UPDATED: You brought this on yourself, Morgan Freeman

in bizarre, mixing medications, no one thinks this is funny but me, Posts that will get me hate mail, Random Crap, rants

Dear Morgan Freeman:

What. the. fuck?

I’ve been rocking the cat-on-the-head look since January and then “suddenly” you show up on the scene with a cat on your head and expect me to believe it’s just a coincidence?  No, Morgan Freeman. No one is falling for this. Stop with all the lies.

Me, circa six weeks before you, Morgan Freeman.

This is exactly like that time that that German princess tried to steal my look and we had to get the king and Hitler involved except this is way worse because we’re both Americans, Morgan Freeman.  We’re on the same team, Morgan Freeman. And this hurts way more than the princess thing because I thought we had something special.  Remember?  Nine years ago at the Houston airport when I got lost and so did you and we both turned around at the same time and almost ran into each other and you gave me this look like “Hi.  I’m Morgan Freeman and I’m lost too.  We’re in this together, my friend.  Fight the good fight, little ninja” and then we totally had this moment that one of us never forgot that and it stayed in her heart as a special little bond until YOU TOTALLY FUCKED ME?  And yes, I realize that I might be overreacting but it doesn’t change the hurt, Morgan Freeman.  It’s lingering.  And painful.  All that goodwill you built up?  Gone. I can’t even watch any Morgan Freeman movies anymore.  Or movies narrated by you.  Which is pretty much every movie ever made.  Awesome.  Now I never get to go to the movies again.  Nice job, Morgan Freeman.  You just ruined the entire film industry.

Hugs,

That-girl-at-the-airport-that-one-time-who-was-wearing-a-grey-t-shirt, I think

Updated:  Okay, so apparently people have been wearing cats on their heads since Victorian times…

Huh.

…but that doesn’t really count because I know from experience that balancing a dead cat on your head is super easy but balancing a live cat is a fucking talent so it’s not even close to the same thing, you guys.  Plus, now that I think about it, it’s possible that the cat on Morgan Freeman’s head is dead too, which actually makes this whole debacle even worse because Morgan Freeman is one of the most talented actors of our time yet he killed a cat just so that a photoshoot would go a little easier?*  Way to phone it in, Morgan Freeman. You’re dead to me.

*I don’t actually know for sure that Morgan Freeman killed a cat.   But he probably did.**  I mean, he doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would kill a cat but he also doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would steal an old friend’s cat-head portrait idea either so I think all bets are off now.

**When I said that Morgan Freeman “probably killed a cat” I really meant that Morgan Freeman “may or may not have killed a cat”.  Obviously I don’t really have any way of knowing that.  He may have just paid someone else to kill the cat.  All I really know is that a cat is dead and that it’s Morgan Freeman’s fault.***

***Allegedly.  Which in this case means “based on facts I may have made up or dreamt”.  I’m sorry.  A lot of this is just the hurt talking.

You broke my heart, Morgan Freeman.

UPDATED X 2: My friend Bekka defends Morgan Freeman using this video as evidence that possibly Morgan Freeman is the victim here: “Sometimes cats just want to be on your head and there’s nothing you can do about it, EVEN IF YOU HAVE A GUN. Cats just don’t respect authority.”  Not buying it, Bekka.  Morgan Freeman knows exactly what he’s doing.

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Comment of the day: I think you might be making assumptions, because I think the cat is probably Morgan Freeman’s driver/controller. Like the bitty aliens that drove the human bodies in ‘Men in Black.’ What I can’t figure out is if there is an inner compartment and the cat is just going to pee or something or if that is just where his controls are. How much makeup would it take to cover up an entire cat? This is probably why he narrates so much. ~ Rachel

261 thoughts on “UPDATED: You brought this on yourself, Morgan Freeman”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. THAT CAT ON THAT WOMAN’S HEAD IS NOT ALIVE. I’m gonna have nightmares.

    Also how the fuck does Morgan Freeman still manage to look distinguished with a fucking KITTEN ON HIS HEAD.

    Thank you for bringing these issues to my attention.
    .-= Maria´s last blog ..frakking divas =-.

  5. Plus, he’s just got a tiny little kitten up there and you’re balancing like a cat and half on top of your towel turban. Morgan Freeman wishes he could rock the cat on the head look as well as you!
    .-= Jill´s last blog ..Looking up =-.

  8. I feel that the only way this relationship can possibly be repaired is if the two of you get together for your own reality tv show. Since the cat is a point of contention, ditch them. Get a labrador and a lemur and tour big city airports in a golf cart.
    I’d pay to see that.

  9. Kind of makes me ashamed to live in his hometown. I might have to move. Thanks, Morgan Freeman.

  11. Actually this is just further proof that you rule. Soon all celebrities will be wearing cats on their heads, and then Wal-Mart and Target will be selling faux cat hats.

    It may not be to late to copyright. Better get thee to thy attorneys post haste!
    .-= Pete´s last blog ..Fort Lauderdale-deedoody =-.

  14. Oh, so not the same thing, because while your cat is clearly sitting on top of your head, that poor little black kitty is sort of, you know, stapled to the back of Morgan’s head.

    Or hanging for dear life onto the hair on the back of his head with tiny kitty claws.

    Or just PhotoShopped in. Yeah, that’s it…
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..The Zen of Zentangles =-.

  15. I just hope he doesn’t turn this into another Isaac Newton vs Gottfried Leibniz debacle. You know, like last time.

  19. Holy bejezus…. It’s like a train wreck. I don’t want to keep looking at the dead cat on the Victorian woman’s head, but I just can’t help it. AAAAAHHHHHHH. I don’t like it. I don’t like it AT ALL.

    Jenny, however, is adorable with a cat on her head, and I hate to say it, but so is Morgan Freeman. You should feel good, though. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery/ creepy stalking. Ohmigosh!! Morgan Freeman is totally stalking you!! YAY!!!

  24. the cat does not make morgan freeman look younger or slimmer. so you win.

    PS: i just saw that video of the cat on your turban on youtube recently and did not even know it was you! see!! you really do win!!

  25. What we’re not seeing is the next photo in the series where the cat yells “This picture is derivative crap, just like Robin Hood! Go cry to Clint Eastwood!” then clawed his ears off.
    .-= Rebekah´s last blog ..Six Degrees of Mommy =-.

  27. I would have never suspected that Morgan Freeman kills cats. Thank you very much for the warning. I will keep an eye out for the cat killer!

  29. To be charitable, you’ve no idea whether the kitten (alive or otherwise) is not just perched on a stool that’s sitting on a table BEHIND Morgan Freeman’s head. I mean, it’s OBVIOUS that the cat on your head is actually ON YOUR HEAD. What with being able to see the paws and the balancing and the whole tail thing. But the other kitten? That could be a fraudulent headcat.
    .-= cenobyte´s last blog ..Doubleyou tee Eff =-.

  30. What actually worries me most here is that I’m not entirely sure Morgan Freeway is AWARE he has a cat on his head. Because from his expression it seems like he might not be. And if he IS aware, look how much smaller his headcat is than yours? Either way, it just equals sad.
    .-= Lesley´s last blog ..Yes, We Really Do Have Our Own Baseball Stadium Here At Um…What?? Headquarters (We Also Have an Indoor Ice Rink and A Skydiving Wind Tunnel Training Facility) (Okay, We Don’t Have Any Of These Things) (We Do Have A Carport, Though) =-.

  32. You are still much more awesome than Morgan Freeman. His feline appears to be a kitten, and yours is obviously a full grown cat. You win!

  33. um, that woman’s collar says puss. and she’s kind of turned at an awkward angle so it could even potentially say pussy.
    also, you think they would at least make the cat look more natural once they taxidermied it. it just looks horrified at being dead and on some victorian woman named pussy’s head.
    also, i think that last sentence was grammatically incorrect.

  37. It’s like Schrödinger’s cat but with hair. (Everyone loves a good physics joke, right?)

    … and I see pixels and stuff on Mr. Freeman’s personal Basement Cat! It’s a shoop!
    .-= Cyndi´s last blog ..Dear Shirt.Woot =-.

  40. Do these celebrities ever find out about your posts and get all uppity on you?

    I wonder, because I was thinking about the Heloise encounter and how you TOTES should have asked what you wanted to ask her, because, hell yes, baking soda, right?!

    Anyway, so I was thinking about that, and suddenly it hit me: I think Heloise is the one who fanned out your sex mags. THINK ABOUT IT.
    .-= Sarah p´s last blog ..Attention, attention! Ladies, gentlemen and you there! =-.

  48. Yeah, but both Freeman and that dead woman are just sitting there. You’re brushing your teeth with a cat on your head. Could Morgan Freeman do that? No. You are obviously much more skilled than they are.

    Maybe it’s time for a Cat-On-The-Head Olympics.
    .-= Chag´s last blog ..Scheming =-.

  50. Thanks for giving me yet another reason to not watch movies. As if the lifetime ban from all local movie theaters wasn’t enough. (Apparently, the cops get kinda mad if you stab the jerk sitting next to you. Who knew??)

    Also, as I was reading this, my tweetdeck came up with a new tweet. Apparently, there’s a cat in the Boston area with 1.5 million twitter followers. Guessing it’s not Morgan’s cat though, since that looks more like a robotic talking cat I saw on TV once.

  52. That Morgan Freeman kitten looks bored. Your cat on the other hand looks…fierce. Or really scared. One of those.

  53. i’ve totally lost my train of thought re: morgan freeman idolizing you, because as i read the comments, i see …”last blog..while on the potty” and i’m just…totally grossed out. no offense, potty person. but. ew? I HOPE YOU WASHED YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU POSTED. i should probably go wash my eyes, just in case.

  54. I have some GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS.

    The Good News is you are RIGHT. Morgan Freeman is totally a pose thief.

    The Bad News, it’s not from you but from Auguste Rodin’s “The Thinker”.

    They reason I know he isn’t ALSO stealing your Cat On The Head idea, is because that picture is way old, due to the fact that he is using his “dead hand” to prop up his head, which since his car accident a couple years ago would be impossible to do.
    .-= Ed Adams´s last blog ..How did I get so FAT?…..Thankfully, I’m still sexy! =-.

  56. I must know — are you laughing hysterically when you write this shit? Because I am dying over here. Ooohooo, this is hilarity to me. Anyway, why would anyone pose for a picture with a cat on their head? I mean, at least with you, the cat is in action, the cat is drawn to the top of your head and jumps up there for whatever reason. But the others are *posed* with cats on their heads? That doesn’t make any sense! It’s not art. It’s just weird.
    .-= Andrea´s last blog .."Cousins" =-.

  57. In a contest, I’d give the Best Picture of Cat on Head award to you. The one on yours is massive. Size matters, ladies and gents. Don’t let the propaganda fool you.

  58. In Morgan’s defence you’re awesome so he’d want to copy you…but then again he does have a cute kitten, while you have a grown cat. Tough one.
    🙂
    .-= cassey´s last blog ..Nerves =-.

  59. I think there is a big difference in the pictures. You have a cat sitting on your head. The cat on Morgan Freeman’s is clearly trying to fuck Morgan’s hair.
    .-= William´s last blog ..The Other Man. =-.

  60. Apparently Ms Cat-On-Head was also the forerunner of another current fashion trend. That “PUSS” necklace? The “JUICY” necklace of yesterday. Thanks, bitch.

  61. U want to read all of your commenter’s blogs. Because they all sound awesome.
    That being said I am with everyone else that said the kitten is photoshopped. And there by not as cool. But the first time I saw your pic With your cat I thought that was photoshopped as well.so yeah. No idea where I’m going with this. So I’ll quit now.

  62. And you expect us to believe that you overlooked the “Pussy” choke collar? Pussy say wha? You’re obviously not a true cat-in-head-portraitist until you have your pussy choke collar. So unless Morgan Freeman gets one before you, you’re still in the game.
    .-= Yellaphant´s last blog ..Notes from the Iberian Coasts =-.

  66. Little girl: “Mommy, Daddy, I want a dead cat to wear on my head.”
    Parents: “Hmmm, no, that’s just weird.”
    Little girl: “But I want a dead cat!”
    Parents: “Then you’ll have to marry Morgan Freeman, and that’s final!”
    Little girl: “Can I have a victorian wedding then?”
    Parents: “Absolutely.”

    I’m on pain meds. *shrugs*

  67. Well actually you are BOTH copying me as I had a pic of my cat on my head taken in December – William, his name is. He used to be called Ethel but then we discovered balls.
    .-= Fishy´s last blog ..Mildred to the Rescue =-.

  68. Every time I read your blog, I think “Who thinks like this?” Obviously, you do. Wow.

  71. Morgan Freeman showed up in my dream a few nights ago. He was, however, sans cat.

  72. I pictured your delivery of that last line was just like the scene in Anchorman where Veronica Corningstone says to Ron Burgundy (in the middle of the newsroom after Baxter gets booted off the bridge and Veronica reads the news and Ron calls her a scorpion woman), “You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy.”

    Except it’s “Mr. Freeman” and Veronica Corningstone has a cat on her head.
    .-= Ells´s last blog ..Getting some restraint =-.

  74. ok, seriously, I have laryngitis right now and am laughing like a silent hyena…thanks a lot!

    btw…I’m not a big fan of cats (at least as far as my kids and husband are concerned – I can’t show weakness), but I do love what you do with them!
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Plague, skiing, Dooce and Pioneer Woman =-.

  75. I hear that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Which I think means that you are officially cooler than Morgan Freeman. I smell a movie collaboration in your future. Or maybe that’s just the dead cat.
    .-= Cheddar´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: Dating Tips =-.

  76. Well fuck me sideways with a butterknife! Great, now I can’t watch The Shawshank Redeption EVER AGAIN without looking for that freaking CAT on his head every 2 BLOODY MINUTES! Pfft. Ruined. An all time favorite classic Morgan Freeman movie IN MY PERSONAL COLLECTION just ruined. That cat will be stalking me in every scene now.

    I mean I JUST GOT OVER the whole cat stalking issue on all your pics, how the hell can I manage this now too!? I’m pissed at both of you. You cat wearing stalker weirdos.

    Alright fine, I you win. You did the whole cat thing first and thus Morgan is a total douchebag for copying. On the other hand I’m still pissed at you both for making me relive this trauma. *sigh*
    .-= Mesina´s last blog ..Ask Me: March prize and official launch =-.

  77. *gasp* I never thought that Morgan Freeman could be such a copycat (I hope he is a little, cause catkiller is so much worse)! Anyway, your pic looks much better so I’m sure you’ll win the award when there is one.
    .-= zorindha´s last blog ..A gamer’s confession =-.

  78. I’m sure Marie Antoinette had a cat on her head at least once because she loved putting stuff in her hair. I think that’s why the French citizens chopped off her head, just to stop all that nonsense. A cat and towel are one thing, but she over-accessorized.

    I love you and Morgan Freeman, so I’m not sure who to support on this one. You both look great wearing cats, although you’re cute, while he somehow manages to look distinguished, as usual. I considered contacting his rep. to find out when the picture was taken, but I’m just going to let it be a draw.

    Wait! I just remembered that you’re a cat czar, so this may change things.
    .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..House Hunt =-.

  79. I’m thinking Morgan Freeman is the victim here… have you seen him in person since your encounter at the airport? He was probably kidnapped by zombie terrorists, who’ve had him locked away and drugged, and they’ve leaked this photo as a secret message just to you… to say, “we’re coming for you, czarina! and you’re little cat, too!” I feel sorry for the guy, honestly…
    .-= Jean´s last blog ..Snow Day =-.

  84. I think you might be making assumptions, because I think the cat is probably Morgan Freeman’s driver/controller. Like the bitty aliens that drove the human bodies in ‘Men in Black.’

    What I can’t figure out is if there is an inner compartment and the cat is just going to pee or something or if that is just where his controls are. How much makeup would it take to cover up an entire cat? That is probably why he narrates so much.

  87. OMG. Seriously, I will never be the same. Why in the HELL would you ever put a DEAD cat on your head? I mean, I totally get the live cat thing. My cat jumps up on my shoulder like he’s a frickin’ parrot and that’s cool. But if I wandered around with a dead cat on my shoulder? Straight to jail, like Monopoly. WTF.
    .-= Kendahl´s last blog ..POM Wonderful Review =-.

  89. Isn’t imitation the sincerest form of flattery or something like that? Maybe he just wants to be you. If you see a picture of him in a confidence wig you’ll know he’s trying to take over your life. Maybe its like that movie…I don’t remember the name but it possibly had Jennifer Jason Leigh in it and she wanted this other woman’s life and she started to take it over. So tell Victor if he comes home and you look really tan that its not you…its really Morgan Freeman.
    .-= lanned´s last blog ..Pretend judgmental people suck =-.

  90. your cat is bigger. his is probs just an homage to that girl in the airport who made him feel like everyone else that one time.

  92. (a) I *actually* heard your conversation with Morgan Freeman in a Morgan Freeman voice (except he said “the only card you’ll ever need” at the end). Thank you for the confirmation that I am actually not really all that stable.

    (b) I bet if you turn that woman around, that “PUSS” actually reads “PUSSY GALORE”. You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do Ian Fleming.

    Given I read (b) into that, I guess I probably already knew about the unstable thing.
    .-= harmzie´s last blog ..Balentimes =-.

  95. You totally win the gold in Cat on the Head wearing since your cat is way bigger and could totally kick Morgan Freeman’s cat’s ass!

  96. See, that right there is not right.
    Dear Morgan,
    You cannot copy the bloggess headgear. We request that you return the cat immediately to the Unicorns so they may nuzzle it and return to the rightful cat lady.
    Govern yourself accordingly, Morgan.

    The Bloggess Legal Dream Team. <——-Yeah!

  97. I m not sure the pic is victorian. for god’s sake, her necklace spells pussy.
    I think. I can’t be sure. It isn’t necessarily old, it’s just black & white.

    and also, news flash PHOTOSHOP.
    no dead cats, no actor murderers, no paid killers, no nothing. nada.

  98. You do realize that Morgan Freeman is a homewrecking creep wanna be right? Morgan Freeman totally hit on my husband one time in LA…I am not kidding. Just watch out for him. This cat on the head thing that he stole from you is his way of worming his way into Victors heart. Watch out…Morgan Freeman is a hussy!

  99. WOw. that’s all I can say. And Rhia, hate to burst your bubble, but there was such a thing as porn in vic times. (Essentially, ever since we’ve had the ability to reproduce images, we’ve been taking pictures of the reproductive bits.)
    .-= adulterousellie´s last blog ..Confessions =-.

  103. again, holy LORD you are hilarious. I kinda peed a little while reading. But that, again, is totally my children’s fault for completely fucking up my bladder’s ability to, you know, bladder….

  104. Don’t you worry Jenny! You were the first “Cat Person” with a cat on their head honored on our blog. So what if Morgan is all like “Ohhh, I want a cat on my head because Jenny had one on her head and she got on the TPPC.tv blog.” Morgan sweetie, you can’t train YOUR kitty to be a bumpit too…you just couldn’t carry the look.
    By the way Morgan, the countless number of calls from your “People” begging us to feature YOU as a cat person, obviously isn’t working. Your ugly little secret is out. We will never, ever, ever feature you as a cat person ever…never. Put the kitty down Morgan, step away from the kitty cat!

    On another note, the Victorian picture is really disturbing because wearing 1/2 of a dead stuffed cat hat is just…yucky.

    To see Jenny honored as a cat person all the way back on January 25 go to http://www.tppc.tv/blog2/?p=125
    .-= Lookielou´s last blog ..What Goes Around, Comes Around =-.

  105. Dead cats and Morgan Freeman are my living nightmare. Thanks for the reminder. I tried to put my live, small as shit chihuahua on my head and he fell. On the tile floor.

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  109. I’m thinking it’s maybe time someone call the SPCA about Morgan Freeman and the cat incident. Because that cat looks like it’s actually stuck in Morgan Freeman’s hair, and to me, that would be considered abuse. Cat abuse, to be exact. Which is illegal, isn’t it? Or close enough to maybe have some kick Morgan Freeman’s little ass, and have him stop taking full and clear advantage of The Bloggess in every way possible.
    .-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..State Of Being =-.

  110. The cat on his head totally looks drugged and is disproportionately tiny. Clearly, you are more talented at the cat balancing and being a goodwill ambassador for all felines. That dead cat is creepy.

  112. sorry, i’m going with God on this one *winks to the sky* after all, if God and basement cat are in the same picture the apocalypse is nigh…

  117. Morgan is totally copying you… even though that photo dates from some time before last November, it doesn’t matter. He was just copying you ahead of time.

  120. Morgan Freeman is pure awesomeness. Named my fish after him and we call it Morgan Freeman, not just Morgan. Like the man, total awesomeness. I’d be willing to bet that HE didn’t steal your idea… the photographer did. Give the man a little credit. He is Morgan Freeman after all. I’ll bet ya that’s what happened.
    .-= Denise´s last blog ..Mini wonky pot vase =-.

  121. “Based upon facts I pulled directly out of my ass….”

    (I stole it from someone else, so it seems unavoidable that I share the booty of that wonderful little nugget with someone else who may be able to use it. I mean, after THAT ordeal – having Morgan Freeman lost to you, possibly having to sneak a horse head into his bed while he sleeps – I mean UGH – you really needed a little pick-me-up. You’re WELCOME!)
    .-= JustLinda´s last blog ..Everybody gets a trophy! =-.

  122. How do you do it? I’m in stitches. No, not dead cat stitches. Just Daniel stitches. But does it really matter? Stitches are stitches. I might as well have stolen the stitches from Morgan Freeman’s dead cat. Because after all, what does he need with a perfectly poised dead cat on his head?

    Maybe without the stitches his cat will ooze off the side of his head and this whole debacle can be put behind us. Probably not. Morgan Freeman doesn’t need some stupid stitches to keep the dead cat poised. It probably hangs suspended just above his head by the power of his voice. I mean word. No, not like Jesus. Like… well. Someone else. Other than Jesus. But who plays Jesus. Or nearly Jesus. God. Or a black man in a nice suit claiming to be God.

    This is all so very confusing.
    .-= Daniel´s last blog ..The Power of Your Story and Simple Choices to Participate =-.

  123. Taxidermists should totally invest in this. Good way to revitalize the industry. (Which I can only assume must be dying as I have not seen a stuffed animal in anyone’s house since I was eight … that was actually really disturbing for eight-year-old me … )
    .-= Kate´s last blog ..New York: Part Two =-.

  127. Honestly– the whole thing just grosses me out– I mean, cats are nice and all, but they walk around in a box of thier own poo and then sit on your head? While you brush you teeth? It’s like smearing poop in your mouth. I can’t handle it.

  129. Easy Reader clearly reads, and admires The Czar of Nothingness, The Bloggess. This must be his way of showing the world what you do is *so* hard and he wants to do it *so* bad that he’s willing to start with kittens.

    We should cheer his efforts in aspiring to be more Bloggessy. What have the rest of the Hollywood cockknuckles done to pay tribute. Oh, and he should apologize for not running by you first. Would him tweeting that be sufficient?

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  131. I have not read all the comments for this post, so I do not know if someone else has already made this point. Morgan Freeman is now “the voice” of the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric. http://blogs.tampabay.com/media/2010/01/morgan-freeman-takes-over-as-vocie-of-the-cbs-evening-news-with-katie-couric.html So, I guess you don’t watch her now either? I, personally, would prefer they bring back Walter Cronkite’s voice.
    .-= Cindy´s last blog ..Violets =-.

  132. OMG Jenny – You are too funny!
    Forget about Morgan Freeman and the little kitty so obviously nestled in his hair. How did you get that huge cat to sit on your head?? While BRUSHING your teeth no less?! (You brushing your teeth, not the cat brushing your teeth. Oh, you know what I mean.) My cat would’ve shred my bare shoulders on her way to the food dish.
    Thanks for the laugh!
    .-= Juliana, aka Kernut´s last blog ..When Lost in the Crenshaw District of L.A., Sacrifice The Blond =-.

  133. Jenny, I found this and I’m convinced you’ve set your kitty loose on the world, especially the policemen of the world, to wreak havoc in your name. What do you have against the police, Jenny? That said, the cat seems to love said policeman pretty intensely, just perhaps a little inappropriately for a work setting. The point is, sometimes cats just want to be on your head and there’s nothing you can do about it, EVEN IF YOU HAVE A GUN. Cats just don’t respect authority.

    http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2010/02/the_cat_and_the.html

  137. I’m a new reader to your blog and I just have to say… I have no idea why… but this post made me laugh SO HARD. Write your damn book so I can pay you money for making me laugh. XOXO

  142. i still think you have the upper hand here. at least you used a FULL sized cat on your head. anyone can balance a kitten on their head.
    anyone.
    in fact, i think he should lose points for using a kitten in the first place.
    it just seems like cheating.
    .-= steff´s last blog ..BlogHer Bound? =-.

  144. Morgan Freeman & Victorian Lady’s Head Cats can suck it! Jenny, your HEAD CAT is WAAAAAAYYY BETTER!

  145. I think you’re looking at this all wrong. You’re starting a fashion trend here. It’s like Parachute pants, but way cooler. I say you up the game on these fuckers, show them what real cat headwear fashion is all about. You should bedazzle yours, maybe add a feather or even a pocket for treats. It can double as a change purse. Some of the best ideas in fashion are born from functionality. I’ll put together some sketches and make some calls.
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Mayo Promotes His New Film =-.

  147. Unfortunately, instead of fuzzy cats/kitten hats, in our house we have the 45 lb. Boxer asshat. Lovely to look at, but hell on the head and neck.

  148. I think that kitten is actually in control of Mr. Freeman’s brain. It’s the puppet master, which explains all of the recent reports in Variety about Morgan Freeman cruelly toying with injured mice and then disemboweling them. Plus people out here were wondering why he was shitting in sandboxes all the time. Mystery solved!

  153. Wow, that is totally like the time I wore this black dress with all these hand painted gold triangles all over it to a family dinner. And then Lady GaGa wore the EXACT SAME THING to a photo shoot. Like HELLO! She didn’t even make the triangles herself. Bitch.

  155. Anyone else picturing Morgan as he was in his Electric Company Days…as one of the two shadowed-out face silhouettes, him saying “Dead”, and his counterpart saying “Cat” and then together them saying “Dead Cat”?

    ….just me?

  156. I’m sorry that Morgan Freeman hurt you but enough about you – let’s talk about me. No one has EVER tenderly called me “little ninja” and I didn’t realize how much I needed it until this effin’ moment. Thanks for that.
    .-= Vikki´s last blog ..Thoughts on Parenting =-.

  159. Morgan Freeman should go back to the Electric Company and leave the living cat-hat fashion to you, the professional.

  160. How does someone go from the Electric Company to playing God in a major motion picture anyway? That’s got to be an infraction of some Screen Actors Guild thing. It’d be different if he’d started playing God in movies then has-beened himself to Electric Company, but this is just weird. Now that I think about it, maybe Morgan Freeman is an alien who hides his probing tools inside the faux cat on his head.

  161. Based on the photographic evidence, Mr. Freeman not only killed a kitten, but decapitated it as well. Where the fuck is the rest of that kitten?

  166. Kittens on Morgan Freeman’s head graduate to becoming full grown cats on The Bloggess… so, think about Morgan Freeman as the training ground for Bloggessness. Kittens who can’t cut it are eaten by his hair… true story.
    .-= HannahBanana´s last blog ..The day that would not end. =-.

  169. I have a solution for the Morgan Freeman dilemma. You need to don that stuffed pig on your fine cranium. What’s-his-name, General Custer? James Garfield? Yeah, THAT ONE. I can’t think of anyone who puts stuffed pigs on top of their wigs. Your very own pig wig. I expect this at the next conference. Make it so.
    .-= imaginary binky´s last blog ..When gremlins strike =-.

  171. ***You just ruined the entire film industry.***

    I’m sending this to my friend at Warner Brothers because they have no clue why movies suck.

    On an unrelated note, every time I post a comment it’s on a Friday and so it appears that “my latest post” is always the same fucking post so your Last Post Widget is making me look more lazy than I am.
    .-= Suzy´s last blog ..It’s Everybody Can Bite Me Friday! =-.

  172. Victorian dead-cat-on-her-head lady? CREEEEPPPYYYY!!!!

    You live-cat-on-your-head lady? Very cute!

    Him kitten-perhaps-on-his-head-or-perhaps-photoshopped guy? ummm… No.

    (PS, you’re a featured mention in my latest post, btw – in case you care!)
    (PPS, Yes, that’s an unabashed plea for you to read it!)
    .-= gurukarm (@karma_musings)´s last blog ..I’m Not Going to BlogHer’10 =-.

  174. That is just a CAT that is the love child of Morgan Freeman and the Catwoman, or Pussy Galore…one of those two women…I read it somewhere.

  175. Are we just going to ignore the deadcatlady’s “Pussy” choker? I’m pretty sure Morgan Freeman is wearing one, too. Totally undignified.

  176. Pingback: but you can call me “Her Highest Petticoat Potentate”

  185. Oh come on, COMPLETE OVERREACTION. I mean think about it: you are rocking the cat-on-the-turban look. Each of the other examples cited has cat-directly-on-head.
    They are light years away from attaining your level of multi-item-stacking-on-head-ability.

    Plus, whatever happened to “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”? I think you’re kind of jumping to a conclusion here – an erroneous conclusion – that Morgan Freeman has not been replaying that airport lost moment EVERY DAY SINCE IT HAPPENED. And just wishing he could be as cool as you.

    Tho obvs, he totally skipped the turban step.

    But FWIW he does look rather distinguished, even avec chat. Something hard to do when naked with towel turban. Pride has no place in cat-on-turban-balancing. QED: it is HUBRIS keeping morgan freeman from achieving his goal of being as cool as you. Poooor, poor morgan freeman.
    .-= Della´s last blog ..My Prince is Two =-.

  188. Why does the victorian woman look so effing happy about the dead cat on her head? Was the cat a murderer? Did the cat somehow “have it coming”? Are the ashes of her husband’s first wife/her former employer stuffed inside the cat?

    Did Victoria have a thing about cats and encourage the people to have them slaughtered and made into hats?

    Also how scratched up must that cop’s junk be, man? I’m pretty confident that the tape cut when it did because that cop shot that cat in the head before it could shred his manhood YET AGAIN.

    What does Morgan Freeman smell like in real life in an airport? Does he smell like Patchouli? I’ve always imagined he smells like a leather and pipe tobacco, but I hate people who smell like Patchouli so now I’m wondering.

  189. I cant believe you blamed Morgan Freeman. Now I have to stop my friend at Warner Brothers from reading my email and pretend I was in the middle of a heart attack when I pressed send.

    Your callous disregard for the motion picture industry breaks what damaged part of my heart I have left.
    .-= Suzy´s last blog ..It’s Everybody Can Bite Me Friday! =-.

  190. But who’s to say that cat is not just Photoshopped in there? It’s easy enough to do. Maybe he’s just emulating your look through computer trickery and whatnot.

  193. Watching any movie with Morgan Freeman in it has NOW been ruined. When I see him now, I will always think of “The Cat ON the Head” pic .

    For anyone playing The MORGAN FREEMAN Drinking game………

    MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN

  194. Is it just me or does the Puss Lady look like you? Maybe you are she, reincarnated? And your cat knows and that’s why he jumped on your turban? And, maybe, there is some kind of cat ESP between your cat and Morgan’s baby cat (could it be an niece kitty?) and your cat told the kitty to jump on Morgan so he would remember you?

    So maybe it is ALL GOOD and the message is Morgan does remember you. He is communing through his photo, “Bloggess, if I told everyone of my fondness for you they would be too puzzled and your world would be filled with speculation and paparazzi. Let me love and admire from a distance. Peace, my airport friend.”

  196. O.M.G. What if Morgan Freeman is aligned with your neice and going to steal kitten mittens next? Watch your back lady, watch your back…
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Jumping Queens =-.

  199. That picture is a visual ambush. At first it’s just lovable ol’ Morgan Freeman, and then the cat materializes upon his head.
    This cat is utterly out of place and sinister. Makes me wonder if the cat is supposed to be there or if this is one of those spirit photographs and Morgan Freeman has a malevolent dead cat on his trail.
    Which, again, would indicate that Mr. Freeman is a feline assassin.
    …Not a cat that IS an assassin, but an assassin…-ator OF cats…

  200. My cat Isabel insists on draping herself over my shoulder all the time. But only one of them. Consequently, after seven years together, my right side is starting to become arthritic, and I’m all sorts of off-kilter. I’m 29, so this doesn’t bode well for my longevity. Anyway, I thought about not posting this information here, for fear that Morgan Freeman would read this and duplicate my cat-on-cuerpo scenario. But then I thought, wait, no, this is the perfect plan, because when Morgan “Copy Cat” Freeman does swipe this idea (and he will), then he’ll be stricken with arthritis, too. Reverse psychology, get it? Your pain-free, two-shouldered days are numbered, Morgan Freeman.

  202. That chick with the dead cat on her head looks like Deborah from Everybody Loves Raymond. Weird.

  204. I’m sorry… I had a witty response to your post until I saw the video and now all I can think of is how AWESOME it would have been to be the person getting that ticket, seeing the policeman getting jacked up by a cat. This post has renewed my love for felines, even if they pee on my laundry and eat plastic bags.

  205. I think you guys stole the cat on the head idea from me. I’ve been rockin this (stylish?) cat on the head look since last summer.

  206. See, this is the problem with celebrities today. We enable them when we allow them to get away with it. This was a closed set. This man wore this cat as a hat with the intent of a direct shot at Jenny. It wasn’t even a warning shot. Pow! right in the center of the hull (metaphor chosen due to your naval experience). Again, I think we need to see you take this to the next level. I’m talking rhinestones, feathers and how about a little hat for your cat? A little hat that looks like you. Morgan would take his cat off to you.
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Mayo Promotes His New Film =-.

  209. It is too bad you have decided to battle Morgan Freeman since he has narrated just about every movie out there ….. he probably has the kitten there to whisper sweet nothings into his ear.

  210. Way to alienate the handicapped. Morgan Freeman’s left hand is paralyzed, so he can no longer hold a pussy and stroke it at the same time. To overcome this, he wears them on his head. Way to overcome Morgan.

  214. Yeah? I think I saw that Morgan J Freeman is producing a show on MTV called “Sixteen and Pregnant” wonder what he’s bringing on himself next? Hee hee

  216. Do you suppose the guy getting the ticket said to the cop: “Officer, it’s really hard to take you seriously with that pussy on your head”??!!??

    That video is a riot!

  217. Dude, if I had a cat on my head I wouldn’t tell you, Jenny. Mostly cause I would be freaking out too much about a cat being on my freaking head but also I’d be scared of you and your minions or whatever. Just…don’t hurt me. I’ve never had a cat on my head…okaybye

  220. That woman with the cat hat totally ate the cat’s vital organs and THAT STUFF ONLY FLIES IN ASIA AND YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT EVEN PAKISTANI SO DON’T PRETEND YOU ARE YOU SICK CAT-INNARDS EATING FREAK! Also, what the hell, spellcheck? I can’t have a singular form of innards? People have multiple innards so I can’t just have one?

    Also, I don’t think Pakistani people eat cats, because that isn’t even hilal, bro.

  221. yep, and I was about to embarass my self and tell you both to give it up since we all know the cat on your head look is so 18th century – thank god you beat me to it. I hear babies are the new cat anyway.

  223. I’m going to have to pray very hard now, because I love my Jenny the Bloggess and I have an awestruck love of Morgan Freeman ever since the Electric Company, cause even then he seemed to have class, despite the suede fringe and tye-dyed headband in his ‘fro. Plus, I’m an admitted movie junkie ~ and Jenny Junkie, so now I am torn beyond belief.

    I think you need to be the bigger person and forgive Morgan Freeman. I mean, with both pictures, you would have the most awesome marketing campaign ever for the kitten-mittens. Just sayin’.
    .-= Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..Y’all Are Messing With Me, Right? =-.

  224. Morgan Freeman = Pussy Magnet.
    Cops and Victorian chicks too, apparently.
    Just testing a theory, but I’m guessing you get hit on by lesbians a lot.
    I’m right, aren’t I.
    .-= Ed´s last blog ..Danny and the Pretty Ponies =-.

  225. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, the Freeman cat is alive. (And I’m not saying it is.) Clearly, it’s a kitten as opposed to the healthy, brawny feline perched atop your head. He doesn’t need any balance for a wee kitten. It could be duct-taped to the back of his head. Or it could have no body and be hooked up to some elaborate life support system. In that case, Mr. Freeman wouldn’t even need tape. A couple hairpins would do. Then again, it could just be a hairy, kitten-shaped tumor growing on his head. After what he did to you, I hope it’s a cancerous kitty tumor. Not fatal or anything, just scary enough to wipe the smirk off his face.
    .-= kathcom´s last blog ..Chocolate Powered by Prayer: Product of the Week =-.

  230. Heh. I just came over to mention the Cute Overload video and see that Binary beat me to it. Who wants to bet that cats-on-the-head are this spring’s hot new accessory on the fashion runway?
    .-= Cobwebs´s last blog ..What’s Pink and Tubular? =-.

  231. It’s his ear tug for that gal he met at an air port once. He never forgot.

  236. Pingback: Monday is the new Sunday. Unless this is Tuesday. Someone send me a calendar — TheBloggess.com

  239. Apparently, famous authors are also adopting this new fad. Libba Bray, New York Times Bestselling author of “The Gemma Doyle Trilogy” and “Going Bovine” has just posted in her blog that HER cat is sitting on her head. I’m thinking we should all jump off this bandwagon before it gets really out of control. Think about it, Jenny, this could be dangerous. I mean, people putting cats on their heads in the car, or while operating heavy machinery, or when taking a shower (cats don’t like water, and eyes WILL get gouged out). You’re on the verge of about a million lawsuits right now. Let Morgan Freeman take the credit.

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  243. First of all , all this attention that is being put forth directed at What’s His Name , ( Who Cares ) , isn’t deserved of it in the first place , The focus should be on these beautiful and wonderful children that have put this thing with a man’s name in his rightful place , Under the Cat. Never have I read more inspiring words then these written here by our True Fathers Children , for the ELECT Children of God Himself are here amongst us, and its beyond my words to describe how proud He and I are of them for speaking there minds and standing up for themselves the way they have here , God Bless you Children , and Parents alike for your outstanding views and truths on a matter that affects us all in this life under the Son.

  244. Cheers to all you good people on a job well done , For heavens sakes My last comments were from the heart , and I wasn’t being one bit sarcastic in anyway , I’ve read every one of the comments above and think it was outstanding the rightful things that were said , So please dont stop now , I left this message two days ago and no new blogs yet , I did not mean to have it come to a screeching halt , by all means keep those wonderful blogs coming , we need people like you to speak up more often , it helps the community to see whats going on around them , plus I was looking forward to reading more of them .

  245. I’ve enjoyed reading all these comments so much that I want to give something back in return , I wrote a poem back in the 90’s that I want to share with you all , cuz I would not change a thing about anyone of you , all have written such interesting comments. My poem is called Change I hope you enjoy it , its simple , its kinda fun its how I feel about all of you , please dont Change.
    ~ Change~ Just me sometimes three, what ever the mood I have for thee.
    I have small wants, sometimes big , I have few needs ,
    what ever I want I do. I’m only me your only you , I’m
    like the tree your like the dew , you feed me and I feed you ,
    were happy no matter what we do , as long as I stay me
    and you stay you. ~end~

  246. Mrs. Bloggess,

    Firstly, I want to tell you that i love your blog. You’re fucking hilarious. We have very similar senses of humor. I know you probably get this all the time, however, I insist on asking you this anyway because I’m a pain in the ass by nature. I have a quaint little blog that I’d like to get more popular. How did you break into the blogging field? Do you have a pre-made list of “blogging tips” for pains-in-the-ass like me? How do you become popular amongst a plethora of people doing the same thing you are? Please help me! Thanks!

    Chris, FL

  247. Are we in a special club? If not – we totally should be!



    (My husband):

    Some of last year’s foster kittens:

    My son, when he was practically a kitten, himself:

    Foster kittens from two years ago:


    He REALLY had a thing for a damp towel on the head! I wonder if he does that to his forever people?

  248. Bah – embedded pics didn’t work – reposting with links, instead. These are worth clicking on if you like pics of kittens on heads!

    Are we in a special club? If not – we totally should be!

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/398566717/
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/398566610/
    (My husband):
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/398565887/
    Some of last year’s foster kittens:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/4842537402/
    My son, when he was practically a kitten, himself:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/398567099/
    Foster kittens from two years ago:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/3895567282/
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/5183331603/
    He REALLY had a thing for a damp towel on the head! I wonder if he does that to his forever people?
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimberlyjennery/5183328705/

  249. honestly ive reviewed the morgan/cat picture and ive come to the conclusion that it is actually a picture of a live cat wearing morgan freeman on its ass. so i believe there is no copyright infringement here. you are still the origionator of the “live cat on the head” trend. hope this helps.

  250. This. Is. Amazing. I was in love when it was just photos of cats on heads, but the video is absolutely amazing. My cat used to sit on my head, when she was just a baby. It’s probably good that she doesn’t anymore.

  253. He’s obviously trying to get your attention. Don’t you remember when you used to chase boys around the playground hitting them with sticks, telling them to stay the hell away from you so that they would eventually come to love you? This is pretty much JUST LIKE THAT. (You did that too, right? Right, guys?)

    Give him a break and let him buy you coffee. You could both wear your cats (once he acknowledges that he’s the copycat of head cats). Have his people call your people. Or cat. Or whatever.

  254. I used to wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat thinking I was entering early menopause. No, it was just a cat, sleeping on my head. WTF, Sneakers, you could have had the whole rest of the bed but my head was the best spot?

  255. At least it’s not Tom cruise with a cat on his head.no wait,I already boycott anything he touches. Maybe Morgan didn’t know the kitty was there? I had a Maine coon cat that would only drink water running in the bathtub, trickling and sat on my head. Lord, I miss that cat and can we talk about how many dirty words I have learned from Jodi arias?

  256. Next can we discuss bichon frisée s? I rescued (stol) five over 15 years ant they all wrapped themselves around my neck like a scarf?

  258. I think I’m addicted to your blog. You are so f*ing funny…

    I used to cook random stuff at 2:00 am, and now I read your blog, while I eat random stuff.

    Morgan Freeman? Haha! Omg. That is awesome. And the video of the cat and the policeman is a great addition.

  259. I’m crying! I really needed that – THANK YOU! I’ve had a really bad day and was up my own backside with self pity! Now I’m wishing I’d tried harder when my cat was a kitten to get him to sit on my shoulder like a parrot! You changed my day and I’m really grateful!

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Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Game Night Kit: All-in-one classic card game kits make the perfect gift, but you’ll want them for yourself, too! Lets skip book club tonight, drink wine & play games instead ~time together is magic!

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Coolest American Stories 2023: If you want a book of unputdownable, unpretentious, full-length short stories, we got ya covered. Our 2022 volume went to a 3rd printing; readers are singing this volume’s praises, too.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Perfectionist Anonymous: Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression and hilarity on the side.

Active Voice Productions  made a cool little movie with a role they wanted The Bloggess for but instead got Bonnie Hunt. Seriously. That’s what happened.

Scaredy Cat Travels: Traveling the world with the worst carry-on anxiety.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

The Second: Colleen Burns Durda’s candid memoir about a suburban mom with a side hustle-she’s The Second Coming. Laugh, cry and learn how she copes with her bipolar diagnosis.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

The Family Skeptical Podcast: We’re an atheist couple raising two children – we ask big questions, dissect weird parenting moments, and are jealous that our cats get so much sleep.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: Just read it. Trust me.

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