My cat is alive and makes me feel like an asshole

Conversation with the exterminator about my 16+ year old cat:

Exterminator: Ma’am? I’m afraid you have a dead cat in your living room.

me: Oh, he’s not dead. He’s just really old.

Exterminator: I’m sorry, ma’am, but this cat is dead.

me: He’s just fucking with you. He sleeps with his eyes open.

Posey: MEOW.

Exterminator: JESUS CHRIST!

me: Exactly.

…That was several months ago.  Since then, Posey has gotten thinner and wheezier and I felt selfish, so yesterday I took him to the vet to have him put to sleep.  But then the vet was like, “This cats thyroid’s fucked up.  I could probably save him.  I mean, unless you just WANT to kill him.”  Which is awesome.  So now I feel happy and like an asshole.

Also, the vet told me to take a picture of Posey today and then another one in 3 months so that I can see the difference in his appearance.  I assume he means if Posey responds to the meds, and not if he dies of a stroke in the next week.  Hard to tell.

My cat looks like Gollum.

496 thoughts on “My cat is alive and makes me feel like an asshole

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Whoah, whoah, whoah: You know of a vet who will off cats just because you ask him to? That is very, very useful info to have. Don’t tell my daughter.

  2. Hooray for Posey! Can’t wait to see the after pic. If the meds work. Don’t want to see the other one.

  3. I had a very old cat with the same thing. He took the pills, got all better, and lived another year and a half as his funky old self. He was 24 when he died. It was totally worth it.

  4. My cat’s thyroid is effed up too. She’s been on meds for about 2 years now. I’ve just stuck her in her sister’s (rabbit, not other cat) panda coat for giggles. She wants to kill me. Photographic evidence rocks.

  5. Hahahahahah. He sounds like a puuuuuurfectly appropriate cat for you. Likes to fuck with people, just cause he can. FTW.

  6. She’ll probably out-live you, just to teach you a lesson. Cats are assholes. Fuzzy, adorable, snuggly, assholes.

  7. What a sweet, sort of sad, implying guilt face.
    Please update this post in three months, when you do take another picture. Posey will probably live at least another 16 years, you know, just to fuck with ya.

  8. Wowza, that’s good to know. I mean, when my cats start looking thin, I won’t just put them to sleep and become a cat murderer! I hear poor thyroid function make humans fat. Haha.

  9. Glad to hear your kitteh is ok. Now Posey can taunt you a second time.

    By the way, does your vet also off shaved faced monkey’s by chance? Coperinicus taunts me all day long on Facebook.

  10. You’re the most awesome asshole I know. Not sure that’s sounding the way I mean it…

  11. Your cat really does look like Gollum, I think your vet is fucking with you. My Mum recently had her cat put down, I was sad for my mum and then annoyed because she had it cremated and I really wanted her skull to go on the sideboard next to the tiger’s skull.

  12. Imagine when Puss in Boots tries to look precious in Shrek 2. Only someone hollowed his eyes out and filled them will a bottomless shiny glass pit. Voila! You’ve got a sure-fire way to describe Posey to strangers.

    Strangers without internet, of course.

  13. Gah. Posey is going to slaughter you in your sleep. “Remember that time you tried to kill me? Me too.” And then with his tiny little ninja stars, you will be no more.

  14. I am sorry your cat is sick, I have an elderly cat too. What a cutie though, I hope he continues to fuck with anyone who dares come in to your house for a long time to come.

  15. I’m in love with your cat. Go Posey!
    I think that part of a cat’s role is to make you feel like an asshole…not five minutes ago, I tried to ease one of mine off of my office chair and the little bastard let himself fall…clunk on the ground. Now I’m wondering if he’s got broken ribs or spinal misalignment or something…

  16. Poor baby! I hope he gets better soon!! Don’t feel like an asshole Jenny. You’re doing the right thing! :o)

  17. We had a cat that lived to be 20+… She never slept with her eyes open (I think, maybe she was just doing it really well so that we never caught her at it) but she did go a bit deaf, causing her to significantly up her meowing decibel levels.

    Because if she couldn’t even hear herself, how could we? The neighbours got used to it. eventually. :3

  18. “I could probably save him. I mean, unless you just WANT to kill him.”
    I would ask if I could get a rain check…and use it for my neighbors.

  19. He’s a great Halloween prop.

    Seriously, hope he kicks his thyroid’s ass. I’ve been fighting my own thyroid for years (like almost all women it seems).

  20. My 16-year old cat had one tooth, a crooked crotch and patches of hair missing all over her skinny little feline form. When we finally brought her in, the vet made the “ugly baby” face, which reaffirmed my decision. But it sucked, so I’m glad your little mongrel has a little ray of hope, although he kind of looks like he’s plotting your death in that picture.

  21. Aww…. he’s a cutie. My friend had a cat who lived 21+ years and she only had to put him down because he had cancer and his quality of life was declining (it was affecting his ablity to walk and use the litterbox, etc.) The good news is you might have him another 5 years! 😀

  22. We recently had to put our cat to sleep. She was about 13 years old (we were the 4th? 5th owners?) and had FIV and was battling Chronic Renal Failure. About 9 months ago they told us that we had about a week left with her, but we could give her subcutaneous fluids to keep her comfortable for that time. She disagreed vehemently about how comfortable being poked with a needle on a daily basis was, but she did improve and we had her for another 9 full months.

    I have no idea where I’m going with this other than to say that I’m glad that Posey may be getting an extended lease as well.

  23. I have a f’d up thyroid too (among other issues!) and the meds are great. My sister had a cat with thyroid problems and they were easy to manage with meds – I think she applied a paste to his ears? Maybe that was for the cancer? I don’t remember. Prescious Posey ROCKS!

  24. Glad to hear it! I have a cat with cancer and a bad kidney, sadly the treatment for one messes up the other according to the vet. I don’t want his last day with us to be at the vet, though. Kind of sad we can’t sneak him onto a space shuttle launch.

  25. My cat (now long dead) had this thyroid problem in her last years as well. The meds gave her a few more years of life, but were hard to regulate. She ended up having her thyroid taking out. Her health improved tremendously after that, but she died a year later from a stroke, which may have / haven’t been related to the thyroid surgery. You may find that your almost dead cat comes back to life.

  26. Gollum Posey is very cute. You are a good owner too. I would have passed on the thyroid meds and just put my cat down. But he’s really irritating and doesn’t mess with people in cool ways like your cat does.

  27. Don’t know about Gollum (that cartoon hobbit movie scared the bejeezus out of me when I was young) but I think Posey looks like a rad Anime cat with those amazing I-can’t-believe-you-didn’t-Photoshop-them eyes.

  28. I totally know how you feel. My 16 year old cat recently wandered off to die. He didn’t make it very far, just under a fence and across a hiking path. He found a nice shady oak tree and curled up to wait. Some good samaritan, scooped him up, sure he’d been hit by a car. She left me a voicemail and took him to the emergency vet 20 minutes away. They poked, prodded and pumped him full of fluids. They looked at me like I was a total asshole when I declined treatment and said I would take him to my own vet for euthanasia. He wasn’t even in there anymore and he’d had an amazing life and my goodness, people! You don’t even know me.
    He sleeps peacefully in my garden under his favorite tree. He, sadly, did not die with the dignity he had intended. Your Posey is gonna be great with a little thyroid treatment. Enjoy him.

  29. I took my 20 year old cat, Poco, in for her annual exam and they tested her thyroid and it was messed up. I felt horrible because I’d just assumed she was wasting away because she was old and I could have been pumping her full of drugs to keep her fat and healthy. The drugs bought her another year – which is a long time when you are an ancient cat.

    Posey’s awesome “sleep with two eyes open” routine TOTALLY buy her a couple extra years of fat and happy. Live on, awesome cat, live on.

  30. When I was a kid, my dog used to sleep in the middle of the street (I know- we were AWESOME pet parents, but in our defense it was a really small town and almost no traffic) and people were frequently ringing our doorbell to tell us that our dog was dead. We’d just whistle at him, he’d lift his head up, and then go right back to sleep.

    Pets just like screwing with us that way.

  31. Reminds me of a character from the Discworld books that wore a sign around her neck while in bed that said ‘I AIN’T DED’

  32. Hope you feel better soon, Posey. In related news I used to freak out my sisters by sleeping with my eyes open as a child. My thyroid appears to be unaffected though… but I do occasionally get hairballs.

  33. Someday I will remember to read your blog BEFORE taking a big gulp of diet Pepsi.

    I’m sure Posey will thank you for this. Or kill you in your sleep. It’s always hard to figure out how a cat will express their gratitude. Mine usually puke on the carpet, avoiding the whole lower level that is hardwood and tile.

  34. My grandparents’ cat outlived both of them. He’s 25. In human years. Just a warning that you may need a back up plan on who Posey’s caretakers are.

  35. My cat Walter underwent thyroid treatment a year ago. She was tiny and sickly and now she’s a happy fat cat. She did the radioactive iodine treatment but I wouldn’t recommend it for an advanced age cat, though.

  36. My lovely cat lived to the ripe old age of 24 – and only the last 6 months were difficult for her. I felt like an ass, too – but I couldn’t bring myself to put her to sleep. She passed away peacefully in her sleep a few days after I said to myself “This is the end, and I’ve really got to do the humane thing…”

    On this one – been there, done that – got the t-shirt and felt like shit about it.

    Posey seems like a sweetheart. I hope the thyroid thing gets better and he hangs around for a bit longer.

    And I agree – cats are fuzzy, adorable assholes.

  37. My cat likes fucking with me too. We thought she was just getting fat but turns out she was pregnant. Which I found out by having her jump on my bed with birthing fluids dried up all over her butt and legs. We don’t know how since our other cat doesn’t have balls anymore. But then it turns out she wasn’t pregnant, she just pretended to be and spewed blood and liquid all over the floor under my bed. I find out it was a “fake pregnancy” and apparently happens all the time. Wish I had known that TWO FUCKING HOURS BEFORE when I was frantically searching for the kittens…. that didn’ apparently exist cuz my cat enjoys fucking with me.

  38. I have a 16 year old cat too and takes a thyroid medicine and wheezes all the time. I’m convinced he’s going to wheeze himself to death, but the vet thought it was just allergies. My parent’s cat just died at 20. Can you imagine having your cat for FOUR MORE YEARS. I can’t.

  39. When Posey gains some weight back, you should switch the before & after and use them to try to sell a new fad cat diet. “Is your Tabby too flabby? Try my special new kitty diet!” And then send them some catnip.

    Helloooo new source of income!

  40. Posey is awesome! I love cantankerous and stubborn cats. That’s how cats should be. And not to worry, I had a cat that was way more fucked up. Despite her own stupidity, (she once lit her own tail on fire and then look very confused when I had to put her out) she lived to 22. My little fuzz ball had attitude too 🙂

  41. I’d like the name of your vet (Pet Assassin) – there’s a barking dog in our neighborhood I’d like to have taken care of…

  42. We’ve taken our insanely old dog to the vet at least three times to say, um… so, yeah. Phoebe’s about had it, right? She’s incontinent, her back legs don’t really work, she’s deaf, she doesn’t seem particularly happy. So, um, about time to call it a day, right? And the stinkin’ vet says, Hey! This dog is fine! Lotsa years left in her! Making me feel like an evil bloodthirsty animal killer. I love my dog, but… she pees on us as we carry her around the house. I mean… really?

  43. Normally I like to say something smarmy here at TheBloggess, but today my heart just goes out to you. I hope the thyroid medicine works. It did for our 18+ year old Glamour cat, Calliope.

  44. Oops! I mean “it does work for our 18+ Glamour cat, Calliope”.

    anyone else having problems with comment luv, or is it just me not getting any?

  45. Awh Go Posey! You’ll be feeling more yourself in no time! Our orange old grumpy tomcat Murphy has been on thyroid meds for about 6 months now and is running around like a kitten again. This is much to the chagrin of our other much larger cat, Dummy (yes I know) who is getting his ass kicked on a regular basis by a cat half his weight.

  46. I totally understand. I have a 17 year old named Sassarooney Danglefoot. And she looks like a black and white version of your Posey.

    She has kidney disease, and I cam Very Close to putting her to sleep. But the vet said the same thing, and we went through some treatments. Unlike Posey, she was given a life expectancy of one month, if we were lucky.

    That was June. She’s still alive. And still just as skinny.

    Oddly, she is now turning gray. We think she’s becoming a lich, and sucking the life out of our gray cat, Ivy.

  47. YOU HAVE to take a pick of Posey sleeping with eyes open NEXT to the Death Battle!!!!!!!!!!!

  48. Methimazole! I’ve worked at a vet’s office for four years now. It’s amazing what hyperthyroidism can do to a cat and how quickly. My Mickey Blue Eyes (who drooled) was hyperthyroid, so I’ve been there. Just an fyi: there are three ways to give the medication, so if one doesn’t work, ASK. Vets can be lazy fuckers and don’t always offer. There’s a tablet, a tuna or chicken flavored chewable, and a transdermal that you apply to the inner ear.

  49. Hang in there Jenny! You’re my favorite ass-hole for sure. 😉 …and best wishes to Posey, the wonder cat!

  50. apparently its just me not getting any luv. Sad. And today we bedazzled gas masks on my blog. It doesn’t get much more strange at

  51. I’m trying to stop laughing but I can’t. Your cat’s picture scared the shit out of me. And made me laugh – at the same time.

  52. That’s just about one of the hardest decisions to reach – when is it time?
    If it’s ‘just’ a thyroid issue, then yay! You can work with that.
    If he doesn’t seem happy or comfortable, then your decision gets a little easier to make. (In theory.)

    Treasure the time you have…as we all should, every day. You’re not an asshole. (Your vet, however, may be. The jury is out on that.)


  53. Well, at least Posey got his thyroid fucked up the right way. My fucked up thyroid just makes me fat.

  54. I so want a cat that screws with people’s minds! How does one go about finding one?

    Of course, I need to figure out how one goes about sneaking the heavy dose of daily allergy medication to one’s spouse before I try to hide a cat in our home…

  55. I’m sorry, but your cat DOES look like Gollum. Also, if he pretends to be asleep only to scare people, then he also ACTS like Gollum as well.

    (I wonder if he could do the same while hanging upside down and whispering maniacally to himself in Cat.)

  56. Holy freaking cow! I loved this entry.. and ALL the posts that came after. What a treasure!

  57. My old cat looked like that. They fixed her thyroid… she lived a lot of years after that. Go Posey! XO

  58. just reading the comments to this, has just made up for my entire ffedup week 🙂

    Im sorry Posey’s not feeling well, i lost one of my cats quite recently and our house still isnt the same. I really hope she will be around for many more years to come, to put more smiles on our faces when she once again fucks with an exterminator.

    Posey, you rule!

    Oh, and ”pulling a Posey” is -SO- going to be in my vocabulary!

  59. Maybe your cat is Gollum…in which case I would hide all your valuables so he doesn’t drag them into his cat cave (or hide them behind the washer…either or…)

    I wish my cat could play dead though, all she does is prove that not all cats are coordinated, which is entertaining in its own right, but it doesn’t scare visitors…shame

  60. You’re not doing your job as a good cat owner unless your cat makes you feel like an asshole. So you’re doing a great job, Jenny! 🙂

    Sending good vibes Posey’s way!

  61. My cat died of chronic pancreatitis, no fun to watch at all. So, I hope Posey will make a full recovery and outlive us all 🙂

  62. We just found out last week that our cat’s throid is broken. According to the vet, there is no cure, but it’s definitely treatable. He’ll be on meds for the rest of his life (he’s 15) but we can get them compounded into chicken treats, or into a goo to stick in his ear, so at least there are options. Be careful with the doseage though – too much makes them puke until their bodies get used to it. We’ve started with a half dose & will gradually increase it.

    I hope Posey handles the meds well & is feeling better soon! Maybe Posey & my kitty can become pen pals. 🙂

  63. Damn you woman I know I should expect nothing less and be prepared but you just gave me an Asthma Hacking cough attack and I had to clean the spittle from the screen to keep reading Damn you again and again I hope that cat lives forever and looks at you with accusatory eyes that say ” yes, mommy Jenny I know, you who took me to the vet to put me to sleep, but I’m still here and you will not be getting me stuffed to put in the garage with a snake and a mongoose any time soon”

  64. Owning pets is such a roller coaster. I figure, if I’m not worried that I’m not doing something right, I’m probably not doing something right. Of course, my first dog was a cantankerous old man, and I ended up with him because my grandma couldn’t keep him when she went into the nursing home, and my current dog had a leg amputated three weeks before I got her. So I might be asking for trouble.

    Hey, Dangerboy, some vets will come to you. Still awful, but at least his last hours were spent getting cuddles in the sunshine.

  65. My cat had to take thyroid medicine – it really helped. Make sure that the vet gives you the kind that comes in a treat form – it’s much easier to get them to eat them instead of trying to force a regular pill down their throats.

  66. Yeah, Posie looks like he has thyroid coat for sure, but his eyes are incredibly clear for a cat of that age! I wouldn’t doubt if you get a few more years out of him once his thyroid get’s straightened out. Don’t feel like an asshole though, I worked in a vet for 10 years and we would have people bring pets in to put them down only to find out the condition was treatable all the time. The assholes are the ones who do it anyway, even when you offer to just take the animal on yourself, treat it and find it a new home.

  67. Your cat TOTALLY looks like Gollum, but a nice Gollum, one that probably won’t talk to himself and bite your finger off. Probably.

  68. But WAIT! WHY was there an EXTERMINATOR there IN THE FIRST FIRST PLACE?????
    Everything is already dead at your house.

  69. I’ve got a geriatric 16+ kitty, too. She was getting thin and thirsty so I took her to the vet for testing last spring. They said it could be hyperthyroidism, but nope, it’s CRF. They proceeded to inject her with steroids which made her miserable. I took her to another vet who said she also has cardiomyopathy and put her on a blood pressure pill that turned her into a zombie. So now I’m treating her myself with Chinese herbs and sub-q fluids and she’s doing better- not as springy as she once was, but not miserable. I just hope she at least makes it until I finish grad school in two months so I won’t fall apart while I’m dealing with some bull shit assignment.

    Good luck with Posey!

  70. My old cat, Dory, had a hyper-thyroid as well. I said she looked like a concentration camp cat because… I’m classy like that.

    At any rate, the thyroid medication worked like gang-busters. She put on weight and lived several more happy healthy years. I had to put her down this June because she was pretty much riddled with cancer but that thyroid stuff works and works pretty darn fast. Hell, I noticed a change in her within a week.

  71. Your cat looks like some sort of otherworldly creature.

    Likely with intense amounts of vast knowledge about the meaning of life that he plans on sharing when you are ready.

    Which is looking like never cause he clearly knows you were planning on murdering him.

    So essentially, you’ve ensured we will never know the secrets of the universe.

    Thanks Jenny. THANKS.

  72. I knew a cat that lived to be 28…. Those last 8 years was mostly laying on a heating pad and hissing at everything that came near it. But 28 years is rediculously long for a pet. I mean even children should be kicked out of the house after 26 years in most cases.

  73. Very cool that the vet checked for what could be wrong and (hopefully accurately) determined it was not fatal!
    Yay for Posey getting to use up all nine lives!

  74. @dudes on drugs you just made me laugh out loud in the middle of my office.
    Good luck to Possy

  75. We found a stray in our front yard. It looked like a steven king reject. Come to find out he was tottally deaf and blind in one eye. We fed him, cared for him but he wasn’t better. So we took him kindly to the Humane Society and told them we didn’t know what to do that they had to “take care of him”. We mourned and didn’t sleep, thinking we had done what was best. Two days later they called and we prepared for the worst. “Mrs. Harmon, he said, ( I braced myself),we have your cat ready..he has been neutered and microchipped!”…WE named him Lucky!

  76. I have a 20 year old cat who makes me feel like an asshole. Mainly because I’m praying for her demise.

  77. Guilt is kind of what cats do, so I be Posey’s quite pleased with himself right now.

    Random thought: imagine the level of trolling that would occur if cats could use the internet. It would be EPIC.

  78. This cat looks eerily similar to Calista Flockhart. Perhaps you should use your powers on twitter to inform her PR rep that Ms. Flockhart’s thyroid is overactive – much like your cat Posey.

  79. Give me the Precious …er… I mean catnip!
    “My, what big eyes you have!” “Yes, the better to spy on you monkeys and plot the cat revolution. heheheheh er… I mean… MEOW”

  80. Kinda freaky! I just this morning took my cat in for a blood test to check her thyroid levels. Walking back to my desk I thought “Boy, I could use some Blogess” And her you are talking about what’s on my mind. It’s like we’re the same person, only you’re WAY more hilarious.

    Instead of trying to kill her, I took my 17+ year old cat in for a normal “senior checkup”, and the vet said “WHOA – her heart is beating so fast I can’t count it. And she’s lost 2 pounds. I’m thinking thyroid”. 2 months later, she’s responded well to the meds and gained a pound in the last month. Since she did well on the treat-meds, the vet is now suggesting that she may be a good candidate for radioactive iodine. At almost 18! So, I may end up with a radioactive bitchy cat.

    Can you imagine a radioactively glowing Gollum kitty? All the best to Posey. Thyroid meds are little miracles. And the person who put it in treats should be sainted.

  81. We had to get my cats thyroid taken out twice. She almost died the second time. But in the end she lived to be an nice old age of 19. Those thyroids are a bitch!

  82. Good luck, Posey! I hope the meds help. Just fyi, watch closely for awhile. One of my cats had thyroid issues but then the meds fucked up her liver. Though, apparently, that’s not common. Both my cats at the time tended to be the kitty equivalent of medical Murphy’s Law examples.

  83. Being hyperthyroid is actually super common in old cats. The meds should help. They will not make her sleep with her eyes closed however. That is just because she is smart enough to know how to mess with your mind. Go Posey-kitteh!!!

  84. I had a diabetic cat that was steadily declining despite all the expensive efforts to control the disease. Even on the day he seized up, urinated on himself and I had to take the drive to death, I was second guessing myself that I should have tried harder. Enjoy that pill stuffing/flesh shredding last ditch effort to get Posey back with the living. You won’t be happy with yourself if you don’t. Posey does look pretty content for a dead cat walking.

  85. He looks so sweet. My kitty’s getting quite old, too. Glad to hear you’re giving the meds a shot – best wishes for the tiny furball.

  86. I have thyroid problems too…no one put me down, or tried to, though. But then again I didn’t look like gollum, more like the person who ate gollum for lunch.

    Get better soon Posey! From one f’d up thyroid to another.

  87. Posey good luck with defying grim reaper, bitch slap him again with those claws. Thank you. Your craziness gets me to laugh and feel less insane. Inspired me to start my own blog. Hey it may suck but it least it lets the voices in my head finally express themselves.

  88. I hear ya! My 19-year-old cat Mia constantly makes me feel like an asshole. It’s her whole purpose in life anymore. I love her dearly, but her breath is ultra-stinky, her tongue is 20x scratchier than any other cat tongue, and she is always right under my feet where I can’t see her — just so she can give me the old cat lady meow when I inevitably step on her.

  89. ‘Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!’

    Posey: “But I’m not dead yet…”


  90. Wow…going as far as developing thyroid issues just to play a joke on you like that! The nerve!

    Maybe he thought you’d have him stuffed so you could add him to the Mongoose/Snake battle scene.

    **Seriously though, I’m glad you found out that Posey is actually okay and his condition is treatable. At such an old age, that’s some serious luck. Can’t wait to see what he looks like when he’s better 🙂

  91. Ah Posey must have HYPERThyroidism. Poor guy. Poor guy meaning Posey; certainly he doesn’t feel good, even at 16 which is crazy old but amazing. You’re not an asshole Jennifer!

  92. You took him in because he was sick and you thought he was dying and suffering – no reason to feel like an asshole for that! And now you’ve found that he can likely be just fine with medication – which you never would have found out if you hadn’t taken him in! How cool is that?
    My mother has a cat that’s diabetic. Through medication and diet it’s been controlled for years. One day while at the vet’s office for something unrelated I heard a conversation between the vet and a woman who’s cat had just been diagnoased as diabetic. The woman said the cat should be put down because it was no kind of a life for the cat to be diabetic. I tried to talk to her to tell her that her cat could still have a long and healthy life, but she didn’t want to be bothered with giving the cat shots and preferred to have it put down rather than deal with it.
    Now THAT’S someone who should feel like an asshole.

  93. I hope Posey is ok. That’s funny that she freaked out the exterminator!! I mean, really!!

  94. My cat Chelsea just turned 19. She’s been on thyroid pills for the last 3 years. Every time she’s in with the vet, no one can believe she’s as old as she is. So, yeah, definitely not dead yet. If Posey reacts well to the medication you could probably expect to have her around for many more years (so that she can plot her revenge).

  95. So, my parents have a cat who sleeps like the dead, and she liked to sleep in chairs. One evening at my parents’ giant Christmas party, my mother is checking food levels and behind her, hears this conversation:

    Woman #1: “That’s Jane’s* cat. She loved it so much she HAD IT STUFFED and now it sits in the dining room chairs.”
    Woman #2: “It’s DEAD?”
    Woman#1: “Yes, and I heard she moves it around to different chairs so it’s like it’s really with her!”
    Woman #2: “Ew!”
    Woman #1: “Yes, and –”
    Cat: “MEOW”
    Woman #1 and #2: “AUGH!!!!”
    My mother (comes back into the kitchen and finds me): “We need to cut back on the vodka in the punch next year.”

    *Not her real name

  96. I had a greyhound who slept with his eyes open. Scared every single one of my friends…we used to set people up just to see the reactions. Best party trick ever 🙂
    Good luck to Posey and her thyroid. Medication does wonders!

  97. I once scared the shit out of the cable guy at my parents house. It was moving day, and i got a killer migraine, so I found a closet that was nice and dark and out of the way to try and sleep it off. The cable guy opened the door and just about screamed.
    My parents have had free cable ever since.

  98. It’s been one of those my toddler stole my wedding ring for dressup/my dog threw up on my bed/husband is getting laid off sort of days.
    Was hoping since I hadn’t read your blog in over a week that it would cheer me up…in a sick-twisted-and-wicked-in-a-good-way that you always do.

    Thanks for making me laugh…again.

  99. Your cat does look like Gollum! Do you have reenactments? Who in the household gets to lose a finger at the Mountain of Doom?

  100. So, my parents have a cat who sleeps like the dead, and she liked to sleep in chairs. One evening at my parents’ giant Christmas party, my mother is checking food levels and behind her, hears this conversation:

    Woman #1: “That’s Jane’s* cat. She loved it so much she HAD IT STUFFED and now it sits in the dining room chairs.”
    Woman #2: “It’s DEAD?”
    Woman#1: “Yes, and I heard she moves it around to different chairs so it’s like it’s really with her!”
    Woman #2: “Ew!”
    Woman #1: “Yes, and –”
    Cat: “MEOW”
    Woman #1 and #2: “AUGH!!!!”
    My mother (comes back into the kitchen and finds me): “We need to cut back on the vodka in the punch next year.”

    *Not her real name

  101. Thyroids are crazy little critters. I bet most people don’t even think about having one until it goes wonky on them. Trust me, I know. Although mine could be wonky from handling I-131 when I did nuclear pharmacy. Nice, huh? 🙂

  102. Looking like Gollum is one thing – finding out that he bumped off Ferris Mewler in order to have The One Cat Toy would be disturbing.

    My poor Minou lived to 16, when kidney failure was rapidly killing him. The vet said I could either put him to sleep (a few days later!), or chance it and wake up one day to find him dead. Either way, he was going to die, and they made it sound as simple as paper or plastic. He got to come home for the weekend, and I felt like they were teasing me before he was put to sleep that following Monday. Vets can be dicks.

    Hang in there, Posey! Your people love you!

  103. poor kitty! he does look like something is not quite right with him. hope he feels better soon!

  104. Are exterminators allowed to be creeped out by things? Doesn’t that contravene the exterminator code of ethics? They touch cockroaches and rat poop. You’ve gotta have balls of steel or a graphically violent childhood to deal with that. Clearly you’ve hired a sub par exterminator if he can’t handle a zombie cat.

  105. My 17 year old cat just died. He had a fucked up thyroid, pooping problems, and other old manish issues. He looked very thin…just like posey.

    And I so didn’t want to put him down.

    And then he had a stroke.

    So we put him down.

    And I felt like an asshole for making him go through that.

    I am not sure you can win. Cats are put on this earth to make us feel like assholes.

    You know, when they aren’t being so damn furry and cute and cuddly.

  106. My Dad tried to pull that stunt with me one time. Scared the living bejeezus out of me. I told him next time he tried it, I’d have a body bag at the ready. MotherEffer. Good thing your cat’s way cuter than my Dad is – I’d let Posey live.

  107. Cats tend to be hyperthyroid (skinny, eats ALL THE THINGS, and meows a lot), while humans and dogs tend to be hypothyroid (gains weight, sluggish). Meds will make a huge difference to Posey, though they can also expose underlying kidney disease by fixing the hyperthyroidism (just something to be aware of, and something that is also wicked common in older cats, like hyperthyroidism). You should hopefully see some weight gain, less annoying yowling at you, and better overall health after the meds have been going for a bit. Can’t wait to see the after pic!

  108. Hmm, well I kind of have to agree that you’re a bit of an asshole… It is perplexing to me that you didn’t take your cat to the vet when it started to get sick, as opposed to only taking it to kill it when you felt guilty enough….

    (I took Posey to our old vet two years ago when he started losing weight – even though he was still eating, drinking, and acting fine – and the vet there told me that it was simply an older cat and that this should be expected since Posey was a malnourished, stray before we rescued him off the street, and that I should enjoy his company until he seems like he’s ready to go. It’s only when he started to look miserable that I took him in to the new vet who suggested that it could be a thyroid problem. ~ Jenny)

  109. My 15 year old diabetic cat went from looking a lot like your Posey to looking like he did 10 years ago just by treating his illness and keeping him on a low-carb wet food diet. He plays like he did when he was a kitten, though his vertical isn’t what it used to be. Old grey and white cats can’t jump.

  110. We have a cat who is slowly reaching the end of the road. Hubby doesn’t want to make the drive yet. She still eats, wants snacks, and can get around okay. We’re at least her 3rd owners. The people who had her before us were NOT nice. She would flinch when you went to pet her. All our cats get kisses on the head. Once she realized that what I was doing was a sign of human affection, I would stand above her, bent over, and ask for a kiss. She would stand on her hind legs and bump my lips with the top of her head. She despises children. (we don’t have any) She gets whatever she hollars for now-roast beef, chicken, hot dogs, Spam, until she’s full. Hopefully she’ll check out some night while we are asleep, but I’m not holding my breath on that one. Until then, she’ll get all the pets and loving we can give her.

  111. does anyone remember the harlequin pictures from the 60s with the kids with the freakishly large eyes? Yep, just saying….

  112. You’ll get no hate mail from me 🙂 but I don’t understand why you opted in on the meds? I do love cats but never have had any interest in long-term medicating them. Good luck with that. And I really don’t mean to sound harsh about it even though I do sound that way. Really…i love cats.

    (I adore my other two cats, but Posey is special. I’ve had him for my entire adult life and rescued him right before animal control came to put him to sleep. He sleeps with me every night and purrs so loud you can hear him in the other room. Two pills a day I can handle if it really does make him better. This is the same cat who helped me sing to orphans, so I sort of feel like I owe him. ~ Jenny)

  113. Yay Posey!

    FYI- Posey currently looks like the anime version of himself. I think you should get him a sword. So he can be like the cartoons.

  114. Posey looks like either he wants to eat your soul, or he’s been dipping into your stash and would feel really guilty about it if he wasn’t so high. He really needs a funny haircut or sweater or something to offset that Pinhead-from-Hellraiser stare.

  115. Ok you have like the worst vet ever. My dog could stand could hardly walk and had a growth on his shoulder and our vet was trying to save him. He was the same age as your cat. We decided not to let our poor Bob suffer. His ashes now sit by the front door and we often feel pangs of guilt. But it was better for our dog to not be in anymore pain plus he hated cars and the vet even more. If the vet had treated him it would have meant trips to the vet which would have stressed his old ass out. We really are good people, or that’s what we tell ourselves

  116. i don’t think he looks like Gollum, I think he looks like one of those big eye Keane painting…only from the planet Dune where the white turn kinda dark blue from all the spice.

    I’m just sayin’…..

  117. That’s how they pull you in to help pay their child’s way through college. “We can save him after three months of meds”. Why would you WANT to kill your pet? Other than the fact that the pet is 200 years old in pet years. What they don’t tell you is that they have to draw blood every two weeks because the meds they are now giving your cat will eventually eat his liver, both kidney’s, the spleen and his bladder.

  118. Hang on Posey… Posey hang on!
    Looking forward to the plumper version of Posey in 3 months. She really lucked out, actually returning home after “that” vet visit. I bet she told the other cats: “See. I told you they couldn’t kill me. I’m immortal after all.” You are lucky to have more time, and that she is not suffering.

  119. “This cats thyroid’s fucked up.”

    I just keep picturing some old guy in a white coat looking up at you and saying this with great aplomb.

    Also- your cat is an asshole. Just like every other awesome cat out there.

  120. Hah! Gollum. Hilarious!

    What I think is fucked up? That so many animals are getting “human” problems. Food allergies… thyroid problems… diabetes… it’s more expensive to take care of my animals than it is to take care of my kids – swear!

  121. My mom once said (while her cat had cancer and her mother was in the slow, tragic slide into dementia…) that it was so sad that we could put our pets out of their misery, we had to watch our beloved family members suffer for years.

    I hope the thyroid medicine works and gives you and Posey many more happy years together.

    But I hope you are giving yourself credit for being strong enough, and loving Posey enough to make the trip to the vet yesterday to release him from suffering. You are a wonderful pet owner. And a lovely person.

  122. Is Posey lethargic, and does he sleep all the time? That would describe just about every adult cat I know. I’m glad the vet could tell the difference. My Siamese lived to the ripe old age of 18, and I gave her pills for the last two years of her life. I didn’t mind at all. Small inconvenience for the love you get in return.

  123. $2,000. That’s the cutoff mark for when it’s OK for me to say we are going to just kill the fucking cat. That’s the maximum I am willing to spend on any given cat. And I have spent that much on two.

    And your cat is the scariest fucking cat I have ever seen. Which is a pretty big deal, considering that MY cat looks like that, too.

    But I hope the thyroid medicine works. I am, after all, not an asshole. Not to cats, anyway. Though because of cats I can’t have any nice things. Or carpeting.

  124. I’m not wanting to kill a cat… but I’d like to scare one pretty bad so it will run away and not come home. Does your vet perform those kinds of services?

  125. Aw, Posey is a pretty baby, anime eyes, rumpled coat, and all. He’s got a kind of tattered dignity about him. He reminds me of a photo I once saw of a very old man who had been quite the dashing playboy in his heyday and decades later, stooped and gaunt, was still parading around in the same tuxedo, now threadbare and tattered. Odds are, Posey has a good many years left in him. My sister had kitties that lived to 21, 22, and 26. Hang in there, old man. We’re pulling for you.

  126. I think you’re fucking with us all, that cat has definitely seen a taxidermist recently.

  127. same thing happened with my cat.. thyroid meds made her gain weight and be all kinds of healthy for a few more years.. almost made it to 18..

  128. My cat lived an additional three years on the thyroid meds. Option 2 was to take her to a special vet who would treat her thyroid with radioactive iodine, the end result being that she wouldn’t need meds through the end of her days but I would also have a radioactive cat, and radioactive cat turds, for a month. Tempting as it was, I elected not to shell out the $1,000 for that treatment because it wasn’t something I could commit to for a whole 30 days. I mean, I have trouble committing to a new shade of makeup for that long, much less scooping poop in a Hazmat suit or something.

  129. Why would you ever pay a vet to put your cat down? Don’t you own a hammer and a shovel? And why would you ever pay for Thyroid meds? Again, I pose the hammer and shovel question.

  130. aww, sweetie cat.

    mine has a thyroid thing too and she got a lot friendlier after meds.

  131. p.s. we use some kind of ear drops, not pills because she would never, ever take pills.

  132. We have a horse who has thyroid issues that we medicate on a daily basis to the tune of $30/month during the off season and $90/month when he’s racing. When his thyroid levels dip he looses weight at an alarming rate. He’s actually a better than average race horse as long as we keep a close eye on his thyroid function. Good for you for being responsible — regarding being willing to put him to sleep and for being willing to dole out the drugs!

  133. Blame your carpet, furniture, and everything in your house which has been treated with fire retardants containing PBDEs. Hyperthyroidism in cats was rare until these chemicals were introduced 30 years ago. Now it’s an epidemic. It’s not just cats – my husband is currently dealing with Grave’s Disease (a hyperthyroid disease) caused by this crap. On a bad day he looks just like your cat. Your kitty will get better on anti-thyroid meds.

  134. My old cat Ceefer (rip) was diagnosed with thyroid and heart troubles at the age of 14. With meds, he happily lived to 17, until a coyote(s) got him. He probably would have lived for another 5 years. Lesson: Keep your cat indoors and give them meds if they need it and the meds work. Ceefer was an outdoor cat, but he always was confined indoors before dark. One night he escaped as a result of the stove causing the smoke alarm to go off. He freaked and bolted out the door when my ex. briefly opened it to air out the kitchen. I found what was left of him the next morning. So I blame coyotes and my ex. for my best pal’s demise. Mostly my ex. I hate them. Cats+indoors=good. P.S. I am not bitter, he lived well and for that I am grateful. I have a new little buddy in my life now, strictly indoors (trying to leash train him, but he lays down and plays dead). He will live long and prosper.

  135. Been through the same roller coaster ride, Jenny. Samantha Louise was only 8 when she suddenly went into congestive heart failure while we were in the middle of dinner. Everyone else said she was panting because it was hot outside but I KNEW something was going on.

    Emergency vet recommended we have her euthanized…I said, “if you think it’s the right thing to do” but my husband said absolutely not. She stabilized but on the way to her regular vet the next morning, she crashed again. And came back again. Turned out it was her thyroid. Thank heavens we had a teaching veterinary hospital near us that would radiate her for a highly reduced rate. Damned cat lived another 10 years and NEVER forgave me for being the asshole who gave up on her.

  136. Really odd sensation: the photo is taking a long time to load, and I’m sitting here like “COME ON, I really really want to see a picture of an old cat that looks like Gollum. How am I just supposed to go on with my life if I don’t see it?”

  137. Yikes! I thought maybe your dad had already done his magic on Posey…. On account of the freaky eyes.

  138. So my cat had this same issue when she was 14. I was supposed to give her the pill every day for the remainder of her emaciated life. Long story short, someone introduced me to a vet gone holistic who convinced me to stop vaccinating the aging cat and switch her to a raw diet. She (the cat) lived to be 18-1/2 with no meds and died while we were on vacation under the care of my brother-in-law’s scarred forever girlfriend. The end. Do with it what you will. Good, however, if your cat doesn’t like being force fed pills.

  139. Awww poor gollum cat! If it helps my childhood cat I’d had since I was like 8 (I’m almost 28) is still alive even though she’s allergic to her own dander. I assume she’s living on pure grumpiness.

  140. Jenny–fuck those people who are giving you shit—everyone here knows you are a sweetheart…
    Those ass hats are sanctimonius sack-o-shits!

    You know what to do.

  141. Poor little Posey. I hope the meds help. We had a three-legged cat who we finally had to put down. It sucks having pets. (And it’s awesome.)

  142. On the subject of liver issues related to thyroid, my understanding is it’s not that the thyroid meds fuck up the cat’s liver, it’s just that liver problems are common in older cats and that thyroid issues put their system into such overdrive that it *masks* the liver problems. So it’s not uncommon to start treating the thryoid and then discover the cat’s liver is failing.

    And hooray for Posey! I hope things work out for him. We put our cat on thyroid meds about 6 months ago and he’s doing (as) great (as a 16 year old cat could be expected to be doing). He’s already gained back half of the 9 pounds or so that he lost. And it took us months to figure out something was wrong, that it might be treatable, and go to the vet.

  143. This is like the opposite of all Fat Loss Infomercials in the world. Before I was skinny, now, so happily, I am a fat cat!!

  144. Aw. That happened to our cat’s thyroid and he lived and thrived for many years. Posey looked just like our Floyd in that picture. Please post another in three months. Best wishes, Jenny.

  145. This *same* conversation took place at my in-laws’ house a while back, sans f-bomb. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, though it appears they think there is. At any rate, we regularly poked Tiger to make sure he was still alive.

    He’s passed on now.

    But for the better part of 12 YEARS, the cat was three paws in the grave.

    Hats off to you, Posey.

  146. I hope he pulls through it and lives to freak out your guests for a long time. I have 2 cats and will probably have a nervous breakdown when they start to get really old. You’re handling it very well!

  147. We had a seven-toed, diabetic grey tabby named Toby for 14 years. He required two shots of insulin every day of his life. Whenever he bottomed out, he also required “force-feeding” with a syringe. Over the course of his life, he also had nerve disorders, skin infections, worms of some sort and finally crippling constipation. He was an expensive mess. And every time things would start to look bleak, his vet would beg us to take him off our hands. She had a motley crew of disabled, three-legged beasts already at her house and thought he’d fit in perfectly. But we never gave him up … until things got so far gone that we knew we were punishing him by keeping him alive. We canceled our appointment to have him put down and had to reschedule three times before we actually went through with it.

    You are not an asshole. You brought him to the vet, didn’t you? Clearly you love your pets, the live ones and the stuffed. Take care of that sweet, kitty. He’s a cutie. Soulless eyes or not.

  148. OMG!!! We just put my husband’s 16 year old cat to sleep last month! She looked just like this, except that she had HUGE chunks of fur missing, too! She looked so bad that when we let her outside, we got nasty letters left on our front door from the neighbors threatening to call the ASPCA on us! When we took her to OUR vet, he never said one word about thyroid, he just put her down. I smell a LAWSUIT!!!

  149. Aw! Good luck! My cat has a thyroid condition and we use a trans-dermal gel in her ear for medication. It saves us from trying to jam pills in to her sharp end…. Much less stress for both of us (and less mangled skin for me!).

  150. My cat Norman had this problem and we took him to Radiocat in Atlanta for radioactive isotope treatment. It is 98% curable. He was 13 and lived 3 more healthy years.

  151. Hooray for Posey! Can’t wait to see the picture in three months. Cats ARE assholes. Mine likes to dump shit over, water bowls, glasses of milk, pretty much any liquid he can. He also hides behind curtains and attacks the dogs. He’s a fuzzy little asshole. (<– that sounded a lot less creepy in my head)

  152. You are way too funny, you keep me laughing. My husband doesn’t get the Jenny love, but he’s a Yankee, and I’m a Texan…so naturally I love you even more.

  153. My poor Bubba looks just like that! All skinny and nappy! He’s been getting skinnier and skinnier and he looks like the walking dead. 🙁 They found a thyroid nodule, but all his blood work comes back showing his thyroid as normal. I think I am going to ask the vet if we can try thyroid meds.

    Thanks for sharing, and I hope to see a healthy Posey picture in a few months!

  154. I think you might need a new exterminator…. given that yours was spooked pretty easily… in fairness, he’s probably not used to animals suddenly coming back to life…

  155. I love orange cats. My orangie has cost so much in vet bills I might have to take him to the vet to be put down to keep my wallet alive.


  156. Take another look at that picture. Then gaze deep into Posey’s eyes. That’s the cat who rules the world. Through hypnosis.

  157. Time to get a new exterminator if he can’t even tell when something’s dead. I mean if he came and told you that you had a highly organized army of killer rats in your basement, but it was okay because they were all dead. Would you believe him?

  158. What really pisses me off is that doctors don’t give you those same options with inlaws. I mean, that’s where we could truly use this kind of flexibility in health care. “Sir, your mother in law just needs some medication to clear up her congestion. But, we can ditch that idea if you’d rather just put her down.”

  159. A cat’s entire life’s goal is to make his owner feel like an asshole. So, you have a very successful cat. This is why I only have dogs…and rats, who are like dogs in tiny little rat suits.

  160. I am just glad that Posey isn’t a parrot. The exterminator never would have believed you.

    “He…er…resting. Or maybe pining for the fjords.”

  161. I had a cat with this! She looked a lot better on her pills, except for when we shaved her because she was a gross kitty who instantly turned in to a ball of mats…

  162. I bet Posey is all singing, “I’m a survivor!” TOO FUNNY!! You’re cat is hilarious and creepy too, sleeping with his eyes open. I hope he gets all better and outlives all your other animals.

  163. I love his huge, sorrowful eyes. I hope he’s better soon, and look forward to seeing the “after” pictures.

    My kitty lost a lot of weight, too. A year ago she was diagnosed with Stage 3 kidney disease, but is been doing well on the twice-weekly shots.

    I hope thyroid disease doesn’t require shots. That could start a whole new series of posts. Which, actually, might be funny.

  164. Oh, man, that must have been so weird. I’ve twice made The Decision and brought a cat in, and I’m picturing a last-minute reprieve like that. Coming back home with the cat.

  165. my vet told me that the chances a cat’s thyroid can be fixed, even with surgery, are slim. i had to put him down but it was very different than i thought it would be. the vet came to my house and i was able to hold him as he left. he went to sleep and then he was gone.

  166. He looks really good for 16! What is that in cat-years…like 140? I hope his medicine works! And I agree with above, he is adorable. Gollum is creepy as hell.

  167. I’m sort of wondering why the exterminator would think that you wouldn’t notice a dead cat sitting in your living room.
    “Ma’am, there’s a dead cat in here.”
    “Oh, we just leave it there to scare away the mice. They’re not too bright. The mice, that is. Not the dead cat. Plus this way we’ll know when the zombies start rising from the dead. Zombie cats are way easier to handle than zombie people.”

    Best wishes to your fluffy baby. I hope he feels better and less zombie-like soon.

  168. Posey’s mission in life is to make sure that uber fucked up Copernicus doesn’t murder you in your sleep. Don’t take his glory from him!
    PS. I hope he feels better soon.

  169. My beloved cat Willow had thyroid issues and once we got the dosage correct, she actually did put on weight. For a short period of time. She had cancer and the thyroid meds didn’t fix that. Good for Posey for continuing to keep you company!

  170. Put a fancy hat and a pair of boots on that cat and once you’ve recovered, you’ll have Puss in Boots’s understudy!

  171. Posey is still awesome. Although he has now endangered my marriage. Or at least made the strangers stare as my husband and I argue. HE says Posey totally looks like Gollum. I say he’s adorable and pathetic and I just want to cuddle him. HE says Posey would be scary as a taxidermied cat and would make you look over your shoulder. Hrrmph! I hope Posey makes it several more years. I had a cat live to 21.

  172. The Moosedawg is 13 and has a growth bigger than Posey. He is almost deaf and going blind. If I took him to the vet, I just know they could fix him right up for $5,000. But he is happy, mainly pain-free, and probably going to croak this year. After a happy life spent largely annoying my wife. My view: leave the moose loose. Hang in their Posey. Enjoy the drugs.

  173. Posey is very handsome and I’m glad the vet took a second look. I’m sure he looks forward to continuing to fuck with you and random service people for years to come.

  174. My cat has the same thing, skinny as fuck, & the meds just keep it from getting worse, but he doesn’t actually get any better. (and yes, his blood is checked twice a yr to see if the medications is doing it’s thing & it is). So, the meds have just put my cat into suspended animation. But, he’s not dead & not in pain, so it’s all good, right? And, there just might be a little bit of jealousy on my side. I have NEVER been skinny! 🙂

  175. I, for one, am nothing but pleased that your cat is alive, because dead cats SUCK. I know this, because I have one in my purse.

  176. You know what, I would be really pissed at the vet. It took so much courage for you to make that trip in the first place. I’m proud of you and I wish I had some of that…my dachshund is about that age. Remember, there will be a time and it is okay to let go. Just keep giving him and yourself good days…

  177. OHMYHELL–I’m sorry, and I’m a cat person and all that, but seriously–dude–YOUR CAT IS DEAD. The exterminator had it right the whole time.

    My in-laws had a barn cat that was in a series of scuffles resulting in some infected and highly nasty open gaping wounds on his head. It didn’t have a name so I called it Zombie Cat. Finally they took him to the vet and got him fixed and he stopped getting into fights and his wounds healed, so now Zombie Cat doesn’t suit him and I call him Steve.

    I think I just found a new Zombie Cat.

  178. and actually now that i get another look at Zombie Cat a/k/a Posey, i’m very sad because he looks EXACTLY like my jake except jake weighs about 20 pounds and is about 100 years younger. so basically i’m looking at my future, wherein jake becomes an OLD CAT who just lays around and smells bad waiting to die. now i need a drink.

  179. …I recently said that all cats are cute, and Posey *is* cute… in a really creepy way. Holy carp.

    That said, thyroid problems can be managed, and I really hope Posey’s is, and that he’s feeling better soon, poor dear. Fingers crossed.

  180. Of all the posts I’ve read of yours, this one struck me as the funniest. I have NO idea why. Good job.

  181. Live, Posey, live! I’m already fucked up enough just knowing that Jenny’s cat COULD die, do you have any idea what will happen to me if you actually DO die? Like how I made it all about me?

  182. We have an old cat that is looking just like your posey. Wonder what her thyroid is like? I thought it was just old age. May have to go have her checked now.


  183. Thanks…I just realized because of reading your post that I have the same problem with my cat. Don’t feel like you’re alone; I now join the ranks of asshole-dum too.

  184. Awwwww – Posey!

    Hey, my grandma had a cat with thyroid issues. Once they found out that was the problem and started giving her meds, she lived to be 21. Seriously. So Posey could have several years left.

  185. Aww, poor sweet kitty! I hope he feels better soon. Bless you for taking care of your baby.

  186. Same deal with our Gilly . . . but I nearly shit when they said we could have radiation therapy for her if we wanted to . . . at $1,000.

  187. I’m glad your vet found that what your cat has is treatable. I’m sorry he was such an asshole about it. My answer would have been. “Thanks for the info, I’m taking him somewhere else for treatment” You don’t deserve to be treated like that and made to feel like an asshole. *Especially* by someone who will be asking for payment at the end of the conversation. He is not the Pope, you can talk back to him. You are his boss. Feel free to fire his assholiness.

  188. I felt the same way about my 17 year old dog. Having pets is rough sometimes – hope your kitty does well on the meds.

  189. that is one seriously ugly cat. you must be a true humanitarian, i mean feline-atarian… whatever. ick

  190. OK, first, your post made me LOL. I could just picture it! Second – I had a cat that was the same as you describe. Really looked like he was on death’s door. Started the thyroid medicine and he was GREAT, for several years! Good luck.

  191. I’ve just started working at an assisted living facility, and I have one resident who does the exact opposite–her eyes are closed, so you gently call her name to try to wake her up, and she hollers, “Yeah?” because she was awake and just ignoring everyone. 🙂

  192. So you know those phone apps you can take a picture and then adjust the image to give you perkier boobs and take away that 2nd chin? yeah. THAT.

    Also, awesome, awesome Posey. Can’t wait to see ya in a few months.

  193. As a vet, I’d love to outright tell someone that something about their animal is “fucked up.” No such luck. I need to keep my job and the boss frowns on that. I think it’d be entertaining for me and clients. I need my own practice. When I apply for a small business loan I’ll just tell them it’s so I can say “fucked up” to clients. Totally gonna make millions. Brilliant business plan.

    Also, don’t worry, he’ll probably die soon anyway because the hyperthyroidism is fucking up his heart and keeping his kidneys alive. Whether you treat it or not, the cat is gonna kick it. Sorry.

  194. I was waiting for lines about “but his feet are nailed to the perch” or “pining for the fjords”

    16 is not that old, I know a cat who is 21 and still frisky and enjoying life, and one a similar age who’s been on thyroid meds for as long as I’ve known her (she’s about 19 now)

    Can’t wait to see Posey’s buff handsome self in 3 months.

  195. The Other Vet… yes all living beings die, and our pets usually before we’re ready for them to.
    However, it’s possible, even Highly Likely that Posey has several good years on him.

  196. Hyperthyroidism? My cats looked exactly the same but my vet never told me we could give them meds and they may have had some more time. If Posey has the same thing they had I’m pissed as hell at my vet.

  197. hah! How awesome would it be if someone thought you were dead and then you scared the shit out of them (by meowing or talking or whatever). I sleep with my eyes open so I feel like i have the potential to do this someday. Good stuff.

  198. we had a cat with a thyroid problem. once diagnosed, we got his meds under control and he put weight back on and thrived for many years. best of luck. the asshole feeling goes away once the relief and healing begins 🙂

  199. So I am completely addicted to rice candy, and your blog. Only one comes with free stickers in the box, which is unfortunate, because if you offered stickers it would be the best thing ever. It occurs to me that I have not been reading your blog longer than a week and you MIGHT offer stickers, so I will reserve judgement until I fully research your sticker offerings. Because I’m nice like that.

    Anyway, my candy came with the. most. bizarre sticker. ever. It’s two seagulls looking at a parachuting fish like he’s insane. It’s awesome. So I’m going, dude, that’s a parachuting fish. I showed it to my boyfriend who wanted to know why the fish didn’t have wings instead. Well it’s a fish, obviously. Fish don’t have wings. Duh.

    I just started reading your blog and I adore you. I also feel very at home. Which says a lot about my homelife. I think. Don’t read too much into it. My home is nothing like this. It has like, 98% more honeybadgers.

  200. Gollum was a sneaky mother fucker. All bipolar and shit…

    The jokes make me laugh and all…but at the same time I look at my old little man (of the canine variety) and I know that someday this will be me….

  201. That looks like a picture of a sweet, young, thin, precious kitty. You were going to kill THAT? I think all your friends like Copernicus are messing with your head. Poor almost -killed kitty.

  202. Your cat looks like Gollum… I think Gollum just looks like my cat. And I think Posey looks pretty good for his age! He’s pretty compared to the toothless old bruiser that clomps his way around my house!

  203. I had a cat who had diabetes and, yes, that means two insulin shots a day. Then 4 years later he developed a thyroid problem and took pills. He managed to live for 5 more years and died at 18 from cancer.

  204. Actually, if it was truly accidental it wouldn’t be murder….it would be catslaughter or, at worst, negligent homicide. Sucks, though, ‘cuz cats do hold a grudge…..

  205. We have the same problem with our cat, Dexidrin. She was getting really skinny and would not SHUT UP ALREADY all night. Found out it was her thyroid and now I have to squirt meds in her twice a day. Fun times. Payback is a bitch and so am I.

    We weigh her weekly on our Wi. I make my son do it so I don’t have to face my stupid mi telling me I am fat.

    And yes, all our pets are named after pharmaceuticals. We have two dogs, Paxil and Lunesta and a shitload of cats… Haldol, Valium, Dexidrine, Librium, and Buspar. Why stop at just one. We used to have a dog name Benadryl, and at one time had to give benadryl to paxil, which really made my vets day.

  206. Ah yes, a fucked up thyroid. My cat had one of those. Sadly, we had him put down this past summer, but only after a year or more of meds for his fucked up thyroid. He was ancient and looked very much like Posey.

  207. When I saw the big black eyes, I thought you had Photoshopped the kitty. He has a kind of spooky thing going there. It works with his zombie-like rise from the pseudo dead, too.

    My cat is 15+ years old, and nobody can tell… or that he has chronic renal disease, either. That’s because I spend an absolute fortune and tons of time on making his homemade food and giving him every supplement recommended by the vet, plus another few. Everyone admires what a gorgeous, healthy-looking kitty he is. They don’t have to clean up his frequent puke, though. I’m dreading having to do the subcutaneous fluids… got the kit, but it’s not a one-person job. Cat will not be happy.

  208. My cat, that we’ve had longer than my kid, died on Tuesday. We sort of knew it was coming, but I kept telling myself (and that damn cat) she was going to live another 10 years. That bitch didn’t listen.
    I called into work Tuesday and my eyes have been puffy and swollen since then, I keep cursing the cat.
    She is buried in our yard now. I’m begging my husband for a tomb stone for the cat, ya know, since he doesn’t have to buy one for me yet.
    Fucking cat. Why did you have to die?

  209. wow. The vet just literally left my house before I turned the computer on and read this…
    The best part is that my little girl just escaped the Grim Reaper for the second time in a week.
    Chronic Renal Failure. Water just goes straight through her and the little piggy actually stopped eating. for the first time in her life.
    But after 6 days on IV fluids, although medically there was little improvement, she was feeling much better and started eating again. The vet & I thought she would go straight downhill again after coming off the drip this week so we booked a home euthanasia for today (longest week I’ve ever had). But we both agree she’s much more spritely than expected.
    I admit, after agonising for a couple of weeks, I am ready to let her go but it seems she isn’t. And that’s just awesome. I’m under no illusion, she’s very near the end and I know the signs to look for, but I will give her every extra day she wants.

  210. I’m so glad you finally took your cat to the vet. It’s a totally treatable condition…if Posey responds well, get the I-131 treatment done, at 16, still could have 3-4 years left. Don’t bother with having the thyroid gland removed, its a old procedure and the I-131 is now considered the gold standard and curative.

    Just as a piece of “that’s neat info” cats rarely become HYPOthyroid, they are nearly always HYPERthyroid. Vice versa for dogs.

  211. I’m SO glad to hear your is ok… for now anyway and possibly for the future as well… cuz I’m trying to think positive.. 🙂

    my last cat had diabetes.. and the vet basically said there was almost no point in trying treatment because she was 10 years old and it was too old to deal with the stress and management of diabetes… so I put her down… she was losing the use of her back legs.. it was the hardest thing I’ve had to do …cuz all my cats previously were outdoor as well and just seemed to disappear….

    your cat is super adorable and I look forward to more pics!!

  212. There’s actually a new food for hyperthyroid cats, the problem being that you have two other cats who should not eat the special hyperthyroid cat food.

    I treated my own cat with meds (he was easy to pill) but he experienced some side effects so I sent him for radioactive iodine treatment. Totally worth it; he lived four more years, until his kidneys failed.

    I’m a veterinarian myself, but I work only on horses. Re: #198: adult horses do NOT get thyroid disease; this is occasionally seen in foals, but never in well-nourished adults. Thyroid disease in the horse has been disproven over the last decade, and no up-to-date veterinarian should be making this “diagnosis”. Thyroid levels can drop as a result of the horse having another underlying problem. If your racehorse loses weight at an alarming rate, I’d be far more concerned about gastric ulcers. Of course, it costs about $40/day to treat gastric ulcers for the first month, then about $10/day to manage (vs. $90/month).

  213. What is it about old cats and their noses? They always look moth eaten like they have some kind of mangy disease. Is it from that sand paper tongue? Or perhaps because they don’t have all their senses so they stick thier face right in their food to find it? Does the nose just give up and say “Ok after a life time of constantly being stuck up between my own legs I can’t stand my own stink so just gonna die now, the rest of me can follow like whenever?”

    Enquiring minds want to know!

  214. I’m so, so glad that there’s something fairly easy to do for Posey. We had to put down my mom’s dog unexpectedly last week and I’m still reeling from it. I didn’t realize how much I loved her til I couldn’t hug her anymore.

    So give Posey a kiss for me, and know I’m thinking of you, and so, so happy that you get to have Posey terrify people for a while longer.

  215. for me, a huge part of owning pets is taking on the responsibility of ensuring that their life (and death) is as uneventful and pleasurable as possible. putting an animal down is a heart-wrenching decision, but one that needs to be made at some point. you are lucky if you have the chance to give your friend the gift of alleviating their pain and suffering. to merely be breathing is not enough; quality of life needs to be taken into consideration.
    can ya tell i have been in this situation a time or two? having pets is wonderful and i cannot (will not) imagine my life without them. luckily, the little fuckers make up for the stuff that blows donkey balls. kinda like my kids. 🙂
    good luck with your lovely. you are doing the right thing for your friend and for you.

  216. My cat looked like he was ready to go for a while there until we found out he had a thyroid problem. He ended up having his thyroid(s?) removed entirely and got better really quickly.

    And he lived to be 22 years old. Not half bad 🙂

  217. Both of our cats are older and have hyperactive thyroids. We smush a pill in their canned food and mix with water twice a day and they are both doing great! Apparently it’s a pretty common problem for older kitties. Glad your vet caught it and glad you decided to not kill kitty. lol

  218. As a person who grew up on a horse farm with hundreds of barn cats throughout the years, I can’t look at that picture of Posey without laughing. I don’t know why either.

  219. Jenny, I love your posts here at the Bloggess. I love your “Ill-Advised” parental advice column. But I am begging you not to start a “pet care” blog. For one thing, PETA will burn you in effigy. Or actually, since it’s PETA we’re talking about, scratch the “in effigy” part.

  220. Maybe Posey’s been dead for a while and has just been the zombie-spy at your house for the zombie apocalypse! You are naturally going to be the leader of the Anti-Zombie coalition after all…

  221. You’d think an exterminator would know how to tell the difference between a dead cat and one that’s just trying to psyche everyone out. You really trust this guy to kill your scorpions and stuff? Don’t be surprised if he says, “Okay, all the bugs and snakes and chupacabras under your house are taken care of. They’re not gonna bother you ever agai… oh, wait! That one was just sleeping with his eyes open! Or maybe has a thyroid problem. I better do some more exterminating.”

  222. posey is beautiful!!!!!!!!! and i’m NOT a cat girl!
    seriously, the dialogue of the exterminator made me spit out my sip of H20.
    thanks for the entertainment.
    and i hope that posey lives for a long, long time.

  223. I had an old cat. When he was about 16 or so, I had to put him on thyroid meds. It made a huge difference in his health! He ended up living for another 3 years, the picture of health! His kidneys finally gave out when he was 19. He became sick very quickly, then we put him to sleep. He wasn’t sick for long.

    You’ll probably be amazed at the change with the thyroid meds!

  224. I’m assuming part of the reason for that facial expression is that Posey realizes what a narrow escape he’s had (at least, MY cat always assumes each trip to the vet is going to be The Big One). My sister’s cat lived for years after he started thyroid meds, so I hope they work for poor Posey, too.

  225. Just some info for all of you out there with cats with Hyperthyroid. Apparently there is some research that suggests that it is caused by all of the chemical flame retardants and stain guards in our carpets and upholstery and such. Scary, and reminds me of the “canary in the coal mine” thing, so we have opted for no more carpeting, all eco friendly wood, makes me worry about the kids, who spend as much time on the floors as the cat. Our cat had hyperthyroidism and was put on 1/2 a pill once a day, then upped to twice a day then upped to a whole pill twice a day. She used to take the flavoured kind, then we had to hide it in treats, and finally we had to much it and mix it with mushy food. 2 months ago she disappeared. I kind of think she went out and hid to die, the medication was no longer working (the tumour on the thyroid can continue to grow). She lived with it for 4 years, but the medication would make her nice and plump and happy, then it would quit working so we’d up the dosage and she’d be happy again. The last time we upped it the vet said it was the most she could take, and she was still getting thinner and her heart was still racing. Poor girl, she was only 14:(

  226. p.s. Hyperthyroidism can lead to kidney failure so take her for regular vert checks:)

  227. ROFL. Thank you so much. I needed that laugh. And I’m glad the cat will (hopefully) be okay. And I so would have done the same thing as you. So don’t feel too bad.

  228. Craig Ferguson says that if you die alone in your home that your cat will eat you.

    Posey has made me a believer.


  229. He is the creepiest, most adorable cat I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen cats faced with overly playful dogs. Yeah, not a pretty sight.

    That boy has life in his eyes. It’s like he KNOWS you tried to off him, but in a good way. And he knows that the nastiness you shove down his throat every day (unless he’s a freak cat who takes his medicine like a good boy) will ultimately make him better. But you have to work for it. Because he’s a cat and that’s how they work.

  230. In college I house-sat for two semesters for some people with a nineteen-year old cat. Every day I was scared to death that cat was going to die even though you never would have thought from his behavior and appearance that he was anything but a young, healthy cat…with the deepest, most throaty meow of any cat ever.

    He sadly passed away a couple of years after my house-sitting gig. I was sad because he was a super sweet cat, but also because I never did record that meow of his.

  231. Dude. That cat’s an alien. See, I know about these things because I once saw an episode of Kid Vs Kat and OK yeah that cat was one of those hairless things and yours has fur but they both have those creepy alien eyes and Posey’s fur is probably just a clever disguise to throw you off the trail because everyone knows aliens don’t have hair except for that alien bigfoot in that episode of Six Million Dollar Man but other than that yeah totally bald so you should probably be on the lookout for Posey exhibiting odd behavior like sleeping with his eyes open or disappearing and reappearing randomly or… Huh.

  232. I’m cracking up at all of these people getting incensed at the vet. They are obviously new and don’t get your unique way of translating everyone’s speech to your vernacular!

    I think Google Translate needs a Bloggess feature!

  233. I’m glad your cat is alive, if only, for posts like this. Seriously, I laughed for like 10 minutes at the Gollum caption. Mind you, I was on a conference call… SHIT!

  234. Aww but Posey is an adorably cute Gollum.

    I love when you go to the vet and 1 they know what’s wrong, 2 they know how to fix it!


  235. I had an old cat, same age as Posey. She was in bad shape and needed to be put to sleep but I couldn’t do that because my son loved her so much. To make it even more difficult, about that time we moved to a different state. My son was in middle school and hated me already, so putting his cat to sleep wasn’t going to help at al. Well, the poor kitty suffered months longer than she should have before she had a stroke and we took her to a new vet. And the vet started to lecture me when we finally took her in to put her to sleep. Asshole. Seriously, don’t vets have kids?

  236. I had a dog with a thyroid problem. I found out because patches of her hair fell out and I thought she had a flesh eating virus and was afraid to touch her. Turns out, it was just her thyroid. A couple grand in vet bills later and I sort of wished it had been a flesh eating virus, and then I felt like an asshole.

  237. Bless you for doing the right thing. Gathering the courage and resolve to take a pet in to end their pain is one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do. Getting a reprieve from actually doing so once you get there must have been a startling relief.

  238. You know what they say…your pet can’t make you feel like an asshole unless you are one.

    No wait. I mean, unless you let them.

    Definitely one of those.

    I hope Posey feels better soon. And you too.

  239. I had a fish that swam upside down and floated to the surface. Everyone would be like ‘your fish is dead’ and I’d tap on the glass and be like ‘no, its cool he does that.’ I’m sure every day was a struggle for poor Clarence but I thought it was fucking amazing that I had in my tank a fish that could not swim yet outlived all the other fish in the tank.

  240. I love that your exterminator was startled by your decrepit cat…I mean, imagine the stuff he routinely encounters.

  241. I feel like Posey is breathing through his eye sockets DIRECTLY at us. Daring us to take the bet: will he or won’t he make it to the 3 months “after” picture. My money’s on, he makes it and shames us all by posing for a new picture in 9 months…under the still erect 2011 Christmas tree.

  242. Oh that poor pumpkin. I’m pulling for a whiplash fast full recovery. Hugs to the little nugget.

  243. I incorrectly believed exterminators were unflappable.

    Honestly–the cat doesn’t look good. But neither will I when I reach that age. You age and slowly dessicate. It’s the way the world turns.

    Hope the meds work! Better living through chemistry…

  244. One of my cats had to go on those meds and he looked a lot better once he was on them. Go Posey! I think we need a #teamposey hash tag.

  245. Um… is this the first time you’ve taken this cat to the vet in a while? Because the thyroid information would have been very useful to you before you decided to kill him.

    Persist, Posey. Persist.

  246. Posey is absolutely adorable! Hopefully the meds work for him. And this post makes me laugh in a totally fucked-up way because we just found out out 14 year old cat has leg cancer. We are not going with the only treatment option of amputation, and I just hope I don’t find my cat dead in the living.

  247. Cats are amazing AKA spooky, like that. My friend just had to have her cat Topaz put down. I think she was 106 in human years. She looked alienesque at the end; but could still kick most dogs butts.

  248. Enjoy your little gollum kitty, chances are Posey will hang around a LONG time just to soak up any extra special treatment and lovin’ you have to offer just to make up for not killing him. I have an old dog with Pemphigus, so basically her immune system attacks the layers of skin, and if it weren’t for the wonderful/terrible drug prednisone every day her face would bubble up and rot. We thought she had six months or so. That was four years ago. Lucky little bitch has gotten all kinds of extra treats and walks and pets, and….. ;p

  249. A couple of years ago my 15 year old cat, Hobbes, went from being kind of thin and lazy to gaunt and lethargic and wheezing a lot, so I took her to the vet. The vet told me that she had liver cancer that had metastasized to her lungs. I wasn’t going to put her through medical misery just to buy her a few more months, so I was afraid I was going to have to put her to sleep then and there; I didn’t want her to suffer.

    But the vet said that though she was uncomfortable, she wasn’t in any pain yet, and that steroids would help her breathe more easily. I’d at least have a few weeks to say good-bye.

    So I took her home and gave her the steroids and all the gooshyfoods and cheezburgers she could eat. Her breathing cleared up within a few days, and she started to gain back the weight she’d lost and then some. Her fur got shinier and she began to move around more, climb, and even play.

    After a few months of continued health, I got my nerve up and took her for a second opinion. This vet took one look at her and said “this cat doesn’t have cancer.” He x-rayed her and saw asthma in her lungs and arthritis in her hips, but said that the steroids had been helping both of those. The protein in her urine was elevated, so he put her on special food for her kidneys.

    Because the steroids are bad for her kidneys, I need to bring her in to get her levels checked every six months. (Not that I’m going to take her off them, I would much rather maintain her quality of life than extend the quantity.) The last time I brought her in, everybody was saying how gorgeous she was. Nobody could believe she was just a couple weeks shy of her seventeenth birthday!

    I hope Posey’s thyroid meds work as well as Hobbes’s steroids, and that he has many more happy years of trolling exterminators. He’s the cutest freaky-looking Gollum cat ever!

  250. Was he sleeping in that picture? Please tell me he is asleep in that picture! Because that would be awesome. Creepily awesome.

  251. She is the best cat ever! Imagine if you could train her to play dead then “meow” at Bible Thumpers when they came knocking on your door? You’d have them all dancing and praisin’ the Lord for her miracle resurrection, then word would spread and Posey’d be know as the Miracle Cat and you as the Miracle Cat Mama. There’d be reporters, tv cameras, and I bet Posey’d get enough catnip gifts to be singing “Hallelujah” all day and night. And you’d be rich!

    Yes, this is a plan. A good one. Now, how to get Posey to come live with me…

    Oh, er, I mean, she’s very cute.

    PS No offense to Bible Thumpers, we’ve all gotta thump something once in a while!
    PPS Hope Posey is good and getting healthier. And not just for my own Posey-Jesus Scheme, either. 🙂

  252. Posey’s just trying to lure you into a false sense of security…he’s going to pull out a rapier and a cape in just a second!

  253. Bloggess. Huge fan!
    You need to check this gal out – she’s along your same line of humor and we need to support fucked up female funny! My best friend turned me on to her. She just started out. She’s not too bad.

  254. Posey will stay alive as long as it takes to locate his precious ring, and once he finds it he will gingerly place it upon the gnarled finger of copernicus and they will slink away into the sunset never to be heard from again.

  255. I was currently in the process of looking for a new Dr. because my current “provider” feels I need Jesus instead of medication for my overwhelming depression. This blog entry made me laugh. I think it was the picture caption “My cat looks like Gollum”. Crisis averted. Thank you.

  256. aw Posey is a cutie… I hope he responds. I’m LOVING how he effed up the exterminator … bet that guy went home and had a beer… or 12

  257. My 16 year old cat has the same thyroid problem and the meds do work wonders. Her vet diagnosed her by *holding* her. She lifted her up, looked at me and said “How long has she been like this? You know, the slight quivering? What do you mean you never noticed??” Like I was some kind of asshole for not being the kitty Dr. House.

  258. Awww, poor Posey! I’m glad she didn’t have to die, and I hope the meds give her lots and lots of time to guilty trip you.
    Messing with the exterminator dude is awesome. I don’t sleep with my eyes open, but I love to scare the mess out of people by pretending to be asleep and then making a vampire face at them when they lean over me to say how cute I look when I’m sleeping. You should try it with Victor sometime. It’s effing hilarious!

  259. Is there any way you could tell me that the photo of Posey is doctored in some way? Because otherwise it’s going to give me nightmares. No doubt about it.

  260. How precious…; )

    Hope Posey shows us how it’s done. Heal my feline friend.

    Thanks for this post, I needed a smile today. Friday sucks.

  261. Lucky! I just spent $630 trying to figure out why my cat is all skin and bones and they can’t find ANYTHING wrong with her. Not diabetes or thyroid problems or cancer or inflamed anythings. So they gave me probiotics and some gastrointestinal food I have no confidence in because it’s made out of shitty ingredients and I’m just supposed to hope she gets better, I guess. T_T

  262. Cute kitty! We had that with our cat Nigel. He went to fat cat to frail thin. Soon as he started taking the meds in about a few weeks he was looking good again. Good luck with that. Love your blog!

  263. So maybe someone already told you but my ADD was kicking in and I couldn’t finish all the replies. BUT…… I have a cat who looks like a holocaust survivor too. Been taking thyroid meds for a couple years. Just found out that Hills Science Diet just came out with a THYROID PRESCRIPTION FOOD! It’s “YD”. We just started and already are reducing his daily dosages. Within 3 weeks he should be off completely. Check into it.

  264. Google “Hills Science Diet YD”. I don’t think my last attempt at a post worked because I linked the site. Thyroid food JUST RELEASED by Hills prescription foods!! Mine just started last week!

  265. Posey is not creepy in the least. I want to give him a cat treat and rub his old man belly.

    Can all you other comentors please stop killing the Copernicus and gollom thing? Leave the punch lines to Jenny. Seriously, it’s fucking annoying.

  266. I’m surprised your exterminator would even notice another undead animal in your house. I mean, that’s kind of mundane at your place, isn’t it? Also, he’s a fucking idiot and needs to quit huffing the bug juice.

    I didn’t know Copernicus is a vet!

    I had a cat who was on maintenance meds for about half of his life. You get used to it and so does the cat. Posey has a lot of possibilities left, and a lot more opportunities to make you feel like an asshole. Go Posey!

    All 8 of my pets spend every moment of the day making me feel like an asshole. It took me a while to figure out that’s their job.

    We all know how hard it was for you to take Posey to be put down. That’s a very loving thing you were going to do and not an asshole move in any way. Give yourself a break, why don’t you?

  267. Aw, poor Posey. I’m sorry.

    Also – wanted to give you a heads up…I tried subscribing to your blog via the RSS feeder and get nothing but gobble-de-gook.

  268. One time my husband found that my cat had been hit by a car and killed. He buried him before I got home from work. That evening I was out in the garage doing laundry when who should appear? My cat, Mason! I tell you the hair stood up on my head. Turns out he had buried somebody else’s dead cat!

  269. Yay for Posey! Our beagle was a tad overweight and we found out she was producing no thyroid hormone. She’s been on thyroxine for a couple of years and is back to her svelte self (until my mother visits and uses our dogs as grandchildren substitutes and gives them dog treats every five minutes).

  270. I have a 16 year old cat with the same condition. Now she gets pills twice a day, which is super fun. I give her appetite stimulants since she will only lick the canned cat food instead of eat it. (She stopped eating dry cat food and drinking out of the communal water bowl, which lead to dehydration, diarrhea, puking, and an emergency room visit.) Her most recent behavior change is refusing to pee in a litter box. I have to buy dog training pads because she will pee on my carpet. I have cleaned my carpet more in the last year than I did in the last 10 years. (and that’s saying a lot because I love clean carpets. Which makes this situation all the harder.)

    I do it because I love her and she is my first “child”. I tell my boyfriend she is one of my most favorite people in the world. He reminds me she isn’t a person. She’s worth it.

  271. There is a new diet from Science Diet called y/d
    Ask your vet if he didn’t mention it…it’s supposed to support those thyroid Kitties with out medication! ! ! We had several clients get a starter kit for free..maybe you can get in on that deal! Good luck

  272. Did the vet really say that your cat’s thyroid is “fucked up”? If so, that’s awesome. I need this vet. My vet just tells me that my cat is probably not peeing because he’s tramatized from having his balls cut off but then it turns out he’s bleeding internally so they charged me 800 dollars for fixing him. Not awesome.

  273. So this is a completely off-topic comment, but I discovered your blog right after I moved to San Antonio to take a 10-month position at a museum. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for years and the combo of new place, boyfriend breaking up with me, and social stress from new job means I am just constantly freaked the fuck out. Reading The Blogess is the first thing that has made me laugh out loud in a long, LONG time, and I am so grateful that you’re here. My co-workers are all lovely people, but none of them understand that even a simple social gathering is hard for me, and that my happy place isn’t out at a bar but home alone, reading and playing on the interwebs. This fact used to make me feel really sad and hopeless and like I will never be normal. But then I read your blog and feel okay. I feel like I’m not alone. And it helps.

    So thank you. I appreciate it to the ends of the earth and back.

  274. Vets (and even more so, vet techs) are really good at making you feel like an asshole. When I had my 12 year old cat at the emergency vet because he was essentially in a coma, the vet told me that it was possible he wouldn’t recover, but it was also possible that a very expensive treatment would give him another year or two of life. While I was tearfully debating whether to invest in this treatment that may or may not work or, you know, pay my rent, the tech very compassionately told me, “Well, if it were my cat, I think I’d do whatever I had to do to save him.” I still regret that I didn’t rip that bitch’s hair out of her head. And I decided that 12 years was a good long life for a cat and it wouldn’t do much good to save his life if it would mean I could no longer afford to feed him.

  275. OMG I cannot WAIT to read about your adventures trying to get the meds in the cat. Godspeed, Jenny. May the force be with you.

  276. Yeah for meds! But I have to ask…have we seen a picture of cat-fucking-with-us-and-sleeping-with-his-eyes-open? Because if there was one, I missed it. And if there hasn’t been, well, you’re just wasting your camera. Okay, not wasting. There have been some damn great usage of that camera. But still. SHARE PLEASE!

  277. I think you are trying to do the right thing for your cat. That’s not selfish, it’s just hard to know what is right.

  278. Do you really read all these? Because I paid one thousand dollars to save my cat’s hip once. He broke it running around somewhere. He loved being outside, so it seemed cruel to keep him in. Except, that amount of money for a broken bone seemed cruel. Hopefully, you aren’t reading all of these, because this one is completely pointless. Sorry.

    (Luckily, I didn’t read this one. ~Jenny)

  279. I think it’s great you’ve opted to treat him instead of have him put to sleep. You’re a good person. 🙂

  280. That is fantastic news! I had to put my kitty Charlie to sleep the other day. I would have given anything in the world to save him. He was only five. Make the most of the extra time.

  281. My old cat had the exact same problem! I’ve been putting thyroid Meds in her ears twice a day for the last 2 years. She’ll be 17 in january! She’s kind of a pissy mentally ill psychotic old lady. Who stares at the wall and yowls a lot…but she’s my pissy mentally mentally ill psychotic cat…..

  282. Siilhouette is twenty. He’s not weezy yet, but he’s basically bones held together by fur. He is, right now, screaming at me because I’m not feeding him exactly the food he wants RIGHT NOW.

    He’s on thyroid meds, too. Good luck with Posey’s. The only way to get them down Silly’s neck is salmon-flavored pill pockets. ONLY salmon-flavor.

  283. Poor baby! I hope the medicine helps! My cat’s around the same age, but she has the opposite problem. As much as I hate to call names, she’s a fattie. Not because she’s rotund, but because we have to feed the other cat in her kennel to keep Hungry Hippo away…who then puts her paws IN the kennel and scoops the food out with her paw. Sigh.
    But while you’ve got a Gollum there, look around for a shiny gold ring. You could become the dark overlord of the blogging world.

  284. Ok wait. I laugh at EVERY ONE of your posts except this one. I lost my best friend last year (who happened to be a 16 year old cat). I loved her dearly, and can’t yet appreciate your jokes in this post. Give me another couple of years and maybe, but who has the attention span to troll through posts over a week/day old?

  285. Dear God! Compared to that adorable photo of fluffy curious Posey you keep posting this looks terrifying. I’m glad you got the poor cat to a vet who recognized the problem, score big points for your vet. Can’t wait for the three months photo.

  286. Well dayum. I think you’ve solved the mystery of my incredible skinny cat. Off to the vet we go for some blood work!

  287. My 16 yr old got this too. I paid the $1,000 and gave him radiotheraphy treatment. very easy, non invasive, one tablet and he is wonderful. I have the original cat back again! This is really easily treated and your cat will feel much better cause it takes the pressure of the liver and heart. Do it!

  288. Thyroid problems are very common in kitties. My cat (who is only around 9 or 10) has hypothyroidism, and the meds fix everything. You will be pleased, and Posey will be around for years to come. 🙂

    Remember, in the future if anything changes with your cat (weight gain/loss, appetite, behavior, etc), talk to the vet!

  289. I had a cat with a thyroid problem and he lived to be 17 (was diagnosed with the thyroid problem when he was 12) and had another one with diabetes and a thyroid problem and well he didn’t last as long, but that was really from the diabetes and other health issues he had. praying your kitty lives forever.

  290. No one has asked the most obvious question…what’s a male cat doing with a name like “Posey”? I’ll bet he’s gotten you back time and time again for that one!

  291. Kit Russell really has it right. It’s amazing what drugs can do. Also vets aren’t always right. We took our old dog, Lucky, to the vet because he wasn’t eating and the dumb-ass said he allergies. A day later we went to our horse vet who was like WTF he’s in acute renal failure.

    On the other side of the coin, South Alice (thoroughbred mare) was old-ish and chronically lame. We had the vet out to discuss treatment options and went with the cheapest and a dose of tough love (she’d been in a pen alone so none of the others could hurt her and we turned her out with someone who’d chase her around). Turns out that after babying her for years, all she really needed was to be “abused.” Five years later we put her down due to complications from cancer.

    By the way, the vet who commented above sounds a lot like the dumb ass who couldn’t tell renal failure from hay fever.

  292. Last summer I spent $3,000 saving my Chihuahua’s life and do you know how she repaid me? By shitting on my expensive DARK BROWN carpet. Also possibly saving my life when someone tried to break into our house. But it’s hard to remember that when you have to search for dog shit on a dark brown carpet every morning.

    I saved my dog’s life and I get poop. You almost killed your cat on purpose…I can’t imagine what might happen to you. Be vigilant. Cats can be sneaky and vindictive.

  293. We had a cat with hyperthyroid, age 15. Because her thyroid levels were not too incredibly low and she was otherwise very healthy, we got her the radioactive iodine treatment (we were lucky to have a treatment center only an hour away). It was a bit pricey, but completely treated the problem. We had her for almost 6 more years after that, with no recurrence. Our vet said that they may develop a tolerance to the meds and you have to up their doses over time. You also have to give the treatment a couple times a day, and we’re too lazy/forgetful/not-at-home for that. Coincidentally she also slept with her eyes open in her later years, and wouldn’t necessarily wake up when you shook her. I bawled my eyes out one Saturday, but luckily she did wake up before we put her limp body into a plastic bag in the freezer.

    And PS to the person whose vet gave them a guilt trip about wanting to euthanize their incontinent dog – seriously time to find a new vet. You need a vet that trusts you to make the right decision for yourself and for your pet.

  294. I laughed and choked on my booze! How you manage to have so much fun in your life amazes me, but I am equally inspired. Off to find the neighbors cat that went missing in my back yard and is presumed dead. Maybe I can give it some thyroid medicine and revive it.

  295. This is why my pets are Uglyworms. That, and they don’t eat. Or poop. And besides, I like to scare the wifey by claiming that they crawl into her ear while she’s asleep, and slurp all the knowledge out of her brain.


  296. No offense, Jenny. But, if that were my cat, I’d be sleeping under the covers with a knife and possibly a gun, and also a dog. Because, damn. That is some special kind of freaky.

  297. Yay sick and elderly cat who will not die!

    Much as I would love to see the facial expressions of your exterminator, I do have to agree the vet sounds a littler mercenary hitman-ish to me…

  298. I just want to say thank you. I love how you can have a sense of humour with the shitty things in life that would bring most people down. Your website helps keep me sane…well, that and my meds. Oooh, great idea…Doctors should prescribe the reading of your website to those whom are depressed, going through hell, etc…

  299. I just discovered your blog. Two things:
    2. Could you post a recipe for wine slushies? The idea both intrigues and horrifies me.

  300. Hey girl! Poor posey. Looks like he actually got into your stash! Tough kitty will be around for years to come I bet – as a form of torture perhaps??
    I’m always a fan of funny females – have you heard of Drea Charles? Her blog is pretty funny and she reminds me of you! Have you been mentoring??? Check her out.

  301. Am I a sicko for thinking that picture of Posey is actually adorable? Huge eyes that look all sparkly japanimation, kinda like my neighbor’s kid (who is actually very white).

    The other day I got an iud put in because birth control gives me insane migraines and I have an 18 month old and 2 month old so I need a couple years break before we have more miracle babies. So I get it in and it’s all crampy and for TWO DAYS my husband hasn’t said anything about it. I am pretty sure I deserve something big, like a boat. At the very least a thank you card from his penis for not making him wear condoms for the next couple years. I then thought of you. Do you have a card like that in your shop?

  302. Hi, so glad to hear Posey can be treated! My cat is nearly 22, and a few years ago she was diagnosed with the exact same issue. Since we started her on thyroid medication she is very happy and has put on weight and doing well. We just change the dosage of her medication depending on how she seems. Good luck Posey!

  303. I have a dark secret. Actually quite a few of them. My dad was a veterinarian. He was the only vet in our little town when I was growing up. Whenever any of my friends’ pets drew near to their maker, my friends’ parents would bring them (the pets of course) to my dad to be put down. Then they would go home and tell my friends that Posey or Butch or Jigger must have run off. Sometimes they would even engage in elaborate neighborhood ‘searches’ while I was dispatched to carry Posey or Butch or Jigger down the street in a cardboard box to be incinerated in the big coal furnace at the Equity Dairy. Is it any wonder that now I’m just a little fucked up? I think prolly not.

  304. My cat looked similar in the end stages of renal failure (also when we decided to put her to sleep). Glad your issue is somewhat fixable though! Posey is a pretty cat.

  305. My 16 1/2 year old cat opened her eyes very wide when I showed her the picture of Posey. Tija is a lot thinner and less fluffy than she was, but still managed to catch two mice this month! My cat Samantha lived to be 22, so I e hopes that Tija still has a few years yet. Good luck to Poseyy with the meds.

  306. My fur-baby was diagnosed with hyperpthyroidism about four years ago and I’ve had to dose her twice a day. Not a fun thing when she started running away from me whenever I approached her. After about a month, it dawned on me to try dissolving her pill in tuna juice and now she nags me for her “treat.”
    I shared this tip with my vet and the last time I took my cat in for her semi-annual thyroid checkup, I heard one of the receptionists telling another client to give her cat its medication in tuna juice.
    Note: the packed in water variety, please.
    Your Posey is adorable.
    Some people have such interesting lives or is it that you have such an interesting take on your life?

  307. Good luck with the meds! I had a cat with hypo(hyper? Sorry. I’m sick and too exhausted to look it up)thyroidism, and the pills she took helped for a long time. Just remember to make sure she actually swallows them. My cat would carry it around in her mouth for quite awhile and try to spit it out when she thought I wasn’t looking.

  308. my mother take thyroid pill for her underactive thyroid she says that is why she is fat. I tell her it’s all the crap she eats that make her fat. she didn’t appreciate teh advice. But it is good she isn’t dead or really sick cause you can’t put old people down in OZ you have to let them suffer

  309. Very heroin chic. Just think of it as her “coked out super model” past. Her story will inspire millions.

  310. We work a lot overseas so dogs are not practical so we have always had cats. One cat we had who adopted us died at the age of 22. Until the last year, she was still able to do what she loved to do, which was climbing trees of all things; she loved climbing trees and was always an independent (though affectionate) indoor-outdoor cat. But that last year, she decided ok I am just going to just chill and be pampered and she kind of got a bit skeletor like your cat. Basically, she faded away like Carroll’s Cheshire Cat.

  311. Nice vet like you want to kill your cat. At his age I am surprised the vet would give you more bills instead of putting him out of his misery. It’s not like this is a young cat. I say find a new vet, what an ass!

  312. Oh dang!!! Now I feel like an asshole… My cat is 18 and is super thin too, and so I took him to the vet, and the vet said “Well, it could be one of 3 things, and to find out I need to run bloodwork, and that will cost $250”, to which I replied “Well, he’s old, he’s going to die anyway, I love him, but I mean really, how much longer could he possibly live, even with treatment?”

    :-/ I’m such a pet lover, but I hate when the vet wants you to go broke. *sigh*

  313. Well thanks a lot for posting the picture now! Now I have to care about your damn cat not dying. Had you waited for three months and shown us the before AND after pictures, a la the Biggest Loser finale (the only one I watch), it would be my feel-good story of the week. A whole “Yay her cat lived and looks awesome!” moment. But no. Now if Posey dies, I’ll be wrecked. You really need to think more about the feelings of others, and more specifically, me. Because putting your cat before a complete stranger is a horrible thing to do, and you should be ashamed.

  314. Take pride that you have now saved more kitties from death than any PETA or local animal rescue could have done just by posting this experience with your cat. You do great things no matter what Victor will not admit to.

  315. We are currently going through the same thing with our older cat. Turns out she also had abcessed teeth which have now been removed and between that and the thyroid looks much better. She used to be 23 lbs and went down to 7 looking like yours. Now she is up to 9 which is good.

  316. It will make me nervous if my pet got sick, and I hate the feeling that my pet is dying and so. It feels like losing a family member and hurts a lot so I never own a pet after my puppy died when I was 8. Glad that posey is okay now!

  317. awww, honey.
    as the mama two two sick cats: one with perpetual boogey nose (herpes!) and one with (i swear to minty jesus) crohn’s disease, i feel your pain. yeah, you are probably an asshole, but no more of an assole than than me sobbing and lecturing cat #2 for leaving butt-stamps on the floor.
    asshole cat mama’s unite!

  318. My brother and sister-in-law just got brain surgery for their 13 year old cat (benign tumor affecting hind leg function) and she’s better than new! Probably good until 21. Mine have lived to about 19 usually. Right now I give Cassidy 2x daily insulin injections and an inhaler… prognosis is good — and both of those are harder to fix than thyroid. So what I’m trying to say is, you and Posey will probably have a long life together (unless s/he kills you that is, but even so you’re doing the right thing!)

  319. I feel the pain. We have two cats, Mr. B (short for Bigglesworth) and Number 2. Yes, I do indeed love Austin Powers. But, we’re not here to talk about me. Let’s talk about cats. Number 2 had the same fate that Posey seems to be going through. It was hard. Very, very hard, but, we ultimately made the choice to put him down. Let me tell you a (quick version) story.

    Had a friend. Still have this friend. So, a friend.

    His cat went through similar things. Lots of health issues. He ended up spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to keep him alive. From day one of keeping him alive by throwing money at the problem, he saved two weeks. And you know what he said?

    He wished he hadn’t.

    Not because of the money put out, but, simply because those two weeks, albeit alive, were very difficult. Needles. Forced medicine. And such things.

    He would have preferred to have put him down calmly and had his last memories of him be as the cat he loved, not the cat that was dying.

    So. I took those words to heart, and, did just that – I put number two down a bit ahead possibly of modern medicine’s schedule.

    And I don’t regret it at all.

  320. I have an old, skinny, hyperthyroid cat. After three years of buying various soft cat foods, just so she would eat…now she will only eat the expensive shit. No more 50 cent Whiskas, only $1.75 Blue and Avoderm and prescription “critical care” food, which I have nicknamed “Weight Gain 4000”. (The latter only comes in the big cans, and she will not touch the stuff once it’s been in the fridge. So we have fat other kitties too because I am not wasting food that is $1.79 a can.)

    Anyway. If yours will take the pills wrapped in treats, it’s cheaper. But the ear gel is not much more, and it’s much easier to deal with.

    PS – I thought mine was not coming home from the vet, either, and I was thrilled that it was something that simple.

  321. Cats do shit like that just to fuck with you. I’m sure Posey’s thyroid was normal three weeks, then she got bored and decided to jack it up just to make you feel guilty.

  322. My 18 year old kitty has had the same thing (hyperthyroidism) for 2 years now. It’s easy to maintain, just have to have regular trips to the vet to have routine bloodwork done. But now we all know from your story that vets make sick kitties well with modern medicine (and other various animals too). The best part is going to my regular pharmacy and getting her meds under her full (first and last) name. Love the looks! In a related story, my sister had a diabetic cat (Charlie), and had to go to the regular pharmacy for his insulin, Under the name Charlie Brown. Awesome!

  323. Oh your poor old kitty looks sick. Sure hope the diagnosis and the meds help to save him. And by the way that long haired donkey looks horrible and sad!

  324. oh, gollum kitty is precious! i gave my first kitty an IV every day for a year because of renal failure…got 2 more years out of him…can’t wait to see posey’s progress!

  325. We have a 16-year old cat that went from earning us lectures from the vet about his “weight problem” to weighing practically nothing. He was so heavy before we didn’t really notice the weight loss at first. When we finally noticed he wasn’t dragging his belly on the ground anymore, we thought it was the Big C. We were so relieved to learn it was just a wonky thyroid. We started his meds this summer and he started looking better within the first month. He’s back up to a healthy weight and will hopefully be with us a few more years.

  326. I had to put my 17 year old cat down on New Year’s day this year-he was totally emaciated and could barely walk, and his kidneys stopped functioning. I paid several hundred 6 months prior to have his teeth cleaned and pulled. Everyone said to put him down then-but there was no need. I knew his kidneys were failing, and I set the boundaries that when they failed completely I would have him put down, and that’s what happened so I did.

    I miss him a lot, I wish there was something I could have done to buy more time.

  327. wowwo…479 comments, i can’t even get 2 on my blog…but i digress…
    Your vet says things like ” your cat’s thyroid’s fucked up’?? thats awesum…

  328. Hey! My cat also has hyperthyroid issues. We have him on meds atm (thyroid surgery consists of irradiating the cat for thousands of dollars…eek! so we are still discussing that option). Thing is, everytime we go and get his med levels checked, they’re different. The doc accused us of not giving him his meds regularly, except we do. Then I discovered, in the usual pile of cat puke, a small white pill. Bastard has been puking them up; no wonder his levels are all wonky. Guess we are going to have to nuke our cat.

    tl;dr Our cat is a troll; he pukes up his thyroid meds behind our back, and gets us in trouble with the vet.

  329. I had to come back and comment on this post. When I read this, I immediately thought of our cat, Sassy. She had lost quite a bit of weight over the past 6 months or so, which I had been contributing to old age–she’s 14– and has that same look as your kitty. After reading this though, I began to wonder. So, I took her to the vet and sure enough, her thyroid is out of wack. She will be starting her meds on Monday and hopefully back to her old self soon. The poor girl had lost half her body weight. She went from 12 pounds to 6 and has become such a bony little thing. Hope your kitty is doing well, and thanks for posting.

  330. You are really lucky you saved Posey. Or your Vet did. He looks like he was at the end of Hyperthyroidism. It metabolises every part of your body that’s why he looks thin. And his eyes! Big pupils. That is his excessive high blood pressure, can send them blind. Google it. That thyroid drug really works to bring the thyroid back to normal levels. Hurray for Posey. He/She deserves to live on. Is Cute as. You will see his eyes return to normal next pic. Cheers. Animals want to hang around as long as pos. like us.

  331. I’m so so sorry for your recent loss of posey, but I’m so glad to get to this post and see that he got 9 months bonus life. every day between this post and his death yesterday was a gift, for both of you. <3

    heatherwright42 on twitter