She probably even looked hotter after she died because you automatically lose like 2 pounds when you void your bowels

If the evil Queen from Snow White was magical enough to turn herself into an old hag to give Snow White the poison apple then why didn’t she just use her magic to make her self look exactly like Snow White but like with bigger boobs?  Also, even after Snow White was dead she was still so sexy that the dwarves put her in a glass coffin so they could ogle her dead body so technically she was still the fairest in the land.  I bet when the Queen was all “Who’s the fairest now, bitch?” the magic mirror was like “Yeah, there is a rotting corpse in the woods that’s hotter than you”.  If I was the queen I’d throw acid in the faces of everyone prettier than me and I’d also carry a scythe to chop off the knees of anyone who could beat me in the standing long jump too because I’m pretty kick-ass at that and you have to have something besides sexiness to fall back on.

I just had two xanax but I’m pretty sure this all makes sense.

Comment of the day: I’ve always wondered about the glass coffin. It’s more like a zombie terrarium. ~ Aprylsantics

129 replies. read them below or add one

  1. That’s exactly what I think every damn time I’m forced sit through Snow who-the-fuck-is-that-innocent White.

    AmyAnne’s last blog post..My Poor Karate Kid

  2. The whole snow white story is creepy to me.
    I mean really!

    Dr. Wright
    The Wright Place TV Show
    http://www.wrightplacetv.com
    http://www.twitter.com/drwright1

    Dr Wright’s last blog post..SCE Bidding Opportunity

  3. Hi. I love your blog. It’s pretty.

    Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..Economics and Guilt

  4. Wait, so you have to go to the bathroom before you die?

    Marinka’s last blog post..Why Can’t Everyone Sleep in their Own Damn House?

  5. Really? I think, God, this annoying whiney woman who is willing to clean house for seven little dwarf-men while whistling and who is dumb enough to eat an apple handed to her by the haggiest hag she’s ever seen kind of deserves to die.

    anymommy’s last blog post..Home Cold Home

  6. *wonders if i should mention that my profile photo is supposed to be of snow white*

    kerry’s last blog post..Q: you know what’s fun?

  7. Good questions, all. I believe Walt Disney has all the answers, but alas, he is dead. He is so dead that a sloppy kiss from a happy prince won’t even help him at this point. This is all so sad. Now I’m glum. Want a bite of my apple?

    juliejulie’s last blog post..Living with Brilliance

  8. I’ve always wondered about the glass coffin. It’s more like a zombie terrarium.

  9. I haven’t had any xanax but it still makes sense.

    Also, I just saw Pinocchio, digitally restored (no pun intended) and that movie totally reads like a How To video for NAMBLA.

    sweatpantsmom’s last blog post..Doing our part to stimulate the economy

  10. why indeed. you’d think the witch would be smart enough to think of that logic, but alas….then the movie wouldn’t be as…creepy…as it is.

    your invisible pixie’s last blog post..25….

  11. 11
    Michael from Seattle

    You keep bragging about the wicked cool drugs you get to take but you never offer to share! That’s just not nice. Didn’t your mother teach you better…?

  12. Huh, so you know how they talk about your “soul” weighing 20 ounces or something like that (there was a movie about this that I haven’t seen with Naomi Watts, I think) — turns out that’s really piss? Or, good god, your soul is actually piss? (Or crap?) I need 2 xanax.

  13. 13
    Just A. Reader

    Poison apples for all!

  14. I really need to stop saving up my prescription drugs for “emergencies”.

    Shmoo’s last blog post..The Stimulus Flow

  15. My evil plan, is to somehow use my powers to make all the cheerleaders I went to high school with old and fat and plagued by rug rats and broken dreams– Oh wait, I did that last week.

    pseudosu’s last blog post..SuckWOW = not enough suck, or WOW so far…

  16. I bust my ass every day working out and trying to eat right, and you tell me I can lose 2 pounds in the blink of an eye when I kick it? Fucking figures. Life IS a bitch.

    Lisa Walsh’s last blog post..I’m Going To Quit My Job & Take Up Eating

  17. I totally never got the whole “Snow White” deal. I mean, hmm..you just wake up from a coma, then you’re gonna go marry a stranger? Really?

    Seraphim’s last blog post..Holy Hell.

  18. Oh, and Marinka?

    Its not “before” you die. When you die, you automatically lose everything in your bowels. Piss and poo!

    Seraphim’s last blog post..Holy Hell.

  19. Best. Opening. Line. EVER.

    That post made so much sense my childhood just exploded.

    Miss Milk’s last blog post..Well, I’m lucky…

  20. Snow White took it from behind.

  21. OK, I always thought you were a little bit scary but Backpacking Dad’s comment is a lot scary.

    Sylvia’s last blog post..The Perfect Margarita

  22. Xanax makes everything make sense. I heart you.

  23. Um…Maybe two xanax is not quite enough?

    derfina’s last blog post..Request

  24. Yet another completely unrealistic lesson in life and love that Disney has passed onto poor girls everywhere. And rich ones, too. They are equal opportunity bad lesson givers.

    Jen E @ mommablogsalot’s last blog post..Giveaway Alert: Meeup Baby Carrier

  25. 25
    I can't read my nametag

    Your question: “If the evil Queen from Snow White was magical enough to turn herself into an old hag to give Snow White the poison apple then why didn’t she just use her magic to make her self look exactly like Snow White but like with bigger boobs?”

    My question: “If the evil Queen from Snow White was magical enough to turn herself into an old hag to give Snow White the poison apple then why didn’t she just use her magic to invent Xanax so she didn’t give a shit about Snow White?”

  26. First !

    Secret Spineless Whiner’s last blog post..A Featured Whine. Now With Nipples

  27. You are now running a close 2nd to Karen Walker (of Will and Grace, naturally) on my list of people-I-want-to-be-but-in-own-original-and-much-more-amazing-way.

    You’re only 2nd because A.) She’s fictional…sssoooo maybe not as creepy for me to want to be her? Or is it more creepy? Hmm. Anyway and B.) I’m new to your blog but I think you have like a lot of kids…

  28. That is some fine critical analysis.

  29. Are you certain that was Xanax? 😛

  30. The Queen really had low expectations. The fairest in the land? Why not the fairest in the world? The universe! You can’t tell me some backwoods scullery maid would beat out a Miss Brazil. No way.

    Dingo’s last blog post..I Should’ve Used A Car Wash

  31. I trump you: a fistfull of dexatrim max, red bull/vodka and just for funsies I threw in a laxative.

    *This* post, was pure brilliance.

    And the last blog that will show up under this, is about me teaching religion. THAT’S brilliance and great timing.

    traci’s last blog post..Tales From a Religion School Teacher

  32. YIKES! Put the Snow White tape down and step away from the xanax! Or you could just throw away the tape and send your unused supply here!

  33. you just reminded me to take mah pillz…because they are just so fun.

    DesignHER Momma’s last blog post..Checking off the bucket list in Nashville

  34. Perhaps the dwarves were more into ass than tits…

  35. I think if I was a wicked queen I would enchant the goddamn mirror to just lie.

    Kurt’s last blog post..PopTart© Ninja Lawyers Attack!

  36. That’s it… I’m going to have to start doing drugs before posting because this is some fucking brilliant shit…

    allybspeakin.blogspot.com

    Ally B’s last blog post..No Competition

  37. Hell, let’s go one better. If she was such an evil queen, why did she hire an out of work wrestler to take Snow White out into the woods when she could have done the evil deed herself and saved herself the time and hassle of dealing with dwarfs, woodland creatures and a shitload of useless animation? All evil needs a contingency plan. Don’t they teach that in Evil 101?

    Sprite’s Keeper’s last blog post..HASAY: I have an excuse! (Actually, five of them!)

  38. Let’s face it, Queen Grimhilde (I looked it up) was a total, control-freak, type-A nutjob. I mean, all this drama over who’s hotter? And the poison apple and shape-changing? Come on! Way too convoluted. This is the sort of personality that keeps letting James Bond escape. If Bond or Snow White ever had to deal with a decent, reasonably sane villain, they wouldn’t last five minutes.

    Steve’s last blog post..Science!

  39. I know, what’s with the glass coffin? Freaky dude.
    And for Xanax…that is wild shit. Just one got me all zoned.
    But two Bloggess? You go girlfriend!

  40. YOU are kickass at the standing long jump? Because I am kickass at the standing long jump. I challenge small children all the time, just so they know what’s what. I think we should take xanax together and have a standing long jump competition. But that might make us tired, so maybe we should have a sitting long jump competition instead. And some gravy.

    penne’s last blog post..Let your fingers do the walking.

  41. I love this sick little piece of internet.

  42. Well, yeah, I think the dwarves are ass men because it’s easier to reach.

  43. Maybe the guys at Disney realized this and that’s why they made the Octopus chick in The Little Mermaid smart enough to make her the evil twin of Ariel… only they still didn’t make her as hot… so maybe they really aren’t that bright.

    Abby’s last blog post..#27 – Day 66

  44. Dude. You know she had sex with all seven of the dwarfs. Which makes her some kind of sex fetishist.

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..It’s Up To Me To Stay Drug Free

  45. I’ve had a few beers but it makes total sense to me.

    If it had Teen Wolf, a shive and shilleleigh it would make waaaaay more sense.

    But here’s the thing…. Even though I comment on here I know it’s all reverse psychology and you’re really my biggest fan.

    So you can come clean now… But only if clean means that you can still take Xanax and Meth and I can drink beer.

    the end.

    Betsey’s last blog post..Wolf Man’s Got Nuggets!

  46. She could have just gotten a mirror who knew how to lie better too.

    Heather’s last blog post..Proving Once and For All that She is Her Father’s Daughter

  47. Dude, do you even know how to use a scythe? Those fuckers are ADVANCED MAYHEM. You may want to downgrade to something more user friendly, like an axe. Or a knife.

    Tracy Lynn’s last blog post..Trust Me, You Do Not Want To Know What I Think. For Serious.

  48. I just realized that, in my hurry to advise you on suitable implements for mayhem, I totally missed out on the comments about midget sex. Serves me right.

    Tracy Lynn’s last blog post..Trust Me, You Do Not Want To Know What I Think. For Serious.

  49. RIGHT?!?! I guess when your evil you lose a few brain cells?

    Karen’s last blog post..Um, Ew

  50. “Yeah, there is a rotting corpse in the woods that’s hotter than you”

    How did I live for so long before discovering your blog? Seriously, how?

  51. favorite line regarding snow white:

    “although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy”

    Maddie’s last blog post..Karma is a bitch, but I am a bigger one. Part II

  52. and why doesn’t Cinderella tell her step-mother and sisters to suck it? and why don’t they recognize her even though she has on a different dress? and why aren’t there any other women in the whole damn kingdom with the same shoe size? and why don’t the idiot fairies bring Aurora back to the castle on the day AFTER her 16th birthday? or instead of burning all the spinning wheels they could have just shown her one and said “dude, this is a spindle, for fuck’s sake don’t touch it!”?
    Why yes, I do also have a 5 year old girl.

    EdenSky’s last blog post..Breastfeeding Nazis Can Bite My Left Tit.

  53. Makes perfect sense to me….cept if Snow White had an acid face, then the mirror would be like, “Ooh, that Cinderella chick is pretty HAWT”

    Cameron’s last blog post..Local Author Gives An Interesting Perspective

  54. I’m positive it still makes sense.

    Miss Grace’s last blog post..Benjamin-a

  55. It does make sense, and I know what I’m talking about, because I just won a Major Award (like, national!) and I’m happy and stuff… But I also did NOT win one category, and I think I’m going to have to, um, prevent the winner from entering anything next year. Plus I’m getting a fancy medal, which I am really happy about, but I’m already planning on disassembling jealous squirrels and using their tails to shine my medal. So? Acid and scythes? Flawless logic.

  56. How is a scythe different from a katana?

    mrtl’s last blog post..The Furlough Song

  57. Jenny the Bloggess is a dab hand with a scythe and a kick-ass long jumper.

    Cassandra the Butterfly is an awesome high-jumper and knows her way around swords.

    I challenge you to a battle of athletic skills with medieval weapons.

    It will be awesome.

    Cassandra (M.Butterfly)’s last blog post..List-o-mania: Weird Injuries and Alternate Monikers

  58. I’m glad I’m not the only one who ponders shit like this.

    This won’t make any sense unless you’ve read all of the previous comments:

    It was 21 Grams, not 20 ounces.

    I’ve heard Vern Troyner, the dude that played Mini Me, is hung. Like literally a third leg.

    The difference between a scythe and a katana is that they’ll never make a cell phone called The Scythe.

    April’s last blog post..Happy birthday to That Crazy Mom

  59. 2 Xanax plus meth. No wonder you are coming up with this stuff.

    Sheila’s last blog post..Partied like Rockstars.

  60. 60
    NotUsingMyRealName

    Hey, I just had 2 Xanaxes, Xanaxi, two totem poles and I am totally there with you on Snow White and the Witch issue

    However, you could have made her relationship with the seven little men clearer.

  61. 61
    Nouveau Decadent

    This seems like one of those posts that you work on at work in a flash of madness genius. However, in this case, you would ask someone at work how to spell “scythe” and they would slowly back out of the room.

  62. I’m sorry, I’m lost.

    Could someone direct me to the Nancy W. Kappes blog?

    Sharkey!’s last blog post..The End Is Nigel

  63. YEAH! What you said. Except PHEW, so glad you’re prettier than me because I’ve heard that acid hurts pretty bad. Oh and I can’t jump at all, so please, put down the axe.

    Jessica (from It’s my life…)’s last blog post..Mastering the laundry makes me feel so accomplished

  64. OMG, are you from a cooler universe than the rest of us are from? You’re totally on, here… who would want a poopy, undead teenager whose powers are causing birds to break out into song when he could have a powerful sorceress? DUH!

  65. Can I take you home with me? I mean, I don’t have any kids and I’m living with my parents right now and all, but sometimes one of us manages to cook a decent meal and I can be funny every now and then given the right mixture of boredom and meds.

    Teresa’s last blog post..And Now for Something Completely Similar to Every Other Post I’ve Written Recently

  66. Xantax. Lucky.

    How to Party with an Infant’s last blog post..Grammy Thoughts

  67. maybe I need to take a Xanax and read it again?
    😛

    flutter’s last blog post..A lifetime of walls between us

  68. I just tested some of these ideas about the gaping holes in the plot of Snow White with my 6 year old. She just looked at me as though I’m completely insane.

    Which just about sums up the whole thing, I think.

    Ian Peatey’s last blog post..Conflict is not the problem

  69. I dunno, man. I’m personally still stuck trying to figure out why the hell the bird from Thumbelina didn’t just fly her back home from the beginning when he clearly had enough energy to fly her to some clearing in the middle of the woods at the end of the goddamn movie. WHERE IS THE LOGIC, DISNEY? (… That. That was Disney, right? Or was that just Don Bluth?)

  70. What I don’t understand is why the Queen had to turn herself into such an ugly old woman. I mean, if a woman like that turned up at my door, I certainly wouldn’t eat anything she offered. In one of the different artistic renderings, she has one eye that is so huge, it looks like it is going to pop out. I am sorry, that is not something I want to see when I eat.

  71. Ok, this is bugging me. Could you edit the title and put the “even” before “hotter”? Thanks in advance!

    Marinka’s last blog post..Just Because I’m a Hypochondriac, Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Dying

  72. I’ve just decided to read you after my nightly Ambien. This way, I will be able to totally pick up your flow but then I’ll forget what I’ve read and then be able to read you again in the morning.
    Oh, wait. I should check to see if I commented on this before…

    Amber Mc’s last blog post..Uterus: Sweet Baby Home or Painful Organ of DOOOOM!!?

  73. I don’t think I can watch Disney movies in the same way anymore…

    7 men? And midgets?

    Frack. ALL the Disney stories are a bit freaky, if you ask me.

    But you didn’t.

    But you can’t trust anyone who whistles while they work.. is that even the same movie?

    kristin/kwr221’s last blog post..

  74. Damn. I forgot to put a title on my post this morning. It looks blank on my comment. 🙁

    kristin/kwr221’s last blog post..

  75. I love the messages that Disney is sending our little girls: live with lots of men, accept food from strangers, and you should definitely marry the first guy to do stuff to your unconscious body. Awesome.

    Stephanie’s last blog post..Sympathy Pains

  76. LOL @ Stephanie… There’s my vote for comment of the day!

  77. It is so very sad that there is not some lame bloggie award for post titles. I would totally vote for this one.

    Also, Jenny – don’t give the nefarious fucking Disney any ideas! They are pretty fucked up already. Heh.

    Cagey’s last blog post..Why do the fish not all die when lightning strikes the ocean?

  78. Can I borrow some of your Xanax?

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post..Fcuking Great Gift!

  79. 79
    The Isopteran King

    Oh my god you are the coolest thing since sliced okra! My day was kinda poopy and you, like a golden sunshine shower, made me laugh. Don’t forget in the Grimm fairy tale the witch also gave Snow White a corset that strangled her (disguised as a peddler) and a poisoned comb (disguised as an old woman) before the apple. Which just goes to show, you may be the fairest of the all, but that doesn’t make you the smartest.

  80. 80
    Seconalia Jones

    two xanax, that makes sense. you high jumpin with your rheumatiz? no creo, yo.

  81. You need to add the label “posts that will get me hate mail” to this one, because I’m sure someone, somewhere will be all offended by the acid-in-face comment.

    Have you ever actually gotten hate mail? Will you post some? Pleeeeeez?

    Cynical Nymph’s last blog post..Questions

  82. Frankly, I really don’t get why she is so bent on being the fairest in the land. I would so be happy with second fairest if it meant I didn’t have to live with a creepy dwarf cult in the forest. And by the way, isn’t the whole corpse on display deal a bit Lenin? Who does Snow White think she is?

    Dani’s last blog post..If it starts playing more apples in stereo, i am going to start leaving harvest cobbler offerings on my desk…

  83. Two pounds of crap? I’ve seen two people die and that just didn’t happen. I hope you’re not counting on that as a way to fit into a smaller outfit for your own wake.

    annie’s last blog post..I’m Busy and Didn’t Blog

  84. I feel like you can’t even compare the beauty of someone like Snow White to someone like the evil queen. The evil queen is like an older bad girl MILF and Snow White is like the cutesie barely legal girl next door. They should team up and make a Girls Gone Wild video, actually.

    carolinemichelle’s last blog post..Aaaaand I’m shady

  85. When I was still a fetus, I had a twin. But then I killed her and kicked her sorry ass out. But then I read you and I wonder if I didn’t just remember it wrong because it was years and years ago, and since I really can’t remember what I did this morning, let alone decades ago, maybe I didn’t kill her. And then I read your next post, and I think it all over again, and it’s like deja vu, cause like I can’t remember what I did this morning, let alone years and years ago, so maybe I didn’t kill her….

  86. “If the evil Queen from Snow White was magical enough to turn herself into an old hag to give Snow White the poison apple then why didn’t she just use her magic to make her self look exactly like Snow White but like with bigger boobs?”

    Holy fuck, I’d never thought of that before.

    Officially a “why the hell didn’t I think of that?” moment. Dammit.

  87. I play this game all the time with my 3 year old, but I NEVER get to be the evil queen. I’m always the hapless Snow White and my little sweetheart always laughs as I’m *dying* after eating her poisoned apple.

  88. You know, to be the Fairest In The Land, you kind of have to actually be in the land. Since neither the witch nor Snow White was actually in the land, neither is actually eligible. Had Snow White had a traditional burial, yeah, but as it is, they’re really competing for Fairest In The Approximately Six Feet Of Atmosphere Just Above The Land. I’m sure there’s some slasher flick in which some hot scantily-clad teen gets buried alive. There’s your Fairest In The Land right there.

    The Dead Acorn’s last blog post..She Blinded Me With Science

  89. You know this is probably the real version of that story. You know how the story of Sleeping Beauty in the original text had the prince raping the fair maiden. Which kind of leads me to that wench should have known better than to take an apple from a creepy stranger…especially when those animals in the forest were all like “NO DON’T”.

    Jenn’s last blog post..New DWTS Season

  90. Even if Snow White had bigger boobs, she’d still want botox after getting colligen injected into her lips.

    Chris’s last blog post..Shoes: A Search For Self

  91. Bloggess, you rock. Your blog is the highlight of my day!

    bethany’s last blog post..An open apology to everyone

  92. This is like with Rapunzel. How did she end up NOT crazy? I mean, she was locked up in a tower from birth, met a prince (the only man she’s ever seen in the world, by the way) because he knocked her up (and she probably didn’t even know what that meant). Oh, and I’m pretty sure she had to develop some serious schizophrenia.

  93. @Sylvia
    isn’t scary when those commenting make Jenny seem tame?

    hunter should have cut her heart out.

    zombie terarium, too funny. wonder if the short dudes periodically put a new box of baking soda in it. Or those little pinetree air freshners.

    reeky’s last blog post..Social Networking: Is It Good To Reconnect Or Should You Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

  94. Silly, they had her in a glass casket so the midgets could look up her skirt. 🙂

    The Stiletto Mom’s last blog post..Blissdom ‘09 Recap…I Spent Two Days There But You Can Experience It In 1291 Words!

  95. I’m having lyposuction after I die. Really it’s in my will. And have my boobs lifted. If I can’t be a skinny bitch with lifted boobs now, I want to look that way at my wake. I want everyone to say “gosh she looks so skinny”. And the whole glass coffin thing – I get it and want one.

    Kelli’s last blog post..I Gotta Blow My Nose Dude

  96. I want to know why Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel were not starved to death and nude when those stinking Princes got around to saving their asses? I mean really. If someone could smuggle them food and new duds then couldn’t they just jail break or something?

  97. Well, Rapunzel had a witch-mom who DID love her, sort of. She brought her food and junk, remember? As for Sleeping Beauty, I don’t know. She should have been dead for a loong time.

  98. “…you automatically lose like 2 pounds when you void your bowels”

    Craaaaaaaaaaaap

    ~EdT.

    EdT.’s last blog post..Top Chef 5:TANSTAAFL

  99. After sitting through the incredibly sad moment in The Notebook (when both of them decide to die together) my friend Megan leaned in and whispered, “You know that nurse is thinking, ‘fuck, I have to clean double the mess now’.” Which of course, made me laugh hysterically at a very inappropriate moment.
    However, she forever changed the way I see that movie. In the same way, you transformed Snow White into the magical film it was always meant to be.

    – sorry, my comments are way too long.

  100. How can you fall back on a standing long jump? Isn’t the point to propel forward?

    BOSSY’s last blog post..Bloggers. They’re Just Like Us!

  101. Picture the scene:
    The handsome prince lifts the lid on the glass coffin, leans over and kisses Snow White. She groans, opens her eyes, reaches up and pulls him down towards her. Then she bites him on the neck whilst muttering, “Must have BRAAAAIIINNSS!!!”

    I’d pay to watch that movie.

    Mr Farty’s last blog post..Technoranti

  102. Really wouldn’t it be easier for the queen to just buy some new clothes, let her hair down, maybe get a makeover? I mean she wasn’t bad looking, just a little uptight. Snow White was OK, but not really all that. Considering the age category, with a little work the queen could have totally taken her.

    Summer’s last blog post..4 hours with a 3 year old

  103. So I just looked up the Grimm Brothers’ original story, and Snow White is

    SEVEN YEARS OLD

    when the evil queen goes all medieval on her ass. So… that makes the prince a creeper child molester. And sort of makes it better that she was so dumb to take the poisoned apple from a gross old hag, because, I mean, she’s a freakin’ toddler.

  104. How is it fair that you can write the hell out of every post and have athletic prowess, too?

    Beth’s last blog post..The Eight Perfect Valentine’s Day Gifts, continued

  105. Im totally impressed you can write with two xanex. One xanex and I’m asleep for hours.

    Jennifer A’s last blog post..Mommy FAIL

  106. Have you ever read Neil Gaiman’s version of the Snow White fairy tale, “Snow, Glass, Apples”?
    http://www.holycow.com/dreaming/stories/snow-glass-apples
    You’ll never look at Snow White the same.

  107. The evil Queen was totally screwed because true beauty comes from within. Big boobs are not enough.

    Think how much happier she’d have been if she’d had xanax. Not necessarily prettier, but content.

    You, Jenny, are the fairest in the land.

    Holly Forrest’s last blog post..From Peter’s Friends to My Friends

  108. To go further with the Grimm version, the evil queen was in fact her mother, not a step-mother. So when she wished for a daughter with “skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as ebony.” You’d think she would’ve thrown in a “and breasts the size of acorns”. It makes perfect sense to me. Now I need a xanax, but I’m pregnant…with a little girl…crap, do you think she’ll have bigger boobs than me?

    Really, I can’t have xanax? *sigh*

  109. Those dwarves . . . . those little pervert necros——-you telling me none of ’em peeked into Hoohahville or Boobland to see whass goin’ on theres.. .?

    I bet the 8th one no one talks about was Fistey.

  110. When you wrote Snow White I thought of that slutty Snow White in the opening number of the Oscars that was all over Rob Lowe. Ew.

    Condo Blues’s last blog post..Fabkins – Cute Cloth Napkins for Kids!

  111. It was all making sense until your threw in that “word” — SCYTHE –? Whut the whut? I should not have to consult a dictionary, and also… it’s a 6 letter word with one (ONE) vowel. I don’t think that’s a word.

    jennyonthespot’s last blog post..Mom Fail – the reprise of a past post for a TwitterMoms Contest

  112. I once took two Xanax thinking they were Aleve. Same sizish…. big mistake. Big. Drooling. Mistake. With you on the whole.. I could be a better Bitch of a Witch Quennie than Disney can dream up.

    Lizulfisa’s last blog post..You think YOU had a productive day?!?!?

  113. You make so much sense I think all the world’s problems could be solved by you with a vat of prescription drugs.

    Do you by chance have contacts in any of the big Washington think tanks? Because I don’t.

    LiteralDan’s last blog post..Or before G-H, as in "neighbor" and "weigh"

  114. you are wildly entertaining. xanax or not.

    Samantha’s last blog post..Dirty Jerzee

  115. Yeah, why didn’t she just make herself prettier? I don’t think she was the brightest in the land either.

    Two pounds is a lot when you think of it in those terms. Ewww.

    Kyla’s last blog post..Children’s book recommendations?

  116. I almost watched Snow White with my kids last night. But then I was worried shit like this would keep me all night. So instead we watched Alice in Wonderland. You know the one with Whoopi Goldberg…the newer one. Well I’m pretty sure that was equally as creepy and the person who made it was dosing on acid at the time

    WM’s last blog post..Things that should never be Tweeted

  117. Is that why Stalin was preserved in a glass coffin? Because he was so sexy?

    Steam me up, kid’s last blog post..Handball Tips and Hobo Law: Something for Everyone, Really

  118. Hilarious!

    Sapphire’s last blog post..Praise Report! Praise Report! Uh, NOT!!!

  119. And now I feel like munching on laxatives and xanax all day now. Thanks.

    mariah’s last blog post..To Spank Or Not To Spank

  120. Odd, xanex doesn’t make me think about Snow White and the dwarfs… but sometimes if I look in the mirror, they make me think of the ugly witch. But usually, they just make me float on air. Heh.

    Lea’s last blog post..Liars

  121. “You make so much sense I think all the world’s problems could be solved … with a vat of … drugs.”

    Listening to the news, it seems that members of the Government are of the same mind.

    ~EdT.

    EdT.’s last blog post..Does this mean I am now an award-winning photographer?

  122. “And now I feel like munching on laxatives and xanax all day now.”

    Which means you won’t give a shit.

    ~EdT.

    EdT.’s last blog post..I am not sure what story this tells, but looking at this photo leaves me with nothing to say, so I guess it counts as a Wordless Wednesday post

  123. Can you photo shop yourself with a scythe? Cause that sounds really great.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Simulations

  124. Totally makes sense to me. But I am doing a cleanse and feel kinda lightheaded and like I might faint or puke, so that could be influencing my opinion.

  125. I never got what the mirror saw in Snow White anyway. Even as a little girl I thought she was kinda homely.

    Stacey’s last blog post..Ten Reasons Why Cats Make Great Pets

  126. Disney princesses are getting you down too, eh?

    katie ~ motherbumper’s last blog post..the long con

  127. Because if she used her magic to look exactly like Snow White, but with bigger boobs this would be an ENITRELY different type of movie. It would also probably involve naked outdoor mud wrestling and “dwarfing” which is kinda like “fisting” but you know…with a dwarf.

    Aaron’s last blog post..Robots of War

  128. This is hilarious! Really, I’m in stitches right now.

    akeorlando’s last blog post..Orlando’s 25 Most Powerful for ‘09

  129. When I watch it all I can think about is how Snow White must have had some killer halitosis after sleeping those untold years.

    Actually that is always what I think about when people in movies kiss first thing in the morning.

    Carrie’s last blog post..Nap Weaning, Day One

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