Monday. Wish it was Sunday.

in I am totally overrated, Random Crap, weekly reruns

I usually do my weekly wrap-up on Sunday but I couldn’t because my parents were in town with truck-load of dead buffalo parts.  True story.  Then my father tried (again) to instill a love of coin collecting in me and it didn’t work except for when I saw one of his 1839 one cent pieces that I wanted and he gave it to me because I was finally appreciating something he liked but then I pointed out why I wanted it and then he went and laid down in another room for a few hours.

And now, time for my weekly wrap-up of shit-I-was-doing-when-I-wasn’t-here:

This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):

This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:

This week on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

61 thoughts on “Monday. Wish it was Sunday.”

Read comments below or add one.

  7. Just read your advice column and a recommendation for a book for Hailey… “Barfburger Baby, I Was Here First” . You can get it on Amazon, it is funny that they know exactly what you are talking about by just typing in Barfburger! My daughter (who is also 5) and I LOVE that book.

  8. My father in law kept trying to get my husband interested in coins (the most we ever do is collect tons of pennies for him, which God only knows what he does with them..) but I bet if there had been a “cunt” coin in there my husband would have snagged it too. That is freaking awesome.

  9. I had never heard of Maureen Johnson before you linked to her blog just now.

    Well, I had, but only as a character in RENT and not as a REAL person, and her blog made me want to read her books but I might keep expecting her to do weird shit like insist that I start mooing. Which, since you linked to her, could potentially actually happen and then I’d be super confused. IS SHE REAL OR NOT. Thank you.
    .-= Edana´s last blog ..Kitchen Accidents can Also be Wonderful =-.

  10. Awesome! My FIL loves to collect coins and if he showed me one of those I might have to drink less during his visits.
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Baby Mine =-.

  13. That coin is amazing. I’m also amazed that I have never seen one of those while working in the coin shop.
    Your interview was awesome. Loved it.
    Yes, eat Sarah Silverman. I don’t think anyone would *really* miss her. I know I wouldn’t. She’s extremely annoying.

  15. O Cunt!-isn’t that a line from the vagina monologues? yes-“O Cunt! My Cunt!!!” Um, something like that.

  17. OMG I love that coin! I collect them (sporadically, and they should really be better preserved, but whatever).

    Best line: ‘Plus, I can pay her in stuffed animals that she already owns because she has a really bad memory. That’s why illegal child labor is such a lucrative thing.’

    Can I have a popsicle?
    .-= Juliana @Kernut’s World´s last blog ..The Earl of Argyll Socks, and Other Relatives =-.

  20. I swear Jenny the universe gifts you. A coin that says “O Cunt”. It’s like you’re at the end of a fucking rainbow that’s so awesome.

  21. I can’t explain why, but I really need to know about the dead buffalo parts. I can’t leave things unfinished, it makes my brain go bendy, and I keep imagining you drinking tea from china cups with your parents in a fort made from dead buffalo parts.

    That’s not what happened on Sunday, right?

    Love Jo X x x

    ps – Where do buffalo wings come from, and how do you eat them, because “apparently” buffaloes don’t have wings. But I wouldn’t know, because I’m English and we don’t have buffalo here, nor do we even really know what they are.
    .-= Jo and the Novelist´s last blog ..Twitter’s Mean Girls and my 15 year crush on Charlie Brooker… =-.

  23. How the heck did he get one that says that? It seems like no amount of wear could make something go from an “e” to a “u”. So, this means someone purposely changed the coin. But why? WHY? I am unable to wrap my head around this conundrum.

    I need to go lie down now.
    .-= followingtheroad´s last blog ..A History of Men =-.

  24. Please don’t make me tell people you called your cat a naughty name. He was just expressing his inner-kitten, right? Either that, or it was the mind controlling pug up to his old tricks. It call relates to Morgan Freeman…we just know it. *Arrrgh*
    .-= Lookie Lou´s last blog ..TPPC.tv Raw Video-Blog Update 06/14/10 =-.

  25. Great. Now I just want to throw away my 1801 New Orleans picayune that was allegedly fondled by Governor William C.C. Claiborne. I simply have to face facts. I’ll never be as cool as you are.
    .-= Pauline´s last blog ..Sea Monsters: A Toothy Issue =-.

  27. I don’t collect anything other than gargoyles (but they end up broken and missing legs) and bottles of flavored rum. I would *totally* collect that coin though – and then show my friends, or show people and just see if they noticed. That’d be the best.

  28. Saturday I went over to my BFF’s house, and low-and-behold… what did she have up on her computer? Why it was the Bloggess’s article about drunk dialing… er… emailing the electric company. I’ve been after her for weeks to start reading you, and it looks like the message was finally starting to sink in. You’re welcome, America.
    .-= Busted Kate´s last blog ..I Took A Beating. Voluntarily. =-.

  30. Before they figured out you could stamp out those babies, every one all alike, the “One Cent” carving guy apparently got bored one day. “Typos” in metal = awesome.
    .-= MommyTime´s last blog ..Rest in Peace =-.

  33. I wish I knew what a douche-canoe was, because the mental image I have is ridiculous (all I can tell you is that it involves an Indian)

  35. Am I the only person who doesn’t understand the “That’s not your towel” card for Oral Sex Day? I’m not prude, I just don’t get it. It’s been days. I’m retarded. Someone please explain!

  38. If my father brought that coin into my house there would be a an all in brawl between me and The Damn Emo’s on who could score that Coin of Awesome.

    It would be epic.

    Tell your dad to bring it around on Sunday. And don’t forget the video camera.
    .-= Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo´s last blog ..How NOT to blog. =-.

  39. Dude. I love Maureen Johnson’s books and now you’re linking to her. This is like the time you linked to Hyperbole and a half: extra validation for stuff I like and the knowledge that someone I find awesome (i.e., you) agrees that other things I find awesome are awesome.

    sorry for the convoluted last sentence.
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..Adventures with Rachel: Heath’s House, Part One =-.

  44. Wouldn’t it be so much worse if your vagina tasted like monkeys? Conversely, a vagina flavored monkey doesn’t sound too bad.
    .-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..‘ello Guvna =-.

  47. I missed the first time you linked to Hyperbole and a half, but I’m glad Katie mentioned it now. That is so up my alley. I will have to quit my job soon to keep up with all the great stuff to read.

    I also want to know more about the buffalo parts….

  48. I’m convinced that our kids are trying to take over. My six-year-old boy is not only writing kick ass stories about a Frito eating his mean Frito parents (Hmmm, is Jack trying to tell us something?), but the other day he was asking me what my memoir was about. “Oh, yea, it’s about Molly going off to college.”
    I said, “Yep, and I didn’t want to let go of her.”
    Jack said, “You’ve been a good mother. I think it’s time to let her go out in to the real world.”
    Who is this 50-year-old man who is a better writer and mother than I’ll ever be?
    .-= Michelle Zive´s last blog ..Thanks for the Memories =-.

  49. Put a hat and a pair of boots on your asshole cat and (s)he could totally have a part in Shrek with those eyes.

  50. This has nothing to do with your most recent post, but oh-my-god-do-you-have-to-see-it. Yes, that is a single hyphenated word. Go to Newsweek’s homepage and hit on your keyboard: arrow up, arrow up, arrow down arrow down, arrow left, arrow right, arrow left, arrow right, b, a, ENTER. Yes, it’s like a cheat code on the old Nintendo. It brings up an easter egg that I think you would appreciate.

    I showed it to my girlfriend last night and she thought it was amusing, but then I thought, “You know who else needs to see this? Jenny.”

    You probably already know about this, or have done a blog about it, or something, but I couldn’t find one because your blog doesn’t have a search feature-wait, yes it does. I just found it.

    Apparently you didn’t do a blog about it, or at least didn’t mention Newsweek. I would delve deeper, but I am fundamentally lazy. Anyway, enjoy.

  52. I’ve been following your blog for a while and LOVE it – so when I saw this new video about Brazil’s new dance craze I just had to share it with you. I wanted to tweet it to you but then I didn’t want my friends thinking I was learning this style of dance so then I wanted to DM it to you but then I thought you would think it was a virus so I’m settling for this comment and hope you’ll see it. Maybe it will even make next week’s “This week on the internets:” or “This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:” or maybe even onto sexis (they say that this dance leads to orgies…just sayin)

    Anyways have a great day and keep up the amazing work.

    http://gawker.com/5556758/hot-new-dance-craze-slamming-your-butt-into-someones-face
    .-= Katie Van Domelen´s last blog ..Happiness. =-.

  53. I don’t understand why you didn’t give more details about the buffalo parts, seriously. But that coin is pretty much awesome.

    Oh, and the books? I love Roald Dahl. You should consider it. Also, Mr. Popper’s Penguins. It changed my life.

    And that picture of your cat is out-of-control sweet. My cat makes that face before he attacks MY face. My cat’s an asshole.
    .-= Kendahl´s last blog ..Probably The Hardest Holiday To Shop For =-.

  54. o cunt? omg. i’d want that too. just because it’s one of my favorite descriptive words. although, i would never have imagined it to be on the back of a coin…especially from the 1800’s. weren’t they all uptight and stuff because of looking for gold and laying claims on land? i dunno. anyway…very cool.
    btw…buffalo burgers make me dry heave. 🙂
    .-= melissa´s last blog ..If You Want Deep, Don’t Read This Post…Rated Pre-K =-.

  56. Where the hell is my one cent coin!?!?! Now there is no denying that they like you better.

  57. June is Gay Pride Month…that Oral Sex Month shit was made up by some homophobe,

  58. Does your dad have any left over buffalo parts? I am trying to whip up a mean buffalo & anteater bowel stew, but have flat ran out of buffalo parts. Thanks.

  59. You probably know this, but messed up coins are REALLY worth a lot of money – and I bet one that spells out O CUNT would be about a few thousand times more, so what you are really holding there is a million dollars with a dirty mouth, which is probably the best treasure anyone has ever owned, ever.

  60. Stacy @35, no I don’t understand it either. This is way after the fact, but if anyone happens to notice this, please explain it!

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