Ron Weasel-y

in Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Random Crap

Remember last month when I added Ermione Granger to my collection of ethically taxidermied creatures who look great in clothes?  And then I said the next step would be to find Ron Weasel-y and then Victor threatened to divorce me if I didn’t stop buying dead animals?

Well, my marriage is still intact because this morning I woke up to find a very special surprise package from my friend, Lindsay.

IT’S RON WEASEL-Y, YOU GUYS:

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Honestly, it’s like they were made for each other.
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Next step…Draco Mousefoy.

PPS.  As requested, more book tour dates coming soon!  Boston, Atlanta, Charlotte, Gaithersburg, Annapolis and more!  Details to come…

433 thoughts on “Ron Weasel-y”

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  2. Congrrats! I’m sure they’ll be happy together. I’m digging the cape on Ron.

  3. If you ever came to Pensacola, FL….well, I don’t know what I would do, but it would be awesome….if awesome means squeaking….

  4. Is the step after that Harry Trotter? Can pigs be taxidermied? Why do I not know this?

  5. Next you’ll need a Harry Otter and the Hogwarts crew will be complete!

  19. Jenny, WHEN are you going to be in Boston??? I have wanted to meet you for years, and will be utterly devastated if you’re in town and I miss you while you’re here!!!

  24. He’s magnificent!! Now please please please come to Seattle!!!!

  25. BOSTON!!! Hurray! Happy Dance time!!!

    Love the weasel you found to play Ron…he’s fantastic and perfect for the part. 🙂

  26. Come to Seattle! I promise we’re not nearly as unfriendly as everyone suspects. And I have a fake wolf hat I can wear!

  28. Ha! You have to stop BUYING dead animals but that doesn’t mean you have to stop adding to your collection!! Hopefully he won’t catch on and modify his initial statement to “I will divorce you if you keep bringing dead animals into this house.” I don’t know what I would do if given that kind of ultimatum. I would seriously have to consider my options! =)

  32. Reading your book, Jenny! Wouldn’t have thought you were the same person as on your delicious blog. Both AMAZING but different. Way to go. Love, Laurie F.

  33. OH EM GEE! Too cute. Now I feel the need to knit them little Gryffindor scarves.

    Oh – also, joyous news – you’ve added another tour date in my area so not only do I get to see you in Gaithersburg but I get to stalk you, ahem, see you as well in Annapolis!

  34. Yay! I can do Charlotte! Asheville would be better – it is a really wierd city that you would love!

  37. I agree with Adrasteia – you need a stop in Seattle! Not everyone is a crazy riot-er! some of us are just crazy! hehe!

  40. Woo Hoo!!
    Also PLEASE, PLEASE, PUH-LEEEEEEZZZEEE come to Baton Rouge. Or New Orleans. Or Biloxi. I’m willing to drive!!

  43. I keep checking to see if you’ll come to Chicago… I had to laugh when I saw Gaithersburg on the list. The small(ish) town where I grew up. Really… Gaithersburg makes the list and Chicago doesn’t. Oh well.

  45. I love it! And I agree that this does not qualify for the BUYING since it was a gift. Can’t wait to see the next addition to the collection!

  47. Obviously Victor can’t expect you to refuse gits from your legions of admirers. So your new additions will just have to come to you that way.

    Perhaps you should think about opening a museum of sorts. You could charge admission- like Ripley’s; but it’d be better because they’re all yours. Victor couldn’t complain if it was a money making venture.

  48. ohmygodohmygodohmygod you’re coming to Charlotte. I know exactly when it’s going to happen, too. When I’m on vacation. But it will not change my adoration for you one bit.

  50. can you PLEASE come somewhere halfway close to Syracuse NY?!?!? We are an hour north of there stationed at Fort Drum (Army) and I know several people here who would be THRILLEd to see you!!!!!!!! and Ron is super awesome!!!!!

  52. I can’t believe we’re getting you in Annapolis!!!!! Happy Dance!!!!

  55. Please please please come to Nashville!!! I know a dozen or so people who’d be very happy.

  58. Jenny when are you coming to Canada for your book tour? We northerns who are sustainable to snow and weak in our knees to your writing abilities are waiting very anxiously!! I hope you can make it to my native land. I’m sure there are plenty of ancient native barriel grounds where we can play hopscotch or have our own ‘zombie apocalypse’ tea party on. You have no idea how much I want to be your gay best friend. Texas hates gays, but I love coin purses so we’re TOTALLY a match!

    COME TO CANADA! (eh)

    Much love and tipping my hat to you;

    Kendal Cushman
    Twitter: AGayMansDiary

  62. AWWWWW! They are so cute together!!!!! He’s even a redhead! I swear, Imma have to start getting me some dead animal goodness soon, before I derp all over yours! My hubs is gonna hate me so bad…LOL

  63. I finally got a rooster! Mine is only about 3 feet tall but I had to have one because of you 🙂
    Named him: Richard the Rooster
    AKA: Dick the Cock

  64. Charlotte?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!! Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina 😉 Yay! & I squealed with joy for you, Ermione & Ron Weasel-y (fully confirming my coworkers guess that I’m not quite right in the head) love, love

    ps – if you haven’t seen it, you must watch Mister Rogers & Me, leaves you feeling warm & fuzzy in a good way

  65. THAT’S THE CUTEST GRYFFINDOR ROBE EVAR.

    Also, I’m so excited you’re coming to Atlanta!!! That’s where IIII AAMMMMM!!

  67. Ooh! Boston! I could probably make that one. Maybe you could sign over your signature in my signed copy. Or add some punctuation. I’m not picky, really.

  69. Midwest? Please? Omaha would be great, but I will settle for Kansas City!

  72. Ermione looks so happy and Ron Weasel-y is like, “Oh yeah, I’m the weasel.” They’re a cute couple. I can’t wait to see Draco Mousefoy when he eventually shows up at your doorstep.

  73. Chicago or Milwaukee?? I live equal distance between the two. Milwaukee has brats and beer and festivals. Chicago has museums, booze, baseball and the lakefront.

    I finished the audiobook last week. Can’t wait for Book 2 to come out. No pressure or anything. {{Hint, Hint}}I guess until then I’ll have to settle for the “In Death” series by J.D. Robb. I’m on Book 3 of the series. I can’t get enough of Eve and Roarke.

  74. Lol. I love how Ron is taller than Ermine, just like in the books. Except that in the books all the charters weren’t weasels. Which, come to think of it, would have made those books way cooler.

  77. Um… so… I got so excited I ran screaming into my Husband’s office and he immediately assumed I was having a panic attack and threw my klonopin at me. Just a question, you know… in theory… if someone like me were to want a picture or to hug you (because you’ve been super supportive of me, i.e. donating to my Wish Upon A Hero for my Husband and commenting on my own blog when I was in the grips of weeks and weeks of anxiety and depression), I wouldn’t be taken down by security would I? Should I wear a shirt that says, “Don’t shoot, I’m awkward and she knows me kind of!”

  79. What a lovely couple!

    I’m so terribly upset I missed you when you were down in Miami 🙁 I got some type of modern bubonic plague – this is what happens when you let a baby cough all over your face. Be warned!

    P.S. The dolls in the background sort of creep me out. Not your fault. Just this phobia carried over from childhood. That required therapy time. And, um, I’ll chat with you later. I need to go call my therapist now.

  80. Oh, and I’ll be the one squealing and passing out like an 80’s Michael Jackson fan in Atlanta. JUST SO YOU KNOW AND CAN PREPARE YOURSELF. THE END.

  81. First of all BOSTOOOOON!!! Secondly, I think you should go for Draco Moosefoy, although I acknowledge that the scale would be all off with a moose, and they are definitely harder to pack for travel.

  83. I don’t think you’re setting your sights high enough. Forget Draco Mousefoy.

    Try to find Drago Malfoy. Surely you can find a stuffed Komodo Dragon…

  86. Friends of mine in the Annapolis and DC area are thrilled you’ll be there. You’ll have more friendly faces to great you. 🙂

    I never, in a million years, ever thought I’d say, “hey that’s really cute” to taxidermy. But that is really, really cute. LOL!

  88. This is when you know you’ve made it: When people send you dead animals in the mail. Also – where did you find some an impossibly tiny cloak? (did you add any patches to make it look more “authentic?”)

  89. He has such a knowing, yet impish look about him. Almost… weasel-y, you know?
    Also – I’m loving the printables (even though I can’t print them because I’m out of ink).

  91. I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but I actually said (out loud no less) “Aren’t they cute together?!”.

  92. Harry Otter: The Weasle who Lived.
    Harry Otter and the Order of the Weasle?

    Did you know Otters are related to weasles? BECAUSE THEY ARE. It’s like this was meant to happen.

  97. YOU’RE COMING TO ATLANTA!!!!! THAT’S ONLY A 4 HOUR DRIVE FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND PROMISED I COULD GO IF YOU CAME THAT CLOSE. The only problem is that it’s on my daughter’s 5th birthday. Which I can’t miss… but I can totally take her on a trip to Atlanta to meet you for her 5th birthday!!! As long as hubby okay’s it. See you next week (Hopefully)

  98. He’s absolutely perfect? I do have to wonder… what species will Harry be? Or will he simply be Hairy Potter so you won’t be locked into any one?

  103. OH MY GOD YOU HAVE BLYTHE DOLLS!?!?! I have 2, and just bought a 3rd today! I have a Very Vicki as well. =D

  104. What about Harry Otter? And Jenny Weasl-y is a must so he has a mate.

  107. Yay Atlanta! BOOO! I have to go out of town for work. (tear runs down my cheek)

  108. Is it sad that I booked a day around you coming to Gaithersburg? While the other 100 or so authors at the event will have a few people, you’ll have a line. I will be in it! I am bringing a gift.

    WG

  109. Oh hooray! Love the Hogwarts robes on Ron Weasel-y, him and Ermione are perfect 😀

  112. This makes me want to read the Harry Potter books and become familiar with the characters so I can find you the best piece to add to this collection in hopes to bribe you to come to Arizona.

  114. Sorry, I also think Ron Weasel-y is brilliant. I just got so excited by the Blythes that I fell off my chair and saw right past Ron for a few minutes. Easily distracted.

  118. I feel like Ron Weasel-y might need a tailor. Or maybe it’s just difficult to find clothes to fit when you’re a taxidermied weasel…

  119. I agree with Morgan J, but it should be spelled “Hairy Otter”!

  121. What kind of animal is appropriate for Hairy Potter? A mink perhaps? On a mission to find a mink with a thunderbolt on it’s forehead!

  122. Don’t forget Severus Snake, Albus Dumbledog, and Lord Voldemouse.

  124. Otter. The next step should be Hairy Otter. I second the above posts.
    I also could eat this post. Everything good in my brain was said above!

  125. But Draco should be a ferret, not a mouse! An amazing bouncing ferret!

  127. Ha! They do look perfect together. As they should. (Also, what is it with Harry Potter lately? I’ve been seeing/reading about him everywhere. Also writing, as you can see.)

  129. The Charlotte link takes me to past events only. I can’t figure out which store you’ll be at or when. Please let us know!!!

  133. Love Ron Weasl-y! Annapolis is great – getting closer to D.C…..closer and closer!

  134. Please please PLEASE come to Philly!!!!!!!! Us Jersey folk need to see you!!!
    Congrats on the weasel!! I, too enjoy Harry Otter. 🙂

  135. I was all WOOHOO, I get to meet the Bloggess in Atlanta…. and then I was all OH NOEZ, I have class that night. >_< Maybe I'll get an ethically taxidermied present to make it up to me.

  137. OMG, 11 days till I get to meet you in Gaithersburg!!! I am so freaking excited!

  138. [IMG]http://i808.photobucket.com/albums/zz6/MV1992/ProfessorQ.png[/IMG]

    >:D

  139. His cape is fantastic.

    I love that you’ve put Ermione Granger and Ron Weasel-y in front of your Blythes 😀

  141. I know Detroit is a blight in Michigan but you must come here! On the bright side, we do have Eminem.

  143. Perfection. Uncle Sam says we have to leave the country for three years starting this summer… will you be doing overseas tours? 😉

  144. One of the previous noters said your next acquisition is Harry Otter. That person needs a high-five and a cookie.
    Also? I’m catching up on your blog in a quiet computer lab on campus. HUGE mistake. I’m about to pee myself from stifling giggles.

  146. Hairy Otter – I LOLed at that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just finished your book and there were so many parts that brought me to tears, either from laughter or empathy……..I appreciated every page. Thanks for sharing your life with us!

  147. This whole time I have been wishing for you to come down to Georgia or somewhere close by so I could participate in this wonderful tour, and now you’ll be in Atlanta 2 days after I start work at my internship in Madison, WI. Noooooooooooo.

  149. Harry Otter is defo needed too!

    Also, your book is on its way to me, uk edition! I can’t wait! 😀

  151. Ahhhhh!!! Both Gaithersburg AND Annapolis are close to me! I am gonna meet the Bloggess. I’m so excited I might pee myself. I’ll try not to. I’m at work. Might not be professional.

    But I am still super excited. Look out Jenny, here I come! (That wasn’t supposed to be threatening. Please don’t hide in the bathroom. I am completely harmless and a big dork).

  157. Ann Arbor, MI. C’mon, we love book signings. And ethically taxidermied animals. Ok, the truth is, I wasn’t aware there was a difference in the way animals are taxidermied. Now that I’m coming clean, I’ll also confess that I didn’t know you could use taxidermy as a verb. Finally, I’d like to take this opportunity to coin my own word–verbifiy. That would be when you take a noun and turn it into a verb. Like taxidermied. Or also verbicize would be a good word, too. One last confession, my guess is people in Ann Arbor actually may not appreciate taxidermied animals (whether done ethically or not) as much as I say we do. Um, it’s a little bit of a–how you say–granola-eating town so, maybe….it might be better to not, like, heavily publicize your love for taxidermy. You know, if you were to come here. Which after all of this, I still think you should. Just sayin’.

  160. I am so excited for your Atlanta book signing!! I have requested a half day at work so I can drive up the 1hr 45 min. It also gives me an excuse to see my bf that lives up there. YAY!!

  162. Please please come to Idaho…… You could sign my ipad since I bought your book digitally!

  163. I am without words to describe the awesomeness of this couple. No better match could there be under heaven. Congrats.

  166. Next step is actually Hooty Potter (owl) or Harry Otter (otter)!

  168. #1 Flippin’ AWESOME weasel!
    #2 When are you coming to Indianapolis? We NEED you here…our fair city is way too boring!

  170. I am way jealous, not only by the fact that you have awesome taste in dead animals, but also by your relationship with Victor…in that he lets you have such a relationship with dead animals. I’ve already been warned that I can’t start showing more crazy than I already do. We’ll see how that goes.

  171. Knowing that you found your Ron Weasel-y makes me irrationally happy. Like, it makes me feel like the world is an amazing place full of hope and wonder and awesome.

    HOORAY!!

  175. Glad to see that a few people are tracking with me on naming the next one “Viktor,” after Viktor Krum, of course, but your Viktor won’t know how it is spelled and also will feel priviledged that for a while Ermione Granger will actually prefer him over Ron Weasel-y.

    Marriage problems solved.

  177. Oh good, you managed to get the robe on him. I tried but I was afraid id break him and I was fresh out of Skele-Gro.

    I concur with the Harry Otter folk, and Draco the Amazing Bouncing Ferret would preserve the scale. Vole-demort would be awesome too. And I don’t think Victor can get too mad unless you decide to add a Dumbledeer to the collection 😉

    -Lindsay

    P.S. Super-psyched that you’re coming to Boston!

  180. Omigod omigod omigod – SO excited you’re coming to Gaithersburg! I live about a mile away from where you’ll be – I will crawl there if I have to.

  182. It’s not winter right now, so it’s totally safe to come to Minnesota. You’d love Minneapolis! Come see us!

  183. I’m too lazy to read all the comments to find out if someone has already pointed out that you may consider a Draco Mal-ferret. Just for the sake of canon, plus bonus he’s a “bad” ferret. Or Mousefoy, it’s your collection, seriously get the pieces that make you furiously happy and to hell with canon.

  184. Totally. Awesome. But wait – what’s this about Boston??? *runs off to secure her place in line*

  189. Ha ha with all this craziness I can see a little children’s cartoon version of Harry Potter coming and all the characters will be forest animals.

  190. When I showed him the picture of Ermione, my 10 yr old spent the rest of the evening coming up with other HP names – Severus Snake was one. He also came up with Owl-us Dubledore and Tuna Lovegood (not sure if your passion for taxidermy runs to fish). I am afraid to think too deeply about what this means – my child was totally charmed by idea of a little taxidermied HP army.

  191. Please come to Boston in the summertime …
    Now I have THIS http://youtu.be/UDRLZFgEoGw
    stuck in my head. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

    BOSTON DETAILS! I’m abt 55% through the book, and you have me in tears. I can’t thank you enough for being so brave and honest, and helping US (us — all the crazies, not US the United States, although everyone should read your book, in the ENTIRE United States AND the world should read your book because you rock) out here know we’re not alone. Because when you hide places (i have been a closet case from way back) you don’t have a lot of reference for knowing there are others hiding too. Thank you for being a superhero.

    I’mma get drunk and get my wife to drive me so I won’t freak out and panic and stay home, and please, please please, will you sign my nook in sharpie?

  193. So, I was sitting here staring at that first picture thinking, “Damn. I bet that picture would look great framed on the wall.” WANT.

  194. PS I love Ron and idk why “should read your book” came up twice. I blame typing around cats and/or being consumed with emotion and/or a satanic laptop.

  195. Charlotte??? YAY!!!! That’s only like an hour and a half away for me! I am SOOOO there!

  198. Yay!!! Annapolis!!! Can’t wait and so glad you decided to come this way.

  200. Please come to Mississippi. I would love the chance to meet you and get my book signed.

  203. Yes! Atlanta!!! Will be there with bells er…..something on.

  204. Voledemort. The rodent whose name must not be spoken. I must find him for you. Voles are tiny and tend to not look, well, imposing. Moledemort, sure. THAT would be easy. But a vole able to convey his evil intentions with his little taxidermied countenance alone…. My quest begins today.
    I will need your neighbor’s address because I want to read about her screams of terror and your further ostracisation from your neighbourhood on your blog.
    I am ON IT. I will not rest until I have found him and delivered him unto you. When I say I will not rest, I mean my soul will not rest because my body is going back to sleep. I worked all night y’all and I’m done stove up.
    Your shit rocks.
    And only my mom calls me poopsie.
    Robin

  208. WHY ISN’T BOSTON CLICKABLE? I NEED INFO.
    P.S. You think Texas is fucked up? Ha. Boston has been tearing apart people’s sanity for centuries! It’s one of our specialties: historical crap, good hospitals, good colleges, and a LOT of really FUCKED UP SHIT. YAY BOSTON! (P.S. driving in Boston may give you an anxiety attack, and it is not a good idea to hide under cars, nor do cars have bathrooms in which to shut yourself, so I would go with TAXI)

  209. Boston, you say? You know, Rhode Island isn’t that far away from Boston and Newport is a great place for a book tour stop.
    I’m definitely going to try to get to Boston, though. : )

  213. Your dead-animal thing has always been hilarious, but it makes much more sense (kind of?) after reading your book!

  217. Boston? HOLY FVCK!

    I’m at the other end of the state, but I’ll come to Boston if I possibly, humanly can. When??

  219. dammit, JENNIFER ARCHIBALD LAWSON!!! Get you ass to SEATTLE!!!! PASKETTI dinner awaits. Love you, Carm

  220. PLEASE bring the book tour to Pittsburgh!! We are very friendly people who put french fries on everything. You’d love us. PLEASE!

  221. Once you find your Harry Otter then Guinea Weasley and then it’ll be complete!

  224. Do they taxidermy bugs? Then you can have Albus Dumblebee or Albus Bumbledore. Either works. Then there’s always Mad-Eye Moosey or Mad-Eye Mousey, Severus Snake, Nymphadora Honks, and the ever popular Roosterius Hagrid?

    I could keep going, but I have to start dinner now.

  225. Apparently your publisher doesn’t think people in the Northwest read your book. I did, and almost died, three times. Well, twice anyway legitimately your fault. The other time my dog jumped up on the bed while I was roaring with laughter (from reading your book), startled me and I fell out of bed, so that kinda counts.
    Tell your tight-ass publisher to get you to Seattle. Not that I would show but I’d try really hard. As long as it was convenient. Like, if you should up close to my house, and I wasn’t doing anything else. I don’t have to tell you. You know what it’s about.

  226. PHOENIX!!!! Please? My dad bought me a signed copy of your book for my birthday, so I’d have you sign my wine glass instead (because it’s my most valued possession and it almost never leaves my hand).

  228. Judging by the wide-eyed stares from the unstuffed doll section, it does not appear that Ron has unanimous support in his role as Ermione’s felluh.

    Or is it jealousy? Over him or his manly cape?

    Can we expect serious cat fighting?

    Or weasel fighting?

    Or Victor fighting?

    Enquiring minds wants to know.

    And we have the internets.

  229. Yes! Love the Hogwarts crew. Hilarious. Some of the other comments have great ideas to further fill out your cast. Sorry, Victor. 😉
    Also…would love, love, LOVE to see you in Minneapolis, MN.

  230. I guess it’s just all about shoulders, or the lack thereof, huh?

  232. Argh… I would say that was Krum-my of Victor except that I think this is the most hellish of relationships and now it’s immortalised in the form of taxidermied animals. For the love of all that’s rodenty, please don’t get a Guinea Weasel-y.
    Have you considered getting a Professor S-Quirrel? Sea-mouse Finnigan? Nymphadormouse?

    I bet those have been done already.

  233. Pretty please, come to Salt Lake City! I even promise to bring you booze at your book signing so you don’t have to trudge through the Mormon mecca to find it.

  235. Jenny, while frying eggs the other morning my roommate was surprised by a mouse carrying a basket and wearing a hat with flowers and feathers on it. This mouse rolled out from under the stove, looking suspiciously like a possibly taxidermied creature who was ready for Easter Sunday. Our cat promptly removed her (we’re assuming it’s a she) tail, but we’d be happy to send you the rest, if tailless mice in their Sunday best are of interest to you.

    Best,
    CW (and TB, and the cat, Kabluey), Chicago

  237. Oops, someone beat me to Severus Snake, I see. I also love Albus Dumblebee/Bumbledore!

  243. GET OUT! You are coming to Charlotte!? A mere two hours from me?! Off to see where and if I can take the time off (if necessary)!

  246. Must come to Portland, Oregon!! 🙂 Pretty please, with sugar. Don’t make me beg…. 😉

    So so excited for all of your success!! 🙂

  247. Yeah!!! What a great birthday present, getting to see The Bloggess on my birthday! See you in Atlanta. So happy you are extending the tour.
    Ron’s robes look fabulous, BTW.

  249. The next step is obviously Hairy Otter.

    So today I was just screwing around on the Internet and I found this collection of pictures of “surreal fairy-tale photos of people with animal heads.” And I was like, “Huh, I wonder why this reminds me of the Bloggess?” And then I realized that duh. Of course surreal fairy-tale photos of people with animal heads remind me of the Bloggess. I hope it’s kind of self-explanatory.

    http://flavorwire.com/287360/surreal-fairy-tale-photos-of-people-with-animal-heads

  253. You should also get Vermin Dursley, a fat angry weasel. Mainly because I want to see what a fat weasel looks like.

  254. I would love it if you could make it within driving distance of Cedar rapids IA! Then I could meet you and show you the fruit of your match-making, the knitted vagina and penis, more fondly known as The Knitted Knaughties!

  257. Severus Snake. . . Voldemole . . . Bumbledore (bee – can you taxidermy those??). . . the ideas are endless. . .

  258. I love them!!!! They make me miss my pet ferrets who have all since humanely shuffled off this mortal coil. I couldn’t bring myself to taxidermy my pets, instead, they were all cremated and I put each one inside of his or her own Build-a-Bear. If you’ve never held a mini funeral inside a Build-a-Bear at the mall, shrugging off the the judging eyes of the minimum wage retail staff, then you have not truly lived.

  259. What is the date/time for Charlotte? Anyone found it yet? The link doesn’t work and I don’t want to miss it 🙂

  262. I will have to try to remember to take a photo — the hipster bookstore in my neighborhood in downtown DC, Kramer Books, has your book right at the cash register. Ka-ching!!!

  264. I caught my husband posing a dead bird (that died on our stoop of natural causes) next to our birdhouse. I started in with “Oh that is WRONG!” when he came back with “I don’t want to hear it from YOU, she who is reading The Bloggess’ book, and is always showing me the pictures on her blog! I saw you laughing over Juanita!” All I could do was nod and walk away. See you in Gaithersburg! 🙂

  265. What about Harry Otter? I realize he’d be a bit bigger, scale-wise, than the others…

  266. OMG you’re coming to Atlanta! I mean it’s 2 hours away from me but hell thats close enough.

  267. My cousin’s going to take me to a secret place in San Francisco where I can get a taxidermied white mice wedding cake topper. I’m not even engaged.

  268. OMG, Atlanta! And only 1 mile from my office! I’m there! I can’t stop using exclamation points!

  269. YEA!!! you are coming to Charlotte! Just finished your book and was left wanting more! Can’t wait to find out when you will be here. Hurry, Hurry!

  271. I live too far away from all these places. Come to Albuquerque, or even Denver – I could make those drives

  272. woot! see you soon in atlanta…that B&N is 1.5 miles from my office! let me know if you want dinner recommendations or company.

  273. Oh, my goodness, I can’t wait to see Draco Mousefoy!
    And you need to come to Kansas City. Please! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. I can go to the bookstore and talk to them. I can. Honestly. Just let me know.
    By the way, you also need Harry Otter.

  277. I just completely freaked out and started screaming when I saw that you’d added a BOSTON TOUR DATE. I can hook you up with a great independent bookstore if you need it, just let me know.

    I think I may need to go breathe into a paper bag now. Wow. That just made my week. And my honeymoon starts on Thursday.

  279. I’m more of a Draco/Hermione shipper (but not Canon!Malfoy obviously) because I’m weird, but they are damn adorable. If I even knew where to START looking for Draco Mousefoy I would totally get him for you, but I’m at a loss…Damn

  282. Okay. Harry Otter is good, but how `bout Hare-y Potter. You know, a rabbit. An otter would be wrong to stuff. But bunnies? There are tons out there. I’ll be watching for Hare-y.

  283. Chicago. I’m anxiously awaiting the announcement of your Chicago tour date.

  285. OMG! You’ll be within walking distance of my house! LOL YAY FOR GAITHERSBURG! Also? I TOTALLY need you to sign my wedding dress… I’ll bring a piece- I mean, its my princess dress- who else but the Bloggess to sign it?

  286. Portland, OR would be perfect. Even Seattle, I’d drive 4 hours to thank you in person for, well, just being you!

  287. OMG! Gaithersburg is my hometown! SQUEE!

    I must persuade my mother to bring her dried alligator head to you. If only for a wonderful photo op.

  289. but, but, but… Malfoy is a ferret!! as much as I appreciate the name association of mousefoy I think it is also important to acknowledge that even a death eater (in disguise as Moody but still) thought that Malfoy was despicable and annoying enough to turn into an albino ferret and bounce off the ceiling. I’m halfway through your book and it lead to lots of inopportunely timed out loud laughing on a car trip recently.

  290. How about Vancouver, BC … we’re rad up here…. but I’m with Donna…. even Seattle would be great!

  291. Harry Otter, Vincent Crab, Mr. Owlivander, Argus Finch, Professor Dumble-door mouse, Kanga-Rubeus Hagrid, Weevil Longbottom.

  292. Ooh. I went looking for Draco Mousefoy, but to be honest, the icky specimens I stumbled across turned my tummy. I am afraid my weak constitution will prevent me from adding to your menagerie of dead things.

  293. Okay. I really would have literally jumped up and down if my (non-taxidermied) dog wasn’t pinning me to the couch with her body! Atlanta, Atlanta, Atlanta! Let me know if you need an extra klonopin! Or anything else in the universe you might need!

  295. I walked into Powells Books this weekend in Portland, OR, and your book was in the very front of the store! Congrats – *biggest* bookstore west of the Mississippi! (note that the quotes are so people don’t argue with me or yell at me; I’m tired tonight.) 🙂 Please come see us here! Oregon is beautiful. 🙂

  296. Ohhhh….. He’s perfect. You have an awesome friend in Lindsay…. Well done. Lucky day!

  300. Yay Atlanta ! You have the most awesome friends . Do you rent them out?

  301. You have the coolest friends!!! Shouldn’t you also be in the lookout for Harry Porker? (Sorry. I couldn’t think of any other animal that sounds like or a way to change another animal’s name into something like Potter.) If you come anywhere near NW Arkansas or to St. Louis, I will totally drive to see you!! 😀

  302. I just squealed out loud (at work) when I saw that you are going to be less than a mile from my house ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!
    See you in Atlanta!!! I can’t wait!
    You made my month!

  306. Hooray for Bean Town! Maybe you can find a Rubeus Badger? I mean, come on, who doesn’t want a stuffed Badger in their home? I mean, honestly. Come on people. And a Professor Snake. And maybe a stuffed cat… wait, no, that’s a little too weird. Especially in a house with live cats walking about.

    The End

  307. I’m a little ashamed to admit that I am completely ignoring your dead animal extravaganza and am drooling over your Blythes in the background. Or should I be proud? I’m very unsure.

  308. Words cannot express how ridiculously happy I am that you are coming to Annapolis! I’m so excited I might pee my pants!!!

  311. You know, since Moody turned Draco into a white Ferret, I don’t know if those exist, however, that would also be an acceptable choice. At least, I think it would be… Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you Malfoy?

  312. You totally have the best ideas ever. Really. Even the Leo-Tardis is an awesome use of language skillz. <3

  313. It would be the most fantastic news ever if you visited Philadelphia! My to girlfriends and I have followed your blog for the last year and treated it like a book club. Don’t judge and now we actually started a book club and all purchased your book before it was even released! Please visit our city!!

  314. May the happy couple live long and prosper!! (I love how Ermione looks demure and a little shy about what’s to come. She’s like an Amish bride. Adorable!)

    And . . . you are coming to Boston? I AM DYING OF HAPPY!!!!

  316. Ah, but Draco can’t be a mouse. He has to be a ferret. Wonder where I can find a stuffed pure white ferret.

  317. PUH-LEEEZE cross that border and come to Toronto! We have a bunch of crazy women here who love ya. My whole staff is now hooked on your blog after I started sending out links to them. We want a company field trip to a book signing. Could we bribe you with, say, potentially a taxidermied beaver?? The book is awesomeness.

  322. OK…Love the Harry Potter characters. I may need to steal them while you aren’t looking. And I am so excited to see you are coming to Atlanta. I am making my husband come home early from work, or getting a sitter, or something 🙂

  324. Will you be coming to the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul, up here in the (not-so-)frozen(-this-time-of-year-)North? Please, please, please?

  325. Victor can’t possibly divorce you, as this is most perfect thing in existence. However, if I do start shipping taxidermied rodents (are they actually rodents?), I think I might lose all my friends.

    STILL. You give me confidence in humanity everday~

  328. So I didn’t read all 300+ comment, so it may have already been said, but Draco Malfoy definitely needs to be a ferret, not a mouse!

  329. Just read this post to my main squeeze Alex. He’s actually still sleeping, but still managed to mutter under his breath, “Albatross Dumbledore…. Severus Snake.” I love him so much.

  331. So fun! 🙂 I second the suggestions of either Hare-y Potter or Hairy Otter… and offer up Professor Severus Snake. 🙂 Loving your book and looking forward to finishing it on our vacation next week! Congrats on your success!!!

  332. Completely unrelated to this post, but I’m reading your book and a million times have wanted to hit the “Reply” button only to remember I’m reading a book. Anyway, I just have to say, “Really, Victor think Franken Berry is a girl? Has he even looked at Franken Berry?”

  338. Yay Boston!!! Do you like marzipan? Because I will totally sculpt you a marzipan Hamlet von Schnitzel. It may look like a two year old with limited motor skills made it but it will come from the heart…or something.

  343. I hope you can come to Portland, OR (or Eugene, OR where I am!!) we really need you to come and share your wisdom & hilarity! Plus, there’s a lot of things you can make fun of our State for! We are totally ridiculous!!

    I love the doll with the turquoise hair and red flower! She seems to be really making a silent statement!

  344. I co-sign the acquisition of Harry Otter. Also? You need Neville Frogbottom. Neville’s always been my favorite.

    And while we’re at it, we need some teachers to keep these kids in check. Severus Snake. Minerva Meownagall.

  345. Please come to Cleveland, Ohio. That would be awesome! I would have to have you sign my iPod though because I bought the audiobook from iTunes. And my friend preordered your book and got the signed bookcard, but she lost it, and is very upset over this. She needs you to come sign her actual book. That would be swell. Thanks.

  347. Why don’t I see Denver on your list? You could have your signing at The Tattered Cover, where they take book snobbery to a whole new level.

  348. Boston? You are coming to Boston! Don’t tease me! Tell me where and when now, please!!!

  353. Dammit, we JUST moved away from Annapolis, and I used to shopping at that B&N ALL THE FRICKING TIME! Okay, now I have to decide which is better, to see you in Gaithersburg or in Annapolis, since it’s a drive either way. Dammit, why did we move????

  356. You are a black hole that all the stars are gravitated towards.

    Ok. That analogy was meant to be an awesome compliment. There’s a reason why I am not a writer…

  358. Still hoping for Raleigh or Durham, NC, but I WILL make the three and a half hour drive (seven for round trip) to Charlotte if we can’t get you to come closer. But since the alligator came from *near RDU* I’m still really hoping you’ll bring him back home to visit us and I can get a picture with you and him!

    *****Smooches!*****

  359. OMG! I almost peed my pants when I saw you were coming to Atlanta! *does a dance of joy*

  362. So where are the Chicago dates on your book tour??? Show us the love! 🙂

  364. I’m dying over here, trying to find out the details of Charlotte. Or I might have to drive 4 hours to Atlanta!

  365. I am dying! That is awesome! I LOVE it! One day, I must share with you a photo of my taxidermied iguana. He is playing the harp…and thanks to some twisted friends…smoking a big joint.

  367. I will gladly drive from Raleigh to Charlotte to come see you. However when I click on the Charlotte link it takes me to a Facebook login…written in Indonesian.

  368. I’ll bet you could dud up a current dead animal in your collection for Professor S’Quirrell. Wouldn’t a little turban be adorable??

  369. It’s totally like elementary school, where everyone is hollering to the popular kid to come sit with them! Although I refrained in the fourth grade, I find that as I get older I have less shame. So Philly, Philly, Philly, pleasespleaseplease come to Philly! Chris Moore came to Philly. Just sayin’.

  370. Wait – have I asked for a tour stop in Seattle yet? What? Only several times? Hmm, maybe I’m not pronouncing the city’s name correctly? Maybe if I ask in…Spanish?
    ¿Por favor ventate a Seattle?
    In French…?
    S’il vous plait, vas-tu a Seattle?
    In Japanese…?
    Seattle kudasai?
    In Latin…?
    Venir ad Seattle?

    Hokay, now it’s pretty damn obvious that 1) I am making-up these shite translations and very badly so and B) I would reeeeally love it if you came to Seattle!!

    Also, thanks for not being scared of me! 😀

  373. So excited you are coming to Charlotte!! I was wishin’ and hoping’ and thinking’ and praying’…

  374. I’M LEAVING ON AN EPIC PILGRIMAGE TO HARRY POTTER LAND IN 3 DAYS!!!!

    I shall spread the word of your treasures…

  375. YEA!!! Atlanta!! I am coming!!! And Ron Weasel-ly Was made for her

  378. YES YES you need Draco Mousefy!!! In fact I think you have to have him.

    What animal would Bellatrix Lestrange be, because she just needs to be taxidermied.

  381. Jenny, I am much older than you, but I grew up in San Saba and attended ASU. My mom drove me through Wall every 3 weeks to the orthodontist in San Angelo. i love you and I believe everything you say! I went on Rattle Snake roundups with my boyfriend (I now have a serious snake fobia), and I am sure that Barnaby Jones Pickles was killed by a rattlesnake. Fuck…we live in Texas and we are surrounded by snakes! I now live in Waco and have a lot of “green space” aka wild land. We have had coyotes, foxes, porcupines, armadillos, owls, snakes, tarantulas…and we live in the city limits. Recently, my yard man said…”You have a big, bad snake in the yard!” I said, “What do you mean? What kind if snake?” He said, “Bad”. I made my husband put on boots and walk all around the yard with a hoe for three days….no snake. I know he is out there waiting for my dogs and cats…or me…or my kids ( who are now 25, 21 18…so I guess they are ok). I love the idea of wild Texas, but I am so neurotic about the reality of what I KNOW I will eventually encounter! Great job on the book!!! I loved it!!!

  382. trying to covertly read your blog & my 6 year old says “Really mom! A Weasel!!” I said, yes it’s Ermione Granger & Ron Weasel-y as my 9 year old rounds the corner and laughs her ass off, really it’s on the floor…I think that she thinks that’s the funniest Shit she’s ever seen or heard!

  384. If you come to Seattle I really want to know. I will definitely bring my book to sign… Sorry, no stuffed critters that died of natural critters around to share though.

  385. “Ermione the first lady!”, the first thing that came into my mind.

  387. Awwww, she’s so adorable! I think you should start a line of tiny replicas so I can buy one for my desk. Pretty please? Actually, you should do that with all your taxidermied friends.

  388. Charlotte people, looks like its May 17th at 7pm at the Concord Mills Books a Million.

  391. awww look how proud and happy he looks standing up next to his special lady!!

  393. You need to come to Philadelphia. Have you SEEN the Reading Terminal Market? No, you haven’t, because you haven’t come to Philadelphia. So if you come, you will sign many books and Ke$ha, and then you can go to the Reading Terminal Market and revel there because IT. IS. GLORIOUS!

  395. I could not be any more excited about you coming to Atlanta. Seriously– Wednesday shall be one of the best days of my year!

  397. I was reading your book while drinking a beer outside when I started laughing do hard I almost choked and had to spit out my beer . . . Into my shoes. So I rinsed them in the kids’ wading pool and kept reading.

  399. He is totally rocking that hood.

    I think you have set a very dangerous precedent. I expect you will need to get more shelving space very soon. It’s just a matter of time before you have the full harry potter cast in rodent/near rodent form.

    I do look forward to seeing Vole D. Mort (the D stands for danger) face off against Harry Otter mentioned above though. That’s going to be a sweet battle.

  401. Jenny,
    This doesn’t have anything to do with your post, above, but does have to do with your book and how it is affecting my writing. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, but today I went to Plinky because they keep pestering me with prompts and I thought I would throw them a bone and write something to a prompt, maybe two, and then when I saw the second prompt, which is “What place seemed much smaller after coming back to visit again?” the only answer I could think of was: my vagina.

    Jenny, it may be hilarious to you, but that is not the type of writing I do… I will have to stop writing for a while until I finish your book because that is clearly an inappropriate answer, but I can’t help but chortle. You’re rubbing off on me. Maybe all the people you’re rubbing off on will make the world a better place for you, though. That would be good, right?

    XOXOX

    Diana

  402. I am so glad to hear you have added other locations for your tour. I am, however, slightly disappointed that the time you are coming to Atlanta, I will be away on a trip. Maybe I can find another close location to stalk, I mean, meet you. Congrats.

    Oh, and I’m waiting to see a picture of the prisoner of Ratkaban.

  403. And to think I never even considered taxidermied animals in clothing before I found your blog! My life was so drab. Also, I showed by significant other (only, in this particular occasion he only ASSUMES he’s significant. Sometimes he is, but in this case he isn’t.) the picture and how cool they were and he just looked at me and said, “don’t. you. dare.” so now I guess I have to figure out something else to collect. Like buttons.

  404. If I find you Draco Mousefoy, will you come to Toronto? Or am I going to have to carry it on a plane like a badass?

  405. Can you come to upstate NY? I live in Buffalo but I’d drive to Rochester or Syracuse if I had to!

  407. Your Annapolis date coincides with my daughter’s 10th birthday party. I had a very harrowing minute, at first full of ecstatic joy when my sister told me you were coming here, and then bloated with crushing disappointment when I saw the date and time.

    My sister, who has her priorities absolutely straight, is skipping her beloved niece’s party so she can meet you in person. She is under strict orders to heap praise upon you on my behalf, then kidnap you and bring you to the bowling alley where the party is. Aside from being several times ickier and noisier than a crowded Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon during cold and flu season, this bowling alley boasts a full bar, a private bathroom, and not one sign indicating that Xanax use is forbidden. I really don’t see how you can NOT come.

    If I don’t see you that day, that means one of these statements will be true:
    1.) My sister ultimately decided she doesn’t love me enough to go to jail for me, and she Beyonce’d out of carrying out the plan. I always knew she was selfish.
    2.) You unleashed a robotic killer animal/vampire on my dearly beloved, selfless, irreplaceable sister when she tried to grab you, and she died a horrific, screaming, bloody death trying to make my dream of meeting you come true. Way to kill a dream, Jenny.
    3.) My sister stood in line a really long time, stammered out a greeting when she met you, and she walked away from the encounter furiously happy with her signed copy of your book, which she will let me hold in my very own hands once or twice while she tells me all the things she wished she’d said instead of, “Um. Hi. You’re like, awesome and stuff.”

    Come to think of it, that last scenario doesn’t look too bad now that I’ve written it out. Sorry about that near-kidnapping incident there. And I forgive you for almost killing my sister. Now let’s hug it out.