Happy Social Media Day!

Tomorrow is Social Media Day and to celebrate I’m going to wear a pin with Guy Kawasaki‘s face on it all day long.  You may be asking yourself why I have a pin with Guy Kawasaki’s face on it and actually he gave it to me years ago when I went to his house.  True story.  That’s how you know you’ve made it.  When you can give people who show up at your house a picture of your own face on a pin and they thank you for it.  If I gave out pins with my face on them to people who came to my house I’d get strange looks.  Mostly because the only people who ever come to my house are my lawn guys.  And also because I don’t really have the kind of face that lends itself to pins.   I’m pretty sure this is exactly why no one in social media ever takes me seriously.

It's like his face was MADE for pins, y'all.

PS.  Also in honor of Social Media Day I will continue to fall yet another day behind on posting the comment(s)-of-the-day but I do promise to feel really, really bad about it all day.

PPS.  I’ve been drinking.

PPPS.  I just looked up “Social Media Day” to prove that it exists and it kind of looks like Mashable just made that shit up.  Which is fine, but if they’re calling tomorrow Social Media Day then I’m calling Thursday “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-ARE A TREMENDOUS-ASSHOLE Day“.  It’s going to be awesome.

193 thoughts on “Happy Social Media Day!

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I think you are much prettier than Guy Kawasaki (with all due respect). Also, I suggest “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-LOOK-LIKE-A-SERIAL-KILLER Day“

  2. I would totally wear a pin with your face on it. But I haven’t ever been invited to your house to be given the opportunity to get a pin with your face on it. And to think i was going to get a taxidermied cat in your honor for my garden pfft.

  3. If I went to your house and you gave me a pin with your face on it I would be honored and would wear it every day. But first you’ll have to tell me exactly how to get to your house and when you’ll be there so I can make sure to get there and see you for you to give me the pin. I wouldn’t give you a strange look at all.

  4. Your face would be perfect on a pin. Seriously. You’re just not getting the full impact because you can’t see the little safety pin on the back of your head. Of course not – your eyes are in the front of your head.

    I need more beer. Or less. Probably more, though. With meth. Would Guy Kawasaki do meth? I’m not sure. Maybe I should go to his house and ask him. And get a free pin, too! Good deal!

  5. Happy Social Media day everyone. We, in Pakistan, are also arranging SM day today. I hope it goes well. Yes Mashable took the initiative to call 30th June the global SM day.

  6. I would BUY a pin with your face on it! Just make sure it has that picture of the rollers. You know what? I’m not even gonna charge you for that idea. DO IT! Two bux per pin and that shit would make you RICH!

  7. You look really pretty today. Or whenever that pic was taken.

    I’m going to celebrate Social Media Day by plotting world domination with a friend. We will probably mostly use social media to achieve it, but may also need a Cristina Aguilera cd and some VERY LARGE SPEAKERS.

  8. I suck, and not in the way my dh wishes I did. I suck because I had no freaking clue who Guy Kawasaki is.I feel so un blog worthy. Really there should be classes on this shit.

  9. I’m the friend FYM is referring to — and we are going to need REALLY big speakers. Because social media is not moving at my usual rule-the-world pace. And it’ll probably be even slower on Social Media Day because EVERYONE will be using it. To party and whatnot.

    PS. Love your lipstick. But I would look like a crazed 80s chick wearing it. Instead of just crazed. You look good in it. Just to clarify.

  10. I would totally rock a pin with your face on it. And then my boyfriend would continue to ask me why “that bloggess chick” is so great. And then I’d probably punch him again.

  11. I was going to say I would totally wear a pin with your face on it, but then I noticed how many commenters used the word totally, and I got disturbed, as I worried that we had fallen into some sort of cult without even knowing it, a cult of people who totally overuse the word totally. So I’ll say this instead;

    I would absolutly wear a pin with your face on it. Totally.

  12. Great! Way to ruin what should have been a productive day Mashable! Now I will be forced to stay glued to my Social Media outlets and perform Social Media type stuff all day in honor of Mashable’s made up holiday. I will make some Social Media day cards and send to my pretend internet friends and then send out tweets to lots of people I *don’t* know, then I will blog about the *un* experience, tweet some more, FB if I must, but that feels very last week, really, then maybe tweet about how last week FBing feels, then blog about tweeting about Social Media day…….no groceries for my house tomorrow….clean clothes, nah, buy new ones. It’s Social Media Day bitches, Mashable said so!

  13. But Thursday is Canada Day… I know that doesn’t really mean a thing down there in Texas, but since I hereby make you an honorary Canadian you should really pick another day for your “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-ARE A TREMENDOUS-ASSHOLE Day“ If you made it, say, July 2nd you could make it universal. Otherwise you may confuse a bunch of Canadians. They would all be like “I am proud to be Canadian (pass me another beer), but what the Czar of Nothingness says goes… I’m just so torn…” I’m doing you a favor here, no one wants confused Canadians.

  14. Oh yeah, and I would like a pin with your face on it please. Or one of your cat. Or one of you wearing your cat. Any of these are acceptable.

  15. A hundred years ago we didn’t have social media. People stood on soap boxes and yelled at the townsfolk about the trouble to come or salvation or how they need a new Marshall in town cause the one they had left with the schoolmarm and stuff like that. Instead of like buttons or comment boxes people cheered or threw rotten fruit. So tomorrow let’s all scream at each other and throw produce. Let’s make SMD as big as Saint Patrick’s Day only with fruit and screaming. …..okay so it’s just like Saint Patrick’s Day, but without the drinking……….what am I saying?????? THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE DRINKING!

  16. i want the pin that says you think I’m great cause I haven’t been eaten by bears… or zombies. just sayin’.

  17. I can’t wait until Thursday…

    I would def. wear a pin with your face on it. It’d be the best pin I own. Even better than the Obama ones. Yeah. I said it. The Bloggess is that awesome.

  18. You should put a button with your face on it up on eBay…see if all of these commenters are honest…


  19. I take your tweets SO seriously…

    If you pour 3 kinds of schnapps into one cup it’s trash can punch but if you pour them over shaved ice it’s a rainbow snow cone.

    …And if you pour it down your throat you get vomit on your high school boyfriend’s penis.

  20. All these days to keep track of! My calendar is filling up fast. I still have to decorate the house, send out happy-social-media-day-cards, buy a social-media-day-ham to serve our guests… I’m nowhere near ready. By the way, Jenny, you may not think your face works well on pins, but I think it would look nice there–or maybe on posters hanging up at the post office. (You know, one frontal and one profile, plus a description and “Last seen with…”) The nice thing about these posters is The Man pays for them. You have to make pins yourself, and who has time for that, what with all the holiday preparations?

  21. I have no idea who this Kawasaki guy is ( I thought he was a motorbike). I know who the Bloggess is though so you are world famous! Pins, T-shirts, mugs…
    … bring them on!

  22. I would totally wear a pin with your picture on it….and I haven’t worn pins since my denim jacket was covered in them way back in the day. I’ll take the pins, then hit up the thrift store to find a good (?) old acid washed jean jacket, and will cover it up with pins with your face on them.

    Oh, I have to Google Guy Kawasaki each time he is mentioned and I still have no idea who he is.

  23. Oh yes there’s my problem I can’t get people to show up at my house, even when I offer alcohol. I should try that my face on a pin thing.

  24. Yo, it’s not that hard to turn a happy panda into a button. It’s like buttons were made for happy pandas. I would make pretty much anything for that happy panda, though. Love me some GK.

  25. BUT!!!! I WANT A PIN WITH YOUR FACE ON IT! I want it so bad that I could just cry! I would wear it everywhere and cherish it and my sister in law would look at me all the time like I’m even more fucking crazy that she thinks I am and it would be awesome. Please? Please make a pin we can buy?????
    I love you so, in the nicest possible way. I want to hide in bathrooms and drink wine with you and I would hide under the sink and snarl ferally at anyone who made you afraid. We would have such fun!
    Pins? Pretty please??????

  26. So a few months ago I had a series of back to back dreams about Guy Kawasaki and in one of the dreams I was in a pizza place and they had way too many toppings to choose from and I was having a borderline panic attack about which pizza to order even though I only ever order cheese pizza in real non-dream life and in the midst of my wild indecision Guy Kawasaki tapped me on the shoulder and was all, “I guess Nicole *doesn’t* know which one is better.” And then I woke up.

    The moral of the story, or the dream, is that Guy Kawasaki recognized me in a pizza place. At least this was my narcissistic take away from it all.

    Also, I’d let someone facepaint your face on my face and facepaint beats pin. Like if the game were rock paper facepaint-pin, you know?

  27. OK, so if you put your face on a pin and write the name of your ‘holiday’ on it, I’d totally drive all the way to Pearland to pick it up, and then you could say you gave it to someone who came to your home. And Pearland is like 70 miles away, but I’ll vouch for 100 miles so you sound more awesome.

  28. I’m totally in favour of Lena.FM’s suggestion. Let’s have a “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-LOOK-LIKE-A-SERIAL-KILLER” Day! I’m going to start encouraging new people to send me friend requests so I can take part. Also, we definitely must have a The Bloggess badge. It could have a button you press and then it says “I’m awsome, y’all”.

  29. Guy Kawasaki is coming to my work soon to give a talk. I knew a little about him from your blog, so I decided I should read up on his blog before I attend the event. He asked for inspiring stories, so I sent him a little one and said I was totally jealous he’d met you.

    Guy wrote back! How cool is that?! He also said if I wanted to meet you, just say so. OMFG!!! Guy would not lie about this, right? I mean, you’ve got his face on a button and all – that’s pretty serious. You guys are tight, right?

    So OF COURSE I wrote back and told him I would love to meet you. I also asked if it was true you’d brought sex toys for the crew on the USS Nimitz. (Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him that.)

    He did not write back. (I’m sure he’s just busy setting up the meeting.)

    It probably didn’t help that I was on valium when I wrote the second email. I’m just hoping he doesn’t cancel his speaking engagement at my work.

    He did tell you I wanted to meet you, right?

    No, I’m not on valium right now.

  30. That’s what social media needs. It’s own day. We should try having a social media-free day. Somebody get that shit started on the Twitter.

  31. You might call it “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-ARE A TREMENDOUS-ASSHOLE Day” but Thursday is actually “Canada Day” and I am about to tell all of your Canadian friends your new name for their holiday. #socialmediaday #backstabbing

  32. I would wear a pin of a photo of you holding a pin of Guy Kawasaki! Or just one of you. Whichever.

  33. I made my own pin with your face on it.

    Actually, it’s more like a button.

    Buttons. Plural. Like..four buttons with your face on them.

    On my jeans. I wear button fly jeans. Because it’s 1986, apparently.

    But you should see the look on your faces down there. Precious.

  34. I would totally wear a pin with your face on it. I’d also drink from a Jenny, the bloggess, coffee mug. We could share conversations about my day over coffee. “Jenny, it’s been a shit day–but the coffee *does* make me feel better. Thanks.”

  35. You claim that you don’t have a face for badges shortly after you’ve posted a photo of yourself in which you look amazingly adorable. Either you A) were attempting some form of irony. II) have some unfortunate self-esteem issues. 3) are of the opinion that “amazingly adorable” is not badge appropriate. iv) actually meant to write that your face is not “badger-appropriate,” in which case I agree with you. My boss’ face is badger-appropriate in so far as I want to see it mauled by a badger.

    Whoops, I just checked and you said “pins” and I was the one who got sidetracked by the idea of badges and badgers. In any case, the answer is quite clear – like the witch in Snow White, your mirror is magic and hell-bent on dragging your self-image down. I mean, I assume you ask your mirror “Who’s the fairest?” and the mirror is all, “Pfft, not you.” And then you’re all, “Well, fuck you too, then” and the mirror responds, “No, no one is going to fuck you; you’re all pasty and flabby. What are you? English?” Of course, you then go to take a swing at the mirror, but realize that it’s bad luck if you break it and the mirror gets away scot-free. This is how I spend my Friday nights. Point is, you’re hot, but don’t drink and talk to mirrors – they’re worse than talking to strangers.

  36. I think your face is totally pinnable. In fact if you use the photo in your header, it would fit the pin properly unlike Guy’s head which seems offcenter and awkwardly to the right. Must be because he is in social media.

  37. You have a face for pins….and wanted posters.

    I suggest, if you are handing out items with your photo on it, then milk cartons are the way to go. Just in case you get lost on a bender.

  38. I’m very much in like with this quote “I’m calling Thursday “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-ARE A TREMENDOUS-ASSHOLE Day“.” and I will be stealing it for Thursday. I would use it on my sister but she would only respond…I love you too asshole 🙂

  39. you might not have a face for pins, but you definitely have a face for belt buckles. or fingernail decals.

  40. ahhhh, I remember that day. You took me along and then drank wine outta my head…

    And I felt a little pissed cause apparently you we hanging out with the cool kids in the bathroom and left me behind in the recycling…

  41. I’m not interested in the Social Media Day thing, but whatever.

    I am, however, very interested in Thursday’s events…do we get to make phone calls or send emails and TELL people we’re ignoring them, or do we just quietly delete the request? What about the girl who clearly deleted me and then sent me another request? Oh, this is getting too complex. I should probably just delete my FB account (thus the reason I’m skipping Social Media Day).

    Oddly enough, we’re actually having Media Day here at work (I work in a crime lab), where we’ve invited the local news media in to see what we do. I don’t think anyone’s actually going to attend.

  42. you should blog about having sex with someone wearing a pin with your face on it and how that would make you feel.

  43. i once went to a party at this girl’s house where she gave out pins with her face pasted over the image of rosie the riveter…she was runing for some sort of peer based government. anyway i promptly lost the pin. then i got older and wiser and went to a friend’s house where she gave out snow cones with schnapps in them. i’ll have the memory of those snow cones forever. well….most of the memories. they were really strong snow cones.

  44. Screw the pin, put your face on M&M’s. Cause THAT’S just a major score on the self-promotion front. (This has always been a mystery to me – I understand messages on M&M’s, but faces?? Really?)

    And I like your holiday better.

  45. You know what you should have?!?! A pin that says, “I’m awesome! What should I do?” Oh Lawd, just thinking about it makes me laugh. PLEASE DO IT!

  46. A fried of mine has a button maker and I shall now commence making buttons with very flattering pictures of my face-ie no more than 3 chins showing. And if I have a button-I MUST be famous. If you build it, they will come and all that…maybe?

  47. I like Annah’s idea of the “Im awesome! What should I do?” Except I think we should put it on a tshirt with your picture emblazoned across the front and then on the back, say something to the effect of asking a dead whore what you should do. We could all proudly wear our tshirts and it would be like a secret society. While everyone else would look at us strangely and avoid us, especially when walking through the mall, other Bloggess groupies would run up to us and give us a warm embrace and we would laugh and laugh until shiny tears rolled down our faces and we would know that we truly are the awesome ones while the rest of the world languishes in mediocrity.

  48. You definitely need a badge! How about a foursquare badge with your photo on it?? You could unlock the badge by drinking at 3 of the bars the Bloggess has gotten tore up in!

  49. Happy Social Media Day! I hope we could get today off, this will allow all workers to waste their time on the Internet openly and with no guilt.

  50. screw it all. I don’t have anyones pins, no one visits and I have been attacked by ants. I am cranked out on benadryl.. so I am not on any celebratory day bandwagons this week. fuck them all, and let them eat ants.

  51. I want a pin with you and your beloved James Garfield. I would definitely pay for that sh*t!

  52. I don’t USUALLY suck up to people I don’t know but, I have to say, that is the cutest picture I’ve seen of you to date. No kidding.
    Having said that, I’ve just discovered that I have been stalking your neighbor instead of you.
    Very. Embarrassing.
    Do you know how awkward it is to explain cinder blocks outside of a window? The WRONG window.

  53. OK I disagree with your assertion that your face is not pinworthy. All of you is pinworthy. Which means, if the face is out of the question there is always boobs. Wait. I didn’t say that.

  54. I wouldn’t wear a pin but if someone sent me a Facebook flair with your face on it, I’d totally accept it and post it on my wall.

  55. How about a pin with a picture of you holding James Garfield? Or a picture of you and that cat?


  56. I’ve got a button maker that makes huge ass buttons. If you want you can make 4 or so with Guy’s face on it and I bet we could make it into a Guy Kawasaki bikini for you. (You probably wouldn’t want to do a whole lot of sitting in it however.

  57. i’d wear a pin with your face on it. only, it’d have to be your actual face. no photographs. you’d be right by my heart, giving me advice and helping get me out of tricky situations. in real time.

  58. I would like a Kristoffer Kristofferson pin (the puppet), I feel it will be just as magical as my pet unicorn, never can have enough magic.

  59. PPS – I’ve been drinking too – if it’s a good day.

    PPPS – Was that directed at me? It was, wasn’t it?

    Hmm… was that narcisistic? Narcisistic paranoia? Narcisistic self hate? It’s like government intelligence!

  60. Hells yes! I will participate tomorrow but I’ really looking forward to “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-ARE A TREMENDOUS-ASSHOLE Day“.

    If you do decide to put your face on a button could you make me a big enough button to use as a shield/weapon . I think it would be amusing to assault someone with your face

  61. I’m going to make a pin with both of our faces on it and start handing them out to people on the street. Maybe it’s to prove I have friends, maybe it’s to prove I’m awesome, maybe to prove I have too much damn time on my hands…

  62. So I’ve been extremely annoyed by a bunch of facebook minifeeds by this guy who’s totally lame every time I logged into my facebook through my phone. When I went to unfriend him bc he’s extremely annoying, I realized that I had friend requested HIM and he never accepted! WTF?!?!?! So can Thursday also be “You’re a total jerk because ignored my friend request even though I think you’re lame and don’t actually ant to be your facebook friend?”

  63. Personally I don’t get why people like pins so much (no offense Guy motorbike dude). Firstly they are frickin’ dangerous. Just ask airport security – apparently you can hijack a plane with a pin, I shit you not. Secondly, they are small and fiddly and require coordination. Especially after a few drinks. And thirdly they are almost always, without exception, ugly. Anyway, I think if you really like something, you should put it on a poster. When you stop liking it, you attach the poster to a dartboard. Sorted. I use this simple rotation system to great effect. Just ask my bank manager.

  64. I plan to be able to give out commemorative plates of me in 1 of 2 situations: Me as Ronald Regan saying “tear down this wall” and or as Fonzie jumping the shark.

  65. Can it be “I’m ignoring your friend request because you were a total bitch in high school” day? Uh, not that I’m not over things that happened 20 years ago.

  66. I know who Guy Kawasaki is and I follow him, but he is always so serious. You, on the other hand, make me laugh. Not that I don’t think that you are serious or anything because wolf puppets and ghosts and zombies are pretty serious subjects we should all be aware of.

  67. Can Friday be “I am deleting you as my friend because you are annoying me with your stupid posts” day? I would feel bad just doing this by myself but if it were a holiday then I would have an excuse.

    BTW, I would walk proudly down 5th Ave with a pin of you with your blow dryer and rollers. Your face is totally pin-worthy.

  68. Yay! Merch store merch!

    I’m going to wear your face pin on my boob. It would be good advertising if I were 22, but I’ve nursed twins, so it’s kind of sharing space on a billboard with the health department.

    Still, I’d buy the pin.

  69. Last time we saw you talking to Guy Kawasaki, you were telling him, “Your sh*t’s not tight”. But, you were drinking then too. At least you shared with everyone in the audience before the Zombie Apocalypse stuck, and that’s what makes you great.

  70. A wee little pin cannot contain and fully acknowledge the awesomeness of The Bloggess.

    Stickers are where it’s at. I framed the one you gave me.

  71. It may be easier just to let us know when you have NOT been drinking. 🙂

  72. My brain keeps automatically interpreting the word “pins” as the word “penis.” The resulting visuals are confusing at best.

    I’m sorry.

  73. Jenny, Jenny, Jenny.

    I’d wear your zombie-stricken/aged face on a pin any day. That’s not to say that your all the time face isn’t worthy of a pin adornment, but I’m also not trying to say that you look like a zombie/old bitch. I mean I don’t want to offend you what with your liquor-loving prepped for zombia apocalyptical self. Oh shit, now you think I’m calling you an alcoholic. I promise I won’t start sending you pamphlets or men in white shirts on bicycles to your front door. Or even to suggest that I know where your front door is for that matter. I foresee loss of sleep and unfocused groveling in my near future. No doubt drowning my guilt in a bottle of Jack Daniels.

    I’d wear a pin of your face. That’s all I was trying to say before my fingers got all cocky and fucked the whole thing up. Douche canoes.

  74. Holidays are existential experiments anyway. They exist because people celebrate them but people wouldn’t celebrate them unless they exist.

  75. @DarkTouch Re: “Holidays are existential experiments anyway. They exist because people celebrate them but people wouldn’t celebrate them unless they exist.”

    Uh, actually I think holidays exist because we’d all be more neurotic than we already are if we didn’t have them AND celebrate them #smilesandhugs

  76. I think Hallmark made up the Social Media Day, just like they did Valentine’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, etc., etc. It’s part of their plot to take over the world. What’s next Happy-Middle-Aged-Hot-Flash-Depression-Every-One-Is-Prettier-and-Younger-Than-You Day?

  77. By the way – That pic of you would make a great button. We’d buy a button with your face one it, your cat’s face, your dog’s face.

    Better yet, how about a button of that picture above with you holding the button of Guy Kawasaki’s face? That would be awesome!

  78. Oh my … YOU GOT PINNED! I think this means you and Guy K. are pin brothers and sisters. It’s like power twins, ‘cept different.

    Enjoy your day!

  79. Holy shit, your nails are awesome! I was going to compliment a particular nail, but your hand is all ganked up, so I can’t tell what finger it is. Nevertheless, congrats on your strong-ass (ring? obscenity? pointy?) fingernail. You rock like no other. Btw, I’ve had like 50 beers and the WORST WEEK EVER (fucking ASK, if you don’t believe me) and I finally got the balls (ovaries?! WTF, I don’t know anymore) and I love you. Done. Smooches, awesome.

  80. Well, I totally missed the whole Social Media Day… I’ll be sure to catch it the next time round… yeah, right.
    I WILL be looking for Social Recluse Day – which could also be called MJ Day. That one should be a lot of fun too

  81. I’ve been so busy lately, that commenting has been impossible lately. So I’ve decided to come up with one perfect comment for all blogs that I read every day. So here goes… it might not be on topic, but that’s pretty much par for the course for my happy ass.

    Spider sodomy is illegal in Texas. I’m not saying that’s why I moved away but I live in Jersey now and let’s just say there are less spiders that walk funny in the Lone Star state now.

  82. Yesterday was bad. It ended with a mouse crawling into my a/c unit and getting shredded to death when it kicked on at 9:30pm. And that was the highlight. Thump, thump, thump, thump…Is that hail hitting the a/c? Um, no, not even raining. Better go check out the a/c unit. You know that scene with the wood chipper in Fargo? Yeah, the inside of the unit looks like that, but with more fur and on a smaller, yet more realistic scale. And it stunk more since I don’t have smell-o-vision.

    So I woke up wondering what today would hold.
    Finally a post from furiousball.
    I can go about the rest of my day now. 🙂

  83. Ohhhh that was so evil, you did that on purpose! Now we all want a pin with your face on it. I think I might cry if I don’t get one. I’d even buy it if I had any money whatsoever. I might have some Canadian dollars somewhere. Would you sell me a pin for 2.75 Canadian Dollars? You can have my hamster too but you would have to pick it up because it probably won’t survive shipping. Unless a pin. I’d even wear a t-shirt with your face on it. Anything, really? Please?

    There, you have us begging. Just make sure no one kills themselves over this whole pin buisness.

  84. Another day I had no idea existed. And for me – it seems like every day is social media day. Maybe I will go all crazy and ignore social media for the day. Maybe take a bubble bath instead. Or make buttons with my face on it that I know my kids would wear. I can’t think of anyone else who would want one!

  85. What’s up with all of the Canada Day comments? July 1st is Sir Seretse Khama Day – the first president of Botswana! Also, it’s some holiday in Ghana, too, and they are going to win the world cup, and win me lots of money so I can buy loads of Bloggess swag. Not just a pin, but oven mitts, and a zombie fighting stick, and a commemorative shot glass.

  86. Who’s in charge of the celebratory cake? Hopefully someone talented enough to airbrush Guy Kawasaki’s face on it. Only someone who isn’t too lazy to look up how to spell his last name. That leaves me out.

  87. Oh, we’ve totally got a market for a new pin line here. Sell them! Oooh! And put a star sticker on the back of one and that person will win a sucker! Then again, I have a feeling that a lot of us may have star stickers at their homes and MIGHT fake the whole “I got the star sticker pin, where’s my sucker?” idea.

    So never mind. Just put your face on a pin and I swear I’ll wear it in a somewhat decent location.

  88. Does theBloggess-Jenny have a facebook account? Because I would gladly dump all my other FB-friends to have you on my list. Lets all build a Jenny-shrine… or is that like creepy stalker behaviour?

  89. Yeah, I’d wear a pin with your face on it too. But not in public. Or at work. Just at home. My kids think I’m weird anyway.

  90. “PPS. I’ve been drinking.”

    Well you should know that I like to read your blog when I’m drinking. Just thought it was only fair to disclose that information since we’re being honest.

  91. Im not going to try to post a link again. Just want to know if you got that microwave thing worked out?

  92. Happy Social Media Day to you. You are the constant in my stressful week. It is nice to know exactly where to go to laugh when you so desperately need it. We love you, Jenny. Also, thank you for introducing us to Tara. She is also hilarious. I found you about a year ago and you have provided me much needed laughter on many an occassion. So thanks. Keep it up. Also, Nancy W. Kappes and Furoius Ball deserve some props here.

  93. Dude. I’ve had wine again. And where do you think I thought I should visit? I’ll give you one guess: Well, I can’t give you one guess, I guess (heehee) because you’re inanimate kind of, aren’t you? I mean, you’re just a blog face with curlers on and I can’t expect a GUESS from a blog face (with or without curlers. I don’t think that that would matter too much in the long run.). Nonetheless, (is that fitting in that space in this sentence? Hmmm) I feel the need to comment on your blog after imbibing in cheap wine. I apologize but I know that you, of all people, probably won’t mind too much. I have made the mistake of doing a drunken ramble on other “mommy blogs” that didn’t go over too well. My bad. (smacks hand)

    I have to go read BuenoBaby now because she reads your blog after alcohol, too. It’s like we’re related! Only without the blood or legalities or ability to annoy each other at Christmas and Thanksgiving! BRING IT ON BUENO BABY! Don’t disapppoint me!!

  94. I agree with the others about putting your face on a mug? A mug mugshot, if you will. There’s a pleasing redundancy to that, don’t you think?

  95. So, I think I missed social media day. Fuck it.

    Really though, was just clicking back through your tweets, trying to work out how you deal with the crackpots and the trolls, because my blog seems to have been infected with them (6 months this comment thread has been drawing idiots for, SIX MONTHS -http://bit.ly/dCwA6R-) and I’m going a little insane. (Sorry, link is to my other blog, Sleepless Nights, is not spam, I promise)

    Okay, so I’m going more insane. As shown by commenting madly off topic here. Sorry. Hope you’re enjoying your new house and that the move hasn’t left anyone bleeding. Moving makes me stabby.

  96. Um me again…but I just found this review of Eclipse:

    “I sorta wish he’d gone a bit further mind, and written into the script that dithery Bella couldn’t decide
    between the vampire or the werewolf and so decided to fuck a zombie instead.”

    Did you secretly write it?

  97. But every day is “I’m-ignoring-your-friend-request-because-YOU-ARE A TREMENDOUS-ASSHOLE Day“.

    Wanted to let you know that one of your tranny Lego army has come to live with me and be my tranny Lego slave. He hasn’t proven very industrious yet, but we’re still in the “getting to know you” stage.

  98. Drew Beatty you made me decide to count how many times the word “totally” was used in the comments today and it’s 26. 26 totallys! Ah, hah, hah, hah! <= That's my impression of the Count from Sesame Street. As if I don't have better things to do. It's all your fault Drew Beatty!

  99. Should I have worn panties with these pants? The seam seems to be quite irritating and my cha cha has had about enough of its lip.

  100. Have you learned NOTHING from your Christmastime foray into the world of marketing?

    JAMES GARFIELD PINS. I’d buy the shit out of that.

  101. I think you should totally make a pin with your face on it. Except make it one of those straight pins, like they use to mark my hemline when I need my pants altered, and make your face really, really tiny on the end of it, and then I can walk around with it and people will go “Hey – why do you have that perfectly average straight pin?” and I will go “Ha ha! Gotcha – It’s special! …And your vision isn’t better than 20/21!” …Snap.

  102. Jen———would you happen to have any pins with dead zombie whores . . . ?

    I mean, what’s more Social Media than that ?!?

  103. I am SO making pins with my face on them and handing them out to people that visit. I can’t wait to see how people react.

  104. Dear Jenny The Bloggess –

    I just wanted to say that if I ever showed up at your house, which I wouldn’t because a) I am not a crazy stalker and more importantly b) I don’t know where you live, and you gave me a pin with your face on it I would consider it an honour and wear it with pride. To my wedding. And my kid’s graduation. And all the other appropriate places.

  105. c’mon, Jenny … you have the perfect face for a pin. I’d proudly add you to Tom Waits, The Clash, John Lennon and Johnny Cash on my backpack.

    I’m waiting… :^)

  106. What a lovely blog!

    If you get the time, I’d be very happy if you checked out my blog – I think you will really like it :))
    I hope you have a wonderful day and I can’t wait to hear from you! :))

  107. So I came across this project that I thought you might be interested in. It’s called the Influence Project and basically they are looking for the most influential person….and well you ARE The Bloggess! And because our world isn’t messed up enough, you could win and become the most influential person on the internet! That’s kinda up there with Czar of Nothingness right? 🙂

  108. In no particular order

    #1- It’s OK because you kind of made up national oral sex week, or month. Either way. It’s not official, I was bummed. I pretended it was.
    #2- I’d totally wear a pin with your face on it just so I could give your blog address out to the church ladies at the homeschool group, they already think I’m the devil.
    #3- The lawn guys. That’s sexy. I wonder if I could call for lawn service consultations and screen the workers by the way they look, like a pageant of sweat and muscles.
    #4- Next month is national flirt with your lawn guys month. No shit.

  109. The truth is, Jenny, your face on a pin would be so powerful a tool that pretty soon you’d be president. The government does not want this, so they are coming into your house at night and ruining your self-esteem while you sleep. Yeah, it’s possible I’ve been drinking.

  110. If you were even half as funny as you think you are you’d be a million times funnier than you actually are.

  111. If a train left Jenny’s Funnytown going 50 mph, and it was eleventy miles away from Kirk’s face, how long would it take for the train to get grossed out and start backing away, as from a rabid Pekingese?

  112. If you were even half as funny as you think you are you’d be a million times funnier than Kirk St Moritz.

    BTW he is saying you are only 1/500,000 as funny as you think you are. He fucked up. Twice as funny as you think would be 0.25 times as funny than than he implied. So basically you are 4 times funnier than he thinks you are.

    Good for you!

  113. bloggess…i must apologize, i was out of the country on an AWESOME vacation and was unable to read this post until today. dude I would PAY for a pin with your awesomely gorgeous face on it. by the way i am female and not gay. oh my GOD your nails are sooo long i wish mine would grow that long. Have a nice day 🙂

  114. no, no, no. he has just made a small mathematical error. see, kirk, this post is tagged with “no one thinks this is funny but me.” therefore you left out the fact that this makes her funnier than she thinks she is because she thinks she is not funny.

    simple mistake.. could’ve happened to anyone, really.

  115. Also, if you were a million times funnier than you actually are, it would be so much funny that your funny-ness would acquire mass. And that mass would weigh enough to tilt the Earth’s axis to 90 degrees, with the resulting environmental effects forever changing (ending?) life as we know it. Not even undead reanimated corpsified zombies would want to live on this “New Earth”. Not. Even. Zombies.

    So, in conclusion, on behalf of the People of Earth, thank you for selflessly maintaining just the perfect amount of funniness to keep us alive.

    p.s. Science says “Suck on that, Math.”

  116. People, please. Commenter 152, is obviously afflicted with the very serious condition, ‘Pompous Arsus Trollus’, and we all know it’s not kind to make fun of those with a serious mental illness or defect.

  117. If x is actually funny and y is self perceived funny then:

    y = 2(1,000,000x) = 2,000,000x

    In other words, you think you are two million times funnier than you actually are. I think he mixed up his variables, because his math is very off. I don’t think your brain is capable of realizing how funny you are, and you have a pretty great brain.

  118. I would live on this new earth. As long as Jenny was there to keep me laughing to distract from the fact that the sun was melting my face off.

  119. You’d think someone with “Saint” in their name would be a lot more jolly. I used to a know a guy whose first name was Saint. No lie.

  120. Obviously, Kirk is pissed because Google sent him on a wrong turn in his quest for “dead whores”. Damn you Google! You’ve done it again.

  121. Willsington,

    I woke up this morning realizing my math error which you show correctly – I think. I haven’t had coffee yet. But his statement is silly!

    “If you were even half as funny as you think you are you’d be a million times funnier than you actually are.”

    Let F be perceived level of funniest. So “half as funny as you think you are” = F/2
    and “a million times funnier than you actually are” = 10^6 x F/2 or actual level of funniest is 5×10^5 x F

    It is a conditional If-Then with the condition that Jenny be 0.5xF
    “funnier than you actually are” = 10^6 x F/2

    So if the first condition is false, say Jenny is actually 0.9xF then the second part is not invoked. Therefore she could be 90% as funny as she thinks she is, or in another case, she may have a low opinion of her humor and actually be 250% funnier than she thinks she is or true level of funniest is 2.5 x F. Since the condition is not fulfilled unless she is actually F/2, which is hard to quantify to begin with, is susceptible to measuring errors and no error range or level of confidences was specified, the whole point becomes nearly mute.

  122. I can’t even tell you how happy all of these math/science comments make me…suck it, Kirk!

  123. Who knew that math could be so fascinating? And who knew that Kirk could be such a moron, he’d get his math so very, very wrong? Good on ya, math people! I hope Kirk is paying attention.

  124. Wilsington got his math right. Mousebert failed twice. (Stop trying.)

    But Kirk’s fundamental premise is flawed. Jenny rules!

  125. Kirk St. Moritz is clearly William Shatner on vacation, trying to extract retribution for the whole twitter debacle. You’re not fooling anyone, Kirk. Nice try.

  126. What the fuck, Kirk? HEY!! Kirk, William Shatner. Shatner played Captain Kirk, did he not? Nice ploy, bucko.

    What the hell did it mean anyway? I’m in the middle of very difficult chemistry equations and quadrilateral functions (I don’t know if they really exist), so I wouldn’t understand it even if it did make sense. Or would I.

    Kirk sucks, Jenny wins. And I’m going to bed with a headache and hemorrhoids.

  127. I think I am the newest follower of this blog and Mrs. Bloggess…She is funny as hell…..had good knwodleg of (my) favorite topic (sex). But untill this post, i thought only she is funny. Now after reading the comments here, I am amused to see even her followers are funny like hell.

    I also think, Mrs. Bloggess herself made a new username (kirk) and wrote the mathematically confusing comment, to see the reaction of the people. As her following comment (But I’m not even wearing a shirt) drifted my mind from Kirk’s comment, and I scrolled up to her pic and started imagining her wearing no shirt……

    PS: I was trying to be funny

    PPS: I have not been drinking

    PPPS: Please dont ignore that friend request as its “I-sent-you-request-as-I-liked-your-profile-picture-and-interesting-facts-in-your-profile-day-Day“

  128. Wait, wait, I got this.

    No… wait…

    If you were half as funny as you think you are, you’d be a million times funnier than you actually are?

    Shouldn’t it be “than you are now”? Because it’s “if you were”. You can’t be funnier than you are, because you ARE that funny.

    Nevermind. I’m not doing math.

  129. 1/2(funny)*(perception) = 1000000*(funny)/(reality).
    1/2(funny)*(x) = 1000000*(funny)/(y)

    This is impossible. Check it before you wreck it, Kirk St. Moritz

  130. Mousebert –> you meant *moot*, right?
    Basically every comment is *mute*.
    Unless you hear voices.
    Then these comments probably sound like . . . . well, I don’t know, but I would imagine its a very rowdy event.

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