If the evil Queen from Snow White was magical enough to turn herself into an old hag to give Snow White the poison apple then why didn’t she just use her magic to make her self look exactly like Snow White but like with bigger boobs? Also, even after Snow White was dead she was still so sexy that the dwarves put her in a glass coffin so they could ogle her dead body so technically she was still the fairest in the land. I bet when the Queen was all “Who’s the fairest now, bitch?” the magic mirror was like “Yeah, there is a rotting corpse in the woods that’s hotter than you”. If I was the queen I’d throw acid in the faces of everyone prettier than me and I’d also carry a scythe to chop off the knees of anyone who could beat me in the standing long jump too because I’m pretty kick-ass at that and you have to have something besides sexiness to fall back on.
I just had two xanax but I’m pretty sure this all makes sense.
Comment of the day: I’ve always wondered about the glass coffin. It’s more like a zombie terrarium. ~ Aprylsantics