Because A. I’m my own boss so I could get this as my new work uniform and I’m pretty sure that makes it tax-deductible.
2. I would wear this everyday that I work on my book. Because who wouldn’t buy a book written by a girl dressed as a panda? Vegans, probably.
C. Last year I totally wrote about how I wanted to sleep in bears to save lives. This is a sign.
4. OMG LOOK AT IT. It’s so adorable that I could go to the liquor store and after they rang me up I’d be all “I can’t pay because I’m a bear. No pockets. Rowr.” And they’d probably just give me the booze for free. Or if they didn’t I could just run out with the booze because there’s no way they’re going to remember what my face looks like because they’ll be so distracted by the panda face and they probably wouldn’t even report it because who’s gonna believe that you got mugged by a panda at the liquor store? Oh, and also I’d mug them. In for a penny, in for a panda.
D. I also want the flying-squirrel because it’s basically a pair of pajamas that come with a blanket that you can never lose. The only thing that would make this better is if it had a little pocket for sleeping pills. And one for my gun. Because you’re probably gonna need a gun if you’re going to mug someone in a flying-squirrel costume. No one ever takes flying-squirrels seriously.