FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE BUY ME THIS:
Because A. I’m my own boss so I could get this as my new work uniform and I’m pretty sure that makes it tax-deductible.
2. I would wear this everyday that I work on my book. Because who wouldn’t buy a book written by a girl dressed as a panda? Vegans, probably.
C. Last year I totally wrote about how I wanted to sleep in bears to save lives. This is a sign.
4. OMG LOOK AT IT. It’s so adorable that I could go to the liquor store and after they rang me up I’d be all “I can’t pay because I’m a bear. No pockets. Rowr.” And they’d probably just give me the booze for free. Or if they didn’t I could just run out with the booze because there’s no way they’re going to remember what my face looks like because they’ll be so distracted by the panda face and they probably wouldn’t even report it because who’s gonna believe that you got mugged by a panda at the liquor store? Oh, and also I’d mug them. In for a penny, in for a panda.
D. I also want the flying-squirrel because it’s basically a pair of pajamas that come with a blanket that you can never lose. The only thing that would make this better is if it had a little pocket for sleeping pills. And one for my gun. Because you’re probably gonna need a gun if you’re going to mug someone in a flying-squirrel costume. No one ever takes flying-squirrels seriously.
Great. Now I have to change the name of our band from “Heroin Kittens” to “Heroin Squirrels.”
Actually, I like that better. Bitchin’.
I see some logistical problems in the lavatory department.
I mean, a sleeper seems a little friendlier for that.
Also, are these not for the furbie people?
Or, Halloween?
But now that you mention it…it DOES look comfy. And, well, free booze.
The tiger looks more like a Pikachu to me. Which is totally rad.
Just this morning on twitter, my “friends” were discussing forcing me to wear a gerbil suit out into public. Please, lord, don’t let them find this site.
The worst part is that the flying squirrel costumes are sold out.
If you and your friends all got special bear outfits and guns you might be known as the new `bad news bears`and then people would definately take you seriously.
I guess I’m not that bright because I really thought this was a penguin. I think it was the crotch flying low to the ground.
Yeah, I’m not good at animals.
Plus you could also be buried in it so it’s a win-win for everyone, no?
no one would believe that someone was mugged by a panda at a liquor store.
because everyone knows that pandas are straight edge and don’t drink.
This might also solve your feetie pajama funeral outfit dilema….did I make that up in my own head or did I read that somewhere.
Drugs are a hell of a drug.
Ask and you certainly shall receive.. since, you know, there is a whole sick segment of the population that likes to have sex in those costumes.
They must have huge dry cleaning bills.
SD
OMG…I WANT!!!! Do you think my bridesmaids would want that for thier bridesmaids gifts instead of flasks? ‘Cause, no pockets means that they can’t have both; unless i got necklaces with flasks attached…My sister would kill me if I got her the flying squirrel. She is convinced that they are out to get her and will attack any day now.
I can’t believe the flying-squirrel is sold out. My heart hurts a little.
PS. Hat-tip for the link goes to pinatasgotthebat, who is practically made of awesome.
It concerns me that the crotch is so very low to the ground… so very low. But I guess you could put your booze in there when you steal it, in order to have your hands free. It looks more realistic to have your hands free of booze when you are ROWRing in the face of guy at the counter.
Good luck. Oh and the flying squirrel… Fuck Yeah
@Daddy Scratches I think maybe you just need to have more bands…. I support that!
I laughed so hard I choked on my coffee – and I wasn’t even drinking coffee!
At the liquor store, you could say “I’m looking for some gin and ………………………………………………………………………………………………. vodka …” and when the clerk says “why the big pause?” you could hold up your hands and say “well, because I’m a BEAR. Duh.”
What’s also good is that you have enough space to totally carry your baby cubs in there. Obviously, you need to to bring them up for air and sunlight now and then. Wouldn’t want them to think the world is dark and gloomy. Oh yes, that whole suffocation thing too. Wouldn’t want that to happen either. Otherwise, very cool outfit for everyday wear. Approved.
You know, of course, that someone is probably going to buy you this. Then you will have to wear it. And it will probably catch on as the newest fashion, because that’s just your power. And so, I would like to put in a request that this company make these with a pee flap because I have a small bladder. Also, lots of pockets.
If you’re going to get the flying squirrel, I’m going to suggest that you carry along the shotgun shaped tequila bottle. Because, well…obviously.
Wow that Flying Squirrel has a mean looking face. If I were you, I’d use that one to rob instead of the Panda. All you have to do is put your head down and once they saw those devil eyes they’d hand over the money and booze.
Did you see how fast the flying squirrel costumes sold out? Like commenters 1-9 totally stole your idea and bought them all up quick so they too could go a-mugging! You have to stop just giving out all this awesome advice for free…
That poor, poor model. I think she probably wants to kill herself.
This appears dangerously close to looking like a plushie…
The flying squirrel is sold out? Jesus Christ, I just reprinted all the shirts for our band. These name-changes are costing me a fortune.
Don’t *even* ask me to go with “Heroin Bears.” Kittens and squirrels on heroin are funny. A bear all hopped-up on smack? Not so much.
What noises do Pandas make anyway? same as bears? I think they have their own dialect. Kinda Southern (Panda) vs. New Yawk City (Lion)
I’m a vegan and I’d buy a book written by you wearing a panda outfit. Especially if the book purchased included a signed photo of you in the panda outfit. And a picture of James Garfield.
Nah, I’d buy the book no matter what.
Hmm makes me think of that episode of CSI where the fury convention was going on.
With the stalkers you inspire, you’ll be suited up in no time!
You are my hero!!!
I never would have taken you for a furry.
I have the Hello Kitty one. I’m not even remotely ashamed about it.
I may have even made it my Facebook profile picture at one point.
WHAT OF IT?
(Honestly, I already had a boring grey one with no hood, they’re pretty practical for keeping warm – they’re made of polar fleece. The discovery of the Hello Kitty one – FOR GROWN UPS – was just fate.)
Must. have. hamster. pjs! Too cute! And you would be an adorable panda!
Oh, Sweet Jesus. Did you check this out? http://www.cushzilla.com/cushzilla-sleepover-wear.asp
Because the guy in the seal jammies with the little tail flippers flapping off his butt is killing me.
“Point Break” may have been that much more awesome had Patrick Swayze’s posse dressed as cuddly woodland creatures instead of presidents.
I’m ok with the flying squirrel being sold out, the panda is WAY better. I second the vote on the book photo in the panda costume, clutching James Garfield. People would totally buy the book just for that…. And what sounds do pandas make???
Maybe the crotch is so low to make room for a diaper. If you can’t have a butt flap you ar going to need a diaper. Otherwise you might as well just go naked,
I think you’ve missed an opportunity by not considering the kangaroo. Baby = booze cozy.
Keep away from anything outfit like that that if you might be confused with a mascot. That whole subculture (furries) is too odd even for you. On the plus side though, it does look warm.
I like the penguin one, but would prolly go for the giraffe because I have a thing for giraffes, but the Santa ones are cool, too.
If I worked at a liquor store I have very little doubt that I would be mugged by a panda. Shit like that always happens to *me.*
Get them both, definitely.
There is an upcoming show called ‘Strange Addictions’ with a chick who digs being in furry costumes, like ALL the time. You could be her more talented sidekick.
If you decide to go through with the liquor store heist, where the OTHER costume for your appearance on the Dr. Phil show.
And bring James Garfield.
Phil will have a field day with y’all.
OMG the Monster is pretty awesome too but my luck I’d end up injuring the wrong people with the tail.
I had a flying squirrel back in elementary school. His name was Alex and I loved him. Would wear shirts with chest pockets and he would sleep in there all day. So much easier than a puppy. There was the time that he got loose and was flying around the living room and landed on Mom’s head and she screamed and threw him off and then he hid in the back of the recliner and Dad had to take it apart to get him out but aside from that, totally easy.
Hold up now. First, I’m bettin’ that thing is 100% nylon and ass-scrapingly itchy making it wearable to work (keeps you awake) but not to bed (see last). And also: aren’t pandas and flying squirrels vegans? Just saying.
It would totally be better if it had feet, like feetie pajamas, right?!
I’ve volunteered (on twitter) to buy it, but she won’t give me an address (yet) to have it shipped to. All I demand in exchange is picture proof of wearing it.
I just don’t understand how one person can be so funny. I don’t get it.
It is ALMOST the perfect funeral casket outfit (huh?) except for one major flaw: no footies.
Uh oh. I am now convinced that I am going to soon suffer a traumatic flying squirrel accident. This is the second time in two days that flying squirrels have reared their heads…how often do you talk about flying squirrels? Might be common for you, but it never happens to me.
I’m totally bummed that this doesn’t actually qualify as “footie pajamas” because they don’t have footies. I’m thinking you’ll have to take your dead heroin kitties and make kitten slippers instead of mittens. Which would be nice, actually, because there probably isn’t anything softer and more comfortable than walking on kittens.
Believe it or not, the minor league baseball team in my hometown are the Richmond Flying Squirrels.
If you’re going to rob people while wearing the panda costume, it might be best to not wear it anywhere else. Cause everyone in your town would look at you, look down at their newspaper (because in all movies people can look down and they’re holding a newspaper) and the headline will be all like, “Panda Robs Liquor Store. But Damn, That Looks Comfy.” And then everyone would know it was you. So, you need some decoy costumes. Pay people whom (who?) you hate to wear one, THEN rob a liquor store. THEN burn their houses down so they’re forced to go outside. Wait for the firemen to come, and then go over to their house and yell, “THAT’S THE LIQUOR STORE ROBBER!” Then you won’t be arrested. You can pay me for my advice….if you want.
Whitney
Just be careful. You wouldn’t want anyone to mistake you for a Furry…That would be awkward…Unless you’re into that…
and so reasonably priced. it would be a crime not to purchase one.
Is anyone else picturing the casting call for these models?
“Yes, nice head shots. I see you’ve done some work for JC Penny… Do you happen have any experience posing as a cute, furry animal?”
Why I do believe Miss Jenny you would make a wonderful flying squirrel secret agent hitwoman 🙂
Ummmm….if anyone could rock that look it would be you.
I’m no accountant, but I’m pretty sure you have to buy the panda suit YOURSELF in order for it to be tax deductible. On the other hand, if it’s on the list with your other stuffed animals, the IRS probably won’t even notice.
My husband’s elementary school mascot was a blue Panda, which I mercilessly make fun of him for. I now know what he’s getting for Valentine’s Day. You welcome, darling. You’re welcome.
Reminds me of that movie with Ben Stiller, where he kills a Panda while filming a war movie in the jungle and wears it on his head. I like it was called “Kung Fu Panda”.
The important thing, of course, is to find one with footies so that when they read your tattoo and see you want to be buried in your jammies, they pick the Panda jammies. Just think how during the Zombie Apocalypse when you rise from your grave in the booze soaked Panda jammies you are going to get all the really choice brains because you are too cute to set on fire (or whatever it is that you do to retire a zombie.) On the other hand, if you do spill booze on the Panda suit, you will be more flammable when you become a Zombie. Unless it evaporates really quickly. Then you will only smell flammable. Wait–they make children’s pajamas flame redardant…do they do that with these pajamas? If so then you should TOTALLY be buried in them because then you can be the invulnerable Zombie Queen. All Hail the Panda Zombie Bloggess! Only the finest brains for Her!
Maybe you should just
A squirrel *needs* a pocket to hold his nuts.
Crazy thing is -they will probably sell a million of these things. I need to spend less time trying to come up with good ideas and more time trying to come up with wacky/crazy ideas.
…. adding that to my 2011 ToDo list….
@larryphoto
It’s a costume -and- it’s a pajama! It does double duty! You can’t afford not to buy it!!
That flying squirrel looks pissed. Perhaps you should wear that when you HOLD UP the liquor stores.
Jenny, I love you. However, I need to point out that there is a big problem with what you are saying here. First, Pandas are in the raccoon family. That would probably help with the whole holding up the liquor store and mugging people scenario because raccoons are generally shifty and where masks but they don’t hibernate or rowr (I imagine they chitter or talk like Edward G Robinson or like the guy from the Bugs Bunny cartoons). Just some coaching there in case a raccoon catches you or a person with Asperger’s reads you the riot act for calling Pandas, bears.
Carry on.
2b. you could title the book “pandamonium.”
XD I used to have a flying squirrel suit. Theses are called kigurumi in Japan and that’s where mine came from. It was completely awesome. My twin sister had one too. We went to a convention and while my sister wasn’t wearing her suit, our best friend wore it. We tried to play leapfrog in them, but the crotch of the suit is so low that my friend got stuck on my ass. It looked like we were having weird, flying squirrel buttsex. I even have a picture around here somewhere. So, seeing as how I used to have one…and now want another one, I fully support that you have one of these.
are you kidding me? Vegans love pandas. They’re like the mascot for veganism or something.
I just saw the flying squirrel pj’s. I have no words.
That is amazing. I would get the panda, but I am Asian so it seems a bit on the nose. Flying squirrel it is. Unless those cost more than the forever lazy… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S2p7AiNX9g
My girlfriend & I are getting married on the beach this summer – her sisters are SO wearing the cow costumes as their bridesmade dresses!! I like my sisters better, so they will be in the giraffes costumes! Thank you for solving my “how to make sure I look best at my wedding” dilema!!
I will buy it for you only if you let me sew feet into it and when you die you are buried in it. ok? do we have a deal?
“It’s so adorable that I could go to the liquor store and after they rang me up I’d be all “I can’t pay because I’m a bear. No pockets. Rowr.” And this is why I love you.
my cousin has the flying-squirrel costume. she wore it last year for Halloween. she loves it (although the dogs get a little freaked out) and it is very comfy!
I have to say I am partial to the hamster costume in pink! I could totally rock as a pink hamster.
“… who is practically made of awesome.”
*jumping up and down, sqealing*
I personally favored the flying squirrel too, but thought rigging a corpse to fly (and finding enough binoculars for all the mourners) would be even trickier than the robot-voodoo-zombie-powered hamster ball. But if you want to wear it *before* you die, that’d probably work.
doo doo doot doo doo….Sexual Harassment. Panda.
I was wondering what would happen if I wore one of these to the office, and then I found this.
http://www.cushzilla.com/cushzilla-office-wear.asp
It needs to have feeties in it.
Then feetie-pajama casket outfit ALSO solved.
I like your idea of distraction before robbery. I like the way you think….
Is that a bad sign?
??
No, no, no…. This will not do. I can only picture a preview on Discovery something or other where there was a girl running around all day in a pink furry costume. I see an addiction here, especially since you like your wigs so much.
RUN AWAY, Jenny. And don’t look back.
Also you could wear it driving because it’s well documented that Asians drive better when they are sharing the road with Pandas so you instantly become SAFER.*
Safer driving means lower insurance and that’s best for all of us. It practically pays for itself.
*it’s only documented in this comment, but whatever.
OhEmmGee the panda comes in purple! Now I want one.
Anyone else see that and flash back to Mr. Rogers and the whole purple-panda-from-outer-space-who-can’t-go-home-because-he-sat-in-a-rocking-chair story line in the Land of Make Believe? No? Just me? Crap.
I saw a stuffed head today on the news and thought of you. I think it might have been a warthog or something, but it was not nearly as fearsome as James Garfield.
I thought you would want to know you have the baddest assed stuffed one EVER.
I think my favorite is the “monster” because I might get fewer strange looks if I act like a dinosaur while wearing it (as opposed to acting like a dinosaur while not wearing it). Clearly I should get it and conduct an experiment to see if I’m correct.
Also, not to be a total zoologist, but pandas are bears. Red pandas ARE related to raccoons and are not bears. (Koala “bears” are also not actual bears.) But giant pandas are totally bears. Plus, they have thumbs! So it would make mugging a liquor store that much easier. I’m not sure why we don’t hear more about pandas holding up liquor stores. If I was a bear with thumbs, I’d mug liquor stores like, every day.
I don’t really understand how it can be tax deductible as your work uniform if I buy it for YOU, as TheBloggess, so I’ve decided to make all my employees wear them (choice of Panda or Squirrel) and make you an honorary employee so you can have one and I can write them all off. So now you can honestly tell people you work for a pizzeria on the side (you only work for tips, though, so don’t come to me for a paycheck.
OMG! I have to have the hamster one! Is so cute! I could totally bust in the door to my sons’ bedroom and jump on his bed and freak him the fuck out. Because, you know, that’s what Moms do. I mean you have to prepare your kids for random hamster attacks. Plus the video would go viral on youtube. …I think the hamster powers are already going to my head.
Pocket problem solved! http://compare.ebay.com/like/250656775699?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&rvr_id=198267115230&crlp=1_263602_309572&UA=%3F*F%3F&GUID=863c88e312d0a47a43e34f93ffdef516&itemid=250656775699&ff4=263602_309572
Score! I predicted YEARS ago that writing that sex column would turn you into a Furry, and it. has. happened!!! Now, who the fuck did I bet?
i’m a vegan and i’d buy the shit out of a book written by a girl in a panda suit. also, per the comment above, i am not a furry.
Sweet Jesus those costumes are great. And the flying squirrel is sold out so you know it’s popular with someone somewhere.
This could be your “not tonight” sign for Victor. If you have it before bedtime, he won’t even have to ask. Because it’s super-not-sexy. Wow.
Whenever I see that type of costume, my brain forces me to interpret it as a large animal in the middle of puking up a person’s head.
If you look closely, the panda is quite horrified, like *Blurg… what the hell did I eat and where the hell’s my prilosec?*
PS: It is even more horrible with animal hats and thoughts of having a human crammed halfway up their butts.
I vote for the dinosaur… then you don’t need your gun. No one messed with dinosaurs. Also? Teeth. Plus, I think threatening to attack someone in your dinosaur PJs would be pretty awesome.
Also, the model’s face for the dinosaur one is freaking hilarious. Someone should have told her she didn’t need to bare her teeth… the dinosaur costume does that for you. Duh.
http://www.cushzilla.com/shop/cushzilla-funny-costume-pjs-for-adults/cushi-monster-costume-pjs.asp
And if you sneezed, the footage from the surveillance tape would probably rack up 150,000,000 views.
That is totally reserved for SF Giants fans. AKA: me.
Why has it taken so long for these to come into my life? I am so getting some. I do wish they had feeties, though.
OK ur right no one would believe you robbed a liqueur store, but it does not solve the paying for a dead pedicure problem, it has no feets…..
lol. My friends and I all have one; they’re great for ice skating!
What would really make either of these better is if they were feetie-bears or feetie-flying-squirrels because then this would also solve your “buried in feetie-pajamas” issues you mentioned in those phone messages you left yourself. Then Haley wouldn’t have to worry about it! Plus, how cool would it be to sleep in the bear *indefinitely*? All your problems would be solved and you would have one of the most memorable funerals ever as the first bear ever buried in a coffin since I’m pretty sure bears that die at the zoo are just fed to the lions and tigers.
Totally a win, win, win situation here.
Oh, and I’m not into the furry scene, but aparently you’re right – flying squirrels aren’t EVER taken seriously:
I SAW THESE and almost blogged about them but then didn’t because I wanted to get one first and THEN show people how awesome they are so I could be the stylish one but then I never bought it. BALLS.
I still want one though.
The flying squirrel one is terrifying. It has basilisk eyes AND it can fly. So if you are your own evil twin, you really ought to get that one.
I wonder if there is Snuggie evolution at work here. I think so, trust me I’m a scientist. Now it has to be true because I just wrote it on Wikipedia.
Um, this get-up is built for comfort, not for speed, so I’m not not sure how well you’d be able to run away in it. I mean, the crotch is like two feet low and the legs are tiny. Maybe go to a liquor store that has the electric ride-on shopping carts that you can use for your get-away; you’d probably be able to move faster. Plus you’d look like a handicapped bear and everyone would feel sorry for you and say that you deserved a few bottles of tequila and vodka.
I think you should buy this: http://www.geekologie.com/2011/01/want_a_badtotheass_octopus_arm.php
to sit in while you wear your panda suit. It would really bring the ensemble together.
“They have a pocket too!” http://www.cushzilla.com/shop/ (see down at the bottom)
So no fear on where to hold your booze or gun. Pocket is included!
And you could also learn how to levitate according to the slumber party photos. Woo!
IDK…pandas are kind of out….it’s all koalas now.
Between this post and Daddy Scratches comment – I couldn’t stop giggling enough to even read the rest of the comments! So I quit. I’m off to drink a lot of wine and buy myself a giant panda costume.
Forget the gun – keep with the theme! Go here: http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/main/calamities/ and arm yourself with an armful of plush calamities to throw at the cashier – then run! The plague, ebola and anthrax are okay… but the flesh eating virus is the cutest, imho.
Oh, Rachel – WOW! She really does need that chair to write in… or to sit in while decorating her dollhouse… or just for watching Pirates of the Caribbean… or for making a video on talk-like-a-pirate day. Geeze, the opportunities are endless!!! Great find!
I think this is genius. Especilly for up here in Canada where it’s damn cold. In fact, you should Youtube Ryan Gosling (also a Canadian) on Ellen last week – he would most certainly agree.
I got a parka cape (a snuggie/blanket, but better) for Christmas, and it is totally the best. gift. ever. *And* it has pockets. And a head-hole zipper. You can’t argue with a head-hole zipper. I don’t even know where to buy it, though, so I don’t really know why I’m telling you. To rub it in I guess. There’s a picture here: http://snappysurprise.blogspot.com/2010/12/gimme-gimme.html
Good luck finding one.
My only fear is that you would answer the door in it and then be taken for a furry. I feel like you might have enough to worry about, what with the neighbors knowing about Victor and the axe and all.
I.Must.Have.That.
The panda Suit,not the flying squirrel one.
The only thing that would make that panda suit better, is if it had feet.
I think my kids are mad at you. They were totally begging me to buy them these PJ’s, but they’re 7 and 10, and when I looked at the sizing info, they only make a “child size” (fits 2T to 6) and an “adult size” for people 5 to 6 feet tall. Way to leave out all the short adults and tall children, people. Or really tall adults (over 6 feet) are also out of luck. On the plus side, now I don’t have to buy them super-expensive pajamas. Or deal with the overtired and hyped up turtle and flying squirrel.
There is something about this post that is bothering me a great deal.
A
2
C
4
D….D….wait, according to the pattern, that should be E.
Thank JESUSHIMSELF that I’m not the only one.
Mikki,
XIV. That’s what makes it funny!
You. Deserve. This.
OMG I think I’m addicted to reading your blog! LOL
Totally on board with this idea. Panda pj’s + confidence wig = robber extraordinaire! You’d have no problem getting away with it. Probably several times, as long as you hit up different liquor stores, cause the first three or four won’t want anyone else to know they had been robbed by a kickin’ Panda. You’ll still need to come up with something to be buried in though.
So now I have to show you why Pandas apparently kick ass, literally.
Don’t mess with Panda.
Hey, wanna see someone awesome wearing the flying squirrel suit and running around like an idiot? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW0-NY7B0QA
You’re welcome.
JENNY. You don’t even know. My brother-of-the-japanese-mountaintops has an EVEN BETTER flying squirrel suit and wears it all the time. It is the happiest thing ever. If only I could show you the family picture album of all the good it hath wrought. Basically what I’m saying here is that you want one I can get you one but it may take 4 weeks to ship. There is also a frog option or so I am told.
Me thinks you’ve taken a flying leap and gone over the edge.
I miss the days when you had time to visit My Asylum and comment.
Holy shitballs, cynicalbuddha is a genius.
We need a Panda Snuggie.
Fucking brilliant. Everyone needs a backless, tie-less pand robe! Sign me up!
Well, that’s just disturbing.
I’m SO in!!!
But, {sadface}, flying squirrel is SOLD OUT 🙁 And? These people have a very strange sense of fashion. But! (again) CAT! and TIGER! and GIRAFFE! OK, I’m in 🙂
Good Luck with the IRS.
PS when you meet for your audit, please take a photo of the auditor’s face when you show up dressed like this. I can see the Xmas card for that year now.
Oh, I have to have the giraffe.
And I would so take you seriously as a panda.
I personally think you should try the penguin PJs.
~EdT.
As a vegan, I’m so far up in this idea that I’ll be leaving it $20 on the nightstand.
That made more sense in my head. I guess I’m saying I’d have sex with your book… and possibly a panda onesie? Huh. I did not think this through.
Monkey!
Hunting will be vastly improved, at least from the pure sporting angle, when the furry creatures are packing heat and Xanax.
omg, you could be just like these guys: http://inventorspot.com/articles/china_panda_researchers_find_panda_suits_suit_pandas
I would just like to pop in here and say that I actually own that panda suit. And my only reason is that I used to live in Korea…? That doesn’t sound like a reason, but it is, I promise.
There’s a two-headed squirrel on eBay right now that’s still cheaper than the PJs. I say get both; how relaxing would it be to climb into your panda suit, kick back in bed and admire your handsome two-headed rodent? And I bet the squirrel would prove useful too. Bonus.
(http://cgi.ebay.com/TWO-HEADED-FOX-SQUIRREL-GAFF-TAXIDERMY-PROP-SIDESHOW-/140500661911?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item20b67df697)
Here’s another option:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/13/forever-lazy-finally-a-we_n_808672.html
It’s not as cool in that it’s not an animal, but it does come with footies and has all the additions others have mentioned: pockets and trap doors for various relief requirements. It’s really cheap too: two for $29.95, you can get one for yourself and one for Victor so Hailey doesn’t have to worry about what to bury him in either. Bonus!
We currently have a flying squirrel infestation in our attic (apparently we are Party Central for the ‘hood). I wonder if I could wear this up into the attic and just, you know, scare the crap out of them. Because it’s cheaper that $1500 to have the attic closed up.
Oh my god.
Jenny.
I’m watching TLC’s new show “My Strange Addiction” and I just saw a preview for an upcoming episode.
Episode 7
Name: Lauren A.
Addiction: Wearing a fur suit
“Lauren can’t imagine going to a party or social event without wearing her fur suit. She’s completely dedicated to her ‘fursona’ — designing and sewing her costume well into the night, it even takes priority to finding a job.”
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/my-strange-addiction/episode-guide-13.html
Do you think we have a problem?
Oh how I’ve missed you Bloggess.
Is it wrong that I think this would look fantastic on you? Like you were born to wear it? Are you really a panda?
WHY????!!!!!! I could have asked for this for Christmas for ME. Myself. Instead of “asking for” some sexy robe that yeah we all know who that was for.
*sobs*
OMG. I went and looked at the website some more. the Hamster one is so adorable! What do you say we all wear this and get together at BlogHer?! 😉
“who’s gonna believe that you got mugged by a panda at the liquor store?”
You’re just. not. right. woman…
On a serious note Jenny, I think EFT could really help you with your arthritis. As nutty as it looks and sounds, it works WONDERS, as I’m happy to personally attest. I’ll drop this message onto a couple of posts so you can be sure to find it. I hate to think of you in that much pain…
http://www.eftuniverse.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2784:relieving-arthritis-by-tapping-on-generational-heredity-issues&catid=14:pain-management&Itemid=2393
Here’s another scam you could totally pull off in that costume:
You go out and get a sandwich or a nice steak or something. Maybe a big plate of pasta. Then, when they bring the bill, instead of paying you just take out your gun and shoot someone. (If you don’t want to commit murder you can shoot into the air or shoot a chair cushion or something, but it’s critical that you fire your gun.) Then you just take off, and on your way out the door when they ask, with dumbfounded looks, “Hey, what the… ?” You say, “I’m a panda. Look it up.” So they’ll find an encyclopedia or take out their smart phones or whatever and Google pandas, and it will say “Asian mammal. Eats shoots and leaves.” Get it?
I think it’s an infallible plan.
Personally, I believe this would suit your complexion more.
http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Random/hot_squirrel_costume.jpg
The ball sack would be perfect to play with in times where you are hit with writers block. Would be perfect in an interview too.
“Do you ever suffer from writer’s block?”
“Sure, but to be frank, a swift tickle of my squirrel balls and I’m as inspired as Shakespeare”.
“Err… ok. Any advice for aspiring writers?”
“Play with your squirrel balls. NEVER fails”.
This would make for an awesome furry Holiday party. If you’re in to that whole creepy furry thing.
Vegans ruin everything.
PS. I think you’re right, this could be the secret to unlocking creative writery genius. If you get one and find yourself more inclined to finish your book, then please let me know/lend me yours… But probably not the latter, because, you know, we’re strangers. And also, I live across the pond so it would probably cost you loads to send in the mail. And also it would be weird.
To clarify, please just let me know if dressing like a panda makes you finish your book. Kthxbi.
I can’t help but notice that you can’t count to E. In fact, it distracted me so much I missed the last point entirely and have no idea what a flying squirrel is… :/
You will be happy to know that they have a pocket on the side. 🙂
I bought the dinosaur one and it is sooo comfortable.
“In for a penny, in for a panda.” If that is not a life-changing affirmation then why do I fell compelled to embroider it onto the pillowcases?
SK
I’m a vegan and I’d totally buy your book…especially if you wrote it wearing a panda outfit!
Re: #4 All good until someone pulls out a tranquilizer dart gun. Just sayin’.
Re: Flying squirrel outfit. My husband was very upset they were sold out. That was cool…but the Panda is cool too. Go for it.
Thank you. I scrolled down to the picture and spit Jell-O all over my computer.
Well BALLS. The flying squirrel one is sold out.
Lmao. I love reading your blog posts. Makes me smile
You totally don’t need a gun if you’re like Kung Fu Panda. He knew the Wushi Finger Hold. “The hardest part is cleaning up afterward.”
Did someone buy you that yet? It’s really pretty awesome!
Awesome. I want one, I want one!!!!
I will leave the designer suit at home and wear that damn thing to work, bring on the comments and the stares you wannabe’s!!!
I went to the San Diego Zoo, home of several real pandas. That day, it was also home to a fake panda – a very attractive, otherwise normal-looking woman of about 27 who was dressed as a panda, complete with full face paint and an ear headband.
But here’s the thing – SHE WAS NOT FOOLING AROUND. It was not playtime for her. She was deadly serious and did not want to be laughed at, smiled at, talked to, or photographed.
She spent her time in front of the pandas in silent panda communion, soaking in the essence of pandaness, all the while attended to by a thin, nervous-looking boyfriend (not in panda attire). You could tell he Knew The Rules of panda day, and he was gingerly avoiding making a mistake that would set Panda Girl off, or otherwise ruin her panda experience.
So my warning is not to muck around with dressing like a panda in jest. Because Panda Girl has people, and they might find you.
Last night I watched the True Grit remake. *SPOILER* There was one scene where a drunk guy rode up on a horse dressed in a bear*. I totally thought of you. Because he was drunk and in a bear. I don’t know how you feel about horses.
*The drunk guy was dressed in the bear, not the horse. I realize that the wording was ambiguous there.
OK it has to be said. That panda is fucking sexy. And I just became a little creepy.
Really. You must get this and post pics on the net so I can have inappropriate thoughts about you. Sorry Victor. Fuck. Now I’m creepy and persistant. I think that officially makes me a stalker.
That panda outfit makes anything from Victoria’s Secret look totally un-sexy!
Um the flying squirrel is sold out. This makes me VERY nervous.
I believe that model is also in a tampon commercial…which I’m sure makes her parents proud because Toxic Shock and Panda Welfare seem to be pretty important global issues these days. She’s like Katie Couric, but OBVIOUSLY more fun, because chick can party in a panda suit.
I bought these for my little cousins for Christmas! I bought the flying squirrel and the hamster. It was amazing. I really want the Flying Squirrel or the Kangaroo – my husband thinks I’m nuts.
How many adults need to be into wearing Flying Squirrel pajamas before an online store sells out of them???
I blame the Furries!!
Oh my god. Jenny. So I was just watching TLC’s new show “My Strange Addiction” and I saw a promo for this:
Episode 7
Name: Lauren A.
Addiction: Wearing a fur suit
“Lauren can’t imagine going to a party or social event without wearing her fur suit. She’s completely dedicated to her ‘fursona’ — designing and sewing her costume well into the night, it even takes priority to finding a job.”
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/my-strange-addiction/episode-guide-13.html
We don’t have aproblem, do we?
this may look cute, but seriously Jenny it’s not practical, it has no FUCKING FOOTIES. we would have to buy you black socks too.
So did you get one at all??!!
I totally did.
In theory, this needs a flap in the back; in reality, you have enough room in there to carry your own Porta-Potty. Down here in rural Georgia, where jobs often are third shift, it’s an everyday occurrence to see people in PJ bottoms at the store. I may invite you here just to wear this set around town, while I sneak along with a camera.
And, folks–heroin makes its recipient zombie out, pass out, and then sleep or die. A kitty on heroin is a kitty asleep. You heard it from an addict’s stepdaughter, who has Seen It All.
I need a panda suit so I can rob liquor…I mean write well. Yes, I only want to write well- robbing liquor stores Never entered my mind. Ever. *wink* *wink*
Now I want one, actually 2, because all that everyday wear will get tricky with keeping them clean. I am putting way too much thought into this, which further demonstrates that I need 2.
this may look cute, but seriously Jenny it’s not practical, it has no FUCKING FOOTIES. we would have to buy you black socks too.
Woah robbing a liquor store in a panda suit?? lol
I found a couple of other sites that seem to sell similar costumes – http://kigurumi-shop.com/ and http://kigu.co.uk/
Interesting how everyone has a different name for them.
I tried to find the website that sells these things again, and when I typed in the address, I found that they now sell dog and cat wigs/costumes. Coincidence? I think not!
http://www.evangelicalassociation.ca