Turns out we *had* had that conversation before and I won it then too.

Conversation with Victor in the car:

Me: Holy fuck. Did you just see that sign? Herman Munster is selling real estate.

No shit, y'all. This is real.

Victor:  Well, the recession’s hard on everybody.

me:  I’m just shocked that he’s still alive.

Victor:  Of course he’s alive. He’s a fucking Frankenstein.

me:  Frankensteins aren’t immortal.  They’re…un-dead.  With a hyphen.

Victor:  No, they’re reanimated.

me:   Exactly.  Just like Jesus.

Victor:  JESUS WAS NOT FUCKING REANIMATED. Wait, haven’t we already had this conversation?

me:  Probably.  We’ve been married 14 years.  We’re bound to be in reruns by now.

Comment of the day: That sign is total bullshit. The Cullens live in Washington.  Not Texas. ~ Undercovermama

106 replies. read them below or add one

  1. That’s nothing. Batman is selling my house. OH, I’m sorry, it’s Christian Bale. But he keeps screaming obscenities at the prospects and saying he can’t work under these conditions, so we have no offers. I’m calling Herman Munster.

  2. I can’t count how many times I have had the Jesus/Frankenstein conversation with my husband. Oh, and the Wolfman/Benecio Del Toro conversation too.

  3. Better Herman than Grandpa. He’d just try to drink your blood.

    Becky Mochaface recently posted Book Review- The Lace Reader.

  4. You only need to worry if you have the same argument more than once and the outcome is different. Because that means you’re being remade instead of rerun, and we all know remakes are never as good as the original.

    Sono recently posted I Have Eaten A Lot Of Ramen Lately.

  5. Anyone else find the clash of fantasy worlds hilarious? Herman Munster is selling property on Cullen’s frontage…

    Ellie Di recently posted How Vision and Culture Shape Language.

  6. That’s amazing. I kind of love VIctor, in a way.

    Windsor Grace recently posted New Ink It’s rad.

  7. 7
    Bad Guy Zero

    Henry Miller manages commercial real estate in the Dallas/Fort Worth metromess. It’s apparent to me that the foundation is being laid for some sort of celebrity zombie invasion.

  8. –>When my husband and I have the same rerun conversation he eventually interrupts me and says, “Just sit there and look pretty!” Then I’m stunned into silence. Bastard. It works every time.

    WebSavvyMom recently posted Our Home is a Battlefield.

  9. I agree with you. Reanimated just means you’re going to run out of juice again at some point.

    Or someone’s going to set you on fire.

    Bridget Callahan recently posted What I Want for My Birthday.

  10. Frankenstein was a FORD. Fucked Over Re-built Death. Which would kind of make him like a zombie, only not.

    Holly B recently posted Goodbye Mr Lappy.

  11. “What was once an inarticulate mass of lifeless tissues may I now present a
    cultured sophisticated man about town…”

  12. Frankenstein was the name of the doctor.

    Before his television career Mr. Munster was referred to as “Frankenstein’s monster” or just “the monster”.

  13. LOL! That’s OK, Jack O’Neill was selling a house around the corner from here. I kept imagining that he would use the Stargate to get to work, and THAT would be awesome! My husband thought I laughed about it because I wanted to get into Gen. O’Neill’s pants. Wait. I did. NM.

    Shirley recently posted School Shopping.

  14. Every time I see a bottle of ‘McWilliams’ wine on the shelf, I excitedly point it out to my boyfriend. He then reminds me that I said that last time we were at the liquor store. There’s a reason my nickname is ‘Goldie’ (short for goldfish)…

    Casey Williams recently posted Oops- I did it again.

  15. So let me see if I’ve got this straight… Victor thinks Jesus was faking it?

    kyknoord recently posted Nocturnal emissions.

  16. I call my husband, El Chupacabra, Herman Munster all the time. I wish he would call me princess or unicorn, but mostly he calls me Harpy… or fucktard…but, like, in a really endearing way…

    Jamie the Very Worst Missionary recently posted Yeah- I have my doubts.

  17. I don’t know, I like to think of my Jesus as being reanimated. That seems more realistic.

    Stephanie recently posted Whose problem is this- really.

  18. 18

    Anyone else think that the funniest part is Victor’s line at the end? About how they’re in reruns? LOVE IT. This is already happening to me and we’re not even married yet. Oy vey.

  19. This sign is total bullshit. The Cullens live in Washington, not Texas.

    Undercovermama recently posted I can be guilt tripped all the way to the gym- apparently.

  20. That reminds me! Time to renew my subscription to Better Homes and Corpses.

    Elly Lou recently posted Heartache.

  21. Okay, so how many of us have dialed the phone number?

  22. Your husband must love you and this blog! Did he have to pull over for that photo?

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted Life is short Order the lobster roll.

  23. I’m delighted to see this! It’s inspiring to see a fellow making a positive career change to something like selling real estate. As you know, most people who are on reality shows become obsessed with the lime light, and are always in the tabloids for their negative behavior like making sex tapes or putting their pets in cock fights. And this makes sense right? 1313 Mockingbird Lane was a spectacular property!

    adhocmom recently posted True Love Is Wearing a Bathing Suit in Public.

  24. Of course he’s alive, but why is he in Houston? Oh, right. The Munster’s like everything that other people hate.

    FabuLeslie recently posted Goodbye Civic- Hello Mini Cooper-.

  25. Anyone else notice that the last time this conversation took place was July 12, 2008? So is July the official month of the Undead/Zombie/Resurrection/Re-Animation Conversation? In July of 2012, I will be hiding in my basement prepared to battle brain-eating zombies or waiting for Jesus to take me away.

  26. I am with Ellie D. I thought it was more funny that he was selling real estate on Cullen frontage.

    Mand recently posted A mother of three.

  27. was that sign anywhere near 1313 Mockingbird Lane?

  28. Rhett Butler sells State Farm insurance in Athens, GA. Not as good as HM selling real estate.
    Oh, have you seen the article about the Zombiefit exercise classes? http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2010-06-24/health/ct-play-st-charles-new-zombie-20100624_1_zombie-invasion-undead-parkour

    Glitzy recently posted Meet Milton.

  29. I really want to know how old the Herman Munster on the sign is. (stepping out of the fantasy/horror world for mo) Because if he is younger than about 45 his family named him that knowing what he was in for.
    I think I would sue my parents. Just saying.

    Non-Believer recently posted Nonsense Peddlers – why we listen.

  30. Consumer Warning:


    The house I bought from the Addams Family Realty Company had termites. TERMITES and UNDEAD PEOPLE.

    “Passed inspection,” my ass.

    moooooog35 recently posted The Band-Aid Comes off Quick.

  31. I will have to admit that trumps our area Realtor – Bill Nye (not the Science Guy): http://www.century21bnr.com/Real-Estate.aspx?page=19&content=About%20Us

    Also, Herman Munster should have no trouble getting rid of the “Cullen Frontage” given the runaway popularity of Twilight. I’m sure a few thousand tweens would pool their money for that investment. Just sayin’.

    Suzannah DiMarzio recently posted Blogiversary Giveaway- It’s ZannaLand’s Anniversary But YOU Get the Gifts-.

  32. 32

    You are too funny! I have to say, I would pay top dollar to live in a house right in front of the Cullens. Though, if they are living in Texas I guess I would not see them as often.

  33. You are too funny! I have to say, I would pay top dollar to live in a house right in front of the Cullens. Though, if they are living in Texas I guess I would not see them as often.

  34. Jenny, you gotta get your web person to figure out how to add “Like” buttons to the comments. Because Navre’s, #14? TOTALLY cracked me up. 🙂

    gurukarm (@karma_musings) recently posted Now Living in a New Blogspace….

  35. Oh good grief! Next thing you know we’ll see a sign for Gilligan’s Dog Grooming service!

    Audrey at Barking Mad recently posted Dry Clean Only-.

  36. oops, wait. Navre’s comment is #21. Duh.

    gurukarm (@karma_musings) recently posted Now Living in a New Blogspace….

  37. I think you need to put the house you just got up for sale with this guy as your agent. It looks legit.

    Megan recently posted Tweaker- tweaker- pumpkin eater-.

  38. I know that having a real estate business is supposed to be lu-crative and all but with a name like Herman Munster you’d think he’d come up with something a little less creepy …. especially considering the recession and all

    Roschelle recently posted Visiting an Old Friend is Always Fun.

  39. Jon Connor totally worked with me in customer service at my last job… victor is correct the recession is hard on everyone – even in the future!

    Elizabeth recently posted The Taming of the Bees or Redneck Bee Removal 101.

  40. so what’s grandpa munster?

    pattypunker recently posted she’s wicked in all the right ways.

  41. I think they planted this sign just for you! And, what is the difference between “un-dead” and reanimated?

    Lena.FM recently posted My first man after divorce and a musician joke.

  42. ok, so how many of us went back to #14 then #21? It can’t just be me.

  43. My question is “Is he a Realtor?” After all, reanimated or un-dead, you never want to do real estate business with someone who isn’t a Realtor. Do business with a reanimated person who is JUST a real estate agent and you are just asking for trouble.

    Alicia recently posted If only I could make my kitchen into a bedroom.

  44. Oh lord. Husband and I are only 2 years in and we’re already repeating. Hell, half of our conversations go like this:

    Me: Insert Rant 3B.

    Husband: Insert Loving But Tolerant Response 32C here.

    Me: HEY! I was just saying!

    Husband: Insert Compliment 2G here.

    Margaret recently posted Five Things That Are Still Awesome About Air Travel.

  45. All I think of when I see Muensters name is cheese. Who the hell is herman?

    SuzRocks recently posted Chicago- Chicago- Chicago….

  46. Bless Herman Munster. To be fair, that guy needed a career change. He was looking a little pale… Probably from stress.

    Jo and the Novelist recently posted Sometimes being mad can be nothing more than inconvenient- Dear Neuroses- stay away- I’m busy.

  47. Now all I can think about are Christian Bale as Batman and Thing from The Addams Family, one yelling obscentities and the other flipping off prospects with me in the middle drinking a glass of champagne and thinking ‘CAN life get any better?’

    A Vapid Blonde recently posted This Is What Happens When You Find A Grilled Sausage In The Silverware Drawer.

  48. Was Herman Munster a frankenstein? I thought he was just a bloke with a big forehead and feet. Oh shit, just realised that I got him all confused with Lurch from the Addams family.

    Look you guys need diversion tactics. Instead of debating whether his is re-animated or un-dead, you should begin with something new…. like…. ermm… what the fuck do those bolts in his neck hold together?

    You’ll be invigorated!

    Annie (Lady M) x recently posted A Night of Stand-Up Comedy.

  49. on a related note: zombie wedding cake


  50. I like a real estate agent with a square head and bolts. Means he’s got character 🙂

    Jenn recently posted Adult Swim.

  51. You think that’s weird? I was surprised to see that my mother was selling a house half a mile away from mine. She lives 300 miles away, and hates to drive, so I don’t know how she manages to show houses. I guess that’s what happens when you’re retired.

    a recently posted Homes.

  52. 1313 Mockingbird Lane is in Dallas, not Houston. I’m on my way to go take a pic.

    Plano Mom recently posted Another Why.

  53. Branding and niche markets are important … I think Herman may have one …

    Jennifer S recently posted Wine Wednesday- RuBIZZO oooooo-.

  54. Which Cullen’s frontage are we talking about here? Because, seriously, I’d pay a pretty penny to be able to look out my window and see Carlisle’s frontage everyday.

    Rachel recently posted My First Amendment right to make an idiot of myself.

  55. I bet he gets pissed off about it, too. Just like that guy in the movie Officespace when he gets his panties all twisted up about his name being Michael Bolton…

    tracey recently posted O Happy Day-.

  56. I dunno how good Herman is going to be at this realtor thing – I don’t remember him being very bright.

  57. herman has associates? that’s good he finally found some friends. everyone always used to run away from him and he’d get all sad. seriously, realtors will hang out with anyone these days.

  58. Ummm further proof of Jesus’ “real” origins: http://jesusislove.tumblr.com/post/770142197

  59. I’m holding out for Eddie Munster Realty. He had much better style smarts than Hermie.

    Wombat Central recently posted Toys of Days Gone By.

  60. Wait… Herman Munster sells houses? And not just any houses, but houses that include pretend sparkly vampire frontals, I mean, frontage? That’s pretty incredible. I should’ve hired him instead of the douche in the pink shirt I did hire. That guy was a douche.

    Kendahl recently posted I Wish I Liked Anything As Much As My Kids Like Bubbles.

  61. yeah, i wanna buy a house from that guy.

    Simone recently posted The Wonder Twins are possibly the worst superheroes ever.

  62. Every once in a while, I snicker michieviously while reading your column. How long is it going to take before my husband stops asking “what?” when the answer is always…ALWAYS…”just reading thebloggess again”.

  63. I totally want to name my kid Wednesday. I mean, I’m not having more kids, but if I did, I would want to. Just, you know, I thought I’d share.

    Aunt Becky recently posted The Incredible Lightness Of Truth.

  64. Herman has associates? The fuck? Also – Victor is WRONG – Herman wasn’t a Frankenstein because Frankenstein was the DOCTOR and the monster was simply… his monster. Or his bitch. Whatever works.

    Danita recently posted And it’s back to the fucking hospital again.

  65. I nominate Shirley (#13) for comment of the day. I think my husband would be so excited about having a Stargate to take to work that he would happily let me romp in Col. O’Neill’s pants. I know I’d be happy. Whatever.

    KYouell recently posted Ear bud zipper.

  66. I just want to know WHO HIS ASSOCIATES are. Why are we overlooking this? Is it a family operation? Is he working with other TV Land show characters? I’m honestly surprised he has any friends who’d be willing to work with him.

    LaraLev recently posted College is all drama.

  67. You know after his show got dropped he had to do something. I’m just glad he’s doing OK. He always seemed like a nice guy.

  68. There’s a real estate agent here in California named Jamie Somers. AND she sells real estate in Ojai – which is where the TV Jamie Somers Bionic Woman was supposedly from. Coincidence???? I think not. But Herman Munster is cooler.

    Susan recently posted BOOK WORM WEAR.

  69. Jesus is a total Zombie…… Just sayin’.

  70. Oh, Bless you for linking for something so old I hadn’t read it before. I thought I had delved so far back that I read everything, but I was wrong. It’s like you reanimated my whole afternoon. I was going to clean my house… balls. Distracted again….

    LadyV recently posted An obsessive letter to a soup company.

  71. Oh, and there’s an architecture firm here in Brandon, FL called Dykes / Johnson. Which makes me afraid to have them draw up the plans for my house, because if the bitch didn’t like me, she would make it look like a buttplug or something. I guess this comment is more appropriate for your OTHER blog.

    LadyV recently posted An obsessive letter to a soup company.

  72. A peculiar number of readers found my blog somehow by your direction, and I just wanted to day thanks. Thanks for everything.

    Your #1 fan – always….

  73. I should really start taking my camera with me everywhere. You’ve inspired me.

    Megan @Momlarky recently posted Thumbsucker.

  74. At least you talk about more than poo-poo undies…

    juliejulie recently posted My Funny Date with Suzy Soro in Hollywood.

  75. A) Oh my god who would want Cullen frontage? There’s be all these dead bodies lying around. Oh wait, they don’t eat people. Well… I’d prefer not to live there and have to look at their douche-y cars all day long.

    B) Ok, if someone is un-dead (and I agree with you on that one) rather than an immortal, can they ever die again? I need a chart or a graph or something.

    C) I fail to see the difference between Frankenstein and Jesus, except that Frankenstein is made up of a bunch of dead people, whereas Jesus is made up of only one.

    Busted Kate recently posted An Ode To My Enthusiastic Mother.

  76. Ok I just read your Jesus/Vampire/Zombies trackback argument with Victor. I don’t understand the appeal of resurrected… I mean, hasn’t ANYONE read/seen Pet Cemetary??? I really don’t want to have to kill an undead 2-year old, do you?

    Oh god, I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell just from this comment alone.

    Busted Kate recently posted An Ode To My Enthusiastic Mother.

  77. You absolutely need Herman Munster to sell your house. Or you could list it on eBay, you seem to do pretty well there.


    EdT. recently posted Life After Lindsay.

  78. Sometimes when I read about the conversations between you and Victor, I cannot help but wonder whether, indeed, our lives are pre-destined and what happens has already been scripted from a long time ago.

    I am so happy you are you. And you may not like this, but I am so happy Victor is Victor. 🙂

    subWOW recently posted July 7 Day 78 Remember the Gulf.

  79. OK – so what are you doing leaving the rain-soaked, monster storm center, humid, over-crowded Houston? How could you abandon such a place for the comfort of scorpions, snakes and hills……

  80. Jesus and Herman Munster are both zombies? I didn’t know that 🙂 You learn something new every day #smilesandhugs

    Jon Pear (a.k.a. NeuroAster) recently posted a really stupid poem.

  81. 81

    I wonder, is there a reason that Herman’s picture is not also on his sign? Most real estate agents have their Glamour Shot attached…hmmm….

  82. The real question here is, why do you two keep having this argument in the car? I think your car is secretly emitting freaky brainwaves to break you and Victor up. I’ll bet it’s that slut Garmin with her hot-girl direction-giving voice. I mean, she’s always turned on, she only talks when she has something meaningful to say, and she has a better sense of direction than you do. Well… fuck, maybe the Garmin would make a better wife.

  83. What’s the definition of “reanimated”? If it’s dying and then coming back to life, it sounds like Jesus fits the bill. I paid attention in catechism – he was dead for two whole days before he came back. Oh wait, that’s resurrected. And that’s different from resuscitated, right? I remember learning about resuscitation with the dummy and alcohol from health class in 8th-grade. It wasn’t alcohol you got to drink (which would have made the class awesome). We had to stick it on the dummy’s mouth so we didn’t get sick from other people’s germs. That would be reinfected.

  84. follow! the bouncing ball…

    “freeman ford! from the delta 260 degree exit valley streaming to south gate….666 feet from the mall!”

    dirt clustit recently posted even when satan is identified- is it safe to listen to god.

  85. wholy fuck is right!

    bad bad bad typo- should be rivering, not streaming, nor creaming… yet

    dirt clustit recently posted even when satan is identified- is it safe to listen to god.

  86. Since you’re in re-runs, you should do that episode where Potsy and Ralph are going to get beat up by those bikers then Fonzie shows up and is all “heeeeyyyy”and the bikers back down. I loved that one. I’d also like to see you throw in a little more Jeffersons. Thanks.

    MayoPie recently posted Search Term Update- Shut your face-hole sarah wedding cake.

  87. I like how you had the same conversation exactly 2 years ago. Talk about reruns! July is a whacked month for you two.

    Kellie recently posted TV - Less.

  88. I used to work for an insurance agent named Fred Krueger. His secretary was Donna Mills.

    They had me roll joints and return porn videos. (hmmm… I feel a blog post coming on.)

    Kernut The Blond recently posted Emails With Guy Kawasaki and The Bloggess.

  89. Response to comment of the day: That comment was bullshit. The Cullens live in a suburb of Vancouver, masqueraded as Washington. 😉

    Zoeyjane recently posted The day may come.

  90. This is reminiscent of the conversation I just had with my husband about Joseph being Jesus’ stepdad. Because he didn’t get Mary pregnant, but he still like has to raise the kid as his own. I think. I’m not clear on bible stuff. But I feel like Mary gets all the glory what with her bloody mary cocktails and her hail marys and Joseph gets nothing.

    tara recently posted Knock Knock Jokes- Slow Shitters and Pig Valves- The Cottrells Take a Vacation.

  91. I’m beginning to think the only conversations I have with my husband are re-runs. But only because I think he’s starting to tune me out and forgets entire conversations.

    Zoey @ Good Goog recently posted My Little Lady.

  92. Still contemplating the reanimated thing. I guess the difference is the diet. One is high protien, i.e. brains, and that is what keeps you going.

    Regarding marriage-
    Ironic that our linked post is about marriage. In most cases, we believe, people can learn from their pets. However, given your near death experience allegedly incurred by the family pug and his weapon of mass destruction, i.e. dried chicken strips, you actually may be the one living exception to the rule. Awesome.

    LookieLou, @TPPCtv, Web TV for Pet Lovers recently posted What Pets Teach Us About Marriage…Pets Teach Us So Much.

  93. Hey, if is possible, sure explains a lot, I think the agent who just sold my house was from Dawn of the Living Dead… very tall, no humor, pale green complexion,just go go go towards any human target, and a steady stream of drool.


    Brahm (alfred lives here) recently posted When you swish upon a star- a big gay book by a little gay actor.

  94. I like how at the bottom it has the “/” symbol and then says “Will Divide”. Yeah, I know what the symbol means asshole, thanks for the math lesson.

  95. My brother’s girlfriends parents were over and NO ONE warned me they were religious so of course Jesus comes up in conversation (as he does…) and I was all “That dude is my fav zombie of all time!” and I got this look, this “thou shalt be smoted” look and I was sorely tempted to bust out the whole “Dont worry, all this pre-marital sex and shell fish is totally sending me to hell, I can say what I want” thing but then my brother, aka He-Who-Blasphemes gave me the desperate SHUT UP look.

    Some people do not appreciate zombies or sex.

    Beausaphine recently posted Seriously- It’s got to be hidden in here somewhere.

  96. You are SO going to get attacked by zombies.

    Mrs. P recently posted Mrs P Is Down With The Kids.

  97. I nearly ran off the road yesterday due to the insurance-sign stylings of one “Randy Beavers.” I’m tempted to switch to State Farm just to be able to brag about my agent’s porn name.

  98. Oh yeah, Herman Munster is real! Like I would believe that! Edward, on the other hand, is totally real.

    happyhourmary recently posted Tangley Oaks Cabernet 2005.

  99. Herman Munster has a head shaped like my friend James. James is also in real estate.

    Il Conformista recently posted Friday Four - 1980s movies.

  100. I am going crazy too, cause I looked at the photo and said – I have seen that before!

    Aimee Greeblemonkey recently posted July Greeblemix - Lots of Summer Music-.

  101. I’ve always liked Sam Kinison’s take on Jesus. He said that Jesus was the only person to come back from the dead and not scare the shit out of everybody.

  102. hee hee hee.
    question: can you ever have any *new* conversations when you’ve been married 10+ years?
    depressing, eh?

    hpretty recently posted “Unmotherly” mothers.

  103. Jesus being a zombie makes that thing about eating the cracker make a lot more sense. If they put caviar or something on it, that’d be the clincher. Herman Munster worked in the Mortuary back in the 60s. I guess with all the zombies that turned out to be not as recession-proof as you’d think. You just never know what the safe careers are.

  104. […] learning Herman Munster is alive and well and selling real estate, reminded me of one of the many jobs I […]

  105. I was so confused because I thought you said that frankensteins have a *hymen* and I was all, um, I don’t think so, because in this day and age and with all the zombie sex mentioned on this blog, I find it highly unlikely that a re-animated un-dead would be a virgin and/or never used a tampon. And then I was all, *oh*. A *hyphen*.

  106. So, since I’m a stay at home mom who has nothing better to do than lose her mother-fathering mind, I’m reading all your posts. That’s right, all of them. I’m stalking you. But also, that’s why this comment is coming along so long after you wrote this. I had to explain all of that to simply comment this:

    Charlie Brown sells real estate in our ‘hood.

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