It’s disconcertingly large, you guys

in Random Crap

We live in the country where there aren’t any parks nearby so I decided to get on google maps and see if there were any in the neighboring counties that had merry-go-rounds.  I miss merry-go-rounds.  This is what I found instead.

I swear to God, this is real.

I have concerns.

289 thoughts on “It’s disconcertingly large, you guys”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. It’s where you can park your butt.

    AHAHAHAHAHA. *slaps knee* Man I am a hoot!

  10. when the largest grocery store chain is named HE BUTT , it goes with out sayin…..

  11. Oh, don’t be so immature! Obviously it was named after the great statesman Seymore Butts.

  14. Any relation to the guy who founded HEB? That’s a hill country thing, right?

  15. I once vacationed on an island up here in Canada called Butt Island! Contrary to its name, it was gorgeous!

  16. If it allays your concerns any, it was probably named after the Butt family, of HEB fame. When I was a kid, there were many jokes about the Butt family. Many, many jokes.

  17. Sounds like when my friends thought i couldn’t find a monkey at the Grand canyon and I came out of the gift shop with a topo map for “dead monkey ridge”.

  28. You need to Google “Bong Recreation Area”. It’s a real place in my hometown. Technically it’s the Richard Bong Recreation Area, but no one calls it that. Took me until my early 20s to figure out why everyone laughed when I suggested we go out to Bong…

  29. Oddly enough, the surname “Butt” is very common in Newfoundland and Labrador. But the best thing about that beautiful, rugged province is that you can drive from Dildo to Conception Bay and end up in Paradise in just under an hour and a half: https://maps.google.ca/maps?saddr=Dildo,+NL&daddr=Conception+Bay+South,+NL+to:Paradise,+NL&hl=en&ll=47.458273,-53.211594&spn=0.315697,0.837021&sll=47.45824,-53.286665&sspn=0.315697,0.837021&geocode=Fbze1QIdks7O_Cm9Qul3PzdzSzEswa0Jrcg1BA%3BFZfV1AIdqxPX_ClJW_sM3rkMSzF8y3KWY3NASQ%3BFUtj1QIdxjfZ_Cl5HwMlEbsMSzEwDKKBiQjYwQ&oq=Paradi&mra=ls&t=m&z=11

  30. There is a Butt Park in Corpus Christi too…..there are butts all over Texas.

  32. I do know a playground in Pittsburgh that has a merry-go-round, if you are ever out this way.

  33. What’s even worse is it is very close to Morning Glory circle… Aaaaahhhh Google search rules my life

  34. You live in South Texas. All sorts of things are named after the Butt family (HEB). I am sure you could create an entire tour of only Butt sites: Butt park, Butt gallery, etc.

  35. I would like to see the Guinness world record set here, for largest number of people simultaneously mooning. You can make it happen.

  39. Butt Park is where all the cool kids go to rub butts and stuff. It’s like the unofficial first base because when you get older and realizing that rubbing butts together in a public place is kind of unsanitary, no one wants to admit they’ve gone to Butt Park.

  41. Where are the butts supposed to go for recreation if not Butt Park? Where will they hold their frisbee golf finals? Where will they work on their tans? Where will they lay out their yoga mats?

  44. There’s a Butts County, GA that totally needs to fire its tourism department. They have billboards on I-75 that advertise it as being the “secret sweet spot in the heart of GA”. Always makes me cringe.

  45. Ummm…it’s probably a good thing it’s classified as a “Park” and not a “Recreational Area.” That? Would be WAY worse!

  46. hahahaah!!!! thanks for the morning giggles!!! I used to live near a place called Lizard Lick. yeah.. the south is funny. 😉

  48. @Tamera, Are you from Superior? I used to live in Duluth, but the Bong Bridge was our main ticket to liquor on sundays.

  49. I see there’s a soccer field there…there was an English soccer player named Nicky Butt as well. But I think the HEB theory is probably more likely.

  50. Hong Kong has a Tong Fuk Beach.

    I imagine it’s the hot lesbian vacation destination.

  52. We’ve a Black Butts Lane near where I live aswell as a Butts Beck (a beck is a small stream)

    Medaeval times – Its from it being exposed so the archery targets (Butts) would start to rot and go black.

  53. My son would love that. He’s 11. Butt is one of his favorite words. So is duty. And nuts. He’s 11. That’s my only excuse. Remember when there ‘were’ merry-go-rounds. I think towns are too worried about liability now. They’d rather just have kids play in the Butt. Park.

  54. My guess is that if that park is in central Texas, it was probably named for Herbert E. Butt, who founded the grocery store chain that bears his initials. I hear that the stores sell cartons of milk and egg whites.

    I would have expected a lot more curved lines in a park with that name, though.

  59. @Tricia – I was just in Butts County, GA this weekend for a family reunion. Every time my husband would see a tag with Butts on it he would laugh like a 1st grader. Every. Time. By Sunday, I was ready to throttle him. 🙂

  60. @CJ – I’m further south, in Kenosha. I love Wisconsin, but we are definitely an odd breed.

  62. Apparently google and the world at large are going out of their way to ensure you are never without blog fodder in order to keep the masses entertained. How do I get them to do that for me too? LOL

  63. That’s what I would like to do today. Go find a nice quiet place to park my butt and do nothing!

  68. Forest Park, a beautiful natural space near my home in Queens, has a carousel my kids loved. Sadly, NYC Parks haven’t found a vendor to run the Forest Park Carousel these past few years.

  69. Ew. Something tells me there is a lot of vans with no windows parked around there.

  71. When I was pregnant with Mel, the first doctor I saw was named Dr. Butt. I kid you not. If it was my maiden name, I’d get it changed and if the man I was going to marry had that as his last name, I’d keep my maiden.

  72. Jenny, this entire country is a Butt Park. When is the last time we got off our butts and did anything extraordinary?

  74. There’s both an ‘Ass Hill’ and an ‘Ass Rock’ in Newfoundland, Canada. So maybe they have a copyright on ‘Ass Park’? I mean, clearly they have a theme going… At least ‘Butt’ is more PC, right? Little things, Jenny, little things.

  75. I once climbed some steep stone steps which threaded up through the historic city of Lincoln [England]. When we eventually reached the top there was a tourist info board showing a map of the same location back in the 15th Century … when [unbelievably] the parish had been called ‘Butwerk’. After climbing through it – in wedge heels – I could see why …

  76. Well, I live close to Blueball, Kentucky. So at least you don’t have to refrain from giggling every time you hear it mentioned in ‘polite company.’

  77. I love how everyone thinks they’re a stand-up comedian in the comments of this blog.

    (The comments are always better than the post. ~Jenny)

  80. I knew a kid named Warren Butts in school. The family changed their name when he got to middle school. Needless to say he was the butt of a lot of jokes.

  82. Hmmm. Maybe that’s why it is called HEB, and not HE Butt Groceries. Wait, that would be awesome…

  83. Oh, that’s an easy one – it’s the Butt family, of H. E. B. fame – H. E. Butt was the original proprietor. The Butt family have been huge philanthropists through the years and I bet there are more parks than this one named after one of them in this area!

  84. Oh, and we have a merry-go-round near my office – let me know if you want/need directions.

  86. Ha! I know where that is! I used to live there (in the city not in the park). My daughter played soccer there and I laughed every time we went to that park.

  87. Yeah, my mom didn’t believe the HEB origins (She calls it THE HEEB which she thinks is hysterical). I was like, “No one is going to walk around saying – “Can you run to the Butt for some milk please??”…” So really, they did the right thing… Obviously not for stand up comics. But for eggwhite drinkers everywhere.

  93. My son recently had a spin on the “merrill go round” at Santa Cruz…. he declared it the best park in the whole wide world and asked to go there 100x per day… instead of the beach.

  94. I’m just loving all the punny remarks about it!! Butt Park is definitely pretty funny.

    We live semi-close to a place called Kill Creek. IMO, I’d rather live closer to Butt Park. 😉

  95. There used to be a merry-go-round in Landa Park which is in the same city as Butt Park!

  96. Wow. There are so many dirty places my brain went to just then. I would be wary about any large area of bushes if I were you.

  97. Wouldn’t you be even MORE nervous if they actually *had* a merry-go-round in the Butt Park, though??

  98. We went to watch my 7 year old play ball and explored the ancient small town playground with my 3 year old. I was happily (slowly) spinning Henry on the old-school metal merry-go-round, having a ball when Charlotte finished her game, came over, gave it a huge twirl and Henry went flying. Oh yeah, that’s why they don’t have merry-go-rounds anymore.
    When I was a kid…the combo of the hot metal, trying to hold on without getting third degree burns, and getting the indentations of that stupid pattern (traction?) permanently imprinted on the backs of your legs…. broke an arm on a merry go round, AND I LIKED IT! Um… yeah.

  101. There is a Bum Lake in our town, which -naturally, perhaps- is near several of the outreach and shelter projects in our area.

  103. I know you don’t live in my area but I thought I would make you a little jealous. In Phila PA there is a park called freedom center. There are a lot of children activities AND a very large merry-go-round dating around 1900’s. I went there as a child (not in the early 1900’s I am not that old ), there were gold rings to try to catch, beautiful horses, etc. Still there.

  105. My hubby lived in Palmer, AK when they opened a new middle school. On opening day the sign read
    “Welcome to PMS”, needless to say that was quickly changed!

  106. It looks oddly dry. I suppose that’s better than muddy, but still.

  107. Your park is so, um, well, flat. Nobody wants to play at that park. Well, maybe a couple of people want to play in that park.

  110. The poor children that grow up around that area must be completely numb to butt jokes by the time they’re, like, 13. How terrible for them to be reared in that area. Heh heh… rear… butt.

  112. Dude, seriously? The stupid motherfucking adobe flash player won’t install on my computer. Cool Butt Park though.

  114. Okay, since we’re on the topic of names, can someone PLEASE tell me how you pronounce the last name “Fuchs”? Cuz I SEE it quite a bit but I’ve never heard anyone SAY it and I know how I would say it and it would probably get me in trouble. What the fuck is it? FUCKS? FEWKES? Fuch-es? Get back to me on that pronto, please. Somebody.

  120. We live in Boerne. I remember stumbling upon a playground not too long ago that not only had a real merry-go-round, but also the monkey bars and one of those domes that I thought were declared a strangling hazard. I had a blast. So, they do still exist! Now, if I can only remember where I was 🙁

  121. What, you’ve never been to Butt Park? It’s across town from Crotch Fields.

    -The End

  123. OK. Maybe I do need glasses. I couldn’t understand what the fuss was about. I thought it said “Ballpark”. Which is like, normal. After reading the first couple comments, I looked closer.

    Do naming committees not say these names out loud when they propose them? Or did no one want to tell Mr. Butt that his name wasn’t appropriate for a park?

  124. Don’t forget to go visit wonderful Salem, Virginia and take a drive down scenic (not really) Butt Hollow Road.

  127. There is a park in Conway, Arkansas called “Toad Suck Park.” True story!

  131. If you ever find yourself in Kalispell MT, there is a merry go round in their woodland park. My boys were in heaven! We had to visit that park every day of our trip to play on it:) That is the only one I have seen in a LONG time.

  133. I’m guessing that when planning family vacations, a lot of husbands want to go there, but their wives won’t let them go in.

  134. So if Governor Hogg’s daughter, Ima Hogg (true story, in 1890) married Howard E. Butts and hyphenated her name, that would make her Ima Hogg-Butt. LOL!

    @Leila – the police chief in our town has the last name Fluck and he pronounces it FLOOK. Takes all the fun out of it.

  135. When you’re tour stop visiting Seattle, you should check out the Seattle Waterfront Arcade. They have a Merry Go Round. The arcade is at the very end of a pier so you don’t actually see the merry go round until you venture all the way to the back. I think I still prefer the arcade over the enormous ferris wheel that was just built. Plus there’s a fun store called Pirate’s Plunder at the front of the pier for all your piratey needs. Arr. 🙂

  136. OMGOSH when you are in Seattle, Greenlake park and Bitter lake park (which is about 5 miles from the costco you’ll be at) HAVE MERRY-GO-ROUNDS!!!
    Check them out! Now I may have to go to Seattle early so I can stop at Bitter lake and see if you are there. I would go there and not greenlake. Greenlake is one of the more popular places and there are a million people there and no parking. Bitterlake is frequently empty:) perfect for us normal folks.

  137. Oy.

    We have a neighborhood park here…no official park name , but it’s on Hurlbut street…so it’s “the Hurlbut Park” sigh

    Can you imagine? You could never have a Farmers’ Market there…at Butt Park…cuz nobody would visit it…ick.

    Do they even THINK when they name shit like this?

  140. I grew up in PA and I think that the t shirt slogan from Amish country applies here. “Virginia may be for lovers but only Pennsylvania has INTERCOURSE.”

    That’s right, Intercourse, PA.

  141. I would have thought that would be in Buttzville, PA. I was pleased to learn that such a town existed.

  147. I use to live on a road called Butts Ave…. we didn’t have a butts park fortunately 🙂

  150. Your mission is clear. You need to go there now and I want a full report, complete with pictures. We can blur them our later if need be.

  151. Portland, Oregon still has at least one Merry-go-round. When I was visiting my sister, I had great fun assisting kids on it. As far as I know, California is also devoid of these childhood monstrosities. The Pacific Northwest knows what’s it’s all about! (They probably play the Hokey Pokey a lot up there. They say you can learn a lot from that game)

  152. WOW! I am luck enough to live in Colorado and have a park right accross the street. However it does not have a merry-go-round. Not many parks will have them anymore do to kids getting hurt.

    Tell me who thinks we are protecting our kids to much?
    It just seems to me that they are always taking fun things away form kids because they will get hurt.

    As for the name ‘Butt park’ maybe they miss spelled it and it is suppose to Butte Prark. Just a thought

    Thanks for sharing this and giving me my laugh for the day.
    debbie

  153. Portland, Oregon still has at least one Merry-go-round. When I was visiting my sister, I had great fun assisting kids on it. As far as I know, California is also devoid of these childhood monstrosities. The Pacific Northwest knows what’s it’s all about! (They probably play the Hokey Pokey a lot up there. They say you can learn a lot from that game)

  156. There’s a merry-go-round at Riverside Park in Muncie, IN, but when I visited last year the park was much sketchier than I remembered when I lived there. Bonus: One of my kids almost puked on the merry-go-round. Looks like she inherited mommy’s vertigo. Lucky girl.

  157. No one is at Butt Park. No one is in the parking lot. There are no trees or bushes. Just a dried up soccer field and some garbage cans. So that’s how they party in Texas?

    And all those ‘down on California’ commenters are wrong. Within a 30 min drive of my house, there are no less than 3 actual merry-go-rounds (the horse/animal motorized kind) and one of those old-fashioned playground metal ones that are so hard to find because they are too fun…I mean, dangerous.

    I think you should actually GO to Butt Park. Or maybe you did?

  158. Portland has a few of em still around. If you happen to pass through Baker City, Oregon (almost to Idaho) there is an awsome park next to their library with all the ‘dangerous’ metal goodies galore! Including one amazingly tall slide!

  159. All the talk about HEB and Butts made me remember a joke my father-in-law loved to tell. Did you hear that HEB and Piggly Wiggly were going to merge into one grocery store? They are going to call it Wiggly Butts.

  162. So… I’m dying to know how it got it’s name. Do you park your butt there? Because aren’t parks supposed to be exercise and running and stuff? It doesn’t look like there is too much to it either… Boo on Butt Park

  163. @ Jenny — do you mean merry-go-round / carousel like the kind they rode in Disney’s “Mary Poppins”? Or the hot metal spin-it-yourself kind that some of us got lumps on when we were kids in the 60s & 70s?

    @Cheryl – If we’re going to do a Guiness Book of World Records simultaneous mooning, we should time it for the next time Google updates its satellite pictures. I’m sure there are some Google employees within six degrees of separation from this list!

    @XLMIC – No one in the parking lot probably means that Google updated their satellite maps at an unpleasant time of day. ie really really early before anyone wants to be up, or high noon on a hot day.

  164. There used to be a place called Pickle Park around here(Ohio) that was said to be there place where the local gay men would meet for romantic rendezvous. I always wondered which came first the name or or the rendezvous!

  168. We have a lot of butt parks around here too. They are for the non-athletic spectators, cheerleader gawkers, and most over the age of 40.

  169. I have awesome pictures of my sister and I hanging upside-down from the crossbars of a merry go round, with our hair dragging in the dirt as we spun. Good times. Definitely not at Butt Park, though.

  175. Apparently in the UK there is a sleepy location called Butthole Road – a relic from the time when archers practiced firing their arrows in the area. Butt = arrow butt.

    [Snigger]

  176. When I was growing up one of our favorite “secret” swimming places was called “Lake Ass.” Supposedly it was the shape of an ass via aerial views. We took great pleasure in showing our asses there while skinny dipping. Now it’s surrounded by a subdivision.

    You really CAN’T go home.

    *sigh*

  177. In north Dallas there used to be a hospital named RHD Memorial. It was named for Robert H Dedman, an area businessman and philanthropist. It was a nice hospital, but who wants to go to a medical facility named Dead Man? I don’t live in Dallas anymore but I believe they have changed the name of that hospital.

  178. Oh, and I think we’d all like to see a photo shoot of you in the traveling red dress at Butt Park. Maybe you could even moon us all from beside the Butt Park sign.

  179. Kelly and Jeff,
    Don’t forget that Intercourse is near Bird in Hand, PA. Amish country, no less.

  181. I have you beat–we live in a building called Alfred Butt House. In an area called Tooting. I can’t make this shit up.

  182. I live round the corner from a very exclusive and expensive Georgian estate called ‘The Butts’ (in Brentford, UK).

    My wife finds this most amusing…

  183. So we got new computers at work. I needed to test out how well they interneted so I decided to come for my bloggess dose.

    It was the quickest I had ever gotten here on a work computer.

    And that is how I will always remember Butt Park.

  184. Butt? Not like a missing e and should be Butte? Concerned wouldn’t even start to cover it for me!!

    On an aside, thank you for posting something funny today. My daughter started kindergarten this morning and although I’m fine on the outside, inside I’ve been crying since yesterday. It was nice to have inside and outside smiling at the same time even if it’s brief. 🙂

  185. just so happens we drove past near there at lunch. Try landa park instead? They have a train!

  186. Jenny-
    Our town park still has a merry-go-round. It is like a spinning death trap as well as a potential gateway drug. My kids freakin love it, even though each one has been thrown off multiple times into the mulch (or lack there of), they keep going back. It gets kids high…I’m convinced. This is the real reason they have all been removed…blame D.A.R.E. And don’t tell Stewartsville, NJ…they have not yet received the memo!

  187. I initially read this as “any in the neighboring countRies that had merry-go-rounds” and I was very confused. I was like, damn, searching all the way from Mexico to Canada for a merry-go-round, and all you could find was a big ass park.

  189. I’m scanning through all these comments crazy fast (read: being lazy and not really reading them) and in all seriousness for your merry-go-round dilemma, no one has mentioned the carousel in Brenham, TX. I don’t know how bad you want to go to a merry-go-round, but you can go to the BlueBell ice cream factory, take a tour, and then go find the carousel and go for a ride, at a buck a pop.

  190. @Tamera: I might have yelled out “Hey!” when I read your first comment. My parents live literally right next to Bong Recreation Area. Not every day you run into someone (even on the internet, and especially on one of my favorite blogs) who knows about stuff in middle-of-nowhere Kenosha County. Awesome.

  192. Turns out Butt Park is in my husband’s hometown. This must be explored further.

  197. My aunt and uncle live up in rural Virginia right across from Butt Mountain. There is Big Butt Peak and Little Butt Peak with a small dip in between the two peaks.

  198. Where I grew up there was a large park called Blackbutt. The name makes me laugh every time I hear it.

  201. So I pulled up maps on the iPad, typed in Butt Park, and it pulled up all these plastic surgery centers. OMG!!!!

  203. Worse yet, punkin, is that there are TWO parks named Butt in Texas.

    We’re not that creative at naming things, so I think someone fell off a horse on these spots…hence, the name “Butt”.

    Or, lots of car ashtrays get dumped at these sites.

    Or, someone thought a butte was really a butt and since Texas is flat like the top of a butte, which is really a mesa aaaaaaaannnd I’m stretching way too far here.

    None of these things is like a merry-go-round, so there’s that.

  208. It’s named after the dude that made HEB, I think. I know because I’ve seen butt on my mustard from HEB. Wait, that didn’t come out right…

  209. If you want really cool, old merry-go-rounds, you should visit Binghamton, NY. We have seven of them all within a few miles from each other! And, the best part, they’re all FREE to ride!

  211. No Ladies Man reference?

    “I see you’ve been to Butte Park.”

    “Uh, dat’s Butt Park. I also enjoy tennis.”

  212. I believe there is still a merry go round at Raymond Russel park just north of San Antonio. I’m still out of breath from pushing my kids around it a couple of years ago. It even has the dirty gravel all around it to get shoved into the open wounds. The kids loved it.

  213. Am I the only one that thinks it’s hilarious that Adrasteia managed to get a reference to Cracked into a comment on a post about a big Butt?

  215. having lived in Portales, NM for 3 years I do believe this…i also notice there are no trees…in portales, the dairy farmers believe that the trees take the water from the aquifer, which is 40 feet underneath the surface, so all of the trees are removed…
    football is the only sport that matters in texas, i am sure that your daughter might be brainwashed into being a cheerleader unless she is home schooled by junior high. her life might end in texas if she is not a cheerleader.
    so, you and victor might consider putting in a playground in the backyard…

  219. The name of that park is quite disturbing. But as for the merry-go-rounds may as well give up….apparently, they are to “dangerous” for kids these days.

  220. It’s named after my high school biology teacher, Ms. Butt. Fitting tribute.

  222. You have to come back to New York, and then come to Brooklyn. Brooklyn Bridge Park has a lovely carousel that dates back to 1920. I rode it last month, and since I’m 40+ and was unaccompanied by children, people gave me kind of funny looks. I feltl sad for them that they were too prissy to enjoy horsies going up and down.

  223. We still have merry-go-rounds in NZ! most of the time we can’t be arsed suing people we just get on with it. The park just down the road from me had such a kick ass merry go round installed, seriously your hop on, spin it a couple of times and unless someone stops it for you, you literally have to eject yourself out through the side, tuck and roll and hope for the best! sweeeeett!

  224. I swear to you… Look up Beaverlick, KY (No joke). And the kicker is that it’s near another place called Big Bone and smack dab between the two… Big Bone Lick State Park… I shit you not. I love finding random things in the phone book maps.

  225. Would you really ride a merry-go-round at Butt Park? Directions are easy though “when you get to Taint, go straight ahead, you’re almost there.”

  227. This is literally the funniest blog ever and I only just found it this week after reading Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. Now I’m all despondent because I missed 5 YEARS of this stuff and I want to read all of the posts in the archive, but my boyfriend says I have to get a job soon because I haven’t worked in over a year, but how can I read 5 YEARS worth of posts if I get a job?! And now those posts are no longer time-relevant and I missed all the awesome camaraderie in the comments section and I’d just be making a pathetic attempt to rekindle it by posting now. ~sigh~ I totally missed the OJ car chase and now this. I’m so not relevant.

    Who’s in charge of marketing here?! Could you PLEASE do your job and make sure people hear of this before yet ANOTHER book comes out, huh??? Ke-rist!

  228. Agreeing with Kathy @ 5:29 – funniest blog ever and you need a better marketing department! I just found out about you from the Changing Hands Bookstore email … man o man I hope they’re ready for the doorbustin’ crowds. Have a great trip! Meanwhile, over on my new little blog I wrote about a sunrise walk and it came out kinda sexy … I likee … http://dancinginthetao.wordpress.com

  230. @Julie – We should start up a monthly Bloggess Fan Club get-together at the Mars Cheese Castle. I swear that is the only thing people recognize about Kenosha.

  231. Is it just me or does the tree look kind of like a plug? Maybe I’ve been reading too much of 50 Shades . . .

  234. I see Bong Recreational Area has been mentioned here in Wisconsin. Another good name is a road in Hayward, WI named Bacon Strip. I just about started laughing out loud when someone gave me their address.

  235. Finished your book in the spring. I read it before bed. I laughed every night and was disappointed when I reached the end. Thanks for a very enjoyable read.

  240. If you have a chance, when you are in San Diego during your book tour, check out the carousels – info is below.

    Balboa Park
    San Diego

    Dogs, cats, deer, zebras, frogs and dragons are just a few of the party animals on this ride built in 1910. All but two hand-carved pairs are originals, as are the hand-painted murals and the military band music. It’s also one of the places where you can still grab for the brass ring.

    or

    Seaport Village
    853 W Harbor Dr.
    San Diego, CA
    619-232-4220
    Hand-carved in 1895 by the renowned Charles Looff, it started out in Dallas’ Fair Park and entertained folks in Oregon and up in Santa Monica before arriving in San Diego in 2004.

  241. Look at a road map of the Dallas Ft Worth metroplex & it looks like a giant penis. Careful, once you’ve seen it, it can’t be unseen. hahaha

  242. My brother’s girlfriend’s name is- I kid you not- Kate Butt. She and her family are totally cool with it. In FACT, because of the name, her father became a pharmacist and opened up- you guessed it- Butt Drugs. They’ve got promotional merchandise and everything. My brother wants to marry her and take her last name and then open a liquor store. “Butt Liquor.” Honestly, there are so many choices with this one, if he doesn’t marry her, I will.

  243. Maybe it could be a companion to the one here in Seattle called Bhy Kracke Park. I kid you not. I’d paste in a picture of the sign if I could.

  244. @Andrea I’ve been to Big Bone Lick! It’s in Kentucky! I got in trouble in the fourth grade for wearing a t-shirt with the name on it, and my teacher had to call my mother to confirm that it was a real place. For the record, that teacher sucked. She just liked to cause problems.

  247. Oh there are very few, if any, of those old merry-go-rounds that we remember so well. The powers-that-be have declared them to be unsafe like most of the things we did as kids. It’s a miracle we survived to adulthood. (Really, the thing used to scare me to death, and I did get a nasty skinned knee when I fell off, once.)

  252. I lived in McCloud CA for several years and the name of their town park is called Whoo Whoo Park.

  255. We also have a military installations that makes me giggle:
    Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, Goldsboro, NC

  260. In Maryland we have Big Assawoman Bay. I see your butt and raise you an ass…

  263. OMG! You need to post the GPS coordinates. This is one of those places I just HAVE to visit so I can “check in” there on Facebook! Yes, folks, I checked in from Butt Park!

  264. When you come to Denver on the 13th (which I am going to miss because I’m out of town – damn), you should try to get up to Nederland (northwest of Boulder). They have the Carousel of Happiness – resurrected from an ancient merry-go-round with all new hand carved gorgeous animals – a zebra, a frog, a gorilla, and many more. It’s really an experience not to be missed. Here’s the website http://www.carouselofhappiness.org/ You, of all people, would really love this.

  265. You need to come visit Oregon! I think I have about 5 merry-go-rounds within 10 minutes. We don’t take child safety seriously here – the most fun ones are rusty and spin really fast:)

  266. The next town over from us is called Three Cocks. We skipped house hunting there…just because.

    My husband couldn’t say the name without snorting.

  267. @ Emily Davis I never even KNEW there was such a feature as a Lick… turns out it’s just Kentuckian for Big Hill or Bluff. I lived in Cincy after college and my husband is from KY… I was just trying to find the airport and got WAYY more than what I bargained for and many, many more years of laughter out of the deal.

  269. Well, they don’t have a merry-go-round, but I’m sure that they’ll have a circle jerk.

    PADOW!!!!! :oD

    Is it weird that I crack myself up? It’s the little things, I guess.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

  271. @Tamera: Am I a bad cheesehead if I’ve never even been to the Cheese Castle? No, not even the new and improved one with the fancy drawbridge.

  272. That reminds me of the time I laughed my ass off (and e-mailed everyone I knew- after I stopped driving of course) when I drove through central Kentucky and passed the sign that said “Big Bone Lick State Park”.
    Wait… I see by the comments I’m not the only one.
    Then while I was staying in Kentucky, the hotel that I was staying at had a brochure for the French Lick resort in Indiana. Suffice to say I had a really hilarious time in Kentucky.

  273. There is a distinct possibility that I am suffering sleep deprivation. I am still giggling about Butt Park. And I read it a full five to ten minutes ago. 😀

  276. The best part of this is that my girlfriend is pissed she can’t wear them because she does have webbed toes! Totally discriminatory.

  278. I spotted a *brand new* merry-go-round in park in SanFran near the legion of Honor Art Museum. Don’t call it a come-back!

  279. Northern California has Dick Bliss Park. It is a real place, out near Shasta:)

  281. I have one in my backyard, you’re welcome to drink wine and spin on it anytime!

  282. There is also a Butt Hollow Rd in Salem, Va. Seeing that sign while traveling down Interstate 81 was always good for a laugh.

  284. When you’re in Denver, you should get a picture of yourself taken beside a street sign for Jackass Hill in Littleton (about 20 or 30 minutes south from where you’ll be methinks).

  287. Not sure if you’re anywhere this part of Texas but I spent some time in Gruver, TX this summer and they have (in their town of 10 square blocks and about 800 people) not one but THREE merry-go-rounds, and SEE-SAWS! score!

  288. There’s one where I grew up in Corpus, too! They must be all over Texas.

  289. I just have to add my belated comment. I lived in cumming, ga for 10 years. Was so excited when I finally got to use a different return address.

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It's like I'm stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

MY INSTAGRAM

I can write. I can doodle. My talents do not extend to video. Sorry.
So @meowwolfgrapevine was worth the drive.
We’re taking Hailey and their partner on a road trip to @meowwolfgrapevine for their 19th birthday and then dropping them back at college on the way home so that means 4am birthday cake. WE PLAN THINGS SO WELL.

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

DylanBrody.com : Cool stuff always on tap from internationally acclaimed, award-winning humorist, story-teller, filmmaker, playwright, swordsman, martial artist, poet, studying druid and practicing bard Dylan Brody.

Scaredy Cat Travels: Traveling the world with the worst carry-on anxiety.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

The Family Skeptical Podcast: We’re an atheist couple raising two children – we ask big questions, dissect weird parenting moments, and are jealous that our cats get so much sleep.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

Sarah Linn on Medium: Humorist or unstable person with an internet connection? You decide.

Perceptive Insights Psychological Services: Therapy for highly sensitive people; Virtual services available in 38 states.

Uncommon Creatures Digital Portraits: Animal art inspired by Earth’s most magical creatures. Got your own beloved pet you’d like to memorialize? Have no fear… let me turn your fur-baby into a work of art.

Dr. Cardinal has gone through the hell of medical malpractice and misfortune and come back swinging. She fights for equity and ethics by teaching future health care professionals how not to be assholes, and her TED Talk shares her mission.

Dark Matter Zine talks to authors, actors and artists in a free podcast available on all good podcasting platforms. Plus book reviews, book launches and more.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

%d bloggers like this: