I got a form-letter pitch yesterday from Imperial Sugar asking me to submit a limerick about their company. The winner gets an IPad.
There once was a girl from Nantucket,
Who bought Imperial Sugar by the bucket.
She scarfed candies and sweeties,
‘Til she got diabetes.
Then she lost both her legs and said, “Fuck it”.
No response. I can only assume my iPad is on the way.
UPDATED: Just a quick clarification. I’ve had a few angry Type 1 diabetics who are not happy that I’m spreading the myth that sugar causes diabetes. It doesn’t, and I know that because Type 2 diabetes (with associated comas and amputations) runs in my family and my doctor reminds me constantly that my poor diet greatly increases the risks of me getting it. Poor diet = eating barrels of sugar. These jokes are much funnier when I don’t have to explain them.