In case you missed it this week, Charlie Sheen has gone totally fucking bananners. Normally I try not to laugh at crazy people but he really seems to be enjoying his bizarre ego-maniacal rants lately so I feel justified in enjoying them as well. In fact, my friend Jenny Grace sent me a page that combines your mad-libs with some of Charlie’s recent rants and it’s kind of awesome. Here’s mine:
I called my sister and screamed the whole thing on her voicemail with no explanation whatsoever. Five bucks says she never even mentions it.
UPDATE: My sister just called me back and asked if I was suffering from smoke inhalation, which I assumed was some sort of insult. Then she informed me that Texas has been on fire for days and I was all “Texas is on fire? But that’s where I keep all my stuff”. Then she accused me of never knowing what’s going on in the world and I pointed out that if it was really serious they probably would have mentioned it on the Oscars. Then she hung up on me. Charlie Sheen would never put up with this bullshit.