I can only assume they’ve never read my blog before.

I got a form-letter pitch yesterday from Imperial Sugar asking me to submit a limerick about their company.  The winner gets an IPad.

My entry:

There once was a girl from Nantucket,
Who bought Imperial Sugar by the bucket.
She scarfed candies and sweeties,
‘Til she got diabetes.
Then she lost both her legs and said, “Fuck it”.

No response.  I can only assume my iPad is on the way.

UPDATED:  Just a quick clarification.  I’ve had a few angry Type 1 diabetics who are not happy that I’m spreading the myth that sugar causes diabetes.  It doesn’t, and I know that because Type 2 diabetes (with associated comas and amputations) runs in my family and my doctor reminds me constantly that my poor diet greatly increases the risks of me getting it.  Poor diet = eating barrels of sugar.  These jokes are much funnier when I don’t have to explain them.

375 thoughts on “I can only assume they’ve never read my blog before.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I would send you an iPad if I had one! Hahaha! That was a great Limerick, and Im Irish so I know a good limerick!

  2. I can only shake my head and relate.

    I got an inquiry from a children’s book author. Who wants to feature me on a site that promotes…children’s books. I can only assume they have never read my blog.

  3. I think there is no genuine reason why this should not win. Where is the vote link? Cause you KNOW you’ll have over 500 votes in a matter of seconds

  4. Now I know what I’m going to put on my kid’s Valentine’s Day cards. With proper credit, of course.

  5. There once was a pitch from a rep
    Who thought himself bloggishly hep
    “Our sugar, be eatin’,”
    Said Jenny “Wil Wheaton!”
    And sent him a picture of the aformentioned Wil Wheaton collating paper.

  6. I would buy you an iPad for that entry! But then I’d just end up keeping it for myself.

  7. it’s like in Anne of Avonlea when Diana changes Anne’s story to win the flour sponsored writing contest. Awwww, Diana was kind of a dumb bitch, but much love, much love to her all the same.

  8. Hell, with a limerick like that, they’ll be selling sugar by the boatload. They’ll probably send you a dozen iPads for your genius.

  9. This is disgusting. You do not get diabetes from eating sugar and you do not lose your legs from being diabetic and having sugar either. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

    A pissed off Type 1 diabetic

    (Dear pissed-off Type 1 diabetic ~ I am continually ashamed of myself so today is no different. Type 2 diabetes runs in my family so I’m well aware that sugar doesn’t cause it, but (as I am told by my doctor at every visit) poor diet and excessive body weight greatly increases your risk of type 2 diabetes. Eating sugar by the barrel would be an example of poor diet. These jokes are much funnier when I don’t have to explain them. If it makes you feel any better, you can make as many cracks about me being mostly wheelchair bound because of my arthritis as you want and I promise to not make you explain any of them. Also, apologize if I hurt your feelings. This a humor blog and it’s not for everyone. ~ Jenny, the bloggess)

  10. You are BEYOND funny!!!
    I’m prepared to go out and buy you an iPad …but I’m sure you’ll be getting one and then you’ll have one and I wont and then I’d have iPad envy …so now I must just think about this all for a bit. But really…you could do your own stand up show!!

  11. There still lives a girl down in Texas
    Whose blog cracks up both of the sexes.
    Her mind isn’t right,
    But although she’s so white,
    She still can tell what good Tex-Mex is.

    OK, so that was the lamest limerick of all time. Give me a break. I’m not a professional nutjob.

    But know what? You got a mention on Twitter from Jeri Ryan!

  12. There once was a girl from China who got a popsicle stuck up her vagina….
    can’t remember the rest but this ain’t a test
    love your site bloggess you da bombest

  13. No wonder I didn’t get my iPad.

    A man bought Imperial Sugar
    to put on his quite bitter booger.
    He said with a grin
    with it stuck to his chin,
    “Should have spent the 5 bucks on a hooker.”

  14. All limericks make me think of one of the funniest jokes I’ve ever heard. The whole joke is about a limerick contest. The punch line is “and they fucked in a river of shit”.

  15. Not nearly as funny as yours or Backpacking Dad’s:

    As a young kid I asked for Imperial
    To heap tablespoons onto my cereal
    A healthy bran mix
    That tasted like sticks
    Til the sucrose made it rather ethereal

  16. I don’t see why they wouldn’t send you the IPad. They probably want to send you 2 IPads for originality and best use of a curse word in advertising.

  17. There once was a Bloggess, forsooth:
    Who perpetuated lies and untruths.
    She said sugar and sweets
    Would cause diabetes:
    So she faces the wrath of the group.

    Congrats on helping to spread the MYTH that sugar causes diabetes. I’m the mom of a type 1 diabetic, and sugar did not cause her condition. Your limerick is tasteless, crude and a complete lie.

  18. Bahahha! See, I would’ve gotten stuck thinking “damn….I *gotta* write something in this limerick about diabetes, but what in the sam hell rhymes with diabetes???” SWEETIES. Of course. You deserve the Nobel in Literature.

  19. I am appaulled that anyone finds humor in this. As the mother of a child with type 1 diabetes I am disgusted. Type 1 is an autoimmune disease it is NOT caused by candy or any other outside source. The body simply turns on itself.

    While it is true that some with type 2 diabetes, may have had the cause of diet or obesity it is NOT true for all. It is also a genetic and metablic disorder.

    This “poem” spreads lies, hate and degrades our community with myths and sterotypes. If that was your plan then well done.

  20. Is the iPad really worth it? I mean everyone is giving these away….I already have a a computer and a Kindle, and a phone not that the iPad can make phone calls. Do I really need an iPad? just a thought. But a great poem anyway

  21. The “Previous Entries” link from the main page is taking me back to July (a la Eric Northman). I know it’s skipping a bunch of posts. Is there another way to go through them? I was looking for a link you put up a few posts back.

    (Click on archives. I think that works. ~ Jenny)

  22. No need to contact you when you are the only obvious winner! I’m sure it will arrive soon.

    Hey, I bet if you submitted it to that poetry dot com , they would snatch it up in a heart beat, and showcase it in one of their books! (if you buy one) You can win an iPod there too, aparently. (probably for an additional fee)

    Personally, I love it. If I had an iPod I would so send it to you. I owe you that much for keeping my spirits up durring the tough times. Thank you. :0)

  23. Glad to see you are feeling better, Jenny. You’re still on top of your game!

    . . .and I’d so buy that sugar if I saw that.

  24. Note to all SERIOUS Poets: Please please PLEASE do NOT post your poems there. Not a legit site. I posted #76 being a snarky butt. Don’t want anyone to take it as truth and get scammed. I would feel horrible. Pretty sure everyone that reads and response here probably would fall for such a thing. But just to be safe….

  25. Ok, that should have read “Pretty sure everyone that reads and responses here probably WOULD NOT fall for such a thing.”

    Sorry.

    I will stop posting now. ‘0(

  26. Eh. My husband is a Type 2 diabetic – he’s a skinny Indian guy who was simply dealt a crappy set of genes. And yes, I’ve had to counter the Sugar Myth quite frequently.

    Still, I was NOT offended.

    As you were….

  27. huh – I thought you had an ipad. I hope you donate your winnings to a worthy cause, like perhaps the earthquake victims of today.

  28. I guess there’s a lot of misguided “oh your child has diabetes because you fed him/her too much sugar” out there, and that must be pretty tough to deal with. Double-hurt from having a kid with diabetes (friend of mine suffered from this in school and it’s a god-awful thing to have, and to parent) while also feeling like you’re being judged.

    That being said, dear “Mother of a type 1” – there is also adult onset diabetes which definitely *has* sugar as a factor, either directly or through weight gain and lack of exercise. And if a limerick doesn’t make clear the distinction, maybe cut it a bit of slack.

  29. Sigh… People who get upset on your blog should read beyond the first post. Good Lord.

    Also, it is pretty clear that being overweight CAN CAUSE Type 2 Diabetes. That isn’t really an argument, is it? Really? I saw no where in Jenny’s post that she was targeting Type 1 people or making fun of them. AND! As a person who loves several diabetics, they ARE AT RISK of poor circulation which could then end up in amputation!!

    I see no issue with Jenny’s limerick.

  30. I’m not sure why people come to a humour blog if they aren’t prepared to see the humour. Comedy and comedy writing is supposed to push boundaries and not stay in a safe place all the time. If you spend your life looking to feel offended you will find it on every corner of life. And especially when Bloggess has a medical condition of her own and still manages to look at life from all angles…give her a break.

  31. You are right. Comedy is doing what it takes to get people to laugh. There are no rules saying you have to sugar coat anything. (pun-intended). Keep rocking it out!

  32. Type-2 here. Not offended in the least. Anonymous Type-1 commenters need to take the Popsicles out of their vaginas.

    Unless that’s what they’re into, in which case I can’t fault them for doing that.

    Bagels make my glucose shoot sky-high. They’re like a carb bomb. A delicious carb bomb.

  33. My nine month old looked at me, wondering why I was laughing so loud. Thankfully the four year old wasn’t awakened from her nap. The people who got offended by your limerick are the reason limericks were invented. 😛 But really, if anyone did actually eat that much sugar even if it didn’t help their body develop the Type 2 diabetes they were genetically predisposed to it would probably do something else horrible to their bodies, maybe create Type 99 diabetes or something… Great limerick and great site. I hope you get your iPad soon.

  34. Oh come on people. If you are relying on the Bloggess for your accurate medical knowledge then you are already fucked. Also, it’s a limerick… not exactly well known for it’s educational prowess.

    If the ipad isn’t already in the mail I vote that get on it asap LOL

  35. @mom of a type 1, Ann Onimous, & Anon (A pissed off Type 1 diabetic)

    There once were three butthurt bloggers
    Who were uptight, butthurt knobbers.
    Cacti was up their asses
    Causing misfired synapses
    And developing senses of humor improper.

    Translation: I find your lack of a sense of humor disturbing. Please proceed to pull the cactus out of your colons and get a damn grip. It’s a fucking humor blog, you uptight strumpets.

  36. Holy Bat Droppings…. The stir you created is almost as good… no wait…. seriously better than that little spat between Anthony Bourdain and Paula Deen (read: Butter goes against “Eat a Damn Hamburger already”) when B-Dawg in his disgustingly sexy “I’ve eaten more weird shit than Boy George” voice tells the Queen of Oleo that she’s evil and the worst most dangerous person in America. I think I loved her response more when she just calls him a jerk. Who knew a silly limerick which was so totally awesome I think I might need to change my pants, would pull the haters from their slumber.

    Do you think Victor would be ok with letting you come live with me? Seriously my hubs wouldn’t mind.

  37. Man, what the fuck ever, bitchy anons. I’ve got the ‘beetus and I still thought this limerick was hilarious.

  38. It’s insane how people come to a blog and get so upset. It’s satire, it’s supposed to be a joke. If you take every joke seriously your life must be super miserable.

    THANK YOU, Jenny for keeping the rest of us, normal sane people, amused and giggling. I hope you’re feeling better. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself after every little joke. If they don’t like it, they can go elsewhere!

  39. My husband is a Type I diabetic. I read him this and he laughed his butt off. *shrug* to each their own?

  40. Geez people. I’m a diabetic and I laughed my ass off. I have yet to ever read any high literary, technically acurate limericks and if other people are trying to find those (here?), they deserve to be disappointed. Not outraged, just disappointed. Because they are idiots.

    It was awesome, Jenny. Made of pure awesome. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

  41. Here in the South, people with diabetes are prone to making the statement “I got the Sugar!” Now, myth or not, it’s reality here. Now, if the line was ’til she got Type 1 diabetes, then you uptight moms of kids with “the Sugar” might have a case. In any case, moms of kids with special needs need to lighten up and have a good laugh from time to time — I know, cause 2/3 of my offspring have special needs.

  42. I don’t know why I do this to myself when reading your blog.
    I know better.
    I always get a few lines in and then the need for a beverage to quench the thirst arises, so I non-chalantly grab my water, sans removing my eyes from your text, take a large swallow of said water and then READ THE FUNNIEST part of the flipping post, nearly causing my water to shoot out my nose!
    {Shaking head}…happens EVERY time!

  43. Apparently, Type 1 diabetes is not caused by an intake of sugar, but a symptom appears to be a lack of a sense of humor. Geez. It’s not like you wrote a limerick intended for JAMA or WebMD.

  44. Jenny, I was asked to deliver a letter to you. It reads:

    “Dear “The Bloggess”,

    I and everyone else who has Type 1 diabetes is appalled to learn that you are talking about Type 1 diabetes in a limerick. Specifically, we think it is horrific that you would say about Type 1 diabetes, and I quote….um….hang on, I had the quote here a second ago. Well, regardless…we have it on good authority from the High Fructose Corn Syrup people (who are also outraged by your mention of them in the limerick) that your essay on Type 1 Diabetes had no footnotes to scientific studies whatsoever. How dare you call yourself a doctor.

    Sincerely,

    The Coalition of Angry Anonymous People Who Failed at Reading Comprehension”

    I think they have a point.

  45. What a sweet Bloggess you are, explaining your joke to the permanently offended and apologizing for their upset. I’m not always good at remembering this for myself when I’ve inadvertently offended, but one of my favorite lines from a friend is, “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”. Given that every one of us probably has some issue to deal with that others don’t “get”, everybody needs to think “benefit of the doubt” and get over themselves. Me included. Keep on rockin’, sistah.

  46. Yeah…my grandma’s diabetes got insanely bad when, get this, she basically ate nothing but sugar food and bacon grease (no lying). In fact, she ended up with both of her legs cut off because if it. Hmmm, sounds like everything in the poem was actually true to a set of people. My gosh, grow up and get over yourselfs annons, imagine this post is not actually about YOU.

  47. Cor, absolutely FRILLIANT, love.

    Also, you can please some of the people some of the time…the rest have no fracking sense of humor.

    SRSLY.

  48. Being that rheumatoid arthritis is also an autoimmune disease, I guess I wonder if that’s something to joke about too? I would not, but I guess that’s why you have a blog with lots of readers and I don’t.

    Good for those of you who “get the joke” and find no problem with misinformation. Perhaps the clarification should have somehow been worked in, because there is quite the difference between Type 1 and Type 2. I’d take Type 2 for my child any day over the Type 1 he was diagnosed with in December last year. It sucks so hard I can’t even tell you. But nothing about it is funny, and I can have a pretty irreverent sense of humor.

    I laugh my ass off at most of Jenny’s posts, the ones I’ve read anyway. I bought a chicken key chain! But sorry, this one – I can’t laugh.

  49. Jenny’s humor some just never get
    And it gets them so very upset.
    To reply they’re compelled,
    To kvetch and to kvell:
    “Someone is wrong on the Internet!”

  50. Wow. As someone who does not have diabetes, I’m actually offended that people were offended at your limerick. It’s very disappointing.

  51. Seriously? It was funny! Those that are offended need to take the stick from their asses and relax.

  52. It’s not so much that I don’t understand a joke or appreciate the effort it took to compose a limerick, it’s the fact that almost every day someone asks me if I am “allowed to eat that”, no matter what I am actually eating.

    The only thing I knew about Type 1 diabetes before I was diagnosed was from the movie Steel Magnolias (which is a horrible example, btw). Now there is a large (and growing daily) group of people with diabetes involved in social media helping people get a better understanding of what it is like to actually live with it.

    Now excuse me as I eat my sugar cookies, coated in powdered sugar, drizzled with chocolate, and covered in ice cream.

    I hope you win the iPad.

  53. I’m offended that some people don’t seem to get that this is a HUMOR blog. Jesus. Pull the stick out of your ass and lighten the fuck up already. mom of a type 1, Ann Onimous, & Anon (A pissed off Type 1 diabetic), I’m talking to you!

  54. My step-dad has type 2 diabeetus and has lost toes. While poor diet in general can contribute you cannot tell me that his INSANE Pepsi habit had nothing to do with it whatsoever. Well you can, but I’ll laugh at you.

    Love you & your limerick, Jenny. (And BackPackingDad too, in a lesser way.)

    I’d just like to throw out there that I have a son with Down syndrome and am a big supporter of the End the R-word campaign, so that would be the button you could push to see if I truly love you or if it’s just because you haven’t picked on my pet cause. 😀

  55. Maybe they would have been less offended if you’d spelled it “diabetus” instead. If you talk like Wilford Brimley, you’re less likely to be offensive. Lesson learned.

  56. You may or may not get an iPad, but you definitely got an iPeed (from me. I really must start getting to the bathroom more often.)

  57. Dear people with type 1 diabetes with no sense of humor: learn to count past 1.

    Bloggess, brilliant, as usual.

  58. I love you people. Seriously. Both the unoffended and the offended. You make me laugh and make me think and that’s a good thing. Also, it’s totally okay to be pissed about having to explain the same thing over and over. Personally, I have to explain over and over that this blog is satirical and should not be taken seriously, in spite of the fact that my tagline (“Like Mother Teresa. Only better”) should take care of that. I also have to explain that I’m not elderly every time I tell people I have arthritis and I’ll admit, it gets old. I’m sure that parents having to explain that they didn’t give their children diabetes from feeding them sugar is even more tiring and frustrating, and it’s probably easier to yell at me over the internet than it is to yell at friends and family who continually judge you over something they’re wrong about. I give you full permission to yell at me all you want. (But if you’re going to call me a whore, please spell it correctly. It’s a pet-peeve of mine.) That said, if you’re offended about a limerick you should probably avoid this blog, because this is really small potatoes compared most of the stuff on here.

  59. Your epic ode brought a tear to my eye … you can’t tell me you’re not the reincarnation of Byron, Shelley or Keats

  60. why not write a limerick to the offended? i have one in mind, but i’m struggling with something that rhymes with “idiots”.

  61. Really??? People – it’s a limerick (and a damn good one). Lighten up already.

    If we can’t laugh then what is left? To bitch, cry and moan all the time? Ugh, I’d rather not.

    Come on, Jenny. Keep me laughing.

  62. Well, what do they expect? “Till she got a blood sugar disease” has way too many syllables! It’s a limerick people!

    This lovely post brought to you by my iPad. (Extra power for which is my only concern for the upcoming hurricane – Irene. Candles shmandles!)

  63. I totally read the edit as ‘Type A diabetics’ and was all OMG what a combination Type A personality with diabetes. They would kick diabetes arse.

    I think I just found the cure.

    I am awesome.

  64. Yeah so I am a mom of a Type 1 child with diabetes – and I find this HILARIOUS! It’s humour people – get a clue! Guess what – sugar did not cause my child’s diabetes but it may have caused the dude’s down the street who thought Coke was a food group. Seriously…don’t read The Bloggess if you don’t have a clue.

  65. This is fucking genius, with the added bonus of scaring away the creeper walking past my backyard and trying to peep in the windows with lunatic laughter.

    Kudos to GirltoMom-Heidi for her limerick too…well done lol!

  66. your iPad is waiting at Shakey’s with Nathan Fillion. just saying

    f*** the people who can’t take a joke. what are they doing letting their kids read this blog anyway that their kid would be offended?

    my email isn’t going to show up is it?

  67. Love it!

    I know Type 1 and Type 2 diabetics- yes the disease sucks, but this is a humor blog. If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the damn kitchen.

    I wish I could stay focused long enough to actually blog on my blogs. I’ve failed miserably.

  68. In my professional opinion as a human being, you know you have a good Limerick when:

    A) you start it with “There was a young girl from Nantucket” (there’s no way you can go wrong with the rhymes associated with this

    And

    B) when the limerick involves any form of limb dismemberment. I mean that’s just good sense.

  69. OMG, some people need to get over it. I’m type 1, and I thought you limerick was freaking funny. If I was in charge you would have won.

  70. All I have to say right now is F your awesome and I still haven’t learnt to read your blog at home rather than at work with coffee in my hand.

    My poor screen.

  71. I would have voted for you in a heartbeat… Diabetes isn’t cool. Maybe one day I’ll stop drinking pop. Until then, more walks with the dog to compensate… And no, we’re not stopping for ice cream…

  72. Jenny –
    How DARE you! I am just… ARRGH! After all, there is NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER that oral sex (which we ALL know is you meant when you wrote “scarfing sweeties”) causes diabetes!

    ~EdT.

  73. Oh, and just in case anyone didn’t (or couldn’t) figure this out when reading my last comment (#160): I was not being serious. Seriously. I figure Jenny understood, but some of the rest of you… I’m not so sure.

    Oh, and the popsicle thing, #98? YOU owe me a keyboard. (Again, not serious.)

    ~EdT.

  74. Number 41 who was so offended,
    clearly cannot be defended.
    who knew diabetes
    would cause total brain freezies?
    “Off with her head!” recommended!

    lame…but the best i could do on the fly.

  75. Snorted pepsi out of my nose with that limerick..

    I think that’s a good sign that it was hysterically funny.

    Also – some people need to just take a step back and realize not everything is an insult of some kind. It was a joke.

    M

  76. OMG, Jenny & GirltoMom- Heidi @ 142, LOVE them – your limericks are fanfuckingtastic! sheer genius!

    KB

  77. OMG Leah (#168) has me laughing out loud on the train. She even made me forget for a moment how pissed off I was about the fact that people refuse to believe sugar causes Type 2 Diabetes. Yes, I said “causes.” I have it and I am under no delusions of where I got it. Also, get a sense of humor people, that limmerick was totally funny.

  78. There once was anon from Nantucket
    Who looked at the blog and said fuck it
    I’ll leave a rude comment and run
    Because I’m no fun
    And ’cause I’m a self righteous hag

  79. There once was a hilarious writer on the Net
    Whose site I continually vet
    She makes many laugh, but others get pissy
    I want to tell them, ‘Shut your mouths, you fucking sissys.

  80. Just read this to my parents while we’re at the beach house on vacation… nearly peed myself- had to read it twice I was laughing so hard the first time 🙂 Love your posts!

  81. Really, shouldn’t the people getting offended be people who didn’t get to eat tons of sugary sweeties before losing their legs? I mean… paraplegics around the world are probably feeling cheated…

    it’s humor for a reason.

  82. Clearly you win. They be sweet fools not select it as the best.
    ‘ Course, if you don’t… send them a bucket.

  83. Hi Jenny,
    I’ll be honest, this is the first time I have visited your blog. I found a link to your most recent post on my Facebook feed. I’d be willing to bet it is also one of your shorter posts, which makes it interesting to note that it appears to have generated such a long comments list.

    I am the mother of a five year old little girl with type 1 diabetes, diagnosed at the tender age of two. Clearly, you are an intelligent woman who writes a popular blog as you have a whole slew of people, your readership, who have your back. They have fiercely come to your defense when some people took exception to your limerick. And I do have a sense of humor. Really, I do. And I am sane. And I have no stick up my ass (as far as I know). And I can laugh about certain things pertaining to my child’s disease. When you live with a chronic condition every minute of every hour of every day for three an a half years, you learn to laugh about certain stuff.

    Here’s the thing: What we live with? Parent’s of children with type 1 diabetes? It is something that breaks our hearts every single day. We watch our children go through a fuck of a lot. EVERY. DAY. And another part of our heartbreak is worrying about what their futures hold for them. Will they one day need toes or feet removed?…below knee or above knee amputations? Will they go blind? Will they develop hypertension, cardiac or kidney complications and the list goes on. So it is a lot to ask of people who are so emotionally invested in this disease to “lighten up”.

    We also deal with the misinformation and judgement every single day. People asking me if my child drank too much juice as a baby, was overweight, or was given candy. And what is most heartbreaking about that is knowing our children will be out there dealing with this same misinformation and ignorance on their own one day too, much like the adults with diabetes do who took exception to your limerick.

    I know you meant no harm in what you wrote. I don’t think you are a malicious person in the least. From reading a few other posts on your blog, you have your own crosses in life to bear. You’re no stranger to life’s shit piles. And you have chosen humor to deal with it. But what if it was your child with the chronic condition? What if your child had a disease that could do all that stuff I mentioned above and more, even IF you did everything in your power, every single day and night to try to avoid it? Can you honestly say you would have no problem whatsoever with a “harmless” limerick like that?

    Perhaps we are a little hyper-sensitive. But you have no idea the fears we have for our beautiful children’s futures, both near and distant. They are fears that I keep hidden away. To let them exist at the surface would cause me to be a non-productive, despairing mom. I couldn’t function. Your limerick, took my breath away when I first read it. My heart went into my throat. It felt so cold and heartless. It brought to the surface all those fears and what-ifs I have as the mom of a child with this horrible, relentless disease. That, I guess, is my problem. But I think, if people consider this situation in the context of something that brings as much fear and heartbreak to them as my daughter’s diabetes brings to me, people might have more understanding as to why your limerick hit a nerve with some.

    I guess what I am trying to accomplish is an increased awareness. I don’t expect anyone to recant their enjoyment of your limerick. I understand that not everyone has as much sensitivity to the plight of diabetics (both type 1 and 2) as those of us who live with it every day. And I am aware that some people with diabetes enjoy this kind of humor. But there are a great number of us who’s breath is taken away by something this callous – who’s hearts leap into our throats – even when the horrible, frightening reality of what we live with is presented as a “harmless”, clever limerick.

    Thanks for the listen.

    Sincerely,
    Sherry

  84. Sherry,
    Many many of us live the with spectre of diabetes, both type 1 and 2. And many of us have lived with, through, and around other dreadful pieces of life we would prefer not to discuss or belabor. The beauty of Blogess is her total irreverence for all things dread.

    She gives us a moment to laugh at ourselves and with others. I would hope that as the mother of a diabetic child you also teach her to laugh at herself, and the idiocy of others who ask if she had too much juice or chocolate breast milk or diet Coke. Laughter should be one of her best friends, lest the world be overwhelming.

    This is a safe haven for laughter. If you have no wish to laugh with us or at us, then this may not be the optimum place for you. If, on the other hand, you want to read some seriously funny stuff…both blog and comment, join us. It’s a helluva hey!ride.

  85. I’m a girl from Nantucket and I’m offended that you stooped to rhyming Fuck It with Nantucket. There are so many other places with funny names that you could pick on, especially in Texas.
    “There once was a girl from Twitty … and said ‘this is shitty'”

  86. There once was a girl from Can-ada
    Who was really depressed and sad-ada
    Then she read this wee joke
    And laughed till she choked
    And she puked up her beef enchilada

    Love you Jenny. Thanks for always making me feel better.

  87. We knew what you meant. I don’t personally have diabetes, nor does anyone I know or am related to. But if I was related to someone with diabetes who got it from eating barrels of sugar, I’d still think you were fucking hilarious because you’re funny and they’re stupid for eating barrels of sugar.

  88. I thought this was hilarious and I am a Type 1 diabetic. Diabetes sucks but sometimes you just have to laugh at it. Everyone has misconceptions about diabetes. I don’t think this was meant to be an informational poem. An informational poem would go like this:

    My body attacked ’til my islets were done
    That’s when I got diabetes – Type 1
    Insulin is my friend
    Either by pump or by pen
    I shoot up for the carbs in my cinnamon buns

    OK that was pretty horrible. I think you are cool Blogess and it gave me a laugh. Thanks!

  89. Wow…….that’s all I have to say….
    except that…
    Jenny
    you make me laugh
    you make me cry
    I love your realness and your facade.
    Don’t we ALL have our own shit to deal with?
    I personally don’t go searching around to find blogs that offend my particular issue so I can attempt to persuade others that my issue is more important than theirs.
    You can offend such a wide span of people and animals, plant life, etc. at any given time. I love your humor and your view. That is why I pay attention to your blog and look forward to being offended again and again.
    Thank you.

  90. Oh Jenny… Bless you for being gracious and putting up with these people who can’t take a joke and then criticize you unfairly. I wish I could give you a big hug and then go hunting in antique shops for strange taxidermied animals. You always make my day with your humor and I know you make a lot of people laugh when there’s not so much to laugh about in their lives. Keep on dishing out the good stuff, including limericks about diseases and dismemberments. You rock.

  91. Sherry, (#185)

    You did raise awareness with your comment for me. Being silly and sometimes inappropriate has helped many of us survive through really dark shit. I see personal blogs as someone’s house- this is Jenny’s house and you can not visit or not put in the URL. Just my humble opinion and love and hugs to you (sincerely).

  92. I’m just really upset about something and need to clarify something else and would like to explain to you that your blog represents some awful things that I need to spend the next hour agonizing over a response to and blah blah blah blah blah. People are so weird.

  93. When I hear “limerick,” the first thing I think is “There once was a man/girl from Nantucket . . .” I can’t be the only one.

    Your poem reminds me of a college class I took on women in literature. The entirety of my notes for a 3 hour lecture read:

    There once was a woman named Alice
    Who viewed men with considerable malice.
    One day she said, “Fuck it,”
    And moved to Nantucket
    Where she admitted a dog, but no phallus.

    Clearly they were good notes because I still remember them. Of course, I can’t remember who the author was. Pretty sure her name was Alice though.

  94. Just thought I’d pipe up and tell you that I am a type 1 diabetic and found this hilarious.
    Don’t let all the other type 1-ers out there get to you.
    They’re all just feeling sorry for themselves.

  95. Jenny,

    Sugar and blogs should be serious stuff
    And it’s just “mean” to write silly fluff
    So some folks diabectic*
    Became apoplectic
    But most folks can’t love you enough.

    There is some ugly scary shit out there in the world, and if you can’t laugh and mock it, then you’ve already lost. People have gotten to be so cravenly politically correct that they wouldn’t recognize a joke if it was painted fuchsia, wearing a tea cozy and cape, dancing in the rain. Besides, it’s not like you were even making fun of people. You were making fun of the some lame-ass no talent hack marketing executive that has decided that instead of DOING HIS/HER JOB and coming up with a successful ad campaign (or hiring a competent staff), he/she is going to try to outsource all of the actual work to others who he/she expects to work FOR FREE in exchange for maybe getting some trinket that probably doesn’t even cost 10% of the bonus that the company is going to pay out to that marketing exec for selling a shit ton of product. Seriously folks. This deserves to be mocked.

    *Spelled wrong on purpose. It’s really hard to rhyme apoplectic.

  96. I thought the limerick was hilarious but I can understand why some people would get their panties in a twist about it.

    We all have our blind spots where a sense of humor is utterly lacking for whatever reason. I’ve had to catch myself at times on certain subjects and remind myself to relax and laugh.

  97. I have an entirely-too-strong fondness for sugar, I’m overweight, and I have diabetes. Gee, I wonder if there’s a connection? Nahhhhh……..
    I also have a sense of humor and enjoy laughing in spite of my “issues”.
    So Jenny, keep up the limericking.
    (I once heard a girl with Tourette’s Syndrome laughing at her tics. When asked why she was “making fun” of such a serious thing, she confidently said: “It’s not like I LOVE having Tourette’s. But it’s who I am. If I laugh along with it, it doesn’t seem so bad and makes everyone else more comfortable too. It’s okay if people laugh at my tics.”)
    Don’t be afraid to make light of dark topics. The world can be too depressing at times as it is.

  98. You made this diabetic and her mom laugh.
    To the moms or type 1 diabetics who were offended because of people’s misconceptions about how one gets type 1 diabetes: why on earth would you care about what someone who is obviously an uneducated moron thinks? Sounds like a good excuse to get that ignoramus out of your life.

  99. That’s awesome! The people at Imperial Sugar are *obviously* so perplexed by your jingle (in a good way) they’re telling all of the LOSERS that they’ve lost before they tell you about your shiny new iPad.

    By the way, you can tell all of the angry diabetics out there to suck my dead pancreas. I’ve lived with type 1 since I was 9, and if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? I mean, sure, there will ALWAYS be republicans and Catholics, but other than that, you’ve got to laugh at yourself.

    🙂

  100. I have a few people with type 2 in my family and I personally think this post (as well as everything else you do) is hilarious. Apparently not being able to get your humor is a side effect of type 1.

  101. All of you people out there getting butt hurt over this need to back the hell off! Its Jenny, she’s hilarious. This blog is not some nice safe fluffy ride at disney world, its kind of the 12th circle of hell for the easily offended. So get some aloe for your butt hurt wounds and show yourselves to the nearest exit. We love you Jenny, please always stay slightly off, its what brings us awesome people back to you over and over again. PS I bought my boyfriend a giant chicken for his 30th birthday (its a surprise so I’m only sharing it with you and everyone who reads the comment, so shhhhh) because your awesomeness is like herpes, highly contagious and meant to be shared with everyone. Also some people occasionally get pissed at its discovery. Who knew.

  102. Laughter is the best medicine, yo.

    In the midst of my Great Anti-Anti-Depressant-Experiment of 2011 (don’t try this at home, people) I have found that I can always count on you (and your archives) for a pick-me-up.

    Thanks, Jenny.

  103. once, a Bloggess so offensive
    wrote a limmerick humor-intensive
    some don’t get your jokes
    but the rest of us folks
    want to buy you new iPads expensive

    yeah, i know. it’s a stretch. but who can compete with the likes of backpacking dad? and leah, #168…i almost cried, i was laughing so hard

  104. Wow!! I laughed so hard my stomach hurts! Then I read your response at the end to the pissed off diabetics. Seriously?! I’m type 1. I have been for 17 years. It’s a part of my daily life. My children and husband have rescued me from lows and told me to take insulin when I’m high. You know what? I live with it the same way you live with your chronic pain. I laugh! It’s life! Good grief people! Yeah, it sucks. But you don’t beat back the pain and move on with life by obsessing over stuff you can’t change! The people, with the exception of the one mother who actually ‘spoke’ to you instead of attacking, who have decided you are a horrible person are more closed minded and vicious than they accuse you of being. Thank you Jenny for the laugh! You never fail to make me smile (or laugh till I cry)!

  105. I’m curious as to why people suffering from syphilis didn’t comment about your post on Copernicus. Is it because a semi-faced taxidermied monkey does smell like syphilis?

  106. Jenny, simply amazing stuff. I’d give you the ipad if I had one to give! (and, to Backpacking Dad for post #27, omg, awesome stuff! lol.)

    <3 Meg, the 41 year old, overweight, type 2 diabetic.

  107. Dear pissed off Type 1 Diabetics,

    You are not what most people think of when Diabetes is mentioned, sorry. Most people think of Type II Diabetes which is caused poor eating habits, namely the overeating of carbohydrates of which sugar is a primary source.

    KTHXBYE,
    David

  108. My step father has lost half of one leg and a foot due to Diabetes. He eats loads of crap = barrels of sugar. This post = true, hence funny. Because it’s true.

  109. Your update reminds me of a girl I knew. She had diabetes so bad she had a permanent pump attached intraveneously. Every time I saw her she was drunk at the bar and complaining out loud that she didn’t understand why she couldn’t get her diabetes under control. Huh. She also had a butterfly tattoo on her hoo-ha and liked to whip it out at the bar and show people. That’s something you don’t forget.

  110. My grandfather has Type 2. He lost both legs. We give him socks for Christmas.

    If you can’t laugh at other people, who can you laugh at?

  111. Jeez. Sherry, I understand you being upset for your child, but this is a humor blog. It was clear to me that she was talking about type 2 diabetes and not type 1. If there are uneducated people out there that think they are the same, then you can educate them as they come up in life, but there are uneducated people in all spectrums of life, not just diabetes, and you should really lighten up. Having a type 1 diabetic sister, I understand how scary the disease can be, but of all of the things and diseases your child could have, maybe you should be greatful that she has diabetes, and not brain cancer or a million other diseases/conditions that are undisputedly worse. That being said, I would take diabetes over rheumatoid arthritis ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. So, if she can laugh at herself, maybe you should learn to laugh too, and for that matter teach your daughter to not get so sensitive either, which will just set her up for a painful future.

  112. Next time please warn us that this post will cause us to laugh out loud at work. I almost snorted hot tea out of my nose onto my computer keyboard. Way to go, Jenny! Thanks for a much-needed Tuesday laugh.

  113. Dear Bloggess,
    I am not a crusader, but because of your recent post about RA I’d like to make you aware (if you aren’t already) of a book titled “The Paleo Solution” by Robb Wolf (no relation, I swear). My husband’s diabetes (type 2) and RA are now mostly under control since we started following the plan 8 weeks ago. He has some residual joint pain in his fingers only and is no longer taking his RA or diabetic medications. The joint pain is now nearly gone since he started taking probiotics and apple cider vinegar for candidaiasis. One thing is sure, it can’t hurt to try it.
    I actually hate giving unsolicited advice to folks I’ve never met, and I know some will scoff at this. If it helps, I’m an RN. Good luck! Lovelovelove your blog!

  114. My fave quote: “Laughter is the jam on the toast of life; it adds flavor, makes it easier to swallow, & keeps it from being too dry.” – Anonymous

    My family has diabetes. Almost everyone in it has Type 1 or Type 2 or borderline. My thought is this: You get one chance at life. You can worry yourself all the time, take it too seriously, and you still end up dead. There is no other result. You ALWAYS DIE! So, be happy! Laugh at yourself, at your situation. Making yourself upset over a limerick is fucking stupid and a waste of your energy. Spend the time having fun with your child instead of blasting someone for having fun with their life. You choose how to deal with stuff. You can be miserable or you can be happy. You can realize that while having a child with a horrible disease sucks but they at least have a life or you can worry constantly and miss out on giving your child a fun childhood because you took life too seriously. All your kid wants is to be normal, regardless of the disease and you make it worse by not laughing at things. Yes, they have to take their disease seriously, but isn’t that enough? Why do they have to take life so seriously too? Who cares what others think? Why do you have to explain yourself? YOU DON’T! People are dumb, who the hell cares? Live your life to the fullest because you never know how it’s going to end. LAUGH A LOT!

    With that said, LOVE THE LIMERICK! Laughing at yourself and your situation is the best way to get through it. Example: I once had a catheter put in in a Chicago ER with the door open and all sorts of people saw it…I laughed. I didn’t get mad, I was dying (I obviously survived, lol). I could have spent what I thought were my last few moments on earth angry and embarrassed, but I laughed because, damn it, it was fucking hysterical. Who gives someone a catheter with the door open? Can you imagine the people walking by and what they were thinking?

    And I’m off my pedestal 🙂

  115. Jenny,
    You get the votes of the WHOLE secretarial pool in this office.

    Yeah, I’m the only secretary in this office.

    Your Ipad shoud be on it’s way!

  116. what do they expect when they ask you to write a limerick?? notoriously “dirty” rhymes!! example: guy walks into a bar and says let me tell you a joke. about my etchings. want to see them, i’m wearing nothing but a raincoat. that’s the gist of a limerick, eh?

  117. Best limerick ever. And I wouldn’t get into my family history, but I’m sure pretty much every family has had someone in the family tree with either Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes. And the Type 2 is related to diet. This is all moot because the limerick is funny as hell and if you’re reading a poem that starts: “there was a girl from Nantucket” you pretty much should know that rest of it is going to a silly joke.

    Rhyming “Nantucket” with “Fuck it?” THAT’S brilliant.

  118. Assuming your ipad was lost in the mail in route to you, I’m pretty sure you could make some quick cash with a follow up series of limericks about a no-legged, diabetic prostitute.

  119. Come on! Don’t you all know that everything on the internet is true and if you make something up, you are the devil.

    PS if you are getting your medical advice from a limerick, you need to get your head checked. OMG!!!! I’m mocking mentally challenged people! Someone shoot me! OMG, I’m making fun of murder! What is wrong with me?…oh so many things.

  120. I am SO offended.

    Nantucket is a very nice place and not at all full of floozies as most limericks suggest.

    I wish people would think about the second type of girls (non-floozies) that also call Nantucket home when writing these poems.

    Seriously though, cry-larious. People at work have now upgraded me from odd to crazy.

  121. I’m a type one diabetic who thought your limerick was AWESOME. . . .

    Some people need to lighten the f*&k up and get over themselves.

    These are the same people who whine and bitch when the free food at office parties does not fit their dietary needs. ITS FREE FOOD PEOPLE. Eat it or don’t but please god shut the hell up about it.

    Yeah, I’m a little bitter.

  122. omg seriously. people need to chillax a bit and not get soo fucking offended at EVERY. LITTLE. THING.

    also, people like that probably *shouldn’t* be reading your blog :/

  123. My husband died from Type 1 diabetes at the age of 33.

    He would have thought the limerick was hilarious. as I do.

  124. People will laugh at anything, unless it has something to do with something that effects them. Fact is the Limerick was informative and sugar is white death.

    Everyone loves you until your blood pools too close to their feet –

  125. I love your blog! I read your posts to my mom and she laughs so hard tears come out her eyes. We both love your humor! Your limerick should have won, hands down.

  126. Wow, you should offend people more often. Or buy more giant metal chickens. Either way, people go commentapalooza on your ass!! Love it.

    Definitely a future career as a limerick writer. But who will you offend next? A campaign for beef might offend heart attack survivors, a campaign for pie or cake might offend the obese, a campaign for cigarettes will offend those with lung cancer. Hmmm, the possibilities are endless! I am waiting with baited breath . . .

  127. If you haven’t heard back about the iPad by end-of-week, would you consider turning in an extra-credit Haiku? Or perhaps a sonnet? Maybe both? I think you might have another side-career in sugar-laden poetry just waiting to be discovered.

  128. I shot diet Pepsi through my nose after reading your limerick. And I rolled my eyes so damn hard after reading the “anonymous” tirades that I almost had a seizure. Dear Diabetics and Parent of Diabetics and People Who Know Diabetics, SOMETIMES IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. Love, Dani. (A few weeks ago I posted a blog called “Laughing At The Dead” which I thought was friggin’ hilarious but apparently pissed a bunch of people off because, who knew, they know people who have died. And obviously, the blog was all about THEM. I love being Omniscient… isn’t it awesome? )

  129. Lovely! Years and years ago a friend of mine submitted the following to a jingle contest for Pet Milk. He didn’t win, probably due to the judges’ having been bribed by the governor’s brother in law, or something:

    I like Pet Milk best of all.
    No barns to clean, no hay to haul.
    No shit to pitch,
    No tits to twitch:
    Just punch two holes in the son of a bitch.

  130. Well said Dani! JeZus! My boyfriend is type 1… he found that to be a pretty good limerick actually. So PFFFFFT to those who don’t have any sense of humor. Gawd about it.

  131. I have a Bachelor’s in Advertising and half an MBA in Marketing and if Imperial Sugar knows what’s good for them they’ll pick your limerick! People love a good scandal, and a scandal over sugar is delightfully unexpected. Phase 2 will consist of animal skins to get PETA in on the witchhunt too.

  132. Stacey@ #204- Alice B. Toklas, probably. She was Gertrude Stein’s girlfriend, and the subject of Stein’s work The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas. On her own she mostly wrote monographs and cookbooks. Her most famous recipe is pot brownies.

  133. So Im new to reading this….good stuff and funny! All people that don’t have a sense of humor need to chill out, its a joke, learn to laugh, even if its at yourself.

  134. Seriously? You read the blog and laugh at Jenny’s twisted sense of humor and then take offense when it’s a LIMMERICK on Diabetes, but you probably didn’t say a thing when she was abusing the poor metal chicken….

  135. When that iPad gets to you… you need to send it to me because you ruined my laptop when I spit my water out at it from trying to hold in the laughter – it even came out of my nose – THAT HURTS!!

    Screw the people that wrote you nasty letters, what do they know.

  136. I believe the internet, collectively, needs to relax the spincter and take the stick out from its ass. Cheesus.

    #TeamBloggess
    #TeamLimerickIsFuckingFunnySoDealWithIt
    #YesEspeciallyYouEarnest”JustTryingtoRaiseAwareness”People

  137. There once was a lady named Blogess
    Known far and wide for her bluntness
    Some couldn’t take it
    Not having alick of wit
    But the rest of us love you; you’re sumptious!

  138. Dear Parents of Diabetic Children Who are Offended Because They Feel The Limerick in Question Perpetuates Ignorance and Misinformation:

    My oldest child has bipolar disorder. At least that’s his diagnosis, because mental illness isn’t a REAL disease, it’s something I made up so I could drug him into submission and thereby not have to actually pay attention to him.

    Honestly? If I got pissed off every time someone made a bipolar or “crazy people” joke? I’d be pissed off even more than I already am. And that would make my miserable life even more miserable. Which would really suck.

    And for the record? I’d take “ignorance” and “misinformation” any day over STIGMA and DISCRIMINATION.

    So–when a judge can actually remove your child from your custody because s/he thinks you caused your child’s diabetes, or when an insurance company can deny your child’s insulin, or when the State doesn’t consider it medical neglect to NOT give your child insulin, or when your child can be fired from a job or kicked out of school for being diabetic–THEN, I suppose I’ll find your indignation well-deserved.

    Until then–if you don’t like what you see, click that little “x” in the upper right-hand corner of your screen and move on.

    …and for what it’s worth? my mother (who also has tourette’s and likely borderline personality disorder) is Type 2 diabetic, and the cause is rooted in her horrific eating habits and being overweight. Which is why, when I developed gestational diabetes during my 2nd pregnancy, I resolved to get off my fat ass and stop eating candy bars for lunch and breakfast. It worked.

  139. As an Insuli-injection dependent diabetic for the last 25 years. I laughed my ass off.
    And to all those who think this should be taken down, “you don’t cut funny”.

  140. Love you, stalk you all the time. People need to stop using their illnesses and disabilities to throw themselves pity parties and suck all the humor out of life for everyone around them. I ain’t got the Sugar, but I DO have SLE which means my life, much like yours, is racked by constant debilitating pain, kidney failure, liver shutdown, and toxic blood on a regular basis. You know what I do? Laugh, love, and hug my babies a little tighter. It’s life. Love it or leave it.

    And the iPad is totally being fedex’d. You should email him back for your tracking number.

  141. Ok, you have officially stopped my work production for the day. I found this blog through a friend this morning and i have been reading and laughing all day. LOVE IT! You are awesome!

  142. Diabetes isn’t funny. Human pappilaherpesyphilisorhea B is funny. It’s a limerick all by itself. Also, don’t try to snort crushed up Tic Tacs. It won’t make everything smell better, it’ll just burn like fuck,

  143. Dear Keith (#48), I am both Irish and type 1 diabetic. I’ll let you slide on the popsicle comment, but carb-bombs? Way offensive.

  144. My daughter is diabetic and I’m not offended by your limerick. I actually laughed out loud about it. I am offended by people that think you can’t make jokes about serious issues. I mean what are we supposed to do, cry about it all the time?

  145. I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes 22 years ago, when I was 4. I hate that people think my personal disease was caused by eating too much sugar, and I think the media needs to figure out what the hell they’re talking about.

    However? I laughed my ass off at your limerick. And what I’d like to say to the butthurt moms of diabetic kids: Get the fuck over yourself. You have to deal with your kid’s disease, but YOU are not the ones dealing with it, living with it in your body. If there’s a Type 1 who wants to get all offended about the limerick , that’s one thing. But it seems to me (and I didn’t read all of the comments, so I could have missed something) that it’s the parents of the precious snowflake type 1’s that are all in a tizzy right now.

    Hey moms, guess what? Your kid’s going to be living with this PERSONALLY for the rest of their lives. You’re not. If they can’t laugh at something ridiculous, then they’ve got a long, hard road ahead of them.

    Get over yourselves.

    Love, Me (thus far un-amputated)

  146. I think some people also fail to understand limericks. Specify the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes within a limerick including the title of the sugar and some details still in it and make sure it’s so hilarious you’ll spit last friday’s beverage back out your nose. When and only when you can do that should you consider possibly getting slightly offended. AND THEN if that’s the case I suggest you avoid those whose sense of humor wasn’t surgically removed at birth and/or lost in some terribly tragic accident.

    Life must be terrible without laughter. Do children cry when they look at you too? Or avoid you like the plague?

    Did you know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? Probably also takes a lot of muscles to hold a stick that far in up your backside.

    I feel for you humorless people. Life’s a bitch. Let’s laugh. 😀

  147. I love this. I love this blog. I love Jenny – even more for how nicely you addressed the people who attacked a limerick on your satirical blog. You make me smile every day!

  148. Can you get “LIKE” buttons on the comments here please Jenny… cause I need to “LIKE” several of your supporters. Probably you want to like a bunch too.

  149. What both you and your doctor “know” about diabetes, type 2 diabetes, is wrong. Yeah, doctors are wrong sometimes. Doctors don’t always stay up to date. Doctors sometimes believe what they read on the internet or what they hear other doctors say. Some doctors are stupid.
    Your family members who had comas and amputations, no matter what you told them, or what anyone told you, did not get diabetes from eating sugar.
    You may yet get type 2 diabetes no matter what you eat, just because of your genes.
    Other than the fact that it is based on a misconception, your limerick is kind of amusing. But I’m amused easily, sometimes by stuff that reinforces wrong-headed stereotypes, like racist humor, or your limerick.

  150. They obviously didn’t understand that inserting “type 2” in the diabetes line messes up the rhyme scheme. Fucking philistines. It’s god damn poetry.

  151. LMAO! My grandmother and 3 of her siblings died of Type 2 diabetes complications, and I thought it was hilarious! Glad I wasn’t drinking water at the time, or it would’ve been all over my screen at work. Keep up your irreverence, you’re doing fabulously!

  152. I would like to add to the discussion with the following:
    There once was a woman named Alice
    Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
    They found her vagina down in North Carolina
    And bits of her ass down in Dallas.

    There. Now all the angry diabeetus moms will have to fight it out with Alices and angry North Carolinians to leave chastising comments. No need to thank me.

  153. Yeah… my husband has Type II diabetes.

    I think the limerick is funny. People need to lighten up. Seriously.

  154. Hi read your limmerick shortly after shooting up insulin for my diabetes. I then proceeded to laugh my ass off and read it aloud to my husband. I love medical irreverence!

  155. You’re so lucky… my sister would have been the one to send the message and I would be all, “Hey… could you let Michelle Bachmann know that I’d like to have a word with God, since she’s his PR lacky and all?” And she’d be like, “I’ll pray for you…” and then she’d go serve soup to the homeless or some such shit while I blew the last $200 in my checking account on a fabulous Ed Hardy bag on Zappos and lied to my husband about how I’d had it for YEARS and he just hadn’t noticed. True freaking story.

  156. I really hate it when I accidentally post a comment on the wrong blog entry. I’m pretty sure God is laughing his ass off at me RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

  157. Jennie, I don’t even know what to say. You are so hilarious, and I giggle so much at your posts, that my children are afraid for my emotional health. Because for some reason, they think I’m stalking you, and that there’s something wrong with reading your blog, and the comments…and laughing hysterically. I’m looking to put them in foster care as we speak!

    Love you, love your peeps!! The comments on this blog are pretty hysterical too!

  158. Fuck ’em! It’s still funny! If you’re not gonna use the iPad can you send it my way? I want one REAL BAD!!! 😉

  159. It’s funny until someone says it’s not funny then you have to explain why it’s funny then it’s funny again for all the assholes like me who thought it was funny in the 1st place. It’s a funny circle, jerks.

  160. I can’t help but wonder how many of these angry commenters are coming here because they did a web search for DIABETES SUGAR just so they could combat the myth.

    I think I’ll search for ANGRY DOUCHE and see how many political sites I find.

    (Just found out another sibling has the diabeetus. That’s three of us now.)

  161. I just read the limerick to my mom, she thought it was hilarious. And she was on her way home from a church meeting.

  162. Any diabetic offended by this really needs to get a grip or perhaps go check their blood sugar! Geez!

    I’ve had Type 1 diabetes since the age of 9 (I’m 39 now) and I think it’s hilarious! Probably because my body lacks insulin….not a sense of humor!

    Anyone offended by this can bite my dead pancreas!!

  163. That annoys me so much that people are getting offended by that. A.) it was a limerick “A limerick is a kind of a witty, humorous, or nonsense poem, which is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.”
    B.) the limerick was intended to poke fun at the sugar company, not people with diabetes.
    C.) its is a freaking limerick on a humorous blog, not an article in a news journal. the intention was to be humorous not to be factual and educate the masses, so how can you possibly say it is spreading lies and hate.
    Diabetes has run in my family, both my great grandparents had diabetes, I remember my granny having to avoid sugar as one way to eat healthy, and my granddad lost a leg to diabetes. Yes, we all know sugar doesn’t actually cause diabetes, the same way we know not all blondes are dumb, but we still think the jokes are funny. Everyone needs to lighten up and learn to laugh at yourselves or the stress will kill you.
    I thought it was funny, like everything I read on this blog.

  164. Dear Jerry (comment 291),
    So I can ignore my doctor when she said, “Hey, Sara, poor diet and excess body weight around your waist increase your risk of Type 2 diabetes, and since your grandma had it, you should stop mainlining sugar”? Sweet! Now, where did I hide those Oreos again?

    Dear all of the haters,
    Read the limerick again. Seriously. Does is say, “There once was YOUR SPECIFIC KID from Nantucket…”? No, it doesn’t? Then why did you think this was about you? You’re taking offense to this as if you’re trying to atone for feeding your diabetic kids bucketloads of Imperial Sugar. If you are doing that, you should probably stop. If you’re not, repeat this to yourself: “IT’S NOT ABOUT ME.”

    Dear Jenny,
    I love you in a way that is not entirely healthy. That is all.

    Love, Sara

  165. I was recently siagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I thank you very much for your blog/posts as it is a much needed break from all the studying up on diabetes I’m cramming in each evening. Bravo to you for the diabetes humor! Only a moron would go to a humor blog to find diabetes facts! I LOVE your work!!

  166. Fucking awesome! I come from a family with a strong history of diabetics who would laugh at this… even the dead ones – lighten up people or don’t read this blog and go have a candy bar.

  167. Tears!! That’s awesome. Plus the tears washed the sugar out of my system I think so thank you. Seriously what are people with no sense of humor even doing here?

  168. You are hysterical!!! As a mom of a Type I diabetic I still found it funny! People really should try and see the humor in life and not take everything so fucking seriously! Jeez!!!!

  169. I appreciate Sherry’s at least taking the time to explain her point of view (and use a name), instead of just popping on to have an anonymous snit fit.

    So many points of view; it’s nice to see someone with one that doesn’t necessarily match the general prevailing attitude, that still takes the time and effort to be coherent and thoughtful, instead of just.. shitty.

    Kudos for that!

  170. um I was offended when you wrote about the metal chicken. Cos like um, I am actually a metal chicken and metal chickens don’t say knock knock motherfucker. So yeah.
    Or maybe I’ll just take my stick out of my ass and see the humour for what it is.
    Oh no hang on. That’s the pissed off diabetics who need to do that.

  171. Soooooo I am a type 1, a diabetes nurse educator, and a diabetes blogger extroidinare. I took your post as tongue in cheek (are we making out?) and awkwardly LOLd. Some people take shat too seriously. Don’t get down, I enjoyed your limmerick!!!

  172. Funny. I’m pre-diabetic and have had gestational diabetes twice. My nutritionist, dietitian, and regular family practitioner have ALL told me to cut way back on sweets, as in any sweet fruits or even sweet vegetables, and eliminate refined sugar from my diet, as they will lead me to diabetes for sure. And I happen to know more than one amputee who lost feet or legs to diabetes. Seems the Pissed Off Type 1 Diabetic doesn’t know wtf he’s talking about.

  173. you could change that line to:
    “and got adult diabetes”

    and then the Type Is would have to shut up.

  174. Hey y’all! I’m a diabetic and I don’t take myself too seriously. It’s a hard disease and sometimes it’s just no fun. However, this blog makes me feel great on days when I’m definitely not feeling my best. So thanks! You keep me smiling and laughing! Best cure ever!

    From one Texas girl to another: Keep up the good work!

  175. Jenny – you are too fucking funny.

    To the people that can’t take a joke – please unclench. Or get laid. Or start your own blog to spread the truth about diabetes and commiserate with each other about who has it worst – the 1’s or the 2’s.

    I look forward to reading this blog and the usual funny banter that the commenter’s leave. GTFO if you can’t take a joke.

    Jenny – you are one in a million. Keep it up. Fuck the ones that try to scold you. Or better yet…tell your monkey to go give them especially long hugs. You know – to make sure he finishes the job.

  176. OMG, the limerick was hilarious on it’s own. But the follow-up comments from the mommy mafia add even more hilarity. Keep it up indignant mothers enraged about everything there is to rage about! You women make the world (unintentionally) funny, just by being permanently pissed off about something.

  177. Clearly, diabetes not only takes your legs, but your sense of humor, and your ability to recognize sarcasm. Their lives must truly suck, what with no legs and no laughter.

    Loved the limerick.

  178. As a type 1 diabetic who does, in fact, have a sense of humor, I cannot tell you how disappointed I am with your limerick. From the standpoint of a diabetic who has worked many years in the diabetes education field, there are far too many syllables in the second line. While it is acceptable to vary from the three “feet” of three syllables each in the first, second and fifth lines, the lines should maintain syllabic compatibility with each other, and a variance of 3 syllables in the first two lines is just too great for anyone in the diabetic community to accept. It is clear that the limerick you have composed has an extra “foot” in the second line that should be amputated.

    I understand the reactions of the parents of diabetics to this limerick, as it was so poorly written, it obviously gave their children AIDS. Limericks like this make the baby Jesus cry and cause the untimely death of cherished household pets. Even now my dog of 9 years, Horatio J. HooDoo, lies motionless at my feet. I am told he is napping, but the truth is he would rather brave the great beyond than possibly be subjected to faulty rhyme schemes.

    That being said, I hope you win the iPad. Those things are pretty neat.

  179. Dear StripperGlitter (# 126),

    Being that compulsive exhibitionism is an auto-erotic disease, I guess I wonder if that’s something to joke about, too? I would not, but I guess that’s why you have an internet handle with lots of humor, and I don’t.

    Good for those of you who “get the joke” and find no problem with misogyny. (And, in your case, StripperGlitter, MISO-JENNY.) Perhaps the clarification should have somehow been worked in, because there is quite the difference between Strippers Who Willingly Apply Glitter and Clothing-Deficient-Entertainers-With-Grinding-Compulsion. I’d Take Strippers Who Willingly Apply Glitter for my teenage daughter any day over the Clothing-Deficient-Entertainers-With-Grinding-Compulsion Syndrome she was diagnosed with in February of last year. She sucks so hard I can’t even tell you. But nothing about it is funny, and I have a pretty irrelevant sense of humor.

    Get a grip, StripperGlitter, on something besides your own pole. Demanding a humor writer “work in” clarification on a medical issue in a five-line intentionally bawdy poem is absurd. I am sad your child is ill. I am sad Jenny has RA. I am sad for lots of things. But people like you who do not allow for lapses into irreverence, and the healing power of laughter, make the trip through this life seem like nothing more than a series of over-long spells in a hospital waiting room. And I, for one, look to people like Jenny every day for the cure.

  180. Jenny’s blog isn’t for everyone… but rather than try and bash her on her own blog, why don’t you stop reading and move on when you encounter something offensive??? We all have our battles, and a lot of us come here to have a good laugh. It’s really not as much fun when you have to sort through comments of people getting “real,” when clearly the blog was meant to be humorous. One of the things I love the most about Jenny is that she doesn’t really seem to pay attention to boundaries; this is what makes some of her blogging absolutely hysterical.

    And FYI – If you read Jenny’s blog a little more, you will find that she has her own illness to deal with and yes, from time to time she makes fun of herself. Just a little bit 😉

  181. I’ve been watching this post quite a bit since it went up and I’m sure it has actually caused quite the rush in Jenny’s page hits. Controversy seems to do that. We can’t expect to make all of the people happy all of the time and can only expect that at some point or another I’m going to offend someone myself. I would like to show some respect toward both sides of the argument (objectively, as I personally thought the limerick was hysterical and did not take offense).

    1) To Jenny, for even after seeing how many had been offended, she did not waver in her original post, attempt to take it down, delete it or alter the original wording. She spoke what was on her mind and to the end, stands by it as being what it was, her own mind and meant all in good fun. She was not writing a Public Service Announcement or and educational speech. She made a joke, because that is what she does and why we come here to read. She did not apologize for being herself and nobody should have to, and for that she has my undying respect and admiration.

    2) To Sherry (#185), all I have to say to you is this: if you are going to be offended by something you see and feel compelled to comment that you were offended, everyone could take lessons from you in how to do it. Your response was strong, sincere, non-confrontational and to be honest, kind of ripped my heart out a couple times. You’ve got guts and class, Sherry and I admire you for your response as well. The way many of the other “offendees” responded, they should have let you speak on their behalf and they would have been taken just a little more seriously. By all means, hang around. Jenny’s saved my sanity more times than I can count.

  182. Mom of a Type 1 here…I did not realize I was supposed to be offended. Hold on…trying to become offended. Nope. Not happening.

    Other Type 1 moms…I know it’s hard when all the time we get judged and second-guessed about our kid’s diets…I know it’s hard when we’ve been up three times a night to check blood sugars, but…damn…if we don’t laugh about it, then it makes it 18 times harder…or maybe 36 times harder, I don’t know…math was never my strong point.

    I laugh about my own autoimmune diseases, laugh when people judged me for riding a scooter through Disneyland….I constantly joke with my kid, telling her if she wasn’t so lazy, she’d make her own insulin…it’s how you look at life that gets you through. If you want to be offended by Jenny’s joke, go ahead..but wouldn’t it be easier to see it for the ridiculousness that it is?

  183. Sorry, but I cannot vote for a limerick that doesn’t scan correctly.
    I’ve read your limerick several times; in no place does it say “Type 1”; apparently at least some moms of Type 1 diabetics forget than any other kind exists. As a Type 2 diabetic, I’m offended, and now I’m crying into my Cap’n Crunch.

    Oh, here’s a sample limerick to illustrate standard meter:

    A girl named Maggie McTavitty
    Devoted her life to depravity.
    She whored and she drank;
    She gambled; she stank;
    She broke every law except gravity.

  184. Ok… not my best work but it’s incredibly rare that I get to work both “sugar” and “flogging” into a comment… today is a special day!

    There once was an internet blogger
    Whose humor did others bother
    She wrote of poor diet
    But they wouldn’t buy it
    They used Imperial Sugar to flog her

  185. Wow! I cannot believe that a few people took such offense with this. It must suck to have little to no sense of humor. Diabetes runs in my family, my best friend has it, and I’ve been told my a doctor that excess weight around my mid-section will likely cause diabetes if I don’t lose it. Despite these facts there is nothing UN-funny about this. Get a grip, folks.

  186. You shouldn’t have to defend your blog. If people get offended that’s their problem. They’re not worth the explanation. I think your limerick was fan-fucking-tastic.

  187. My Type I diabetic fiance thought that it was fucking hilarious. My friend’s diabetic cat thinks you are evil for implying that his obesity and fixation with Teh Carbs may have led to his disease. Don’t worry though, he’s pretty chubby and lacks opposable thumbs so I don’t think he can [i] actually [/i] track you down and hurk hairballs in your bed. If he does it’s totally not my fault.

  188. attempting to picture what their Ad will look like to accompany that fine limerick….hahaha… sadly I don’t think it will ever make it to copy… the company prob. doesn’t have much sense of haha….

  189. Well, as usual, I’m late to the party and must have totally missed the conversion of this blog from humor to education. Not that there weren’t some educational nuggets sprinkled throughout before, but apparently now it is to be totally devoted to educating the internet masses. I’m looking forward to the in-depth exploration of rheumatoid arthritis . On a personal note, I’d also like to request some special attention to the subjects of ADHD, traumatic amputation, e.coli with HUS complications, childhood bipolar disorder and gender identity. I’m sure my other major subject of interest, depression, will be covered without my having to ask.

    Enough. We ALL have our crosses to bear but this is NOT the place to be if you are thin-skinned or overly sensitive about certain subjects. I’ve got problems and I’ve got kids who have problems (see list above) and while I have struggled with the anguish of dealing with those issues and, more importantly, struggled with watching my kids deal with those issues, one thing I’ve always tried to do is deal with those issues with humor. For instance, my 10-year-old daughter now laments that she’ll only be able to learn to count to 18 because she lost a couple of digits. And she’ll tell you that she really did lose them because we never found them. Problems like RA, diabetes, mental illness and many others aren’t going away (in our lifetime, anyway), and I happen to think my kids will be better served if they’re given the tools to be able to cope with their problems rather than protected from them. Humor and honesty are two of the best coping tools I’ve found, and Jenny employs them both here.

    Jenny is one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. She’s also one of the funniest, irreverant, and warped people I’ve ever met. All of which is why I love her. And the silence from Imperial? It’s simply stunned awe at her brilliance. I’m sure the iPad is in the mail. Or the MaxiPad. One of those.

  190. Oh my god. I laughed until water went up my nose, and I HAVE TYPE 1 DIABETES. Continually educating people about the differences between Type 1 and Type 2 is a sad fact of life for those of us with the former. Excessive sugar intake absolutely contributes heavily to the Type 2 diabetes obesity epidemic, and I would rather have a limerick contributing to awareness of the health problems caused by poor diet, even if it means I have to fend off a couple more ignorant questions next time I have an ice cream cone. And whatever, your limerick was just plain funny. We have to keep our sense of humor or else…well I’m not quite sure.

  191. some people need to learn how to laugh…can’t believe you got complaint emails!

  192. pissed off type 1 diabetic from comment #329…that is damn near the funniest comment i have ever read in my life. in. my. life. i have humor envy of you.

  193. I often wonder why people with no sense of humor read humor blogs.

    I don’t go on their blogs and say, “You call this SERIOUS? I didn’t even cry once!”

  194. Hey now I’m Type 1 and I thought it was funny! wow a lot of these diabetes mamas are taking it waaaayyyy to seriously.
    and for the record I have been told on so many occasions that if I just lose weight/exercise/eat healthier/stand on my head in a rainstorm my diabetes will magically go away because that persons brother/cousin/uncle/dog got better when they did any or all of the above. So I get that there are myths about type 1 out there – and I still think this is funny
    lighten up!

  195. Omg I love it! My dad once won a PET milk contest with the following:

    No tits to pull, no shit to pitch.
    Just pop to holes in the son-of-a-bitch!

    But I really love yours too! hahahaaaaaaa

  196. The limerick is amusing. Of course, I find it so because I don’t blame people with any type of diabetes for their illness. Those who are offended by it should probably examine their own biases because their primary complaint is that those type one diabetes is often mistaken for type two diabetes. So what? Whether you have the autoimmune form or the adult-onset form, you still have health problems to cope with, you still need medical attention, you still have to mind your refined sugar intake, and you still have to monitor your blood glucose levels. How about we all stop judging people with type two diabetes instead of getting all huffy when someone thinks you/your child might have it? How about we stop blaming people for their medical problems and start calling people on it when they judge and blame either type of diabetic?

  197. Who gives a f**ck? You can’t please everybody right? SO damn tired of these people getting offended! Next thing you know, the little people will start getting offended at some migit posts. Go figure…

  198. I’m trying to think of a good joke about an arthritis hand claw… but nothing is coming to mind! I’ll get back to you once I think of a good one!

  199. Sara, #313,
    Type 2 diabetes is like type 1 diabetes. It’s caused by a genetic predisposition and environmental triggers. The idea that there are only two main types is wrong anyway. There’s LADA, monogenic, flatbush, varying degrees of lack of insulin, lack of other hormones, insulin resistance, etc.
    The idea that any kind of diabetes was ever caused by simply eating too much sugar was a simplistic explanation based on a correlation which doesn’t necessarily represent cause and effect.
    Sorry to throw another comment in here that isn’t funny, but you asked me if you should listen to your doctor. Your doctor is probably as ignorant as most, which is shockingly ignorant.
    This isn’t meant to criticize the limerick, which I know wasn’t intended to be educational.

  200. Um, actually your doctor is an idiot. Then again, most doctors are idiots when it comes to nutrition. Eating sugar doesn’t cause type 2 diabetes either. Excess weight from eating like crap does. Or a family history of diabetes.

  201. Throwing another one on the pile. I am a snarky snarkster myself, and yes, I get the joke! I think it’s not so much the spreading of misinformation or insensitivity that makes some diabetics react in a ‘grrr’ manner. It’s going to a fun, snarky website and being reminded that you have a chronic illness! And hey, maybe you’ll lose your legs!

    Then it really takes you out of the funny zone.

    Just my 2 cents. Keep on truckin.

  202. I have never heard of this blog before, only came to see what all the fuss was about after I read the apology that Blogess wrote. I came here to see what all the fuss was about.

    The mother’s of Type 1’s I believe found the limerick offensive because of the context it was said in. Much of what was posted was lost in the in the general consensus of the other posters. I am sure that #329’s just went over 99% of their heads! How did I come to this conclusion? Posters who posted that all Type 2 diabetics are overweight from a result of eating too much sugar. Really? Halle Berry always comes to mind when someone refers to Type 2 diabetics as obese! Then there was the brain trust who posted that a woman she knew had Type 1 diabetes “so bad that she was hooked up to an intervenous insulin pump.” Really? Insulin pumps are connected by a sucutaneous infusion set. There is no “degree” of having Type 1 diabetes, to put it simplisticly, it is like being pregnant, either you are or you are not! That this person was drinking alcohol has nothing to do with her diabetes. It is just the same as if she were a child eating an ice cream cone.

    What the mothers tried to explain, I believe, is the bigotry and dicrimination that is very rampant with diabetes. I hope that none of you will ever have to comfort your son who was cut from the high school baseball team soley because he was diabetic and the coach was afraid. Of course that kind of discrimination can be rationalized away by saying that his skills were not up to the other players. Really? Was it because he was the only one to hit a home run off the pitcher in the last practice? Or was it because you left a kid on the team that was so obese that he could not bend over to pick up the ball? Or was it because there were only twelve players going out for the team that you could keep fifteen on? Of course it wasn’t because his mother just turned in his health papers that same day which said he was diabetic because this was a good Christian school!

    Wonder how these responses and how long this blog would have remained open if it was posted that a black child ate so much white sugar that he turned white? To really make it hilarious, he ate so much sugar that he turned white so his whole family ate a bag of it and there was no more need for the NAACP?

    Gee, not funny? I realize that there are not very many people and groups that it is still PC to make limericks or jokes about. I just saw a commercial about using the “R” word. Maybe people will have to resort to making jokes about things that are really funny and not people’s race, disease or handicap.

    But then, it would take some comprehension on the part of the readers.

  203. Any Type 1 diabetics who got angry at your limerick either A: don’t understand artistic license or B: take themselves WAY too seriously. I am a Type 1 diabetic and I love your limerick, as well as all your other posts. Those angry people are the same ones who don’t think I should refer to myself as a ‘diabetty’.

  204. I got it… and I have type 1 diabeties. Although I would have gotten mad at anybody else for saying something like that. I wonder what that says about me?

  205. thats the funniest thing i’ve read on the internet, since the last funniest thing i read on the internet.

  206. As a nursing student, that limerick is totally defendable!

    Being an aspiring diabetic means chugging sugar!

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