlet paper dude too and so far no one has caught on that I might need meds. It was the camera in the bathroom that really tipped the scales from viwepoint of a creative genius to barking up the batsa bush, But I’m still okay with that.
    Don’t go changin…!

    we_be_toys’s last blog post..Because I’m The Greatest

  69. Didn’t you hear about this tragedy on the news? That origami man had a wide stance, and the lady before you ripped his leg off with her fat foot. He died en route to the hospital of massive urine loss. If only you had picked up that leg and taken it to the hospital, you could have saved his life.

    MommasTantrum’s last blog post..He Fought The Birds…and The Birds Won

  70. so i was thinking i might actually be ok and could start weening myself off my medicine. but then i read this and pictured myself doing the exact same thing (because i SO would)

    i think i’ll stay on the meds a while longer

    Biddy’s last blog post..tano

  71. oh it’s dismembered limb origami art findings that force me to take my camera phone into the bathroom with me every time.

    that and i’m terrified of getting locked in

    Biddy’s last blog post..tano

  72. 1) you’re not unworthy. 70 comments on three minutes in the bathroom. you got some mad skills you origami mommy.

    2) don’t pick stuff up off of public bathrooms.

    3) crazy is relative. we get it from our family.

    always, buddy’s last blog post..Jennifer Love’s Boobies

  73. I’m not unstable enough to blog about my crazy, but I am unstable enough to leave comments outing my crazy by acknowledging that I understand other people’s control over their crazy.

    mothergoosemouse’s last blog post..Know when to say when

  76. I once spent an hour and a half in the bathtub examining the woodwork on our cabinets because I thought it looked like Jesus. I didn’t actually think it was a sign from God or anything, I just had this brief moment where I could imagine our tiny duplex surrounded by the truebelievers, all there to take turns sitting in my bathtub to see Jesus. (My husband probably would have run concessions to make as much as he could off the suckers.)

    Turns out, the truebelievers would have had to take the same amount of codeine I took after having my wisdom teeth removed, if they really wanted to see Jesus from my bathtub.

    bejewell’s last blog post..Stuff I Don’t Get, Installment 3

  77. I wish you’d taken a picture of yourself with the camera in the mirror. That would have been way cool! What a sight! Walking into the RR and finding someone in there with a camera. I’m sorry, but I would be freaked out by that. But then again I’ve been scared of restrooms ever since I was a little girl and I saw “Blow Out.” I always get nervous when I’m by myself in a public RR and someone else walks into the stall next to me. Now that’s crazy!

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Vacation in the Big Easy

  78. If a man were found in the bathroom with a camera, they’d all just shrug and figure he’d parked a gigantic coil that was so monumental it needed photographic documentation.

    You’d think a person could carry a camera into a bathroom whenever he wanted. But no. One bathroom visit with a camera gets you labeled a pervert. You have to register with the government and put signs in your front yard for the rest of your fucking life!

    Or so I’ve heard.

  80. I was at work the other day and some bitch didn’t flush. I swear the thing bobbing in the water winked and waved.

    Can you send me some of those drugs please? Cause I went back and it smiled at me again…

    Unless it was a tiny dog. Ooooh, what if it was a tiny floating dog? I so want a tiny floating dog. Should I go back and fetch it?

    Kelley’s last blog post..Plurk, it sounds like vomit.

  87. the truth is: the origami is real and you should have showed your co-workers, which probably further proves that the meds are not working; therefore, by presenting this story to your doc he will invariably see that the mg he/she prescribed is inadequate.

    then again, maybe i should be taking meds.

    carry on…

  94. Ahhh yes…that old black magic called…”insight”. Been there done that. It’s when you don’t have it that you’re really in trouble

  95. So, basically you’re telling me that there’s a little paper man out there running around wearing a shirt and no pants? Or maybe he’s not running around at all. Maybe he’s on the underside of one of your shoes. In that case it’s probably too late for CPR.

    apathy lounge’s last blog post..Pardon My Ennui

  98. always late for the party. I did have something similar happen several weeks ago. I was at work. I went to brush my teeth. I squeezed the tube and just before the brush reached my mouth I realized it was a perfect.. I mean perfect replica of a penis.

    I stared at it for a few minutes — then I walked it down the stairs to my female manager. I said, “Look.” She made a face at me and said “What…?” And then she looked closer and said “Oh my G@wwwd”. So I kept walking with my toothbrush and toothpaste over to one of the ‘younger’ women I work with. I showed her and she responded… ” So its toothpaste.. what the… OH my G@wwwwd” They were both severely impressed with my artistic talents.

    I started back up the stairs and my manager said, “You aren’t going to put that in your mouth are you?”

    And then I forgot to take a picture.

    Pamela’s last blog post..Laundry Day

  99. Pingback: And the award goes to… «

  100. At least your meds have given you some inner monologue. I lost mine sometime around my last dose of Cymbalta last week. So all that freaky talk is just coming out of my mouth, unedited. When I explained that to my kids so it wouldn’t freak them out, one of the girls said, “So, you’re saying you don’t make weird, random comments when you take your meds?” Little beeyotch. I’ll laugh when she gets her first Zoloft script. Hey, I’ve only TYPED this, not actually SAID IT OUT LOUD. I rock!

    Dolanmama’s last blog post..Joy-fully Ignorant

  102. I know I’m years late to this, but I just found your site and went back to all the old posts, and this one? This one made me laugh so hard I think I ruptured something. I know I stopped breathing for a few moments, and my husband thought I was choking, but I couldn’t breathe to explain that no, I was not, so all I could to was wheeze pathetically and drool uncontrollably while I pointed to the computer screen. So, upshot of this long and badly written comment is- I love you, and want you to be my new best friend.

    Also, I haven’t actually slept in something like 26 hours, so this may only be highly funny, and not life threateningly hilarious, but I’m betting I would still laugh till I drooled even if I was well rested. Were well rested? If I actually slept. That’s it.

  103. Poor Origami Man (as he is known to his friends) has leprosy (and apparently does not know he’s in the Ladies room).
    Do NOT sit down. Slowly back out of the cubicle. Wash your hands and leave.

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