I was just outside and I heard this thrumming noise and I stopped short because I thought maybe it was a snake and I looked around and finally realized that I was hearing the sound of a hummingbird flapping it’s wings and I was all “Victor? I don’t want to alarm you but I think I just got super-human hearing because I JUST HEARD A FUCKING HUMMINGBIRD WITH MY BARE EARS” and he was all “I said ‘Uh…yeah. Everyone can do that”. And I half-suspect that he’s just lying because he’s threatened by my super powers but I actually had to ask him to repeat himself twice because I couldn’t hear what he was saying but that was probably because he was mumbling on purpose just to throw me off.
It’s been a very disappointing sort of morning.
And now for my weekly wrap-up of shit-I-did-this-week-when-wasn’t-here:
This week on Ill-Advised:
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):
This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:
This week on the internets:
- A post I wrote about being plagiarized was plagiarized. For real.
- My photograph made it to the front page of HackedIRL.
- In honor of no make-up week I gave up showering and also murdered my cat.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome: