Hiding in the bathroom

Time for the weekly wrap-up.  It’s…kind of depressing.  Mostly because I’ve been really sick, had a rheumatiod arthritis flare-up and of course that triggered a series of small anxiety attacks.  In other words, I seldom left the house and I wrote a lot of bad, angsty poetry that will never see the light of day. You’re welcome.

    This week on my sex column (which is satirical and relatively safe for work if your boss isn’t a total douche canoe):

    This week on the internets:

    • I was asked to contribute to a book about bathrooms since I’m known for spending half my life hiding from people there and it was easy enough because I have 500,000 pictures of me in bathrooms (see above) and then when I got my copy of the book I saw that I was like 10 pages away from a self-portrait of Amanda Fucking Palmer.  Which is kind of kick-ass and totally makes up for the fact that I’m not actually making anything from this book and that I had to actually buy my own copy.  I’m not really sure if I should be proud of this whole situation or not.

    This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:

    This week on shit-I-didn’t-write-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

    54 thoughts on “Hiding in the bathroom

    Read comments below or add one.

    1. Hope you feel better. You like the bathroom? I like the closet, spend LOTS of my time there.

      Okay, that came out wrong. Not in a I’m-really-a-lesbian-kind-of-way. I like to lock myself in my darkened closet and hide from my kids and husband. I even have a small fridge in there so I can drink. A lot.
      .-= BrilliantSulk´s last blog ..The Worst Invention Ever. Trust Me =-.

    2. I’m absolutely loving your bathroom collage. Especially the toes in the tub one. Which reminds me … I desperately need a pedicure before I go into labor. All the pregnancy books talk about how all the doctor looks at is your toes … and don’t we want to please the doctor?
      .-= LittleMissEnglishTeacher´s last blog ..What I See When I look down =-.

    3. I don’t think I can afford Blissdom but I’ll be at Blogher and Mom 2.0. Also, it’s no surprise that you didn’t know it was me. That’s where all the wigs come in handy. Basically if you see a drunk girl in a bad wig hiding in the bathroom you can pretty much assume that that’s me.

    4. I could never figure out why you looked so familiar to me and then today I realized, you’re Laura Palmer aren’t you?
      Because that gum you like is coming back in style.
      .-= Midwest Mommy´s last blog ..My Midwest Year =-.

    5. Should have called it the weakly wrap-up (boom tish). My left foot has gout in sympathy with your arthritis. That’s quite a high level of sympathy for a man.

    6. Jenny, are you going to BlogHer in NY this summer? I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to go. I’ve only attended writer conferences, and I’m not sure if I have enough of a blogging presence (or they right type of blog) to attend. In fact, I just blogged about that today.
      .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Resolute without Resolution =-.

    7. I almost got excited when I saw two chicks running a train on your friend in the bathroom! Nice!….
      But then I figured, hmmm…maybe they’re just checking her for lumps…
      or helping your friend pop/cover up a zit with makeup…
      or helping her cover up a hickey that she got in the bathroom from some random guy while having a 10th anniversary dinner with her husband who always finds a way to brush up against Jenny’s loins but pretends like he doesnt know he’s doing it…jerk!!!
      .-= BlackBird´s last blog ..Burn Slowly in the Rotten Pits of Hell… =-.

    8. You had to buy the copy of the book that you contributed to? That’s f’d up. I got an autographed copy of the hardcover and since I was asked to help with the appendix of the paperback, the author is giving me “copies” – more than one – of that when it comes out in the spring. But the author’s a friend. Maybe that makes a difference?

      I would have given you a free copy, but that’s just me.
      .-= annie´s last blog ..Top Tenning and Decade Reviews =-.

    9. Two things:
      One: Any book about bathrooms is a winner with me. I would totally have jumped at an opportunity to write for one too.
      Two: Where can I buy a Motherfuckin’ Bear-O-Dactyl? I think it would get along smashingly with my dog. Then I could have a Motherfuckin’ Husky-Bear-O-Dactyl. I also love “7 Reasons to Keep your Tyrannosaur off Crack Cocaine” from The Oatmeal.

      Thanks Bloggess, “remember my tire iron! and my enchanting thong.”
      .-= Stephanie L´s last blog ..ASL =-.

    10. the fact that your photographic talent is riding your creative writing pinache is wildly entertaining. I happen to love all the pictures…really. I know that the majority is shits and giggles; however, you really are a great person…and I have never met ya! Thank you for your images and letting us into your bathroom when you couldn’t come out. It’s amazing that we all fit in here!

    11. I love that I’m one of the famed Bloggess-in-the-pisser photogs. Except that if you’re not making any money off the book, then I’m not making any money off the book if I’m even the photographer of the photo used in the book. Fuck that made my head hurt. I’m just happy to have spent time with you near a urinal. Really. With neither of us puking. It was a miracle, really. Although, I’m not usually a puker. I usually wish I was puking, which is far worse, IMO.
      .-= califmom´s last blog ..2 Live Crew, Meet The Tea Ass and Coffee Burro =-.

    12. Truthfully. I’m too tired to actually read anything that you posted. But, I like your bathroom pics. And I hope you feel better. And if you have the cure for rampant, raging, want to stab yourself in the uterus PMS, I’ll take it. Just email it to me. K. Thanks.

    13. Well…no matter WHAT….to ME….you are the cat’s meow….which now that I think of it is maybe not the right term….a cat’s meow is needy…..but like when they purr it’s awesome & rock…..
      In fact Fuck “The Cat’s Meow”….you are ‘The Cat’s Purr” like when they decide they like you and all snuggle on your head…..
      I’m not saying you want to snuggle on my head or purr I just think that sounds better…..
      Fuck don’t even listent to me…I am an International Flight attendant that has been to Honolulu, London (3xs), and now Vancouver– all since December 19th…..
      I don’t know what I am tallking about….but at least this time I have an excuse………..
      CHEERS & LOVE
      .-= Agent DragonFly´s last blog ..Insights into my job? & perhaps a year in review?? =-.

    14. Back when I was employed by some jackass, I used to enjoy having conversations with him and then throwing in “by mistake” this phrase… “That’s the jizz of it”

      The jackass would notice and say, ” Did you just say jizz?”

      I’d act offended and say, “no, no GIST.”

      But I really did say it. I really did.
      .-= absolutely not furiousBall´s last blog ..E Chromatic =-.

    15. I don’t reply here very often because you have such a huge following, but this post required a response. I too hide in the bathroom when overwhelmed or panicked. This weekend was spent with my ex-husband and his girlfriend. I had a panic attack and should have hidden in the bathroom, but I tried to hide it and pretend I was ok. I ended up crying and running from the building. Humiliating!

      Hope you are feeling better…

    16. All this collage is missing is a photo of someone wretching into the shitter…binging + purging was still cool during the original 90210 era, right?

      I do feel terrible that you’re one case of eczema away from kicking the bucket, so i’ll compliment you on your lovely Frida Kahlo inspired feet photo and the fact that you kinda like Goldie Hawn (bottom left)…you know, before she got really old.
      .-= Erika from The Pastry Chef At Home´s last blog ..Last Minute Gift Guide For The Food Lover in Your Life =-.

    17. You only think you spend a lot of time in the bathroom because you haven’t met my girlfriend. It’s easy to forgive her though. I entered college in 1971, when the “hot chicks” were sporting the Carole King, hairy armpit look. Funny thing is, “strong ,indepent, smart, hairy women” don’t like boys or sex. I’ll take implants, make up and fingernails any day.

    18. you are TOTALLY the first thing i look up in the morning as soon as enter the cyber-den! ever since i discovered thebloggess satellite, am like… F*** the entire Universe, this IS awesomeness redefined!
      fBed you, twitted about you and and if i was not a straight one… i would pretty much swing your way… (if ever!)

      catch this: Muahhh! 😀

      p.s: that does create doubts, as to, if i am a wannabe air-kissing socialite or am borderline swinger… :p

    19. Well since you are sick or allegedly sick maybe you will finally answer my email that I have been waiting oh, I don’t know OVER four months for…do you know how much crap I could have learned, wrote, accomplished and like everything um else okay already?
      .-= alyssa´s last blog ..A Great Diet For The New Year =-.

    20. I too spend a lot of time in the bathroom… sometimes it’s the only place I can hear myself think… and the door has a lock— very handy with 6 other people in the house bugging the crap out of me… ok I am in the bathroom right?
      And I too have Rheuamtoid Arthritis that is flaring like mad this past week or 2 or 3 … which sends me into the bathroom more frequently… where I can lock the door against the crazy people in my house… God! my life is so pathetic… thanks for helping me with my self-discovery… have a nice day, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom now…
      .-= Dawn´s last blog ..Can your Brain get full? Is there a limit to how much you can learn? Ever seen some of the people at Wal-Mart.. You know, I think the answer’s YES! =-.

    21. Flares suck. I have to share my secret with everyone who has rheumatism. I am on a steady diet of Mucinex due to this nasty chest cold I’ve been dealing with for two weeks. Mucinex is rumored to help some rheumatic conditions and dammit if the one I usually get around the holidays never came.
      I don’t know if it’s luck or science, but I think I’m going to add Mucinex to my regular lineup of dietary supplements and drugs.

      This sounds like a commercial. It’s not. Just advice from one twisted up rheumy to another.

      Feel better, lady.
      Happy New Year

    22. I hope you are finally feeling better. Happy New year! Lurv the collage. AND OMG. The bathroom book? I saw the name Sarah Bettens, and I know I need to get it. I have such a crush on her. Will you be at BlogHer this year? I so want to take another picture of you hiding in the bathroom. To me, that’s the only reason I want to be there.

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