Conversation I had this morning with my husband:
Victor: What are you doing?
me: I’m photo-shopping my picture to see what I’ll look like when I get turned into a werewolf.
me: I mean “if”. If I get turned into a werewolf. Turns out? Not such a bad look for me. Way better than zombie-me. Which is sort of surprising because I made zombie-me slightly emaciated and I thought I’d look better because I’d finally lose some weight but it’s sort of the least flattering look. Which is why I’m gonna need you to shoot me in the face when I get turned into a zombie.
Victor: You want me to shoot you in the face when you get turned into a zombie…because you have self-esteem issues?
me: See, it sounds stupid when you say it. Ooh! You know which look I can totally pull off though? Mentally unhinged manic-depressive vampire crying tears of blood.
Victor: You planning on getting any real work done today?
me: This is part of my real work. It’s how I unwind between projects. This what I do instead of heroin.
Victor: THIS IS WHY YOU CAN’T MEET YOUR DEADLINES.
me: THIS IS WHY I MADE THEM PUT A DOOR ON MY OFFICE.
Victor: YOUR DOOR IS WIDE-ASS-OPEN.
me: WELL, IT’S IMPLIED THAT IT’S CLOSED.
Victor: DOORS CAN’T IMPLY ANYTHING.
me: MY DOOR IS CLOSED TO EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T APPRECIATE HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE A WEREWOLF EVEN WHEN YOU DO HAVE PRESSING DEADLINES.
Then Victor went off on a rant about how this is the exact reason why I shouldn’t work from home and I agree but probably for different reasons.
PS. Original picture by my sweet friend Karen Walrond who probably does not appreciate this travesty one bit.