For insomniacs

in no one thinks this is funny but me, Random Crap, stuff better left unpublished

It’s almost 3am and I’m nowhere near sleep so I decided to create a song about blogging based on tonight’s Glee episode.  Because I’m drunk on lack of sleep and no one is awake to talk me out of it.  I’ll probably delete this in the morning so enjoy, Australia and chronic insomniacs:

Comment of the day:  (3am at the Lawson home)

Hailey: Daddy, can I sleep with you tonight? I had a bad dream.

Victor: It wasn’t a dream, honey. *sigh* It wasn’t a dream.  ~ Steam me up, kid

280 thoughts on “For insomniacs”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. Too bad I can’t put volume in my office PC!! Please don’t erase this in the morning coz I’m going to see this when I get home.

    Oh and one thing, not only Australians are going to enjoy this. We’re awake in Dubai too.
    .-= Grace @ Sandier Pastures´s last blog ..WW – Big pencil =-.

  4. Haha, that was brilliant. And it’s nice to see we Australians get some love =)

    I really need to watch Glee now.
    .-= Caillin´s last blog ..!!! =-.

  9. insomnia has paid off. only… it’s almost 4am here. and I’m still wide awake… Thank you for making my late night/early morning significantly better though 🙂 You’re pretty much my hero.

  12. So awesome. It’s too late to take it back. That baby has already made it on to some guy’s laptop to be posted on YouTube. It will also haunt you at high school reunions and the Blogger’s Roast.
    .-= CoryLeslie´s last blog ..flowing =-.

  13. Seriously? This made my night. I thought i adored you before, but this…there are no words. It was a happy day that my best friend sent me a link to your blog. And here I thought I was the only insomniac freak who watched too much Glee….
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Control Freak =-.

  15. Heh heh. Very nice! 😀 You have an amazing voice! The only thing that would make the video better is if you had earbuds in so we didn’t hear the original song. 😉

  22. I would say that this would be the vicodin/soma combo (I am suffering from a rupturing ovarian cyst) but I think I am coherent enough to type this so this opinion does matter…crap…man I feel high…

    Anyways…you have a beautiful voice. Don’t ever delete this. It was wonderful. Such talent I say! Hell I can’t even write a grocery list and you wrote an entire song.

    Love ya!

  23. I love you guys.

    PS. Heather Armstrong is Dooce, leading mommy blogger. In the song it’s actually “Mr. Armstien”, who I think was Fanny Brice’s husband. My head is filled with useless knowledge.

  24. I missed Glee because I was drinking wine in a hot tub with my imaginary unicorn friend and my 12 year old (he wasn’t drinking wine) until we got kicked out by security (life skills, a kid’s gotta learn these things before college) talking about my husband’s cancer ‘n shit, but OH MY GOD, I’m pretty sure this was better than Glee. Yeah. Positive.
    .-= califmom´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Kiwi Reflection =-.

  27. I’ve been sick all week. The sickest I’ve been in some time. I woke up around 3am completely stuffed-up and in serious need of more Alka Seltzer + Cold Medicine. After drinking the fizzy concoction I lay back down and decide to check my messages before attempting to go back to sleep.

    And THIS is what I found! I’m so happy I’m sick because I probably would have missed this [assuming you take it down in a few hours]. In a few hours I’m flying to Cleveland, OH to sit out in the snow and cold and watch the Steelers and the Browns slug it out. I’ve been looking forward to it for months. But your video might very well be the highlight of the day.

    “How was the game?”

    “Nowhere near as epic as The Bloggess’s video.”

  29. That was so goddamn adorable, I don’t even know what to do with myself now. Seriously. I have literally forgotten what I was doing with myself before I watched it, and I have no idea where to go from here. You know how some people are born to heal the world with their gifts and talents? Well you’re meant to do something. With you’re something. Fuck, there go the words now. Thanks a lot. OR NOT THANKS. I’M NOT SURE.
    .-= TJ´s last blog ..December 9th, office stare-down =-.

  32. Tweet me next time and I’ll grab you an instrumental off of my karaoke hard drive. Hilarity, but the singing in the background is distracting. More you, less … well, not you, I guess.

  39. Holy fucknuts. Here I was all depressed that I was awake at 4 a.m. still studying for a miserable final I have to take tomorrow, and MY GOD. A blessing in disguise, really, or I might have missed this. Please never take this down. On an unrelated note, I finally checked my mail and my James Garfield card arrived. He’s even more handsome in card form than he is online. Worth every penny.

  40. I’ve never been so glad to pull an elected all-nighter (which I’m pretty sure is just college for insomniac).

  42. OK I think you should take this on the road. I got a gig for you right here in Stockton, California call me and we’ll do lunch.

    You should also be on a game show because you are right that Nicky Arnstein is/was Fanny Brice’s husband.

    You have got the world in the palm of your hands what with the James Garfield victory, the trip to Japan and now this singing/scari-oke career ahead of you.

    You are simply brilliant! (especially at 2:00 AM)
    .-= Sheri Fenley´s last blog ..Holiday Edition of Shades, The Magazine =-.

  43. LALALALALALALALA Not listening.

    Just like I can’t go on damn Twitter cause I haven’t seen the latest Glee yet.

    Dammit.

    (I don’t know where these other so called fucking Australians are seeing Glee cause it has only just come up on bit torrent… I MEAN it is not on TV here till Sunday…)

  44. This Australian appreciates the opportunity to bask in the glow of your talent. Love it!

  48. I beat the odds. I’m neither an Austrailian nor insomniac today. I just napped to wake up too early. The video’s great. Don’t delete it. At the very least, you have to leave it up long enough to be served with a takedown notice for having music playing in the background. That’d be fun. It’ll be William Shatner all over again.
    .-= Steve´s last blog ..#108 Logical Fallacy Theater =-.

  49. Don’t delete this post. If this is what you can accomplish when you can’t sleep, I can’t wait to read your book.
    I’m not allowed to have insomnia because I wake up each morning at 5:25AM, waiting for a sub call that may never come. I should lie in bed at night, bemoaning that my life has become like this, but I’m too tired.
    I’ve, been, told, I, overuse, commas, but, I, don’t, think, so:
    .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Eye of the Beholder =-.

  53. Damn. If you had done this on Tuesday, you could have linked to my site for ‘Out of Tune Tuesday’. Except, you’re not really OUT of Tune… but whatever. AND if I had known you were up at three, I would have harassed you….I was up at three begging whatever Gods there might be for a two hour delay from school today….

    Nope.

  58. That was awesome. You DO have a good voice! Way better than me singing Moon Moon Moon to the naked manic toddler running around my house with one pink sandal on the wrong foot, flipping light switches on & off.

  61. Wow! That was wonderful! I agree with another poster, (at the expense of being creepy) you really do have pretty teeth 🙂
    So awesome to wake up to! Love it

  70. There’s nothing better than a show tune to increase your Gay Australian Insomniac fanbase – a market segment totally overlooked by dooce. You’re like a marketing genius.

  73. You were great, and so were the last couple episodes of “Glee!” I’m just pissed that it’s not on again until spring.

  75. O.M.G. I haven’t even been awake for 45minutes and you’ve just made my entire day! Nothing can suck cuz I’ll just remember this and start giggling insanely! You should remake a glee song every Wednesday until Glee comes back on!!!

  76. Yay for insomnia and for me being in Australia (though this doesn’t quite count since it’s almost midnight here… whoops.). 😀 If this is the result, I do not mind. Glee inspires wonderful things. <3
    Also, is that a new wig? I think it's rather fab. I mean, if it's your hair or an old wig, it still looks good.

  79. Yeah, no, going back to an earlier post, is that a new confidence wig or your hair? Because either way its super-cute.

  82. great vid. i think you have a lovely singing voice. also, i love that when your vid is over and it displays other youtube vids, the one with the teen who made a sensation with the whole, “leave britney alone” tirade, pops up. i don’t watch Glee. i hate singing and dancing shows. i am a fan of Mad Men and The League. two of the best shows on tv. take care.
    .-= kiki´s last blog ..A Match Made in Crazyville =-.

  87. omg- you are awesome! I giggled all through your video. people at work think i’m weird now….

  88. You are seriously hot, in that sweet, coy, dirty, ravagable kinda way. Good lyrics too.

  97. That was…fucking brilliant! And your voice is quite lovely, really. I just fell in love with a blog star (and it sure the hell wasn’t Heather Armstrong). Thanks for making my morning!
    .-= AmyB´s last blog ..Leaving on a Jet Plane… =-.

  99. You need a whole musical to go with this song. It would make millions on Broadway and Victor would be SO proud. Or horrified. Either way it would be awesome.

  103. I just fell in love with you all over again. (Creepy?)

    Amazing. Don’t ever take it down. Nice shout out to Dooce.

    And I love the hair.
    BEAT

  106. This was the first thing I saw when I sat down at my desk this morning. BRAVO. Don’t delete this, I plan on watching it at least 6 more times today and spamming all of my friends until they watch it too.

  107. Fucking’ awesome. Loved it.
    Thinking Glee needs to have you on!
    Totally second the idea above that you should fill the Glee void every Wed from now until Spring with something like this…
    .-= Michele´s last blog ..Baked =-.

  112. Brilliant! And hilarious! And your voice is amazing 🙂 Thanks for starting off my Thursday with a song!

    <3

  113. Do I sense a album (maybe even a Christmas album!) in the offing? After all, what’s the sense of doing something if you can’t take a little too far.

    Nicely done.

  114. Absolutely brilliant!! I loved it … it’s by far the best blog post and video I’ve seen in ages!! Never heard of your blog before, but I’ll be reading and listening to it now.

  115. Thank you for confirming my suspicions on why I will not watch “Glee.”

    Also, you need to give Victor a blowjob or something immediately because if you’re my wife and screaming (sorry..singing like ‘Glee’) at 3 in the fucking morning and you’re NOT either in the shed in the yard or at the neighbor’s house or at the very least out of earshot, I would bludgeon you to death with a giant stuffed boar head.

    And that’s just me and I don’t even HAVE a giant stuffed boar head. Imagine the guy who has that at his disposal.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Boys, Girls, Peninsulas and Aliens =-.

  117. Dear God!!!! I didn’t think you could get any more coffee-spewing-through-the-nose funny! Your brain must be a constant whirl of frenetic crazy-ass! I love you. I love you. I love you. But…not like in a stalker way or anything. Oh, the Dooce verse!!!! OK, I can’t give you enough love and exclamation marks!! Simply fabulous!!
    .-= joann mannix´s last blog ..Bare Foot Pimpin’ =-.

  119. Holy shit! Today is my birthday and you gave me this! Hell, yeah!

    Your voice is so awesome… do not delete this, bitch!

  123. This is funny. Now we know what to get you for Christmas, the Karaoke track for Don’t Rain on My Parade.

    http://www.karaoke-version.com/mp3-backingtrack/barbra-streisand/don-t-rain-on-my-parade.html

    Only $1.99, a bargain if you will sing it again. Can you stay up late again tonight?

    LOL

    Kami
    PS. You do have a great voice, really. And this from someone who went through the opera program in college ( a real ex-purt ;-). You just don’t need that pesky Streisand/Rachel messing you up.
    .-= Kami Huyse´s last blog ..Essay: Social Media Users Unpacked =-.

  124. The Baby let me sleep some last night, so I missed it in *real* time, but what a way to complement my morning coffee. That was all kinds of awesome. And you have a much better voice than you give yourself credit for. That kind of talent? Totally deserves a kitty-kat pearl choker.
    .-= Kim´s last blog ..Gratuitous, shmatuitous: Wednesday =-.

  126. K – I’m going to tell you all a wee secret – go to surfthechannel.com – no need for bit torrents – you can watch all the episodes of Glee there. And since the MegaVideo links will time out after a while I’ll tell you all another secret – just reset your modem and keep watching! Enjoy.

    Glee rocks. Almost as much as Jenny. 🙂

  129. This is awesome in ways beyond all comprehension. Please don’t delete it because my husband hates his job and I promised him that we can watch it when he gets home. So I’m asking you kindly not to ruin my husband’s already shitty day. 😉
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..Where Does Your Focus Lie? =-.

  130. OMG, I love it. It would take major sleep deprivation drunkenness to get me to sing on camera and post it.s
    And the confidence wig? I have some confidence props, but not a wig. (yet)

    PLEASE don’t take this down.
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..He Got it from Me =-.

  131. THIS sealed the deal in the skeptic in me. It’s love I feel for you now. Only LOVE! Once on the fence, I have fallen! LOVE the line about Heather Armstrong.

    You so need to get this out to the Glee peeps. You’ll ge guaranteed a guest spot on the show. and do you know you have a really good singing voice.
    .-= MaNiC MoMMy´s last blog ..LiKe WHaT ya See? =-.

  136. For someone who just narrowly escaped a trip down the hole (thanks God for Wikipedia) AND is up at 3 a.m., you look smokin’ hot. I’m no lesbian, but I’d do you.

    Also, what does it say about me that the minute I saw “Venus” in the subtitles, I thought, “YAY! Penis is just around the corner!” Probably nothing good.

    Heather Armstrong wishes she were you. And not just because of a certain dead President/wild boar hanging on your wall.

  137. I’m so out of the loop, I don’t even know what happens on Glee. I guess I better google it.

    I get all my US teevee through a GINORMOUS dish on the roof that is aimed at a UK satellite. Not only is there a three hour time difference (and all the good stuff comes on at midnight my time), but there is about a six month lag before the Brits get the good US programming. FMyLife.
    .-= TheExpatresse´s last blog ..S’Wonderful =-.

  145. OMG that was the fucking coolest thing that I have ever watched. If you don’t count you eating Japanese boob pudding. That was pretty awesome too.
    .-= Mama Bee´s last blog ..Alien Food =-.

  148. i am almost definitely going to kidnap you and build a shrink machine so i can shrink you and keep you in my pocket. the meds can stay full size though. for me.

  150. The Bloggess musical! I would sooooo pay to see that. I am imagining dancing singing vagina everywhere flapping their labia like butterfly wings, zombies, ninja, tiny Sasquatch and you in the center belting out something this awesome…but for like two hours at least! Think of all the midgets you could employ. You could save the giant squid for the big finale. You need an agent, pronto.

  151. We need to start a petition to have this number performed by Jenny at BlogHer 2010. Seriously!!!
    Funniest thing EVAH!!
    You are so damn funny and cute and your voice is awesome!

  158. Is your office sound proof? You are like falling down the rabbit hole. I think it would be fun and really short of shocking to be married to you, but sure as hell never boring.

  174. I am an Aussie insomniac but still missed this when it was first posted. *le sigh*
    (Actually, we don’t do *le sigh* here; it’s *bloody sigh*).
    Just in case I’ve never told you before: I love you.
    And I have PMT. So that whole rendition of yours? Made me cry. Fuck.
    <3 Meg

  178. This Australian just pissed herself laughing….. well almost (thankfully my pelvic floor is just fine). Rest assured, if my pelvic floor was weaker I definitely would have pissed myself laughing.
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..The final results are in… =-.

  180. OMG I freakin’ adore you SOOO much. You are a genius! Oh, and I nearly choked on a shell noodle when you called out dooce…..Absolutely. Awesome.

    I feel like my life will be wasted if I don’t drive to Texas, sit at your feet and worship you. Seriously.
    .-= Kendra´s last blog ..Facebook Quiz part 1 =-.

  184. The best part? That J.G. was right overhead smiling in that special way only he can. *wistful sigh*

  193. I think your next hit single should be “Jenny from the Blog” –
    Perhaps it goes something like this –

    Don’t be scared by the thoughts that i got,
    I’m still, i’m still jenny from the blog
    used to drink a little, now i drink a lot
    each place i go, i don’t know where i came from

    …really it’s a work in progress, i’m sure you could do much better. i’d love to see a post if you decide to accept this challenge 😉

  203. Freakin’ hysterical – and your voice is not nearly as death-inducing as mine! I think this is absolute genius at 3:00 a.m. (incidentally, I’m in Houston and it’s 10:50 am – thanks for leavin’ it up!)

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  209. I tried to watch this the other day, but it wouldn’t let me. I came back hoping you hadn’t deleted it. So glad you didn’t; I had no idea that you were actually a great singer. Very impressive! (Also, my daughter and I love Glee too.)
    .-= Wendy´s last blog ..Behind the Scenes at WOM =-.

  210. Girl! You’re f*cking awesome for captioning most of the video. This deaf gal loves you. If you don’t caption the entire video next time, I will stab you.

  211. Okay… I bow down to you… you are not only hilarious, you can sing to? that’s just ridiculous!!!
    don’t delete this video!! next time i am up in the middle of the night (as most fibromites are insomniacs) i want to come back to this video so i can smile and continue to aspire to be YOU! you just continue to amaze me… 🙂

    thanks for continuing to be the best pain relief ever… i point all my tweeps over to your blog for laughter…
    .-= tamiko´s last blog ..screw fibromyalgia and celebrate the best things in life!! my family is AWESOME!!! =-.

  213. Oooo… Great idea, Nikki! We could have a whole album of Bloggess parodies! I’d like to suggest one based on Jenny Says by Cowboy Mouth. Maybe it could be Jenny Blogs instead.

    Jenny blogs about stuffed pig heads,
    Jenny blogs boobie ‘shrooms
    Jenny blogs Japanese sex dungeons…

  219. I hate you. Scratch that. I absolutely love you and am terribly jealous of your beauty and talent. This was hilarious and entertaining. I love love love your voice and want to hear it some more. Why not take some lessons? Or just screw the lessons. You should make more songs and sell CD’s. I’d buy one! Please don’t be a one-hit wonder.

  220. that was total and complete and utter perfection. please stay up late with insomnia every night? this is much better than television. fanfuckingtastic, jenny. you truly are the bloggess!
    .-= nakedjen´s last blog ..It’s My Life =-.

  222. I watched this again just because it was a hard ass Friday. Please never delete this, I can’t afford therapy.

  228. I love it!! I was so sad at work last night because they block YouTube. Today I got my James Garfield card AND I got to watch this wonderful video. Thank you, Jenny, for turning my day around. <3
    .-= Sara Bellum´s last blog ..I fail at blog. =-.

  231. am insomniac too and… am disturbed by your lack of Christmas cheer on this 2nd week of December, so I am submitting a blog for you which you may file under:

    Think before you speak, Michael, cause you are about to get your mom all-kindza fucked-up

    OR:

    Songs that aren’t about transvestites

    I get really upset in the part of the Jackson 5 version of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus when Michael says he’s going to tell his dad. I just want to scream out: No Michael!!!!! Shut that still-cute-looking face of yours!!! (And by “want to” I mean “do”). Because. Michael? Joe Jackson is gonna beat the SHIT outta yo mom. Do NOT tell your dad that your mom is going to first base with Santa on Christmas Eve in his own living room! Do you even think before you do crazy shit like that? Do you not know what goes on in your own house? Anyway, then I remember that Santa in the story really is his dad so Joe will probably just have a laugh at how cute Michael is, pat him on the head and send him to bed with a glass of milk like the Grinch does with Cindy Loo Who. But, then again, this is Joe Jackson we are talking about and he probably DID steal many-a Jackson Christmases. And he no doubt has that creepy-as-fuck smile, too.

  232. You have a wonderful voice! I’m so jealous. Funny, cute, and multi-talented. I hate you…. lol

  234. Just when I got so bored of working on the computer that I actually contemplated getting of my fat ass and doing dishes!!! You’re a life saver and as adorable as all heck.

  238. I just accidentally stumbled onto your blog, and now I am instantly hooked. Loved the video!!!!

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  241. I was in my car this afternoon and the Glee version of the song started playing and I kept singing the parts of your version that I could remember right along with the music!
    .-= NoE´s last blog ..Back to Blogging II =-.

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  252. Jenny,

    Your voice is beautiful! I hope you find other songs that you can make up new words to!

    Also, frabjous day! My trackback made it through — usually I have to add “/trackback” when I put a URL in the trackback box, even for other WordPress blogs, but NOT adding it is what worked this time. So, since what works is random, when I post about you in the future I’ll try it both ways. I’m telling you here so more bloggers will post abou
    .-= Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian´s last blog ..Obama hits a new low — in the polls, I mean, because with Obama and the expression ‘new low,’ you have to be specific =-.

  255. HOT DAMN!!!

    That made me giggle and smile. Thanks for making a crappy day at work much better!
    And damn you, I need to watch Glee again. Thank you Baby Jesus for Hulu!

    You better keep this vlog on here, cause it’s FABULOUS!
    .-= Angry Julie Monday´s last blog ..Subscribe =-.

  259. K, first off you are totally cute, LOL! This is my first time coming here, shame on me! LOVE your song, very creative and funny 🙂 Totally keep that video, as you can see, many love it!!! Do another! I have insomnia too, but you don’t wanna hear me trying to sing belt out a tune 😉

  262. Supreme Commander Bloggess, I salute you!
    I see great success in your future, beyond your wildest expectations.
    Your “tirade” was both clever and beautifully sung, and I wish I had your courage. You are a role model for us all, and I look forward to seeing you stake your claim as Houston’s newest chanteuse. (I always wanted to use that word….)
    your loyal subject, the Chupacabra, aka ipodlesley
    (ps – For some reason I couldn’t view the video a few days ago; I’m so glad I checked again today.)

  270. I should have watched this days ago. True cure for depression. Especially the line about Heather Armstrong which made me LOL. And the macks who think you have a penis.

    (But seriously? I’m really glad I’m not the only one addicted to GLEE!)
    .-= Lynn @ human, being´s last blog ..Word. =-.

  274. Bloggess, you rock!
    Love, Crazy Aussie insomniac/drunk.
    P.S. I’m kind of afraid of you and secretly in love with you. I mean you could potentially take over the world and be the head of the future One World Order. Or if not, you’ll at least be totally famous in Australia.
    .-= Eva Kowalski´s last blog ..Hole in…everyone =-.

  277. You know what I do at 3am? I read your blog… Then again, I read your blog at most hours of the day, the only bonus to reading it during “normal waking hours” is that I don’t have to quietly laugh. I think I got a major ab work out the other night from reading one of your posts with my husband asleep next to me. Great big belly laughs are hard to do silently, but they definitely work your abs.

  280. Holy crap woman! Is there anything you can’t do?

    The Singing Bloggess – long may she reign!

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